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301976 No. 301976 ID: a9ba96

Well, uh... first, let's just get this out of the way.

The village that hired me to deal with their goblin issue is now on fire. That's uh, that's usually a pretty bad thing, but I think this would be a good time to weigh the positives and the negatives of this particular scenario.

The negative is, uh, obviously the fact that I've accidentally set this village on fire.

The positive is uh... well, I'm almost completely certain that the goblin they wanted gone has burned to death with... everyone else. I clearly won't be getting paid for it, due to the aforementioned death of everyone in the village, but, uh, that goblin was a pest, and doing good deeds is a reward in and of itself, right?
294 posts omitted. Last 100 shown. Expand all images
>>
No. 308371 ID: 856690

Yeah, totally try to make him a paladin, he should be all for that idea, considering how remorseful he seems about the whole killer of pure innocent people thing.

Not that anybody is innocent...
Not that anybody is pure...

Redeeming the wicked is so much more satisfying than killing them.
>>
No. 308372 ID: a9ba96
File 130697227313.png - (38.13KB , 269x285 , Dungeoncrawlers085.png )
308372

It isn't a matter of sterilizing these things. Letting Changelings live only encourages the creation of more, and due to the nature of their race it's not exactly a simple task keeping track of them. Especially if they're numerous. The more Changeling that exist, the more likley it becomes that one stays out of sight, maintaining their disguise long enough to produce a feral child. And feral children can't be tamed.

Also, I hear they eat babies.

"Speak, Abomination."
>"What is there to say?"
"If you will not attempt to justify your dealings with a Devil, at least try to justify your vile attempts to lay your poisonous seed within an unwitting maiden."
>"I knew the risks."
"Then why?"
>"I didn't want to have children. I just wanted to be left alone. For once. I just wanted to stay in one town, instead of always running because you self-righteous jesters in armor branded me an affront to the gods!"
"Your illusory ways are exactly why your kind are hunted, Abomination."
>"We hide because we're hunted!"
"Nay, you're hunted because you hide."
>What choice was I given?"
"Surrender yourself."
>"And die?"
"I cannot change our code."
>"And in spite of what it may seem, I cannot change myself!"
"Well, you eat babies."
>"Gods damn it all, I do not eat babies!"

>>308322
The gods no longer answer with words as they did ages before, but they still speak through actions. If slaying Abominations were an unrighteous act, it would cost the Paladins who did so they Paladinhood. It does not, so it is not.

Yet, an almost humorous notion of yours that I heard several times still linger. You fail to understand that these are creatures that the gods themselves frown upon...

You require a demonstration.
>>
No. 308374 ID: a9ba96
File 130697255943.png - (87.42KB , 437x329 , Dungeoncrawlers086.png )
308374

I pick up Faer's sword from the ground.

>"Lin, what are you doing?"
"Proving a point."

I pass the blade to the Changeling.
"Abomination, can you read Elven?"
>"...Yes. What are you getting at, Paladin?"
"Hold the blade in the light, upon it you will find the Paladin's Oath written in Elven tounge. If you seek survival, you will swear the Oath."
>>
No. 308375 ID: 07416a

>>308372
I really doubt they eat babies, Lin.
>>
No. 308376 ID: 856690

More to the point, I don't think this one has eaten babies, can only smite after a foul deed has been done.
>>
No. 308380 ID: a9ba96
File 130697393748.png - (36.23KB , 304x252 , Dungeoncrawlers087.png )
308380

He turns the blade in his hands. It glistens in the light.

>"I seek the guidance of thy Goddess of Protection... wait, why is it... like that?"
"Like what?"
>"Thy goddess"
"Prophesies and creeds and stuff are always written like that. It's customary, I think."
>"...Alright then.
>I seek the guidance of thy Goddess of Protection to aid me 'till the end of thy life, which I shall henceforth dedicate to the struggle against evil.
>The Paladin is a Protector, thus so shalt I be.
>The Paladin is Just, and so shat I be
>The Paladin is Honest, and so shat I be
>The Paladin is Loyal, and so shat I be
>Guide me, O Goddess of Protection, and ensure that from thine path I shall never stray.
>Goddess of Protection, bless me with your gift.

"Good. Now draw the sword across your hand. If your oath is true, the Goddess will see this act as a sign of trust in her and protect you from the blade."
>"..."

Ath visibly winces as he pulls the sword across his hand.

I told you. What a godforsaken lot these Changelings-
>>
No. 308381 ID: a9ba96
File 130697403284.png - (49.29KB , 281x441 , Dungeoncrawlers088.png )
308381

Suddenly, Ath's body begins to emanate with a glowing aura.
>>
No. 308382 ID: a9ba96
File 130697406089.png - (70.10KB , 445x355 , Dungeoncrawlers089.png )
308382

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT

WHAT

>>
No. 308383 ID: 44766a

Ha, told you so.
>>
No. 308384 ID: 07416a

AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Everything you know is wrong.
>>
No. 308385 ID: 44766a

Wait, why do the Gods not speak any more?
>>
No. 308391 ID: cffd13

Well, looks like your going to have to try it on every type of creature that has the ability to reason with you now! After this that is the only way to truly be sure.
>>
No. 308393 ID: 00d3d5

>>308382
A protector without mercy is a tyrant, Lin.

