Rito. Rito Suave.

>>206769
The 'e' is not silent, right?

>>206770
Right.

>>206769
Indeed it is.

Now look at that, some sweet terran booty. Put your sauve in the highest gear and move in on that girl.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/12(Mon)03:34 No. 206778 ID: c55630
File 127893088688.png - (21.07KB , 672x465 , 63.png )

"Suave. Rrrrrito Suave."

Hm hm. He's funny father.

Welcome Mr. Suave. I am curious, what is a man with your...pompadour, doing here?

>>206778
Tell them that you decided that Stambul wasn't big enough for a man with your obvious talents. So after a daring capture of Stambul's most wanted criminal you decided to head offplanet with the money from the bounty.

>>206781

Don't mention the part about the money from the bounty, but otherwise yes. You're heading offplanet just because you're awesome.

also fairly sure that is the captain and his daughter. impress both of them and you may get something nice :3c

Suggestion 2010/07/13(Tue)20:36 No. 207465 ID: ec2aa6
File 127907859331.png - (31.99KB , 672x465 , 64.png )

>>206882
"Well let's just say I came across a hefty sum. So now I'm headin off to get my own ship and ply the starlanes....or something like that. I haven't fully thought it out."

Well that is certainly a large goal for one individual. Especially as a Terran. But let me speak as a word of advice from one captain to another: start with a small ship with a large arsenal. Ever since the Terran Empire was absorbed into the Greater Kroll Imperium, many ex-military Terrans have taken to pirating the Kroll trade lines. It's been getting so rampant to the point the Kroll economies are starting to feel the losses.

Especially because of that Warlock father.

Ah yes. The Warlock, if you encounter that your best chance of survival is simply to run. No shame in it. Though I doubt even they would attack the Belshazzar.

Mr. Suave, I'm curious. Where did you get your money. By your clothes you look to be a third class citizen, and getting a ship, much less securing transport off planet is quite expensive...

"Do you really wanna know?"

Dying to.

hmmmm... i suppose 'i caught a high priority thief and handed him in for the reward money. if he was just stealing from the kroll i may have left him alone but he was taken from us civilians too so i feel it was a good idea.'

if they ask how you did it say 'i got the drop on him, executed a perfect single strike that rendered him unconscious before he realized he was being attacked.'

>>207465
Tell the tale, but edited somewhat: You were minding your own business in a bar, when a big brawl breaks out. You see the troublemaker and recognize him as Tuely, you fight through, chase him out the back and kick in the door and punch his ass out. Turn him over to your cop buddy for the reward money and give him the credit, just like that.

Yeah tell this well-to-do ship owner that the police are corrupt and giving out cash rewards for criminals. OH WAIT

I warned you about mentioning the money. I told you dawg!

Just say you're something of a bounty hunter. Of course you can't reveal the details of the case. Sensitive stuff.

Also mention that you may be wearing third class clothing now, but he can't deny your first class hairdo.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/13(Tue)23:44 No. 207580 ID: ec2aa6
File 127908986389.png - (22.40KB , 714x465 , 65.png )

>>207538

"Well first off, I may have the third class clothes but I have first class hair."

Ah so. But please, I wish to know how you managed to claim a pass on a ship as...affluent as my father's vessel.

"Well before I was a bounty hunter. Recently I have retired from it after bringing in a very dangerous criminal. I was hoping to go someplace else, to start anew in a business that is a lot more profitable."

I'm sure. But as my father has said, it is even more dangerous out here than planetside. With the Warlock prowling the stars, space is a very unsafe place.

Now now daughter.

He needs to know father. I'd hate to see such an interesting man die because he tried to take more than he can handle.

"Well miss..."

Stella.

"Miss Stella, don't you worry about me. I happen to have a little outside help when it comes to a fight."

Even so, the Warlockisn't a single person. it has an entire crew thirsty for blood and hungry for loot. And they are all kept under heel by a barbaric captain. The thought of it gives me shivers.

