:3E

Freis 2009/08/24(Mon)14:28 No. 33925 ID: d75539
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You turn to try leave the dining room, but the door is stuck fast! You don't even remember putting a lock on the thing, or if there even was one!!

Freis 2009/08/24(Mon)14:28 No. 33927 ID: d75539
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Control is switched to XOM.

Xom is amused.

>Now then, as that delightful pair's host for the evening, I wonder whatever i should prepare for them..!

>>33927
Hmmm~

What indeed.

How about a fun little dungeon adventure!

Your dick in a BOX
your dick in a booox, Xom.

>>33927
TOE JAM TEA
BECAUSE EVERYBODY LOVES REN AND STIMPY REFERENCES

Lets switch their bodies around.
Or, also amusingly. Switch their genders.

>>33927
They should be forced to compete in a dance compitition against MC Hammer to the song Hamster Dance.

Also amusing: You could make it so that the bossy blue one has to do whatever the weird pink one says.

>>33932
Both.

Separately, prepare an entire meal of pudding.
With the proper flavors, of course.
Beef pudding.
Gravy pudding.
Water pudding.
Include prizes in some of the puddings.

prepare them a nice casserole and some chocolate chip cookies. laugh merrily as the prod them suspiciously trying to figure out what is wrong with them.

>>33934
YES, THIS

Alright.

To sum up the above: Serve them tea that switches their gender, and then send them through a dungeon to turn back. At the end of the dungeon they must dance off against MC Hammer.

And also the tea forces the blue one to listen to the pink one.

>>33939
Additionally, whisper some suggestions to the pink one.
It's no fun if he doesn't use it, you know.

>>33939
AHAHAHAH!

If they switch bodies and swich genders, doesnt that mean they're still both in their original gender? Whats the fun in that?

>>33943
You're right.
Have both switch at random.

Freis 2009/08/24(Mon)14:41 No. 33945 ID: d75539
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>Reaction upon seeing my internet not only cut out before I started, but before I even finish my update as well.

>switch bodies
>switch command structure
>switch genders

Man, Xom's idea generation sure is getting boring lately.

I suggest a classic.

The floor is now lava.

Just make some good tea, speak as if it was something strange, watch them squirm.

Then when they least expect it put a whoopie cushion on their seats.

Freis 2009/08/24(Mon)15:06 No. 33956 ID: d75539
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>Soon enough, but!

>I haven't the foggiest how you make things in edible edible, you silly mortals and your constant need to eat.. Dwarves make it look so easy.. just waltzing into a kitchen and popping out some masterfully prepared dwarven wine biscuits..

>I wonder how they manage to make a biscuit using nothing but wine without my assistance for that matter.. HA!

>>33929

A fine idea! But after I've finished being their good host~

>>33931

>YOU'VE GOT YOUR REN AND STIMPY IN MY ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE REFERENCE.

>>33933

>M.C. Hammer? I thought he was dead.. and a legless dwarf for that matter, both metaphorically and literally.

>>33934

Oh dear, that wouldn't be sporting at all, I adore my little toys believing they have their own free will, as opposed to that spoilsport Yog. Such a mud in the stick.

>>33956
Just magic some tea up Xom. Or better yet magic someone somewhere into tea and serve them that.

>>33956
Well why don't you give them the mutation to eat raw meat and just serve that?

>>33956
so my memory is terrible. the point remains.

as for how to do it, put some water in a pot, apply heat until the water starts bubbling, then scrape some of the stuff between your toes into the water. stir until it's a consistant colour, then put it in cups and give it to them.

>>33963
Good sir, are you implying Xom has stuff between his toes. No No. Xom has toes between his stuff.

>>33964

So, Xom keeps toes around his genitals? That's disgusting, even for him.

Make cups out of boiled water infused with steeped plant material and fill them with hot porcelain.

>>33956
You should offer them some carmel turtles with there tea.

>>33956
Xom! Um. Okay, let's just get them really drunk. That's always fun! If they're drunk enough, they won't care what you made. Then we can just throw together anything.
Plus it'll be fun because they're drunk.
I suggest wine, because it's more dapper, and we're trying to be a good host.