See, this is an example of what we call dogmatic law.
Paladins all believe that changelings are both innately evil and have committed evil acts, so when a paladin kills one they truly believe that they are enacting the will of the goddess and that is enough for them to remain in her grace.

The reality is that people are defined by their choices, and nobody -not even an abomination- is born evil.

Your goddess, having been called to invoke her judgement directly, has rather decisively shown that your order is, regrettably, in error.

All this is besides the point, of course. You have a novice paladin in need of guidance, equipment, and assurance that the goddess's mercy will see him hunted no more.
Lets hold off on branding him or snipping his family jewels though, since he's far from ready to go off on his own and that's a decision for your superiors to make.

Anyway, you should probably see if you can meet up with some other paladins for spare equipment and so they can pass word of what just happened to your leaders.
I say they should pass it along because you should rejoin Mark; anything that can scare kobolds into actually attacking a human town is something that requires paladin intervention.
>>
No. 308394 ID: 35e1a0

orb: 1 lin: 0
seems the reason killing them didn't make people lose their power was ignorance. you cannot be punished for breaking a rule you do not know.
>>
No. 308399 ID: 00d3d5

>>308394
It's not an unknown rule, it's acting on bad information.

Ironic how contracting with your goddess achieved the goal that the contract with a demon failed to accomplish, isn't it?
After all, he won't be hunted, hated, or persecuted again.
>>
No. 308402 ID: 28e94e

>>308382
:coolface:
>>
No. 308406 ID: 856690

This may make you feel very bad, but well after that there may be a reason you and your order can't hear the Goddess...

It may have something to do with killing people you aren't supposed to.
Well lesson learnt anyway, Gods are way better at judging than mortals
>>
No. 308409 ID: eba49f

>>308406
I think there are other signs of being a paladin that she still has, like the holy aura and such.

@Lin: If the rules for this end of paladinhood aren't what you thought it was, what of the other end? When is the last time someone got themselves de-paladined, and for what act?

>>308399
This isn't the end of his troubles by far. It will take a lot of work to convince others that he is for real. It will also take a lot of work to educate him in not making stupid choices next time (because apparently being a paladin doesn't make you any more immune to that.)
>>
No. 308414 ID: 1854db

Okay so... hang on.

Killing him wouldn't have lost you your Paladinhood, but he could become a Paladin as well? How does that work out?

Hmm. A question- has any Paladin before done something they *thought* was a good act, but lost their Paladinhood because of it?
>>
No. 308416 ID: a9ba96
File 130697998356.png - (127.44KB , 433x405 , Dungeoncrawlers090.png )
308416

I just don't... but...

There's plenty of people who try to get out of punishment by asking to perform the oath. In fact, we usually offer people we're about to smite a chance to swear the Paladin's oath. It just... almost never works. And never with Changelings.

I... I don't think our order has done wrong. The Goddess doesn't talk to us, but the Gods don't directly talk to anyone anymore. Not since a long, long time ago. We're still in her graces... we still have her blessings... the last time a Paladin actually lost their powers was for the truly unrighteous act of murdering another Paladin. The Goddess smiles on our order but... but...

>"Wow, who would have guessed you could be so... forgiving, Lin! I don't know where you got the hunch that the Goddess might have finally forgiven the Changeling, but I think we stumbled on something big here!"
"Not now, Faer."
>"Well, it makes sense if you think about it, right? Ath seemed truly willing to help..."
"Not now, Faer."
>"And if being a Changeling isn't a crime anymore..."
"Please Faer, later."
>"...That just leaves the murders and the deal. Since he was under the deal, I guess the murders can't really be counted..."
"Faer."
>"Which just leaves the deal itself in oder for him to be clean enough for Paladinhood. And his deal was broken when he took the oath!"
"Faer, later. Please."
>"And that really doesn't matter much anyway, does it. I mean, there's plenty of paladins who joined the order in order to break contracts they couldn't break otherwise, right?"
>>
No. 308417 ID: a9ba96
File 130698002332.png - (1.61KB , 376x304 , blank4.png )
308417

>"I mean, that's why you, joined the order, right Lin?"
"...Yes, Faer."
>>
No. 308418 ID: a9ba96
File 130698003905.png - (31.84KB , 186x323 , Dungeoncrawlers091.png )
308418

zzzzz
>>
No. 308419 ID: 44766a

HEY! WAKE UP! Guess what. Lin just oath-ed in a Changeling as a paladin. It was cool.
>>
No. 308421 ID: 1854db

>>308418
GODDAMN IT MARK YOU BETTER NOT HAVE MISSED FINDING OUT WHO TOOK THE BAG
>>
No. 308422 ID: 00d3d5

>>308418
HIYA, MARK!
LIN JUST GOT INTO A FIGHT WITH AN 8TH CIRCLE DEMON! AND A CHANGELING!

I dunno why we were sent back to you; it was exciting to see somebody competent in action.
>>
No. 308423 ID: 35e1a0

mark i swear to whatever gods you worship we will find a way to hurt you if you messed this up! lin just beat a circle 8 demon, you need to do something amazing to show you are still worth our time.
>>
No. 308430 ID: eba49f

Mark? Is prince "can't tell a 'great journey' from an obvious suicide mission" being a better adventurer than you? That would be kind of very sad.
>>
No. 308434 ID: 05359e

So remember that guy you freed from the stocks? well turns out he was a changling called Ath. He got sick of having to run and hide all the time so he made a deal with a 8th circle demon that would give him the strength to stand up for himself, only because this was demon there was a catch. Basically Ath had to kill anything that was a threat to him, even if he didnt want to. Anyway Lin found him and the demon, they fought, Lin tricked the demon into threatening Ath and so he had to cancel their deal and disappear. Then Lin tried to prove to us that changlings were evil by having Ath take the paladins oath, only the oath was successful and Ath became a paladin. Lin's face was priceless.
>>
No. 308535 ID: a9ba96
File 130704558645.png - (106.29KB , 426x385 , Dungeoncrawlers092.png )
308535

Huh? What's that? I wasn't asleep, I was just uh, just...

