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File 138371151359.jpg - (44.86KB , 640x370 , dinner.jpg )
546784 No. 546784 ID: 097017

Warm felicitations, (Brother/Sister) and welcome to our table! Sit where ever you like; room for you will be made.

It's been so long since we've had an addition to our Clan, I expect the whole family is quite anxious to meet you. Please, come with me, and I'll Introduce you.

Before I do, and you'll have to forgive me, but I'm a little short of sight. You see, before a relative is inducted as a full-privileged member... Well, you could be anything, really. The possibilities of youth are quite blinding. Do you mind giving me some form or image to look upon?

a: Accept and describe yourself
b: Accept but decline to define yourself
c: Other (write-in.)
Expand all images
>>
No. 546786 ID: 3651de

(memotoself: Can't see us? Advantage noted.

(Aloud): Yes I'll come, no I feel I look fine, thank you for offering though.
>>
No. 546789 ID: 73aab1
File 138371294767.jpg - (50.23KB , 286x286 , bitch_godess.jpg )
546789

This form will do.
>>
No. 546791 ID: 6924b8

>>546789
I suppose that will be a sutible form, for now, but perhaps a better question, aside appearance, is what duties will we have? Or is it a matter of us shaping ourselves, and our duties follow our image?
>>
No. 546831 ID: 097017

I'm holding out for one more post before the next next update. As a rule for this quest, I'll usually wait for 4-5 posts from other participants before I take the next step.

>>546786
I expected as much.

>>546789
...Interesting choice. We'll see how that pans out.

>>546791
Perceptive and considerate of you. At my first post each day your actions will be translated into stats that you can use. For example, these last 3 posts have earned you (in this order):

> +1 Leveragist
> +1 (undetermined)
> +1 Analytical

Since I'm not yet sure the motivation for >>546789 this stat will be present but inert until it's purpose is revealed in the course of time... But with a name like B. Goddess, it's gotta be good.

And Yes, as you make decisions now and in the relatively recent future responsibilities, duties and such will be presented to you as your choices and actions describe your personality. Not tonight, however. Tonight is a celebration, for a new star is born! You see, they're celebrating you. Think of it as your first birthday. Happy Birthday to you, Dear tgchan. Enjoy an evening meal with the family tonight, and maybe prepare and plan if you think that prudent, but don't forget to enjoy yourself! Everyone's here to see you, after all.
>>
No. 546836 ID: fc937d

>wait for 4-5 posts
I'd advise against hard rules like that. That's kind of a high bar for a text quest to hit consistently. I mean, it's reasonable to give your readership a chance to participate, but at some point holding up progress for a minimum number of participants will just end up being counterproductive if and when things stall.

>find our role
>diner with family
I'd say then one of our objectives tonight should be to learn as much as we can about the already established members of the family. Presumably we're going to have to find a niche not already under the domain of another god. Unless we're content to start off playing a the role of a minor god, managing a smaller specialized domain of one of the major gods. Or if we're daring and foolhardy enough to try and usurp someone with no experience. Either way though, we need to know what are options are, who controls what, and what's up for grabs.
>>
No. 546844 ID: 097017

>>546836
Challenge Accepted.

>>546836
Mission Accomplished.

>>546836
>+1 Strategist

...What's this?
>+1 Strategist +1 Analytical +1 Leveragist = 1 XP

You've got precious XP! By combining 3 or more descriptors you have gained a mote of divinity that can be redeemed for a Facet.
A Facet is a disposition or skill that can be purchased to give you a passive effect or active ability. Would you like to redeem your XP now?
>>
No. 546845 ID: fc937d

Personally, I'd hold off on spending the xp until we had a better idea of what facets might benefit us, and how they work. (Possibly by paying attention at the banquet, and seeing how others have applied them).
>>
No. 546851 ID: 3651de

>>546845
agreed. Is there any other uses for xp? and how do we use stats?
>>
No. 546855 ID: df1201

Yes, use it! With stats like those, we'd probably do >>546851 better!
>>
No. 546863 ID: 6924b8

While a part of me wonders how this system is gonna work out...
Another part I'm gonna listen to and say-let's use that XP on Analytical!
>>
No. 546879 ID: 097017

>>546845
>>546851
>>546855
>>546863

It seems we have a tie. Is there some brave, noble soul who will end this Quagmirene Stalematish Standstill? Aid us in this, our hour of need Golden Lady Sacagawea! 1 don't, 2 do....
Conservatives win, this round. You can bring up the subject again if you mention it to someone else at the party.

(writing...)
>>
No. 546883 ID: 097017

Well, what a handsome young lass you've turned out to be! Still fairly bright though... Sharp-eyed too, I take it? Good, frees me to help in other ways. Of course, you'll be needing a bonnie brand to go with that courtly frame; I'll be needing a name to announce you as well. What may we call you?
>>
No. 546885 ID: fc937d

Elene. (Sun ray, shining light. Seems fitting for a new 'star').
>>
No. 546886 ID: 6924b8

Torrental Questions?
Queen of Turbulance?
Thrilling Terrifying Questing Que?
Feel free to short-hand any of those names to TQ.
>>
No. 546888 ID: fc937d

>>546886
I would think we'd make up titles after we found some kind of role, or purpose. (Unless you want to choice a title in advance to shape our role, but that seems kind of restrictive). That, and those titles all sound rather... energetic, chaotic, capricious. We've already started to stat ourself as a more cautious thinker, a planner, a manipulator. Doesn't quite seem to fit, to me.
>>
No. 546900 ID: 097017

>>546885
Sounds deceptively serene. Hmm.

>>546886
That. is just. Too Qute Omigosh!

>>546888
Got a point there.

Now if we could just get one more suggestion...
>>
No. 546901 ID: 3651de

Susan. Susan Queue.
>>
No. 546905 ID: 097017

>>546901

Very well, it begins...

(writing...)
>>
No. 546911 ID: fc937d

>deceptively serene
Exactly as we'd want for a schemer, I'd think.

(You want a one word name for a god, anyways. Surnames are for mortals- people who might actually get mixed up).
>>
No. 546923 ID: c1f19a

A point which we have not touched upon yet: What conflicts are we likely to face? Do we face a rival pantheon, or is it infighting all the way?
>>
No. 546934 ID: 097017

(also I hate touchpads. In desperate need of art man-hours, inquire within.)

>>546923
Well your family isn't going to send their youngest child into a conflict ridden domain, but you can expect some difficulties to exist within the Family. Every tree has a few bad apples, ya' know?

>>546911
Interesting choice of words.
:schemers:

>>546888
It's up to all y'all, up till now Susan Q hasn't been anything but smart-eyed, bright and malevolently cute.
>>
No. 546942 ID: fc937d

O-kay then. Let's name ourselves after a country song, and a star trek god. That's great. Yeah. No reason to try and be original.

Not sure why you redacted the her introduction, either. The dialog was fine (nomenclature objections notwithstanding) and the art was passable and suitably creepy and otherworldly.

Anyways, moving on? Not much to work with here. I believe we had a party to attend, and a some general ideas on how to approach / learn from it?
>>
No. 546943 ID: 097017

Patience, Iago.
http://tgchan.org/kusaba/meep/res/25542.html
>>
No. 546958 ID: c1f19a

>Well your family isn't going to send their youngest child into a conflict ridden domain, but you can expect some difficulties to exist within the Family. Every tree has a few bad apples, ya' know?

