Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)11:12 No. 60420 ID: fb5d8e
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Clive Steveson got his computer shut down and said

POMANTICAR! Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)11:13 No. 60422 ID: fb5d8e
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>"its time for me to live up to my family name and face pokemon life consequences"

Touch Steve's shit. Die.

>>60422

Get a pokemon and see the world!

Steal his scented soaps.

>>60425
The purple one's the best.

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)11:28 No. 60428 ID: fb5d8e
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Yes! I should go get a Pokémon from Professor Oak!! That will be a great start!
But what will I say?!

>>60428
You'll say "IT IS A GOOD DAY TO DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE BY ME TO HELP MY BROTHER AND LIVE UP TO MY FAMILY NAME! GIMME A BULBASAUR BITCH"

>>60428

I am on a mission to be the very best! Certainly better than my brother! I require a pokemon, and I shall not take no for an answer!

>>60428
You'll say "I want a Pokemon. GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE"
Ask for a special Pokemon. None of that 'three starters' shit, we want something special because we are a special snowflake.
Like a PIKACHU.
Or an EEVEE.
Or a JIGGLYPUFF.

Professor Oak will only have a BIDOOF left for you.
Name it DERP.

You are alt-canon! That means you have alt-canon pokemon!

Get a Renamon or a Land Squid or a Nevrean or a Care Bear or something.

>>60428
See what 'mon Oak has available. If he is not charitable, gank his shit.

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)11:36 No. 60436 ID: fb5d8e
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>"IT IS A GOOD DAY TO DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE BY ME TO HELP MY BROTHER AND LIVE UP TO MY FAMILY NAME! GIMME A BULBASAUR BITCH"
>"Woah, what the hell, Clive! I told you not to come here anymore!! I don't even have any Bulbasaurs!"
>"THEN GIMME ANOTHER POKEMON!! GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!"
>"Wha--"
>"PIKACHU!!"
>"I don't--"
>"EEVEEE!!!"
>"Those are extremely rare--"
>"JIGGLYPUFF!!!!"
>"Oh, I have one--"
>"BIDOOF!! I'LL NAME IT DERP!!!"
>"..Okay, you can have a Bidoof, sure. Then leave!!"

YOU ARE NONCANON THAT MEANS YOU HAVE NONCANON POEKYMANS

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)11:38 No. 60438 ID: fb5d8e
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YEESSSS
my very own BIDOOF

>>60438
NAME IT DERP.

Let's go and kick some ass!

>>60438

Let's go out and train our AWESOME POKEMON. Maybe also look for OTHER PEOPLE.

That had better be a female BIDOOF that we can ROMANCE.

>>60442
If female, we name it DERPA.

>>60438
Search for WEPON that DERP can use!

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)11:45 No. 60446 ID: fb5d8e
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>"Bidoof. Bidoof are you listening?! your name is derp"
>"or derpa is youre female"

LISTEN
There's a patch of TALL GRASS to the left but if I follow the path I'll come across DAME WITH PARASOL

Probably best to start off with some tall grass wild pokemon, but if you don't want to fight at all just take the path and avoid eye contact. No eye contact, no forced fight.

>>60446
Shout out "ZOMBIE GOAST LEAVE THIS PLACE!" as you toss Derpa at her.

>>60446
Challenge her! To a POKÉMON BATTLE!

>>60446

"When we lock eyes, we must have a pokemon battle!"

>>60446
"I LIKE SHORTS. THEY'RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR."
Then attack her.

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)11:55 No. 60453 ID: fb5d8e
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>"ZOMBIE GOAST LEAVE THIS PLACE!"
>"Bidoof!"

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)12:00 No. 60454 ID: fb5d8e
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>"How rude. Now we must battle."

"I'M MEEELLLTTTINNNNGGG!"

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)12:06 No. 60464 ID: fb5d8e
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>DAME WITH PARASOL WANTS TO FIGHT!
>DAME WITH PARASOL SENDS OUT JIGGLYPUFF!

shiiit why didnt you guys tell me she was gonna have pokemon too

>>60464

BIDOOF rape JIGGLYPUFF.

