>>519396
Oh lame, the happy stone doesn't quite work this way. Uh. Hold Renault's hand. He used to comfort you when you were sad, remember? This is just a dream projection of him, but he is really out there. You're so close to finding him again. There's hope for the future, Claire.

Remember how you told Thanra that she could kill you if you went bad? How you saved her from her nightmares? Even though that was a dream in the dream, it was based on reality.

Remember that the Dean held onto his humanity at all costs, and taught you so much. You need to live up to his example.

Can you resurrect the paladins you killed in here? They may be able to help get your mind in order, too. Yes, I know they're SUPPOSEDLY to blame for you being a construct and making you believe you killed your parents who never existed, but remember this is still a dream. Nobody in the waking world has told you that you're a construct, and there's no real evidence that your parents were fake either. These paladins may be innocent. If not, well... sometimes the end does justify the means. The entire world was at stake.

One easy way they could help you is by casting Turn Undead so that you regain your Fear. You'd want to take off the Bolster Undead thing first, maybe.

The Dean regained his humanity. The Dean. Are you going to let that dolt one up you?

Kaktus 2013/06/25(Tue)12:00 No. 519406 ID: b3ca75
File 137218683465.png - (36.82KB , 900x600 , 136.png )

>The Dean regained his humanity. The Dean. Are you going to let that dolt one up you?
But the Dean was a very powerful lich and...
[Claire regained the emotion envy!]
Envy? Of that dolt!? Dream on, buddy!
[Claire regained the emotion denial!]
Denial? DENIAL!? I am a god! Why would I… Wait, I’m a god… I’m way more powerful than the dean would ever hope to be… getting my humanity back will be a breeze!
[Claire regained the emotion overconfidence!]

>seeing Renault up in a maids outfit
…
[Claire regained the emotion arousal!]
H-hey! Don’t b-broadcast t-that to everyone!
[Claire regained the emotion Embarrassment!]

>Uh. Hold Renault's hand. He used to comfort you when you were sad, remember?
…I…
…
...he was… is…
[Claire regained the emotion avocado!]
Ava what now!? That’s not even an emotion! What the hell!?

>Can you resurrect the paladins you killed in here?
…it is done.
So I said, your momma is so- wait, where did you go? …um… wait, who are yo- HOLY SHIT IT’S THE LICH! Um… I will smite thee with holy powers, thou of shadows? I think?

Insert I feel Avocado today_

>>519406
Tell him to knock it off and that you need his help restoring your humanity. Take off your protection versus it and have him cast Turn Undead on you. You're powerful enough at this point that you can limit its effect to give you just a taste of fear.

Let's see, after that... well, we still don't have Love unless Avocado is a weird dream-translation of it. That's a bit difficult though, and will probably be the very last emotion you recover.

There's regret- uh, you could try apologizing for killing the Paladin like that, or realizing that you're in this pickle right now because you ate Hans- it's kindof your fault (though okay it was mostly mine).
Compassion might be possible by going over to Thanra and thinking about what she must be going through right now.

What else is there? Pride's covered by overconfidence probably. Vanity? You are pretty hot, I mean you got three boyfriends in what, three days? I think you already have boredom. Ah. Confusion. Contemplate avocado, and how Hans said you were supposed to have avocado powers. What would avocado powers even do? Avocado avocado avocado.

Contemplate your Naval, it might help to see within oneself.

ask him what he knows of avocado being an emotion

Ok lets try remembering some things to see if those bring back your emotions
the night you and Thanra pulled a prank on the guys, the one involving the chick which Renault then attack causing more chickens to come and attack them

Remember what a chicken taste like, I mean you almost bit off Waran's claw trying to eat one of those things.

...The boreworm queen (hey bad emotions are still emotions) and then when you blow that bitch away

the threesome you had

the moment when you got to see your fathers again.

that's all I got right now so lets see if that did anything.

Contemplate avocado

Why do you even want to be a god anyways? It sure as hell didn't work out for the other people who had you powers. You killed two of them and the other got killed by a freaking codpiece. Having those powers will just get you killed.

Kaktus 2013/06/26(Wed)07:50 No. 519583 ID: b3ca75
File 137225823286.png - (34.83KB , 900x600 , 137.png )

>Why do you even want to be a god anyways? Having those powers will just get you killed.
I didn’t really choose, you know. It was a “you killed it; you bought it” kind of deal.
>Take off your protection versus it and have him cast Turn Undead on you.
Knock it off, paladin, and help me regain my humanity. That’s what you tin cans are supposed to do, right?
Um… Are you trying to trick me…? Maybe I should get one of the higher ups, I’m just a disciple and-
Just cast turn undead on me already. Don’t worry, I’m powerful enough to just shrug it off like it was nothing.
If you say so… Coma faveo me… Turn!

