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Chocolate Breeze
6f902f
>>33096
Well that... could have gone better. At least she's going to think about it instead of outright rejecting what I said. I know I laid a bombshell on her... and part of me aches for what she must be going through. I might have just destroyed her entire worldview, kicked over the sand castle of her faith, toppled the religion she'd never before had reason to doubt.
I pick up the sword, sheath and all, and then slowly walk over to the entrance of the hut, sitting down beside it. I turn the sheath over in my hands, but I can't bring myself to focus on it. I could go work on my steam speeder, but I doubt I'd be able to focus on that either. And I want to be here, if Nixia decides she's ready to talk.
I don't know if I did the right thing. In the end, I guess right and wrong are just words in this kind of situation. I did what I had to do. I couldn't just leave her like that, wrongly thinking I'm a god. I'm not a god, and I'm not worthy of that kind of adoration. I'm not worthy of her unconditional love. She doesn't even know me. How could she love me? The answer seems painfully obvious. She doesn't love me. She loves "Tabot, the God of the Sky." Only I'm not the God of the Sky. As I just made sure she knew.
As I lean against the hut... our hut... another thought occurs to me. She was chosen by her village to be presented to the 'god,' and now she knows I'm not god. I probably just reduced her perceived lot in life by several orders of magnitude. She went from being the wife of a god to the wife of normal guy. I might as well have just slapped her and told her she's worthless.
Why is this affecting me so much? Why can't I stop worrying about it? I just met her, and didn't even agree to our marriage. And yet... she does seem like a nice girl. She's so disarmingly honest, like she has this zeal for life. She's open... and soft. I think I do care for her, which makes the issue of leaving this place even more difficult. I think about the life I left behind, the world I'd known just a few days ago. I had a job there, a niche I fit into. But what if I stayed her? Maybe I could help these people and do more with my life than if I returned. But... but those are crazy thoughts. Aren't they? I have a life to return to, friends.
>Friends like Silve?
I blink at the sudden, unexpected thought. It occurs to me that my life could use some re-evaluation. And it appears I've got time. I sit by the hut, fiddling with Nixia's sword while I take a good look at my life up til this point.
((Feel free to let me know about Tabot's life before the crash. From what it sounds like, it was pretty sterile and emotion-less... but I could be wrong. Also, how'd you like that Shakespeare reference? XD))
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