shoot a small fireball and yell at them.

Yell "Fuck you! I'm a dragon!"

If they reach for weapons or whatever breathe fire on them.

>>415248
moon them

>>415248
Charm them with your irresistable beauty.

Flare 2012/05/23(Wed)20:19 No. 415550 ID: 4c90a9
File 133782954580.jpg - (231.89KB , 1000x600 , that was dumb.jpg )

OK I made a little fire and now they're panicking! I guess they know not to mess with a dragon!

Oh crap, I think one of them has got a weapon! I'm going to roast it unless somebody has a better idea.


>>415251
Animal poop or something? I don't know.

>>415550
That's a fire extinguisher, silly. That crate is almost certainly explosive.

Also, these bolds are waaaay smarter than you. Tech is a lot better.

ROAST IT!

that's a fire putter outer. he got it cause he doesn't want his box on fire anymore.

>>415553
If he doesn't, Murphy's Law says it'll probably explode and ruin your jewelry.

Don't roast the one with the red thing with the nozzle.

Clearly the thingy that is on fire should not be on fire. Knock that box what's on fire out of the bay, through the big hole in the floor.

Don't set the airship on fire while you're still riding it; You'll break it, and fall hundreds of feet. Back up, close the door, and tell Sa'ra to get over here and order these 'bolds to surrender so you don't have to waste any more of your flame. She's not as "muscular" as you, so she could fit through the doorway if need be. Go sit on the other three to keep them from trying anything.

>>415926

Not fall. Glide gracefully like a descending maple seed. Remember what happened before? :3c

Flare 2012/05/27(Sun)19:37 No. 416565 ID: 4c90a9
File 133817265761.jpg - (188.04KB , 1000x600 , flarey takes a load to the face.jpg )

"Come in here and get these two to sur-GAGhglfrp!" This shit tastes horrible!

"What did you do, set something on fire?"
"pthr- Yes!"
"Don't use fire in here, the whole thing could explode!" "You two, get in here and stand with the others!"

OK, the -ptht- fire is out and the other kobolds have been rounded up. I can probably crawl through here now if I should still knock that box out of the hole or something.

Yep, that's fire extinguisher gas you inhaled. Squeeze your shapely, muscular buttocks through that doorway, and make a little fire-breath out the floor hatch to make sure the gas didn't mess with your flame. Then go over and open up those crates, and look around for any more things you can open, like boxes, doors, and hatches.

While you're doing that, shout in to Sa'ra to ask if you should lower the winch cable down to her colleagues, or if she'd rather get the kobolds to land this flying heap instead.

Open the box. Also get back at the one with the fire extinguisher.

Ask Ms. Tall Two-Eyes what's next, then do it.

Go tell the doobie that you found the hatch and we can use it to pick up his buddy.

>>416628
That.

well "gas" being an inaccurate way to describe baking soda powder. mmm, baking soda

Flare 2012/05/30(Wed)09:13 No. 417356 ID: 65b447
File 133839440817.jpg - (163.61KB , 1000x600 , driblis style update.jpg )

I take the kobold's thing from him and throw it out of the hole. Ptht. Nasty crap. Now let's dig though this treasure. Crap, it's not treasure! Looks like a bunch of clothes, some blankets, some red things and some green metal containers with no lid. The other box has some water in it instead of the containers. There's also some maps and mapping supplies in the first room. I'm not sure what to do with this stuff. I found some backpacks too but the one I opened only had a bunch of cloth and string inside it.

"What is this junk?"
"They say it's survival supplies and rations. Looks like they really are on a scouting mission. What should we do with them?"

light a flare, Flare.

Tell 'em that if they drive this flying boat to within winch distance of where the smoke plume is coming from, they can get off there. Otherwise, they're getting off right here and now.

While they're moving this gas-bag into position, take a look at those maps. You want to know where kobolds that can build, or steal, a flying machine like this one, are coming from. They might be a threat, or at least an annoying nuisance.

Ask Sa'ra if either she or her friends can fly this heap. If not, then you'll keep the pilot, and throw the rest overboard at the destination. If so, then they all go out the hatch to take dirt naps, once you get there. Make sure to strip them first, so they can't be identified by anyone.