[Claire regained the emotion Fear!]
[Claire regained the emotion Humility!]
[Claire regained the emotion Disgust!]

…are you okay? You did scream quite loud and-
Y-yes, I’m f-fine! J-just… err… checking f-for… s-stuff under the b-bed…
…And I need a new pair of clean underwear…

>Contemplate your Naval.
I would I contemplate a ship? I don’t own a ship. Or do you mean navel? Which, for your information, I don’t have either.
>Contemplate avocado. What would avocado powers do? Avocado avocado avocado.
…maybe it gives me to power over tacos? Or… um… tacos? Tacos tacos tacos…
[Claire regained the emotion Confusion!]

>Remember what a chicken taste like.
…mmm… chicken…
[Claire regained the emotion Beware! I Hunger! Run Coward, Run! RAAWWRRR!]
>The boreworm queen.
…I already got fear… and I already need a new set of underwear…
>and then when you blow that bitch away.
[Claire regained the emotion Happiness!]
>You are pretty hot, I mean you got three boyfriends and had a threesome.
[Claire regained the emotion Pride!]
>the moment when you got to see your fathers again.
[Claire regained the emotion Nostalgia!]

[Claire regained her humanity! Current humanity: Extremely low!]
…oh gods… I… I didn’t mean the things I said… or thought… not the things about my friends… I… I’m sorry…
[Claire regained the emotion Regret!]

Insert Sin is a star_

Bedbug!

>…oh gods… I… I didn’t mean the things I said… or thought… not the things about my friends… I… I’m sorry…
Not your fault, really. You literally didn't have the capacity to do otherwise. But you're back, and you didn't have a chance to do any permanent damage, I think.

Transparent Dylon in front of the lizard-bed.

We still need to get that vassal!

Also yes, there's a transparent dylon (or folken) at the foot of the bed.

>>519583
It's okay Claire, we know.

Time to show the illusions who's boss.

ok we got humanity back now we just have to up it a little and then disbelieve this illusion, also see what Dylon wants.

Kaktus 2013/06/26(Wed)13:26 No. 519613 ID: b3ca75
File 137227841443.png - (35.91KB , 900x600 , 138.png )

>Not your fault, really.
I’m still sorry, okay?
>Time to show the illusions who's boss.
Yes, let’s make this dream my bi- …oh wait, I know why I got these god powers now. Apparently my dream walk powers that’s responsible and not the vessel. Neat, I guess. Anyway, Let’s grab that last piece! …which would be a cake walk if Folken wasn’t in the way. Literally. I can see the vessel piece inside him.

>see what Dylon wants.
I would recognize Dylons cute abdomen anywhere and that isn’t it. That’s quite clearly Folken.

Hello, Folken… I see that you’re not part of the dream or the illusion.
Claire, sweetie, of course I’m real. I’m here to stop you from annoy my master. Oh, and kill you, of course!
Your master? You mean Liz!?
Liz? That’s simply a lie from your kind to claim supremacy and you know it. This god is a man and his name is Hans!
…Oh, right, you’re all sexist and stuff.
Sexist? I’m simple trying to save a dying race from your vile clutches! If the man would have any hope to survive all of your kind needs to die!
…that doesn’t even make sense! You need a man and a woman to continue the species!
Feminist lies!
You’re nuts!
On the contrary, I’m the only one that’s sane. My master whispered that into my ear, therefore it must be true! Why, when I found him in the cold north after that debacle with the noble girl I knew I’ve found a new golden age! When he started to whisper his wisdom I knew… I knew I’d found my one true master… and love…
As fun as listening on your batshit crazy ramblings are, can I kill you now?
Of course not! This is a dream battle, there are rules to follow! I think you know what to do, don’t you? Let me make the first move… I am Folken, Undead master, destroyer of the women supremacy!
Oh, for fuck sake, The oldest game!? Isn’t this shit cliché enough!? But fine… I’ll kick your ass anyway.

Insert I am Hope_

The oldest game, again? Fine, we'll do the same trick we did before.

I am your dread master, all powerful, controlling.

Now either tell me what kills your master or concede already.

... ok then

I am the paladin, undead slaying, bringer of peace for all.

>>519618
Yep.