"Wow these conversations keep going back to this Warlock ship. I need some booze."

>>207580
Well drink up, you've earned it my good man. And besides...
>Though I doubt even they would attack the Belshazzar.
Murphy has been invoked, you can't have long left. Try and see if you can bang Stella before everything inevitably goes to shit.

Or else, while everything goes to shit.

get a few of the most potent drinks you can and tuck them in to your belt. you are probably gonna need them.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)00:49 No. 207597 ID: ec2aa6
File 127909377386.png - (41.50KB , 714x465 , 66.png )

>>207584
"The hell's Murphy?"

My you are a thirsty one.

"Well apparently the AI I got tells me Murphy has been activated or something."

What's Murphy?

WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!

IT'S THE WARLOCK!

"Oh that. Damn I just sat down and everything."

THAT is murphy. hope they just want your stuff and not your head. if they want heads then best bet is everyone gets into escape pods and scuttle the ship. the explosion should at least cripple their ship allowing the pods to get to safety. if they attack the bridge first then stand by for another plan.

>>207597
Murphy's Law states "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong". Basically, they were tempting fate by saying "Oh that dangerous pirate vessel surely wouldn't attack US".

Start drinking.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)01:32 No. 207617 ID: ec2aa6
File 127909635948.png - (32.56KB , 572x465 , 67.png )

Daddy, I need to get out of here!

"Right, first of all. Old man, where's the escape pods on this thing?"

On the aft end, starboard side! But we need'nt worry for now.

TORPEDO EXPENED. ENGINES DISABLED. BOARDERS INCOMING!

"Right well then..."

Alcohol levels critical. Engage Drunken Fist?

tell the old man to point the way, you will clear a path.
then tuck those beers into your belt in case we need to refuel, and engage drunken first. proceed to beat the shit out of any pirates that get in your way.

>>207618
Yep.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)02:11 No. 207628 ID: ec2aa6
File 127909868547.png - (108.43KB , 1274x1072 , 68.png )

"LEAD THE WAY!"

Drunken Fist enabled

Oh....my....

proceed to kick any pirate ass that get's in your way.

>>207628
That was Murphy.

Anyway, drunken fist is engaged and there are pirates whose asses are in sore need of a boot imprint, your boot imprint.

So fight your way through to their leader, kick his fucking ass in a drunken rage and claim everything for yourself!

>>207680
we need to fight to an escape pod not to the leader. even with drunken fist and the boost if gives i doubt we can fight the captain. everyone knows that with pirates the captain is as strong as his entire crew put together.

>>207682
But this is a golden oppurtunity of a lifetime. And this isn't some two bit hood we have here. It's Rito motherfucking Sauve, leader of the tunnel snakes and greaser extraordinaire. Even without the drunken fist he would smack a pirate captain silly, with it we can't lose. Time to take over both ships and start our own pirate fleet!

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)15:07 No. 207856 ID: ec2aa6
File 12791452482.png - (45.36KB , 723x776 , 69.png )

Listen up dirt bags. I'm Captain Hammer, and I'm taking this tub in the name of the Warlock.

>>207856

You've met your rival. You must humiliate him. Steal his eyepatch.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)15:13 No. 207861 ID: ec2aa6
File 127914560416.png - (2.05MB , 922x776 , 70.png )

Any of you boot-licking crapsacks that have a problem with this can take it up with my crew. I'm sure you'll find an agreement.

Conflict detected

Enemies
Pirates (x?)

Allies
None

Weapons
Stam23 (0/2 shots, 2 shots left)
Knife
Fists

Drunken Fist Fighting Stance
=Motherfucking fists!=
Fuck you!
Right in the balls bitch!

>>207861
Ok, time to get out one of your drinks. Start sipping on it while walking up towards them. Tell them that you have an objection towards them and you wish to challenge them to a duel, either one on one working your way up to the captain or take them all on at once.

