Punch the ground to death.

Suggestion 2012/04/06(Fri)16:59 No. 399070 ID: 5b48d7
File 133375677208.jpg - (173.61KB , 1000x600 , not stuck this time.jpg )

I've been floating down this stupid river for a long time, but I think I can see oh SHI-

Suggestion 2012/04/06(Fri)17:00 No. 399071 ID: 5b48d7
File 133375682996.jpg - (243.68KB , 1000x600 , poolside.jpg )

Aghpftpt! Well at least I'm out of that cave. Not sure where I am exactly, though.

Fly up to the sky and survey your surroundings.

Oh wait......

skulk around in the dirt and look for something interesting then.

Shame we didn't say goodbye to the weird bio-armor demon dudes. They seemed nice.

Climb up on a thing and look around.

>>399071
You have no clue what is around you! Quick, strike a sultry pose, you must seduce them before they get you!

make emergency smoke signals by burning shit, hopefully someone friendly will see it

Check for presence of all your jewelry. You wouldn't want to look less than maximally magnificent.

Go left!

>>399071
Is that gold in them thar rocks?

Flare 2012/04/06(Fri)18:51 No. 399115 ID: 5b48d7
File 133376350277.jpg - (224.67KB , 1000x600 , valley.jpg )

>>399108


All right, I'll get a better look here. I think I'm on the east side of this mountain. If that foggy stuff is swamp then that means my dragon's lair is on... the other side of this stupid mountain. Crap.

To the south of here there's some faggoty elfy forest, if I go east through the swamp there's awful snotty little kobolds and all kinds of stinky crap that I'd rather not walk through. Either way it'll be easier than trying to climb up the mountain
>>399072
Hey, I don't make jokes about your far apart eyes and stupid face. So shut up.
>>399075
Nah I think that's fine.
>>399076 >>399080

For what? Some annoying peeping bird? This is the middle of nowhere.

>>399084
Yeah it's all here.

>>399085
I'll uhh, keep that in mind.

>>399108
I think it is... I'll need to check that out in a bit.

I'm tempted to say elves. Maybe you can convince them that you are some sort of forest goddess.

Forest elf faggots sounds like the least shitty option.

So, to summarize, you were returning to your lair when... some dragon was battling with you, so you decided to eat his face off. Then you got caved in and had to explore the depths of the darkness, where you found peculiar creatures with little to no skin pigment, who all seemed to be sure something awesome was happening. You got uh... beaten up when some monster came out of them, and escaped through a waterway lined with extremely narrow and skinny grates, and now you're out of the mountain, on the wrong side?

Man today just isn't your day.

>>399134

Why do we always choose elves... we always regret it.

>>399115
Which is worse, really? Elven attitude, or an army of Xenophobic kobolds?

No! Let's take some joy in slaughtering kobolds!

>>399115
'Bolds are assholes, lets go with the elves.

>>399115
Go into the forest, learn the ways of camouflage from the elves.

>>399194
Yea, second that. No sense killing them.

fuck them leafcunts, go to the boldlings.

>>399194
I KNOW you are not implying elves are not.

>>399227
Elves are slightly less genocidal assholes.

>>399115
Hmmmm, the elves ARE annoying, but so are the bolds'....but the elves are less likely to try and kill anything without a giant face, so perhaps that may be the way to go. As long as we don't go blasting any trees, they may prove to be hostpitable.

Also, fondly remember the tentacle thingy.

>>399115
Bolds go gronk. Flarey goes gronk. Let us unify under a common grunting noise.

Flare 2012/04/07(Sat)15:50 No. 399274 ID: 5b48d7
File 133383900256.jpg - (177.33KB , 1000x600 , murr.jpg )

OK, so the plan is to go around the south end of the mountain through the forest of stupid elves. ugh.

The kobolds, with an army? Don't make me laugh! they just muck around in the nasty swamp with sticks and rocks and probably poop.

>>399136
No, I was beating him up so he would tell me where his treasure was so I could take it. All the other stuff pretty much happened like that.
>A secret has been revealed

Hmm..This is definitely gold, with a bit of silver in it. I don't have whatever you need to dig up ore with, though, and carrying this big ass rock is out of the question.

If it's just savage bolds without genocidal weaponry you should enslave em and make em mine the gold for you.
Proper dragons get Kobolds, but I guess cutebolds are alright for you.

>>399274
Well if we don't have anything to dig it up at the moment, then there is nothing to do about it right now except mark the location in our superior draconic memory and set off.

>>399274
Hmm, going to need some minions to properly get at that delicious gold. Might be worth checking out the 'bolds to see if they're the primitive ones or the advanced ones.

you're not desperate enough to actually stick around and look for miners just for a wee bit of gold, are you? just go to your lair.

>>399277
Makes perfect sense that a cutedragon would get cutebolds. That.

Flare 2012/04/07(Sat)17:53 No. 399303 ID: 5b48d7
File 133384639639.jpg - (228.11KB , 1000x600 , yiffy forest.jpg )

Ugh, stupid bushes. I hate the forest, just getting here took most of the day. There better be something better to eat in there than these berries. Great, right at sunset too. I don't think it'll matter in there either way. It's dark as a cave ogre's asshole in there. I hate elves.

>get kobolds
Gross, I don't want some nasty muddy kobolds hanging around all the time and crapping on the floor. ugh.

>leave gold
I can't help but think there was some way to get to that gold. I'll just have to remember it perfectly and come back to it later, then.

So how should I go through this mess? Why can't there be some old dwarfen road or something? uuuugh.

>>399303
quit being a baby and just climb that shit, you have claws unlike me

Flare 2012/04/07(Sat)19:25 No. 399314 ID: 5b48d7
File 133385190133.jpg - (76.97KB , 1000x600 , flarey climbs the tree.jpg )

:flare: OK what the crap am I doing when I get up here?

Could you have dug out the gold with your claws? If not, could you have melted it with fire breath then let it cool to collect it? Uh... I forget how often/long you can use fire breath.

Hopefully getting a better vantage point. If not, then, well, wasting time I guess?

>>399284
>>399314
Sleep stupid.

>>399314

You're giving us a great view of your sweet red badonk.

>could you have melted it with fire breath then let it cool to collect it?
I can't think of anything /else/ that could have worked. Might have been worth a shot.

We can try that tomorrow. For now just try and find a spot relatively out of the way for you to sleep.

>>399314
Survey the land in a truly majestic dragon fashion and then possibly sleep a bit. After that we're melting some rocks and getting some gold!

>>399377
This and then sleep most likely.

Flare 2012/04/08(Sun)09:40 No. 399418 ID: 5b48d7
File 133390321058.jpg - (211.03KB , 1000x600 , it looks like flarey but it flies.jpg )

>temperature stress fracturing
:flare: That sounds like it would work. I'll have to waste a whole day to get back there, though.

I've gotten above the tree tops, and- what the crap is that floating in the air? It looks like it's headed west.
>>399377
I'll take that as a compliment.

