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431445 No. 431445 ID: 880134

This job is thankless.
85 posts omitted. Last 50 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 433783 ID: 9718f3

I think we should definitely save one probe for Planet B, in case we find giant horrible monsters on this planet or something else that would make it unfavourable. I really don't want to land blind in case we settle for Plant B, we need at least one probe in reserve.
>>
No. 433793 ID: b85f8c

>>433783
I gotta agree. We send one probe to where we plan to settle, and scout out the rest of the planet via more conventional means. Like spy planes.
>>
No. 433797 ID: af6754

>>433771
"Miller Cylindrical.. So the distortions aren't as bad as it could be with Mercator, but the polar caps definitely aren't as large as implied by this map and it doesn't look nearly as ugly as Galls-Peters."

"Still though, I wanted a rectangular map to fit the rectangular shape of your rectangular screens. If you want to make an interrupted sinusoidal map, be my guest. Me though, I don't like using orange peels for maps, eh?"
>>
No. 433809 ID: 2972f8

>>433797

you're a wise advisor.

I propose we send one probe into a rainforest. it won't likely be detected, and it'll give us a whole lot of information on native flora and fauna. we should also send one not too far from civilization. I really want to know what the native sentient species is like.

I hope they have boobies.
>>
No. 433821 ID: cf49fc

>>433761
"I still think it's insane to attempt a landing on an inhabited alien world we know nothing about. Since you all insisted we land on it anyway despite my objections, I suggest we deploy one probe to the western desert, one to the southern island, and one to the Eastern Continental Desert. We'll need to make contact sooner or later, and sooner is better than later so we can learn whether or not we need to hightail it to Planet B."
>>
No. 433913 ID: b33427

I honestly don't see why we're trying to hide. As long as we don't silhouette the ISRV against the moon, and turn our external lighting off, we'd be just as dark as space to anybody down there using a telescope.

I propose we move the ship into an orbit close enough that we can get a good look at what's down there, so we can better choose probe sites. In fact, we could get a look at the natives from up here, since I assume the cameras available are at least as good as what used to be found on spy satellites. Park ourselves at 37,000 km up, and we could read their newspapers with that kit.
>>
No. 434444 ID: 493ead
File 134267231791.png - (28.69KB , 1004x604 , Zits.png )
434444

>>433913
"That would be a brilliant move and I would applaud you for your tactical insight. Unfortunately, the goof-ass engineers that came up with this ISRV tethered the impulse drive into the main populations' cryo-statis chambers. Shutting off the 'naturally' luminescent engines also means shutting off the cryo-statis chambers. It pisses me off too, but what can you do? We don't the luxury of reconfiguring both the software and rewiring everything."

"And by we, I mean me. I'm not exactly aware of your qualifications and I feel uncomfortable touching such delicate areas of my ship. Err.. No offense."

>>433821
"Your concerns are duly noted, Senator One. The auto-stenographer have recorded these words in both audio and text format. If you'd like to make your fellow members of the Oligarchy eat those words later, well, it will recall them."

>>433793
"Spy planes would have definitely been a brilliant addition to equipment allotted in cargo storage. That is, if it wasn't so full of farming equipment. Damn farming equipment! There is four helicopters, but you can't drop one of those from high orbit, really."

>>Everyone
"There is a two, reoccurring consensuses here. That a single probe should be saved for the strangely dubbed "Space Australia" and one should be sent toward city, with a minor focus on a city connected to rails."

"Unfortunately, there isn't any determinable consensuses on how the second Planet A probe should be used. There is, however, a number of good suggestions."

"At the expensive of seeming as if I'm showing favoritism, Senator Juroko had the excellent idea of sending a probe near the lake in the Uninhabited Continent.I altered the original location slightly to gravitate it more toward the south, so we can take the liberty of exploring a variety of ecosystems later without wasting fuel by needless trekking."

"Once the probes arrive, it will be 24 hours before I collect all the data recorded, so we will remain here for awhile until we can go to Planet B for further study.

