Percival Pooppants, age 12, female.

Aldric Assbandit, age 45, genderless but enthusiastic about prosthetics.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/20(Fri)11:09 No. 79787 ID: 021ae3
File 125874414787.jpg - (6.07KB , 363x328 , u4f5.jpg )

That's right, you're name is Percival Pooppants, and you're a twelve year old girl.

You put your hair back on. That way you'll stop forgetting your gender.

The end.

make a sammich
find a man
use sammich on man

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/20(Fri)11:44 No. 79797 ID: 021ae3
File 125874628566.jpg - (6.42KB , 363x328 , 765467.jpg )

You go to your kitchen and make a sandwich.
However, you don't know where to find any men!

Go to a bar! That's where men usually are.

>>79814
Dude she's 12. Go to an internet cafe instead.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/20(Fri)15:26 No. 79830 ID: 021ae3
File 12587595639.jpg - (36.08KB , 363x328 , 876878.jpg )

You head over to your local intercafebar to meet some men.

Where's the sandwich?

its in our pocket, obviously.

Make sure we're wearing lots of make up and a pretty pretty skirt so that all the boys will like us

>>79870
and remember to flash them

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/20(Fri)19:30 No. 79933 ID: 021ae3
File 125877422626.jpg - (7.06KB , 363x328 , 89769.jpg )

Of course! You run back home and put on your mom's make-up. It looks great, right? You take the sandwich out of your pocket and take off your dress and go to change your clothes.

Hot damn, lets go find a boy and give him that sandwich pronto! Theres no way he can resist us now!

Suggestion 2009/11/20(Fri)19:46 No. 79956 ID: 021ae3
File 125877520910.jpg - (7.43KB , 363x328 , 8768768.jpg )

But you haven't done your hair! And you're not dressed!

>>79956
WHOOPS FORGOT MY NAME.

Oh yeah, how silly of us. Let's go with the pigtails look. that's always cute. And some sort of tanktop skirt combo that leaves our midrift exposed.

Geeze, we took so long doing this that the sandwich is going to go bad. lets make a fresh one.

You discard the sandwich and put your hair into pig tails. You put on a black skirt, a pink tank top, and your belly button.

Now, what type of sandwich do men like?

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/20(Fri)20:03 No. 79980 ID: 021ae3
File 125877619590.jpg - (7.71KB , 363x328 , 8769875.jpg )

>>79975
OPPSS, FORGET THE PIC, LOL.

Ham and motherfucking swiss. Hold the tomato. With extra sauce.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/20(Fri)20:19 No. 80001 ID: 021ae3
File 125877716566.jpg - (8.33KB , 363x328 , 87658.jpg )

Oh, right. You knew that. You put the sandwich in your pocket inventory. You wonder if you're forgetting to do anything before you leave on your quest to find a man to give your sandwich to.

You forgot your broadsword, but I don't think that'll be a problem. The zombies have been really weak lately.

>>80001
Wait, you forgot your shoes. Is there anything else you need? You don't want your sandwich to go bad, so you need to hurry.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/20(Fri)20:45 No. 80051 ID: 021ae3
File 125877870417.jpg - (8.32KB , 363x328 , shoes.jpg )

Forgot the pic. Why do I keep doing that. >:[

Oh right! Your sword. You have time, should you get it?

Nah. I think we'll be fine without it. I mean, seriously, what are the odds, right?

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/20(Fri)20:56 No. 80072 ID: 021ae3
File 125877936463.jpg - (31.16KB , 363x328 , 76576575.jpg )

You decide to go ahead and leave it behind. Which intercafebar should you go to?

>>80072
the sleazy one

>>80072
The I/O Bar, of course.

The GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BAR

fGhost's Totally Hip Snackcake Emporium, of course.

dont go to the gay bar i heard they were starting some sort of nuclear war there

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/20(Fri)21:21 No. 80118 ID: 021ae3
File 125878086381.jpg - (29.84KB , 363x328 , 876576.jpg )

Ack, there are too many bars around here! Wait, how are you even going to get into the bar? You're only twelve.