>>399418
Well who wouldn't want to compliment such a majestic set of hindquarters? Nice and firm with hard, glittering scales you could bounce a silver coin off of.

Besides, that tentacle guy really liked you, didn't he?

>>399418
Weird, what is that? Oh well, not like it concerns us. Might as well get moving.

Also, ponder where those tentacle guys came from. (and secretly wish you had one of your own.)

>>399418

Go fly over and check it out. OH WAIT YOU CAN'T :3c

Use that bendy tree you're on to improvise a slingshot and fire yourself through the air at that thing!

Or if you want to be boring, just walk after it and see where it's going.

>>399418
Well it's GOLD, so you'd better follow it, Magpiedragon.

it's probably a conveniently explosive boldling vehicle. carry on.

Might as well head back to the gold. It's not like you have anywhere to be.

Flare 2012/04/08(Sun)15:54 No. 399485 ID: 5b48d7
File 133392566146.jpg - (97.35KB , 1000x600 , stuck again.jpg )

>>399419
>>399431
No! Shut up about it already!
>>399440
You too! Agh!

:flarey
>>399460
I don't think that will work, it's pretty far away. If I walk after it I can't see it from the trees, but I could keep heading west, but that's not going to get me around the mountain.

>>399470
It's not gold, stupid. It's just the sun.


>>399475
That doesn't make any sense. Kobolds barely know how to make a hut that doesn't fall over.

I'm gonna clim-

oh crap oh crap I can't get down

>>399485
Extend your wing and jump. Flutter softly to the ground like a maple seed.

Half-climb, half-flutter-down-like-a-maple-seed.

yes! fluttering down like a maple seed is the way to go

Scream for help.

Slide down the trunk using your claws.

>>399490
Do this while masturbating to a sexual fantasy of tentacle guy

Somebody call the kobold fire department!

dont be such a baby. just climb down the thing.

everyone knows going down is easier than coming up.

Flare 2012/04/08(Sun)17:36 No. 399513 ID: 5b48d7
File 133393177543.jpg - (198.95KB , 1000x600 , flarey flies.jpg )

OK this should be easy, I can just drift down like aaaaaAAAAAAAAA aaaaaaaa AAAAAAA aaaaaaaa AAAA aaaaaaaaaaa AAAAAA IIII CCAAaaaaAAAnnT StoooOOOp!!
>CRASH!

Flare 2012/04/08(Sun)17:37 No. 399514 ID: 5b48d7
File 133393182121.jpg - (160.79KB , 1000x600 , flarey lands.jpg )

Ow. I'm hurt.

Get up you dumb cow

OH GOD GET UP

PLEASE GET UP

Up, Flarey! Thar's elves in these woods!

Get up, lard ass. Maybe if you didn't eat so much you would drift more delicately.

you look fine to me.

you should get up.

How badly hurt? Assess your injuries! Any missing limbs?

Now would be a good time to pleasure yourself to tentacle guy

Flare 2012/04/08(Sun)18:57 No. 399558 ID: 5b48d7
File 133393663698.jpg - (190.37KB , 1000x600 , flareys problems.jpg )

Screw you all! Nothing's broken, but I'm still hurt! Ugh! I'm covered in blood, look!

It goes well with your skin color, Flarey! YOU LOOK FABULOUS

>>399558
Get over it. Maybe if you weren't a freak with one wing, you wouldn't be in this predicament.

Flarey are you missing some of your bling?

Oh jeez that is a lot of blood. Uh... let's get you somewhere safe and hidey so you can lick your wounds or something. Whatever it is you do.

So survey your surroundings, I guess.

Bling is clearly the priority here. Is it all intact? Blood is unimportant, you regrow it anyway.

>>399558
Okay, before you get up, try and focus and see what parts hurt the worst. Make sure you don't have any broken bones.

>>399558
Gronk for help.

i agree, gather the bling first.

then you should probably try to clean yourself up and get some rest.

or carry on if you up for it.

>>399558
Ouch, you sure are. Does being a dragon mean you heal well? Oh, and make sure you didn't drop any of your bling.

Ouch. Is there anything nearby you could use to stop the bleeding?

Get your jewelry and keep moving.

Maybe the elves will heal you or something.

>>399558

Embarassing...

look for a water source to wash yourself. I'm sure all that leafy shit in your wounds can't be healthy for your lovely complexion.

That... that is your blood, right? What did your whirling fury destroy exactly?

Hm. Tentacle guy is probably going to come up behind you and give you a spaghetti breakfast if you don't get up, gather your bling, and enslave the elves for miners right now.

>>399558

It's fine, you're a dragon. You're built to wreck shit. Is that your blood or did you just wreck someone else's shit? Also go find your arm and leg bling. You look naked without them.

Flare 2012/04/09(Mon)14:29 No. 399797 ID: 5b48d7
File 133400699508.jpg - (136.73KB , 1000x600 , reacquired stuff.jpg )

Of course it's my blood. I haven't seen anything else in this damned forest yet. Nothing is broken though. It will probably take like four days to heal! At least I found all my stuff.
And stop talking about that tentacle guy! I hate it!

Should I keep going west, or try to head around the mountain like I originally planned? Either way I'm waiting till morning to do it.

>>399797

I'm sorry Flare. We've been totally out of line, just because we were so excited to see you. Maybe we'll tone down the insults some after you sleep, and we can actually accomplish something.

you know you loved it~

why would you head west? there's only boldlings and their war machines west.

actually, chances are they're advancing towards your lair and you'll have to go on a slaughter fest eventully, but that's for way later.

>>399815
West is to the lair. You're thinking of EAST.

>>399817

oh yeah. nevermind.

Do you have the ability to carry things?

If so, let's head back for the gold.

If not, let's just keep going home through the forest.

>>399797
home sounds good actually...

Flare 2012/04/10(Tue)17:46 No. 400169 ID: 5b48d7
File 133410520145.jpg - (189.53KB , 1000x600 , frest.jpg )

Something is weird, I've been walking through here all day and I haven't seen any elfs or any signs of life but a couple of birds and a shitload of gross bugs. Ugh, why aren't there any elfs that I can get food from? I had to eat some mushrooms off of a log! I should make it back in a few days at this pace.

Is there any reason your eye is like that, or am I just imagining things?

Try eating some bugs!

>>400169

Maybe the elves got killed by the kobolds. And without elvish bug cuisine the bugs have overpopulated. Wait...

>> mushrooms off a log

Hold on let me go get my popcorn.

Mushroom Samba, yay!

eat some more mushrooms.

>>400169
And eat some berries, yum yum.

Flare 2012/04/11(Wed)17:42 No. 400419 ID: 5b48d7
File 133419136003.jpg - (203.86KB , 1000x600 , acepilot.jpg )

Well I'm not hungry, but I'll eat some more mushrooms just in case. There's no berries down here and I'm not eating any bugs, that's gross.

Oh crap! I hear voices! They sound like some people arguing in some language I can't understand.

don't hide like a pussy. approach like the proud dragon you are.

>>400419
There's a doobie in that group. You won't have to worry about language.