"All in favor of the proposed plan say, Aye. All opposed, say Nay and perhaps a brief explanation as to why. You can also Abstain, though I can't foresee a reason as to why."
>>
No. 434453 ID: 99090a

Aye!
>>
No. 434458 ID: 7c31d2

Aye
>>
No. 434461 ID: b85f8c

>>434444
Aye!
>>
No. 434464 ID: bbee3d

Aye. That sounds like a good division of resources, and until we know more about continent B, one location on it is as good as any other.
>>
No. 434467 ID: 64466d

Aye. This works well.
>>
No. 434477 ID: b33427

Aye, unless a probe could be used as a spy satellite, in which case I say nay, and call for the probe targeted at the city be launched as a spy satellite, and recovered before we make planetfall.

Feather, since you have had such long experience with this ship, perhaps you should compile all your complaints and misgivings about her design, along with ideas to improve her. Then attach them to the beginning of the ISRV construction plans in the archive, for the benefit of our decedents when they get to the point of building their own.
>>
No. 434516 ID: b26bd8

Aye, though I must note that living near a large freshwater lake is often less pleasant than it sounds. We canadians should know this. Flash storms of epic proportion, katabatic wind, and vast blankets of freezing fog are all concerns for a lake of that latitude.

>>434477
Also, this guy has good ideas.
Make it happen.
>>
No. 434660 ID: 2972f8

does a camel's ass get tight during a sandstorm?
>>
No. 434666 ID: cf49fc

>>434660
No, they're just naturally hardassed. Anyway, let's drop a probe near that lake. I just want to launch the bloody things and get this over with. Maybe the aliens will be friendly, attractive blue women. Although I'm pretty sure if that were true I'd jump out the airlock.
>>
No. 434682 ID: 2972f8

>>434666

wrong. they manually tighten their ass. it was a rhetorical question synonimical to the phrase "does a bear shit in the woods?"
>>
No. 434691 ID: cf49fc

>>434682
What? Whatever. Let's just launch the probes and be done with it. Since we have decided to make contact, we can always ask for their most useless land if we need to. Can we have an inventory on our weapons? Or did the American ISRV get all the damn guns?
>>
No. 434692 ID: 99090a

>>434691
Why would we need guns? We're perfectly polite anyway, no one would dare attack us. And as for any wildlife, well, that's why we brought the Aussies, eh?
>>
No. 434707 ID: cf49fc

>>434692
Oh for the love of- Did NONE of you read the Hitchhiker's Guide? It doesn't matter how polite you are, you need to have SOMETHING. Otherwise the Krikketers or the Silastic Armorfiends or the Vogons will murder us all to death. Can someone who isn't hopelessly idealistic check our inventory?
>>
No. 434708 ID: 99090a

>>434707
Well, in that case, we have plenty of towels. Again, we'll be fine!
>>
No. 434710 ID: cf49fc

>>434708
Actually, we don't. Towels were cut from the budget before we left Earth. Only the US could afford the "luxury" of towels on an interstellar colony ship. Why did you think I was so nervous?
>>
No. 434716 ID: 60fee2

Aye. Could we get brief overview our entire inventory?
>>
No. 434723 ID: b33427

I'm pretty sure we have some weapons on board, or at least the plans, and production facilities to quickly manufacture them once we land this tub. They wouldn't even have to be fancy modern guns; Stuff of World War One or Two level would be enough to fight the locals, and wouldn't take as many resources to produce.
>>
No. 434736 ID: 64466d

Look, even if we do not have a large number of weapons or towels, we can likely make due with using the terrain as a shield for our initial landing spot. They don't seem to have flying down just yet if they haven't explored the other continent so either they will need to come at us by foot, or by whatever vehichles they have.

If we stay near mountains and wooded terrain, they will be hard pressed to come at us. Besides, mountains means mineral deposits and I'm sure we could use building supplies for more Tim Hortons.
>>
No. 434749 ID: cf49fc

>>434736
Tim Horton's? Some days I regret immigrating to Canada. Don't we have any lunch franchises? Anywho, I recommend construction of a Runway as soon as we're down, and the fabrication of simple aircraft to provide adequate surveillance of our surrounding area. Probe scans are all well and good, but I prefer something more up close and personal.
>>
No. 434839 ID: 4a328b

Abstain. I need more coffee to make an important decision like this, dammit.
>>
No. 434843 ID: 100061

aye, if the reason for that landmass staying empty is something we can deal with it would be a perfect landing location.
>>
No. 434847 ID: 02a377

>>434749
...Tim's DOES do lunch.

