No matter what we get, you are bargaining with a woman. At least I am pretty sure it is a woman.. Maybe a male half-elf, but that would just be horrible luck.

Anyway, if it is indeed a babe, begin haggling as only Durk can.

>>383229
That's a chick right?
Apply haggling skill!

Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/29(Sun)16:53 No. 383236 ID: d6af4f
File 132788483886.png - (133.34KB , 700x700 , 66.png )

You use your Haggling (Talented) on this woman.
She says that she really can't sell the hydraulics for any less, but is willing to give you excellent prices on your cheese and grandfather clocks and such goods.

Sell the clocks and buy the magical source of hydraulics!

>>383236
Sell all the cheese! That'll give us enough to buy the hydraulics. Maybe we should consider buying some rations too.

We need to hunt soon. We haven't done enough hunting.

sell all the cheese, keep the clocks, buy the hydraulics and an oxen.

^Good plans. Very good plans.

Do they have any healing mages? I really want to get Chedda back. She's been so good to us and it pains me to think that she's crippled now to our own bad choices.

>>383242
Durk makes no bad choices, just choices that are not as fantastic as others. But yeah, see if they can provide any healing services.

>>383241
I read that as buy the hydralisks.
This option is also a viable plan. Hydralisks are solid ranged fighters.

>>383259
First Cerebrate we come to, we'll buy ALL his Hyrdralisks. Until then, PIMP OUR WAGON.

She looks female. "Rest" with her if you still don't have the cash, and charge extra for exotics. If she's not into guys, offer Lawra Cruft.

Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/29(Sun)18:57 No. 383265 ID: d6af4f
File 132789224201.png - (101.76KB , 700x700 , 67.png )

You sell all of the cheese. You now have 2 gold, 5 silver and 2 copper (1g = 10s = 100c)
Flava Flav and Chedda admire those two gold pieces. It is the only gold pieces they have ever seen.

The human says that she has 2 potions of healing, enough to put a couple up to full health, for 1g a bottle.

You offer to 'rest' with her. She says that is tempting, but they are on a journey north, and cannot afford to stick around.

You buy the hydraulics for 1 gold, 5 silver. You now have 1 gold and 2 copper left, you do not have enough for both healing potions and more oxen unless you sell grandfather clocks.

Buy the potion for Chedda.

>>383265
How many guards does she have? Try to think of a reason why you shouldn't just become a bandit and attack her, then subsequently steal her stuff and take the money back. After you've pretended to conclude negotiations and she's turned her back, utter a badass one-liner and kill them all.

Man we cant be trying to improve kobold relations while murdering good trading partners.

>>383269
Do not do this.

Man, if people wanna trade for our clocks, go for it. We are gonna have a successful trading mission even before we get to Oremor.

And the most pimped out wagon ever.

Nah, I don't really wanna become a bandit. Lets buy the potion for Chedda and be on our way.

Buy a potion for chedda, don't attack the human, have celebratory sex with chedda once she is healed

Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/29(Sun)19:34 No. 383278 ID: d6af4f
File 132789448663.png - (103.87KB , 700x700 , 68.png )

There are a few guardsmen, but there are also ladies. And the Durk does not kill ladies. Unless she turns out to be a she-bitch, but you are quite certain that she is an honest lady.

You buy a potion for Chedda. She kisses you on the cheek. You smack her behind and continue on your journey.

28th Hematite
You are entering the final stretch of land, back into gnoll territory. You may raft down the river for additional speed, or move across trecherous landscape where you are sure to run into hostile gnolls before friendly gnolls.

Will you go by water or by land?

Land, we've lost more to water then anything else. Plus we need rations. Half the party sleeps in the wagons during the day. The other half during the night. We can keep travelling 24/7 for this last stretch.

Sure the oxen will keel over dead if we keep it up for too long but I have a feeling stopping for the night would be bad. Call it a hunch.

Durk should remember the last time they encountered Gnolls and the lost bubblegum. They won't be getting anything else from him.

Water has failed us at (almost) every turn. Rather face gnolls the Durk can easily eliminate than that treacherous liquid again..

>>383281
Go by land, but first urinate in the river in a manly fashion just to spite it. Nothing bad can happen.

I would not piss in the river. You know sometimes there are parasites in rivers that can climb up your bee stream right into your urethra? Nope nope nope

Think the wagon hydraulics would help in moving over the terrain? They would allow you to raise the wagon up and over rocks and shit that would otherwise trap it. It also would make it high-centered, and more likely to tip over.

>>383306
Those things only live in ONE tropical forest :<

on earth
who knows here? It's the fucking Oremor trail!

