>Fury
>Furry
Iseewhatyouddidthere.jpg

Nahkh 2009/10/08(Thu)15:49 No. 4263 ID: 18212a
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Mmhm. To apologize for my trolling I'll dish out some feedback.
This'll be subjective off-the-top-of-my-head stuff, and I'll be frank.

Character:
Yeah, he's pretty good. I like his no mercy attitude. He does seems a bit eloquent for someone who isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Having a distinctive speech pattern might help flesh him out some?
I'm looking forward to how you're going to work that whole fury aspect into the story.

The world:
I'm definitely in favor of Hell as a setting, but the factions are giving me a "meh" reaction. Having them named after their principal attribute makes them seem bland and one-dimensional. It'd make more sense as a system of classification, since surely even non-Warrior groups have their own warriors? Or what's to stop the Warriors from killing everyone else? (footnote: That problem is fixed by having the social order dictated from top down by some governing agency)
[Actually, there's probably a trope about this. At the very least it is reminiscent of a lot of patchwork fantasy worlds.]
This could just be my false impression of the way things work, though.
But yeah, Hell has the potential for some really demented npc's, scenes, views and events. I mean that in a good way. Depending on the overall social structure you have the potential for some pretty mindblowing plot twists.

The art:
Hokay, I guess I have an issue with this one. The setting gives you a great, great, great opportunity for some really awesome graphics, and I don't think the pixelated done-in-MSPaint style does it justice. If you think you can't draw, or don't have a tablet, no sweat. Get a copy of GIMP (free), or Photoshop (free if you bend in your legalities) and use the bezier curve thing. It'll go a long way.
Also, steer clear off empty cubic rooms. They just look uninspired. [Pot's really calling the kettle black on this one, I'm like the patron saint of cubic rooms]

Other crap:
Antagonist: This is just something I'm puzzled about. Is this Raeve guy directly responsible for the protagonist's problems? I sorta got the impression that it was a product some faceless grey eminence who didn't like your attitude that got you shanked. Some clearing up in that department is needed.
Plus having some characterization of him would be necessary, to help us get the motivation for defeating him.

In summary, it's not terribad, and probably doesn't deserve half the shit I'm shoveling on it. But hey, I only know how to criticize shit. And you asked for it.

>>314062
>Character:
>Yeah, he's pretty good. I like his no mercy attitude. He does seems a bit eloquent for someone who isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Having a distinctive speech pattern might help flesh him out some?
>I'm looking forward to how you're going to work that whole fury aspect into the story.

Thanks for pointing that out. Something to work on.

>The World
The general response I have here is :3c.
They used to be based on the Seven Sins, but that's even more trite.

>The Art
I'm actually thinking of using oC, but the issue here is my OS (Kubuntu), not my effort to procure better programs.
And the program I'm using is worse than MS Paint. I really miss being able to hit undo when I fuck up with Fill.

Other Crap: Again, :3c

Now that three chapters are done, the plot is thickened a little, and everything's a little more fleshed out, I'm bumping this for more opinions.

So, how would you guys feel about infodumps of the areas you have already traversed?

>>314523
That'd be pretty cool, dump away.

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/10/15(Thu)01:19 No. 4758 ID: 6faa8c
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>>314552
Awesome! Let's begin with the Lost.
For reference: Upper left is Tribe Symbol, lower left is typical denizen, right is area of map they control, in blue.

If the tribes are a sorting area for demons, then the 'Lost' are Misc. No lord, no real powers that unite them and no specialization. While any demon may call itself a Lost, no demon wants to be one. Here is where souls of the dead turn to demons, where they mature, and where they filter out to the other Tribes, through the smaller central hub. They technically control the most land and the most denizens, but since there's no real agreement between them, they never have the force to fight the other tribes, and thus get mostly left alone.

They also are the technical owners of border areas, small cliff-bordered passages and walls that run between all tribes. Again, this seems like a great advantage, but there's no command structure, so it's just treated as 'neutral'.

In actuality, Harumda is currently a Lost Demon. As such, he can hear the whispers of the dead very clearly, that being thier trbal power.

This is also the exit/entry point to Hell.

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/10/15(Thu)01:32 No. 4759 ID: 6faa8c
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The Hunters.