GET HIM, HE'S AN AMERICAN PLANT.
>>
No. 434862 ID: b33427

>>434843
Considering we're going by industrial pollution levels to detect cities, that continent could be full of pre-industrial cities that we just can't detect from this far out. We'll just have to wait for the probe data to come back.

>>434847
...Or he's from the contingent of Australians that are supposed to be here. You know, the ones that partially funded this colonization effort. So please keep the accusations down.
>>
No. 434870 ID: cf49fc

>>434847
Oh shi-
>>434862
Uhhhhh, yes. Yes. I am an Australian. Shrimp on the barby. Strewth. Good day, mate.
>>
No. 434940 ID: 839ab3

aye, I say!
>>
No. 434943 ID: b33427

>>434847
Why the hell would the U.S. plant anyone on this ship? Honestly, if anyone would want to screw with our mission, it'd be the U.K., not the U.S.

>>434870
...Really, you better be joking, 'cause otherwise you're the worst infiltration agent ever.
>>
No. 434945 ID: 995303

The old man blinked as he looked up from his own personal screen. It was apparent that he hadn't been listening at all, lost in his world of data.

"I don't care how tight Australian towels are, to be frank. I never heard of such an outrageous
stereotype, anyway."

>>434477
"That... doesn't sound like a bad idea at all, actually. Both of them!"

"Of course, the probe's only have one directional thruster on it. It doesn't have any photovoltaic cells on it either. I mean, it has a solid battery inside of it, but what kind of dill-weed creates a probe that can't be continuously charged? The kind I'm going to complain about, obviously.

>>Inventory
"I.. also heard someone say something about inventory? Yeah. I'll compile the data here shortly."

>>Everyone
"But yeah. Ayes have it. Motion passes. Blah blah blah. The probes are being sent to the indicated locations and we'll get a good look at what's down there, shortly."

"Anyway, I think we should see what sandwiches were left in the Tim Horton's booth on here while we wait, maybe watch some Trailer Park Boys... Who's in?"

>>434749
Don't worry, One. The only reason I know about Tim Hortons lunches is because we have Tim Hortons here in SoOh. I think I'll go right now, actually. Ya'll not shutting up about Tim Hortons...
>>
No. 434995 ID: 60fee2

Me. Spending a century on ice works up a surprisingly big appetite.
>>
No. 435007 ID: afbc40

I could use a nice sandwich and a warm cup of coffee. Entertainment would be nice too before we have to figure out where we'll land, what to do about the natives and how to set up our new home.
>>
No. 435045 ID: 2972f8

no thanks. I'll be in my room getting high. err, on life.
>>
No. 435084 ID: cf49fc

>>435045
And you complained about me being a crappy infiltrator? I'm a SPY and I make a better leader than you. At least I can make decisions when I'm not high.

Also, move for recess whilst I get a sandwich.
>>
No. 435133 ID: afbc40

Now now One, I suggest you change your tune. You are a member of this ship, spy or not and we DO need someone to look through and read every. Single. Complaint the Quebecois have for us. You can have that honor if you wish to continue on that course.
>>
No. 435174 ID: cf49fc

>>435133
All I'm saying is, with competition like Senator Elephant, I started feeling rather bad about spying on you. Seriously, I had to personally make sure NiN got "tragically delayed", or they'd be here right now. PLAYING MUSIC. I think you guys need an American touch. Who else is going to keep Harper on ice?
>>
No. 435178 ID: 60fee2

*facepalm* Note to self. When we get ourselves established, be sure to improve internal security. By the way, what good does a spy do when those you are reporting to are over a century away?
>>
No. 435199 ID: b85f8c

I motion we throw the spy in the slammer.
>>
No. 435200 ID: cf49fc

>>435178
Mostly, I'm just here to collect data and transmit it back, so they can know what exactly happens, even on a delay. Like looking at the CIA Factbook through an AOL connection. Don't worry, it's not like they actually care what happens. I'm only here because the only remaining space on the American ISRV was Duct Tape class, and the Director of the CIA owed me a favor.

