Sebastian 2015/11/13(Fri)09:22 No. 683767 ID: 260951
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>Indeed, I have come to buy supplies by myself.

>WHY, FOR ME OF COURSE!

"All alone.. in a place like this? Haw haw haw! You may as well be 'oldin' up a sign that says 'Sir gullible of lootlosia!' We don't take kindly to goody goody crusader SCUM comin' into our town, scoutin' our defenses! GET HIM, BOYS!"

Sebastian 2015/11/13(Fri)09:23 No. 683768 ID: 260951
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Suddenly, from nearby windows, several men appear! Clad in thick dark red robes, the men aim several crossbows at me.

"I'm thinkin'.. that you might be wantin' to raise your 'ands above your 'ead! Real slowly!"

Dastards! Attempting to take advantage of a holy man! I grip my weapon tightly..

"Put that down or we'll make you like a pincushion, crusader!!"

As if those bolts could penetrate your MANLY PECS. Still, you'll go easy on them, as you want to leave someone intact to buy supplies from.

Punch him so hard in the face you are propelled out the door due to newton's third law.

Do you recognize that insignia on the crossbowman?

throw your polearm into one of the window shooters, leap into another one, helmet first. once you are on their side of the wall you can easily smash all of them.

Grab the *portable* stall and use it to block the bolts. Then move towards the archers and punch them in the face.

Grab man by nose, throw at crossbowman, pick up stall as shield, block bolts with it, then tear it into two and throw the larger half at another shooter. Keep the remaining half, Shield against bolts, tear in half and throw, then shield and blah blah blah. Repeat this process as necessary until it is a reasonable size to both shield you from bolts and be less cumbersome and liable to hit things then it is now.

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)00:08 No. 683882 ID: 260951
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I swiftly grapple the deceitful merchant's big schnozz, before tossing him toward the crossbow man nearest to me!

"TAKE THAT, YOU DREADFUL CUR!!"

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)00:08 No. 683884 ID: 260951
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Then, using my herculean strength, I lift the portable stall and spin towards my foes, utilizing the merchant's wooden cart as a shield! I feel the sharp pangs of several bolts sticking into the structure! Just in the nick of time! I begin to charge towards my enemies, hearing them shout in surprise as I near.

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)00:14 No. 683889 ID: 260951
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Feeling the cart weaken, I take plunge my mighty fist through it's side, tearing it in two before thrusting both parts, and myself, through separate windows!

>Do you recognize the insignia on the crossbowman?

I do! It is the mark....

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)00:15 No. 683890 ID: 260951
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OF STUPID HERETICAL BULLSHIT!

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)00:15 No. 683891 ID: 260951
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The man slams against the wall as I roll to a landing inside the torn up building. The targets of my previous attacks lie around me, but as I survey the room, I notice three more men charging toward me with the fury in their eyes!

Flank them and attack all three in a straight piercing attack.

finish the hoods up fast, then focus on the skull. he's obviously the leader. meaning he deserves a full asskicking.

>>683891
Are you supposed to kill cultists because I think you're supposed to kill cultists.

Burn the heretics! Kill the demon! Purge the unclean!

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)01:14 No. 683904 ID: 260951
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I dodge to the right as they near me, preparing my weapon for a thrust through all three of them!!

>Are you supposed to kill cultists because I think you're supposed to kill cultists.

VERILY!

My blade glides through the two hooded men with ease, splattering their blood and guts across the floor.

"GUH!"

But wait! There leader is not among them! Damn!

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)01:14 No. 683905 ID: 260951
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"KILL MY MEN?! YOU BASTARD!!"

Gah! I raise my arm just in time to block the attack. The sheer weight of the mace crushes down on my bone and muscle. This would have no doubt torn a lesser man's arm to unusable bits!
How did he move so quickly!? It's like he knew what attack I was going to use, and used the fact that my weapon is occupied to go on the offensive! It seems these cultists have a warrior worth combating! This may be an interesting battle after all!

>>683905
kick him in his dick, it's clearly important to their religion and therefore a primo target.
Seriously, just look at that insignia, that just SCREAMS crazy sex cult.

Punch his mask in the snout to assert dominance.

now there are no distractions. remember while the other end of your weapon does not have a blade, a pole can still hurt if you get smacked with it.

This is not a duel, this is a fight for your life. The leader's muscles are a fraction of your own and he's experienced at this.

Grab his mace and wrestle for it, and while he's distracted use your leg to sweep his leg off-balance. Remember, you are the heavier opponent, so concentrate on your center of balance and focus on pushing this guy to the ground.

>>683905
REND THE HERETIC APART. NO MERCY.

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)12:51 No. 683954 ID: 260951
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>smack him with other end of weapon

I drop back, swinging the blunt end of my weapon toward the skull wearing cultist! But he raises his arms, blocking the blow, but still feeling the impact. He slides back a bit, staring me down.

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)12:52 No. 683956 ID: 260951
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>Grab his mace and wrestle for it

I abandon my own weapon and grapple his, taking him by surprise!

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)12:52 No. 683957 ID: 260951
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>While he is distracted use your leg to sweep him off-balance.

I attempt to do so, but as my leg begins to sweep, he jumps back, leaving his weapon with me!

"I know better than to battle you in a test of strength, Sebastian."

This man.. he knows of me!.. This is a dangerous encounter indeed!.. I have only one option!

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)12:53 No. 683958 ID: 260951
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>Kick him in the dick

"GOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH.....!"

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)12:53 No. 683959 ID: 260951
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CRUNCH!!!

He flies back before tumbling to a messy halt.