You hear voices. Uh huh. Do go on.

That's a weird looking doobie!

Try to hide your giant red self and listen in.

>>400419
One of them is wearing a red and golden cloak. You simply must complement them on their ensemble, darling.

>>400419
Stalk them at a distance, maybe they will take you to some place that has treasure.

>>400419
Ask if they have any cheese.

You should definitely ask them if they have any cheese.

Flare 2012/04/12(Thu)20:52 No. 400692 ID: 5b48d7
File 133428914323.jpg - (281.33KB , 1000x600 , weird looking party.jpg )

...

"Hi, I'm Flare. do you guys have any food?"
Whoa what a bunch of freaks! They all look weird and are all wearing ridiculous clothing!

The one in red is gesturing excitedly. His hands are glowing red!

"Ghark na effle gahumph snort! Groon blargh morng!"
I can't understand him at all other than his face is ugly.

:sa'ra: "Hi there, Flare. My name is Sa'rali'a Le!chyen, and these are my traveling companions, Theophrastus and Crassus.

"Oh good, somebody who knows draconic!"
"It's a little more complicated, but that's good enough. Where are we exactly? Crassus only knew that this jump was safe, not anything about this world."

:flare: What the hell are they going on about?

She tells the ugly one to calm down and he does. It's like he understands what she's saying in Draconic, but I can't understand anything he says! Something weird is going on here.

"So where did you come from then? This is the Elfy Forest. That mountain to the north is Dragon's Horn Mountain"
"I'm afraid that's even more complicated. Does this world have a name?"

"I dun-." .. hmm, wait. "You may call it Flare's World, because I live here!"

"Would you mind helping us get out of this forest?"

what should I do about this?

first of all? these guys can end you. don't mess with them. especially spessdood over there.

as for the second part... how do you feel about visitors in your lair?

>>400692
Sure, help them out of the forest, but say it'll cost 'em. Do they have anything they can pay you with? It's just compensation for your time, you're not robbing them or anything... not like you COULD. Also ask what sort of place they'd like to go to.

>>400692
Nobody can resist the charms of the magnificent space doobie.

Besides, beats elves as company for the walk home.

You see a "red one" gesturing with glowing hands? Speaking a language you cannot understand? Tell me, are you seeing any rainbows or distortions on the edge of your vision?

>>400757

well, she DID just chow down on more than a handful of some unidentified mushrooms...

>>400424
>There's a doobie in that group. You won't have to worry about language.
Mind explaining the fluff behind this? It's been a while.

>>400862

Doobies can speak any language. They also regenerate infinitely no matter how injured. They are automatically the best at everything.

Flare 2012/04/13(Fri)20:06 No. 400973 ID: 5b48d7
File 133437278675.png - (81.97KB , 1000x600 , mouseupdate01 copy.png )

I'm not leading them to my lair, only my ogre knows where that is. Not even my dwarfs know its exact location.

"Well, I do know the way out of this forest. You may follow me"
"What would you like in compensation? What do your people use for money? Or would you rather have something else? We have a few different kinds of cash, as well as some weapons, food, and other items. Should we expect any hostile creatures here?"

"hmm, the elves usually leave you alone unless you start a big fire or something. They shouldn't be much of a problem. There might be some big animals or something, but they'll probably stay away."

[unintelligible]

"He wants to know. what kind of technology do your people use?"

" I have dragon powers. There's kobolds if you walk a day or so east, they have mud and stick technology, and the really smart ones might have a rock. The elves, well, the do some kind of tree magic or something"

is there anything else I should mention? What should I ask for?

Ask for snacks.

>>400973

Say them you'll tell more if they give you food. Then tell them about the underground city.

ask for a second wing.

>>400973
Ask if they have any space cheese.

the dwarves make crazy crap all the time. like giant magma powered crushers and shit. but so long as you stay out of the forts you should be safe, since it's built into the mountains.

Flare 2012/04/14(Sat)14:24 No. 401104 ID: 5b48d7
File 133443866515.jpg - (246.71KB , 1000x600 , mouseupdate02 copy.jpg )

"Have you got any exotic cheeses? I'll want some snacks later."
"we have some in a can, is that good enough?"
hmm, I've never seen that before. "Yes, that looks good. There's an underground city somewhere around here, full of creeps with bug armor on and weird looking goblins. I can lead you to them but they might be hostile. I don't think you'd fit in the hole either, you're kind of big."
"Oh that's not a problem. We can always blast a bigger hole."
"sniff, sniff. [unintelligible noises]"
"There's a group of something watching us from the trees, don't look up. What should we do? There's about five of them, he thinks."

"Snort hmoon skronk [unintelligible]"
"No, don't just start blasting things again. If you're going to do anything open us a portal so we can run, if we need to. Flare, if this is those elves you were talking about what should we do?"

hmm, I'm not sure.


>>401039
Shut up, I don't need one.

ROLL FOR PERCEPTION.

I mean...

Use your keen dragon senses to get a bearing on your stalkers.

if they are small then bolds in trees. if not then elves.
if elves then they should loudly declare they do not intend to harm the forest.

>>401104
You DO need a second wing, you can't even glide. C'mon, you could get a cool robot wing or something. Maybe even one with some gold trim and gems on it...

As for the elves, act like they aren't there. Just like, move along with your business.

One wing is fine if you also have a jetpack. You can't tell me Flaretype is a bad idea.

Tell them it's PROBABLY elves, but you haven't seen any around today, and if you are not looking up, there is no way to be sure. If it IS elves, they are probably just making sure we are not about to set fire to the forest or something. They can be sort of insufferable, but they don't usually attack without talking first.

Flare 2012/04/15(Sun)13:26 No. 401487 ID: ada235
File 133452159648.jpg - (278.62KB , 1000x600 , out of the forest.jpg )

I tell her to tell them that we are just passing though and won't do anything to the forest. I think that worked because we didn't see any elfs in the last few days.
We made it out, I think I know where we are now. There's that thing again, too.

[unintelligible]
"Yes, I think that looks like an airship, too. I thought you said this was a medieval world?"
"A what? This is the second time I've seen that thing."
"snuffle snort [unintelligible] gronk."
"Don't do that! They might not be hostile and we don't want to just attack people for no reason. I'm sure there's another way to get up there."
"hnph."
"Using brute force magic isn't the way to solve everything. Flare, do you think we should pursue them?"

I wonder what kind of magic he uses that can get way up there on that thing? I don't like the direction it's headed, which is close to my Dragon's Lair. They probably won't be able to see it from way up there though unless somebody made a fire or something while I was gone.

..And shut up about my wing! It's fine just like it is.

Yeah lets follow it just to make sure it isint headed for our lair. Also ask your new friends where do they even want to go now that we are out of the forest

fine, you're a unique little snowflake who is just fine the way she is. we get it. but you gotta admit, being able to fly would be awesome.

tell them you totally should pursue them.

>>401487
It's a new thing, you should definitely check it out.

>>401487
We must persue dirigibles.