Oh please. Look at us! Who wouldnt want us in their bar. Plus we have tasty tasty sammiches. A woman with sandwiches gets in free to every bar in the state. You know that.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/20(Fri)21:36 No. 80149 ID: 021ae3
File 125878177191.jpg - (29.62KB , 363x328 , 876576.jpg )

But, would you need to give away your sandwich to get in?

Of course not. Thats silly. They let you in because they know you have a sandwich to give away inside the bar. Silly girl. Now watch out for that shadow in the lower left corner.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/20(Fri)21:49 No. 80167 ID: 021ae3
File 125878254684.jpg - (16.23KB , 686x299 , 687686.jpg )

You trip and fall into the shadow. It brings you to town! Now where should you go?

[I will be back in the morning. Needs my sleep.]

>>80104
>fGhost's Totally Hip Bar and Snackcake Emporium
FTFY. Lets go there.

>>80323
Seconding. All the cool kids go to fGhost's.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/21(Sat)08:28 No. 80333 ID: 021ae3
File 12588208987.jpg - (15.50KB , 407x311 , fghost.jpg )

You decide to go to fGhost's Totally Hip Bar and Snackcake Emporium. When you arrive you see fGhost standing at the door looking rather confused.. And smug.

>>80333
give him a kiss

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/21(Sat)10:22 No. 80353 ID: 021ae3
File 125882777479.jpg - (15.42KB , 407x311 , 56757.jpg )

You decide to kiss fGhost. All of your lipstick comes off on his mouth and teeth. You begin to wonder if maybe you did it wrong.

>>80353
Gah! Why are you using smear lipstick, girl?

BAD GIRL. Go back home, get the right kind, put it on, return.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/21(Sat)10:34 No. 80360 ID: 021ae3
File 125882848690.jpg - (15.44KB , 407x311 , 897896.jpg )

I-it was the only kind your mother had! You begin to cry. No man will want your sandwich now!

fGhost!ExGQrDul2E 2009/11/21(Sat)10:40 No. 80363 ID: 40dc56
File 125882885169.png - (12.29KB , 663x465 , ohno.png )

I-I'll eat your sandwich

>>80360
Don't listen to fGhost! He is known around here as a big fat liar - he can't even open his mouth to eat it!

Call fGhost a big meanie and run off crying.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/21(Sat)10:56 No. 80371 ID: 021ae3
File 125882976971.jpg - (15.47KB , 407x311 , 5765757.jpg )

You look up, almost excited. 'Y-you will?'
You consider giving him the sandwich. Suddenly you remember that someone had told you not to trust fGhost, for he is a meanie liar face. Plus it doesn't look like he can open his mouth.

You start crying again and call him a liar! Where should you run off to?

I'll be back either later today or tomorrow morn.

Run, crying, to the gay bar.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/21(Sat)14:54 No. 80421 ID: 021ae3
File 125884409467.jpg - (9.76KB , 407x314 , bawwwwwww.jpg )

You run off towards the gay bar, crying.

[NEVERMIND I HAVE MAYBE HALF AN HOUR BEFORE I NEED TO STOP EXISTING ON THE INTERNET FOR A WHILE.]

WATCH OUT FOR THAT SHADOW OH GOD

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/21(Sat)15:05 No. 80427 ID: 021ae3
File 125884470535.jpg - (9.55KB , 407x314 , jawmp.jpg )

You jump over the shadow, losing some of your hair in the process!

Let's start a war. Start a nuclear war. At the gay bar. Gay bar. Gay bar.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/21(Sat)15:11 No. 80432 ID: 021ae3
File 12588451182.jpg - (12.91KB , 407x314 , i want to take you there.jpg )

You arrive at the gay bar. The bouncer looks angry!

>>80432
flash him, then run to pedophile bar

show him the sandwich. he has to let you in then.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/21(Sat)17:22 No. 80545 ID: 021ae3
File 125885295718.jpg - (13.55KB , 407x314 , sangweech.jpg )

You show him your sandwich and he doesn't respond. S-should you really flash him?

Its illegal of him to not let you in. He's allready in trouble. Flash him, then if he still doesnt let you in, call him a pedaphile and run off to the police.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/22(Sun)13:36 No. 80872 ID: 021ae3
File 125892578929.jpg - (13.61KB , 407x314 , yay.jpg )

You flash your bra at him and for some reason, he excitedly fixes your make-up. He offers to let you in the bar, but as you begin to walk in he stops you.
>'Now tell me do ya, a do ya have any money?
I wanna spend all your money,
At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.'

