Dartagnan 2010/05/20(Thu)22:42 No. 180582 ID: 2d4c9a
File 127442056576.jpg - (35.88KB , 258x287 , luna.jpg )

This is Luna.

Hi Luna.

Dartagnan 2010/05/20(Thu)22:44 No. 180584 ID: 2d4c9a
File 127442069671.gif - (93.51KB , 286x263 , distress.gif )

A distress call has come in. Protocol states that you should tell Luna right away, However, she is currently in the shower. Perhaps you should wait?

>>180582
As if that wasn't obvious.

>>180584
Is there an intercom or something?

What is the nature of the distress? If it's really urgent...

>>180584
We should tell Luna right away! A distress call is more Important than her shower.

Yes, while she may get a little upset she will forgive us. because we are her friend.

>>180584
Much more important than her shower. Quickly, we must inform her.

If you have a recording unit, make sure it's on. We can sell the video on the net for more funds for the business.

She'll be so proud.

Dartagnan 2010/05/20(Thu)22:54 No. 180594 ID: 2d4c9a
File 127442126336.jpg - (21.64KB , 286x263 , Fidoflip.jpg )

Luna broke the intercom. She is too lazy to fix it. You decide that perhaps the distress call overrides her need for privacy.

Dartagnan 2010/05/20(Thu)22:59 No. 180597 ID: 2d4c9a
File 12744215648.jpg - (43.89KB , 287x360 , showersk copy.jpg )

Luna does not appear to be in an amiable mood. You wish you were more Luna-proof.

>>180597

Start taking some HD .jpegs there, robot.

Then relay message.

Surely the net popularity from the video will improve her mood.

>>180599
>HD
>.jpegs

unicodestare.png

Regardless, photographic documented proof of this encounter is required.

>>180597
Inform her of urgent call

While taking HD film, no recording light.

Dartagnan 2010/05/20(Thu)23:18 No. 180617 ID: 2d4c9a
File 127442269390.jpg - (38.51KB , 444x224 , showerHD.jpg )

Despite your better judgment, you begin recording.
While recording, you relay the distress call. It is from Vega-10, an Emtech research station near the planet P-51-3. The beacon does not state the nature of the emergency. It seems automated.

Damnit why didn oh well, go out again as not to appear suspicious~

>>180617

Yessssssss.

>>180617
"What will you do, Miss Lenn?"

Dartagnan 2010/05/21(Fri)00:02 No. 180638 ID: 2d4c9a
File 127442536861.jpg - (45.16KB , 500x500 , uhoh.jpg )

Despite recording in a non-apparent manner, Luna seems to know.

Perhaps you should run maintenance, it seems some of your AI has become corrupt/faulty.

"BAD DOG!"

Luna is not at all pleased. She seems to ignore the relayed beacon and instead disciplines you for your indiscretion.

Alright alright we'll run maintenance, tell Luna. It'll at least give us something to do while she finishes.

>>180638
Damn REC light.

No, nothings wrong with the AI. At least we don't have pain receptors.

Note to self: Next time we record something, make sure light stays off.

more likely she was angry that we looked at her then knowing we were recording.

>>180638

We are NOT a dog. We are a highly sophisticated machine!

...that happens to like the ladies.

>>180659
That's like the cutest pause image ever!

>>180659
- jumpsuit
- wacky haircut
- flying robot assistant
- bounty-hunter

Hell yes, a pulp-scifi quest!

Dartagnan 2010/05/21(Fri)23:10 No. 181144 ID: f06c3d
File 127450860980.jpg - (56.64KB , 500x500 , blowdry.jpg )

You right yourself, running maintenance while you begin to explain that you are not a canine, that you are in fact not even organic in nature...

Luna ignores you.

" Vega-10? Emtech... Assistance isn't usually my thing, but Emtech... They'll pay big to someone who saved their ass! All that cash-!"

She pauses her primping for a moment, looking thoughtful.

" We could probably even outfit you a bit with the reward, you know, something useful- like a blow-dryer function... What do you think Fido?"

i was think more along the lines of a laser, but whatever you say luna.

>>181146
hairdryer is good, we get to see more of her nude.

>>181144
"A weaponized plasma jet might be more prudent, madame."

We could use a hairdryer as an extra propulsion system. ...or a propulsion system as a hairdryer. Just turn it way down low.

>>181154

Or something that shoots laser beams. Or missiles.

Or missiles with laser beams.

Bark in agreement

Dartagnan 2010/05/22(Sat)00:52 No. 181177 ID: f06c3d
File 127451472995.jpg - (65.02KB , 500x500 , options.jpg )

You suggest that a modest laser beam may be of use.

Luna laughs at you.

She seems to be thinking.

