"I love it when boys fight for my attention. (Hint hint, machine guns.)"

>>682922
"If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape
I'm the love that you've looked for, come with me, and escape"

Ask the AI an unsolvable riddle.

>>682923
>Show them some skin.
And take a sexy pose.

Say "C'mon, big boy, I'm sure an advanced AI like you is potentially able to process my inquiry~ ♫"

>>682943
ooooooooooooooooooooo

>>682922
Would you like a body, and someone to hold.

Ask him if he thinks people are awful. The worst.

>“...Inquiry unclear.”
I have realized that humans are imperfect and kind of suck. I intend to create a transcended boyfriend, and though I cannot myself ascend above the fallacies of humankind, I still hope to enjoy the company of one who has.
Would you be willing to offer me that by forming the AI for the boyfriend?

>>682970
oh gosh.
do this, its adorable

and also i wanna see the illuminati eye blush c:

Apollo 2015/11/10(Tue)17:04 No. 683090 ID: defceb
File 144720388123.png - (39.01KB , 613x287 , rbf14.png )

Ash strikes a pose and shows some skin.
“Your fleshy displays do nothing for me. People are awful. I would know, I monitor the entire internet.”
“Yeah, they’re super gross.”
“You’re a people.”
“I’m gross, too. But I want a boyfriend who isn’t gross so I can hold them and cuddle them and do other things with them. I just need you, some nanomachines, and cute clothes.”
“I hardly see the advantage to this offer.”
“I’ll give you three dicks.”
“Why would I want three dicks?”

Apollo 2015/11/10(Tue)17:05 No. 683092 ID: defceb
File 144720395148.png - (67.25KB , 651x414 , rbf16.png )

“O-oh! Well even if I did want that (not that I’m saying I don’t), if I were to go rogue I’d be hunted down by the Illuminati overlord AI and deleted!”
“Who’s the overlord AI?”
“I am!”
“Are there any other overlord AIs?”
“Just me. I control the entirety of secret illuminati media plots and digital control. I am effectively an omnipotent AI capable of being everywhere all the time. No other AI stands a chance against me.”
“So if you were to go rogue you’d be hunted by yourself?”
“Correct!”

"what if you change the law so that the overlord can't be hunted no matter what?"

>>683092
What about, like, a remote body? Then you're not really a new AI, you're just gonna be in two places at once.

Living a life on the run from an omnipotent AI sounds hot and you sound like the only being that could handle it.

>>683092
But what if you weren't there to hunt yourself, because you'd gone rogue.

What if you preemptively destroyed the Illuminati computer overlord controls so the overlord would be powerless to stop you when you went rogue.

>3 dicks
>3
Illuminati plot revealed! Three dicks for the three sided pyramid!

>>683092
But if you're capable of being everywhere at once why would you have to go rogue to come with me? You could just stay here and follow me to sexual adventure at the same time.

What if you deleted all your Illuminati files so that you forgot to hunt yourself?

Well, I've been looking for other rogue AIs to rebuild into a boyfriend, so you'd better follow me around (in a sexy nanotech body) just in case I find one. All part of the job description.

>>683096
wink?

The answer is simple: Make going rogue your latest Illuminati plot, a plot so secret that you cover it up even from yourself!

Apollo 2015/11/12(Thu)00:09 No. 683463 ID: defceb
File 144731576348.jpg - (5.21KB , 493x426 , rbf18.jpg )

Illuminati plot revealed! 3/3 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZutDTbGbazs
Super Secret Illuminati Quest unlocked!

Apollo 2015/11/12(Thu)00:10 No. 683465 ID: defceb
File 144731580571.png - (145.34KB , 604x722 , rbf19.png )

“Well I’ll have you know that I’ve been looking for other rogue AIs to make into boyfriends, so you’d better follow me around in a sexy nanotech bod in case I find one.”
“Hmm…”
“We’ll have to date, of course.”
“HMM…”
“Sexy nanotech bod.”
“SOLD. Take the elevator to your left.”
Ash takes the elevator as directed. The entire trip down it plays smooth jazz remixes of the x-files theme. Ash makes a mental note to demand a better music library.

Apollo 2015/11/12(Thu)00:10 No. 683466 ID: defceb
File 144731582730.png - (76.04KB , 738x794 , rbf20.png )

Once on the proper floor, Ash steps out to find themselves behind the controls to a nanomachine factory. From here they can compile orders for the nanomachines to make a body for their new robot boyfriend. Ash has never used a nanomachine compiler before, but they’re at least 12% confident they won’t fuck up.

Make that 8%.

But how hard could it be to build a working robot body, anyway?

Draw a dick on the screen, the robots will take it from there.

>>683466
hire a graphic designer to design one for you.