THE RECIPE:
one 18.25 ounce chocolate cake mix
one can prepared coconut pecan frosting
3/4 cup vegetable oil
4 large eggs
one cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup butter or margarine
1 2/3 cup granulated sugar
2 cups all purpose flower
don't forget garnishes such as:
fish shaped crackers
fish shaped candies
fish shaped solid waste
fish shaped dirt
fish shaped Ethel benzine
pull n' peel licorice
fish shaped volatile organic compounds
and sediment shaped sediment
candy coated peanut butter pieces; shaped like fish
one cup lemon juice
alpha resins
unsaturated polyester resin
fiberglass surface resins
volatile malted milk impoundments
9 large egg yokes
12 medium geosynthetic membranes
one cup granulated sugar
an entry called: "How To Kill Someone With Your Bare-Hands"
2 cups rhubarb; sliced
2/3 granulated rhubarb
1 Tbsp all-purpose rhubarb
1 tsp grated orange rhubarb
3 Tbsp rhubarb; on fire
1 Large rhubarb
1 cross Bohr hole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb
2 Tbsp rhubarb juice
adjustable aluminum head positioned
slaughter electric needle injector
cordless electric needle injector
injector needle driver
injector needle gun
cranial caps
and it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and oder control chemical's that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

>>33984
getting a little GLADOS there.

>>33956
Make them into tea.
Have them drink people.

>>33956

So, tea and biscuits. Make the biscuits with TIME (or thyme?) and produce tea by boiling catnip.

Feeding them catnip should be amusing.

FINAL BOSS Suggestion 2009/08/24(Mon)19:29 No. 34077 ID: 67c611
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You are so fucked.

>>33956
>Oh dear, that wouldn't be sporting at all, I adore my little toys believing they have their own free will, as opposed to that spoilsport Yog. Such a mud in the stick.

Well, you could theoretically leave her free will but just leave her forced to do what she's told, as if puppeted.

Not that it'd be interesting since the cat would have no such orders for her.

Also, that's too weird even for Xom.

>>34087
You could make it so that the blue one just automatically thinks everything the pink one says is a good idea. That way free will is still involved... but in a very amusing way.

Or, better yet. Make it so that whatever the pink one says automatically becomes true. Lets see how long it takes them to notice... then switch it around so that everything he says automatically isnt true.

>>34128
YES YES YES!

AS ALWAYS: WITH SEXY RESULTS

Freis 2009/09/03(Thu)09:07 No. 37720 ID: d75539
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>Great.. locked in a room, awaiting god knows what that maniac's cooking up (I can hear his laughter from in here..) and Fluffy's been staring at me from across the table ever since I took this hat off.. at least he's being quiet..

Freis 2009/09/03(Thu)09:08 No. 37721 ID: d75539
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Oh for the love of.. what now?!

>>37721
Answer it!

Freis 2009/09/03(Thu)09:31 No. 37729 ID: d75539
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Oh, Yog-damni-

Yes..?

>MESHIA. RETURN AS MY PRIEST.

Yog pauses a moment..

>PLEASE.

>>37729
That guy can go fuck himself. Tell him that.

>>37729
"Or what?"

Captain Freis!SV3dGkVKt6 2009/09/03(Thu)10:27 No. 37739 ID: d75539
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>>37730

Yog isn't nearly so caring about his follower's free will. Even if I'm, for now, godless and generally untouchable, telling any god, especially Yog, to go fuck himself is just asking for it.

>>37737

"Or what?"

>BEHOLD THE FELL TRANSFORMATIONS SUBJECTED TO YOUR BODY ALREADY. YOU NEED MY PROTECTION FROM XOM, DON'T YOU?

>>37739
'....Actually, I kind of like this mutation I got.'

Oh please. You dont think we can't protect ourselves from him? He's a pushover. Besides, if I got your protection from him then he'll just get mad when he can't mess with us. Better to let him have his little fun and escape mostly unharmed.

