>>870728
Headpats will only make the situation better

DELIVER
ＨＥＡＤ ＰＡＴＳ

Give Brush.
Give Headpats.
Don't Give her any Ideas. Fail.

This together with what Golem butler has most likely reported to her is going to make the Kobold Empress even more interested in us.

>>870728
Thank the nice kobold for their service and apologize for the unfortunate mishap.

What is it with kobolds grabbing our dick with their tail?

>>870728
Well, fix it then, dummy!

Update 1/4 Gnuk 2018/03/22(Thu)13:54 No. 874933 ID: 3a0ac9
File 152175209770.jpg - (62.24KB , 600x650 , AMHQ143.jpg )

"HERE, I GOT IT FOR YOU"

Scrubber Kobold: "Mh? Oh!"

MMH WHAT DID MY BROTHER'S NOTES SAID ABOUT KOBOLDS?

AS DIPLOMACY GOES, WHEN FACING KOBOLDS, A FIRST-HAND APPROACH MIGHT BE NEEDED. WHILE THEIR BODIES MIGHT RESEMBLES HUMANS IN SHAPE, THEIR INSTICTS ARE TIED TO MORE ANIMALISTIC SIDES. THEREFORE, APPLYING YOUR OPEN PALM ON THEIR HEADS WITH REDUCED FORCE REPEATEDLY COULD RENDER THEM MORE APPROCHABLE FOR FUTURE ENCOUNTERS

Update 2/4 Gnuk 2018/03/22(Thu)14:00 No. 874934 ID: 3a0ac9
File 152175240067.jpg - (67.12KB , 600x650 , AMHQ144.jpg )

"DO NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, IT HAS NOT BEEN THE FIRST TIME. YOU ARE DOING AN EXCELLENT JOB, BUT IF YOU NEED ANY ASSISTANCE IN ANYTHING PLEASE FEEL FREE TO TELL ME. I WILL TRY MY BEST TO HELP OUT IN ANY WAY YOU NEED."

Update 4/4 Gnuk 2018/03/22(Thu)14:05 No. 874936 ID: 3a0ac9
File 152175270489.jpg - (82.80KB , 600x800 , AMHQ146.jpg )

Scrubber Kobold: "OH!UH!T-THANKSFORGETTINGTHEBRUSHSIRTHATWASREALLYNICEOFYOU"

Scrubber Kobold: "D-DOYOUWISHTOCONTINUETHETREATMENTORWOULDYOULIKETOTRYTHERESTOFTHETREATMENTS"

"UHM PLEASE SLOW DOWN I CAN'T FOLLOW WELL"

Scrubber Kobold: "Y-YES. SORRY. W-would you like to soak more in the coffins or w-would you like to try our massages? O-or the sauna? s-sir?"

let's try the sauna.

A Massage sounds good.

A massage would not be bad at all, gotta keep those muscles loose and ready for a fight!

Would a massage for the undead include massage oil that could be harmful to the living? Our mistress brought us back as lifelike as possible, with fake heartbeat, breathing and bodyheat. Wouldn't want to disturb her experiment.

Probably not. The type of oils used are pretty universal and most undead. (All that CAN get a massage) Are still composed of biological matter after all. Though I suppose certain types like Zombiea might take a formaldehyde bath after :P

Massage. Most certainly.

>>874936
Yes, I think perhaps I would like to try a massage, thank you.

Ideas given.
Go for body massage.

Suggestion 2018/03/23(Fri)02:48 No. 875115 ID: 555f33

A massage sounds nice.

>>874936
Your dying muscles could use a rub!

massage!

massage! I hope its some kind of multi arm deal.

We should ask this adorable little kobold if she does the massages too. She is just so damn cute when she is flustered!

First of all, we should ask her for her name.

And then I'd vote for a massage. Preferably one done by her.

>>874936
Well, she originally said:

>>845703
> Peppy Kobold: "Lady Konda? Mh! Yes! She came alongside Lady Skullkini! They are currently enjoying a set of relaxing massages. Unfortunately there is no slots available for that room at this right moment! BUT! Their treatment will then shift to the hot springs and then to the pedicure and foot reflexology parlor! You can take another treatment and then i can sign you up for the hot baths too!"

So, check with her about how long you might have until meeting up with Lady Konda in the hot baths, and then ask her if she could provide you with a massage until then, personally. And then, since she's already served you so well and since a massage is hard work (and might not normally be something she provides), ask her if she'd be willing to join you in the hot baths afterward for a relaxing soak. In fact, insist on it, that she get a break after all the wonderful service she's provided.

