Madildo 2016/02/23(Tue)08:27 No. 704764 ID: 0d5092
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Criminal scum are living their criminal lives, making a living by causing pain and fear to lawful citizens. But not for long.
Soon they will know the weight of their sins. Justice will be served.

Madildo 2016/02/23(Tue)08:27 No. 704765 ID: 0d5092
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Chief: "Johnson, you... *sigh* You've got a murder case. Now get the hell out of my office and don't show your face in my office without permission ever again".

Madildo 2016/02/23(Tue)08:27 No. 704766 ID: 0d5092
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The name's Doe. John B. Doe. Detective. Of hard-boiled variety.

Madildo 2016/02/23(Tue)08:27 No. 704767 ID: 0d5092
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Officer: "Good evening, detective. Well, not that good for her. Victim's name is Anna Sophie Diana Maria Louise Bertha Johnson."
Jack: "I can clearly see one body. Where's the rest?"
Officer: "The rest?"
Jack: "You said there were six victims".
Officer: "I never said there were six victims. There is only one".
Jack: "So, we have to find the rest five corpses? Interesting case".
Officer: "Oh, my gosh. Anna Sophie Diana Maria Louise Bertha Johnson is an one person".
Jack: "I knew that".
Officer: *sigh* "The victim has been strangled. The body was found at 9:36 PM by a butcher. He's still in his shop if you want to talk to him. Go ahead, do your job, detective".

Well I guess we should investigate the body first. Now remember they told you she was strangulated. That means there is about a five percent chance she was actually strangled to death.

>>704768
After you're done with the body, check the area for fingerprints. Especially that ladder; you'll want to find a way up the building without disturbing any fingerprints.

>>704767
It's an old lady. She probably just had a heart attack.

>four armed four eyes chief
Yes please.

>>704767
Was anything found on her person? (If she's got no purse, money, or jewelry, this might be a robbery).

>> Smells like noir
Like whisky, rain and cheap cigarettes, the best smell in the world.

Look at the body, look at it but don't pay attention, let your noir detective intuition and guts tell you what happen. What do you see?

Madildo 2016/02/23(Tue)10:23 No. 704786 ID: 0d5092
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I don't even need to look at the body to understand that it was a murder. Damn those criminal scum! ...I don't see any valuables on her. The wallet's gone too. Looks like a robbery to me.

Madildo 2016/02/23(Tue)10:23 No. 704787 ID: 0d5092
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She looks old, strangled and dead. The marks on her neck look like they were caused by some kind of chain.

(animated) Madildo 2016/02/23(Tue)10:25 No. 704790 ID: 0d5092
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Sparkle time. I love my job.

Madildo 2016/02/23(Tue)10:26 No. 704791 ID: 0d5092
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Dog footprints. A lot. A handprint on the ladder. Some piss in the corner.

>>704791
She had a heart attack. She held on to the ladder to steady herself before she fell. She was wearing a bacon necklace and a dog tried to eat it, causing the marks as it ripped the necklace off.

Also, bacon in her wallet.

Check the footprints, see if there were more than two entities there. Also, check the dumpster.

Then get a photocopy of the handprints. Looks like they were using the ladder as a handrail, or if they were trying to climb then they didn't get far.

That strangle mark looks like a square sine wave. But why?

>>704792
Additionally, the heart attack was due to her love of bacon. Clogged arteries.

Suggestion 2016/02/23(Tue)10:46 No. 704795 ID: 3d2d5f

>>704790
Haha, what.

Get someone to lift prints from that handprint.

Could she have been walking a dog when she died?

>>704791
What's on the dumpster?

Maybe she was walking her dog, and the chain leash got wrapped around her neck and killed her?

>>704807
Doesn't explain the missing wallet.
Though I guess some bum could have come by after the fact and stolen it.

What kind of dog pawprints?

>>704807
...Actually, that's not a terrible idea. But maybe the murderer strangled her WITH her dog-on-a-leash to disguise their trail?

Nah man, the obvious conclusion is that the woman was out walking her precious pet when it turned on her. There is now a homicidal pooch loose in our city, and we are not going to let it run rampant.

Madildo 2016/02/27(Sat)05:51 No. 705882 ID: 6cd30d
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>She had a heart attack.
There is a photo in her bag. Apparently, she was a pro wrestler. She must have been one tough cookie.

>She was wearing a bacon necklace.
Bacon has been illegal in the country for 10 years after the bacon incident that took over 500 lives. That day I lost not only my breakfast, but also my partner.

>Check the footprints, see if there were more than two entities there.
There are a lot of them. I can't even tell my own footprints apart from the others right now.

Madildo 2016/02/27(Sat)05:52 No. 705883 ID: 6cd30d
File 145658112768.png - (11.66KB , 800x700 , dumpster.png )

>Also, check the dumpster.
Garbage. Vomit. Smells like dinner mixed with poopies, alcohol and cheap cigarettes. Kinda nice. Except the poopie part.