Wait, Changeling Paladins?

>"Ah, you're awake my good friend! Remember when I came up with the idea for you to use my mirror to spy on the Kobolds?"
"...Sort of."
>"Well, I noticed you were nodding off a bit, so I decided to take over for you. After all, I need my bodyguard awake and alert for the journey ahead. But no matter, take a look at this!"
>>
No. 308536 ID: a9ba96
File 130704575223.png - (64.13KB , 304x253 , Dungeoncrawlers093.png )
308536

"Old bow guy?"
>"Yes?"
"You said something about Elven thieves?"
>"Yes, we ran a pair of Elven thieves out of the town a week ago who were stealing from our Inn. Does this have something to do with the well?"

He took the bag, but it looks like he put something in, too. Just what is going on here?
>>
No. 308544 ID: 35e1a0

tell bow guy what's happening. perhaps it's these elves who have a hostage. there are several kinds of toxins that kill if you stop ingesting them, could of poisoned some bolds and unless they keep getting the stuff they die. scratch following the bolds, let's follow this elf.
>>
No. 308572 ID: 1854db

>>308536
Damn, if we act now the other elf will know something went wrong.

On the other hand we will have one of them captive, and if there's any honor among thieves we can negotiate. I'm not sure what to do. Ask the old bow guy for advice.
>>
No. 308613 ID: 701a19

>>308536
Tell Old Bow Guy that the elf thief scared off the kobolds.
Have him hit the elf with an arrow. In a leg, preferably.
>>
No. 308628 ID: a9ba96
File 130706641648.png - (84.48KB , 324x269 , Dungeoncrawlers094.png )
308628

The Elven thief steps off to the side and inspects the bag. As he does, a Kobold runs over to the well and removes the bag he placed within its bucket.

"Old Bow Guy?"
>"I have a name, boy."
"I'm sure you do, but this is important. There's a thiefy looking Elf who just swapped a bag that the Kobolds put in the well for uh, for another bag. And then the Kobolds took that bad. I think that this is a trade off or something."
>"Why, that doesn't make a lick of sense. What business does a thief have dealing with Kobolds?"

I'm not sure what's up here, but I'll admit that I'm getting a pretty eager to find out. There's supposed to be two of these Thief Elves, but I'm only seeing one right now...

"RING RING RING"

Sounds like the Kobolds and our Elf friend are about to part ways, though. Unless you think it's a good time to break up this little handoff, We're going to have to decide if we're going to try tailing the Elf or the Kobolds fast.
>>
No. 308630 ID: 00d3d5

>>308628
The elf, then. A tribe of kobolds is much easier to find than an elf thief, and we told Lin that there were kobolds here causing trouble
>>
No. 308645 ID: 1854db

>>308630
...yeah, valid points both. Of course it would be easier to *follow* the kobolds too, and safer, but we will most likely be completely unable to find the elves if we let this one go now.
>>
No. 308651 ID: 35e1a0

ask if the loaction of the kobold's camp is known, if so then follow the elf, if not then tell them to find it and still follow the elf.
>>
No. 308900 ID: a9ba96
File 130714818575.png - (57.21KB , 530x377 , Dungeoncrawlers095.png )
308900

The Kobolds retreat back into the woods, and the Elf heads down the path heading west towards the town I burned down.

"Looks like they're leaving. If we hurry, we should be able to follow the Elf wherever he's going. Do you know how to get to the Kobold camp?"
>"It's through the woods next to the inn. They've probably laid down traps, but there's a path they take right from the camp to our village."
"Alright. If we leave now, we should be able to follow that elf. I'll be back through later."
>"I really appreciate what you're doing for us. The outlands could use more people like you."
"Thanks, I-"

The Prince sighs.
>"Can we get going? I hope we can end this whole escapade soon and get back to the real task at hand."

The Old Bow Guy nods his head, and the Prince and I head out.
>>
No. 308902 ID: a9ba96
File 130714825280.png - (295.56KB , 1024x789 , Dungeoncrawlers096.png )
308902

We manage to follow the Elf down the path for a while without him noticing us. After about fifteen minutes, he heads off the path and towards a stream, where another thiefy looking Elf is waiting for him. She also seems to have a bag.

She's admiring the scenery, as Elves tend to do. The prince and I get as close as we can to listen in on their conversation.

>"How did the hand-off go?"
>"There was no problem. There never is."
>"Did you count the money?"
>"Yes, on the way over. Nessya, do you have the bag for tomorrow?"
>"Yes."
>"...Nessya, do you ever wonder what she's doing with all of this stuff?"
>"We've been over this before. As long as they keep paying as well as they do, I don't care what she has those Kobolds doing."
>>
No. 308905 ID: 35e1a0

using the bolds as a go between by the girl. wonder what they are up to. think you can fight two elves?
>>
No. 308909 ID: 1854db

Okay, so they're gathering something and getting paid for it. It's pretty obvious by now that the 'missing girl' is the one leading the Kobolds, but... what is she doing exactly? If we can capture the elves then we can bring them to justice... One is looking back at you though, you may have been spotted.

