Remember, not all problems can be solved by exploding. Plus do we even have an ejectable AI core? We're not some big hulking robot, just a little floaty sphere. Clearly, the proper course of action is to strike up a conversation with their Phito. Best case scenario, we hit it off and find out where it got that groovy laser upgrade. Barring that, we can at least distract it and lure it away to tell stories of incompetent users so our girl has the only obvious live weapon in the room.

No fair! Theirs one has a laser! Point out to Luna how theirs one totally has a laser and how useful you would be if you had a laser right now.

>>183528
Roll dynamically away and duck behind a convenient chest high object.

Dartagnan 2010/05/26(Wed)17:21 No. 183580 ID: ba2d05
File 127491967858.gif - (42.20KB , 500x200 , fidolaser.gif )

You try to interface with the enemy Phito.

It appears her designation is Momo.

Her method of interface is a bit more aggressive than yours.

did that damage anything or not? looked like being made of metal caused it to not do much.

>>183580
That looks like it was wildly ineffective. Ignore.

If it looks like Luna is about to get attacked, give a max volume feedback screech and cover her retreat. Or attack. Or dash past the pirates. Or... whatever the hell Luna decides to do.

>>183580
Luna is CLEARLY capable of taking care of herself, as she did not feel the need to provide you with any weapons.
Still, you should neutralize one hostile for her; seduce Momo.

Yeah. Who cares if it makes any sort of sense. We're a little ball with a smiley face. This is another little ball with a smiley face and a bow. If Pacman has taught us ANYTHING it's that we're destined to hit it off and maybe run around in a maze full of ghosts later on. We are totally going to try and flirt Momo out of paying attention to the fight that's likely to break out here.

Dartagnan 2010/05/26(Wed)18:57 No. 183643 ID: ba2d05
File 12749254377.png - (141.97KB , 260x422 , searched.png )

You find yourself transfixed by Momo. You are unhurt by her low-powered laser attack. Perhaps it means she likes you.

When you break yourself away from Momo's perfect Pink interface lights you find that negotiations have failed. Luna has been disarmed and is being... searched.

ramming speed! bonk his head!

>>183643
How dare he harm her. Don't just bonk SLAM HIM OVER THE HEAD.

>>183643
"Hands above the belt, fleshy male human!"

>>183643
Where exactly is he searching? There might be some interpersonal misconduct happening here.

Ramming speed!

>>183643
Go onto their ship. Hack in and activate the self destruct with a 5 minute timer. When they rush back to deactivate it you slam the door shut, take control of our ship and fly away.
Then we free Luna and take out whatever remaining pirates are here. Hopefully Phito will end up on our ship, where we can proceed to seduce her.
Then settle down and make little robot babies.

Also,
in b4 rapequest




IN SPAAAAAAAACE

Dartagnan 2010/05/26(Wed)20:24 No. 183727 ID: ba2d05
File 127493066456.gif - (141.88KB , 500x200 , starttractor.gif )

You move to take action against the enemy leader.
Momo however, captures you in some sort of tractor beam. You just end up spinning in circles.

You thought that she liked you.

try electrifying your surface to disrupt the tractor beam.

>>183727
Okay, let's move closer to Momo. Compliment her on her choice of colors.

She doesn't like you.
Smack that bitch up.

>>183727
Yeah of course she likes you, but time to play hard to get do this >>183728

Spin around fast enough to either break free or smash into Momo. We must rescue Luna.

Wait, tractor beams only fix your distance from their source, we can still swing around like a crazy two-robot hammer and potentially smack the jerk around, or if there isn't range for that, line up so she's between us and him then charge forward. Plus you can play the whole thing off as dancing later if need be.

Start singing, "If I only had a laser." Audibly so Luna can hear you while she's getting groped. Upgrades might have had a few less hands on her delicate bits right now.


This will make a good recording, you'll find a trillion hits rewarding when I've uploaded this one.
This could have been averted along with pirates most perverted if I just had laser guns.

Every single pirate
would die after I fire at
their heart, kidneys and lungs.
It wouldn't be a crew race
to see who makes the first rape face
if I just had laser guns.

Oh, I...could make them fry...
instead of spinning like a load on tumble-dry.
I'd shoot spots they didn't know they had before. And if they died...I'd shoot them more.

It'd work better than your glower;
if I had some laser power.
That doesn't look too fun.
Head shots I'd be zappin'.
Your ass wouldn't get a tappin',
if I just had laser guns.

>>183857
I commend your creativity.

>>183528
>They do not appear very charming to you. You do not think that Luna would consider their leader a love interest.
I dunno, I think he's pretty good looking.

Announce loudly that the head pirate has a very small penis and that its so small that he has to sit down and pee since he can't even get it out of his fly.

>>183944
oh man, that sounds like a good one.

>>183822
How do you propel yourself inside a tractor beam?

Why is this quest on hold i want to play it.

Use Intimidating Shout.

>>183857
Also follow it up with.
>>183944

>>183857
IDEA
USE PREVIOUS RECORDING
PROJECT ON WALL
GET LUNA OUT OF THERE WHILE THEY ARE DISTRACTED BY BOOBS

Why is everyone assuming that's a male?

There's a little pink bow!

WHERE IS MONSIEUR DARTANYON?

>>183727
Oh she likes you, alright - so much so that it seems she can't let you go.

Dartagnan 2010/05/31(Mon)22:11 No. 186319 ID: 0c6e6c
File 127536909722.png - (136.40KB , 500x377 , project.png )

All attempts at propulsion fail.
Left with few options you begin projection.
Everyone is distracted now.

brace for impact!!

>>186319
We are so fucked.

Place bets on whether she ignores the fact we bought her a distraction, and instead decides to strike us?

ah, but that would break the tractor beam allowing us to activate head-ram mode.

Is it possible to push Luna back in the ship and get the door freaking locked while projecting this, or are we just going to hope that she snaps into combat mode and doesn't direct ALL of it our way?

Dartagnan 2010/06/10(Thu)22:12 No. 191741 ID: f9ae85
File 12762331781.png - (111.45KB , 500x500 , escape.png )

Luna uses the moment of disbelief to her advantage, injuring the pirate leader in the groin area before swooping in and grabbing you... wait not you, she grabbed Momo.

You are tugged along with the tractor beam as she runs.

just stay with her.

Yeah. Point out her mistake and she's likely to panic and do something stupid. Stay quiet and we'll potentially get ourselves a source of information AND our very own head laser. Just make sure we don't get shut out when she slams the door.

>>191741
Apologize for doing that, saying its the only idea you could come up with.

"it was ether show them off or let the pirate get personally acquainted with them"

NO APOLOGIES

NO REGRETS

>>191768
Seconding the no apologies. We did what we had to do.

Don't say anything, just keep following. Talking too much during an expeditious retreat can lead to distractions and the thing you're retreating from catching up to you.

Project a heart near where Momo can see though.

You have nothing to apologize for. Flirt with Momo.

>>191741
you should be able to stay slightly ahead...

and the projection worked well...


Explain later that you recorded her just for this kind of scenario.