go around back.

Apollo 2015/05/06(Wed)00:26 No. 638469 ID: defceb
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>"I'm actually the uh... most dangerous protester! Yeah! Who knows what I'll do out here! I might even protest you! You HAVE to detain me."

"...if you insist? Right this way ma'am."

>"I LIED! Later nerd!

"S-stop right there!"

Well now I have this riot police chasing me too. Now what?

>>638469
tell him about the fascinating world of zoobooks.

>>638469
Yakkity sax.

Also jump over the barricade and have the protesters block the cop for you.

Run right through the crowd of protesters. A lone charging cop isn't gonna make a lot of headway in that crowd

1. Take out the butter
2. Take a piece off of it
3. Drop it behind you
4. Have him slip on it
5. Laugh... HARD!

Shout "Now you see the violence inherent in the system! Help, I'm being oppressed!" then use your running start to jump on top of the barricade and crowd-surf across the protesters to the front door of the apartment complex. If a cop tried the same thing, they'd just drop him.

>>638608
Do not throw away the butter you went through so much trouble for.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)13:39 No. 638873 ID: defceb
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>"Now you see the violence inherent in the system! Help, I'm being oppressed!"

"I heard violence!"
"I heard oppressed!"
"LET'S RIOT."

>"Carry me home, brave prositutariat!"

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)13:40 No. 638874 ID: defceb
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"Down with the burger-geise!"

Maybe I started a riot. But now I'm home, so... worth it?

So worth it. Now rush inside and get cookin'!

Hope that your beloved isn't home too early.

>>638874
Yes. Of course. Get to cooking. Hope your girlfriend isn't too mad about giving her more work.

>>638873
Crowd surf in a skirt like you don't even care.

>Maybe I started a riot. But now I'm home, so... worth it?
It only won't be worth it if the riot means your girlfriend has to work overtime and is late for (or misses!) dinner.

Hopefully things calm down before that.

Hurry up and get indoors.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)15:16 No. 638894 ID: defceb
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Yes! To cooking! My apartment is near the top floor, so I'll have to take the elevator. I'm so excited to cook! Looks like someone else needs to ride up too.

"...hey, weren't you on TV earlier?"

"Yes! I was in the movie "Anarchy in the UK." I think it was on the Box channel sometime today. Did you enjoy my performance?

No, probably my doppelganger or something? You know how there's a theory that someone always looks like you somewhere in the world. It was most likely them.

I was on a cooking show once. Maybe you caught a rerun?

Stay silent. Keep that smile on your face.

>>638894
Tell him you weren't a hostage if that's what he's asking.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)18:08 No. 638921 ID: defceb
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>"What, me? No. Certainly not. You probably saw a doppelganger. On a cooking show movie. On the Box channel. I'm not a hostage."

"...you're weird." They get off a few floors below mine. Whew, dodged that one.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)18:12 No. 638924 ID: defceb
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Finally, home sweet home.

<sub>"...following the swat raid, the hostage appears to have gone missing. Experts assume they have been kidnapped and are now being carried away to a convenient enemy state.

In related news, police are urging people to remain in their homes and keep all doors locked and closed until the riots blow over. Here's Johnny with the weather."</sub>

Ohhh, I left the TV on again. I check the clock and see I still have an hour and half left.

Call your beloved to tell her you're alright, and get cooking.

Check if you have any messages that matter (like, "Hi hon, I'm going to be home early / late"), and then get your food unpacked and start cooking.

>>638924
Alright, time to make sure you have all the ingredients, then go through the recipe to make sure it's clear in your head before you start. Get a good estimate for how long it'll take. Defrost anything that needs to be defrosted, and make sure to preheat the oven before you start cooking!

>>638924
Double-check living room for guests.

Remember to lock the door, in accordance with police advice.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)20:25 No. 638954 ID: defceb
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>Double-check the living room for guests
This is the only room! Besides the bathroom, of course. It's a small apartment but in this economy it's the best we can do.

>Defrost frosty ingredients, preheat oven, check recipe, etc
Check! It should take me just under and hour to cook everything.

>Lock the door!
Check!

>Check for messages!
Looks like I got one!

"Hey babe riots reaching this part of town. Chief letting me go 'cause of leg. Ridin' w/ Mark, gonna be heli but don't tell anyone sssshhhhh. love you lots hope you're safe<3333"

THEY'RE OUT EARLY. If they're getting a lift from Mark then they'll be here in about... thirty minutes! That's not enough time!