>>383323
Okay, change of plans: don't piss in any rivers until you capture a gnoll and make him test it first.

>>383306

they did some research on that, and apparently, they jump, not swim upstream.

but anyway I don't trust these goddamn rivers one bit. so land.

Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)09:11 No. 383392 ID: d6af4f
File 132794347451.png - (138.41KB , 700x700 , 69.png )

1st of Malachite

You piss in a river to spite it. You're not afraid of any microscopic bugs and parasites.

You are back in the gnoll lands. 3 gnolls approach the caravan.
>"Ey! Best hand off yer goods, lest ya hand off your lives and yer goods!"

>>383392
Show them some of the gnoll rations and ask them if they really want to do this.

Apply crossbow to the face of the largest one.

Offer to 'rest' with that female standing in the back.

Denounce all the male's sexual ability compared to yours and promptly shoot all the aggressive males.
Females get an extra chance to stand down.

Taunt the gnoll leader into a one versus one fight with you. Beat him(to death) handily and negotiate with any female gnolls in the party. If there are no female gnolls in the party, give them a chance to stop hating on merchant caravans. When(if) they refuse to stop hatin' on you, kill them and collect rations/loot.

>>383392
Use sweet hydraulics to rise above their reach, then us the height to RAIN DOWN POINTY DEATH.

decorate your caravan with their heads

>>383407
this

>>383407
that would not go down good with the allied gnolls once we arrive, no matter how friendly they are, we may cause chaos within their ranks.

I hope the Chaos God didn't hear that.

1/3 Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)10:59 No. 383415 ID: d6af4f
File 132794997822.png - (41.47KB , 700x700 , 70.png )

You ask them if they are sure about this.

"Ya think labeling some meat 'gnolls' should scare us? Ya think we're dumb? Time to die!"

2/3 Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)10:59 No. 383416 ID: d6af4f
File 132794999242.png - (100.50KB , 700x700 , 71.png )

You inform him he was correct on all counts.

3/3 Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)11:00 No. 383417 ID: d6af4f
File 132795000701.png - (63.01KB , 700x700 , 72.png )

The female gnoll is the only survivor. She surrenders.

Would you like to recruit this one?

YES

>>383417
Not really, but I suppose we might as well. Name her Gnollflakes as a sick joke.

>>383417
Sure, why not? She can guide us past other gnolls, that is if she values their lives.

Of course.
Do not forget to slap her on the ass to seal the deal.

Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)11:10 No. 383425 ID: d6af4f
File 132795061352.png - (44.62KB , 700x700 , 73.png )

You offer her the position.
She takes it. She also says she will require 3 times the rations.

Name: Gnollflakes
Occupation: No Me Gusto Mucho Bandito

Is this okay? (y/n)

y
I'm saving Pussy Aplenti in case we recruit a cat girl somewhere in these lands
It's too good a bond reference to give up

Harness Gnollflakes in front of the wagon to go easy on the oxen. You only have the two of them, but there's an unlimited supply of Gnolls.

get Gnollflakes to dress more sexy, cause she looks like a dude

craft gnollskin jacket

>>383425
y

>>383429
y x 100

Also, use Gnollflakes as a guide to get you through the hostile Gnoll lands. She might know which areas to avoid, and which are best to cut through.

However, she might not be trustworthy yet. Consider application of seduction to increase trustworthiness and loyalty.

1/2 Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)11:42 No. 383432 ID: d6af4f
File 132795254051.png - (75.49KB , 700x700 , 74.png )

You accept. You get 40 rations from the other gnolls. You keep the non-gnoll rations in a seperate pile, because like a true gentleman, you won't make her resort to cannibalism. Or pull the wagon with the oxes, as tempting as it is.

You slap her on the ass to seal the deal.
You add her group's stolen loot of 3 gold and 2 silver, and 3 longswords to your inventory.

You have a private interview with her to analyze her loyalty. You can conclude that she will not backstab you. You will also get Lawra to fashion her better clothes to make her appear less dude-like, and you continue the journal.

With Gnollflakes, you are able to cut on the outskirts of gnoll clan territory, and minimize interaction and trouble.

2/2 Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)11:43 No. 383433 ID: d6af4f
File 132795260726.png - (147.01KB , 700x700 , 75.png )

3rd of Hematite
Your hydraulics are so awesome that they nearly jump an impassable cliff, but unfortunately Wagon Shock systems cannot handle the awesome that the hydraulics lay down, and bust 2 wagon wheels and their spinning rims. You have 1 spare wheel. Lawra is unable to fix them, they practically exploded. You wish you had a wizard scrying device to record just how hard that wood exploded. Lawra can build another, but it will take time.