And I'd gladly handle the complaints from the Quebecois, as I don't even speak French. Honestly, I figured I'd have to lobby you not to get spaced.
>>
No. 442841 ID: 63bf6b
File 134493387868.jpg - (179.85KB , 640x480 , 1081401-PUY82RS.jpg )
442841

Seconds had lapsed into minutes. Those minutes begat hours. Soon, a whole period of time passed. Thirty-six hours, in fact. Unfortunately, longer than expected, but not enough to deter the spirit of Feather.

Interestingly, he had spent most of it alone. After all this time, he grown accustomed to working without the prying eyes of others. Now, the expectation of someone other than himself made him nervous and he had to spend his time locked inside of the bridge to work.

Yet, all that would come to pass. Feather called the meeting over the intercom. His voice shook with the excitement of one thousand children on Christmas morning, so much so that the message had to be repeated in great excess. This wouldn’t have been so bad if it had been a time other than 4 AM.

Feather was literally on the edge of his seat when the Oligarchy arrived, ready to stand erect whenever he threw the last remaining social conventions out the window.

“Alright! Alright! Okay. Alright. Okay.” He paused before adding, “Okay.”

Beginning was the most difficult part of this task. He wanted to just start off with something other than the beginning, but procedure was procedure.

“Alright. Life. We know its on the planet, but to what extent? That’s why we sent the probe and that’s what we’re going to find out today.”

He played the video. The crashing through the atmosphere made it choppy, though Feather was proud to state. “It held up better than I expected. There was a 2% chance that it would break apart or lose functionality, either in the atmosphere or upon impact. Luckily, neither was the case for both probes.”

“Oh! Yeah. This one is the one we aimed toward that railway outside of the city. Prevailing headwinds sent it off course slightly. Interestingly, to the northwest as opposed to the southeast. Analysis suggest that this is just as usual on the planet itself. Might have been an interesting wind front or something. I’m not a weatherman, by any means.”

The video continued to show it all flying faster and faster toward the ground.until it suddenly jarred and floated upward slightly--a parachute deploying. Below, they could see the railway. Two lanes of rail traffic, one leading into and the other leading out of the city, with deciduous forests and farmland surrounding it all. He paused the video and zoomed in on the image of the city, the pixilation obscuring it. The original image exists alongside of it, but at this size, it’s difficult to make out.

“This is the best image I could get out of the city. It’s clearly industrialized, as you can note by the smokestacks. Some of the building also appear to be stacked... Like a ziggurat. Given the pyramid’s size, scope and the expansiveness of the city, this is probably one of the oldest civilizations on the planet. The fact that they managed to hold onto political power for what could be centuries if not a millennium or two is astonishing in and of itself. The closest Earth ever got was Rome, and that‘s if you count Byzantium.”

“Now, as you can clearly see, you’ll notice that even the newer building follow a similar motif; its as if it’s the bastard lovechild of Germany‘s brick expressionism and Mesoamerican architecture, with its intricate designs and ’stepped’, wedding cake-like bu buildings. The structures themselves never seem to exceed five or six stories, so they haven’t started to use steel for construction. The roadways are small and narrow with the exception of a few thoroughfares, so the likelihood of automobiles or trolleys is almost non-existent.”

Feather pressed play on the video again and it continued to fall to the ground below slowly. Grumbling, the old man pressed fast-forward until it reached the ground, the camera aiming up at the sky now. As it continued to fast-forward through the day until it arrive at one particular place. He pressed pause and revealed a remarkable still image.

“This is our alien race.” He paused for dramatic effect. “They look kind of like ant-eaters, don’t they? Whatever they are, they‘re clearly mammalian. The girl has boobies. Fuzzy boobies. They’ve also developed a sense of modesty, albeit still scantily clad. I’d imagine the clothing most of us are used to would heat them greatly. The male looks to have gold around his neck. Could be wealthy, but he could also be more of a commoner. We don‘t know how rare gold is on this planet.”