Once Sa'ra and her buddies have control of this airship, they can give you a lift over or around the mountains, to that cave you left your ogre in; You don't want to land anywhere near your lair, if possible. If they can go over, ask if they can go by where that underground river came out, so you can collect that gold.

Eat some rations!

>>417483
Oh, and grab a water bottle to wash the taste of fire extinguisher powder out of your mouth.

Flare 2012/05/30(Wed)19:57 No. 417527 ID: 65b447
File 133843305022.jpg - (284.75KB , 1000x600 , literacy is overrated.jpg )

OK, they're landing it now, let's have a look at this map. It's got kobold scribblings all over it in red, but I think I know what everything is here. Let me label it... I'll eat a few of these here while I'm doing it; whatever this crap is in the green wrapping doesn't taste that good but the red things are all right. I had to eat like four or five of them to get the nasty taste out of my mouth from that other thing.
The mountains are where my secret lair is, and where I get my stuff made. The forest is where the elfs are, and the swamp is where the kobolds come from. There's some badlands to the west but I haven't really been there a lot because it gets really cold at night and I don't like being really cold all night.

I don't think I want to strip kobolds, that sounds gross and I'd rather not touch them.
"Can the snorty guy or the other guy that never says anything control this thing?"

"None of us are pilots, we normally travel on the ground most places."

Ok, so I can dump the rest of them on the ground, pick up the other two, then either go to the waterfall or near the first cave. Which one should I go to?

Pick up Sa'ra's buds, and leave all the snotbolds, minus the pilot, behind. Throw those shitty green rations at them as you take off.

Well, now you have a way to haul that boulder with the gold veins in it away. Head on back to the waterfall and see if you can use that winch to pull it up. Failing that, you at least have stuff to carry the gold once you melt it out. It'd just be more if the dwarfs did the job instead. Actually, how fast does this ship go, anyway? Still faster than walking, I'd guess.

...Come to think of it, what happened to that lorkhe chick? The one who dropped that gas thingie back in the underground city. Wonder if she came out the same waterfall as you.

>>417527
Eat the bolds you're a dragon goddamn

>>417565
Hey, Flare's got standards, man. She's not going to eat 'bolds; They're practically vermin... Though, if they were smothered in melted cheese it would be another thing entirely.

>>417561
I guess that.

you just ate processed zombie.

Flare 2012/06/02(Sat)21:18 No. 418330 ID: 8cf4e4
File 133869711407.jpg - (187.29KB , 1000x600 , throw it out.jpg )

>>417561
I don't know, we got separated when I went into the river. I'm not sure how I'd get back there, and I don't particularly want to.

As far as this thing, it's a lot faster than walking. I figure we can get to that rock and take it but it will take another day or so if we want to do that.

>>417565
Ugh no they're probably poison or something.

>>417684
No, I think it's made out of those bulb looking things you find in the swamp. They arent' very good.

OK, that looks like everything. I threw all of that crap out so now there's some room in here.

Let's see... Space made in the cargo hold for gold: check. Extraneous kobolds jettisoned: check. Sa'ra's comrades and their supplies all aboard: check. Looks like you're all ready to go. Close the hatch, grab the map, and point out to Sa'ra and the pilot you want to go to that waterfall you came out of.

On the way there, ask Sa'ra what her merry little band of misfits is going to do now that they've got air transport. They going to look for a way off-world, or stick around and see the sights? Also ask what they were expecting when they came to this world, and why they came here.

You think that ogre, Ebrog, is still waiting at that cave entrance? He'd be most helpful in moving that gold ore boulder back to your lair, once you finally get there.

Flare 2012/06/03(Sun)09:17 No. 418387 ID: 8cf4e4
File 133874025651.jpg - (115.92KB , 1000x600 , erotic nose.jpg )

All right, we have the rock.

>>418331
He better be, it's only been a few days or something. That lazy-! I bet he went back to his house. That's close to my secret Lair though, and I don't really want all these people to know where it is.

"So why did you come here anyway? Are you gonna stay or get out of here as soon as you can?"
"Well, we kind of jumped into the first safe portal we found. There were some unpleasant things following us that hopefully can't open it. I'm pretty sure this is a 'dirt world,' so the sooner we can get back on track the better. We're looking for a specific item. supposedly it can be used to create a bridge of sorts to a specific place we want to go. Only problem is, we haven't exactly been able to find out what it is yet. We know it exists, just not anything else."