All we can do is wait, so wait

>>383433
Use the two other spinning rims to craft a BITCHIN METAL WHEEL.

I think now is the time to hunt. Bring Gnollflakes as her size will allow for more rations to be brought back, seeing as she is seven to eight times larger than you.

>>383435
>>383436
>>383442

All of the things!

Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)12:29 No. 383444 ID: d6af4f
File 132795537507.png - (63.64KB , 700x607 , 76.png )

You go hunting. Game is scarce. You brought Gnollflakes, and she says that this area is bad for hunting, but the good areas have lots of gnolls.

You conclude that the only good game you can find around here are gnolls

Would you like to hunt GNOLLS?

>enablecheats
>spawn buffalo 100
>enter

>>383444
I see a rabbit
There is some game. We'd at least have some rabbit stew

Oh, and for future reference- those parasite fish? They aren't microscopic. They're candiru, and they're the size of a gnoll's index finger. They jump up your penis and then their barbs lodge them inside. It is indescribably painful and requires surgery to remove.

Anyways, hunting sounds good, and maybe talk with your wimminz to see how they are.

I dunno, we've got 10 days of food left. Let's not attract attention while we're at a standstill. We could get hit by a war party. If we go hunting it should be right when the wagon is ready to go again.

1/3 Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)12:50 No. 383453 ID: d6af4f
File 132795661835.png - (48.35KB , 700x700 , 77.png )

You decide to allow the gnolls another day of living, and go back with a single rabbit for a rabbit stew dinner. Despite your efforts, you are not able to telepathically spawn 100 buffalo, but you were always one for taking life, not making it.

2/3 Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)12:50 No. 383454 ID: d6af4f
File 132795664179.png - (118.29KB , 700x533 , 78.png )

Bi says there is no forge or tools or anything to use the spinning rims to make a metal wheel, bitching or otherwise.

You spend the day talking with your wimminz and for some reason Bi is there too. You toke up the remaining unidentified herbs, and do other stuff like strip poker and whatever else people do on wagon trips. It sure would be something if gnolls attacked right now.

...but they don't come. Gnollflakes did a good job of avoiding them.

Lawra Crauft finishes the next day, and you continue onward.

3/3 Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)12:50 No. 383455 ID: d6af4f
File 132795665013.png - (177.61KB , 700x700 , 79.png )

6th of Malachite
You arrive at your destination. You are certain this is the place, and Gnollflakes said there used to be a clan here, but there are no gnolls.

Check to make sure it's been abandoned for some time.

Then loot everything.

>>383456
Basically this.
And by loot everything we mean search for clues.
And then loot the rest of everything.

>>383455
Time to track? Or just go wandering around to see if you can find someone. Leave the caravan behind I guess.

light a bolt on fire and fire it into the tumbleweed.

Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)13:19 No. 383461 ID: d6af4f
File 132795834281.png - (105.50KB , 700x700 , 80.png )

>>383460
You'd rather not pin the crime of arson on a tumbleweed.

It would appear that the gnolls must have had some warning before they had to leave, although not so much that they brought everything. There are still gnollish swords and shields, and some valuables by way of coin, crafts and non-essentials. You find 12 gold pieces, various crafts and tools, and what have you.

The question is, what now? Flava Flav says they have been gone for at least a week. It would be difficult to track them down. You may....

Attempt to track them.
Go back home.
Settle here.
Go wherever you please and please wherever you go as a traveling caravan.

So we made it... and no one is here. Figures. Explore for clues n loot.

We came here on a mission and damned if we aren't going to finish it. Track 'em down.

Well shit. We came this far, let's try to track them down. But if we can't find them let's keep on caravaning in our pleasurable way.

Blah. Nothing to do but track them.

fuck settlements we trackin'

>>383461
Wait, settling is an option? Not sure we have the people to ensure genetic diversity..

Rest here for a bit and have Lawra make a couple of spare wheels and axles. When done, you might as well track them down.

Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)13:37 No. 383469 ID: d6af4f
File 132795947383.png - (141.07KB , 700x700 , 81.png )

>>383468
Genetic diversity is never a problem with Durk Nuuk'erm.

You attempt to track them, resting in the abandoned camp. You spend 3 days like this, in which Lawra is able to craft 2 spare wagon wheels and 1 spare wagon axle.
Flava Flav says there are lots of tracks around going in all directions, it is nearly impossible for her to tell which way they went, or if they split up or not. There is little in the ways of clues, as gnolls were not known for their record keeping. It looks like there might have been a battle involved, but Gnollflakes says all gnoll residences look like a battle took place.

>>383468
I'd say grab the raw materials to do this, but don't wait around. Tracking is already difficult; doing it later would likely be impossible.