I want to find out first and foremost what they are collecting for the girl. Hmm. They are thieves... maybe we can fool them into thinking you're lost in the woods. Perhaps they would be lured into attempting to rob you, while the prince circles around to ambush them from behind.
>>
No. 308946 ID: 00d3d5

>>308902
Sneak up behind them and poke them in the back with your blades - just hard enough for them to understand you're armed and have the drop on them.

"We have questions. You have answers. Lets trade then all go on our merry ways, yes?"
>>
No. 308958 ID: 07416a

>>308902
Just rush in and tackle them. Being a not-elf you should have the advantage on the ground.
>>
No. 309243 ID: a9ba96
File 130729689506.png - (127.01KB , 337x591 , Dungeoncrawlers097.png )
309243

I keep my voice low, to keep the Elves from hearing us. Those gigantic pointy ears aren’t just for show, after all!

“Psst, Samwell. We’re going to need to distract these thieves so we can-”
>“Oooh no. I know what you’re thinking here, and there is no way I’m letting those cretins potentially stab me just so I can play distraction for this little plan of yours. The only reason why I hadn’t suggested that we just kept heading to Egias is because it wouldn’t be proper for a future monarch to tell people they’re going to be helped and then not help them. We could have ambushed those Kobolds, marched up into the forest, saved that girl, and left this pair of peasant thieves twiddling their fingers hours ago. There is no way-”
“Samwell, I’m supposed to be your bodyguard, remember? I’ll distract them, you go around back to catch them off guard.”
>“…Oh. Alright then, fair enough.”
>>
No. 309244 ID: a9ba96
File 130729692031.png - (296.17KB , 476x470 , Dungeoncrawlers098.png )
309244

I step out from behind the trees and wave non-threateningly to the pair of Elves.
“Hello? Could you two help me out a bit? I uh, I strayed a bit too far off the path and now I think I might be a bit lost. Could either of you point me back onto the path to Egias?”

The two thieves exchange glances and smile, then begin to approach.
>“That’s quite a shame, human. It’s dangerous to be wandering off the path in these forests if you don’t know the way back. If the bearhounds don’t get you, the bandits that lurk these woods certainly will.”
>“That’s a nice sword you have there. Architecture of the hilt strikes me as Elven design.”
“Yeah, I got it from a uh, a friend of mine. Elves sure make some fancy looking swords.”
>“Indeed we do. We have a natural eye for detail.”
>“Would you mind handing it over so we can take a closer look?”
“That’s fine, really. I think that uh, that I’ll just be holding onto it, it‘s all the same to you.”

A blade extends from the female thief’s sleeve, and the male thief begins to reach for something under his cape.

>“We insist, hand over the sword. We wouldn’t want any trouble, would we?”
>>
No. 309246 ID: a9ba96
File 130729741279.png - (257.32KB , 683x475 , Dungeoncrawlers099.png )
309246

Samwell quickly taps both thieves on the back with his sword. The male thief freezes in fear, and the female thief sighs and mutters something in Elven tongue.
>“I don’t take kindly to ruffians who threaten my good friends. I humbly request that you desist that nonsense immediately.”
“We have questions and you have answers. Let’s trade them and all go on our merry ways, yes? What are you trading to the Kobolds?”

The male thief begins to speak.
>“Alright, alright. You got the drop on us, fair and square, just don’t hurt us and I’ll tell you anything you want, okay?”

Before he can continue, however, the female thief cuts him off.
>“Damn it Vinbal, listen to yourself. After all of this, you’re just going to let a pair of bumbling humans ruin everything? I’ve waited too long for a break like this to go back to picking pockets in the streets of Thernt!”
>>
No. 309249 ID: a9ba96
File 130729768773.png - (118.38KB , 437x322 , Dungeoncrawlers100.png )
309249

Suddenly, the Elf spins around, dropping her bag to the ground and extending another blade from her sleeve and knocking Samwell’s blade to the side, catching him off guard. She reaches behind her hood, grabbing for her sword.
>>
No. 309253 ID: a9ba96
File 130729808388.png - (446.81KB , 675x515 , Dungeoncrawlers101.png )
309253

Well, it looks like it’s time to save the day.

I’m not really sure how long Samwell can hold out against the thief. He’s no novice, but I can’t risk him getting hurt. I should probably get over to help him as fast as I can. The other Elf is standing between me and them, but he seems unsure of what to do. His eyes keep darting between me, my sword, and his cape, and his hand is shaking as he holds it over whatever weapon he’s concealing.

He may hesitant to attack, but that doesn’t mean he won’t defend himself if I make a move. I have to make whatever I do next count.
>>
No. 309266 ID: 35e1a0

use bearhound maneuver, throw us to the dude elf and say catch. then rush the female and go for a hard bludgeon to the skull.
>>
No. 309269 ID: 44766a

I agree with the bearhound maneuver.
>>
No. 309393 ID: 00d3d5

>>309253
"Honestly? There's a bunch of Paladins on the way here. We're just trying to get a reward out of the town before they show up and kill everybody."
>>
No. 309495 ID: 1854db

I dunno if it's a good idea to toss us when there's more than one enemy around and we can't really predict what will happen afterwards.

