WAKE UP IN A VAULT AS A BABY

Absorb radiation.
Become a sexy radiation zombie.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)11:56 No. 101456 ID: b32ea1
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Howdy folks.
The name's Derrick St John Junior.
I live in a world devestated by nuclear war. My job is hunting mutated vermin before they infest the remaining cities.
And this is my story.

Nice gun.

Hallo, Derrick.

What is your preferred weapon, my good man?

Nice to meet you son. Now head over to the nearest town. There is some looting that must be done. You need more ammunition, a better hat and most of all you need cooler goggles. The ones you have now make you look like a villian in a bad comic.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)12:07 No. 101469 ID: b32ea1
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Naw, friend. I work for the cities. I dun loot them.
See here, I've been hired by the nearby city of Craterlake to take care of the pests here.
There's my target.

My piece here is my baby darlin' Texas Ranger X9 full automatic assault rifle with sniper scope. Takes care of any exoskeleton I came across.

>>101469
>fully automatic
>with scope
Carry on, I suppose.

Do you have a close range weapon?

>>101469

Well it's post apocalyptic times. There should be some place you can loot. And you really need a more pimping hat, or atleast a feather for the one you have, and new goggles, looking like a robber from an early cartoon is not cool.

But that comes later. Scout out the area around your target and tell us of the capabilities of your intentend target. We need to know what you're likely to fight against.

>>101469
do you have any explosives?

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)12:23 No. 101476 ID: b32ea1
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I dun see much or know much of the creeps in this place.
My scope's showing a guard at the entrance to their lair but they aint comin out.
Must be nocturnal.

Snipe the creatures head while you have the change.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)12:28 No. 101479 ID: b32ea1
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Boom! Headshot.

>>101479
Are those mutants likely to have useful loot?
If yes, approach the corpse. But look out for more enemies.

It strikes me as a really bad idea to head into their lair on your own without any real information about numbers and probable opposition. And now they also know you're coming because I didn't notice you saying anything about a suppressor.

I would advise that you pull back and wait for them to send out search parties. Either take down one of those parties or slip between them. Bobytrap the entrance and then head into the place and kill anything that's not human.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)12:44 No. 101493 ID: b32ea1
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Now why would a bug have loot on him?
Naw, it's just a naked mess splattered against the wall.

I'm just used to find loot after killing something.
Any outstanding missions or anything else to do?

Map of the surrounding area and overview of your inventory would be nice.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)12:54 No. 101500 ID: b32ea1
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Now what's so difficult to understand here?
Im hired to kill the bugs in here. I got a gun 'n bullets. There's a town behind me.

So your suggestion is waiting for 'em to come out and pick them off one by one?

>>101500
That won't work, you're gonna have to go in and clear the place out.

>>101500

If they're stupid enough to let you do that then yes. As far as I know you don't have a side arm or a close combat weapon. You don't have a shotgun or a flamethrower and you don't have any kind of backup. Heading inside then and figh them on their terms would be stupid. Stupid people usually end up dead in a short amount of time in a post apocalyptic world.

Well excuse me.
Do you have anything to smoke them out? I doubt they'll come out to get killed just to make you happy. You could, I dunno, start a fire and throw some trash on it to make smoke.

If I had more information about those creatures I might come up with a better idea.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)13:04 No. 101506 ID: b32ea1
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I dunno what kinda postnuke worlds youre familiar with, but in my experience a good assault rifle takes care of alot at close range.
Let's go find us some creeps.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)13:13 No. 101519 ID: b32ea1
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Well in the holy lord's name.. It's a friggin' nest! Looks like I got here just in time judging from the swollen eggsacks.

>>101519
Probably best to take out the workers then go to work on the eggs.

>>101519
I believe it is time to start shootin' bugs. There's one in front of the rock to your left, and two more off to the right.

>>101519
Any incendiary devices to quickly take care of it?
If not, take aimed shots and slowly retreat to avoid getting trapped.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)13:24 No. 101534 ID: b32ea1
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Ayup. Sounds like a plan. I shot the hell outta those things and kick their eggs to mush.
Strange though.
So little workers with so many eggs, and no soldiers?

>>101534
Be prepared for soldiers and/or a lot more eggs. What's behind the door?

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)13:34 No. 101543 ID: b32ea1
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I dun know any insectoids that can open doors like this. It probably leads to a wartime bunker.
Ive come to learn that creeps love the entrances.

>>101543

You mean 'orifices', right?

Anyway, check for any traps set up by the ones who made that door, if possible.