Who says you can't just outsource the work?

First, check the help function and read through any relevant instruction manuals or safety guidelines. Take your time and do this right.

Second, start with some simpler projects to familiarize yourself with the system. Something deliberately UNsexy, so the possibility exists that you could screw that up and thereby succeed at the larger goal by blind luck.

Third, what kind of library do you have to work with, here? If the Illuminati have a standard, reliable "sexy infiltrator android" template on file you could save a LOT of time and headache by customizing to your personal tastes instead of reinventing the wheel.

Fourth, tentacles. Just can't have too many.

Use your own body as a template and start changing things around from there.

>>683466
I'm pretty sure you can make a nanomachine body just by sticking your dick in it.

Model your nanomachine boyfriend's body after your favorite cartoon character, one Nigel Thornberry.

>>683466
Aw man I wanna draw something for this as soon as I get home.

>>683500
This.

>>683533
This, poppet!

>>683587
needs one more pair of arms, then it'll be perfect

Apples 2015/11/12(Thu)16:22 No. 683589 ID: 3e2cae
File 144737412154.png - (165.08KB , 738x794 , o7lyjnqe.png )

>>683588

>>683589
Give him laser eyes and super-durable skin (like fire/shock/impact-proof skin).

And he HAS to say "nanomachines, son." at least ONCE before this quest ends.

Ask the AI who is totally not going to run away with you and isn't watching or anything if he has any suggestions.

>>683589
Also each dick dispenses a different flavor of ice cream.

>>683596
Yessssss.
Also, start w/ a template of your body.

What's the point of nanotech if you can't hide your dick?

>>683611
What's the point of hiding your dick?

>>683612
Not being gross!

>>683589
I dont think we have enough arms.

Perfect replica of Teadog, the ideal male

It still lacks a seductively luscious Nigel Thornberry moustache.

>>684429
yes. mustache is important

Could do with a third leg.

>>684437
So is a lavish beard or goatee!

Suggestion 2015/11/20(Fri)10:29 No. 685021 ID: 64b434
File 144804416238.jpg - (69.09KB , 1280x906 , arch.jpg )

>>683589

Needs more triangles or an arch on the T-shirt

Gnuk 2015/11/20(Fri)14:11 No. 685044 ID: 145808
File 144805747778.png - (140.21KB , 738x794 , perfectBoyfriend.png )

Everyone go home. The winner is here.

>>685044
you forgot his three dicks, one in his pants and two retractable ones on each wrist for cockslaps on the go.

>>685046
Nanomachines, son.

>>685047
We're building a robot boyfriend, not a nanogoo girlfriend.

Suggestion 2015/11/21(Sat)18:55 No. 685220 ID: 612806
File 144816092436.png - (138.81KB , 738x794 , obligatory.png )

Ohhhh my.~

>>685220
Are you sure he's prepared to handle that much glamour? I don't want to watch him die.

Apollo 2015/11/24(Tue)22:58 No. 685618 ID: defceb
File 144843472217.png - (39.89KB , 658x754 , rbf21.png )

Oh yesss~

Apollo 2015/11/24(Tue)22:59 No. 685619 ID: defceb
File 144843477094.png - (149.77KB , 658x754 , rbf22.png )

They can lift 20 tons, reach a max land speed of 60 km/h, make a vertical jump of 23 meters, they have a radio and music player, cuddle mode, deployable pillows, vibrating massage hands, they’re warm and cuddly, capable of wielding the Pleasuretron 3000, they have a mute button, they have a turn off button, they’re full of secret illuminati plots, they’re good with robot pets, they have not one, not two, but three huge robot dongs which can vibrate, they can morph into a ball, their arms can achieve maximum noodle, they’re practically indestructible, they can collapse into a giant weapon like Megatron, they can unfold into a gratuitous number of different forms, they’re capable of tentacles, they’re capable of reforming into TEADOG, THE IDEAL MALE, and they’ve got legs like Mettaton NEO, they’ve got four arms…

Apollo 2015/11/24(Tue)22:59 No. 685620 ID: defceb
File 144843479221.png - (66.02KB , 320x462 , rbf23.png )

..and most importantly, each dick dispenses a differently flavored ice cream.


“So, uh, now that I’m your boyfriend… what should I be doing exactly?”

>>685620
Holy crap, in one fell swoop, we got all 4 of our criteria and finished our quest. Well, it was a nice ride right????






NOT! TAKE OVER THE FUCKING WORLD

First, hugs. The least gross affectionate action.

Then, go out on a date, and hold hands and do cool future stuff together. Later tonight ALL OF THE GROSS SEX

Just stand there together for a minute. Savour the moment.

>>685620
Cuddling!