>>37739
"I think by now I've stopped caring. Why do you want me back?"

[Is Yog the type of guy to care about random people or does he expect something out of this?]

>>37739
What do you get out of it?

Why did you quit the priesthood, anyway?

>>37739
"I'm not sure if making Xom mad is the best idea right now. Try again later?"

Freis 2009/09/03(Thu)11:51 No. 37764 ID: d75539
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>>37755

I recall being a bit successful in drawing in followers to Yog, for whatever reason.. when I disappeared, maybe some of the people I'd attracted renounced their faith in him as well. Who knows. Could be he's just trying to keep me out of Xom's 'worship' too. They've got quite a rivalry.

>>37741
>>37747
"These probably aren't the worst mutations I've ever seen, and Fluffy doesn't seem to mind them in the least. Right now, I don't care about them."

>NONSENSE. YOUR BODY MUST BE PURE OF FORM, UNTAINTED BY XOM'S TOUCH. I CAN CLEANSE YOU OF YOUR AFFLICTION.

"Pass."

>>37747

"Why do you want me back anyway?"

>IN TIME, I WISH YOU TO BE MY CHAMPION. FILBERT IS BECOMING UNSUITED TO LEAD THE CAUSE IN MY NAME. HE WILL SOON BE USELESS TO ME AND WILL NEED TO BE SILENCED.

...What did he just say..?

Freis 2009/09/03(Thu)11:52 No. 37765 ID: d75539
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Oh, what the hell now?

>DON'T ANSWER IT. WE'RE-

Freis 2009/09/03(Thu)11:53 No. 37766 ID: d75539
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>Meshia, darling, would you like one lump or two~?

"..Xom, what the hell are you wearing..?"

>ABNORMALITY.

>Answer dearie~

........two?

>>37766
Looks like a maid outfit.
And he's serving tea.
That's relatively sane for Xom.
Yeah, also voting two lumps.

Freis 2009/09/03(Thu)12:15 No. 37774 ID: d75539
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Ow. OW.

>Yog, one lump or two~?

>LEAVE.

>>37774
Well played, Xom. Well played.

Anyway, leave them to their bickering. Lets go see what Fluffy is up to.

>>37774
Damn you, instinct to preserve bilateral symmetry.

Say "Ow! Man, that joke is OLD!"

>>37774
WHAT!
You have one hand too many, dear!
Many cure of mutations won't be so bad after all.

Looks like four arms.

DO WE HAVE FORE DAMN ARMS NOW

>>37796
We certainly do have forearms now.
In fact, we've had forearms for quite some time.

>>37813
FOUR. ARGARBLE

>>37774
So is this Yog just a Yog or Yog-Sothoth? Also aren't there any other lawful gods you could worship? Like, say... Tiamat? :3c

>>37764
> I recall being a bit successful in drawing in followers to Yog, for whatever reason..
It's probably because of your giant... uh... no never mind.

Anyway, tell Yog that as kind as it is of him that he wants you back, you're kindof busy doing your own thing.
... but ask about that Filbert thing. That sounds important.

>>37857
You seem unfamiliar with Dorf Quest gods. Yog is the be-all end-all god of Law. The only alternative is Pelor, god of Judgement, and that is really not the same thing.

>>37866
If we want alternatives we can side with lawful good or lawful evil. Maybe go true neutral.

Tell Yog that we'll talk to him about this opportunity later. We're currently guests in our own home and evidently Yog was not invited. We'll discuss things with him later, once the entertaining of guests is over.

Freis 2009/09/25(Fri)19:23 No. 51314 ID: f6b265
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>>37779

Damn you, instinct to preserve bi-lateral symmetry! Alright, calm down, it won't be any good to go get pissy at the god of chaos..

>>37814
>>37789
>>37813
>>37787

Shut up! I have two arms! Two! I've no idea what you're talking about!

>>37864

..My giant what?

>>37898

"Can we discuss this later..? We're currently guests in our own home, we'll talk with you later, once our gracious 'host' is done entertaining us"

>...VERY WELL.