If they start laughing then throw the glass at the good eye of their captain while grabbing the one closest to you. Use him as a meatshield to close the distance with the rest, then shove in into them, then unleash the drunken fists of fury. Make sure nobody has a clean shot against you and that you're always close enough to grab someone to use as a meatshield.

If they accept the duel offer for one on one then just kick their fucking asses until you get to the captain. Then take out your last booze, drink up and then curbstomp the motherfucker.

use massive drunk power to throw knife at like mach 10 or something then pop two shots at them with that gun and get near the side of door behind cover. anyone sticks their face out grab it and crunch them and steal their gun.

>>207861
This is a multiple choice question?
>Right in the balls bitch!
This'll do nicely, crush the groin of the first you reach and take their weapons with the same motion. Hold them up and demand a duel, or just start unloading on em.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)18:55 No. 208057 ID: d8815a
File 127915894141.png - (27.18KB , 723x489 , 71.png )

Fighting style switched to Right in the Balls Bitch!

Pirate takes 23 damage. Pirate is rendered unconscious

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)18:56 No. 208059 ID: d8815a
File 127915901417.png - (17.06KB , 421x489 , 72.png )

Pirate takes 42 critical damage. Pirate is rendered unconscious.

I like that Terrie. Gapka, take him out.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)18:59 No. 208064 ID: d8815a
File 127915917333.png - (30.68KB , 729x489 , 73.png )

Aye aye captain.

Pirate 1 takes 20 damage. Pirate is disabled.

Pirate 2 takes 68 critical damage. Pirate is comatose.

Pirate 3 takes 31 damage. Pirate is rendered unconscious.

Warning potential threat incoming.

use pirates in hands as weapons.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)19:02 No. 208069 ID: d8815a
File 127915931477.png - (21.13KB , 516x489 , 74.png )

Not bad kid. But you lack style.

Gapka hits Rito for 25 damage. Rito is defeated.

Conflict resolved: Defeat

Mr. Suave!

Right Skivo, Gapka, take the Terries and lock em in the brig.

And the others boss?

Put em in whatever this clunker has for a brig.

Sure captain.

>>208064
Fling the pirates you're holding at this new threat, then smash his nose in.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)19:04 No. 208074 ID: d8815a
File 127915946586.png - (15.55KB , 516x489 , 75.png )

As Rito loses consciousness, he watches as the pirates begin to plunder the vessel.

Geez look at all the loot!

Told ya this would be a huge haul.

HELL YEAH!

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)19:06 No. 208080 ID: d8815a
File 127915958037.png - (6.49KB , 516x489 , 76.png )

Earth. Birthplace of Man. For a thousand years, it was the symbol of Human defiance against Kroll rule. For a thousand years, as every other world fell, Earth remained steadfast.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)19:07 No. 208081 ID: d8815a
File 127915961824.png - (15.98KB , 516x489 , 77.png )

Now it is in the hands of...

GET UP YOU BITCH! BITE HIS LEGS OFF YOU FUCKER!!

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)19:08 No. 208083 ID: d8815a
File 127915969443.png - (47.70KB , 516x489 , 78.png )

NUMBER 10 GRUXA! BUT WHAT'S THIS? BRUXA IS NOT MAKING HIS LIFE EASY!

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)19:09 No. 208084 ID: d8815a
File 12791597928.png - (56.33KB , 516x489 , 79.png )

GRUXA PASSES! HE FEINTS! IT GOES TO GAXOOL! GAXOOL IS RACING DOWN THE COURT!

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)19:11 No. 208085 ID: d8815a
File 12791598708.png - (34.79KB , 790x614 , 81.png )

IS HE GOING TO? YES! YES! HE IS! HE'S GOING ALL THE WAY! HE'S GOING FOR THE DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUNK!

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)19:11 No. 208087 ID: d8815a
File 127915991322.png - (24.83KB , 790x614 , 82.png )

"What. The. Fuck?"

"Alright where the fuck am I and why should I care?"

don't know and don't know. hopefully you stalled th pirates long enough for stella to escape and totally have the hots for your bravery.