My expectations range on this point, and I'd like to narrow down what I should be prepared for here. Is it as bad as normal? I sincerely hope that this 'family' situation we're walking into is less incestuous, cannibalistic, violent and braggadocio-laden than Greek myth, but that seems to generally be pretty much par for the course as I understand it.
>>
No. 546969 ID: 097017
File 138383175323.jpg - (593.42KB , 1280x1024 , technical-difficulties.jpg )
546969

It seems that the image I've made is having problems exporting to an up-loadable format, so while we wait it seems now is a good time to settle the apparent dissatisfaction with our Antiheroine's name.

>>546942
Hey, I work with what they give me. I suppose I should know better than to add to many ingredients to the soup. As for the art, well, that's the price I pay for perfectionism I suppose.

>>546958
All shall be revealed in time, young godling.
:QMAINT:
>>
No. 546974 ID: 097017
File 138383762754.gif - (2.39MB , 320x240 , JemComBump.gif )
546974

Fixed it. Gimp didn't flatten out the transparencies properly it seems. So, I'll wait today for an alternative to Susan Elene Torque as a name or we're just going to mosey on past it.

The Show must go on!
>>
No. 546982 ID: fc937d

I suppose the name is workable so long as we don't actually run around calling ourselves Q. Too direct an homage.

...maybe Elene Susan Torque? And use the middle name if and when we're trying to pass for mortal.
>>
No. 546998 ID: bd48c5
File 138384898213.jpg - (71.05KB , 268x400 , Louise C Fair.jpg )
546998

>>546974
Well, we could always go with the classics. Or we could go with something else, like Zint the Raven Haired Bringer of Armageddon.

If you are going to be a god, you may as well chose a name that evokes such.
>>
No. 547000 ID: fc937d

>Bringer of Armageddon
Again, picking titles that shape our role rather than vice versa seems a dumb idea. (Who wants to be the bringer of Armageddon, anyways? It's a lot of boring for the whole length of time, and then as soon as you get to do anything, everything's over. And your role is just clean up. It's like being hired to be the night shift close up janitor, and only being contracted to work the last night before the company shuts down).
>>
No. 547006 ID: 097017
File 138385746995.jpg - (38.49KB , 400x525 , Seth-Statue.jpg )
547006

I suppose I won't be able to use the other acronym after all. Pity. Oh now, Setehk, don't be silly. People don't hate your for your anteater proboscis, it's just your an acquired taste, that's all.

I suppose this is good for those of us who live on the eastern seaboard. EAST COAST!
>>
No. 547011 ID: 097017
File 138386293619.jpg - (47.31KB , 633x907 , bitlyI(slash)R0h0Ew.jpg )
547011

Elene,.. I think? Yes, Elene Susan Torque.

But you may call me... L.
>>
No. 547012 ID: 67a8ae

>>547011
this is the best thing
>>
No. 547013 ID: fc937d

O-kay. Again with the allusions. Although I guess if single letter names are part of the deal, that's inevitable.
>>
No. 547014 ID: bd48c5

>>547011
How cliche.
>>
No. 547019 ID: 097017
File 138386586732.jpg - (138.71KB , 634x910 , bitlyI(slash)R0h0E.jpg )
547019

Elene,.. I think? Yes, Elene Susan Torque.
Elene for when I'm feeling formal, Susan when with strangers...

But you... You may call me Tory.
>>
No. 547022 ID: c1f19a

Shit, someone get a fire extinguisher, apparently we're being immolated!
>>
No. 547028 ID: 097017

Alright, I'll save the kicks and giggles for the disc thread as it seems to be counterintuitive to the immersion process.

>>547022
You want to play out that reaction?

Y/N?
>>
No. 547029 ID: fc937d

Oh, a fakeout? Odd.

>>547028
N. If this is a meeting of the gods, I'm sure a walking ball of fire isn't anything worth note.

On to the banquet? I believe the general idea was to use this as a learning opportunity (how others have built themselves up, what they're responsible for, etc.) to try and make decisions about ourself.
>>
No. 547041 ID: 097017
File 138387821456.jpg - (80.54KB , 500x350 , box.jpg )
547041

"Hah! A bonnie burglarette you'd make! Well, come along then my wee robber baroness, let's meet your folks."

The black void around you fades to grey as you follow Unity's voice as he gently beckons "this way" and "over here". Eventually the your wispy guide stops ahead of you, where serene lights and sounds of merriment make their stead. "Allright, here we are. I've got business elsewhere, but I might be back before the night's through. Good luck, kiddo." As you nod and prepare to pass the etherial veil to the realm where you'll soon make your home, you hear Unity pipe up a bit.

"Oi! before I forget, I've got something for you."


Something materializes between you and the soft mote of light you've been conversing with. It appears to be some sort of box. A present? "A little something I threw together last minute, I hope you like it. Be sure not to open 'till after the feast. Wait 'till the Sovereign calls a toast for you. He'll then pick something out to be the first gift of the night. Hosting festivals, giving presents and naming boats come with the territory for him, you see."

As he (hands?) the ark off to you he pulls in closer and quietly says,


"Happy Birthday... And welcome home."
>>
No. 547046 ID: fc937d

>burglarette
Hmm. There's a title I'm not unhappy with. Lot of interesting ways that archetype could be spun.

>gift, happy birthday
Tuck that away somewhere, and thank him before entering.
>>
No. 547048 ID: d0ea4f

"Thank you Unity. I'll try not to make too much of a mess of things."
>>
No. 547053 ID: 097017
File 138388116721.jpg - (125.34KB , 840x562 , lights.jpg )
547053

He turns back to face you and something sparks within him. His gentle glow grows fierce and his form wavers with energy.

You tense as you hear something crackle and growl within him... Then you realize he's laughing. Not like a spoken word or a breath as he has before, but like a cascade of thunderclaps rumbling over each other like a waterfall.

"You be sure to do that Lassie, from the looks of it, your plenty of trouble for this Pantheon and the next two over." A violet spark briefly flashes in a sort of improvised wink, and then he drifts ahead of you through the threshold and you can hear him cry in a loud voice:

"PRESENTING FOR HER MAIDEN APPEARANCE, OUR LATEST ADDITION, LADY ELENE SUSAN TORQUÉ!"

and then in a flash of lightning Unity is gone like a comet to Gods know where.

The other side of the curtain is silent. You can feel the rays of many expecting eyes settling on your position, leaving you just outside of their vision. You hold the ark firmly in your grasp. You tuck the box away and hold yourself erect, tall and proud. You still yourself in away that can only be described as holding your breath and you keep your eyes staring ahead, ready to meet their gazes with your own...

And you step through the horizon.
>>
No. 547062 ID: 097017
File 138388518245.jpg - (102.51KB , 741x555 , url-5.jpg )
547062

You emerge to see a great wooden hall that almost exceeds your sight in it's length. Fine wooden handiwork adornes the wooden barrel vaulting. You follow their slender limbs down to the floor, and you see columns upon columns and rows upon rows of tables, all encircled by chairs--and in every seat is a brilliant, shining figure... turned to look at you.

For all the commotion that you heard before, you might as well be standing in a vacuum for the silence that pervades the room.

And then the room erupts with cheers. Applause, hoots and hollers fill the air. A few whistles that sound suspiciously like cat-calls are quickly hushed by the wives and sisters of the house.

You see five figures from the closest table rise and come to greet you.