>>51314
Go see what Xom and Fluffy are doing before they get into too much trouble.

Put your hat on but turn it backwards go give you awareness behind you.

Also, assess this shirt situation. You seem to be running low on shirt.

Say "Xom, that joke was old and hurt. And hurt my feelings."

Make a pouty face. You've seen fluffy do it a thousand times.

>>51314
Your giant...
REASONING AND LOGIC SKILLS

You know, you should probably right down some basic facts about yourself. Number of eyes, location of hair, inability to breath fire, that sort of thing. I get the sneaky suspicion Xom may be able to change things in such a way that you accept the change as having allways been there. Best to have something to refer to later, so you can be sure.

>>51314
your giant booooooooobs

>>51347
>>51444
Your giant boobs, now nicknamed Reason and Logic!

"Now yog, if you'll excuse me, i'm having tea with xom, which may or may not be fatal."

Freis 2009/09/26(Sat)06:01 No. 51507 ID: f6b265
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>>51330

>Go see what Xom and Fluffy are doing before they get into too much trouble.

Freis 2009/09/26(Sat)06:02 No. 51508 ID: f6b265
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>>51342
>>51399
Hold that thought. I've a sudden urge to hurt something.

>>51347
>>51444
>>51466
I. WHAT. NONE OF YOU ARE HELPING. AND WHY WOULD YOU IMPLY I WOULD GIVE MY BREASTS A NAME ANYWAY?!

Call athoritatively to get Fluffy's attention and make him aware of the situation. Make sure he understands that his behavior is unacceptable.

>>51509

HIS behavior? He's not the one doing the fondling.

Xom is just sitting there watching while Meshia harasses Fluffy. Why would you blame him? You need to stop acting so lewdly in front of your guest!

>>51517
Agreed. How could you? Geeze. Though it's hard to blame you... Fluffy does look so round and soft and so inviting...

Get all mad and pouty.

Alternately, assist in the creation of a Fluffy sandwich.

>>51508

Of course you wouldn't! That's why we did it for you.

Alternatively, are you sure that's Xom standing there? She looks rather familiar.

>>51507
join in on that shit

>>51507
join in on that shit

Isn't that you fondling Fluffy??

>>54809
Yeah, geeze. Cut it out, there will be time for that later.

Freis 2009/10/03(Sat)20:41 No. 56627 ID: f6b265
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"St-stop, you're not M-Meshia.."

"Oh ho? What makes you say that?"

"...W-well.. for one.. y-you're not mean enough.."

Captain Freis!SV3dGkVKt6 2009/10/03(Sat)20:41 No. 56628 ID: f6b265
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"W-Waah! Mean! Meaaan! Meshiaaaa!"

..Sort of serves him right, but still.

Captain Freis!SV3dGkVKt6 2009/10/03(Sat)20:42 No. 56630 ID: f6b265
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>"Oh dear, she was supposed to bring the tea in, not molest your that boy~"

>>56630
hey, whatever will entertain the guests.

>>56630
I'd tell you to backhand Xom, but...

>>56630

Why don't you join her? It will be a Fluffy Sandwich!

>>56638
Do it.

Whisper in Fluffy's ear that you'll reward him if he's good.

Captain Freis!SV3dGkVKt6 2009/10/03(Sat)23:44 No. 56731 ID: f6b265
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>>56634

HE GETS MORE THAN A BACKHAND.

Xom finds this hilarious!

>>56731

Awww, just when it was getting good!

>>56731
Inspect hands, then go slap yourself.
The other you.
You knew what I meant.

Give Xom a taste of his own medicine, by which I mean get behind him, nibble on his shoulder, and put your hand up his skirt.

>>56743
This is pretty much the best advice you could follow in this situation.

>>56743
That sounds like a really good idea. See if you can make him cry without hurting him.

>>56743
Thirded.

>>59407
I support this because of how hilarious it will be whether it works or fails.

Raycaster finds this hilarious!

Wow. Rabbit punched the God of Chaos.