These are the demons that get called up third most by mortals, but they are the tribe that enjoys it the most. Hunters are the second oldest tribe, behind the Seducers. They are specialized in hunting, seeking, tracking, and the like, and excel at long range. They take a primal joy in chasing something down, and live off the terror of the prey. For them, there is no better week spent than stalking a human, scaring him into panicked flight, and leisurely following him over the course of five days of what must be for him the most terrifying days of his life.

Most Hunters, since Hell runs on irony, are fox-headed humanoids. Among them number a few human-like demons, like thier Lord, and some tamed Beasts. The trees here are what happens when a Demon grows old, turning into a talking, rooted thing that grows into the sky. Since any elderly end up here as a manner of course, either by accident or purpose, there's a large forest. The buildings are the remains of when there was only one huge Tribe. Thier relics and artifacts are still there, deep underground in dungeons that change by the hours or minute.

Their lord is Dreanin the Lovestruck. Ancient stories tell that he was among the First, once a Seducer but no more. He is the reason why older demons are bound to speak the truth. But that is a tale for another day.

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/10/18(Sun)17:29 No. 4846 ID: 6faa8c
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The Beasts

Demonic beasts of all shapes, sizes and sorts live in the realm of the Beasts. Cerebus was the first Lord of the Beasts, but the position changes often. Beasts as a whole specialize in death and mindless destruction, property damage, and the like. They dislike being summoned and will usually take out their rage and appetite on the summoner, before moving on to other mortal areas. Beasts are the least intelligent of all the tribes, usually thinking that size and power prevails in the end.

This is what brought about the end of their lord.

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/10/18(Sun)17:40 No. 4847 ID: 6faa8c
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Dreanin's backstory and the origin of the Neverlie pact


Dreanin was and is one of the first Fallen. He lived as one of the original High Ones, when there was but one Tribe. His powers then were no different, but he was less experienced and cynical. His first summons was to protect the heiress to a sizable family fortune, a young woman by the name of Elizabeth. She was cold and yet full of fire, and it was not long before Dreanin found himself wanting to spend more time with her than was professionally needed. Time wore on, and as this thing and that thing slowed down the process of securing the young woman's wealth, Dreanin found himself falling in love.

And so he proposed.

And was rejected.

The girl had believed him to have lied. Dreanin proclaimed he would prove to her that he could not lie to her.

"You would have to make a deal with God." she said with a laugh and a huff. But Dreanin merely nodded, and went on his way. He did not fight his way there, God had seen the events and let him through. There, Dreanin proclaimed that he desired to prove his truthfulness to his love.

And so God made it impossible for all demons of that time to lie. Dreanin descended again, but in his absence, the girl had been assassinated, and he was sent back to Hell for voiding the pact. Dreanin seperated from the Tribe and made his own, setting the stage for the others.

Oh hey this does exist. Dur.
SO TITLES.
How exactly are they earned? Yes, by doing Stuff, but does it have to be noticed, like do a certain number of demons have to hear rumors that Iklat is an idiot before he gets a title, or does it just happens when he dumbasses up for the n-hundredth time since monday?
More importantly, do titles provide powers regardless of how bad they are, or do we have no good reason to get the Kicker of Puppies title? That is, does the title of "the Fucking Moron" provide penalties and no benefits?
Also, I'm liking this for the same reason I loved Demon's Crest way back when. If anyone remembers that game.

>>314682
Titles are gained through observence by the Lords. It's one of their duties. Lords are the only ones that can bestow them, and thus when you become one, your title is locked.

Titles are universally beneficial, though some are better than others. "The foolish", for instance, is harder to scare away, trick, and deceive with clever tricks, as he's too stupid to 'get it',

But a title like 'The Powerful' grants more solid benefits, clearly.

>>314684
One more thing: You can ONLY have one at a time.

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/10/22(Thu)19:59 No. 5052 ID: 6faa8c
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Testan oC. Used a mouse.

FFFFFFFFFFFFF jpg... How does bg upload her images as anything but?

>>314852
jpgs have nasty artifacts. png is the only way to go.

>>314862
I know this. But it's the only format that oC saves in that this board can display.

HEY HEY READ DIS How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/11/01(Sun)21:27 No. 5583 ID: 6faa8c
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SUP

THIS IS AN ANNOUNCEMENT!