One is a festively dressed willow figured woman with a flowing auburn mane and a green velvet and gold trim dress. Beside her is a olive-skinned rotund man with an unusually ruddy face for his complexion. A stubborn roman nose hooks out and wild unruly shrubbish curls are reined in by a olive and holly laurel. His beard, black, oiled and curled maches his hair, but ends in frizzy shocks of orange filaments; it looks something like a volcanic eruption. At their sides are a boy, a man and a young lady that share their features with the aforementioned couple; apparently their children... who strike you as odd seeing as how they appear younger than you.

The children and their mother beam warmly as she holds out her arms in welcome. The man looks you over with scrutiny, employing his beady eyes to appraise you. Eventually he gives a curt nod and grunts with what seems to be approval. He unfolds his arms to take another sip from his brass goblet.

"Welcome, Sister! We've been waiting for you a while now. Please, feel at home. I'm Tia Festa, and the overfed shrew over here is my husband Agustave."

"I'm fairly confident I'm pleased to meet you, Miss." He offers flatly.

With a good stab between the ribs, Tia's lance-tipped elbow gets him to stumble and waiver off balance. Though he sways dangerously and the cup travels back and forth in staccato, he never spills a drop. He barks, chuckles, and finally smiles ear to ear. He presents you with an enormous hand.

"Thrilled. This time I'm sure of it."

You look suspiciously at the meaty range of hills he provides as an example of an appendage, unsure whether or not your hand will survive intact. This earns you a few more chuckles from his head above you.


What do you do?

a) accept with delicacy his cancerous grasper
b) meet his gusto with a good grip and some industrial grade shaking
c) refuse it for a ladylike gesture
d) refuse it flatly as he was to begin with
e) some other course of action.
>>
No. 547064 ID: fc937d

A. No need to make enemies, or make poor impressions, yet. (And if we're astute, a handshake is a learning opportunity- it will tell us things about our partner).

Besides, there can be strength even in delicacy. Hidden steel beneath the glass. We of all beings, need not be as we appear.
>>
No. 547073 ID: c1f19a

Mm... I guess it wouldn't do to make a show of physical strength here where wits seem to be rather more important. So, raise an eyebrow and gingerly accept the appendage. Also, as a trickster deity is is important for us to demonstrate a sense of humour, so let us try:

"You're so thoroughly married you only shake the hands of young women, I take it? I suppose that would be safest considering the power of your better half's elbow."
>>
No. 547075 ID: f06271

b) Let's see who's stronger! This guy gives me an impression of being a god of wine moreso then a warrior god!
But hey, merrymaking's far easier to be celebrated for than battles!
>>
No. 547117 ID: 3651de

B: make him flap those drumsticks like they were wings.
>>
No. 547128 ID: 60fee2

>>547062
b) meet his gusto with a good grip and some industrial grade shaking
>>
No. 547337 ID: 52216e

A, But nobody ever said a refined handshake cannot be firm.
>>
No. 547443 ID: 097017

> +2 Crafty, +2 Sociable, +2 Observer, +1 Analyst
> You have accumulated too many labels, you can only afford to keep 3 different labels. Automatically spending +1 Analyst on next action.

You reach your hand in his and it seems to be a white ship floating on the waves that stir the fleshy ocean of his open palm. Your hand slowly sinks into the depths of his creased hand as he folds it around your own. His hand grip is neither firm nor is it floppy like a fish; you're actually quite surprised at the softness and smoothness of his hand and it's surprising lack of weight. He delicately holds your hand in a way that matches you own effeminate gesture... He treats your hand as though it were made of fine porcelain (which you've considered you resemble, albeit dipped in gasoline and set alight). Your first impression of him is of an urbane, dry humored gentle giant; A perfect first subject to manipulate. By the way he delicately pawed your hand with his gigantic flyswatter you think he must have had a lot of time to practice. Big pushover, indeed. You unconsciously hold his hand a little firmer in reflection of your trail of thought.

It seems he must have sensed your reaction as an expression of desired dominance because he follows suit. His hand feels a good deal heavier, harder and rougher than it was at first. You look up at at his face, a good several heads above yours, and you see the same good-humored smile and dark discerning eyes... although you see a soft, hot glow of mischief in them. Maybe this guy is not such a doormat after all. If he proves to be particular devious, you might learn something from him. You give an equally polite and conniving smirk as you respond in kind.

Though you're both careful to hide it from the others, soon you and Agustave are engaged in a fierce contest of strength of body and will; each trying to crush the other in the escalating intensity of their vise--all the while glaring at each other like hawks and grinning like foxes with all the polite sincerity you each can muster. You decide to add another dimension to the contest.

"Why, I never imagined how tender your hands could me. It's a good thing your wife is here or you might be doing a good deal more than shaking my hand," You nod in Tia's direction, "a wise decision, considering."

Tia crosses her arms and her long sleeves sway as she juts her head side to side in an fallacious attitude. She considers her husband beside her with narrowed eyes and through her pouty grimace (which indicates she means business) says "You're damn right it is."

A few eyebrows are raised and the ends of a few mouths curl up on the adults close by. The younger girls are all ready chattering and chirping away as they look with affected unbelief while the boys widen their eyes and visor their mouths in a "ooooh snap" expression; wagging their other loosed, open hands as though they touched a stoking pot. Agustave's children pretend not to notice... and they're good at it. It seems they've had time to practice too.

[continued...]
>>
No. 547496 ID: c1f19a

Can we spend that XP point on holding on to more labels? What else can we do with it?
>>
No. 547551 ID: d26381

>>547117
seconding this action.
>>
No. 547552 ID: 742a1e

>>547551
Are you sure? That sounds like kind of a silly idea, to be honest. : P
>>
No. 547561 ID: 097017

>>547496
>>547551
>>547552

>>547559
Is right, I've made a post for all possible uses for xp at the present time. Links:

>>/questdis/77539
>>/questdis/77562

>>547496
>Can we spend that XP point on holding on to more labels?

'Fraid not. Resource economy acts much like metabolism; you intake resources inhaling or eating, the useful bits are eventually consumed, and then exit the system. The most you could do is train yourself to choose which resources to use before you take another breath/bite, which is a good deal more than humans can do with air or food.
>>
No. 547563 ID: fc937d

>A perfect first subject to manipulate.
>...nope, not at all
Lesson 1: don't trust first impressions or appearances, especially with gods. They're as capable of deception as we are. And seeming weakness in the face of a newborn star is a good indication we may be missing something.

>Secret contest of wills / strength hidden in plain sight
That is very nearly the best way this could have gone and completely awesome.

>XP
I think now that we understand the system better, we should spend it (since we can only hold one XP at a time, we won't earn another till we do).

I also think for the moment the best use would be a passive facet, something to help us maximize our gains from the party. >>546863 got it right back here, I think. Analyst is a good stat to have a permanent +1 in. That'll help us in learning as much as possible from the other gods and the situation, and in our consideration of how to play things.
>>
No. 547587 ID: 3651de

>>547443
>>547563
turn on that facet.
>>
No. 547612 ID: c1f19a

Analytical's good, awareness is good... there's lots of things that could be useful here. At some point we should really be trying to pick up some domains and powers too, and two I'm pondering are timeless and infinite.
>>
No. 547615 ID: fc937d

>>547612
The advantage of a simple passive facet is they're widely applicable. Choices of domain and power are more restrictive- they shape what options are left open to us, what we can do, who we are, possibly who our friends and enemies are.

I agree we'll need to pick some up at some point, but I'd think we need more information to make informed decisions, first.
>>
No. 547641 ID: 097017

>>547563
>>547587
>>547612
>>547615
Very well.