>>208087
You impressed the pirate captain before you blacked out, he probably thinks he can recruit you or something. You probably impressed Stella and the captain too. Sure, getting your ass kicked was a downer but you made a good show of it. You could try to join the pirates, rescue the crew, or maybe take over the ship which is like the best of both.

But first, get your head on straight, find out where you're at and what you can do from here.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)19:31 No. 208106 ID: d8815a
File 127916110246.png - (25.42KB , 790x614 , 83.png )

"I guess this is the brig then...Well it's certainly bigger than my apartment."

Damn you took your time getting up kid.

tell him "you get bitch slapped by Gapka and wake up fast and then we'll talk. so what the fuck you want?"

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)19:37 No. 208113 ID: d8815a
File 127916146786.png - (24.47KB , 790x614 , 84.png )

>>208107

"Well I just got bitch slapped by that Gapka asshole. How would you feel?"

Not too bad actually seeing as I'm that asshole Gapka.

"Right. Foot in mouth."

"So you guys in it just for the loot, or you got some kinda political agenda?"

Yeah, we might actually agree with these guys' goals. We wouldn't mind kicking some Kroll ass.

>>208136
kroll ass sure, but they are kicking civilian ass which is no good.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)20:43 No. 208217 ID: d8815a
File 127916541018.png - (25.60KB , 790x614 , 85.png )

"Well what now?"

Captain wants a word with you. I'm to escort you to his cabin when you woke up. Oh and kick your ass if you tried anything funny.

"Fair enough I suppose."

fine i guess. he beat you when you were at your best doubt we can take him now.

>>208217
So what's that thing over there on the bench or whatever?

>>208233

That's the hole where you poop.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)23:28 No. 208415 ID: d8815a
File 127917528866.png - (46.68KB , 802x780 , 86.png )

Well aren't you an ugly son of a bitch.

"Screw you too."

Careful now. the captain just told me to take you to his cabin. He didn't say conscious. Anything you wanna know before we head out?

"yeah, i was trying to get my mak on with this hot chick when you showed up, she okay?"

regardless on answer go with him.

>>208415
Ask if you can get a drink too.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/14(Wed)23:52 No. 208419 ID: d8815a
File 127917674579.png - (34.48KB , 802x780 , 87.png )

>>208416
"I was trying to make a pass at this hot girl and-"

Miss Mascara? She's fine. Locked up 3 cells down from you and next to Captain Old Fart.

"Can I get a drink?"

Not from me. Maybe from the captain. Maybe.

okay cool. let's see the captain then.

>>208419
Ask him if he could teach you how to fight later. You have to find out a counter to that fucking metal fist of his, that thing fucking hurt.

Other than that go see the captain. It's probably too early to take over the ship. But maybe if you impress him enough you will get some guns on the cruise ship and be given command over it. Then when you have racked up some more fighting experiance you can challenge that Gapka asshole and then the captain for command over the entire fleet.

>>208419
If you walk past her, be sure to give her a little wink. Implying heroics or something, who cares.

How about just follow him out to the captain's room? What's with all the questions?

You'd probably insult him by asking for a counter to his metal fist. Unless you're inclined to rip one of your arms off and put a metal fist on it you probably won't be able to impress him. Remember, your goal is to get to the captain's chambers conscious.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/16(Fri)13:38 No. 208928 ID: 3a8294
File 127931269254.png - (39.99KB , 802x780 , 88.png )

Oh and hold still for a moment.

"Wha?"

Baron of Spades 2010/07/16(Fri)13:38 No. 208929 ID: 3a8294
File 127931272011.png - (43.31KB , 802x780 , 88b.png )

"Eeeyah!"

That should do it.

>>208928
What a fucking asshole... wait, did he just ruin your hairdo? Oh now it's on like motherfucking donkey kong! Fucker is going to pay in the future, once we figure out a counter to that metal fist to face kind of deal.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/16(Fri)14:03 No. 208939 ID: 3a8294
File 127931418399.png - (37.11KB , 802x780 , 89.png )

"The fuck was that for?!"