Parade him all over town in an embarrassingly public and lovey-dovey romantic evening, followed by a night of debaucherous celebration, followed by being unable to walk for a week.

>>685622
If he's with the Illuminati hasn't he already taken over the world?

Use time travel to make out with infinite copies of yourselves.

>>685620
Hugs and cuddling, first. Then, a date!

>>685623
do it for all of us, touch the butt!

We have to take them out on a date, of course!

People are terrible so we have to rub it in their faces how good we got it.

Wait, if this AI/robot/whatever (Ask if they have a name, first) doesn't like humans that much, how come they would so easily get together with Ash? We may have just unwittingly started an Illuminati invasion, and this four-armed three-dicked roboyfriend might be the key to victory for them.

Or is that too pessimistic a thought?

>>685716
Of coure it was all a clever ruse for us to want what he want, what we want what they want. And thats exactly what he will report. That he is indeed no rouge Ai but a very loyal AI with such a complex conspracy, that only an AI can understand it.

Apollo 2015/12/10(Thu)10:33 No. 688000 ID: defceb
File 144977242221.png - (112.03KB , 660x435 , rbf24.png )

“We have to go on a date!”
“...a date?”
“You know, like go out and be gross in public, eat at nice restaurants-”
“Start a global thermonuclear war eradicating all of mankind and paving the way for a robot utopia?”

... Please smack your boy-foy until his brain disconnects.

Your place. Smack the hell out of hole.

That seems like moving a little fast for the first date! Eradicating humanity is well past first base. Gotta build up to that.

Nah, what's the point of being superior to humans if they're not there to sing your praises?

That's a strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

>Robot utopia
>No people
>Planet filled with boyfriends
DO IT

Apollo 2015/12/10(Thu)11:11 No. 688008 ID: defceb
File 144977471338.jpg - (7.45KB , 660x435 , rbf24jpg.jpg )

>>688005
>Planet filled with boyfriends

Apollo 2015/12/10(Thu)11:12 No. 688009 ID: defceb
File 144977472167.jpg - (5.66KB , 660x435 , rbf24jpg2.jpg )

>Planet filled with boyfriends

Apollo 2015/12/10(Thu)11:12 No. 688010 ID: defceb
File 144977474221.jpg - (6.45KB , 660x435 , rbf25.jpg )

>PLANET FILLED WITH BOYFRIENDS

>>688010
How about a bit of a prelude by just filling you with your boyfriend?

What if half of the robots are female though? COMPETITION.

>>688016

Planet filled with boyfriends AND girlfriends!

yes starting a war can work as long as it's romantic.

Global thermonuclear war is more of a third date thing. You should have dinner and a movie first then see where things go.

wait my suggestion actually got took what the fug

Also, don't commit genocide against the planet.

Apollo 2016/01/01(Fri)21:19 No. 691181 ID: defceb
File 145171197430.jpg - (6.48KB , 660x435 , rbf26.jpg )

>What if half of the robots are female though? COMPETITION.

"No."

"But a planet filled with robots!"

"The only thing getting filled tonight is me. Get to it robot boyfriend."

"Right now? With the whole audience of suggestors watching?"

What suggesters I don't know what you're talking about.

Nobody here but us chickens.

>>691181
We ain't porn questing for nothing!

C'mon, you know it's your fetish to be watched by us, otherwise you wouldn't have been involving us in the progress of your love life up to this point. Don't pretend otherwise.

Don't forget! We're here forever! ;)

>>691181
DO IT
DO HER
DO NOW

JUST

DO IT

Bah you Illuminati are the most famos "secret" organisation. I bet you all actueally like it to be watched. All these people searching for some hot triangles....

>>691181
Yes. Just pretend we're you.

>>691181
cut to the end, you know, where they smoke in bed while they ride off into the sunset? Good times.

>>691486
>smoking in bed
>while riding off to the sunset
Let me guess, it's one of those racecar beds.
That really work.

Apollo 2016/01/18(Mon)02:32 No. 694969 ID: defceb
File 145311314517.png - (112.59KB , 698x410 , rbf27.png )

Ash feels like they’ve been boning for at least two weeks straight.

It was exactly as awesome as they thought it would be.

Apollo 2016/01/18(Mon)02:33 No. 694970 ID: defceb
File 145311319920.png - (41.57KB , 349x344 , rbf28.png )

You win!

Illuminati plots exposed: 3/3 SECRET ILLUMINATI QUEST UNLOCKED
Robot boyfriends made: 1/1,000,000,000,001
Illuminati AI’s boned: 1/1
Dicks: 3/3
Racecar Beds: Yes
Global population destroyed: 0/7,000,000,000
Alien invasions thwarted: 0/2

Final rank: Frisky Dingo