> 1 LXP (Analyst, Strategist, Leveragist) = Basic Facet
> duhduh-dah DUUHH!...[press a]
>... You've got the Calculating Facet!...[press a]
>... [i]You're fairly at gauging a persons potential stren...
[press a]
>... gths and weaknesses, weighing your options, and ...[press a]
>... using the minimum influence to it's maximum eff ...[press a]
>... ect! You now have a permanent +1 to all analysis, ...[press a]
>... planning and optimizing attempts! Congrats! [press b to exit]

You're welcome. Feel free to try and get more. I think you'll find you can become quite...

):^|

)B^|

Multifaceted.

)B^J

YEAAAAAAAAAHH
>>
No. 547651 ID: fc937d

aaaaaab
>>
No. 547706 ID: c1f19a

Wait, wait, wait... *someone* has to attempt this, and since we're leaning towards trickster already nobody should be *too* upset if we do:

↑↑↓↓←→←→BA
>>
No. 547899 ID: 097017

>>547706
> hold that thought, Mr. Konami Code, you might be able to do that later. I would have you wiggle the guy's hand like that, but I have no idea how to represent a and be except to have you jump and punch the guy's gut... which would be funny, but a little too non-sequitur.

That must have struck a nerve, because if he thought he was being easy on you before he's really clamping down on you and isn't bothering to hide it. A little wire must have crossed in your head as well, because you don't feel like you have to be nice to this fellow anymore.

"Young Miss, are you accusing me of infidelity? I don't believe it." He turns to look at his wife: "And you're encouraging this kind of behavior? I don't believe it! I spend all week slaving over a hot stove to ensure this young thing gets a decent meal for all those she's missed and she has the nerve to bite the hand that feeds her, with you egging her on! Inconceivable!" He then looks up and speaks to the air as if there were some even higher power to which he can appeal, his free hand out and open in a gesture of confusion and resignation; 'why me, oh God' it seems to say.

You can tell he's particular about what he wears by the fine-woven patterns of his robes and the (your) fist-sized gems that are embedded in precious rings that barely encircle his bloated digits, so you decide to take a jab at his appearance.

"And while I do love a thoughtfully fashionable man, but even with winter coming on, isn't it still a little to early in the season to be sporting holly? I think some autumn oak and concord would have suited you much better."

You hear the crowd react, no longer trying to mute their chatter. The young ladies mouths are gaping wide into astonished 'O's and the boys' heads are craned forward with open mouthed, over-bitten grins; most are now punching their mates in the shoulder in an effort to get them to turn around and look at the unfolding fiasco.

He takes his left hand and places it to his heart in a wounded gesture and puts on a dramatic mask of persecuted innocence, as the goblet rolls on the edge of it's leg over to wedge itself into his inner elbow. "You do me great injustice, dear girl. It's one thing to question a man's moral continence, but it's quite another to disparage his raiment!"

"Well, the olives at least make sense, it is around their harvest time." you apologetically admit. It looks like he lets his guard down. He acknowledges your false regret with raised eyebrows and a forward tilting head. He's beginning to say something sarcastic like 'well, how very kind of you to notice'--but you cut in before he has the chance.

"...at least you didn't think to memorialize me by going cherry-picking."

And with all the self restraint every employed in the dining hall is promptly forgotten. The room is quaking with the sound of roaring revelry, and a few hearty ho-hoers fall back out of their seats--which of course results in more commotion and laughter. An elderly accented voice calls out: "You'd had better watch yourself around zat one, 'Tatties-'Tave', she's onto you vous groper méchant !"

Your opponent's face grows as bright scarlet as the berries that encompass his head. He shoots the the old man a look you're certain that, given his affinity for food, could quite literally curdle milk. It seems he has had quite enough of this game, because Agustave loosens his grip and is about to let go.


But then you give him the squeeze.


You focus all of your might into one, sudden cinch. You feel your burning energy flow into your arm as you try to crush his ridiculously proportioned hand with all your might, your long nails press at his flesh. His skin may be soft, but it sure is thick; it takes you a whole seven seconds to penetrate. But then... no... no, something's wrong.
>>
No. 547907 ID: fc937d

Hmm. Our friendly game seems to have gotten meaner than I expected. Although I guess it remains to be seen how serious this gets. (If we've made a friend and won some respect with our daring, or crossed lines we shouldn't have and pointlessly made an enemy).
>>
No. 547949 ID: 097017

>>547117
>>547128
>>547706

Your arm hideously swells with the rush of fuel you force-fed it. It flexes and quivers with force--it's muscles tug at your bones, like an wild beast testing its leash. Your upper arm spasms painfully as it presses against the tight restriction of your thin sleeve. Through blood-rimmed vision you look up to see his face is still flushing furiously, but his eyes are still as steady and patient as ever.

His hand, though inescapably crushed, deflates to allow him to wiggle it out from around your claws. Deep purple liquor flows out of the wounds like a tap and lubricates the hand enough for some more maneuverability within your death-grip. Again he holds your hand gently. Now, fully reduced, it feels cold, hard and hungry.

"Don't know your own strength, eh, Elene Samson?" he says as his good-natured grin returns. He carefully holds your shoulder with his free appendage and you feel the raging energy flow from your hand into his. The arm clenches painfully with each pulse of malignant strength it pumps out of your system.

"Easy now, here comes the last of it."

With a final surge you push out all the tainted power that remains with you. Your arm bulges with exertion and...

*sckirrrrtitititriiip!*

The sleeve is rent into several ribbons in the process. The limb then rhythmically diminishes back into reasonable proportion.
>>
No. 547950 ID: 097017

[Insert image of Tory considering her muscles.]

But your arm is still freaking ripped.
>>
No. 547952 ID: fc937d

>Don't know your own strength, eh, Elene Samson?
...it would seem I do not. With a laugh, and a smile.

Whatever else that contest was, it was a learning experience. We've got something of our own nature to consider, now. What was that? An unconscious impulse running out of control? At least he seems patient and willing to play this game with us.
>>
No. 547959 ID: de22e8

"Ah, that was quite unexpected! Thank you for your aid in restoring my arm, I got a bit caught up in the moment, as well as for the food you've provided, and I suppose the opportunity for entertainment and self-discovery, Augustave...Would it be Augustave Festa? Do names work like that for us?"
>>
No. 547961 ID: 86c259

>>547952
I think this was a story reaction to my having used the Konami code. Interesting that it would tend to act a lot more like IDBEHOLD B than infinite lives and all powerups.

"Growing pains, you know how it is. One moment you don't exist, the next moment you've suddenly become the entertainment for large numbers of bored folks and discover strengths you didn't know you had.
"Tell me, am I getting a percentage of booze sales during my performance here or is there official entertainment that gets that instead of me?"
>>
No. 547988 ID: fc937d

Regardless of what we actually say, I still think the correct response to our trickery blowing up in our face is laughter. Honestly, I don't know if we won or lost, but it was certainly interesting.
>>
No. 547990 ID: 097017

[insert image of Tory wincing as she tries to move her arm]

And sore as hell.
>>
No. 548009 ID: 097017

You actually start feeling a little woozy, and you can tell from the reflections around you that your aura has dimmed considerably. Before you have the chance to wobble too much Agustave is behind you, gingerly wedging his now shriveled hand under your right armpit.

"Watch it," you jokingly warn him, "I'm ticklish there."
"You'll live."

His paunch presses against the back of your head as he slightly leans the both of you forward.
"Oi, oi, no funny business now." you seriously warn.