>>401487
Yeah we should find out where that thing is going. Be prepared to suggest blasting the shit out of it if it gets close to your lair.

>>401487
i smell dirigibolds...

Considering the doobie's attitude, I'm pretty sure that ugly flatfaced guy is talking about the magical equivalent to a catapult or cannon. Not that I would suggest that of course, since you couldn't handle something that powerful.

Flare 2012/04/16(Mon)16:02 No. 401835 ID: ada235
File 133461736399.jpg - (225.57KB , 1000x600 , the plan.jpg )

>>401489
It's definitely headed in the right direction. Well, the wrong one as far as I'm concerned.

"So he can just blow it up with magic or what?"
"Well, it's more complicated than tha-
"Cnuff gronk snuff"
"OK fine, I'll tell her your plan. He wants to tear a hole in reality and hope it doesn't start spilling monsters out everywhere so somebody can go through it and take over whoever's controlling that dirigible. We'd have to think of some way to get them to come within range though. My plan would be to leave it alone and not go starting trouble."
"Well, I think we should follow it, They're headed towards my l- my lands and I don't them to set fire to my stuff or something."
"Well, if we need to do something we need to do it soon, we can't keep up with something that flies in a straight line when we have to cut through all this brush."

>>401500
Good to see you came to your senses.

Sounds like we need to get their attention so they turn around. Ask if they can cause any big flashy lights or shoot something at it, or something.

Unleash da powers and tear da reality

it's a huge reality.

that means it has huge guts.

>>401835
Maybe start a fire? I dunno, like >>401864
said, flashy type stuff, I mean, you're a dragon, you are certainly suited to drawing attention.

Flare 2012/04/18(Wed)11:18 No. 402171 ID: c950c6
File 133477313792.jpg - (293.08KB , 1000x600 , stump.jpg )

OK, I found a tree stump to set on fire, we can pile stuff up around it to make lots of smoke. The plan is to set it on fire to get their attention.

"Snork gronk garble snuff [excited gesturing]"

"OK, here's how it works, if he manages to open up a portal without summoning a demon, one person can go through it at a time. There's probably not a lot of room on that ship, so one of us will have to go through alone. I have weapons, Cassus does as well. I assume you can take two or three people in close quarters as well? What should the plan be?"

"Gronkle snort"

"You said that last time you accidentally summoned one, too. Oh, yeah. Every time he casts a spell, there's a chance he summons something by accident."
"snorf blorf!"
"OK it's not a very high chance, but there's still a chance. If more than one of us needs to go through that's that much more of a chance of it happening."

Whoever's the toughest. Right now you're a bit wounded, and should say so.

of the races that could build a flying machine would bet Dorfs. they are insane enough to try it. can you take on a group of dorfs if you have surprise? remember, fire doesn't slow them down.

>>402171
Doobie goes through first because he can take the most hits. You follow. Dog-dude goes last.

>>402171

I say we take two chances. Someone with weapon skills and then Flare. Others wait.

everyone here is badass. we can handle a little accidentally summoned horrorterror from beyond.

>>402321
Sigh. I guess.

Flare 2012/04/21(Sat)12:05 No. 402926 ID: c950c6
File 133503514776.jpg - (229.32KB , 1000x600 , the hole.jpg )

"Ig-nahul-gahronkras Gyungnuflagh Farnunlgl Zokrkstahl Fnaghnarlk"

Oh shit! A hole opens in the middle of the air, it's black as death and hard to look at. She asks the grey guy if it safe, he nods.

"OK, it's safe, grab my tail!"

umm, this looks unsafe. If I grab her tail and go through what should I do when we get to the other side?

>>402926
thrust your hips to the side

Breathe fire on anything that isn't him, obviously.

>>402926

Oh god it's a hyperbridge not a hypertorus.

Don't touch the edge if you feel like existing.

>>402926
Well, looking around would be a good start, so we know exactly how much to panic.

I mean if you don't feel like being reminded of how you can't fly, glide, or avoid plummeting to earth like a big gloopy dollup of mayonnaise, it's probably a good idea not to set fire to the airship you're going to be inside.

Don't forget about that alien with the hat. WTF can he do anyway. Once you jump through assess the situation.

quick Flarey grab Sa'ra's tail

ADVENTURE

>>402926

Enter the hole

Grab that tail like it's a second wing!

Flare 2012/04/26(Thu)14:10 No. 404924 ID: c950c6
File 133547464597.jpg - (271.69KB , 1000x600 , portal.jpg )

>>403145
I don't know what that guy does, he hasn't said anything the whole time. He seems to know if the portal is safe or not though.

OK HERE WE GO! It's like stepping through a doorway or something, there's this little room on the other side, but right after we get through, it closed!


"HANDS IN THE AIR! NOBODY MOVE!"


There's kobolds in this little room! And they're weirdly dressed. I don't know what's going on, but they stop whatever they're doing. I can't understand anything they're saying because it's some made up kobold language nonsense.

So what now? Sa-ra-whatever can understand what they're saying, and I think they can understand her. Either that or they're listening to that thing she has, I think it's a weapon.

ask them why they are in this area. and where they got this flying thing.

Kobolds? How weird! This flying thing isn't made out of sticks, rocks and poop, perchance?

>>404926

agreed, it's interrogation time.

Find out how many more kobolds are aboard and where they are.

>>404924

Ask them what the hell they were doing. This is weird.

>>404924
Find out where they're going and what they were planning to do with this thing.

Oh yeah also let's go down to pick up the other guy.

>>404935
Lick a nearby surface to check.

>>404924
interrogate

Flare 2012/04/28(Sat)06:32 No. 405412 ID: c950c6
File 133561995281.jpg - (227.96KB , 1000x600 , dirigibolds.jpg )

:flare: They have some kind of weapons she makes them put in the corner, and she makes sure they're not armed with anything else.

"Hey, shut up! I'll ask the questions here. Yes I can understand everything you're saying, so you'll talk when I ask you a question if you know what's good for you!"


"All right, there's five crewmembers, two of them in the back. They're on some kind of scouting and mapping mission. They seem to be after some kind of 'elves,' which you said live in the forest, right?"

"This is an airship, it's a craft that's lighter than air. They're usually used for going long distances with minimal fuel use, making it ideal for such a mission. Haven't you seen one before? It floats in the air the same way a log floats in water."

"Their base of operations is apparently a few days travel north of here."

"Ask them where they got this thing from."

"They said they're members of the 3rd Air Force expeditionary group. One of them is saying that if they don't report back there will definitely be more of them showing up. I'm going to let you make that call though."

I am not licking anything that nasty little kobold feet have been all over. It's metal.

>>405412
Get the doobie lass to round up the two in the back before they twig they've been boarded and start causing trouble.

If any of these three move, you are a dragon, they are dumb little bolds with no guns.

Okay what's the longterm strategy though? We should probably round them all up. We need them to not come back here if possible, but if we kill them all, the main force of them will send another scouting party.

