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Prince Dream Rose
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“I’m sorry, Miss Fairy,” I say, “but we’re going to put ourselves in mortal peril tomorrow, not today. I don’t want you breaking your neck ahead of schedule.”
“Mortal peril?!” Archibeard gasps from inside my bag. “Lady Kensington, you cannot!”
“What the fuck was that?” my fairy asks.
“Just my disembodied skull servant who tracked me down and is threatening to drag me home to get married. Nothing to worry about,” I reply tersely. “I’m an adventurer now, Archie. I told you that when I left. I’m not letting you out of that bag to run off to Daddy, so either shut up or help me!”
I shock even myself with my sudden assertiveness. I guess Archie brings out the best in me. Sort of.
“Uh, okay,” my fairy says. “I was wondering why your aura felt kind of… undead-y. Now I know.”
“Yes, you do. Now will you please let me help you down?”
Silence. Then a huff. “No!”
I let out an exasperated sigh. “What possible reason could you have to refuse my help? I don’t care if your glow is gone. I can’t believe you of all fairies have a hang-up over being seen.”
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you!” my fairy snipes back. “You locked me in a trunk when you wanted privacy getting changed!”
“…That’s fair,” I say. “All right. I promise to loosen up a little.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Okay, miss fairy. You want proof? I’ll help you drink this wine and more. Now will you please let me help you down?”
“Uh… deal, I guess. No backing out!”
“Deal.”
I spring off the ground, light as a cloud. The Cloud-Manta soap from this morning hasn’t worn off yet, and I’m able to easily reach the rafters. I grab on with one hand, and extend the other, palm up. My newfound strength and height, combined with the soap, is more than to let me grip the beam tight. I look around for the source of the voice, and find my fairy on the same beam I’ve latched on to.
“Whoa,” my fairy says, taken aback. “I didn’t know humans could fly.”
“And I didn’t know you were wearing a… napkin?”
My fairy shuffles her feet nervously. She barely makes eye contact. “I was being responsible with our money.” She quickly hops on to my palm, and I float us down gently.
Dotti looks at my fairy and licks her chops, eliciting a terrified shriek.
“No! Bad Dotti!” I turn to shield my fairy with my body. “That wasn’t funny!”
Dotti smiles.
“She’s gonna eat me!”
“The beast shows its true colors! Dispose of it!”
“Shut up, Archibeard! Say you’re sorry, Dotti! The contract says you have to treat her with courtesy and respect! Do you want me to break it and kick you out?”
Dotti narrows her eyes, but she gives a deep curtsy and keeps her eyes down to the floor in what is presumably remorse.
“I should zap her,” my fairy says. “I can still enforce the contract, even without my own magic. She’s in default.”
“She was joking. Don’t zap her.”
My fairy huffs.
“Let’s just pop the cork on this wine and talk it out,” I say. “I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
I pluck a tiny alchemist’s tool from my belt and uncork the wine. It’s normally used to prime bombs, but for this it also seems appropriate. I set the wine on a box and realize I didn’t bring glasses. My fairy doesn’t care, though. She somehow summons up the strength to kick the bottle so hard that the base pivots straight out and neck falls into her tiny grip. She chugs the flowing wine like a champ.
Wow.
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