The guy has a weapon under his cape, so cut off his cape. He'll be disarmed, so you can knock him out or kick him over or do whatever you feel is needed, and slash the other guy in the back (quick, non-lethal, distracting, painful) to help the Prince. He didn't react well to just being held up so you need to demonstrate that you WILL hurt him if he doesn't give up.
>>
No. 309552 ID: 28e94e

>>309253
Throw us at the guy attacking Samwell, and tackle the other guy.
>>
No. 309584 ID: eba49f

I support the 'paladins are coming' option. Say something like:

"You should know that there is a team of Paladins coming this way that know about the Kobolds. If you tell us what we want, this whole affair can be resolved before the Paladins find out about about you."
>>
No. 311595 ID: a9ba96
File 130774816465.png - (165.64KB , 484x526 , dungeoncrawlers102.png )
311595

I make a quick slash, cutting through the pendant connecting the thief's cape. The cape drops to the ground, along with whatever weapon the elf backs up and holds both hands in front of his face.

>"I surrender! I surrender! Please don't hurt me!"
"You should know that there's a team of Paladins coming this way that know about the Kobolds. If you tell us what we want, this whole affair can be resolved before the Paladins find out about about you."
>"Whatever you say!"
"Good. Stay right there, I'll be right back."
>>
No. 311596 ID: a9ba96
File 130774824093.png - (106.82KB , 350x399 , dungeoncrawlers103.png )
311596

I push past him and charge his partner from behind.

THWACK
>"Hnngh!"

The female thief falls to the ground, dazed.
>>
No. 311597 ID: a9ba96
File 130774826799.png - (166.64KB , 518x415 , Dungeoncrawlers104.png )
311597

The Prince looks to me with a smile.
>“Good show, my friend. This ruffian never knew what hit her.”
“Uh, thanks.”

I look down at the elf.
“What are you trading with the Kobolds?”
>“Screw you.”

The male elf calls out to his partner from behind.
>“Nessya, there’s paladins on their way to the town , and these guys say they know about the deal.”
She sighs.
>“Damn it…”
“Please, tell us what’s going on. We don‘t want any trouble, alright?”
>“…There’s this girl from the town who’s working with the Kobolds. She’s got them convinced they’ve nabbed her, but she’s really using the Kobolds to trade with us. She’s been giving us a lot of money, and we’ve been giving her weapons. Military-grade stuff, not the junk you find on the merchants out here.”
“And how are you getting your hands on military-grade weapons?”
>“…We know the right people.”
“Well, do you know what she wants the weapons for?”
>“No idea. Didn’t really care, as long as we were getting paid.”
“You don’t know why she would-”

The Prince suddenly cuts me off.
>“Mark, my good friend. It’s obvious that these petty thieves have no idea what’s going on. All peasants like these two care about is getting their hands on gold, they care not at whose expense! But I have an idea - just because these two are oblivious to whatever grand scheme they’ve gotten themselves caught up in doesn’t mean they’re of no use to us. Our next stop is the Kobold camp, yes? I’ve little doubt that the sneaky little rats have laid all sorts of traps along the way to their camp. I say we make these two walk the path for us first, to check for any nasty surprises those Kobolds may have left for us.”
He laughs a bit to himself before continuing.
>“What do you say, Mark? After trying to mug you and trying to kill me, it’s the least they can do to make it up to us!”
>>
No. 311600 ID: 1854db

How are they fitting military-grade weapons in bags that fit in the bucket? What are they trading exactly? Certainly not swords.

Perhaps we could use them to scout the path to the kobolds... Their skills would be of use in avoiding any traps set up there, and we can exchange that service for their freedom. Or at least, a promise that their punishment will not be as severe.
>>
No. 311604 ID: 35e1a0

hmm, yes. they are elves, and thieves at that. they should be good at finding traps and such. if they can spot 2 traps before us, each, they can go free. throwing them upon traps is a bit mean. oh and hold their gold. tell them if they get you ALL the way to the camp safely they can have i back.
>>
No. 311612 ID: 252e1b

>>311600

They trade the location of a cache of weapons they placed prior to the exchange, of course. They get paid, they leave a note explaining where the weapons are, and that's the end of that deal.

So, where is the latest cache hidden? We can spy on the rebels or bandits or whatever who the girl is supplying if we're fast.

These two thieves are jerks, no doubt about it, but we're not going to the kobold camp now. We're going to the cache site.

As for punishments, they should be remanded to the custody of Old Bow Guy and the rest of the town. Since this area is not under the jurisdiction of any greater authority, the town can decide what to do with them (be it forgiven, punished somehow, or given to the paladins for punishment).

At least, that's the just thing to do.
>>
No. 311619 ID: eba49f

We don't want them to go in front of us unwillingly because they could alert any guards, and if they see a trap they might avoid it without telling us about it.
Something we might do is offer them a cut of the Kobold's gold if they help us stop them (pointing out that this is the only way they are going to get any more money out of them).

The whole weapons deal thing still doesn't explain why they needed to meet in the town, so there is more going on here than just a weapons deal.
>>
No. 311628 ID: 40cb26

Good questions, but what we ask first is that they give all the details about this they know. Anything they neglect to mention, evade or just doesn't sound right, press them on.
>>
No. 311647 ID: 28e94e

>>311619
This is a solid suggestion.
>>
No. 311675 ID: a9ba96
File 130775731077.png - (127.26KB , 530x727 , Dungeoncrawlers105.png )
311675

Good idea. Before we decide what to do with these guys, we better press for a bit more information. Something doesn't seem right here.