>>60464
CAUSE YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
Send out DERP / DERPA to combat JIGGLYPUFF.

Cheat. Run up and poke jigglypuff with a needle, making him deflate.

>>60464
I said eye contact meant fight. WHY DID YOU CONTACT EYES

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)12:10 No. 60469 ID: fb5d8e
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>"DERPA!! DERPA RAPE JIGGLYPUFF!! DEEEERRRPAAAAA!!!!"

>>60469

Tackle! TAAAAAACKLE!

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)12:13 No. 60475 ID: fb5d8e
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>"Tackle! TAAAAAACKLE!"

Make the tree fall on him!

>>60475
What's DAME WITH PARASOL doing?

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)12:22 No. 60489 ID: fb5d8e
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>"Make the tree fall on him!"

YEEESSSS

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)12:23 No. 60494 ID: fb5d8e
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>"How embarrassing. Looks like I'll have to train harder."

DERPA gained 16 XP!
Clive gained 200 USD!

>>60489
Inform the dame that you just won her hand in marriage, as those were the stakes of the match. Shame she didn't bother to ask.

Form a team with her! She'll make enemies fall asleep while you make trees fall on them!

Sweet! Blow it all on video games and machbatlin!

>>60494

Let's go find brother's stash of courage sauce and drink it with this girl.

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)12:30 No. 60508 ID: fb5d8e
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>"listen youre now my wife"
>"To win my hand in marriage you will first have to defeat my seven fiancees. They each control a gym in this region. When you have all badges, come see me again and I'll take your virginity."

MAN

>>60508

HELL YES.

Tell her you'll be pounding that snatch within the month. GO TO THE FIRST GYM OMG

Find and capture a Pidgeotto, and a Magmar.

Bomb the gyms.

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)12:36 No. 60512 ID: fb5d8e
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TO THE GYM

>"BIDOOF we have to go to the gymOH MY GOD"

>Bidoof is suffering from bellyache due to eating too much indigestible wood.

>>60512
BIDOOF IS DOWN FOR THE COUNT

QUICK, FIND SOME OTHER POKEMON AND PUNCH IT OUT
AND CAPTURE IT

Bring her to the pokevet! Hit on the hot vet!

>>60512

Return it, or borrow her Jigglypuff to continue on your path to poon.

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)12:44 No. 60527 ID: fb5d8e
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>"HEY LISTEN IM GOING TO TAKE THIS THING TO THE POKEVET BUT THEN IM GONNA BEAT ALL THE GYMS AND SLAM YOUR SNATCH IN A MONTH OKAY?! SEE YA!!!!"

Okay wait do I go to Oak or to the next town

Whatever's closer, just get HEAL'D.

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)12:46 No. 60530 ID: fb5d8e
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>"OOOOOAAAAAKKK!!!!"
>"HOLY SHIT!!!"

>>60530

Help me out my little bastard ate too much wood but at least I won a match and if you don't help me out I'll never get to slam that chick's sweet snatch!

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)12:51 No. 60539 ID: fb5d8e
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>"Help me out my little bastard ate too much wood but at least I won a match and if you don't help me out I'll never get to slam that chick's sweet snatch!"
>"What?"
>"Soz I meant HELP ME OUT THE LITTLE BASTARD AT TOO MUCH WOOD BUT ATLEAST I WON A MATCH AN--"
>"Okay, I don't care! I'll heal him! Where is your Pokéball?"

FUCK

>>60539
GO FIND IT BITCH.

>>60539

GOD DAMMIT

Run back as fast as you can

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)13:03 No. 60550 ID: fb5d8e
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there's a skitty playing with it

>>60550

Jump on top of skitty, use that wrestling maneuver you saw on tv. The tombstone, it was pretty cool.

>>60550
Make sure her Wailord boyfriend isn't around, then take back your damn ball. Then snatch the Skitty, and ask Oak for a ball for your Skitty.

>>60550
GET YE SKITTY.

>>60550
BODY SLAM BOTH.

Pick up both, and run back, DONE MANLY STYLE

>>60550

Grab ball in one hand, skitty in the other.

Actually, just capture skitty if you can and continue on.