That AI of your was sending out signals looking for its server. We don't need no Kroll Patrol ships picking that signal up. That last jolt should have shorted out its radio.
Enough of that shit. The captain awaits.

>>208939
Well the hair still looks fine. Guess he gets to live for now. Go meet with the captain.

Oh ok, that's fine by us we don't really need those assholes.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/16(Fri)18:22 No. 209115 ID: 3a8294
File 127932975678.png - (35.66KB , 774x539 , 90.png )

Alright listen up now kid. You know how the pirating biz started? it started with Terries like us. That's right. Not all of us was very fond of bowing to the Kroll. So we started hitting the Kroll every way we could. Now most aliens already did pirating themselves, but never in the sheer size and force we did. They didn't use old Battleships like Warlock here, and they fought in small, disorganized cells. Then we came along and before we knew it, aliens resisting the Kroll rallied around humans.

We're a fucking legend. That's why I bought you along. You and the other two are the closest thing I've seen to original Terran. And I need another hand to keep the boys in line. They look up to Terrans as the original rebels, or some such shit. Play it right, you'll work up to my right hand man. Maybe even replace Gapka.

I heard that!

So whaddya say kid? Ya wanna join my crew?

"What about Stella and the other captain?"

Gramps is too passive, if anything is supportive to peaceful negotiation with the Kroll, and Glamour-puss probably doesn't even know how to hold a gun. Not sure what I'll do with them. That's why I ask you.

>>209115
Tell him that you accept. Provided you get your own ship and Stella. And maybe her father or something. Although it might be safer to let that geezer stay here in a decent cell.

>>209115
>> join my crew.

>>209119
>> your own ship

Yeah, how about you don't ask for your own ship.

Do ask for your own gun though.

You can steal this guy's ship after you've sized up his crew.

hmmmm, i suppose. the other unsaid option is death. see if you can bargain Stella into sharing your room. :3c

Baron of Spades 2010/07/16(Fri)20:40 No. 209188 ID: 3a8294
File 127933802518.png - (29.71KB , 774x539 , 91.png )

"I accept. Only if I get my gun back. And Stella."

Your gun I can manage, but the girl? That depends on you. I don't care how far down her pants you are, you gotta show your an asset to me before I give you any perks. Even though your Terrie, you start at the bottom. Meaning swab duty. This ship is a thousand years old kid, and during that time it's only been cleaned out twice. Not even sure what's down there now. So as an extra, Gapka's going with you.

Aye captain.

Now then, get down to the Armory. Kiz will give you back all the stuff we found on ya. Now get outta here.

okay, let's clean this bitch so hard and so fast that we will get a badass nickname in spite of it only being cleaning duty!

anyway to kiz for now.

Time to get cleaning... and drunk. Really drunk.

>>209188
Ask for a bottle of rum to take the edge of the boredom of cleaning.

>>209260
naw, captain said no perks until we get out of our newbie status.

>>209271
Then we had better steal one so we can unlock our drunken fists of rage when necessary.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/18(Sun)20:27 No. 209976 ID: 46201e
File 12795100521.png - (31.20KB , 660x612 , 92.png )

>>209272
"Say uh...mind if we stop for a drink before we head off to clean the Engine...room?"

Yeah sure. It's right next to the Armory anyway. But word a warnin, the boys won't be takin to kindly to you, seein as you forced a lot of them to see the doc. Ooh that guy's a dick. And we best be fast. the captain likes to check on his crew from time to time.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/18(Sun)20:32 No. 209977 ID: 46201e
File 12795103688.png - (30.22KB , 660x612 , 93.png )

Hey Gapka, this the new kid?

Yeah, hang on.

Well are ya comin for his gun or ain't ya?

In a minute. Just stoppin for a drink. remember kid, if you wanna be well enough to do your job, try not to make eye contact.

sounds like a plan. follow him in, he knows the place better then you do.