Currently, I'm not sure how to end the current fight. I think I need to stand away for a bit, look at it from a different angle.

To that end, I'm allowing you guys to select a sub-quest. Subs will effect Harumda, and sometimes open new paths for him. Others merely allow you to look deeper into the strange conspiracy in Hell.

Voting will end roughly around 1:45 PM, my time (West Coast of the US)

>>315383
Brotherhood

Displacement

>>315383
Displacement.

>>315383
Displacement

Displacement wins!
Watch out for the thread tonight.

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/11/09(Mon)01:54 No. 5979 ID: 6faa8c
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Alright, since you folks did so well, I'll reward you with Infodumpage!

Artefacts are very special magical items that belong to the Lords of Hell. Each one is absolutely powerful in its specialty, and they can ONLY be touched by DEMONS. Human hands phase right through them. One Artefact is capable of many things.

For example, the Cloak of Nature's Cunning is the artefact of the Beasts. It bestows intellect on the wearer, gives them an instinctive feel for small-group tactics, and can also send the wearer into a magically-empowered rage. When worn by a Beast, the cloak also becomes as hard as steel, and can hide the user like a chameleon.

The cloak's for the Beasts, the sword is for the Warriors, the bow is for the Hunters, the harp must be for the Seducers... I'm guessing the book is for the Unholy and whatever that stick is relates to Undead.

Will we ever see Awk again? I'd hate to see the demon I single-handedly befriended go to waste.

Suggestion 2009/11/11(Wed)21:07 No. 6069 ID: 34470e
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btw, nice fail there, trip.

>>315869
Dude, I do that like, at least two or three times an update. I'm pretty sure everybody's done it at least once.

>>315824
Definitely. He'll pop in again soon.

Everyone has done it at least twice.

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/11/17(Tue)21:02 No. 6321 ID: 6faa8c
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The Undead

The undead are one of the more numerous demon tribes, made up of the necromatically reanimated remains of mortal beings. This is the only place where you will ever see a Dwarf or Elf walking around in this Reality. Granted, they will be skeletons, but...

At any rate, the values the Undead place the highest are patience and tenacity. They also value highly planning and long-term campaigns, and in this way share some aspects of the Warriors. Few undead are very capable in the realm of cmbat, many more of them stronger by virtue of their necromantic origin being different from demon heritage.

This allows them to use Soulstones to 'possess' their skeletons, enframing them with a ghostly demonic prscence. Such demonic undead are very, very potent, and not to be taken lightly.

It should be noted that the Outsider Yorick does NOT belong in this tribe and cannot utilize their soulstone merge techniques.

Anonymous 2009/11/17(Tue)21:08 No. 6322 ID: c5f90c
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>>315869

Goldude?

>>316122
What of it? (lulz fanfiction)

How do I shot trip?!H508X.HbJ6 2009/11/19(Thu)23:04 No. 6462 ID: 6faa8c
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Postan concept artses for next arc.

>>316262
Alright, folks. I haven't posted in a while because I've been thinking hard. You see, there's several ways the quest could go from here. How it is is up to you.

Singular: While odd for a kobold, the Singular path is questing towards a single goal, and achieving it under one's own power. Other Quest examples: Go Go Go Race Quest, Dorf Quest, Apocalyption, and Romanticar.

The Party: A party quest would be a group of people attempting to accomplish some grand goal. Keep in mind this is the second most likely path I would take without help, because of how kobolds work. Other quests like this include Mudy quest and The End.

Large scale organizing: The one most in line with Kobold nature is the grand, wide-scale campaign. A race or large group of people working under an overlord. Ant quest is similar to this.

So which way would you like to head?

>>316330
They all seem to have their merits. Singular would work because the kobold was, in a sense, "chosen", and thus is above the rest. Party would also make sense because one lone kobold could likely get a small group together of friends/family, but wouldn't have enough clout to mass an army. Large scale, in my opinion, is just too tedious to pull off well. Personally, I'd say Party.

>>316330
Is Awk and Yorick in the same "realm" that Griflbriflim and Harumda? If so, I say party. If not, then still party.

Demons are not evil, angels are not good.

The forced of Heaven and Hell are those of Order and Chaos, not Good and Evil. Harumda is not evil himself. If anything, he's Chaotic Good, on the ruthless side.