"Wouldn't dream of it." He bends down to the right and literally sweeps you off your feet when his forearm lifts up against the back of your knees. With your comely legs dangling over his forearm at the square and your darling tush comfortably submerged into his plateau of a pot belly, you're sitting pretty in more ways than one. it's an unusual sensation, sitting on someone stomach while they are standing up. The consistency of his belly is something between a memory-foam mattress and a water bed, complete with faint sloshing sound effects.

He's turned you around to face the crowd you've pleased tonight. His youngest runs up to his side and turns his uplifted hand palm up to point at you with his outstretched fingers.

"Elene Torque, everybody!"

The masses break into applause. You hear a few "Whoo whooooo!"s from hand-funneled mouths, and you even hear a strained, cracking voice near the back shout "Marry me, Elene!"

It's amazing. It's like whatever you do, no matter how insignificant or thoughtless, is met with cheers and smiling faces.

You realize that the heads of both you and Agustave are at about the same height, so he's probably got a faceful of ponytail right now. The idea strikes you to take advantage of the situation by sweeping up the dirty face of a dirty old man. You wiggle your head with vigor. "I wouldn't do that to someone who's holding me a few feet in the air if I were you." he candidly reminds you. You offer an innocent, girlish giggle in response.

Agustave starts walking over to the table with his son at his side, fiddling at the tassled fringe of his father's robe like a kitten. "Hey, Chip," the man calls down to him, "Help me out here." The boy looks up and nods. Running ahead, he pulls out a seat and the calorie-laden colossus sets you down on your cute lil' kiester.
>>
No. 548051 ID: 86c259

Mental note: They were very bored and/or drunk before we got here. Too bad we don't know more about how to con these folks and get something we want out of the effort yet. Need ideas and usable plans for this!

"The usher seems to have forgotten to hand me my evening programme. Who is the master of ceremonies and what's the next event?"
>>
No. 548054 ID: fc937d

Well, that was interesting. Time to let things calm back down a little? Sample some of the food, maybe, see what happens or presents itself next.
>>
No. 548057 ID: 3651de

> It's like whatever you do, no matter how insignificant or thoughtless, is met with cheers and smiling faces.

welcome to being the new born. Just wait 'till you take your first shit in the toilet; they'll go nuts.

Party has to end sometime though, it wont last a day after you hit the terrible twos.
>>
No. 548112 ID: 3651de

>>548057
exactrecise-a-frigginglutely. You a Parent or got a baby sibling?

>>548054
>>548051
>>547988
>>547961
>>547959
>>547952

Now that you're seated, you don't feel like getting up or going anywhere, and you tell Agustave as much.

"Don't worry, it'll pass. Just take it easy for the rest of the night, 'right?"

You nod.

> Your labeler is burned out. Your rate of exchange is reduced to 3 suggestions : 1 label until you've taken and extended rest (which is at least for the rest of the evening IC.)
these are getting hard to keep track of! I hope you level soon so it doesn't pile up like this again!

"Thank you Agustave... Festa? Do names even work like that for us?" He lifts an eyebrow. "What, surnames?"
"Yeah." He walks behind you again and pushes your chair back into position. "Well, they're more like personal titles than family names..." He scoots you into the table. "...But if you like, I can be your zany Uncle Festa." he says as he peeks over your shoulder. You both smirk. You're not sure why it's funny, but it sounds familiar and it feels right. "Or you can always call him what I do." Tia pips. "Itty Bitty Auggie the Auge--" "--riculturalist" You're uncle interrupts, giving his wife (and you're 'sister') a stern look as his then paling face starts burning anew. He pats you on the knee as he sits beside you at the head of the table. "You get to sit by ol' Uncle Festa tonight. Don't pay attention to anything that crazy woman has to say." You look over the table at smug woman sitting at his other side. You exchange glances, and then you smile. "I dunno, I think prefer 'Little Auggie the Auge--riculturalist' much better." Augustave buries his face in one enormous hand and shakes it mournfully. "You've created a monster, wench." Tia then gives him the look as he prepares himself for more incoming sass. "I'm not a wench, I'm your wife. Besides, you've got your brother to thank for that."

"Now's not the time for that conversation, Tiumbra." He turns to the rest of the table; "Kids, please. Introduce yourselves quick before your mother starts talking again."

You ears perk up and you sit a little straighter in your chair. It seem's they're talking about... Your father?


What do you do?

(vital information: interaction mode engaged.) 1. Allow the kids to introduce themselves and bring up the subject late. 2. Hold the horses; this is important stuff. Have Augustave talk about this and, if he proves uncooperative, go over his head and have Tia divulge what she knows. 3. Politely allow 'Auggie' to redirect the conversation, but use the opportunity to apologize first and then get acquainted with your cousins afterward. *. Press Star for technical support (more info on mechanics and how it can apply to this situation.) #. Press pound to activate people reading powers to extract more context 0. Press Zero for more options (write-in some other course of action)
>>
No. 548119 ID: fc937d

>the background mechanics we mostly can't see are overloading and burnt out!
Right. I'll do my best to ignore the invisible smoke.

>what do
I like 3, using Augustave to steer the conversation. It's at once an indirect means of control, and a trusting him to get us what we want to know. I think after our first confrontation / learning experience we can trust him with that. Nothing wrong with apologizing to show our appreciation and that it was all in good fun, either.

Also... `~!@#$%^&*()-_=+
>>
No. 548123 ID: 097017
File 138448060829.jpg - (13.84KB , 610x203 , kitt_601432890.jpg )
548123

>>548119
I'm sorry, David Michael LongKnight-HassMcHoff, I'm afraid I cant let you use the turbo boost more than once per episode.
>>
No. 548128 ID: fc937d

>>548123
3*#, then.
>>
No. 548130 ID: 86c259

0 --Apparently he's our crazy uncle Festa for real, so let's ask for the rest of the introductions and more info about the family tree. Hypothetical query follows:

"He has his brother to thank for my pretty little existence, does he? Well this seems like it's interpreted as a good thing then considering I'm not being dropped in a dark hole, or chewed up and eaten, instead of getting a debutante event.
"I suppose further introductions and an overview of the family tree are in order, either way."
>>
No. 548131 ID: e8a5f8

3...I don't think we wanna use our label powers now. Let's give them a rest for a bit-we might seriously hurt ourselves.
>>
No. 548152 ID: 097017

>>548131
Even though they are both descriptors, only your labeler (i.e. your spiritual metabolism) is acting up. Your facets (which are all already incorporated into your being) work just fine.

In an extended metaphor, you've got a bad case of indigestion, but that doesn't effect how well your peepers see.

I really got to come up with better names for these things.
>>
No. 548170 ID: fc937d

>>548152
...so, there's really no reason not to pound pound and increase what we learn no matter what we choose to say, right?
>>
No. 548196 ID: 097017

>>548170
Not unless you have another facet. Once you have several you have to choose to use them one at a time, and possibly miss an opportunity to employ the right one by being distracted using the other.
>>
No. 548211 ID: 097017

>3||0 *#

Alright, let's narrow this down and sequence it so you get the results you paid for:

Step 1) call tech support and use 'the gift'. (set)

Step 2)
Which comes first?
a- Apology
b- Introductions
c- Geneology

Step 3) use 'the gift'. (set)

Step 4)
Which of the two remaining options do you do next?

Step 5) The gift. (set)

Step 6) The final remaining option.


So which order will it be?