Nothing left to do here but head on back 'round the mountains to that cave. On the way, ask Sa'ra if her band of fellows has something that can easily get the gold out of this boulder. However, if it involves Pug-Face the Magician ripping a demon-hole in the world, you'll pass. Once you get there, if they didn't have a way to get the gold out, drop the rock off, and dragon-flame it until the gold melts out. That'll make it much easier to carry back most of it, and you can gather a team to haul the rest later.

Ask Sa'ra how the hell they plan on finding something that they don't know the size, shape, or color of, and that could be anywhere in the world. Are they going to delve every tunnel and cavern, climb every mountain, and check every nook and cranny in the world?

Flare 2012/06/17(Sun)14:51 No. 423598 ID: 8cf4e4
File 133996986007.jpg - (188.97KB , 1000x600 , rock.jpg )

"so how do you know what you're looking for if you don't know what it looks like"
" Well, it's a lot more complicated than that. Don't bother worrying about it, I probably can't explain it to you."

OK, we have the rock now, it's the middle of the night by the time we get here though. I have a few options I can try now...

Flare 2012/06/17(Sun)14:53 No. 423600 ID: 8cf4e4
File 133996999251.jpg - (318.41KB , 893x600 , map-flare3.jpg )

...I found some more of those things to write with, here's where all the stuff I know is. Too bad those kobolds scribbled all kinds of stuff on it already.

Nobody is at the cave, so I can either go directly to the dwarfs or I can go to my ogre's house and see if he's there. Alternately I could drop this off by my Lair and worry about it later.

I think they misspelled 'dorf'.

well, if it's some high-tech thing, the dorfs should have it.

Go to the ogre's place and give the lazy bum an earful for leaving so soon, and tell him to go up to the cave and roll the gold ore boulder from there over to the dwarves. In the mean time you'll head to the dwarves and tell them to meet up with the ogre and help transport the ore back. You want that thing turned into some nice bling right away. You've got a load of slots for jewelry that need filling.

...Oh, but before heading off, show the map to Sa'ra and ask if she can tell you what that kobold scribble-scratch means.

>>423630
This.

Flare 2012/06/24(Sun)09:29 No. 425577 ID: b68af5
File 134055534563.jpg - (182.37KB , 1000x600 , yurt.jpg )

OK, we're here. What do I do with this float ship thing? I can't just ride around in it all the time.

"Can you read this crap?"
"No, I can't. I can speak any language, that doesn't extend to written word."
"This is a good place for us to get off as well, I think there's a weak spot nearby."

OK, now what? I can have my ogre bring the rock to my dwarfs, but what do I do about this kobold thing?

get your dorfs to build a dock for it near your lair. and give it a snazzy paintjob. it's yours now.

Can we drop the rock off and then just crash the airship into something?

While having a flying chariot to ride around in is nice, it sticks out like a sore thumb; Best to leave it here to recover later, after the dwarves make a hidden dock for it. Make the kobold driver find a nearby clearing, pull in as low as he can and drop anchor.

Kick the gold ore boulder out, tie up and blindfold the kobold driver, and carry him to the ground, and tell your ogre to carry them both to the dwarves. You're keeping the kobold alive 'cause he's the only one around that knows how to fly this boat, and the dwarves'll want to interrogate him about that. Head back to the dwarves place, tell them where to pick up the flying machine from, and to start digging out a hidden dock for it.

Flare 2012/07/01(Sun)19:54 No. 428014 ID: b68af5
File 134119769373.jpg - (209.39KB , 1000x600 , here we go.jpg )

OK, important things first, let me push this gold out of here and- OH FU-HNRRK!

Flare 2012/07/01(Sun)19:56 No. 428015 ID: b68af5
File 134119780748.jpg - (311.11KB , 1000x600 , here we go2.jpg )

HRRK! "AAAHGH! Get me down!"
"Are you OK?" "NO! THe kobold is getting away!" Shit, he must have used his shirt to slide down the rope!

Dammit! That snotbold gets away, and this whole area is going to be flooded with 'bolds inside a month, looking for you!