>>209977
Just be cool, march in and out like a bauss. If anyone gives you shit tell them to take it up with the captain. If they try to rough you up, be as evasive and non damaging as you can manage.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/18(Sun)22:03 No. 210017 ID: 46201e
File 127951576990.png - (19.26KB , 660x404 , 94.png )

OI KEEPAH! Terran Bomb on the rocks. And get somethin nice for the kid. preferabbly in a bottle. You gonna get wasted yeah?

"hey i chugged 4 Brainsmelters in a row, i can handle the strongest thing you got.

"I'm gonna clean out the house."

Baron of Spades 2010/07/18(Sun)22:16 No. 210027 ID: 46201e
File 127951656011.png - (19.03KB , 660x404 , 96.png )

"Fuck yeah I am. Pile it o-"

Well Gapka!

Ah fuck, why'd you have to be here Skivo?

Well what else Gapka? We had a major haul, I got a huge bonus. I'm happy as hell and celebrating the only way I can on this junk heap.

What. Do. You. Want?

Well I heard recently that a certain morsel, a.k.a a new Terrie was aboard. Which means he's startin at the bottom of the heap yes? And I also heard that one Raskull was not particularly fond of the new morsel what with him delivering abone shattering blow to poor Raskulls reproductive area. I hear it is still swollen, and Raskull is waiting in the engine room for new morsel to come by.

"Hey I'm right here! Where's my drink?!"

Baron of Spades 2010/07/18(Sun)22:19 No. 210030 ID: 46201e
File 127951675742.png - (19.02KB , 660x404 , 97.png )

>>210027
And this is the new morsel?!

just look past him, no eye contact. just blatantly ignore his attempts.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/18(Sun)22:53 No. 210040 ID: 46201e
File 127951883220.png - (25.69KB , 660x404 , 98.png )

>>210031
"A bottle! Any bottle! Like the one right there!"

Awww! You're trying to ignore me. It's so cute! Listen Terrie! I'm tellin ya this for yer own good. Raskull is a clever one. He chose the engine room not only cuase he knows your goin down there, but also cause it's a very delicate place. No firearms, no plas-blades. Nothing except your fists! After all if you we're to rupture a tank, or cut a valve...

Baron of Spades 2010/07/18(Sun)22:54 No. 210041 ID: 46201e
File 127951886180.png - (22.72KB , 660x404 , 99.png )

...boom.
Nothing else just boom.

i kicked his ass bare handed last time, will do it again.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/18(Sun)22:56 No. 210044 ID: 46201e
File 127951896542.png - (41.52KB , 715x517 , 100.png )

That three-eyed idiot! Here ya go kid. Some sorta vodka or similar shit. Forget your gun. We got a nasty stain to clean outta the engine room, and it's called Raskull.

Good luck...little morsel.

Baron of Spades 2010/07/18(Sun)23:05 No. 210047 ID: 46201e
File 127951954589.png - (24.45KB , 715x412 , 101.png )

Evaluation

Group

Rito Suave

Level 2
12 Close Combat
12 Ranged
12 Constitution
15 Defense

Experience: 32/100

Inventory: Stam23 magnum, switch blade, pillow, pile of credit chips

Gapka ???

Level 5
19 Close Combat
20 Ranged
25 Constitution
19 Defense

Experience: 2/100

Iventory:Plas-blade (left arm graft), Gauss pistol (Right arm graft)

Evaluation Complete

Episode Complete

Beginning new episode...

>>210047
Rito activates drunken fist and goes in first. Raskull's junk will be twice as swollen soon.

Cut holes in pillow case, place over head, disguise self as Ghost of Christmas Past.

Alternatively, don't do that, and instead attach the pillow to your chest area to soften any hits received in that area.

Check out the engine room before you decide how to approach this. As Gapka has senority and actually knows the ship, he should probably go first. Take a whiff see how strong that alcohol is. With luck you can clean out whatever abomination lurks down there using Raskull as a broom.