1- abc: Facet, Apology; Facet, Intro; Facet, FamTree.exe
2- acb: Facet, Apology; Facet, FamTree.exe; Facet, Intro
3- bac: Facet, Intro; Facet, Apology; Facet, FamTree.exe
4- bca: Facet, Intro; Facet, FamTree.exe; Facet, Apology
5- cab: Facet, FamTree.exe; Facet, Apology; Facet, Intro
6- cba: Facet, FamTree.exe; Facet, Intro; Facet, Apology
>>
No. 548214 ID: fc937d

0_0

...uh, one?
>>
No. 548249 ID: 86c259

>>548214
We are in accord.
>>
No. 548267 ID: 097017

>>548214
>>548249

You entered *#30. For technical support please stay on the line while we reconnect you.

(to the Discthread! >>/questdis/77669)
>>
No. 548350 ID: 097017

That 'monster' comment rubs you the wrong way, but know now not to let it get the better of you. It also reminds you that you'd like to apologize for earlier, but don't want to deal with anymore pretenses right now. You butt in with a casual tone, intentionally sounding particularly frazzled and confused. "I'm, I'm really sorry about that... thing. Whatever it was, that I did back there. What was that, anyway?"

He gives you a disregarding expression and a wave of the hand. "Don't worry about it. You're young and full of energy. You just got excited, is all." Well, you recall you weren't the only one who 'got excited', but now is not the time to start another conflict... not yet. You want to keep the mood light.

"What can I say?" You say. "Growing pains... You know how it is; one moment you don't exist, the next moment you've suddenly the center of attention for thousands of people who haven't anything better to do that sit on the edge of their seats and follow your every move--that and your body's habit of instantly growing man-arms every time you jiggle someone's hand the wrong way." The parents, Chip and the other girl snort comically. It seems these people are a lot of things, but a tough crowd isn't one of them.

"but seriously, I really didn't mean to..."

Agustave ignores you and lifts his shrunken hand in an attempt to get his eldest's attention. "Hey, Faan." The slender young man looks up from his book. Your uncle bounces his arm around. "Give me a hand?"

His thin, wiry fingers quickly slide a bookmark between the pages and places it on the table with a single motion; swift, smooth and concise. He grabs a shoulder bag that hangs from his chair and hustles over. "Sorry, pop, got a little distracted."

"Chevabene--so long as you don't leave your poor papi here to suffer this little work of art. Be polite and say hello while you're at it." Faan's hands are already occupied applying some sort of herbal antibiotic cream when he looks up to his father with a puzzled expression. You didn't even see him retrieve them--he must be quick.

"Hunh?" Well... maybe not that quick.

[continued]
>>
No. 548352 ID: 097017

"Alla ragazza, genio." Faan's face registers the significance. "ooooh." He turns his head to face you. "Yeah, Sorry. I'm Faan. I, uuh... work on people I guess."

"Oh stop being so humble." his mother prods. "He's a whiz with plants and has all but surpassed me and his father in medicine. He's already in charge of all the family's gardens and we're actually going to recognize him as patron of physicians tonight."

"A patron." Augustave corrects her. "He's still working under my supervision."

"Pfft. Your idea of healing somebody is cramming their belly to the brim with bruschetta and baked mostaccioli." Augustave grimaces. "I believe it was Hippocrates who said 'Let food be thy medicine and thy medicine thy food.'" he asserts. "And of course you don't have any trouble with that." Tia returns.

"Heal thyself, physician." Agustave swings back.

"I'm not sure whether you're telling me to check myself or stuff my face." Faan just shakes his head as he knots off the roll of gauze he wrapped around his fathers hand. He's already back in his seat with his nose before you know it, as if he never left.

You turn to the younger two children who are sitting on your side of the table. "Are they always like this?" The boy right next to you gives you a big fecal-snarfing grin and nods emphatically. "Oh yeah. They're actually being quite tame and tactful tonight. You should see them when they're really angry." You produce a mocking shiver. "I don't think I'd like them when they're angry."

"Aww, bambino" August laments, "we're not that bad. We just get a little 'festy' at times."

"We all do I guess." You say. I did mean it when I said--" Tia pauses you with a uplifted hand. "Honey, who are you trying to convince? He forgave you already. It's fine." she pats you on the hand reassuringly.

August nods in agreement. "If anybody, I should be the one to apologize. You're reaction really didn't really surprise me considering where you co-" He stops himself mid-sentence and jerks his head to the nearby doorway. An instant later you hear something crash and clatter on the other side.

Agustave slams his cup down, stands up with a huff and starts cursing. "...stupido pigro buono-a-niente primoanno-da-cucinamani nonpossono-tenerela manosudatacostante..." He rushes over to the doorway in a storm, his maledictions crescendo as he goes.
"Non puoifidarti dinessuno afare nientedi buono inquesti giorni, appena avutomodo difare tuttoda soli!"

Tia's eye's roll. "I better go check on him, make sure he doesn't chew one of those poor apprentice's ears clean off." She also stands and flows behind Augustave like the gentle waves that trail a speedboat after their roaring fury slackens as they travel.

[continued...]
>>
No. 548695 ID: c770a7

The girl waits a few moments, then looks over her older brother. "Are they gone?" Faan doesn't look up from in his book. "You're not going to get away with it--they're going to know." She turns around and plants her knees on the cushion. Then, she pokes her head over the back oh her seat. "I don't care, they never do anything more than yell at me for a week. You can't stay mad at someone who keeps your house clean."

Faan just shakes his head, licks his thumb and turns the page in his book. Meanwhile, Chip's face is still plastered with a Cheshire smile. He balls his little hands into fists and pound them on the table. "DO-IT. DO-IT. DO-IT." "Do what?" you query. She looks over to the both of you waves both of her hands down at you in an attempt to silence the noise. In reality, it looks more like she's fanning the flames. "Shh. Just don't say anything or think too hard."

[unfinished post]
>>
No. 548937 ID: 097017

<!--hey ADMIN, I'd me much obliged if you slapped this post onto the end of the last one... It would make me feel a lot better about myself. I PROMISE to remember my password this time-->

"do-it, do-it, do-it do-it."

She slips out of her chair and tip toes over to Augustave's vacant seat. You follow her gaze to find it fixed on his brass goblet. Ah, Maybe she wants a sip? She flicks her wrist and out pops a straw hooked up to some sort of crank-operated device. She glances over to look back at the doorway her parents disappeared, and then turns her attention back to her task. She timidly introduces one end of the straw into the drink... "It's not going to work." Faan dryly repeats.

She brings the other end to her lips and and rather than slurp the fluid she starts winding the crank slowly.

"chug! chug! chug! chug!" Chip chants.

It seems that your cousin is attempting to steal some of his father's drink, quite apparently against his will.


What do you do?

1- Intervene
a- gently
b- emphatically

2- Permit
a- watch
b- relocate yourself to escape responsibility.
c- aid her in her bid for booze

3- Some other alternative?
>>
No. 548947 ID: a8e65f

We should do something tricky, funny and subversive while still alerting the proper channels to show we respect authority... Hmmmmm...


*joins chip's chant by pounding fists on table*

chug! chug! chug!
>>
No. 548985 ID: d90912

Swat that stick.

"No means no, cuz."


(I'm liking this story so far, but I think we've already gotten the feel for th ambiance. We are loved; I get that, but I'm itchy for more action.)
>>
No. 548990 ID: 9be2ae

waiiit. Waitwaitwaitwait. You popped ol' poppa bears watermatressed hand with them talons, amirite?

Don't you still have some on your hands?

Maybe you could giver her that? We can erm... hand. hand-feed her. Ya know. To bond.

Yeaaaaaah... girl bonding.