“What interests me most about the picture is the gun. It has a musket-style end on the barrel, suggesting that they haven’t discovered rifling yet. What’s curious is the circle in the middle of the gun. I have no idea what it could mean, actually. Clip, maybe? I’m not a firearm guy. I’m attuned to the guns on my ship.”

“There’s also rectangular eyes on the male, which only begs the question on why an ant-eater man would have goat eyes and why the females wouldn’t have it. Could be an evolutionary trait developed during their hunting and gathering phase, giving them a wider look at the fields or whatever.”

Feather pressed play on the video once more. They seem to look at it intensely for nearly fifteen minutes before the male figure jumps and shoots at it with his gun, destroying the lens and effectively ending the video.

“Probe worked in some capacity, but mostly for data and it covers what we already know. It’s an earth-like planet. Air’s fine. Water’s fine. Soil’s fine. Gravity’s fine. Bacteria and viruses are similar to our own. It continued to operate in this capacity before all contact was disrupted six hours before this meeting started.”

“If you have any questions or comments about this probe, speak up! Otherwise, we’ll move onto the next one.”
>>
No. 442848 ID: b85f8c

>>442841
How powerful would that gun have to be to do the damage sustained to the probe? A weapons assessment could be handy. Did the probe do anything to provoke that reaction? Or was there some noise elsewhere that spooked the male? It would help to know how likely these folks are to shoot us if we try to open relations.
>>
No. 442863 ID: 421c1e

No... seems to be a bit off to be a normal cylinder. The position is off. Could be something different, but we won't know.

If these folks are pretty much the same for thousands of years, we may have an advantage if we figure out how they work when things go.. hairy. After all, tradition does not work if the foes are adaptive. It's how many ancient powers fall after all.

Either way, next probe please?
>>
No. 443090 ID: c7db3d

no questions! I'm gonna fuck it.
>>
No. 443121 ID: 99090a

My best guess as to the cylinder on the pistol would be a magazine, as you suggested, since there doesn't seem to be any design features that indicate muzzleloading; It seems to be a early semiautomatic with a fluted barrel. However the lack of an ejection port is puzzling and unless they've developed and standardized caseless ammunition hundreds of years early, it can't be anything but a muzzleloader. In which case, then I would say the cylinder is simply a semi-exposed trigger group that is much further on the pistol than what we are used to.

The lack of a uniform and proper protection or tools on the male indicates that he's not of any kind of military force, and most likely a citizen. The fact that he has a firearm probably means that the government in this area is not totalitarian enough to forbid its citizenry from owning weapons. As long as they're not paranoid enough to shoot us on sight, first contact should be relatively simple; but we need to gather details about their society first.

What's the climate in this region? Temperatures, humidity, ect? Go ahead and move on, by the way.
>>
No. 443139 ID: bf54a8

yeah the jump before shooting indicates being nervous and then being spooked. it probably regretted it when it realized the probe was not the cause of the spooking.

and yeah anything on the second probe or did it land and nothing happen? at the moment it looks like they simply don't have long range boats so they just haven't reached the second continent yet.
>>
No. 443283 ID: b33427

>>443139
Is there audio to go with the video? Perhaps what spooked him could be determined from that. There'd also be more to analyze, after the lens was shot, from the audio track.

Could the probe have made a loud noise or done any other sudden action that would have startled him? A soil sampling arm, or something like that?

Could you tell if the probe was being moved before contact was lost? If so, in what direction. I'd like to know, for curiosity's sake, where it's most likely the parts of it will show up after it's disassembled for study.

Oh, and on that note, does the probe use a nuclear based power source? That'll cause some deaths by radiation poisoning when they crack it open. We'll want to remember to tell them that when we finally make diplomatic contact at some point. It might clear up what caused some odd deaths for them.

Also, about how tall are these aliens? Significantly shorter or taller than average humans? We could also roughly estimate their mass, based on their observed dimensions.

Did they speak, or open their mouths, at any time during the recording? ...Do they even have mouths? Are those beaks or ant-eater like snouts?
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