As best you can, bend around and point your maw at the kobold and flame-breath him. If you miss, call up to Sa'ra and her crew to fire on the 'bold. If they miss, just get untangled. There's plenty of snow for him to leave tracks in for you and your ogre to follow.

go fwoosh.

grab and throw him overboard.

Your ass is huge! He is literally using your huge ass as a platform!

>>428015
Shit shit shit! Kill 'm! Quick!

Flare 2012/07/07(Sat)14:11 No. 429971 ID: 72dd1c
File 134169548666.jpg - (218.59KB , 1000x600 , bad shot.jpg )

Crap! I missed! "Get that kobold before it gets away!

I can't see it through all this steam!"
"Blarf snork!"

2/3 Flare 2012/07/07(Sat)14:15 No. 429975 ID: 72dd1c
File 134169571195.jpg - (307.98KB , 1000x600 , pugmage.jpg )

>>428363
AND YOU SHUT UP! MY ASS IS NOT A -GHRK!

"Egch chklcagn hrkgths kugnufau.."

Oh crap what is he doing? He's running after it but I can't see through all this stea-

Flare 2012/07/07(Sat)14:19 No. 429978 ID: 72dd1c
File 134169594432.jpg - (250.61KB , 1000x600 , zap mothafucker.jpg )

"somebody get me down from h-"
KRAK-BOOM!
OH SHI-
KRAK-BOOM!
A green lightning bolt just shot up out of the ground! Twice!
I really wish somebody would get me down. >>428028
Oh crap, maybe we shouldn't have let those other ones live.

First things first, yell out to your ogre to get over here and untangle you, then haul that gold ore to the dwarves. He'll hear you, since he's probably watching this show from a safe distance.

Now, what're you going to do with this big obvious floating gasbag? If you can't get your dwarves out here to figure out how to fly it away, or to take it apart and haul it back, you're going to have to get rid of it. It's a shame you won't have your own flying ship, but it'll give your general position away to any forward kobold scouts.

Depending on if the prevailing winds are away from your lair, you could just cut the airship loose and have it float off to crash far away. Sa'ra could also push the control levers until she finds the one that makes the airship go forward, and jam it all the way up. That'll get it away from here even faster.

>>429978

well then eat them all like a proper red dragon would

>>430023
What kind of scummy, low-brow red dragons have you been hanging around that deign to eat big-nosed vermin? You know Flare's a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, *gaaassp* very, very, very, very, very long way from starving enough to even contemplate eating a kobold. Besides, she left them on the other side of the mountain, so it's too late anyway.

yeah the hostages probably all need to die. Just shout at your ogre to get you down though! I mean, how useless is he?!

Man, pugs are terrifying.

Flare 2012/07/14(Sat)17:19 No. 432529 ID: 72dd1c
File 134231156157.jpg - (302.48KB , 1000x600 , dorf fort.jpg )

Hmm, the dwarfs just vomit constantly if they go above ground. I don't really want to watch that. I really don't think they'd be able to make this thing go or whatever, so we'll just cut it loose I guess.

>>430059
Exactly, they are probably poison. Hey, wait a minute...
Anyway, I need to think about what I want to get made. I don't know how much gold they will get out of this rock but it never hurts to have a plan.

"Wait, stop here. There's a spot we can use a little bit off the path in that cave. It's been fun meeting you! Where can we see you again if we come back to this world?"

Hmm, he's pointing to that spot that never freezes over and has the funny smell by it. I'm kind of curious what it is, and what he can do with it, but I want to get my gold to the dwarfs. I always thought that was weird. Should I tell them where my Dragon's Lair is? I'm going to have to bring the rock up to the dwarf cave myself, and you have to go in this one place or they won't trade with you, they are super weird. Is there anything else I should do when I go up there?

tell them where your lair is. tell the giant to roll the gold over there. then go watch them leave.

>>432534
Indeed. It would only be courteous (and curiosity-satisfying) to watch them depart.

And given you keep anything of value on yourself, and they didn't take any of several easy opportunities to mug you, you may as well tell them where your dank hole in the wall is.

>>432556
When they do depart, watch from a very safe distance, preferably while behind a large rock. You do not want to be nearby if pug-face or that strange grey guy fucks up and a demon or other horrid creature pops out.

>>432559
Yeah sure.