<(n///n)>
>>
No. 548996 ID: 097017

>>548947
heh.

>>548985
mmkay.

>>548990
ლ(ಠ益ಠ)ლ

writing....
>>
No. 549015 ID: 097017

She finds your hand enclosed around the straw's action. She looks up at you, a bit peeved, but mostly unsure what to think.

"We've got a choice here, dear cousin." You say. "If you so decide to reconsider, I wouldn't think any less of you." You lean in a little closer and level with her eyes. "But if you think it's best to keep going," you give her a conspiratorial wink, "I'm wouldn't mind having a taste myself. You know my name, may I have yours?"

She gives a confused smile back. "Nessie. Well met, I guess. I think maybe I... We... would have a better chance sneaking into the cellar when the shows start after dinner; the window of opportunity is passing and people may start to notice. I'd give you my hand but..." she shrugs. "Well, you know."

You lift your hand to see it still stained with wine from Augustaves hand. "Oops. I better get that cleaned up." She appraises it for a moment, and then attaches some sort of bladder to one end of the straw. She lifts it to the light and show you. "Do you mind?" You shake your head. "No, please; help yourself." She places one end of the straw and winds the crank to collect the stuff on your hands. She detaches the tiny wine-skin and ties it off. "Got to clean this stuff before I can use it, probably not for myself. Maybe it would make good wood-stain."

You express a bit of confusion. "I hope you don't think me rude, but isn't it a tad odd to be collecting your fathers blood for... less than academic pursuits?" She raises a thick eyebrow. "What, this? Ho. Nonononono. That wasn't really his hand it was... How do I explain this. You remember feeling anything odd about the feel of his grip underneath all that blubber?"

You recall the sharp contrast that hungry chill had against your Uncles warm features; that hard mass beneath malleable, unworked flesh. You nod.

"That, was his hand. The rest is just some fluff he wears, like clothing." You both hear Agustave's lamentations return as he approaches the other side of the doorway. "We better get back to our seats. I'm glad to have met you, Elene. I think you'll make a fine friend." You nod as the two of you hurry back to your seats. "Agreed, on both counts." You flash her the most convincing smile of insincerity; you have found your mark. "The best of friends."

As you both sit on either side of the Chip, he's still eyeing you and grinning like a bobcat.



How do you introduce yourself to him?


a- be genteel.
b- be playfully rude.
c- talk baby to him and pinch his cheeks.
>>
No. 549019 ID: 36c336

Whut... No!
The proper answer is to ask, "So why is it you would go to the trouble of slurping up what your dad's drinking anyway?"
>>
No. 549023 ID: bee296

b- he sounds like a little scamp, and we're definately the scampy type ourselves I think.
>>
No. 549027 ID: 36c336

"So tell me something, is everybody lying to me? You, your brother and your sister all look younger than I am but I can't remember yesterday. I find that interesting since you look younger than I do but you look like you do remember yesterday."
>>
No. 549175 ID: fc937d

b
>>
No. 549197 ID: b62ff4

/| <*|}:^'> \|
>>549019
> Bahk, I know that! How I could it be that I, Qmoz the great and powerful, not know that! I was trying to throw you a bone laced with behindthecurtain information and nutrients! (iknewthat.) Very well. I shall grant your request. Sometime, either retroactively or as an after though you pose that question to the result of:

>>549023
>>549175

It seems like her parents she speaks with her hands... or rather silences people with them. "Talk about it now and they'll be onto me. I'll have plenty of time to explain it to you." As soon as she's finished talking the couple emerge, both carrying several trays of food and drink. You notice that Aunt Tiumbra is carries a good deal more than her husband.

"Necessity! Tools off the table!" She calls out to Nessie, who had already began tinkering with another small device before she begrudgingly stows it away. Augustave walks over to your table. "Like Aunt Pneumonia always said, 'where there's a whip there's a way.' Mama Machiavelli would be proud. Order Up!" he says, his face glowing with pride. Then turns to walk up the center aisle of the room and disappears in the distance. A train of servants and kitchen-hands soon follow, carrying platters on the entirety of their arms, shoulders and heads. Tiumbra stands next to you and waits with the food in her steady outspread arms. "We've got to wait till he serves the head of the table." She explains as she glances over at you.

"And who would that be?" You inquire. She shrugs, the platters on her shoulders rise and fall. "To you? Another uncle. It's his brother." You hear a low whistle, almost sounds like a horn, and Tiumbra promptly slides the first few dishes onto the center of the table. "Alright kids, I'll be back to check on you in a bit." After she's served the next few tables over, You lean over Chip (who showily protests) to wisper to Nessie. "People are going to be distracted by the food your mom's serving. Now's your chance, if you'll take it." She barely looks up from tweaking the gizmo she's replaced in front of her. "Nah, he already took it." You look over, and sure enough it's gone. You try and puzzle out how he managed to pick it up with all the food he carried , but Nessie tells you not to bother. "Yeah, it's better not to try and think about it. I've lived with them for years and I still haven't figured out how they do half the stuff they do."

"Hey, lady!" Chip puffs. "I don't care if you are my cousin, next time you pass over me like that I'm grabbing me some girl-pillows; You cross the bridge, you pay the troll."

You turn to the little scamp. "And then there's you, lolipop guild. That how you welcome little girls to Munchkin-Land?"

"Only if you drop a house on that Wicked Witch to the West of me." he jabs a little thumb over his shoulder in Nessie's direction. Then, impossibly, the little ape bares his teeth even wider. "Though I wouldn't mind to see you in a little country dress and pigtails."

"Yeah well don't keep your hopes up, kickstand, you haven't a prayer."

"Not even if I pray to you, Elene Devine?"

"Not even if you had another pair of shoulders to stand on."

"Shiesties. Thought I had you there."

"You wouldn't have had me here nor there, the same is true everywhere. I do not like your half-baked plans, I do not like you 'little man.'"

"What is that, Dr. Seuss?"

"I though I might use something a little closer to your comprehension level."

"Hey, you smart-assed tramp, I'll have you know I'm the oldest kid sitting at this table."

"That's 'cause your the only 'kid' sitting at this table, fun-size." Nessie snaps.

Faan yawns just before setting aside his book to serve you a plate of food. "Even if you could prove that, you still can't read to save your sorry cheeks from a good tanning."

"Ah stuff it, Miracle Mick. You don't know who you're messing with."

"And who is that, exactly?" you require. "The family dog?"

"Sure. I'm a little fuzzy black terrier who likes to get all snuggled up in your pick-a-nick basket. You can call be BooBoo."

"You little snot!" Nessie spits as she pulls his ear. At first tug his head painfully follows, but then it comically stretches like a cartoon. Nessie takes advantage of the length of his lobe and by using her clever fingers to wrap it around the smug expression on his face. She makes the ends a complicated knot and stuffs it in his mouth. "That's none of your bee's wax, brat."

"Or ears' wax, to be anatomically correct." Faan Suggests. You and Nessie give him a cynical look. "What? I'm trying to contribute." He says after pouring everyone's drinks. You top it off: "I think that one was a bit of a stretch." Your cousins wince and cringe, except for Chip whose "YEAAAAAAAAH" is muffled by the ears that have been stuffed in his mouth.

Where's a good pair of shades when you need one?
>>
No. 549200 ID: fc937d

>Nah, he already took it
Hmm. We're going to have to up our game if we want to stick to the theme we've started. We shouldn't be missing tricks of slight of hand. The burglarette has some improving to do.

