Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)19:27 No. 324896 ID: 543375
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Stanching a slight cut seems a little extreme.... Buuuuut.... Ok.

Mack presses his finger against the hand rail outside that is hot enough to fry an egg.

>Mack: "Uh-uh. No way."

Mack presses his finger against the hand rail outside that is hot enough to fry an egg.

>Mack: "Fuck no."

Mack presses his finger against the hand rail outside that is hot enough to fry an egg.

>Mack: "I don't wanna."

Mack pressed his finger against the hand rail outside that is hot enough to fry an egg.

>Mack: "Ow! Now it's gonna blister."

Yes... Yes... Harness your anger... Your hate...

>>324896
Oh shit, the narrator is evil!

Whatever, just go... I can't take this wanton license abuse...

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)19:37 No. 324898 ID: 543375
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The General Lee is parked outside, It's a marvelous beauty from a distance. The closer you get the more it looks like a spay painted Honda Civic with a Confederate Flag drawn on top with a bunch of sharpies. Some hippy is trying to put a flyer on the windshield. he can tell he's a hippie because he knows when he sees a hippy. Is it Hippie or Hippy?

>>324898
Sneak up behind him and whisper in his ear "The south will rise again."

>>324887

See, that right there? Good time to spend a point on a reroll. Four -s, fuck me.

>>324898
Shout angrily at the hippie.

>>324898
It's hippie. Also yell at him to keep his damn flyer to himself.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/10(Sun)21:19 No. 324932 ID: 543375
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>Word Fighting Result: Fantastic!(+-++N)+2 for invoking Aspect, i hates them hippies1

Mack skulk up behind the hippy and suddenly bellows angrily into his ear, startling the hippie. His words cut like a dull knife on a finger. It stings like a mother fucker but doesn't accomplish much.

Turns out it's a meter maid and he says he still has to write the ticket once he's started in melancholic tone. Despite his stoic expression you've still wounded him and he's lost a slight bit of his composure and his cheap ball point pen as he wanders off to find yet more cars parked in a red zone.

>Obtained cheap Bic pen. It's slightly chewed on and is missing a cap. It seems to work.

Time to get in the car.

>>324932
Honk the horn like you always do.

>>324932
VICTORY AT WAR!

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)02:05 No. 324978 ID: 543375
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Mack would love nothing more than to hop in and toot his magnificent novelty horn, but alas it's seemed he's locked his keys in the car. And tack welded the doors shut last night for the whole stock car experience sans the roll cage and the AC still works.

And the windows are up.

>>324978
Jack the car door open very slightly with a crowbar or something and then use a use a coathanger to lift-

>tack welded.

You dumbass.

Break someones window and steal their car.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)02:37 No. 324981 ID: 543375
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>Mack: "I ain't no thief."

Mack would never steal a car willingly. But he could just as easily break into his. Let's check Mack's Inventory really quick. What can we use?

>>324981
Well obviously you shoot it, bub.

>>324981
Obviously, use the gun's GRIP to smash the windows.

If you need me, I"ll be over hear banging my head against my desk over the fact that we failed to make "Common Sense" and "Not a dumbass" aspects...

...what's that thing in the middle?

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)07:20 No. 325025 ID: 543375
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Mack can think of several reasons not to use the gun to break into a car. Most of which involve State gun control laws.

Put we do have a handy dandy opening device right here. Let's put away out gumshoe writing utensils for a bit and take out the special skeleton key.

>crash!

The Spark Plug easily smashes the window. A quick glance around shows that there aren't any cops except the meter maid who rolling his eyes at you. Dramatically. Mack casually discards the spark plug.

undiscard that spark plug! you don't have a lighter, so you'll need that to light your cigarettes.

you don't seem to have cigarettes either. make a note on your license to buy some.

Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)07:58 No. 325029 ID: 543375
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You can't light a cigarette with a spark plug! or at least you're not sure how.

Besides, that wasn't a spark plug. That was a skeleton key. unlocks any door with a window. And it's kind of broken anyway.

Mack makes a little note to pick up cigarette and a lighter as well and climbs in. The car starts despite being poorly taken care of and the horn beeps an enthusiastic but mono-tone version of Dixie, or at least if it would if he could afford the Dukes of Hazzard Novelty Horn. This one plays the Mexican Hat Dance.

The radio come one...

>Radio: "This is tom Brokav with a speshial report. San Diego, California. A Man in his fifties goes tot he doctor and says: "Doc, I'm having trouble pleasing my wife." to which the doctor replies "You should try the power of fantasy. Hire a sexy young stud to stand above you while making love. Make sure he's totally naked and spinning a towel over you two as you hav sex." So with the young escort in tow the man comes home to his hot, young trophy wife and they enter their bedroom with the stud.

>The Next day the man goes back to the doctor and tells him that is didn't work. The doctor then suggests that he let the oung stud have sex with his wife as he swings the towel. And so he does, and while his wife is having sex with the hot young stud she has her most powerful release ever, two which the man replies to the escort: "Ya see! That's how you swing a towel.

I'm Tom Brokav and this is NBC news."

>>325029
Lol, funny guy. Also New Bonus Objective: Acquire novelty spark plug lighter.