>>60550
Clive, you are a pokeyman master, assuredly you have some moves of your own.

USE HYPERBEAM

Axe him for help.

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)13:19 No. 60568 ID: fb5d8e
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ILL GET THAT SKITTY!!!

>"ILL GET YOU, SKITTY!"
>"Ski..tty..?"

Piledriver! Piledriver!

>>60568
A

C
A
T

I
S

F
I
N
E

T
O
O

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)13:35 No. 60581 ID: fb5d8e
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YES!!!!
I GOT ITT!!!!

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)13:35 No. 60582 ID: fb5d8e
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..huh?!

>"Sk.. skitty.. skitty..."

>>60582
prepare for rapin'

>>60454
>>60508

Being beaten in POKECOMBAT = TIT SIZE DOUBLING?

We must explore this hypothesis further!

Scratch that belly!

Throw it into the woods.

I don't know what.

Is this a form of combat? Mayby it's a tickle fight?

>>60582

Capture this pokemon. It is obviously the one for you.

>>60582
Become unnerved. Pick up pokeball, quickly walk away.

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)13:49 No. 60601 ID: fb5d8e
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uhh scratch the belly?
okay i guess

>"Skii-!!! Sk-skitty!!! Skkiiii--!"

Oh shit! Its trying to mate! Quick, get some other pokemon in here stat so you can get some kickass pokemon egg!

Keep it up, man.

>>60574
>>60582
>>60601
Hahahah oh god
I was just kidding what are you doing

>>60602
I think you Pokemon scrambled egg

MMM GOOD!

Oh man, this isin't fighting... what is doing?

"What are you doing you stupid poykeymaan?"

It's really cute though and after neither of you would be virgins~--- Oh mannn, what are you doing you stupid Skitty.

Become disgusted by yourself, and seek psychological help.

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)13:54 No. 60610 ID: fb5d8e
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>"OAKEY I GOT ANOTHER ONE GIMME POKEBALL"
>"What-- Pokeballs arent free, young man!"

>>60610

SCREW THE BALLS, I GOT MONEY.

>>60610
Aren't they like, $2? Here, have $10.

>>60610

I got CASH man! Don't be such a buzzkill!

"ALSO THIS ONE IS NOT HEALTHY EITHER, IT DOSEN'T SEEM TO WANT TO FIGHT. WOULD YOU LOOK AT IT?"

>>60601
This japanese isn't right.

It's the hiragana character for "Ha" with a katakana small "tsu," it should be a hiragana tsu or a katakana ha.

Also, the stroke order is wrong, the katakana small tsu's longer line is drawn from bottom left to upper right.

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)14:01 No. 60619 ID: fb5d8e
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>"Okay, okay, now take your healthy pokemon and get out!"
>"fuck yes"

okay guys LISTEN i just lost 10 bucks but now i have two sweet ass pokemon
bidoof named DEPRA-- I mean DERPA
and a skitty

>>60619

Are they both female?

Name your Skitty Slitty

DERPA and HURR(a?)

>>60619

ONWARD TO VICTORY AND GLORY AND A HOT WIFE

>>60623

TO THE GLORY HOLE

>>60619

You must improve them so the only logical thing to do is to have them fight each other TO THE DEATH.

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)14:07 No. 60631 ID: fb5d8e
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okay listen im running down the path to the next city right now but i could also run the gras i guess
but listen when should i let them fight
cos i dunno i cant do it while runnin

BUT HEY okay
>"skitty your name is now Slitty cos youre p sexy i dunno"

You should totally try crossbreading them.

>>60631
Go find some new trainers, and KICK THEIR FACES IN.

>>60632

Would that work?

>>60632

Croissant Bread? :3

>>60631

Run to the next town! We have no more pokeballs unless we wanna carry them again!

Actually that shit worked last time RUN THROUGH THE GRASS

>>60632
They're both in the Ground egg group ._.

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)14:14 No. 60642 ID: fb5d8e
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CROSSBREEDING?!
u mad
i could never do such a thin--

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)14:14 No. 60643 ID: fb5d8e
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...

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)14:14 No. 60646 ID: fb5d8e
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...