We can leave the other two to guard these guys (they came aboard, didn't they) and go find the other two. Basically, see if you can't get the doobie to convince them that if they go further into the area, there is no way their ships won't be destroyed. You could point out how easily their ship was infiltrated.

If you can rat out the elves without revealing the location of your base, then there's no real harm in doing that. Just tell them to report that there is nothing interesting over this way, except the elves are right there. Hopefully that can keep them away from your horde.

Or we could steal the airship. That's an option too. An awesome option. See what the doobie and her people want to do.

>>405456

if we can't use our wings, I mean wing, we'll use helium! commence taking over the ship.

Flare! You're flying! Find a window find a window find a window

Flare 2012/05/04(Fri)22:12 No. 408147 ID: c950c6
File 133619472843.jpg - (130.55KB , 1000x600 , gronking out the window.jpg )

We are pretty high up in the air. The other two couldn't go through because of some portal something or another, I wasn't paying attention. She explains to them that they can go free as long as they don't interfere with us, and that we can destroy their stuff or whatever.
"Ok, go get the other two then. What do you want to do with them?"

"I don't want to get into this, if it's not us they're after. It's your call though. I don't think either one of us can fit through that door in the first place."

Hmm, I am pretty muscular. I'm not sure what I'd do with this thing if I took it over.

GRONK GRONK GRONK GRONK GRONK GRONK GRONK GRONK

Press nose against glass

>>408147
Flare, this looks like the perfect way to find that dragon that stole your gold. You can fly around and scout out his lair from the air.

ask those two why they're here and what they're trying to do.

Go through the door you are most likely to fit through, and search for any remaining crew. Then disable them and bring them back here.

go though the back door first, but first check if sa-ra has some butter or soap to grease up your fat ass so it don't get stuck

Flare 2012/05/13(Sun)18:08 No. 411454 ID: c950c6
File 133695772502.jpg - (170.59KB , 1000x600 , goofy time.jpg )

Apparently they're trying to kill all the elves or something. I don't care, elves never did anything for me. I don't speak kobold because it's a gross language so I don't know how I could take over this thing and make them do what I say, but that would be useful.

Shut up, I can totally fit through here, I'm just not going in all the way because there might be traps!

Anyway, it looks like there's some boxes and stuff and the other two kobolds are asleep.

okay good. so no risk of sneak attacks. even if you could beat them easy it would be annoying. hmm... that rope and hook. could you make them tie it to that rock of gold ore and bring it in the ship? then drop the rock off near your mountain. not right near your home just a lot closer.

>>411454

snorgle all over the sleeping kobolds. For research purposes.

Pull that lever

>>411454
Find out what the lever does before we pull it.

pull lever
>advicedog.jpg
get snapped in two by closing door

seriously though, don't leave them here, they might sabotage the ship or escape or call in help or something. burn 'em if nothing else.

>>411483
They'll most probably only sleep past the hijacking unless you make lots of noises.

>>411462
As a man of science I am compelled to concur with this fine suggestion.

Flare 2012/05/15(Tue)20:41 No. 412410 ID: c950c6
File 133713966218.jpg - (198.93KB , 1000x600 , pulls the lever.jpg )

>>411461
Maybe, but that might let them know I live around here.
>>411462
I don't know what that means but it sounds gross and I don't really want to touch them.

I'm pulling on this thing and nothing is happening. I can't get it to go down. There's a bunch of kobold scribble-crap near it but nobody can read that stuff.

looks like it has a lock on it. on the swivel part.

>>412410
Yeah there's a lock on it.

But I don't think you should actually pull it, unless you can confirm that it won't close the door on you.

What I think it does is open the bay doors for use of the winch, here.

Flare 2012/05/20(Sun)20:18 No. 414605 ID: 4c90a9
File 133757028372.jpg - (113.65KB , 1000x600 , even her hand is fat.jpg )

Oh, hey, it looks like you have to pull out this thing first. I think it does open some trap doors, there's a drawing of something like that near it. Should I still do it?

Talk to your buddy about it first.

>>414605
Well if you can get that hook line to drop down through it from here, it's one way for the others to get aboard demon-free.

>>414605
I say don't pull it unless you're all the way out of the door way first, just in case. So enter the room, slowly/ cautiously, sticking near the doorway since we're worried about traps. Then, gently pull the lock from the lever, and then pull the lever.

and don't forget to gronk

pull lever

>>414605
Pull eeeet

Flare 2012/05/22(Tue)20:28 No. 415248 ID: 4c90a9
File 133774370946.jpg - (188.03KB , 1000x600 , flare is too fat to fit through the door.jpg )

I'm too muscular to fit through this door without making a lot of noise. I'll just pull it from here. Looks like it opens the floor! Now what do I do with those kobolds that just woke up?

Oh no the jig is up! Back up out of there before you get stuck!

what makes the grass grow?

shoot a small fireball and yell at them.

Yell "Fuck you! I'm a dragon!"

If they reach for weapons or whatever breathe fire on them.

>>415248
moon them

>>415248
Charm them with your irresistable beauty.

Flare 2012/05/23(Wed)20:19 No. 415550 ID: 4c90a9
File 133782954580.jpg - (231.89KB , 1000x600 , that was dumb.jpg )

OK I made a little fire and now they're panicking! I guess they know not to mess with a dragon!

Oh crap, I think one of them has got a weapon! I'm going to roast it unless somebody has a better idea.


>>415251
Animal poop or something? I don't know.

>>415550
That's a fire extinguisher, silly. That crate is almost certainly explosive.

Also, these bolds are waaaay smarter than you. Tech is a lot better.

ROAST IT!

that's a fire putter outer. he got it cause he doesn't want his box on fire anymore.

>>415553
If he doesn't, Murphy's Law says it'll probably explode and ruin your jewelry.

Don't roast the one with the red thing with the nozzle.

Clearly the thingy that is on fire should not be on fire. Knock that box what's on fire out of the bay, through the big hole in the floor.

Don't set the airship on fire while you're still riding it; You'll break it, and fall hundreds of feet. Back up, close the door, and tell Sa'ra to get over here and order these 'bolds to surrender so you don't have to waste any more of your flame. She's not as "muscular" as you, so she could fit through the doorway if need be. Go sit on the other three to keep them from trying anything.

>>415926

Not fall. Glide gracefully like a descending maple seed. Remember what happened before? :3c

Flare 2012/05/27(Sun)19:37 No. 416565 ID: 4c90a9
File 133817265761.jpg - (188.04KB , 1000x600 , flarey takes a load to the face.jpg )

"Come in here and get these two to sur-GAGhglfrp!" This shit tastes horrible!

"What did you do, set something on fire?"
"pthr- Yes!"
"Don't use fire in here, the whole thing could explode!" "You two, get in here and stand with the others!"

OK, the -ptht- fire is out and the other kobolds have been rounded up. I can probably crawl through here now if I should still knock that box out of the hole or something.

Yep, that's fire extinguisher gas you inhaled. Squeeze your shapely, muscular buttocks through that doorway, and make a little fire-breath out the floor hatch to make sure the gas didn't mess with your flame. Then go over and open up those crates, and look around for any more things you can open, like boxes, doors, and hatches.