>>101506
Ones where something horrible that is strangely immune to getting shot in the face is waiting behind every corner to rip your face off. That and I'm paranoid and don't believe that you can ever really achieve overkill. Sure assault rifles are great for humans, but for everything else I like something that takes out dinner plate sized chunks of meat from whatever I'm shooting at.

But as you're determined to face an early death. Prepare for soldiers and queen. If you can then aim for their antennas. And keep in mind that you need to conserve ammo, as I'm guessing you don't have that much along with you either, and it's always a good idea to have more stuff to shoot later if more problems pop up.

>>101543
Regardless of the danger, we must investigate to make sure that the hive is dealt with.

My common sense is tingling. Wierd usually means trouble. Be careful, I have the feeling this is going to turn into a very unorthodox exterminating job. Check if there are any other exits to the room you're in like holes or something, and peek outside a moment.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)13:46 No. 101553 ID: b32ea1
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Ya'll been playing way too much vidyargames.
Almost no one actually made it to these things when the bombs dropped.
The only ones livin' in the open shelters are hermits who seal the place off, or glorified citadels. Sane people walk the wastelands, like me.

Here, the door opens. Means this one's empty like my stomach. Aint got a doubt that its been looted too.

>>101553
Check anyway. If there were bugs here, there may be bugs there.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)13:50 No. 101558 ID: b32ea1
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Like I said, aint no bug gonna open a blast door, but Ill check. I'll have a peek outside the cave first to make sure my back's safe.

Well now. That loomin' silhouette doesnt look safe.

>>101558
Take cover back in the main room. Try and ambush it.

>>101558
Aim your gun at it and tell them to identify themselves. It looks pretty humanoid.

>>101560
Humanoid but not human. In a post-apoc setting, that usually means it's out to kill you.

Hell, even most humans are out to kill you in post-apocalyptic stories.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)14:16 No. 101584 ID: b32ea1
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Sounds like a plan.
I wait behind a rock and when it passes.. Bam! Barrel to the face.

'Identify yourself!', I yell at it.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)14:17 No. 101586 ID: b32ea1
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The thing raises its four arms and chitters and clicks. I cant understand a word its saying, if they are even words.

>>101586
Well, it knows the correct procedure for having a gun pointed at your head. I assume it's sentient. Seen anything like it before?

Well it put its hands up, that's a start. Motion for it to face the wall.

>>101586
Hey, that thing is pretty attractive in a weird way.

>>101586
Do you have any cat food by any chance?

...Um... Yeah, I dunno. Yay mutants? See, what I tell you about weird stuff and unusual jobs? Back up a bit so it can't knock your gun barrel away from its face and go melee, and maybe put your back to something so nothing can come at you from behind. When things get strange, it's time to be careful.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)14:28 No. 101593 ID: b32ea1
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Tha's a plan. I dun seen anything like this 'n it's right freaking me out.
I move away from it, push my back against a wall, and wave my gun to the wall.
The thing looks at my gun then suddenly turns its head away. Its antenna wave frantically.
It must be detecting something.

>>101593
It probably has some senses you don't.

>>101593
I think it is smelling the carnage you caused. I hope it wasn't friends with the bugs.

>>101593
Yeah, I don't think it'll like what you did to the bugs. You can't understand it, but see if it understands you. Give it some orders and threaten it with the gun. Don't kill it yet.

Indeed, look around, something may be about to happen. Keep the gun trained though.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)14:47 No. 101604 ID: b32ea1
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I wave my gun at it.
'If you understand me, click twice!'
It chitters and clicks incoherently. I dont think it understands me.
It does seem to understand my threatening gestures though.

It slowly lowers its arms and points to the cave entrance.

By sweet jesus' glory.. Looks like the swarm is returning to their nest.

Motion for it to follow you, RUN AWAY!

Keep your gun pointed at them, retreat into the vault, shut door.

>>101604
Get the hell out of there before they notice you've cleared the nest!

>>101604
I think you should both get to the vault now!

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)14:56 No. 101622 ID: b32ea1
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God damn! You want me to take this thing with me?
Well, hell's bells!
I wave to it and retreat back to the bombshelter. The creature follows me still warily eyeing my gun.

>>101622
Ensure that door can be opened from the inside before closing fully.

>>101622
I think taking this crazy mutant thing with you is a bad idea, but that's just me.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)15:05 No. 101628 ID: b32ea1
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I let the thing in, then open and close it just to make sure. It opens with no problem like all the other shelters Ive been in.
I aint opening it any time soon, though. That was a bad load of creeps out there.

That's it then. I'm stuck in a dark underground tunnel with some freak mutant.

>>101627
I did warn us, and if we need to we can just shoot it.

>>101628
Check out that panel in the wall.

>>101628
Well... may as well explore this place a bit.
I hope you brought supplies, cause it looks like you might be stuck in here for a while.
Who knows, though, maybe there's an alternate way out.

Well this seems like as good a time as any for introductions. Point at yourself and say your name?

>>101628
Derrick, ma' boy. Whatcha doin kissin' around in the dark? Bottle land ya wrong?
Get the lights on.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)15:12 No. 101637 ID: b32ea1
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I got some basic supplies. But heck, I dun ever work far away from cities. Im not prepared for a friggin siege.
There better be another way out.

The panel opens to the lightswitch.. or so it should. Looks like someone ripped out the whole panel, probably to sell to a scrapper.
Only two wires remain. One sparkles a bit. That means the generator is still online.

>>101637
You know what to do... Touch the wires together.

>>101637
Bah, those wires are too short to touch together. You should turn off the generator first anyway before messing with it, so as not to get shocked to death. Unless of course you have some proper insulated tools to use, and some spare wire. If not, let's continue further in and see if we can find anything to use.

>>101637
...Got any scraps of metal or bits of wire on ya you could use to connect these things?
If you do make sure you aren't touching them with your bare hands when you do it.
If you don't... well, go look for some!

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)15:17 No. 101642 ID: b32ea1
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Yup. Them wires are too short and won't budge. Im trusting my gloves but you might be right on working with it.
I aint got any wires. Id have to find something else.

Can you fire a shot and use the bullet casing?

Did you bring a flashligth? If so, turn it on and let's explore. There's bound to be some loose wires around the place we can use.

>>101645
Lets not risk the ricochet or waste the bullet, I mean there has to be a wire somewhere in here.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)15:25 No. 101653 ID: b32ea1
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When I get a loose wire Ill head back 'n use it. Maybe I'll find another switch ahead.

I turn to the bug again. Its been waiting patiently.
I point to myself.
'I'm Derrick. Derrick.'

The bug waves its antenna.

I repeat myself.
'Der-rick.'

After a few times it looks like it understands.
It points to itself and clicks a few times.

Try to mimic the clicks. I'm sure you'll get it wrong, but hopefully she'll understand that you understood.

>>101653
I don't suppose you can imitate those clicks in any way? Or maybe approximate it to give the mutant a nickname?

Ugh, finding some writing paper would be nice.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)15:36 No. 101663 ID: b32ea1
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I try to imitate the clicks in the same tone and rythem.
Its antenna curve curiously, then wave about again.

It holds up one of its claws towars me.
It chitters and clicks, then slowly in a hoarse and scrapey shriek utters; 'D'rr'ck!'

Close enough, hopefully it feels the same. Time to go looking for wire?

>>101663
Hah, it worked. Alright, let's get moving further.

>>101663
Nod your head and smile. I think that's the best way to praise it without confusing it.

>>101663
Well. As exciting as a discovery as sharing your name with a bug is. How far can you see in this darkness?

>>101667
Uhh, just don't show your teeth.

Actually, try to mimic the clicks again, then point at your mouth, then say "Clicks" while pointing at the thing.
Hopefully she'll get that it's very hard for us to pronounce, and if it's all right with her we'll give her a nickname.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)15:59 No. 101683 ID: b32ea1
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I nod and smile gently, hoping it will understand.
It waves its antenna slowly. Im guessing its feeling comfortable.
I gesture it to follow me.

I can see enough to know where Im going.
Its just a short trip till we hit a little crosssection.
There's three doors and another path.

All the corridors are steel and spotless.
Not the most common for looted shelters, but not too alarming.

>>101683
This...may not be a shelter. The door to your right, a little behind you leads to a security room. While shelters ARE secure places, I doubt they would install a checkpoint. Check in there.

Kiss it already you crazy, lovestruck fool!

>>101683
open the SECURITY door first, maybe you can find additional AMMO and SUPPLIES.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)16:05 No. 101693 ID: b32ea1
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If it aint a shelter, what could it be?
The door to the security room is locked. Not too surprising.

>>101693
kick the door in

Check the other two doors before continuing down the corridor. Check the time too, the hive probably moves on a schedule, so you should know when they will be getting back tomorrow.

>>101693
Any chance of a forced entry option, or is it reinforced?

If it's blocked, we'll come back later. I see two doors with "antennae" markings. I bet that leads to somewhere that can go outside. Lets try the hallway ahead.

I'm guessing that, as it's a security room, the door will be to sturdy to kick in. Try shooting the lock.

What's the door made of, and what does the handle/lock system look like?

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)16:22 No. 101707 ID: b32ea1
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Boom! Lockshot.

>>101707
Check the calendar first, it should give an idea of long the place has been inactive.

>>101707
Ooh Rah Cowboy. Grab the keys right next to you, and look to the lockers real quick.

Hum this while you explore:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtyCEQ_WGDA

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)16:30 No. 101715 ID: b32ea1
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Now either this is a ring of keys for the same door or its a ring of masterkeys as theyre all identical.
The locker is, welp, locked.

I dun see a calender in this room. Next to the door is a panel of numbered buttons and a poster.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)16:32 No. 101716 ID: b32ea1
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If this ain't the layout to this place then they got a warped sense of stylin'.

>>101716
You are not in a shelter, your in one of the facilities that killed everything.

Looks that way. Do the keys fit the locker?

>>101715
>>101716
Good news, is there is many ways out of here. Bad news is...
Well. This place might have things in here that you might not like.

>>101717
... which raises the question of where did the people inside _this_ facility go.
Surely, if everything outside is burning with röntgens, you'd think they'd have the good sense to stay inside.

inb4 starved skeletons.

>>101720
Considering the state of the electrical board we saw earlier. We are not the first to visit here.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)16:46 No. 101726 ID: b32ea1
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Yup. Looks like the previous looter only took the easy pickings if he didn't come in here.
Now it's just the question if he stayed or left already.
I know people ain't actually living here cos they wouldve sealed the place off.

The key doesnt fit on the locker. It has one of them turning code locks.

Possible, but a locked door in a place that's supposedly been looted is a little unlikely. Maybe whoever was here originally took the electrical board as they left, to prevent the facility being used, they were in a hurry and that was the best they could do, hence, why the power is still on.

I vote for another lockshot.

>>101726
Phone dead, check the last marked date on the calender, or at least month/year. Check if the computer works. TOUCH EVERYTHING AT LEAST ONCE.

Avoid lockshot, don't want to hit anything in there that might be useful.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)16:56 No. 101743 ID: b32ea1
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Alright, no lockshots. Gotta be careful with containers I guess.
Let's have a look on the desktop.

Secured, ofcourse, but functional!

I'm sure someone left a password laying around..maybe.

Entering gibberish might not be a good idea. Check the desk drawer instead.

>>101743
You've just scored the post-apocalyptic jackpot! A functional computer! Shut 'er off for now, unless the screen lights the room for you to get a better look.

Check drawer.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)17:05 No. 101758 ID: b32ea1
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Just as I turn off the computer I'm jumped from behind?!
'D'rr'ck!' the bug sounds in a scraping hiss.
It forces me onto the ground.

>>101758
Y-YOU HAVE CHOPS?
FUCK YEAR.
LETS SEE THOSE CHOPS.

Land gracefully, hide under the desk.

>>101758
Someone's coming?

>>101758
Seems like it's scared of something, try not to make noise or sudden movements while still looking around to see what's up.

Seems there is danger.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/30(Wed)17:16 No. 101768 ID: b32ea1
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I gently grab it and pull it under the desk with me. I won't struggle to show it I understand its warning me.

A light shines in from the hallway.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/31(Thu)01:11 No. 102091 ID: b32ea1
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'Contamination detected-- Disposing of disallowed item--'

God damn! My hat!

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

If you think there is any hope of disabling that robot, then you damn well better save your hat.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/31(Thu)01:23 No. 102101 ID: b32ea1
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Boom! Headshot.

'Sensory systems damaged-- Emergency shutdown--'

Take your hat and say: "Nobody messes with the hat."

start fucking around with its circuitry before it reactivates or some shit.

Try to get some wires from our new robopal.

Yeah, get wires, fix panel.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/31(Thu)02:42 No. 102174 ID: b32ea1
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Good plan, partner. I hit it with the butt of my boomstick till wires start sticking out.

There was probably a better way to do that. One quieter and carrier less potential for damage to both robocomponents and gunstock.

Of course, you're in somewhat of a rush. Get the robo inside and close the door.

Also, grab wires. Grab so many wires.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/31(Thu)02:46 No. 102182 ID: b32ea1
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Alright. I lock the robot into the security room.
Back at the panel the wires connect.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/31(Thu)02:47 No. 102183 ID: b32ea1
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The lights flicker on and hum softly.
In addition I hear the grinding of the air filtration system.

Punch the air in triumph.

>>102183
Success! Smirk a bit and say "Hey look, I'm an electrician!"

Hey, go back and check out that drawer in the desk in the security room.

>>102183
Careful if they have security systems they will probably be online now.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/31(Thu)12:12 No. 102288 ID: b32ea1
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Like I said, it's the lightswitch, partner. But perhaps some sensors may detect me easier like this?
I head back to the security room to check out the drawer.

That both looks and sounds important. You'd better take the disc and check the manual.

>>102288
Consume DELICIOUS KNOWLEDGE contained within TITAN I MANUAL.

>>102285
robot already proved there's security

I think it's better to keep it off...
or at least set up a signal system for the power to go on and off

(1 chirp= keep wires together. 2 chirps= seperate wires)

this way you can stop alarms as soon as they start

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/31(Thu)12:38 No. 102295 ID: b32ea1
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Sounds good, folks. I read the guide. Not making that much sense to me. Probably would be better put to use when Im actually trying to use the thing.
I pocket the disc.

Is there a disc slot in that computer you can use? Maybe it'll automatically skip the password part if you put the disc in.

>>102295
Hmm, your buddy seems interested in it. Let them take it for a while.

Go over to the numbered buttons and press one to see what it does.

>>102295
Give your new buddy a massage to strengthen your bond.
Is there anything written on the inside of the front/back cover of the manual? Someone forgetful could have written down their username and password.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/31(Thu)12:51 No. 102302 ID: b32ea1
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Nope, it's all clean. There's no signs of personal things anywhere, really.
I give the book to the creep. It chitters and begins reading, I guess. I can't really tell.

I hit the switches at random. Suddenly the light in the hallway goes off.
I'm guessing it's lightswitches!

>>102302
Well, restore the light back to where you turned it off, then.

Let's go check out Antenna 1.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/31(Thu)13:18 No. 102308 ID: b32ea1
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The door to Antenna 1 is locked, but I open it with the skeletonkey.

The systems look online, but I have no idea how it works.

>>102308
Well, that confirms my suspicions. This isn't a fallout shelter. It's a nuclear silo. Don't. Touch. Anything.

>>102308
Push all the buttons you see! What are the chances it's still armed and dangerous?


...on second thought, do not do that.

>>102311
Yeah, any of these systems could be set to make the world even more explody, and considering there is likely decades of wear and tear on the delivery systems it will likely be in your specific locale.

Doesn't seem to be much we can do in here, go across to Antenna 2.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/31(Thu)13:35 No. 102322 ID: b32ea1
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Considering this is the antenna I doubt it controls the actual launchsilos. I'd have to go to the control room ah reckon.

I head over to Antenna 2. Same thing.

Why don't you ask clicks there if it knows anything about this stuff?

>>102322
Oh, I guess this just detects missiles then, or something.

Go down the other corridor.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/31(Thu)13:42 No. 102328 ID: b32ea1
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'Hey, clicks, what do you know of this?'
It clicks a few times.
'D'rr'ck!'

Ayup.

Other corridor it is then...

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/31(Thu)13:45 No. 102331 ID: b32ea1
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Listen, folks. I dun walk 'round without a goal.
Have look at this map in the security room. Where am I going?

Head on to the control center

>>102331
Uh... Well, according to that, the way we came in should've led to the rest of the facility. Maybe someone printed it backwards? It's weird that the exit and security room aren't marked anywhere... and no barracks or sleeping quarters. Try heading to 15, the 'Portal'.

Try engaging in a mutual language learning adventure ending in your best friendship.

>>102331
Say.... you could use the map and the user manual to appraise if your companion can read.

Point to words, pronounce them, then point to words you haven't said, and see if the bug can say them or something similar.

control center, though portal sounds interesting. How valuable is water in your post apocolyptia?

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/31(Thu)15:30 No. 102386 ID: b32ea1
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Ayup. Seems like our entrance 'n the security room arent on the map. Perhaps it just shows the important internal parts, not the connections to the outside.
Makes me wonder 'bout that there 'portal', though.

Water ain't much of a deal in the big cities. They got purifiers runnin'.

Hell, I'll just take this friggin' layout with me.
On to the control room.

Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/31(Thu)15:41 No. 102387 ID: b32ea1
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Here we are.
Still looks like nothing I can handle, folks.
But it looks like a nice place to sit down if I wanna have a bit of a chat with bugface-- 'cuse me, 'Clicks' here.

To the portal!

Pause Derrick St John Junior 2009/12/31(Thu)15:52 No. 102389 ID: b32ea1
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>Will Derrick head for the portal or try to talk with Clicks? Tune in next time!

Needs continuing.

Continue!