"Why the town, though? Is this whole "Kobolds hold up town to use well" thing necessary?"
>"It's her idea, not ours. I don't know what she wants to do, but she says it won't work unless the people are afraid of the Kobolds."
"What weapons are you trading with the Kobolds, anyway? The bag seems a bit small for swords."
>"Whatever weapons she needs this week. We use bags of holding for our trades, we can put whatever we want in it."
"A bag of holding? That's some pretty powerful magic, and you don't exactly strike me as mighty wizards. Where are you getting your hands on those?"
>"...Like I said, we know the right people."
"And what people do you know?"
>"I might be a bit more inclined to tell you if your friend wasn't holding his sword to my neck."
>"And I might be a bit more inclined to slip if you don't keep talking, thief."
"She dropped her bag when she attacked you, Samwell, let me check it for the weapons they were... wait, where did the bag go?"

Suddenly, a voice rings out.

>"What's the problem? Something missing?"

Oh gods damn it.
>>
No. 311677 ID: a9ba96
File 130775761922.png - (364.76KB , 755x689 , Dungeoncrawlers106.png )
311677

>"Fancy running into you all the way out here, huh?"
"Oh for fu- Mary! How long have you guys been following us?"

Oh gods, these guys. They call themselves "The Pack," and they've pretty much been my rivals ever since I started adventuring. They've made it a habit at this point to follow me around and ruin my day.

Their leader, Mary, is pretty much the most irritating, pestering kleptomaniac I've ever met.

She's also my sister, but that's beyond the point.
>>
No. 311683 ID: 65d267

>>311677
Wow she has like, a whole party. Why don't you have a part-- nevermind.
>>
No. 311685 ID: 35e1a0

"look, we are in the middle of something, are you saying you want in or to take over the case?"
>>
No. 311686 ID: 0d095c

Yeah. These guys. Are utterly pathetic.

Remember all those mean things we said about you at the start? These guys are worse. They are following a ROOKIE around. Interfering in ACTUAL CRIMES. Because they are douchebags. FUCK THESE GUYS.

Where are those Knight Templar Paladins? I miss their honesty with themselves.
>>
No. 311687 ID: 40cb26

Yes, there is something missing that is evidence which matters a great deal to the paladins. No matter what was in it, it wouldn't be worth the trouble to take that now would it? Certainly there is better chance for profit in someone being helpful than pissing them off, don't you agree?
>>
No. 311695 ID: 1854db

>>311677
Just ask her what's in it.

Also you say they're your rivals... do they do good deeds? If so, how do they handle having a klepto in their party?
>>
No. 311858 ID: eba49f

>>311695
They probably do things the way most of your less scrupulous adventurer types do things. Kill some monsters or bandits threatening a village, then rummage through the houses looking for valuables.

If you have successfully been a rival to four guys (some mages, even!) by yourself, that means you are either better than we have seen so far or these guys are utter losers .
>>
No. 311859 ID: 0d095c

I'm going with utter losers, since our buddy's most notable achievements are accidentally freeing psychotic killers and burning down villages, and he's a good guy.

These guys must be such ABJECT FAILURES at being good, they've become pitiful bullies and thieves. And they've FAILED AT THAT TOO since the only guy they're antagonizing is MARK, plaything of the universe. Don't worry Mark, you're better than them. Just tell them about the squad of Paladins who want that bag.

Or better yet, find the Girl and her kobolds, and have them kill these losers. The buggers'll never see it coming.
>>
No. 311860 ID: eba49f

>>311859
Now that you mention it...
Kobolds are fond of making traps
You have some incompetent adventurers bugging you
Witless adventurers make much better trap detectors than coerced thieves, as the thieves could notice a trap then purposely avoid it without disarming it. And I admit I am curious to how these guys would do in a fight against a kobold band.
>>
No. 311893 ID: c2f34f

>>311677
"Lovely."
Turn to the thieves
"You two can go, or we can see about hiring you as scouts. The paladins won't bother you either way."
Turn back to your sister
"Unfortunately for you they WILL want both that bag and its contents, and I'll need it in order to sort this out before they arrive."
>>
No. 311903 ID: a9ba96
File 130781560861.png - (122.74KB , 492x480 , Dungeoncrawlers107.png )
311903

Mary formed The Pack after we kicked her out of our adventuring group for stealing everything that isn’t nailed down. They only help when helping is profitable, and even then they’re more likely to shake you down for more then you offered if they’re not happy with the reward. Most the time, they just ambush travelers and take their stuff or raid dungeons.

It’s not like I’m the only guy they pester or anything, it’s just that Mary won’t pass up a good opportunity to screw up whatever I’m trying to do if we cross paths, and in the outlands you tend to cross paths with rivaling adventuring groups a lot. These guys really aren’t my rivals as much as they were my old adventuring group’s rivals, but ever since my group slit up Mary decided to shift attention to mostly just antagonizing me.

I really wish I could say that these guys are as incompetent as you insist I am, but unfortunately they’re pretty effective at what they do. What they do being, uh, well, being giant jerks to everyone they meet.