>Then get a photocopy of the handprints.
Taken. Professionally.

If she was walking a dog, the butcher might have seen it. Maybe I should talk to him.

Yeah go ahead and do that. Later we might look up her trainer if we start running low on leads.

>>705883
Yes, go question butcher.

Madildo 2016/02/28(Sun)03:06 No. 706074 ID: 6cd30d
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Butcher: "Detective".
Jack: "Nice place you've got here".
Butcher: "Yeah, thanks".
Jack: "Now tell me what you know".
Butcher: "Anna is... was a loyal customer. She had been buying steaks from me for almost 20 years. She was a very ni-"
Jack: "Straight to the point. How did you find the body?"
Butcher: "I was cleaned up the place like every other day. And when I was taking out the trash, I found her, lying there..."

>>706074
That's nice. Now, did you come into contact with anything while you were staring at the body, or did you immediately call 911? If you tried CPR on her, we would like to know now.

Also, if there is anything disturbing that could help our case but you do not want to be made public, we highly suggest you write it down, and then we'll place your testimony in a sealed locker, to only be utilized if the case cannot continue any further or if you are threatened by the case.

>>706074
Had she already been in today?

Had Anna said or done anything unusual in the days or weeks before this? Any notable change from the pattern you would have expected over the years you knew her? Did she confide in you about any trouble she was in?

Did she have a dog?

Madildo 2016/02/29(Mon)00:49 No. 706218 ID: 6cd30d
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Jack: "Now, did you come into contact with anything while you were staring at the body, or did you immediately call 911?"
Butcher: "No, did not touch anything. Nor tried to help her... Maybe she was alive, and it is my fault that she is dead now. I was scared. Dead scared. Her face... I just can't get it out of my mi-"
Jack: "Did you immediately call 911?"
Butcher: "Yeah..."
Jack: "Had she already been in today?"
Butcher: "No".
Jack: "Any notable change from the pattern you would have expected over the years you knew her?"
Butcher: "Everything was the same as usual".
Jack: "Did she have a dog?"
Butcher: "Yes. For about 2 weeks she had been coming with that little satan".
Jack: "Is there anything else that could help me crack this case open?"
Butcher: "I have a security camera outside my shop. Maybe it recorded something that will help".

Request to view the footage.

>that little satan
A little harsh, what did it do to deserve being called that?

Madildo 2016/02/29(Mon)04:40 No. 706230 ID: 6cd30d
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Jack: "A little harsh, what did it do to deserve being called that?"
Butcher: "One time it peed on the showcase, other times it would just bite my face off, when I tried petting it. That's why I never liked the dog".

Madildo 2016/02/29(Mon)04:40 No. 706231 ID: 6cd30d
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Butcher: "There she goes. Still lively and-"
Jack: "ENHANCE!"
Butcher: "Ok, pal. There is no reason to yel-"
Jack: "ENHANCE!!"

Madildo 2016/02/29(Mon)04:40 No. 706232 ID: 6cd30d
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It would seem that it was dog's initiative to go into a dark alley.

Madildo 2016/02/29(Mon)04:41 No. 706233 ID: 6cd30d
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So the butcher is the only person to go near the alley after the victim.

Madildo 2016/02/29(Mon)04:41 No. 706234 ID: 6cd30d
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He DID call 911 immediately. Looks like there is a murderous piece of fur walking the streets of my city. Should I inform patrols about that or keep quite until I know for sure?

So there is no sign of the dog leaving the alley? We should check that ladder more closely since it would be the dogs only egress from the crime scene. Let's be a little more certain of the situation before we alert the boys.

Check earlier footage, before the murder. Make sure there's no one who enters the alley and never leaves.

The murderer could have staked out the alley, lured the dog into dragging his master over with meat or a treat, killed her, and then escaped up the ladder.

Whatever the dog did, you need to capture them soon for evidence. Request all nearby patrols to keep a lookout for the dog for the next 24 hours, it might not have gone far.

Madildo 2016/02/29(Mon)10:33 No. 706267 ID: 6cd30d
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>Check earlier footage, before the murder. Make sure there's no one who enters the alley and never leaves.
A few men and women entered the alley, but every single one of them left. Noone really caught my eye. And I know a criminal scum when I see one.

>Request all nearby patrols to keep a lookout for the dog for the next 24 hours, it might not have gone far.
Jack: "Attention all units, a dog near 34 Evershady Street went missing. Keep an eye out for it".
Radio: "Can you give dog's description?"
Jack: "Described as little satan. Appears to be a chihuahua".
Radio: "Roger, could you pass the ketc-"
Radio: "Do you guys want to get fired?"
Radio: "Sorry about that".
Radio: "We'll keep an eye out for a dog".

>We should check that ladder more closely since it would be the dogs only egress from the crime scene.
Nothing new on the ladder. If the dog did not use the ladder, nor just walked out the alley, the only way out would be the fence. But could a little dog climb a fence this high? I'd say that the murderer is a chihuahua that can fly. Last time I saw a flying dog, I lost my partner.