>>519618
that works

Mantis ball kick technique!

>>519613
Can't you just... explode him?

Kaktus 2013/06/26(Wed)21:31 No. 519721 ID: b3ca75
File 137230751086.png - (35.27KB , 900x600 , 139.png )

>Can't you just... explode him?
Mantis ball kick technique!
Unable to affect Folken! Can only affect things in the dream!
…you do know I’m wearing a full plate armor, right? Even if you should have affected me with that the only thing you’d accomplish would be a broken foot.
…

I am your dread master, all powerful, controlling.
I am Claire, God killing, unknown undead minion.
…oh, you son of a-
Do I hear a forfeit?
…I am the paladin, undead slaying, bringer of peace for all.
I am corruption, war bringer, order destroyer.
But, paladins are immune against corruption!
Oh? Then ask your paladin friends how they created you and what happen to that poor noble girl that ran away. You’ll see their corruption soon enough. Now, play or die!

Insert I am insert, joke spewing, not really witty_

I am eternity, in whose eyes no event carries significance.

>>519721
The paladins in this dream are just that. In a dream, and prone to the influence of the dreamer, who is either crazy Liz or crazy Hans. We can't ask them right now- you would get the answer Folken wants you to hear, not necessarily the truth.

How about Victory, evil redeeming, disaster averting.

we'll ask them later

I am the inquisition, choas ending ,never suspected

I am renewal, replacing anew that was once lost, making corruption irrelevant.

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)07:25 No. 519767 ID: b3ca75
File 137234315614.png - (36.03KB , 900x600 , 140.png )

I am Victory, evil redeeming, disaster averting.
I am a traitor, failure creating, always suspecting.
I am the inquisition, traitor ending ,never suspected.
I am the maker, hammer wielding, religious order controlling.
I am eternity, in whose eyes no event carries significance.
I am the end, the finite, the absolute.
I am renewal, replacing anew that was once lost, an never ending cycle.
I am Folken, Cycle breaking, ender of pain.
…I am a blade, Folken killing, oldest game ender.
Hah, you just lost. A blade is no match for-

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)07:26 No. 519768 ID: b3ca75
File 137234316912.png - (36.78KB , 900x600 , 141.png )

Claire decapitates Folken for Infinite(oldest game) damage!
Folken has been slain!

The dream seem to disagree with you on that.
…
…
…and there it is… the last part of the vessel… for real this time.
…
I don’t know what will happen if I take it. Will I really become some sort of god? Will Liz die? Am I just playing into the hands of some bad guy?
What should I do? Take it? Leave it? Hide it? …destroy it?

Insert I am Kaktus, humorless, unable to write a story_

Our friends suffer, we need to continue on. Take the Vessel.

Take it... and wake up. Thats it.

Actually, Claire didn't even cheat. Folken lost, fair and square. The oldest game continues until someone cannot answer, or repeats. He used his name twice, he loses.

well our friends are still in danger so we kinda have to move forward.

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)08:28 No. 519775 ID: b3ca75
File 137234688273.png - (33.90KB , 900x600 , 142.png )

>Our friends suffer, we need to continue on. Take the Vessel.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

[Claire receives the last piece of the vessel! Claire creates Virtue!]
[Lizbeth can no longer sustain her illusion!]
Lizbeth has died of old age!
The dream has ended!

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)08:28 No. 519776 ID: b3ca75
File 137234690793.png - (407.71KB , 1000x550 , MephistophelesWithoutJohnDefoe.png )

>wake up.
Space: the final frontier.
These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)08:28 No. 519777 ID: b3ca75
File 137234692448.png - (388.23KB , 700x526 , RikerGetAllTheBitches.png )

Star date… um… I think it’s the twenty seventh. Anyhow, Max still haven’t called. I know that he’s the master of magnetism but come on; it’s been like four hours! …maybe I should call him ag-
My beard powers tells me that you’re using the ships logs like a personal diary again.
Does your beard tell you where I’ll shove it if this isn’t important, Riker?
Professor Xa- I mean Captain Picard, my beard has picked up a emergency signal from a nearby planet! The planet [Insert name here] with [Insert feature here] is [Insert emergency here]!
… Insert the what? What’s the meaning of this?
The beard have requested that the readers at home will choose!
…what the fu-
THE BEARD HAS SPOKEN, ALL HAIL THE BEARD!

Insert I’m Bert the beard_

wat

The planet beard, with all its fabulous facial hair is under attack by clones of Edward scissor hands

Claire? Punch Kaktus.