"Blow-Dryer it is! Now, enough chit-chat Fido, set the coordinates, I'd like to do this quickly. Vega-10 is full of limp-noodle scientists,right? So what do you think the emergency could be?"

>>181177
"Some sort of scientific experiment gone horribly wrong... or horribly right, as the case may be. I seriously suggest preparing oneself against radiation. terrible for the skin, you know. Also, in the case of terrible abominations against nature, we should enter armed and dangerous."

Probably an experiment run loose.

yes, too much radiation causes premature wrinkles. and yes it is probably a thing they made is now loose so a gun may be prudent.

Space Gangsters. They're breaking into the labs and holding all the scientists hostage with ray guns, forcing them to brew up new Space Drugs. Or possibly rebuild their leader as a cyborg. But the answer to give is clear: "Scientists always wish to discuss research. Bring technical manuals and study up."

>>181188
no no no, telling her to read some books is a bad move, we'll handle the science mumbo-jumbo due to being a robot, possibly with access to space internet.

>Blow Dryer upgrade

This woman is trying my patience.

>>181188
This is awesome and I hope it happens.

i am hoping science dudes give us a laser for free, even luna wouldn't pass up free things

Dartagnan 2010/05/22(Sat)01:52 No. 181211 ID: f06c3d
File 127451836898.jpg - (55.12KB , 500x500 , hazardsuit.jpg )

You Relay your theories, Experiments, space gangsters... You also suggest that she protect herself against the possibility of Radiation.

Luna thinks your advice over before going to rummage through the storage bay.

"Um, I guess I shouldn't have put off upgrading my caution gear...this thing is ancient. Do you think it'll still protect my skin?"

Yeah. Looks hot, too.

>>181211
From what, a nuke? Yes.

You should also bring a ray gun just in case. The one with the little rings floating around the antenna at the front. That one really matches that outfit.

perhaps as a bonus to the money they will give us the latest in hazardous handling equipment, will probably come in standard lab white but a nice coat of paint would fix that.

Tell her that would be impractical and get her into something form fitting and skimpy.

>>181262
or get her to wear nothing at all
nothing at all
nothing at all

>>181262
>>181264
she put that on because we told her about the risk of radiation, being retarded and contradicting ourselves is going to make her kick us some more.

>>181265
Nothing at all
Nothing at all
Nothing at all

also suggest a laser hair dryer

Start recording again and tell her that somewhere, someone on the interspacenet is masturbating to this.

Suggestion 2010/05/22(Sat)13:19 No. 181322 ID: 242766
File 12745595588.png - (42.43KB , 725x212 , schlock20030318.png )

>>181296
>female bountyhunter
You suddenly gave me horrible insight about possible enemies.

We should, seriously, before leaving, make sure she didn't leave her curling iron plugged in, or the stove on, or the faucet running. Space travel takes a while and we DO work for the sort of person prone to these things.

Dartagnan 2010/05/22(Sat)22:43 No. 181623 ID: 85fbf0
File 127459338750.jpg - (44.29KB , 500x500 , fido2.jpg )

YOu tell luna that...

You can't really come to a decision and instead opt for silence.

Your Maintenance program has completed it's check of your AI systems - YOUR ART-INTEL STATUS: JACKED-

Luna will most definitely not pay for repairs. You will have to learn to adapt to your AI's contradictory and conflicting protocols.

Luna tries to move about in the Hazard suit.

She Falls.
She curses.
She changes.

when she comes back out tell her 'most unfortunate, perhaps we will be able to procure a much more streamlined suit on site?'

She'll probably be OK without radiation shielding. All that's really important is that her skin is covered, she's got an awesome bubble helmet, and seriously, the little raygun with the rings. Just avoid that orange number from the opening screen. A neckline like that is TOTALLY a slime magnet.

>>181641

And a miniskirt. Standard issue for female spacefarers in the Pulp Fiction days.

Well yeah. Gotta have a miniskirt. With a hoop in it so it flares way out despite going down to mid-thigh at most. They provide... stabilization. For sudden shifts in and out of gravity.

>>181653

Right.

Stabilization.

And pantyshots.

Dartagnan 2010/05/23(Sun)01:32 No. 181703 ID: 85fbf0
File 127460357595.jpg - (76.10KB , 500x700 , imtired.jpg )

"Damn it Fido! You neglected my laundry!"

Luna storms out of her room. She seems angry.

She sits on you. Your humiliation seems to make her happier...

The ship indicates that you are nearing Vega-10 and ready to dock.

start docking procedure and be a little into S&M so her sitting on you actually makes you kinda happy as well.

Pan camera upwards.

>>181703
Well, well.

Commence docking procedures.

Pan camera upwards.

Commence docking procedures.

Then dock with Vega-10.