You're not sure how to respond.

>>80872
Take off all your clothes and say 'this is all the money I need'.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/22(Sun)16:17 No. 80962 ID: 021ae3
File 125893545134.jpg - (14.40KB , 407x314 , awyeah.jpg )

'this is all the money I need.'

You're so cool! Now what?

Now we go into the bar and give our sandwich to the hottest guy there.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/23(Mon)05:23 No. 81110 ID: 021ae3
File 125898260530.jpg - (647.97KB , 637x347 , awyeah.jpg )

You go into the bar and look around.

Allrigt, now go find the BIGGEST guy there if you know what I mean, and offer him the sandwich.

I wonder if those posting suggestions so far have kept in mind that this is a 12 year old.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/24(Tue)14:31 No. 81278 ID: 021ae3
File 125910189279.jpg - (51.86KB , 637x347 , wat.jpg )

You walk up to the biggest guy there and offer him your sandwich.
>No thanks, I am gay.

Well shit.

This sandwich says otherwise.

"Thats ok, so am I"
make it clear that we have no idea what gay is.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/25(Wed)16:51 No. 81548 ID: 021ae3
File 125919670610.jpg - (52.45KB , 637x347 , look at that face he totally digs you.jpg )

'Gay?' You say, with a confused look on your face. 'That's okay. So am I.'
He laughs at you.
>Do you know what gay means, little girl?

>>81548
you dont, but u know what rape is and you will rape him

Say that you do! Means to be happy! :D
Say! Its okay! To be gay! Because gay means happy and happy means gay! :D

Of course I know what it means! It means you want this huge delicious sandwich. Just look at it. Doesnt it look tastey?

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/27(Fri)11:14 No. 82179 ID: 021ae3
File 125934929328.jpg - (51.44KB , 637x347 , wat.jpg )

'Say! Its okay! To be gay! Because gay means happy and happy means gay!' You say, 'It also means you want this huge delicious sandwich. Just look at it. Doesnt it look tastey?'
>....
You grin, 'I also know what rape is, and I WILL rape you.'
>.....

Are.. are you saying you don't want my delicious meaty in your mouth? It's slathered in sauce and oh so tasty... come on... open wide...

then start to look like your going to cry a bit if he continues to object.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/27(Fri)14:30 No. 82231 ID: 021ae3
File 125936105833.jpg - (6.54KB , 231x245 , ohgorsh.jpg )

'Are.. are you saying you don't want my delicious meaty in your mouth? It's slathered in sauce and oh so tasty... come on... open wide...' You say, putting on a sad face.
>Look little girl, are you even old enough to be in here?

Geeze, of all the gay guys in the world, we get the one that doesnt want a sandwich. punch him in the nuts and find someone else to offer our delicious sandwich meat too.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/11/28(Sat)10:28 No. 82595 ID: 021ae3
File 125943290997.jpg - (15.15KB , 378x345 , bam.jpg )

You use your long ass leg to kick him in the nuts. Should you look for someone else in the gay bar? Or should you leave?

Find someone else, stat. Our bread is approaching maximum allowable sogginess levels. We don't have time to go find another bar.

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/12/14(Mon)10:10 No. 91470 ID: 021ae3
File 126081423740.png - (81.57KB , 416x368 , untitled.png )

>I'll eat your sandwich! And that Ham and motherfucking swiss.
It's Eric Awesome! He's the coolist kid in your class!

Hell Yeah Eric Awesome! We made this sandwich just for you!

Ashurii!H.Pxix6vQ2 2009/12/14(Mon)12:18 No. 91523 ID: 021ae3
File 126082190161.png - (81.65KB , 416x368 , sammich.png )

'I made it just for you, Eric Awesome!' You say, handing him the sandwich.
>Nom nom nom. Delicious sandwich!
He ate the sandwich!
>What do you say we go back to my place?

Hell yes Eric Awesome! You are the raddest dude in the history of radditude!

Go home with him. Offer to bake him a pie.