Well I guess it's a good thing you never got a new partner to lose then. What's on the other side of the fence. We should probably start considering motive just to have some guesses. Why would a flying chihuahua turn on its owner after two weeks and why would it steal the wallet? Do people commonly sell things to dogs?

>>706267
Climb the ladder, see what there is to see.

Go up the ladder.

Madildo 2016/03/13(Sun)07:17 No. 708824 ID: 647d25
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Felt like if I was climbing that ladder for all eternity.
The door doesn't look good. Might be a burglar. Guess, I have to investigate it.

Madildo 2016/03/13(Sun)07:18 No. 708825 ID: 647d25
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It's dark. The atmosphere doesn't feel very welcomi- HOLY MOTHER OF TOMATOES

>>708826

Might want to radio in for backup, buddy.

>>708826
You found a suspect covered in blood, surrounded by bodies.

Weapon up, now. If he does anything other than immediately surrender to custody, start shooting.

And use your other hand to grab your radio and call for backup now.

Aim your weapon SLOWLY in one hand and call for backup with the other. You'll want a S.W.A.T. team or even some Elite Mercenary Troops on police payroll to take this guy out.

Also, I think he's not the ONLY one here...

STAND STILL.

He can't see you if you don't move.

Tell him to FREEZE.

Madildo 2016/03/14(Mon)02:04 No. 709109 ID: c49338
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Jack: "All units, requesting back-up at 34 Evershady. NOW!"

Madildo 2016/03/14(Mon)02:04 No. 709110 ID: c49338
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a)shoot
b)shoot and tell him to freeze
c)not shoot and tell him to freeze
d)not shoot

>>709110
c, then a, as per police protocol.

B!

>>709115
Yup.

>>709110

The dog's taken on a humanoid gait and is calmly walking towards someone with a gun pointed at them. It is covered in blood and gore and there's plenty of evidence that it is hellishly strong and quite fast.

Going to go out on a limb and say it's time to start shooting.

oh no it's the chihuahua

Sit! Stay!

...Bad Dog! *Bang bang bang!*

Madildo 2016/03/15(Tue)07:37 No. 709438 ID: 1794bb
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Jack: "Freeze! *BANG* Or I'll *BANG* shoot!" *BANG*

Madildo 2016/03/15(Tue)07:37 No. 709439 ID: 1794bb
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People say that before death, life flashes before your eyes.

Madildo 2016/03/15(Tue)07:37 No. 709440 ID: 1794bb
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Yes, I think I see... I see...

Madildo 2016/03/15(Tue)07:38 No. 709441 ID: 1794bb
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A F***ING DOG EATING MY ARM

>>709441
Hey, think of it this way: we now have ripe opportunity for a dope-ass robot arm. Let this motivate you to kick his dog asshole.
Or uh, I guess punch it for now at least

You still holding onto the gun? Yes, then shoot. No? PUNCH LIKE THERES NO TOMORROW!

Put that thing's head in a door jamb and go to town

>>709441

If you have the gun, AIM AT DOG (press gun to dog head for maximum aiming optional), then shoot its brains out.

No gun; use ADRENALINE-FUELED MORTAL FEAR to roll away, run for the exit and roof ladder and, knowing that descent with 1x arm is a suboptimal move, jump for the dumpster, which will hopefully cushion your fall as it is open and full of domestic garbage.

>>709460
This,do this

Madildo 2016/03/15(Tue)11:23 No. 709470 ID: 1794bb
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Jack: "This body is no for sale, asshole!" *BANG*

Madildo 2016/03/15(Tue)11:23 No. 709473 ID: 1794bb
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Hello darkness, my old friend...

This must be the work of an enemy stand!

If only the protagonist were John B Joe. JoDo kindof works though...

>>709473
SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION

Madildo 2016/03/17(Thu)09:03 No. 709878 ID: 1794bb
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Doctor: "How many fingers do you see?"

Five because I'm missing a hand.

Madildo 2016/03/17(Thu)09:50 No. 709885 ID: 1794bb
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Jack: "Five because I'm missing a hand".
Doctor: "Looks like you have not lost your sense of humor. That's good. So, how are you feeling?"
Jack: "Like a pirate".
Doctor: "Very good, considering that you had been in a coma for 2 weeks... And about the pirate thing. Your left hand was replaced with the finest piece of augmentation technology".

...Look at your hand

Ask if your augmented limb can disable a suspect who is able to catch bullets at point blank.

Madildo 2016/03/17(Thu)10:56 No. 709894 ID: 1794bb
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>Ask if your augmented limb can disable a suspect who is able to catch bullets at point blank.
I have serious doubts about that

Doctor: "It will grow with time, just don't forget to water it at least once a week".

>>709894
2 weeks huh? Ask if the dog's killed anyone else.

>>709894
...I feel like I should have sprung for something better than a bargain basement health plan, now.

Do you know if my colleagues managed to close the case while I was out? Is the suspect still at large?