>>181710
>>181710
>>181710
>>181710
>>181710
>>181710
>>181710

Yeah, wait for Luna to stand up, then interface with the ship's engine controls, make sure we don't crash, make sure the airlock connects, make sure she doesn't go scampering out before pressure equalizes, make sure she doesn't lock the keys inside, and time allowing pick that bulky radiation suit off the ground, fold it up, and put it back in the closet. Don't want anyone tripping over that.

Dartagnan 2010/05/24(Mon)21:00 No. 182567 ID: db9184
File 127476002140.png - (206.74KB , 500x500 , awesome.png )

You avoid any action that might further enrage Luna. Self preservation protocol.

You do however make certain the docking procedures are carried out safely.

You find that Vega-10 has no readable levels of radiation and is safe, atmospherically speaking.

Luna grabs her Ray gun and enters.

Dartagnan 2010/05/24(Mon)21:02 No. 182570 ID: db9184
File 127476012612.png - (126.49KB , 500x500 , spacepirates.png )

After Luna's pose she realizes...

"Oh, Fuck... Space pirates."

set body to self destruct and launch towards them and eject memory core.

>>182570
...is that a robotic assistant with a bow on it?

Obviously these are the charming, roguish Space Pirates and their leader will be a love interest for Luna.

Thus we should endeavor to begin peaceful negotiations.

>>182570
Bark menacingly at the robotic assistant with cat ears.

>>182583

And by peaceful negotiations we mean blast 'em!

Well, we personally don't have anything to do blasting with, and Luna will probably have the presence of mind to handle that, so I say we just hover slightly higher over her head than their bot is with their leader and uh... dang, we can't even threaten to dry anyone's hair yet.

Inform the pirates that their mothers dress them funny.

Then run.

Dartagnan 2010/05/26(Wed)15:58 No. 183528 ID: ba2d05
File 127491471723.png - (272.23KB , 528x581 , pirateleader.png )

On closer inspection you note that the Phito belonging to the pirate crew is wearing neither cat ears nor a bow, rather, it appears to be a laser attachment.

They do not appear very charming to you. You do not think that Luna would consider their leader a love interest.

Luna seems to be out numbered and does in fact endeavor to begin peaceful negotiations.

She doesn't seem to be doing very well.

try to reason with them, if they look like they are going to attack set body to overload, fling self at them, eject personality core, boom.

Remember, not all problems can be solved by exploding. Plus do we even have an ejectable AI core? We're not some big hulking robot, just a little floaty sphere. Clearly, the proper course of action is to strike up a conversation with their Phito. Best case scenario, we hit it off and find out where it got that groovy laser upgrade. Barring that, we can at least distract it and lure it away to tell stories of incompetent users so our girl has the only obvious live weapon in the room.

No fair! Theirs one has a laser! Point out to Luna how theirs one totally has a laser and how useful you would be if you had a laser right now.

>>183528
Roll dynamically away and duck behind a convenient chest high object.

Dartagnan 2010/05/26(Wed)17:21 No. 183580 ID: ba2d05
File 127491967858.gif - (42.20KB , 500x200 , fidolaser.gif )

You try to interface with the enemy Phito.

It appears her designation is Momo.

Her method of interface is a bit more aggressive than yours.

did that damage anything or not? looked like being made of metal caused it to not do much.

>>183580
That looks like it was wildly ineffective. Ignore.

If it looks like Luna is about to get attacked, give a max volume feedback screech and cover her retreat. Or attack. Or dash past the pirates. Or... whatever the hell Luna decides to do.

>>183580
Luna is CLEARLY capable of taking care of herself, as she did not feel the need to provide you with any weapons.
Still, you should neutralize one hostile for her; seduce Momo.

Yeah. Who cares if it makes any sort of sense. We're a little ball with a smiley face. This is another little ball with a smiley face and a bow. If Pacman has taught us ANYTHING it's that we're destined to hit it off and maybe run around in a maze full of ghosts later on. We are totally going to try and flirt Momo out of paying attention to the fight that's likely to break out here.

Dartagnan 2010/05/26(Wed)18:57 No. 183643 ID: ba2d05
File 12749254377.png - (141.97KB , 260x422 , searched.png )

You find yourself transfixed by Momo. You are unhurt by her low-powered laser attack. Perhaps it means she likes you.

When you break yourself away from Momo's perfect Pink interface lights you find that negotiations have failed. Luna has been disarmed and is being... searched.

ramming speed! bonk his head!

>>183643
How dare he harm her. Don't just bonk SLAM HIM OVER THE HEAD.

>>183643
"Hands above the belt, fleshy male human!"

>>183643
Where exactly is he searching? There might be some interpersonal misconduct happening here.

Ramming speed!