Flare 2012/07/21(Sat)13:34 No. 435092 ID: 0385fe
File 134290285222.jpg - (159.97KB , 1000x600 , different portal.jpg )

The grey one does something with his hands, and they just kind of, walk into thin air?

OK I need to think of something to have them make.

Flare 2012/07/21(Sat)13:36 No. 435093 ID: 0385fe
File 134290296518.jpg - (172.33KB , 1000x600 , trading post.jpg )

I have to come in here and sit on this rug or the'll ignore me, and it usually takes them an hour to send somebody over here to get it. Should I tell them anything other than what I want?

Hmm, what do I want?

>>435092
Love. To you.

You should get some bracers/bracelets made for your forelegs. I think that would look totally sweet. Make sure they are wide enough though.

Uh, ask them if they'd seen any snotbolds around.

>>435130
A matched set of bracers or bracelets sounds good, along with a ring to replace that one you gave away back Maiesio. Get a band for your left leg to match your right, and some earrings, if there's enough gold.

You could tell them about the 'bolds riding around in airships poking around the east side of the mountains, and that there's probably going to be more scouting around soon. Tell them about the underground city of Maiesio, and what you saw there; They may know more about it.

Get a second, gold-plated wing.

>>435166
>>435166
>>435166
>>435166
>>435166
>>435166

>>435166
this

Flare 2012/07/22(Sun)14:09 No. 435280 ID: 0385fe
File 134299138632.jpg - (213.61KB , 1000x600 , new stuff.jpg )

There is not going to be enough gold to make a whole wing out of. By my estimate I can get a bracer, a bracelet, and a horn ring out of it. I'll give them my order for that.

I have to go sit on a different rug and wait for ANOTHER one to show up if I want to tell them about anything. I'll tell them about the underground city and ask if they've seen kobolds around.

:dwarfmale:"We'll send some scoots to tha city ye said is there, but flyin' kobolds? You tell the bes' jokes me lady. We'll send out some soap makers to look for 'em though if ye want us to."
"If I tell you something that means it's true, I'm not joking. There's three kobolds out in the woods somewhere that I don't want getting back to wherever they came from. Send somebody out to look for them and take them out."
:dwarfmale:"aye, we'll do that. What should we do if we find that city?"

>>435280
>There is not going to be enough gold to make a whole wing out of.
That's why you gold plate a lesser metal, dunce.

>What should we do if we find that city?
Start queuing up large work orders in the siege workshop.

>>435280

How about a nice golden dragon dildo

Tell them they should probably just stay the hell away from it. You're pretty sure the leader wanted to eat you, and everyone there looks... sick.

>>435280
From what you saw and felt in your head, there's some major mind magic going on in there, and that's almost never good. You'd say to be cautious, and not antagonistic. Play it cool until weird shit starts happening.

If they find the city, they should take a cautious approach; Set up watch posts far back on the entrance tunnels, watch things for awhile, then send an envoy to make diplomatic contact and see what's what. If the envoy doesn't come back, or comes back raving about how great it is in there and they should all join up, it's time to worry. If the envoy comes back with an entourage, assume it's high-level mind-fuckers, and batten down the hatches, bar every door, collapse entry tunnels, activate every trap, and flood everything with lava; They will not get a second chance if the mind-screwers get in.

>>435283
With a masterwork variable-speed clockwork vibration mechanism, of course; Nothing but the best for Flare. Though if the dwarves had metal casting molds of that particular shape, it would be... disturbing, and not surprising in the least.

>>435283
>>435406
It better menace with spikes too.

Make a dildo. You aren't gonna get anything better anytime soon, tubby.

>>435453

I know at least one knight who'd disagree with you.

Tell them that there's also a lorkhe explorer gal you met in the city, and that she's the one you followed out down the river channel. If they found her she might have more to tell them about the city, since she was there much longer than you were. Give them a description of her.

Flare 2012/07/29(Sun)17:57 No. 437440 ID: 4df26b
File 134360982213.jpg - (93.86KB , 1000x600 , dorf fort night.jpg )

OK I don't know what you're getting at but whatever that is it doesn't sound like something you wear. I'll stick with what my original idea was.