While you're doing that, shout in to Sa'ra to ask if you should lower the winch cable down to her colleagues, or if she'd rather get the kobolds to land this flying heap instead.

Open the box. Also get back at the one with the fire extinguisher.

Ask Ms. Tall Two-Eyes what's next, then do it.

Go tell the doobie that you found the hatch and we can use it to pick up his buddy.

>>416628
That.

well "gas" being an inaccurate way to describe baking soda powder. mmm, baking soda

Flare 2012/05/30(Wed)09:13 No. 417356 ID: 65b447
File 133839440817.jpg - (163.61KB , 1000x600 , driblis style update.jpg )

I take the kobold's thing from him and throw it out of the hole. Ptht. Nasty crap. Now let's dig though this treasure. Crap, it's not treasure! Looks like a bunch of clothes, some blankets, some red things and some green metal containers with no lid. The other box has some water in it instead of the containers. There's also some maps and mapping supplies in the first room. I'm not sure what to do with this stuff. I found some backpacks too but the one I opened only had a bunch of cloth and string inside it.

"What is this junk?"
"They say it's survival supplies and rations. Looks like they really are on a scouting mission. What should we do with them?"

light a flare, Flare.

Tell 'em that if they drive this flying boat to within winch distance of where the smoke plume is coming from, they can get off there. Otherwise, they're getting off right here and now.

While they're moving this gas-bag into position, take a look at those maps. You want to know where kobolds that can build, or steal, a flying machine like this one, are coming from. They might be a threat, or at least an annoying nuisance.

Ask Sa'ra if either she or her friends can fly this heap. If not, then you'll keep the pilot, and throw the rest overboard at the destination. If so, then they all go out the hatch to take dirt naps, once you get there. Make sure to strip them first, so they can't be identified by anyone.

Once Sa'ra and her buddies have control of this airship, they can give you a lift over or around the mountains, to that cave you left your ogre in; You don't want to land anywhere near your lair, if possible. If they can go over, ask if they can go by where that underground river came out, so you can collect that gold.

Eat some rations!

>>417483
Oh, and grab a water bottle to wash the taste of fire extinguisher powder out of your mouth.

Flare 2012/05/30(Wed)19:57 No. 417527 ID: 65b447
File 133843305022.jpg - (284.75KB , 1000x600 , literacy is overrated.jpg )

OK, they're landing it now, let's have a look at this map. It's got kobold scribblings all over it in red, but I think I know what everything is here. Let me label it... I'll eat a few of these here while I'm doing it; whatever this crap is in the green wrapping doesn't taste that good but the red things are all right. I had to eat like four or five of them to get the nasty taste out of my mouth from that other thing.
The mountains are where my secret lair is, and where I get my stuff made. The forest is where the elfs are, and the swamp is where the kobolds come from. There's some badlands to the west but I haven't really been there a lot because it gets really cold at night and I don't like being really cold all night.

I don't think I want to strip kobolds, that sounds gross and I'd rather not touch them.
"Can the snorty guy or the other guy that never says anything control this thing?"

"None of us are pilots, we normally travel on the ground most places."

Ok, so I can dump the rest of them on the ground, pick up the other two, then either go to the waterfall or near the first cave. Which one should I go to?

Pick up Sa'ra's buds, and leave all the snotbolds, minus the pilot, behind. Throw those shitty green rations at them as you take off.

Well, now you have a way to haul that boulder with the gold veins in it away. Head on back to the waterfall and see if you can use that winch to pull it up. Failing that, you at least have stuff to carry the gold once you melt it out. It'd just be more if the dwarfs did the job instead. Actually, how fast does this ship go, anyway? Still faster than walking, I'd guess.

...Come to think of it, what happened to that lorkhe chick? The one who dropped that gas thingie back in the underground city. Wonder if she came out the same waterfall as you.

>>417527
Eat the bolds you're a dragon goddamn

>>417565
Hey, Flare's got standards, man. She's not going to eat 'bolds; They're practically vermin... Though, if they were smothered in melted cheese it would be another thing entirely.

>>417561
I guess that.

you just ate processed zombie.

Flare 2012/06/02(Sat)21:18 No. 418330 ID: 8cf4e4
File 133869711407.jpg - (187.29KB , 1000x600 , throw it out.jpg )

>>417561
I don't know, we got separated when I went into the river. I'm not sure how I'd get back there, and I don't particularly want to.

As far as this thing, it's a lot faster than walking. I figure we can get to that rock and take it but it will take another day or so if we want to do that.

>>417565
Ugh no they're probably poison or something.

>>417684
No, I think it's made out of those bulb looking things you find in the swamp. They arent' very good.

OK, that looks like everything. I threw all of that crap out so now there's some room in here.

Let's see... Space made in the cargo hold for gold: check. Extraneous kobolds jettisoned: check. Sa'ra's comrades and their supplies all aboard: check. Looks like you're all ready to go. Close the hatch, grab the map, and point out to Sa'ra and the pilot you want to go to that waterfall you came out of.

On the way there, ask Sa'ra what her merry little band of misfits is going to do now that they've got air transport. They going to look for a way off-world, or stick around and see the sights? Also ask what they were expecting when they came to this world, and why they came here.

You think that ogre, Ebrog, is still waiting at that cave entrance? He'd be most helpful in moving that gold ore boulder back to your lair, once you finally get there.

Flare 2012/06/03(Sun)09:17 No. 418387 ID: 8cf4e4
File 133874025651.jpg - (115.92KB , 1000x600 , erotic nose.jpg )

All right, we have the rock.

>>418331
He better be, it's only been a few days or something. That lazy-! I bet he went back to his house. That's close to my secret Lair though, and I don't really want all these people to know where it is.

"So why did you come here anyway? Are you gonna stay or get out of here as soon as you can?"
"Well, we kind of jumped into the first safe portal we found. There were some unpleasant things following us that hopefully can't open it. I'm pretty sure this is a 'dirt world,' so the sooner we can get back on track the better. We're looking for a specific item. supposedly it can be used to create a bridge of sorts to a specific place we want to go. Only problem is, we haven't exactly been able to find out what it is yet. We know it exists, just not anything else."

Nothing left to do here but head on back 'round the mountains to that cave. On the way, ask Sa'ra if her band of fellows has something that can easily get the gold out of this boulder. However, if it involves Pug-Face the Magician ripping a demon-hole in the world, you'll pass. Once you get there, if they didn't have a way to get the gold out, drop the rock off, and dragon-flame it until the gold melts out. That'll make it much easier to carry back most of it, and you can gather a team to haul the rest later.

Ask Sa'ra how the hell they plan on finding something that they don't know the size, shape, or color of, and that could be anywhere in the world. Are they going to delve every tunnel and cavern, climb every mountain, and check every nook and cranny in the world?