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)12:54 No. 683960 ID: 260951
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I move to approach quickly, but am blocked by yet more cultists.

The leader yells at me, "The old one two, eh Sebastian!? I won't forget this!!" With that, the leader leaps out a window as I finish my current attackers.

"COWARD!"

I rush to the window..

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)12:55 No. 683961 ID: 260951
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But there is no sign of the cultist. He has escaped.
The cultists I did not kill are rising to their feet! They take but a moment to realize their situation, and begin toward the exits, keen on making their escape! Able to reach only one in time, I must choose who to pursue quickly!

>>683961
tackle one and throw something at the other's leg so he cant hobble away.

Chase after the one on the left, use the mace to bash in the torso of the one on the right as you pass him! Leave no survivors; these guys mean to harm civilians and this isn't the time to be merciful!

Wait, old man! I still have supplies to purchase from you!

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)16:05 No. 683989 ID: 260951
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I rush towards the fiend escaping to the left, tossing the mace towards the would-be-merchant. It collides with him, knocking him through the window.

Sebastian 2015/11/14(Sat)16:06 No. 683990 ID: 260951
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I tackle the second cultist to the ground. He yelps in pain as I come down upon him.

"GAAAAAAAAH! SHIT SHIT SHIT! GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME! I GIVE UP, I GIVE UP! JUST GET OFF ME! MY LEG!!"

Knock him out, then find as many cultists as you can. Kill if they are on the verge of escaping, capture alive if you have the advantage.

Carry them all with your PARAGON OF STRENGTH feat back to your squad, where they may be interrogated by professional torturers aided by magical experts.

roughly lift them, tear off their mask, demand answers. if they refuse the have them come meet your friends who will not be as gentle as you.

>>683989
shit, he's probably going to run off with that. Did we happen to get it enchanted with some kind of holy tracking rune or something?

PALADIN SMASH!

>>684013
that's not our weapon, so who really cares?

Sebastian 2015/11/16(Mon)07:57 No. 684352 ID: 260951
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>Knock him out, then find as many cultists as you can.

The rest of the cultists in the building are deceased, or escaped.

>Roughly lift them, tear off their mask, demand answers.

"I DEMAND ANSWERS!!"

"Ahh! Answers to what?!"

"WHY DID YOU ATTACK ME?!"

"Because you're a crusader!! B..Boss said you were special! Had to be.. Gotten rid of!"

"YOUR BOSS?! WHO IS HE?! TELL ME!!"

"I don't know! All our identities gotta remain secret, boss said!! For situations..! For situations like this!"

"WHAT IS YOUR OBJECTIVE?! WHAT IS YOUR CULT'S GOAL, HEATHEN!?"

"To...."

Sebastian 2015/11/16(Mon)07:58 No. 684353 ID: 260951
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"To.. stop the invasion!"

What.

Tell him that you're aware that (A) the demons are fools that will do the bidding of greater demons without even realizing that they're blindly following orders, and (B) the crusades are indeed an invasion and may result in permanent residence by the church's forces, but that (c) if this is an invasion by the church, then it is indeed a conquest featuring a strong cast of champions; so what.

But don't expect to fight an experienced warrior in his prime for the "crime" of visiting a random town to purchase supplies, and get away with it.

Take the cultist, he's willing to talk.

INVASION? WHERE INVASION? PALADIN SMASH INVASION!

you are here because the countries here literally couldn't work together to save their lives. ether the crusaders came or the demons overran the place.

Which invasion? The foul demonic one? The most holy one sanctioned by God Himself? One organised by a third party intent on profiting from the conflict between the Church and demons?

Stop speaking in riddles, wretch!

Wait. Is he saying that they're undercover crusaders?

... Why?

Sebastian 2015/11/16(Mon)19:29 No. 684453 ID: 260951
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>INVASION? WHERE INVASION? PALADIN SMASH INVASION!

No! Soon, my dog of war!

>Which invasion? The foul demonic one? The most holy one sanctioned by God Himself? One organised by a third party intent on profiting from the conflict between the Church and demons?

"B-Both! All three! I don't actually know about the third one, is there a third party?!"

>Wait. Is he saying that they're undercover crusaders?

"If I am, will you let me go?"

I think that's my answer.

"LISTEN, WRETCH! I AM AWARE THAT THE DEMONS ARE FOOLS, WHO WILL DO THE BIDDING OF GREATER DEMONS, UNAWARE THEY ARE BLINDLY FOLLOWING ORDERS. AND THE CRUSADES ARE INDEED AN INVASION, DUE TO YOUR OWN COUNTRIES INABILITY TO WORK TOGETHER TO SAVE THEIR OWN LIVES!! THERE MAY VERY WELL BE, A PERMANENT HOUSING MADE FOR THE MEN OF THE CHURCH, TO STAVE OFF DEMONIC SCUM IN THE FUTURE!!"

He is quiet for awhile.

"The.. But the bulk of the demons haven't done anything wrong..! They're being tricked into coming here, and are being slaughtered because of it! We have to.. we have to stop the demonic invasion.. for their own good."

Hmmm.... That WOULD go along with what that demon child was saying..

Thread 2 END Sebastian 2015/11/16(Mon)19:30 No. 684455 ID: 260951
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"One last thing, before I return with you, to my allies. Do not expect, to challenge an experienced warrior in his prime, for the 'crime' of visiting a random town, with nothing but the intent to purchase supplies.. and get away with it."

"Wh-What?! You weren't scouting!!? Son of a bitch!!"

Another good day. To be a crusader. Onward to Spartame.

THREAD 2 END.

:applause: