McDooble 2010/03/31(Wed)14:54 No. 156187 ID: 8e18cd
File 127007245466.png - (272.18KB , 800x600 , VilousViceI.png )

Everyone was better, we drove Ferraris, wore Hawaiian shirts. The good days...

"What's that Commissioner? He's at it again? Larry and I are in the area, we're gonna bust him this time..."

Okay. I can wait for Larry or try to get there myself.

Wait for your blackup before you charge in.

>>156187
There's no time to wait around. They might get away. Go in there yourself.

Charge in. Larry can save your ass at an opportune moment.

Wait for Larry.

wait for backup

McDooble 2010/03/31(Wed)15:17 No. 156215 ID: 8e18cd
File 127007387473.png - (302.49KB , 800x600 , VilousViceII.png )

There's my partner... always on time.

"Fancy a ride, Dooble?" Larry says in his calm and relaxed voice.

"He's at it again, Larry. This time we will bust him."

"Same shit again? Where is it this time..."

"Corner of Rain and Freya."

"Okay hop in and hold on tight..."

>>156215
Erm. Get in and buckle up. Make sure Larry puts on his seatbelt as well.

Larry: Drive stupendously fast and unsafely.

McDooble 2010/03/31(Wed)15:33 No. 156230 ID: 8e18cd
File 127007483554.png - (262.65KB , 800x600 , TalyxianFiction.png )

"Hit it like a motherfucker, Larry."

"Alright. Hey, did you watch the game last night? Orcs won."

"Hell yeah. That was some sweet ass pitchin'."

Larry steps on the motherfucking pedal and we're getting there faster than cocaine is being sniffed off a cutebold hooker's ass.

"Do you know how they call Omlet Du Fromage in France, Dooble?" Larry asks out of a sudden.

Breakfast?

"Egg McMuffin."

McDooble 2010/03/31(Wed)15:51 No. 156253 ID: 8e18cd
File 127007591321.png - (213.19KB , 800x600 , DieSoftly.png )

"Lykkkelig litennarkval"

Before I can answer back... we're there - the Nakotity Plaza building. There doesn't seem to be anyone around the building... suspicious. As I remember there are few entrances there - from the underground parking lot, the main entrance, the side entrance and the employee entrance...

Which one should be the best?

Drive in through the underground parking. Smash through a gate if it gets in the way.

Employee entrance!

employee entrance

>>156253
Drive through the front entrance and go in guns blazing!

>>156253
FUCK DOORS, MAKE YOUR OWN ENTRANCE THOUGH A WINDOW!

McDooble 2010/04/01(Thu)00:27 No. 156917 ID: 8e18cd
File 127010685298.png - (337.27KB , 800x600 , SickNasty.png )

"Larry, Go through the front... WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!!!"

"Taking a shortcut!"

"LAAARRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY"

*SICKNASTY*

Okay since we're in... emergency stairs or the elevator. Choices, choices.... maybe the main staircase?

>>156917
Badass! Get your guns out and go with the emergancy stairs. Be prepared for anything, even Larry confessing his undying love for you in a moment of desperation when all hope seems lost.

Elevator.

Larry get the grenade launcher from the trunk. We need to save the Princess!

Everyone knows that the badguys have taken out the elevator right away or rig it to explode. Have Larry take the Stairs while you put on your jetpack on McDoobie

Take the main staircase. In your car.

>>157049
this

McDooble 2010/04/01(Thu)09:01 No. 157075 ID: 8e18cd
File 127013767035.png - (333.62KB , 800x600 , Yipekayey.png )

Okay, emergency stairs it is... after a while we get to the 39th floor. Damn it's them terrorists, doing their terrorist stuff. They're hopping around yelling "GO GO GO", "YOU TAKE THE POINT" "STORM THE FRONT" and "FIRE IN THE HOLE."

"Okay we can do it two ways, Larry. Either "Geronimo, Motherfucker!" way or we're gonna ignore them and be on our merry way."

"I say we should pop their motherfucking heads..."

Should I, or should I sneak up a few stories more?

>>157075
throw a flashbang, they'll all shoot each other.

>>157075

After you throw that flashbang in you NAIL those motherfuckers!

McDooble 2010/04/01(Thu)09:15 No. 157084 ID: 8e18cd
File 127013852876.png - (8.77KB , 800x600 , FriendlyFire.png )

"Freeze motherfuckers" Larry and I shout.

"ENEMY SPOTTED" they yell at us and point the guns, but before they can fire I throw the flashbang at them.

"Yippie-kai-yay motherfuckers." I yell as Larry and I start shooting them while they're busy shooting each other.

Score one for the good guys. Where now?

Anyone named Ramirez in there? If there is KILL HIM FIRST. He does EVERYTHING for them

McDooble 2010/04/01(Thu)09:38 No. 157094 ID: 8e18cd
File 127013991234.png - (175.27KB , 800x600 , FriendlyFire.png )

"Hey you motherfucker, is any one of you named Ramirez?"

"What the fuck are you doin'?" Larry asks
"Interrogatin' him."
"Well, what's he gonna tell you, "I'm dead"?"
"Well, I ain't gonna know 'til I ask him, am I?"

Well he's pretty useless I think. The fucker stays dead and won't answer me. Goddamn Terrorists...

>>157094
Stomp his head

>>157094
Flip him the bird and then continue onwards. There are more people here that needs a hot lead enema and you're the nurse to deliver it.

Just don't think of all the paperwork this will result in.

McDooble 2010/04/01(Thu)11:45 No. 157150 ID: 8e18cd
File 127014752554.png - (235.30KB , 800x600 , TerroristShakedown.png )

After much head-popping we get to the motherfucking room where Flailsbreaker should be hiding. We meet some fucking German fuckers, but no Ramirez.

Larry gets a goddamn M-16 from one of them and says "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.". To not be worse I pick up a wepon for myself. Now we're more hard boiled than we ever was since we joined the force.

We're there. It's time to rush in there, tag him and bag him... I hear some noises from behind the door. Sounds like a lot of moaning and grunting.

>>157150
KICK THE DOOR DOWN!

>>157150
You both kick down the door on 3 and then open up with your machine guns. Fill the room with hot lead.

McDooble 2010/04/01(Thu)13:46 No. 157205 ID: 8e18cd
File 127015480987.png - (356.36KB , 800x600 , DirtyLarry.png )

WHAM. The door breaks down. And we're faced with a scene you'd only see in some sicko movie...

"Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy." Larry notes. "But I don't know whether to shoot you or just stab and let you bleed, Flails. You're one sick puppy..."

"Easy there Larry. We still don't know where he has hidden the ice cream stash..."

McDooble 2010/04/01(Thu)13:52 No. 157208 ID: 8e18cd
File 127015512714.png - (449.67KB , 800x600 , FlailsbreakerOhyeah.png )

"Ummm... mistress, I think those men are for me."
"Well, you little dicksucker, you're gonna leave me here again, aren't you? You're nothing more than a pathetic cumdumpster..."

"Cut the compliments, lady." I say in the most displeased tone I could produce. "Where's the Ice Cream Flails. I know you hadn't eaten it all..."

"I'll come quietly, I'll come quietly." Flailsbreaker whines "I've hidden some of it. But you have to promise I won't get hurt and I'll tell you where it is."

"One false move and I'm going to shoot you Flails." Larry grins flicking his gun ".44 right into your skull... you should feel lucky about that."

What now. That bastard stole all of Big City's ice cream stash, and now he's hiding it. If it wasn't for that lady there I'd ask Larry to paint the walls with his brain.

Squeeze her tit. Say 'honk.'

I mean, take a picture and threaten to publish it if he doesn't cooperate.

If that doesn't work, shoot him in the hoof and threaten to shoot him in the other one if he doesn't cooperate. If that doesn't work, repeat with kneecaps.

>>157208
Tell Larry to hold him down. Shoot him in one nut and tell him that the other one goes as well unless he talks right now.

Tell him you promise you won't hurt him, but he has to tell you right now.

McDooble 2010/04/01(Thu)14:59 No. 157248 ID: 8e18cd
File 127015919115.png - (257.02KB , 800x600 , AimedShot.png )

Posting a picture of Flailsbreaker naked would probably redundant. That guy just loves to wave his dick around.

I take aim at him. "Listen Dicktaker, I can shoot your jewels off if you don't cooperate. Where are the ice cream."

"Okay okay. I can show you, I can show you... just don't shoot me there! Just take me to the field outside of the Big City."

>>157248
Hey flails, why the long face?

You'd better restrai--er, wait that's kindof already done. Take the... reins.

>>157248
You know what, hit some on that fine ass lady he was with. Offer that she can come along and brutalize him some on the way.

And get Flails some pants. You don't want him dripping cum on the seats of Larry's car.

McDooble 2010/04/02(Fri)01:48 No. 157858 ID: 8e18cd
File 127019810918.png - (450.68KB , 800x600 , TangoForCash.png )

"Heyyo, Flails, weah goin there, you tryan escape, Immonna shoot you where it would hurt the most. You know what I'm sayin?"