Flare 2012/06/17(Sun)14:51 No. 423598 ID: 8cf4e4
File 133996986007.jpg - (188.97KB , 1000x600 , rock.jpg )

"so how do you know what you're looking for if you don't know what it looks like"
" Well, it's a lot more complicated than that. Don't bother worrying about it, I probably can't explain it to you."

OK, we have the rock now, it's the middle of the night by the time we get here though. I have a few options I can try now...

Flare 2012/06/17(Sun)14:53 No. 423600 ID: 8cf4e4
File 133996999251.jpg - (318.41KB , 893x600 , map-flare3.jpg )

...I found some more of those things to write with, here's where all the stuff I know is. Too bad those kobolds scribbled all kinds of stuff on it already.

Nobody is at the cave, so I can either go directly to the dwarfs or I can go to my ogre's house and see if he's there. Alternately I could drop this off by my Lair and worry about it later.

I think they misspelled 'dorf'.

well, if it's some high-tech thing, the dorfs should have it.

Go to the ogre's place and give the lazy bum an earful for leaving so soon, and tell him to go up to the cave and roll the gold ore boulder from there over to the dwarves. In the mean time you'll head to the dwarves and tell them to meet up with the ogre and help transport the ore back. You want that thing turned into some nice bling right away. You've got a load of slots for jewelry that need filling.

...Oh, but before heading off, show the map to Sa'ra and ask if she can tell you what that kobold scribble-scratch means.

>>423630
This.

Flare 2012/06/24(Sun)09:29 No. 425577 ID: b68af5
File 134055534563.jpg - (182.37KB , 1000x600 , yurt.jpg )

OK, we're here. What do I do with this float ship thing? I can't just ride around in it all the time.

"Can you read this crap?"
"No, I can't. I can speak any language, that doesn't extend to written word."
"This is a good place for us to get off as well, I think there's a weak spot nearby."

OK, now what? I can have my ogre bring the rock to my dwarfs, but what do I do about this kobold thing?

get your dorfs to build a dock for it near your lair. and give it a snazzy paintjob. it's yours now.

Can we drop the rock off and then just crash the airship into something?

While having a flying chariot to ride around in is nice, it sticks out like a sore thumb; Best to leave it here to recover later, after the dwarves make a hidden dock for it. Make the kobold driver find a nearby clearing, pull in as low as he can and drop anchor.

Kick the gold ore boulder out, tie up and blindfold the kobold driver, and carry him to the ground, and tell your ogre to carry them both to the dwarves. You're keeping the kobold alive 'cause he's the only one around that knows how to fly this boat, and the dwarves'll want to interrogate him about that. Head back to the dwarves place, tell them where to pick up the flying machine from, and to start digging out a hidden dock for it.

Flare 2012/07/01(Sun)19:54 No. 428014 ID: b68af5
File 134119769373.jpg - (209.39KB , 1000x600 , here we go.jpg )

OK, important things first, let me push this gold out of here and- OH FU-HNRRK!

Flare 2012/07/01(Sun)19:56 No. 428015 ID: b68af5
File 134119780748.jpg - (311.11KB , 1000x600 , here we go2.jpg )

HRRK! "AAAHGH! Get me down!"
"Are you OK?" "NO! THe kobold is getting away!" Shit, he must have used his shirt to slide down the rope!

Dammit! That snotbold gets away, and this whole area is going to be flooded with 'bolds inside a month, looking for you!

As best you can, bend around and point your maw at the kobold and flame-breath him. If you miss, call up to Sa'ra and her crew to fire on the 'bold. If they miss, just get untangled. There's plenty of snow for him to leave tracks in for you and your ogre to follow.

go fwoosh.

grab and throw him overboard.

Your ass is huge! He is literally using your huge ass as a platform!

>>428015
Shit shit shit! Kill 'm! Quick!

Flare 2012/07/07(Sat)14:11 No. 429971 ID: 72dd1c
File 134169548666.jpg - (218.59KB , 1000x600 , bad shot.jpg )

Crap! I missed! "Get that kobold before it gets away!

I can't see it through all this steam!"
"Blarf snork!"

2/3 Flare 2012/07/07(Sat)14:15 No. 429975 ID: 72dd1c
File 134169571195.jpg - (307.98KB , 1000x600 , pugmage.jpg )

>>428363
AND YOU SHUT UP! MY ASS IS NOT A -GHRK!

"Egch chklcagn hrkgths kugnufau.."

Oh crap what is he doing? He's running after it but I can't see through all this stea-

Flare 2012/07/07(Sat)14:19 No. 429978 ID: 72dd1c
File 134169594432.jpg - (250.61KB , 1000x600 , zap mothafucker.jpg )

"somebody get me down from h-"
KRAK-BOOM!
OH SHI-
KRAK-BOOM!
A green lightning bolt just shot up out of the ground! Twice!
I really wish somebody would get me down. >>428028
Oh crap, maybe we shouldn't have let those other ones live.

First things first, yell out to your ogre to get over here and untangle you, then haul that gold ore to the dwarves. He'll hear you, since he's probably watching this show from a safe distance.

Now, what're you going to do with this big obvious floating gasbag? If you can't get your dwarves out here to figure out how to fly it away, or to take it apart and haul it back, you're going to have to get rid of it. It's a shame you won't have your own flying ship, but it'll give your general position away to any forward kobold scouts.

Depending on if the prevailing winds are away from your lair, you could just cut the airship loose and have it float off to crash far away. Sa'ra could also push the control levers until she finds the one that makes the airship go forward, and jam it all the way up. That'll get it away from here even faster.

>>429978

well then eat them all like a proper red dragon would

>>430023
What kind of scummy, low-brow red dragons have you been hanging around that deign to eat big-nosed vermin? You know Flare's a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, *gaaassp* very, very, very, very, very long way from starving enough to even contemplate eating a kobold. Besides, she left them on the other side of the mountain, so it's too late anyway.

yeah the hostages probably all need to die. Just shout at your ogre to get you down though! I mean, how useless is he?!

Man, pugs are terrifying.

Flare 2012/07/14(Sat)17:19 No. 432529 ID: 72dd1c
File 134231156157.jpg - (302.48KB , 1000x600 , dorf fort.jpg )

Hmm, the dwarfs just vomit constantly if they go above ground. I don't really want to watch that. I really don't think they'd be able to make this thing go or whatever, so we'll just cut it loose I guess.

>>430059
Exactly, they are probably poison. Hey, wait a minute...
Anyway, I need to think about what I want to get made. I don't know how much gold they will get out of this rock but it never hurts to have a plan.

"Wait, stop here. There's a spot we can use a little bit off the path in that cave. It's been fun meeting you! Where can we see you again if we come back to this world?"

Hmm, he's pointing to that spot that never freezes over and has the funny smell by it. I'm kind of curious what it is, and what he can do with it, but I want to get my gold to the dwarfs. I always thought that was weird. Should I tell them where my Dragon's Lair is? I'm going to have to bring the rock up to the dwarf cave myself, and you have to go in this one place or they won't trade with you, they are super weird. Is there anything else I should do when I go up there?

tell them where your lair is. tell the giant to roll the gold over there. then go watch them leave.