Update 1/4 Gnuk 2018/04/28(Sat)06:52 No. 881259 ID: ddd5e4
File 152492353839.jpg - (58.51KB , 1000x550 , AMHQ147.jpg )

"WELL THEN... UH. I HAVE JUST REALIZED I NEVER ASKED YOUR NAME. MY APOLOGIES."

Scrubber Kobold: "Uh? My name?"

"YES"

Scrubber Kobold: "I-it's Niwiss'Liss'Ik'Wijuju'Utshu'Ykk'ra'ewa."

"THAT'S... QUITE A MOUTHFUL..."

"ANYWAY! NIWISS'LI..."

Scrubber Kobold: "Niwiss'Liss'Ik'Wijuju'Utshu'Ykk'ra'ewa. But please feel free to call me Scrubber number 3 if you prefer, sir."

"WILL YOU BE THE ONE ADMINISTERING THE MASSAGE?"

Scrubber Kobold: "W-WHAT?! N-no sir! I'm... i'm just a humble scrubber. The massages will be done by our specialist."

"I SEE! WHERE DO I GO THEN?"

Scrubber Kobold: "That's a mouthful"

"MH?"

Scrubber Kobold: "OUT OF HERE, GO ON THE RIGHT. Th-third door. I'll grab your bathrobe s-s-sir"

"YES! THANK YOU!"

Update 2/4 Gnuk 2018/04/28(Sat)06:56 No. 881262 ID: ddd5e4
File 152492376382.jpg - (59.31KB , 700x550 , AMHQ148.jpg )

THIS SHOULD BE THE PLACE. I THINK? THERE IS NO ONE AROUND

"HELLO?"

???: "OH! YES? Hello! Welcome are you here for the massages?"

OH A VOICE FROM BEYOND THE CURTAINS. AT LEAST SOMEONE IS HERE.

"YES. IS THIS THE RIGHT ROOM?"

???: "Indeed! I'll be with you in a second, sir."

???: "Please make yourself comfortable while i prepare the oils"

Update 3/4 Gnuk 2018/04/28(Sat)06:57 No. 881263 ID: ddd5e4
File 152492386229.jpg - (44.08KB , 600x550 , AMHQ149.jpg )

"UUHM... SURE... WHERE THOUGH? I DON'T SEE A BED TO LIE ON"

???: "I don't have any use for them, sir. My massages tend to be..."

Update 4/4 Gnuk 2018/04/28(Sat)06:59 No. 881265 ID: ddd5e4
File 152492399141.jpg - (80.80KB , 750x550 , AMHQ150.jpg )

???: "thorough

>>881265
QUICK TRUST FALL EXERCISE!

>>881265
Shed your cloth and embrace what's about to happen.

>>881267

Ah, you see! It's the masseuse itself that will be acting as the bed! How... quaint!

>>881265

Well, for some inexplicable reason surely related to sorceries beyond your meager understanding, your muscles do happen to be in sudden need of a good untensing.

Tell them that you made a mistake. Actually you really feel like visiting sauna right now.

Well. This promises to get wierd.

Close your eyes and don't open them til it's over.

>>881265
"...BE GENTLE."

We might want to skip this. They could damage our undead mask and the ruse would be ruined.

>>881265
"Ah, you look quite capable. Keep away from my head and neck, please; the magic is quite fragile.
I admit, I've never encountered one such as you before. Care to tell me about yourself?"

>>875446
>>881265
Jackpot

This just got weird... Alright then... I suppose an eldritch entity would know best. Let’s do this.

"Ah. Not too thorough, please, I do need to be available to my mistress as soon as she's done with her own treatments."

>>881265
Ah, excellent, a thorough massage sounds much better than the alternative.

>>881265
RUN AWAY

>>881265
"ALRIGHT." I'm sure nothing untoward will happen. After all, if they were to try anything their giant exposed eye would be right there!

k what do we do with our bathrobe?

By thorough surely they mean entirely external and completely professional, right?

>>881265
Better hope they're gentle. Your bones aren't getting any more limber!

>>881265
"While your dedication is admirable, I am not interested in a full-body massage at this time, uh...I'm sorry, I am uncertain how to address you."

>>881265
We can consider this as endurance training. Surely, our Knightly physique can handle this.

keep your disguise on!