Suddenly the radio speaker comes to life "Larry, McDooble. What is going on there?"

"Shit, McDooble, it's the commissioner. What should we tell him?!"

>>157858
That you're busting this case wide open and you don't have time for any of his red tape bullshit.

>>157860
We're getting lunch. What'dya want?

McDooble 2010/04/02(Fri)09:12 No. 157915 ID: 8e18cd
File 127022472766.png - (463.82KB , 800x600 , FreelancePolice.png )

"Well commissioner, we're going to where the culprit has hidden all of the frozen treats. Yes. No. Well same to you, mac!"

"Is the commissioner happy?"

"I'll say, Larry. Our commissioner seems to be blissful due to the fact that the bill for the damage caused is below 10,000. Say, why are you driving straight through a Kender field trip."

"We still owe the city 5 hours of community service from the last time. I thought we should get a head-start on that."

"Heh heh. You crack me up, lil buddy. Now where should we dine? Tamola Fried Chicken, Journey In The Box or Duran Donuts."

>>157915
Tamola Fried Chicken!

Journey in the box.

Duran Donuts.

TFC BAYBEE!

DONUTS OF COURSE YOU ARE COPS AFTER ALL

Journey!

(Three-way tie has returned)

got to be donuts

Journey In The Box

>>157915
Duran Donauts.

McDooble 2010/04/02(Fri)13:19 No. 158025 ID: 8e18cd
File 127023954684.png - (380.98KB , 800x600 , LarrskyDutch.png )

We stock ourselves with Duran Latex Specials. Donuts covered in thick rubbery dark chocolate. They taste delicious.

"Here we are..." Flails says. He seems oddly calm.

Should I call for backup?

You don't need backup. You're a goddamn badass. Just look at you.

>>158025
The only reason you should ever call for back-up is to get a sweet ass helicopter.

Tell him that if this is a trap, he's going to have to wear a strap-on in prison.

Backup is for the soft-boiled.

McDooble 2010/04/03(Sat)00:44 No. 158540 ID: 8e18cd
File 127028069740.png - (217.73KB , 800x600 , Sebben.png )

Screw backup. We can do it ourselves. We took him to the field he pointed. Suddenly I can hear an ice cream truck... "Larry stay here with Flails. I'm gonna check it. That looks fishy as hell."

Flailsbreaker just laughs and Larry smacks him in the face "SHUT UP". "Do you like ice cream, Larry?" I hear from the distance.

Should I try to stop the truck? This is getting pretty intense...

Yeah. That's way too suspicious

>>158540
Could it be that Flails hid all the ice cream by distributing it to ice cream trucks around the world?

You must investigate.

McDooble 2010/04/03(Sat)02:31 No. 158640 ID: 8e18cd
File 127028708389.png - (301.60KB , 800x600 , IScreamMan.png )

I stop the car and point my gun at the driver "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE."

"Calm down, man. I was told to deliver this box of ice cream here to Mr. Larry Sergal."

Shit, shit... this looks really bad. What I should do. I hear some shouting from the direction of Flails and Larry. Larry is growing more irritated.

"HEY MCDOOBLE. WHO THE FUCK IS THAT IN THE TRUCK?"

Man... what I should do next.

>>158640
Get that guy out of the truck where Larry can see them.

Get the delivery and bring it to Larry.

Okay, take the package. We'll check it out away from Larry in case it's dangerous.

>>158640
See what's in the packages. Be prepared for mind fuckery and having to execute Flails in cold blood in the middle of nowehere and bury his corpse in the sand.

This seems like a setup, but it's a pretty crappy one.

McDooble 2010/04/10(Sat)02:10 No. 162150 ID: 8e18cd
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"It's just an ice-cream guy... Larry!"

I can hear Flails...

"I went to your favourite ice cream parlor, Larry."

I open the package... Shit is mint rocky road. Larry flips over the flavour! Shit shit.

"I've tried to play the ice cream man, Larry. It didn't work out..."

"What the fuck are you going on about???!!!"

"I gave it all away, Larry. But I saved one flavour for you..."

"WHAT'S IN THE PACKAGE MCDOOBLE?!!!"

Shit shit shit shit shit...

>>162150
Why don't you show him what's in the package?

Laugh. Tell him he got the wrong flavor.

>>162150
"It's Vanilla!"

>>162150
>Larry flips over the flavour!
Does that mean he likes it or he hates it?