>>432534
Indeed. It would only be courteous (and curiosity-satisfying) to watch them depart.

And given you keep anything of value on yourself, and they didn't take any of several easy opportunities to mug you, you may as well tell them where your dank hole in the wall is.

>>432556
When they do depart, watch from a very safe distance, preferably while behind a large rock. You do not want to be nearby if pug-face or that strange grey guy fucks up and a demon or other horrid creature pops out.

>>432559
Yeah sure.

Flare 2012/07/21(Sat)13:34 No. 435092 ID: 0385fe
File 134290285222.jpg - (159.97KB , 1000x600 , different portal.jpg )

The grey one does something with his hands, and they just kind of, walk into thin air?

OK I need to think of something to have them make.

Flare 2012/07/21(Sat)13:36 No. 435093 ID: 0385fe
File 134290296518.jpg - (172.33KB , 1000x600 , trading post.jpg )

I have to come in here and sit on this rug or the'll ignore me, and it usually takes them an hour to send somebody over here to get it. Should I tell them anything other than what I want?

Hmm, what do I want?

>>435092
Love. To you.

You should get some bracers/bracelets made for your forelegs. I think that would look totally sweet. Make sure they are wide enough though.

Uh, ask them if they'd seen any snotbolds around.

>>435130
A matched set of bracers or bracelets sounds good, along with a ring to replace that one you gave away back Maiesio. Get a band for your left leg to match your right, and some earrings, if there's enough gold.

You could tell them about the 'bolds riding around in airships poking around the east side of the mountains, and that there's probably going to be more scouting around soon. Tell them about the underground city of Maiesio, and what you saw there; They may know more about it.

Get a second, gold-plated wing.

>>435166
>>435166
>>435166
>>435166
>>435166
>>435166

>>435166
this

Flare 2012/07/22(Sun)14:09 No. 435280 ID: 0385fe
File 134299138632.jpg - (213.61KB , 1000x600 , new stuff.jpg )

There is not going to be enough gold to make a whole wing out of. By my estimate I can get a bracer, a bracelet, and a horn ring out of it. I'll give them my order for that.

I have to go sit on a different rug and wait for ANOTHER one to show up if I want to tell them about anything. I'll tell them about the underground city and ask if they've seen kobolds around.

:dwarfmale:"We'll send some scoots to tha city ye said is there, but flyin' kobolds? You tell the bes' jokes me lady. We'll send out some soap makers to look for 'em though if ye want us to."
"If I tell you something that means it's true, I'm not joking. There's three kobolds out in the woods somewhere that I don't want getting back to wherever they came from. Send somebody out to look for them and take them out."
:dwarfmale:"aye, we'll do that. What should we do if we find that city?"

>>435280
>There is not going to be enough gold to make a whole wing out of.
That's why you gold plate a lesser metal, dunce.

>What should we do if we find that city?
Start queuing up large work orders in the siege workshop.

>>435280

How about a nice golden dragon dildo

Tell them they should probably just stay the hell away from it. You're pretty sure the leader wanted to eat you, and everyone there looks... sick.

>>435280
From what you saw and felt in your head, there's some major mind magic going on in there, and that's almost never good. You'd say to be cautious, and not antagonistic. Play it cool until weird shit starts happening.

If they find the city, they should take a cautious approach; Set up watch posts far back on the entrance tunnels, watch things for awhile, then send an envoy to make diplomatic contact and see what's what. If the envoy doesn't come back, or comes back raving about how great it is in there and they should all join up, it's time to worry. If the envoy comes back with an entourage, assume it's high-level mind-fuckers, and batten down the hatches, bar every door, collapse entry tunnels, activate every trap, and flood everything with lava; They will not get a second chance if the mind-screwers get in.

>>435283
With a masterwork variable-speed clockwork vibration mechanism, of course; Nothing but the best for Flare. Though if the dwarves had metal casting molds of that particular shape, it would be... disturbing, and not surprising in the least.

>>435283
>>435406
It better menace with spikes too.

Make a dildo. You aren't gonna get anything better anytime soon, tubby.

>>435453

I know at least one knight who'd disagree with you.

Tell them that there's also a lorkhe explorer gal you met in the city, and that she's the one you followed out down the river channel. If they found her she might have more to tell them about the city, since she was there much longer than you were. Give them a description of her.

Flare 2012/07/29(Sun)17:57 No. 437440 ID: 4df26b
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OK I don't know what you're getting at but whatever that is it doesn't sound like something you wear. I'll stick with what my original idea was.

About three days later a messenger tells me that they're done, but I want to sleep late so I decided to just go tonight. Ugh, the ugly moon is out tonight, too. I guess I should have waited till tomorrow. They haven't found that city yet, but they're still looking. Evidently there's no word from the party that went to go look for the kobolds. That doesn't sound promising. Oh crap, they shut the doors, too. They always do this when that ugly moon is out. Probably because they're stupid. They have a little door I can usually go bang on till somebody shows up or I could just go back home and wait till tomorrow.

>>437440
You don't know what a dildo is? No wonder you're so bitchy, you're pent-up as all hell.

And you *can* wear it if you include a strap. It's an artificial penis which is used to pleasure oneself or simulate penetration for a woman and another woman or a man in the case of pegging. You really, really need one.

>>437440

You seem to have hysteria-like syndromes and dildo is a recommended cure for most types of hysteria.

You should at least try to get an obsidian one... possible the one that doesn't menace with spikes

>>437443
>>437449
she can always find that tentacle dude again...

Damn inconvenient ugly moon, how often does that thing come out? Anyway, you've walked this far, you're not going to walk all the way back. Go bang on the door and yell in until they come up.

>>437452
Nah, the hydra thing was in that creepy underground city. It's either going to be the dragon dildo, raping a dragon guy, or finding an intelligent species where the males are of comparable size to dragon guys and either seducing, raping, or hiring one as a gigolo.

Dig into their citadel. Maybe they'll give you a dragon dildo as thanks for creating the new entrance.

>>437454
And why do you think we're trying to relocate the underground city? :V

Sit outside the little door and gronk plaintively before the Death Star can fire.

bang on the door, then.

>>437499
This.

Suggestion 2012/10/08(Mon)20:10 No. 461259 ID: c0e1ed
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I don't need one of those things, and I'm not going back to that horrible city. I bang on the door till somebody brings me my stuff. I don't know how often the stupid moon comes out, I don't keep track of unimportant stuff like that.

"Ye shouldn't be out me lady, it's a bad night"
"ok whatever I'll do what I want."
"It's a bad omen me lady. Ill fortune comes out wit' the red moon."
"I can beat whatever monsters are roaming around." Who knows with these dwarfs, it's probably something to do with socks or fish. I'm going to go home and eat my new cheese.

New cheese sounds far more inviting than fighting with dwarven stubbornness. Go eat thine cheese! It's not like the entire dwarven citadel is going anywhere; you can pick up your stuff tomorrow.