>>60642
>>60643
>>60646
Do it.

>>60646

NOT CROSSBREEDING LIKE THAT! AHHH!

Steve is going to kick your fucking ass.

Go for it, man. Nothing bad could possibly happen.

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)14:16 No. 60651 ID: fb5d8e
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Oh you mean bidoof and skitty
i dunno

In b4 Skitty KILLS you.

That works too.

FUCK DAT POKEMON! You know you want to. It's a lot easier than beatin' all the gym leaders, and you gotta practice up for hotcrotch.

>>60651
Skitty doesn't look all that into Derp.

No no no. You need to get them drunk first and play Barry Moore.

I thought both Pokemon are female?

Unless...

The eyes, the EYES...

... Clive's an idiot. Maybe he'll be put out of his misery by a thankful Electrode

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)14:22 No. 60669 ID: fb5d8e
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OH YEAH THEYRE BOTH FEMALE
I AM SO STUPD

Ok, back to plan A on the crossbreeding.

WELL I GUESS YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO GET INVOLVED AFTER ALL THEN.

STUPID ARE YOU.

GO OUT AND FIGHT SHIT.

>>60657
Damn right! You don't wanna disappoint your lady-friend in bed, do ya?

Well you'll have to do then. But that is so nasty.. mmmm

>>60669
Get in that grass and fight stuff.

1. Find the Mystery Dungeon
2. Get turned into a Pokemon
3. Hot Skitty Action

This plan is foolproof.

>>60685
You do know that if he does that, he'll turn into a Wailord, right?

Clive!iJcSNX5yjE 2009/10/08(Thu)14:33 No. 60692 ID: fb5d8e
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alright well... if it's that important..

>"Let's do it, Skitty."

>>60691

Or worse.

A female Mew.

Look, who is to say whether a pokemon is a boy or a girl,aye? Just get bidoof in a tuxedo or something and BAM. Super beaver-things everywhere.

But enough mucking about. Have you forgot your goal of tapping dat parasol weilding ass? Get to a gym, posthaste!

Oh you murr. How can you be thinking of doing this? At least kiss first.

>>60692
Yeah, ok. Lets see where this goes.

>>60692
do not fuck the skitty
go fight stuff
make your brother proud

>>60692
Bah, mood is gone. Lets do the battle thing, THEN make hot passionate love.

Oh shit, the pokepolice got him.

>>60702
This is why you need to find the Mystery Dungeon first, I mean GAW.

>>60702
BAD END.

Finally, I got to see a quest end in failure!

GREAT, uh, SUCCESS?

Or actually maybe not so great, I don't know.

>>60702
Are you implying that pokemon are animals?

>>60714
They ARE animals. Fictional animals with super powers.

I am actually fully OK with this ending.

>>60715

What about the ones that are sentient?

I approve of this quest.

>>60719
Less bestiality, more xenophilia.

>>60719
then it moves into "is it still bestiality to fuck a nonpolymorphed dragon?" territory

>>60726
If it's sentient, sure.

Now you have to define sentience. Have fun with that boatload of drama...

>Load last save point

>>60863
Agreed.

This shit is amazing.

>This thread

...

...

...

...

...D:

>>60767
The word you're looking for is sapience which is human level cognition and reasoning. The word you're using is sentience which is self-awareness. All animals are sentient, not all animals are sapient.

>>60891
Not quite true. Self-awareness is something that not all animals have. The most basic test is to plop one in front of a mirror and check to see if it reacts as if there's another animal there.

>>60892
I thought the test was to put something unusually on the animal's side, then place a mirror in front of it. If the animal positions itself to get a better look at the thing in the mirror, then they were sentient.

>>60892
Problem is that once they realize that it's not an animal, that doesn't work anymore. It's more that they don't understand the idea of a reflection.

For example, cats are moderately intelligent, occasionally pack hunters and relatively social animals. They jump at mirrors, but they only do it once or twice because they realize that it is a flat plane and not another animal.

Pokemantics.

>>60863
>Load last save point
We must win her HAND IN MARRIAGE.

NO BEASTIALITY THIS TIME GUYS. >:(