>>383461
You're trackin' up, trackin' up, trackin' up, trackin' up, cuz your daddy taught you good.

>>383470
Crap.

>>383469
Best timestamp.

Also, ask Gnollflakes if there are any clans friendly to this one in the vicinity. If there were, odds are that's where they'd head.

Also, see if you can find the largest concentration of "new" tracks.

We're not afraid of ADVENTURE.

ummmmmmmmmmm........ go left?

What do you know of the gnolls you were allied with? Perhaps some searching and diplomacy with neighboring tribes will tell you more
As long as Gnollflakes tells you which ones will least likely fight and more likely speak.

>>383473
Also which ones have female leaders. This is quite important, it seems.

>>383469
Fuck. Let's go hunting, and capture one of the gnolls alive. Interrogate them and ask if they know anything.

Also we're going to have trouble with rations for Gnollflakes aren't we, if we keep hunting gnolls for food?

Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)14:09 No. 383477 ID: d6af4f
File 132796135566.png - (151.48KB , 700x700 , 81.png )

Gnollflakes says she'll eat the gnoll rations if she must, it's simply preference that she doesn't.

You go west, following some of the tracks. Luck is on your side, as you reach a clearing, where some gnolls have set up camp. You are prepared to hunt them, but after a talk, they are part of the allied gnolls. All you know is that their leader was called 'Clamp,' which proved to be enough.

You proceed to trade miscellaneous goods for miscellaneous goods, using your Haggling (Talented) on the other gender to get prime deals. You also give the message to pass on to Clamp.

They offer for 1 copper per food ration as well, and you can rest here, talk, or move on.

So what happened, you guys just split?

>>383477
Buy 160 rations (20 days) (we have a shitload of gold may as well spend some), and ask if they have any idea where Clamp's main group went.

Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)14:33 No. 383481 ID: d6af4f
File 132796283864.png - (130.12KB , 700x700 , 82.png )

She says she isn't entirely sure what was happened, she was on a hunting trip. She is on her way to a meetup zone, where she will deliver these supplies, and thanks you. She adds that for the record, the meetup zone is supposed to be a secret, and she won't show anyone who involves themselves with other gnolls.

You buy 160 rations for 1 gold and 6 silver.

With built up resistance to snake bites, cholera and dysentery, and skill and knowledge with crossing rivers, you are certain that the trip back home will be a piece of cake. Would you like to go home and finish the mission?

>>383481
But, adventure!
How about you go back home and then take your ragtag group on another caravan adventure, seeing as you are so good at it?

Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)14:45 No. 383483 ID: d6af4f
File 132796355578.png - (30.83KB , 700x700 , 83.png )

>>383482
The Durk has no reservations about going on future caravan adventures, but there is little reason to not complete the mission he has been assigned first.

>>383481
Protest, saying Gnollflakes is with us under duress. We killed the rest of her group and spared her so that she'd be able to get us out of trouble. I mean, we've even got a bunch of gnoll jerky, c'mon lady.

...on the other hand maybe we don't really have much reason to go to where Clamp is?

One has to wonder though, if the kobolds have somebody as awesome as the Durk, how come they are always in deep shit of one variety or another..

Finish this mission. Then adventure!

Well, this is a toss-up. On one paw, you want to complete your mission quick. On the other, you want to make damn sure that this message gets to Clamp. You don't want Gil and Dom's deaths to be in vain if this little gnoll encampment misses the meeting somehow.
You could give Gnollflakes enough rations to get her back to her clan, and send her on her way. Maybe give her back some of the coin you looted from her deceased comrades. Then this pack of gnolls might take you to their meeting place.

>>383491
Durk's one of those wandering hero types. You know, the kind that don't stick around to solve every one of your piddly problems.

Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)15:57 No. 383495 ID: d6af4f
File 132796785434.png - (39.04KB , 700x700 , 84.png )

The gnoll insists you not follow, and assures you that she will get the goods to Clamp.

You don't have particular reason to see their chief personally, and you believe she is telling the truth.

OREMOR TRAIL - END Durk Nuuk'erm 2012/01/30(Mon)16:03 No. 383498 ID: d6af4f
File 132796819871.png - (120.82KB , 700x700 , 85.png )

With that, you have no reason to stick around, and head back. You report a very successful mission back home, and use much of your gold to purchase the wagon for your personal use.

You ended the mission with 6 members in good health, and more supplies than you began with, and all 3 grandfather clocks.

Your rank is King of the Caravans.

With your own wagon and party members, you head out again for new ADVENTURE.

Hail to the King, baby.

Bolds of Steel.

Spend a few days recovering and resting (if you know what I mean), then head off for a new ADVENTURE.

groovy.