*Puts nerd glasses on*. Okay that >>519776 is clearly the Enterprise-A, but that >>519777 is clearly the bridge and crew of the Enterprise-D.

Helmsman, set a course for planet [insert name here] at warp 6. Beacause we never use warp 9 if we can help it. You'd think there were speed limits or traffic cops in space, or something. Engage.

Number one, contact starfleet. Advise them that we will be responding to [Emergency].

I'll be in my ready room.

The planet Shakespeare with its population of eccentric stage actors who need their bald headed messiah to return so that they can complete every single play featuring the house of Plantagenet!

wh-wha ... i mean... it's funny say the least.
where's Q, we need more Q

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)10:52 No. 519796 ID: b3ca75
File 137235555251.png - (476.78KB , 694x530 , WhoIsAwesomeYouAreAwesome.png )

>Okay that is clearly the Enterprise-A, but the crew is clearly of the Enterprise-D.
Shh, We don’t want Kirk to know we “borrowed” his ship for a joy ride.

>Engage!
It’s my home planet, isn’t it?
THE MIGHTY BEARD CONFIRMS WHAT ITS ADVISOR MUSTACHE HAS SAID, IT IS THE PLANET “SHAKESPEARE”!
Then I must return home to my people, the eccentric actors. What is the emergency?
The evil company N.B.C have captured the planet with force and is forcing them into producing a heinous show called STAR TREK! And that’s terrible! Also, BEARD!!!
Those fiends! Engage warp 6 immediately!
Um… actually this is school zone. The speed limit is only warp 3. The beards say he can’t get caught speeding again or he’ll lose his license!
Whatever, just go alre-

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)10:52 No. 519798 ID: b3ca75
File 137235557436.png - (433.52KB , 694x530 , T_H_E_MPerformsAtEveryBirthDay.png )

>where's Q, we need more Q
NOOO! DON’T MENTION HIS NAME!
Au contraite, mon capitan! HEEEEEE'SSSSS BAAAAAAAAAAACK!
…fuck.
Did you really think that prison world filled with colorful equine would keep me? I feel insulted! But I’ll forgive you, that’s what friends do, right captain?
Ha! The beard is already covered in the bitches. Your fantasy women will not distract the mighty beard this time!
…you know, you’ve become so drool after you got that beard, let me fix that…

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)10:53 No. 519800 ID: b3ca75
File 137235559111.png - (728.52KB , 703x1049 , JumpingTheShark.png )

…No beard?
No beard!
…you will burn!!! RAAAWRRR!!!!
…Sigh… How am I supposed to save my home planet while Disc- I mean Q and The bea- Riker is fighting on the bridge!? I need to act fast!

Insert The ROCK thinks talking in third person is unrealistic_

Summon the biggest fish?

>>519807
no, summon the biggest BEARD!

Get rid of them. Have Riker challenger Q to some absurd contest to win back his beard. Then Q will whisk him away to some made up fantasy land and you'll be done with both of them, for a little while.

>>519800
Quick, reverse the polarity on your quantum shaver!

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)12:41 No. 519833 ID: b3ca75
File 137236209899.png - (299.33KB , 729x557 , WhyHelloThereSexy.png )

>Quick, reverse the polarity on your quantum shaver!
You dare remove the beards beard? I’ll show you a beard that you can’t even dream of debearding! Picard, reverse the polarity on the quantum shaver!
This is madness!
BEHOLD! TWO BEARDS OF THE AGES! TWICE THE BEARD THAT ANY MAN CAN HANDLE!
Meh, I’ve seen better.
What!? Then the beard must make it bigger!
>Summon reverse shave the biggest BEARD!
Yeeeessssss…
No! I forbid you from shaving like that!
Ah, man…
Doesn’t matter anyway. The author of this quest is about to be punched unconscious by his own creation, thus dooming us all!
…what?

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)12:41 No. 519834 ID: b3ca75
File 137236211071.png - (394.15KB , 547x522 , RightInTheKisser.png )

>Claire? Punch Kaktus.
Claire slaps Kaktus for 1 damage!
Kaktus has been slain!
The quest goes boom!
Yaaay!

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)12:42 No. 519835 ID: b3ca75
File 137236212467.png - (175.00KB , 500x346 , AlienQuote.png )

Game over! Thank you for playing QuestQuest! You’ve been a real hoot!

Restore <--
Restart
Quit

A star trek parody without mentioning Worf or Data? What is this shit!?
Garbage day!