>If they're getting a lift from Mark then they'll be here in about... thirty minutes! That's not enough time!
Gotta stall her!

...do you have any really chatty neighbors you could put between the helipad and your apartment to delay her?

Do you know anyone who has a drone they could fly around the airspace and get in the way?

They also have to get past the riot. Depending how they do it that might take them a while.

Really don't sweat it, I'm sure they'll appreciate the nice dinner even if it isn't ready as soon as they get home. Just work fast (but not too fast, you don't want to mess something up).

>>638960
Yeah, Pretty much this. Don't sweat if you're not finished yet when they get back. I'm sure they'll appreciate it- and the riot outside will probably slow them just a bit anyway.

Patience. You've gone through a hectic time to get to the romantic dinner. Don't ruin it by poisoning the dishes through haste.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)21:50 No. 638970 ID: defceb
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>Patience

You're right! I take a moment to recenter myself. Then I text the neighbor.

>"hey dude remember that favor you owe me"
"oh no"
>"I won't ask anything weird this time promiseeeee"
"what is it"
>"I need you to distract bae for like a while"
"how am I supposed to do that"
>"idk show her your ring collection again"
"I got so many tho"
>"pimp hands yo. wear 'em all. go make fiddy cent proud."
"fine"

Yes! Now that just leaves one last problem in my way...

...I don't actually know how to cook.

>>638970
Just look up the recipe on the internet and FOLLOW IT CAREFULLY.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)22:41 No. 638980 ID: defceb
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>Just look up the recipe on the internet
Check!

>and FOLLOW IT CAREFULLY.
I'll... do my best!

I boil, toil, and cook my way through the recipes. I get so focused that time simply slips away.

Apollo 2015/05/07(Thu)22:42 No. 638981 ID: defceb
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"Hey honey, I'm home!"

Oh no! You failed me, neighbor! I still need five minutes before everything will be ready!

>>638981
Good enough!

say hi and say you have a special surprise and to wait just a little bit longer.

Look through the peepholento make sure it's her.

Say baby I have a surprise for you so could you close your eyes coming in? Will be ready in 5 minutes.

Tell her that dinner will be ready soon.

No more drama, your mind might snap.

Dinner
Movie
Bed

Simple.

>>638986
Not just her eyes, but her nose as well!

>>638981
Don't delay, let them in.
They'll probably need a few minutes to get ready for dinner anyway!

Apollo 2015/05/08(Fri)00:59 No. 639007 ID: defceb
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>”Cover your eyes! I’ve got a secret for you, but I need a few more minutes before it’s ready.

“Okay dear, but you’re going to have to lend me a hand then. Oh! Close the windows too, I think they’re going to start using tear gas out there.”

>”O-okay! Just a few more minutes.”

Apollo 2015/05/08(Fri)01:00 No. 639009 ID: defceb
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“What is that? It smells really good!”

>”It’s a secret, now sit down.”

“I can’t see the chair, I'm still covering my eyes."

>”Right, take my hand. It’s right over here.”

“I hope this is food, I’m getting hungry.”

Apollo 2015/05/08(Fri)01:03 No. 639011 ID: defceb
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>”Okay you can look now! I made you some broth, fried rice, salmon!”

“Oh, honey you didn’t have to do this.”

>”I wanted to!”

“It’s delicious! You made it all yourself?”

>“Well…”

Apollo 2015/05/08(Fri)01:04 No. 639012 ID: defceb
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>“...I may have gotten some help.”

THE END

Dinners cooked: 1/1
Governments overthrown: 0/1
Riots started: 1/1
Illuminati plots exposed: 0/3

Achievements unlocked:

Fifteen Minutes of Fame - Starred on TV

Favored Discount - Went over budget

Anarchy in the UK - Started a riot

Super Mario Sister - Bounced off a Riot Policeman’s Helmet

Good End - Totally got laid after

>>639012
What, no post-credits scene? Laaaaaame.

>>639017
We totally got laid, isn't that enough?

>>639012
It's a good thing we didn't overthrow the government. Our girlfriend works for the government! That could have annoyed her and messed up the dinner. (And our totally getting laid after).

>>639012
>no showing the sex afterwards
7/10 bretty gud.

>>639022

Are you kidding?

11/10 cutest quest ever.

Would (and will) re-read whenever I am sad and need a happiness boost. Best quest.