About three days later a messenger tells me that they're done, but I want to sleep late so I decided to just go tonight. Ugh, the ugly moon is out tonight, too. I guess I should have waited till tomorrow. They haven't found that city yet, but they're still looking. Evidently there's no word from the party that went to go look for the kobolds. That doesn't sound promising. Oh crap, they shut the doors, too. They always do this when that ugly moon is out. Probably because they're stupid. They have a little door I can usually go bang on till somebody shows up or I could just go back home and wait till tomorrow.

>>437440
You don't know what a dildo is? No wonder you're so bitchy, you're pent-up as all hell.

And you *can* wear it if you include a strap. It's an artificial penis which is used to pleasure oneself or simulate penetration for a woman and another woman or a man in the case of pegging. You really, really need one.

>>437440

You seem to have hysteria-like syndromes and dildo is a recommended cure for most types of hysteria.

You should at least try to get an obsidian one... possible the one that doesn't menace with spikes

>>437443
>>437449
she can always find that tentacle dude again...

Damn inconvenient ugly moon, how often does that thing come out? Anyway, you've walked this far, you're not going to walk all the way back. Go bang on the door and yell in until they come up.

>>437452
Nah, the hydra thing was in that creepy underground city. It's either going to be the dragon dildo, raping a dragon guy, or finding an intelligent species where the males are of comparable size to dragon guys and either seducing, raping, or hiring one as a gigolo.

Dig into their citadel. Maybe they'll give you a dragon dildo as thanks for creating the new entrance.

>>437454
And why do you think we're trying to relocate the underground city? :V

Sit outside the little door and gronk plaintively before the Death Star can fire.

bang on the door, then.

>>437499
This.

Suggestion 2012/10/08(Mon)20:10 No. 461259 ID: c0e1ed
File 134975225823.jpg - (92.92KB , 1000x600 , the stuff.jpg )

I don't need one of those things, and I'm not going back to that horrible city. I bang on the door till somebody brings me my stuff. I don't know how often the stupid moon comes out, I don't keep track of unimportant stuff like that.

"Ye shouldn't be out me lady, it's a bad night"
"ok whatever I'll do what I want."
"It's a bad omen me lady. Ill fortune comes out wit' the red moon."
"I can beat whatever monsters are roaming around." Who knows with these dwarfs, it's probably something to do with socks or fish. I'm going to go home and eat my new cheese.

New cheese sounds far more inviting than fighting with dwarven stubbornness. Go eat thine cheese! It's not like the entire dwarven citadel is going anywhere; you can pick up your stuff tomorrow.

>>461259
Go home and eat your new cheese.

>>461259
Have you ever been out with the red moon before? If not, maybe you should get indoors. Like, in there. Don't chance the unknown.

Well, you want to try on the jewelry to make sure it fits right before you leave anyway, so you may as well do it inside. Push your way in while saying he has until you put the new jewelry on to convince you to stay here until the red moon passes. And none of this vague "bad omen" crap; You want specifics reasons.

Suggestion 2012/10/14(Sun)17:02 No. 462995 ID: 0ed1c4
File 135025935447.jpg - (135.12KB , 1000x600 , flarey please go.jpg )

Yeah I've seen it before, usually there's just a bunch of animals making noise all night. It's annoying. "OK, so if it's so bad then I need to hear why, I'm going to come in here and you can tell me before I go."
"aye, but we are gonna close the door for the next three days, so if ye come in ye'll have to stay here till then"

Hmm, I could stay here and make them feed me for three days. But I'd have to put up with dwarfs the whole time and I'd have to wait to eat my special cheese.

Three days cooped up with dorfs sounds like a recipe for disaster, on both your and their part, even with free meals. Better leave.

Slap on your new jewelry, and head home as quick as you can. Stick to open areas as much as possible, so you'll see anyone or anything coming.

>>462995
Well we could just fly ho- oh waaait.

Okay, well let's still avoid getting locked in with Dwarves, these guys build deathtrap facilities likely to spiral out of control at a moment's notice.

>>462995
Three days of being a fat, lazy cow, waited on hand and foot by minions? Sounds right up your street.

Flare 2012/11/10(Sat)18:45 No. 470534 ID: 93f7a1
File 135260193986.gif - (237.65KB , 1000x600 , chews.gif )

Look I can tell when people are being ugly to me! I'm going home! Screw the dumb moon.

>Back at Flare's Lair....

Man, how do you get the cheese out o-

>>470536
>secrets found: 1/2

Dammit.