Samwell looks over his shoulder.
>“Friends of yours?”
No.
>>
No. 311905 ID: a9ba96
File 130781570681.png - (167.66KB , 351x541 , Dungeoncrawlers108.png )
311905

The Pack consists of four members. My sister Mary is head of the group, and specializes in being a pest and taking things that don’t belong to her. She’s not as big a threat as her henchmen here, though.

Tur Hillgrinder is the Dwarf. He’s actually pretty short for a Dwarf, which is a pretty amazing feat, all things considered. It’s a pretty touchy subject for him - it’s likely that one of his parents was a Gnome, but you would be a fool to suggest that in front of his face. He compensates for his size by wielding really, really big weapons.

The Elf’s name is Furor Eternity. He has that whole “dark, brooding quiet guy” thing going on, I guess as an attempt to come off as mysterious or something. The guy doesn’t say much, but he’s a pretty talented mage, if not a bit reckless in his spell casting.

The little girl is Eline. She’s really not that bad, but she considers the rest of The Pack her friends and does what they tell her to. She’s a novice sorcerer on her own, but she has all sorts of crazy pendants and jewels that she wears that increase her abilities to ridiculous levels. The drawback is that she lacks the experience to properly control that much power, which only makes her more dangerous when she's nervous.

“Mary, there’s something big going on here and there’s paladins on their way. When they come, they’re going to want the bag you just stole as evidence. Can you please, for once in your life, not complicate things more than they already are? Just give us the bag, okay? I’m sure you don’t want the paladins after you.”
>“Hmm, it’s a tempting offer, but I think if we leave now we can be long gone before the smite crew arrives.”
“If you help us out with this, I’m sure you and your friends could get something out of it.”
>“I have a better idea. How about we take the bag, and you let us take the bag, or else Eline is going to magic you in the face.”
>“I…I am?”
>“Yes Eline, you are.”
>“O..Okay then, M-miss Mary.”
>>
No. 311916 ID: 1854db

>>311905
Three powerful adventurers against two moderately-equipped swordsmen... not good odds. We'd have to turn them against eachother somehow to stand any chance at winning a fight.

No, the best way to go here is to not argue about the bag. Instead, how about we 'accidentally' reveal the location of the kobold camp and that the thieves have been getting all their gold by dealing with them? She'd want that gold. We'll be sending her directly into an enemy camp that has a bunch of military-grade weapons.

Then we just follow behind her and watch as her group takes all the heat. Then we can (hopefully) find the leader and capture her to stop the fight.
>>
No. 311918 ID: 40cb26

"You can get away from this group of them for now, but think about it. Do you want to be on the paladins shit list or do you want to be in their good graces? Maybe you don't mind being known to the paladins as thieves and wanted for questioning in all of this, but what about your friends? Especially cute little Eline who still has her whole life ahead of her? Consider the long term effects of what you do for once."

And yes you will kinda sorta flirt with the girl. Deal with it, it's innocent enough and her embarrassment will be as dangerous to them as you.
>>
No. 311928 ID: 0d095c

Point out that getting everyone declared "Kill on sight" outlaws is NOT very conducive to the groups continued un-decapitatedness. And point out that the paladins can SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING. Right now. DON'T let on that the magic necklace does it, but do say that the paladin's are scrying this area or something.
>>
No. 311951 ID: 35e1a0

yes "well, if you DON'T want to get a bag of holding full of gold then take that bag you got."
>>
No. 311967 ID: 00d3d5

>>311905
"That sounds like a reasonable plan, up until you consider that the paladins are hunting a mass murderer that was last seen in this area, and stealing smuggled weapons that might be related and evidence of said weapon smuggling is a death sentence.
It's not worth it, Mary. I'll have to rat you out for this, and they will hunt you down for it.

I'm serious! I'm not even getting PAID for this! They just press-ganged me into service because they needed an advance scout!"
>>
No. 311974 ID: 00d3d5

>>311967
"Kingdom paladins, not outlands! They don't do that!"
>>
No. 311983 ID: 252e1b

Give us to your sister, she's probably more fun than you.
>>
No. 312014 ID: a9ba96
File 130782744611.png - (74.31KB , 286x445 , Dungeoncrawlers109.png )
312014

"Mary, consider the long term effects of things you do for once in your life. The Paladins are on their way investigating a mass murderer who was last seen in the same town these weapons were being exchanged in before killing everyone in a village as it burned to the ground. If they end up connecting the two, then being found in possession of smuggled weapons that may be linked to the murderer would be a death sentence for you and your crew. They will hunt you down, and I don't think you want to throw your life away over a couple of swords."
>"Oh, you mean the mass murderer you let free in the town you burned down?"
"What the... how did you kn-"
>"I didn't. I had a hunch though. And now I have a confession. See how that "being smarter than you" thing works?"
"..."
>"Me and the rest of The Pack saw a town burning down yesterday and figured it would be good looting material, but we had to wait for the paladins to leave. They left this stupid Goblin who gave us a pretty good description of a guy who looked like you to us locked in the stocks, and he offered to tell me where a pair of thieves with a lot of weapons met if we let him go."
"Did, uh...did you?"
>"Haha, nope. Stupid Goblin..."
She pauses.
>"Hmm, they've been exchanging these weapons, you say?"
"...N..no."
>"Whatever. How about this- you show us where the guys these elves have been trading with are, and you can have the bag back, deal?"
"..."
>"Oh, it's not like I'm too worried about the Paladins anyway. The group patrolling around here is led by your old girlfriend, so I'm pretty sure she would have given me a break even if they caught us. What do you say, Mark?"