McDooble 2010/04/10(Sat)16:15 No. 162355 ID: 8e18cd
File 127094133121.png - (301.47KB , 800x600 , Vanilla.png )

One time I had to pull Larry away from an ice cream man because he nearly strangled him to death for giving him a mint rocky road on a stick.

He hates that flavour with utter passion.

"Don't listen to him, Larry. It's just vanilla."

"Don't lie, McDooble. We all know which flavour Larry loves the most." Flails say.

"SHUT UP, FAGGOT." Larry says pushing Flailsbreaker to the ground.

I feel like Larry will blow any second now.

Tell him it's a head. His mom's head.

Tell the guy if he wants to live LOAD IT BACK AND DRIVE AS FAST AS HE CAN

>>162355
"Put the gun down, Larry! He wants you to shoot him!"

>>162361
"And because of that the real way to piss him off is to NOT shoot him!"

Eat all of it before he sees it.
Fatso

>>162355
Let him know what it is. Shoot Flails in the desert and bury him in a shallow grave.

McDooble 2010/04/11(Sun)02:37 No. 162679 ID: 8e18cd
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"HEY, ICE CREAM GUY. GET THE FUCK OUT AS FAST AS YOU CAN!" I shout to the Ice Cream guy.

"Put the gun down, Larry."

"NO!"

"He wants you to shoot him, Larry. Don't let him win."

"HE DESERVES TO BE SHOT. ALL THAT ICE-CREAM... OH GOD..."

"Just give me the gun back Larry... Let the police handle this."

"What's the matter, Larry. Hate mint rocky road?" Flailsbreaker suddenly says.

Oh God. He's done it. Larry's finger is shaking... I have seconds maybe to do anything.

>>162679
Shoot him yourself, in the leg.

Flails breaker must lose his balls. You warned him.

Shoot him in the leg.

>>162679
Shoot him in the nutsack. Then you and Larry will say a prayer for your own souls and shoot him in the back of the head together. Bury his corpse in a shallow desert grave and pretend it never happened.

"C'mon Larry. You need to be cold and hard, like super fudge chunky in the freezer. Not hot, runny and emotional, like chocolate dip cherry that's been left in the sun. You KNOW death's too good for him, he needs to rot in jail."

>>162679
What are we worried about? Shooting Flails Breaker with a gun is going to do absolutely nothing.

>>162679
"Larry if you shoot him, he will win."

McDooble 2011/03/31(Thu)12:46 No. 292221 ID: 8e18cd
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I shoot him in the leg. That makes Larry snap out of it

"What the fuck, McDooble."

"Didn't you understand? He wanted you to do it. Wizards can regenerate, slowly but still. I just wonder wh..."

The distant sound of chopper wings reveals Flailsbreaker's plan.

McDooble 2011/03/31(Thu)12:48 No. 292222 ID: 8e18cd
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It was a channel 7 news. All of that was on tape.

To discredit us, most likely. Given our earlier bending of few laws there and there, I could tell we were in deep shit.

McDooble 2011/03/31(Thu)12:50 No. 292224 ID: 8e18cd
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"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT, MCDOOBLE??!!!"

Commissioner Freya was furious. Police brutality on tape. Flails could throw it against us in court and we wouldn't be able to cover our asses at all.

I was forced to hand over the badge. Larry protested, but Freya didn't want to listen at all. She told him to... eh I won't even repeat what she said. She threw us both out of her office afterwards. I cleaned my desk as Larry watched on the brink of crying.

McDooble 2011/03/31(Thu)12:53 No. 292225 ID: 8e18cd
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The trail was a joke. Flails got sentence for most crime, but his lawyer went on how he's really a victim of society and committed all of his crimes due to his sexoholism and alcoholism. Instead of his ass rotting in prison, he was sent for 'therapy' in some undisclosed Asylum.

McDooble 2011/03/31(Thu)12:54 No. 292228 ID: 8e18cd
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Larry broke down after the trail. He was taken into a psychiatric clinic for treatment.


The meds instead of helping him, fucked him up, turning him in what he is nowadays. There's a slim hope of him recovering. But I doubt it... I gave up on optimism.

McDooble 2011/03/31(Thu)12:56 No. 292229 ID: 8e18cd
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As for me? I still thirsted for justice. I couldn't rejoin the force, so instead I started my own private detective business.

I've become more bitter after all those years, but I still hold to my values and I always will.

>>292225
Yay, he's never getting out of there. It's harder to get out of closed mental care than to get out of prison.

>>292261
And Neither will Larry.
Of course the 'undisclosed' bit about Flails' asylum makes me think it just another of his places, and thus non-legit.