Elephant Guy 2011/07/11(Mon)08:35 No. 325033 ID: ec07dd
File 131039854565.jpg - (47.18KB , 131x132 , iseewhatyoudidtheregriffin.jpg )

>>325029

that's a Turkish joke. fucking Americans stealing our jokes.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)09:13 No. 325042 ID: 543375
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Some other stuff about budget cuts and what not from Obama comes on. Mack just changes it to a Boz Scaggs cassette and punches it like a bat out of hell.

>Driving Result: Good

He doesn't clip any innocent pedestrians this time.

Elsewhere...

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)09:32 No. 325045 ID: 543375
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Our Damsel is in Distress! She's trying to fill out her license but she can't think of what else she's able to do. Also she's not sure who filled out her aspects. But she does have some nice legs, er "Gams."

Elephant Guy 2011/07/11(Mon)10:27 No. 325059 ID: eee669
File 131040522238.jpg - (81.72KB , 1024x768 , gymnastics.jpg )

let's get some gymnastics up in this bitch.

she's also good at, uh, siphoning fuel and other similar actions.

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)10:36 No. 325065 ID: 543375
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>Dame: S-Siphon-n-n-n-n-ning?

She looks flustered.

>Dame: It's e-embarrass-s-s-sing, but I-I admit. I'm p-pretyy fair at automotive r-repairs I- I guess. And g-gymnastics.

>>325065
Don't forget fair at HOT SEXINGS.

And Quantum physics. AND BOTH SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)10:44 No. 325071 ID: 543375
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>Dame: S-sex!? I-I-I'm a v-!

She stops.

>Dame: I'm not that kind of g-girl! No! P-please don't put that down! I-I-...

How many more double entendres can we cram in this bitch? Ha! Ha! Cram.

fine, be a virgin.

but you're good at handjobs regardless, due to many hours of training with Shake Weights.

>>325072
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Shake weights.

Also, a decent BOXER.

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)11:03 No. 325083 ID: 543375
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Let's just hurry this along.


All we need now are some stunts.

>>325083
Can punch a man's kidneys through his spine.

>>325083
Stuttering blushsplosion
I'm cute forgive me
Hidden genius
Where was she even hiding that gun

>>325083
*Half-truths
*SCIENCE~! (and making gizmos from nothing :P)

I second MacGyverisms at full force.

>>325095
MACGYVER! WOO!

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)11:54 No. 325097 ID: 543375
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Damsel: "That's... okay I guess. I better not show it to anyone though..."

Quickly she photocopies the license in triplicate, laminates the original and stores it in a fireproof safe, keeping one of the duplicates with her.

>>325097
....I'm in love. Now, WAIT HERE. HOT DICKINGS Detective Mack is coming your way.

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/11(Mon)12:21 No. 325101 ID: 543375
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That's right! Mack is coming over! Now she's all flustered. She forgot she sent that letter. Panic time! Oh no! What should she wear? She can't see him in this strapless bathing suit! It's not professional!

>>325101
Lady. All your clothing is held on with duct tape. Also, I don't think Mack will care.

Wear that patriotic outfit.

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/14(Thu)11:00 No. 326321 ID: 543375
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>Damsel: "Now what?"

warm up, if you catch my drift.

Find the cure for zombie AIDS.

Find the cure for DEATH.

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/14(Thu)19:16 No. 326428 ID: 543375
File 131069619126.png - (33.90KB , 914x580 , 4.png )

>Damsel: "Warm Up? A few stretches wouldn't hurt I guess."

Damsel attempts to do a few leg stretches

>Medicine Result: Mediocre (----)

She looses her balance and falls face forward, almost bumping her head and knocks over a couple glass beakers.

>Damsel "Eek!"

She lies on her back for a few seconds.

>Damsel: "Maybe I should do something else to get ready for Mack."

(-1 Composure)

>>326428
Careful, did you spill any of that stuff that was in the beakers on you?

>>326428
Is Professor your first name? Also, what the hell do you see in Mack seriously. He is a crazed supernaturally seductive maniac.

Prof. Damsel Suggestion 2011/07/15(Fri)02:54 No. 326538 ID: 543375
File 131072365801.png - (60.93KB , 914x580 , 4.png )

>Careful, did you spill any of that stuff that was in the beakers on you?

>Damsel: "N-no! Well.. A-a little bit of acid on the license"

>Is Professor your first name? Also, what the hell do you see in Mack seriously. He is a crazed supernaturally seductive maniac.

>Damsel: "My n-name is Damsel, b-b-ut I'm a p-professor of s-science at B-Berkley. I-I teach Theoretical N-nuclear Physics and P-pottery. A-and Mack has always b-been there for m-me a-and I-I... W-well, he's smarter than h-he looks you know?"

Meanwhile in the General Lee... Suggestion 2011/07/15(Fri)02:57 No. 326539 ID: 543375
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>Mack: "Come one you little fucker... come on! I almost got- Yes! Gotcha you little bastard!"

Item added to inventory: Treasure.

wipe that shit off somewhere you disgusting fuck.

Mack Suggestion 2011/07/15(Fri)18:43 No. 326662 ID: 543375
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>Mack: "Alright, alright. Quit riding my ass. God damn."