>>183643
Go onto their ship. Hack in and activate the self destruct with a 5 minute timer. When they rush back to deactivate it you slam the door shut, take control of our ship and fly away.
Then we free Luna and take out whatever remaining pirates are here. Hopefully Phito will end up on our ship, where we can proceed to seduce her.
Then settle down and make little robot babies.

Also,
in b4 rapequest




IN SPAAAAAAAACE

Dartagnan 2010/05/26(Wed)20:24 No. 183727 ID: ba2d05
File 127493066456.gif - (141.88KB , 500x200 , starttractor.gif )

You move to take action against the enemy leader.
Momo however, captures you in some sort of tractor beam. You just end up spinning in circles.

You thought that she liked you.

try electrifying your surface to disrupt the tractor beam.

>>183727
Okay, let's move closer to Momo. Compliment her on her choice of colors.

She doesn't like you.
Smack that bitch up.

>>183727
Yeah of course she likes you, but time to play hard to get do this >>183728

Spin around fast enough to either break free or smash into Momo. We must rescue Luna.

Wait, tractor beams only fix your distance from their source, we can still swing around like a crazy two-robot hammer and potentially smack the jerk around, or if there isn't range for that, line up so she's between us and him then charge forward. Plus you can play the whole thing off as dancing later if need be.

Start singing, "If I only had a laser." Audibly so Luna can hear you while she's getting groped. Upgrades might have had a few less hands on her delicate bits right now.


This will make a good recording, you'll find a trillion hits rewarding when I've uploaded this one.
This could have been averted along with pirates most perverted if I just had laser guns.

Every single pirate
would die after I fire at
their heart, kidneys and lungs.
It wouldn't be a crew race
to see who makes the first rape face
if I just had laser guns.

Oh, I...could make them fry...
instead of spinning like a load on tumble-dry.
I'd shoot spots they didn't know they had before. And if they died...I'd shoot them more.

It'd work better than your glower;
if I had some laser power.
That doesn't look too fun.
Head shots I'd be zappin'.
Your ass wouldn't get a tappin',
if I just had laser guns.

>>183857
I commend your creativity.

>>183528
>They do not appear very charming to you. You do not think that Luna would consider their leader a love interest.
I dunno, I think he's pretty good looking.

Announce loudly that the head pirate has a very small penis and that its so small that he has to sit down and pee since he can't even get it out of his fly.

>>183944
oh man, that sounds like a good one.

>>183822
How do you propel yourself inside a tractor beam?

Why is this quest on hold i want to play it.

Use Intimidating Shout.

>>183857
Also follow it up with.
>>183944

>>183857
IDEA
USE PREVIOUS RECORDING
PROJECT ON WALL
GET LUNA OUT OF THERE WHILE THEY ARE DISTRACTED BY BOOBS

Why is everyone assuming that's a male?

There's a little pink bow!

WHERE IS MONSIEUR DARTANYON?

>>183727
Oh she likes you, alright - so much so that it seems she can't let you go.

Dartagnan 2010/05/31(Mon)22:11 No. 186319 ID: 0c6e6c
File 127536909722.png - (136.40KB , 500x377 , project.png )

All attempts at propulsion fail.
Left with few options you begin projection.
Everyone is distracted now.

brace for impact!!

>>186319
We are so fucked.

Place bets on whether she ignores the fact we bought her a distraction, and instead decides to strike us?

ah, but that would break the tractor beam allowing us to activate head-ram mode.

Is it possible to push Luna back in the ship and get the door freaking locked while projecting this, or are we just going to hope that she snaps into combat mode and doesn't direct ALL of it our way?

Dartagnan 2010/06/10(Thu)22:12 No. 191741 ID: f9ae85
File 12762331781.png - (111.45KB , 500x500 , escape.png )

Luna uses the moment of disbelief to her advantage, injuring the pirate leader in the groin area before swooping in and grabbing you... wait not you, she grabbed Momo.

You are tugged along with the tractor beam as she runs.

just stay with her.

Yeah. Point out her mistake and she's likely to panic and do something stupid. Stay quiet and we'll potentially get ourselves a source of information AND our very own head laser. Just make sure we don't get shut out when she slams the door.

>>191741
Apologize for doing that, saying its the only idea you could come up with.

"it was ether show them off or let the pirate get personally acquainted with them"

NO APOLOGIES

NO REGRETS

>>191768
Seconding the no apologies. We did what we had to do.

Don't say anything, just keep following. Talking too much during an expeditious retreat can lead to distractions and the thing you're retreating from catching up to you.

Project a heart near where Momo can see though.

You have nothing to apologize for. Flirt with Momo.

>>191741
you should be able to stay slightly ahead...

and the projection worked well...


Explain later that you recorded her just for this kind of scenario.