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Sun Climber
33b7e7
Just transform into a fluffier version of yourself. And get a hug.
And listen to my long rambling essay about your feelings.
Now, Ceri. I think you are, legitimately, a person with a high sex drive, and who gets a lot of emotional benefit from sex. Being what you are, you probably feel a sort of separation from other people, like there's a barrier between you and everyone else, created by being a dragon and the secrets you have. You've also expressed worries about how real you and your feelings are. Having sex may alleviate both those feelings - it's a universal connection you can have with almost any living creature, and sex is such a basic, primal thing, something that strips away so many pretenses and facades and is so intimate, that it feels very real, and makes you feel more real, because here's someone being so honestly affected by you and your actions.
You're a sexy lady who likes sex, and in a lot of ways sex is good for you. That's good. But, because sex does so much for you, you may have subconsciously assumed it's a cure-all for everything. When all you have is a hammer all you see is nails, right? Or in this case, you have other tools but your hammer is really nice, so you look for nails before you look at other things. There's probably some innuendo I could make swapping the hammer and nails for specific body parts, or about everything looking like a screw, but regardless, you shouldn't throw away a nice hammer, just look more carefully. And when you have some sad or bad thoughts going, be aware that as well as everything else sex does for you, you might start looking for something sexual to do as a distraction from those thoughts. Even if it's a scenario of getting embarrassed or flustered or something that seems like you would want to avoid, part of your mind might seek it out as an alternative to darker thoughts.
That's fine, too, really, in measured doses! If you're worrying over something and there's nothing you can do about it, a distraction is good! And that's sort of what's happened here - you have nothing more you can do about Daatra that will satisfy your current worries, so I think you came up with something that could make you feel better and occupy your thoughts, with the threat of embarrassing exposure to spur your mind along and keep it active and focused instead of dwelling, and probably a little bit of a sexual thrill adding to the appeal of the whole thing as well. All of that was really fine, except that you carried it a bit too far and were willing to risk too much. In the future, you need to not seek such distractions when there's something you can do to make things better; and more relevant to this case, to not indulge in distractions that will, or are likely to, cause you more trouble long term.
Also, your egg situation is probably messing with your emotions right now. Thank your friend, pick up your things, go to your boyfriend, get some comfort, lay your egg (in that order? Skif can't fertilize it, but your body will probably appreciate him trying), and talk to him about your problems, if you feel up to it, or just about your impending trip if you don't. All of your mistakes are natural ones for you, the outgrowth of personal traits that are strengths as well as weaknesses, depending on the situation and how you apply them. Be aware of what caused your mistakes, avoid them in the future, and pay your debts to anyone who deserves them, but don't let shame drag you down. You're still young, and being a dragon, you'll probably be still young for a long time. Learn and move ahead.
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