I hate Mary so much.
>>
No. 312022 ID: 0d095c

Yeah. She ain't gonna be givin HER a break. Thank god for psychic balls.

Also, Mark, your sister is kind of a bitch. I'd tell you to kick the hell out of her, but she'd just cheat and make you look stupid. Still. KOBOLDS. Go find them, team up with the Evil Little Girl, AND KILL YOUR EVIL SISTER.
>>
No. 312024 ID: 35a114

>>312014
Bluh what an ugly cow. Clearly you got all the looks from your parents, while she got all the bitch. As for what to do here I'm actually all for just going "fuck it" and forgetting about that town. I mean is there any real reason you need to be doing this goody two shoes shit? There isn't even a reward or anything! I say just set off in whatever direction Egias is in.
>>
No. 312033 ID: 00d3d5

>>312014
"First, that murderer was already caught and headed in a different direction.
Second, the Paladins already know about that, and don't care.
Third, they're periodically scrying the area around me and sending me messages.
Fourth, yes, ok, Lin is here, but she's not the only group. I don't know who this guy killed, but the Paladins were out in force looking for him when they noticed the town.
...
Ok, fine. I'm not supposed to talk about this, but he's suspected of regicide and it'll be war if his head isn't on a pike soon. You need to get out of here before you get caught up in this, and if there's even a possibility that you took evidence that could prove who killed who then they are going to hunt you down.
I mean, shit! I burned a town down and they're calling it even for me scouting leads! Do you not realize the magnitude of how serious things are when a bunch of smite-happy brutes think that's fair?"
>>
No. 312041 ID: 1854db

I don't agree with trying to weave a web of lies.

Let's just trade the bag of gold for the bag of weapons.
>>
No. 312044 ID: 35e1a0

tell her where the bold camp is and let her group stumble into those traps.
>>
No. 312198 ID: eba49f

Making a complicated story up is currently much more trouble than it is worth. (The exception being that we should avoid telling them about the prince. They might try ransoming {though if they do we could just point out that there is nobody who would pay for him}).

>>312044
Seconding this, but we should not act too eager to get them to go to the camp first. We should ask them how we know they will give us the bag if we tell them where the elves's contact is.
>>
No. 315474 ID: a9ba96
File 130859046372.png - (209.83KB , 633x513 , Dungeoncrawlers110.png )
315474

"Mary... let's pretend, just for the sake of argument, that I decide to ignore everything you've ever done and help you. How do I know I'm going to get that bag when we're done?"
>"You don't. That's the fun of it, you're gonna have to take my word for it. Just like old times, Mark!"
"Mary, you're going to have to do better than that if you want our help."
>"Unless you have something better to give us, it's the only way you're gonna get this bag."
>>
No. 315476 ID: 35e1a0

pause and look like you are thinking about it. then sigh and be like "fine, i guess i have no choice" and then let them run down the trapped path to the kobold's camp
>>
No. 315478 ID: 00d3d5

>>315474
Sigh "Fine, we'll do it your way."
Let her lead.

Turn to the thieves and say "You're both pretty smart and clever. If you want to come along I'll pay you for your work. Just show them all the traps on the way to the kobold camp - easy work since you've been meeting them there every day."
>>
No. 315480 ID: 07416a

LIIIIN!!! MARK IS ACTUALLY SOLVING A PROBLEM FOR ONCE BUT THERE A BITCH NEEDS KILLING WHO IS FUCKING EVERYTHING UP!
>>
No. 315481 ID: 252e1b

Wait, Mark, I have the answer.

Set the bag on fire.
>>
No. 315528 ID: 1854db

Hmm. She wants something better, eh?

Let's look in the bag o weapons to see what's in it. Maybe we can bargain something from that.
>>
No. 316724 ID: a9ba96
File 130884018283.png - (302.97KB , 537x596 , Dungeoncrawlers111.png )
316724

"...Fine. I guess we'll do things your way."

The easiest way to get these guys off our backs would probably be leading them into a trap on the way to the camp. I turn to the two Thieves.

"You're both pretty clever. If you guys want your bag back, I'm going to need for you guys to check for traps on the way to the camp and show them to my friends."

The male thief, still shaken up, quickly agrees.
>"S..Sure! We'll do whatever you want!"

A sly smirk spreads across the female thief's face as she nods her head. She seems to have caught on.
>>
No. 316725 ID: a9ba96
File 130884031665.png - (118.25KB , 342x453 , Dungeoncrawlers112.png )
316725

>"Well if that's settled, I'm getting tired of standing around here. You losers ready to get moving?"
>>
No. 316726 ID: a9ba96
File 130884076666.png - (107.14KB , 362x609 , Dungeoncrawlers113.png )
316726

"Yeah. I'd say we're ready."

You know what? I wasn't sure what to make of you guys at first. Frankly, I was a worried that I had found a necklace built to insult the user or something. But after spending a bit of time with you, I think you may have been just what I needed.

If I'm to be a great hero, the kind whose legends live on through the generations, I need to be able to think on my feet. I've made my fair share of mistakes, sure, but with you guys in tow...

I think we just might be able to make this work.
>>
No. 316727 ID: a9ba96
File 130884097762.png - (4.30KB , 633x513 , blank5.png )
316727

Well then, let's go.
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