...we've certainly got banter down, though. That's a rather impressive wall of quips.
>>
No. 549206 ID: 36c336

Mm... my attempt to find a weakest link in a hypothetical conspiracy seems to be on hold here. Without any particular agenda or topic of conversation to pursue at this moment I'm tempted to suggest people deity watching rather than ruining the effect of that pun-ender.

>"Though I wouldn't mind to see you in a little country dress and pigtails."

Never say never, Tory: As a goddess of trickery I would be surprised if you never used this particular possibility of disguise at some point. If it does come to pass I suspect it won't happen because Chip wants us to though, I would hope we can do better even for an un-serious boy-toy.
>>
No. 549220 ID: 097017

> reviewing old posts; realize a quarter of witty dialog is missing from almost all of them. (:'^[ Nothing to critical, but we are introduced to Agustave's fat, neolithic ass 'Curly'. He likes people to rub the back of his knees.

Chip bites down on the improvised gag that's been shoved in his mouth. He swallows and blows on his thumb, then... *POP* his ears shoot right out the sides of his head where they belong.

"Charpcho." He says. You turn to face him. "Gesundheit." you bless him.

His feathered proto-moustache twist into a frown. "It's not a sneeze, it's my name. You asked me who I was and I'm telling you. Charpcho Farct." says he as he twiddles a lit stick of dynamite to his lips like a cigar. "I'm the competition. Your competition."

"Is that a fact?" You challenge.

He wiggles his enormous eyebrows, "Just as much a fact as there are nips on the tips of your tits, sweetheart." His hairy brow furrows. "You do have nips on the tips of your tits, don't you?"

You reach over your hand and place it on his chest. You put on your best doll face. "Do you?" you innocently ask in a small, girly voice. A lecherous smirk appears on his face, but then you pinch.

And twist.

[reactionface.jpeg]

He squeals in a pitch any castrato would envy. He flaps his arms and flutters over his chair before he lands face-down in the cushion and his butt in the air.

Tiumbra storms over to the table with her hands on her hips. "I leave you here for all of five minutes and already you fiends are up to something. Well? What's it this time?" You're two comrades sit up straight in their chairs and shift their eyes between the three of you. They look like they'd be perfectly content to slither across the floor and find a small hole in the wall to die in. If you don't act, something's going to give.

Then, it hits you. You can't help yourself, it's just too good of an opportunity to miss. You know it'll probably get you in trouble, but its not just not something you can keep inside. "Look, Auntie Ef, It's a twister!" you gasp with a tear in your eye, fighting to keep the giggles contained. She follows your pointed finger to see Chip's derrière standing at full attention, his hand still cupping his tender breasts. "Is this true?" She demands of him.

"mhhhnh-mmmn." he manages to mutter.

"Then you probably deserved it. Just like your father when he was your age. When are you ever going to grow up?"

"*sniff* muh-oooom, be*hic* nice to meeeeee." He whines. His mother picks him up by the ankle and lifts him so she can stare him right in the eyes. "I will the moment you start being nice with those girls. Now as soon as your mouth gets a full glass of lye its straight to bed with you mister."

"But mooOOOM, I've got to do the show tonight! You prooOOM-ISED!" She ignores him and looks down. "Whats this?" She says. Chips eye's shoot open. His face has 'oh shit' written all over it. She reaches down and slowly lifts the explosive between her thumb and index fingers. "Charpcho Howard-Shempington Guido Sarducci Farct what did-I tell-you about playing with LIVE EXPLOSIVES?!"

"Uhh..." He stutters "That's not mine. I'm holding it for a friend."

>.>
<.<

"Yeah well your friend better get his invisible ass here with an alibi quick or I'm going to make you have this instead of your dinner. Which will eat faster, I wonder; your big mouth, or the fuse?"
>>
No. 549225 ID: 36c336

"Just out of curiosity, what kind of explosives does he play with, and why isn't he allowed to have them? If it's just a firework maybe he was actually planning to use it as part of the entertainment."
>>
No. 549226 ID: fc937d

Hmm. Interesting. Despite our apparent malleability of form, fireworks still present a danger to god-children? (Or not so much, since she's threatening to make him eat it, lit). Or I guess they're enough of a potential nuisance to restrict access.

Didn't expect our teasing to actually land anyone in hot water, but I suppose it's his own fault for carrying contraband.

...although again, you didn't notice he was hiding it earlier. Going to have to work on our powers of observation, and slight-of-hand skills. We should recognize when people are hiding objects, or moving them around. Useful and in-theme to be able to make people doing those kinds of things. (And when we need to get tricky ourself).
>>
No. 549392 ID: 097017

>>549225
>>549226
"It's allright, Ms. Festa, I didn't really mind. I just made sure his good turn didn't go unrewarded."

"Well I don't want you two troublemakers escalating this into some sort of practical joke arms race."

"It's just some healthy competition, Right Chippy?" You pinch his is reddening cheeks. He crosses his arms upside-down, still dangling from Tiumbra's strong hand. "Yeah whatever." He says. Tiumbra narrows her eyes at the both of you. "That's what I'm afraid of." Chip turns back and forth impatiently in her grip. "All-right ma, will you let me down now?"

"What's that, honey? Let you down? Sure." Chip drops to the floor head first. His neck bends in all sorts of ugly directions, but he's no worse for wear. He shakes his fist "confound you, woman!" She scowls in return. "Next time I find you with a stick of dynamite I'm sticking it up your butt like a baby thermometer." "She then looks to you. "Keep it down, will you?"

"Yes ma'am!" you supply as you execute a perky salute. "Mmmhmm." She says. "I've got some people to talk to, so I'll be back. I'm going to send cousin Paradameus this way to make sure you rug-rats don't cause anymore trouble."

You hear groans from Chip and Nessie, but all Faan does is nod and take a bite of some thick meat.
>>
No. 549399 ID: fc937d

Pff. Nice touch with the salute.

Offer Chip a hand up before returning to your seat. A simple gesture that demonstrates there really was no harm meant. (Even if we won that exchange. And had fun doing it).

While we're up, take the chance to surreptitious survey the room, see what's going on and what people are doing. Grab a little more information to process on before putting our tush back down.
>>
No. 549443 ID: 36c336

>>549399
Good start, except that shaking his hand is an invitation to being pickpocketed, so danger, danger, danger.

"Dynamite Chip, really? You'd have better odds trying to get away with some fireworks. If you're gonna keep getting randomly searched you should invest in better stashing, better help, or plans that don't require things you can't carry with you.
"Now who's going to introduce this cousin Paradameus?"
>>
No. 549466 ID: fc937d

>>549443
I meant more helping him up than shaking (he is pancaked upside down on the floor, after all).

And we only have one possession to keep track of. I'd think we could keep the box from being pickpocketed.
>>
No. 549556 ID: 097017

As Tia walks away you offer your hand to the ruffled caricature lying on the floor. He eyes you like his father, then reluctantly raises his hand. Your hands almost meet, but you hand snakes past his and latches to the back of his wrist. As you hoist him up forward and turn his hand palm upward. You shake your head; he can't be serious.

"Seriously?"

His absurd smile persists. "I wanted to make a shocking impression."

Now that you are standing you take the opportunity to look about you. From the endless host arrayed, you do notice some features of the population spread before you and after a reasonable time looking in all directions patterns emerge. It seems that this isn't exactly the one 'big happy family', but several. You see a few banners hanging over the districts of the dining hall. There four figures you can make out, it would be five if you could see the one hanging directly above you.

The first is the image of a rearing dragon, red and rampant, regarding the sword run through his belly with his eyes as he faces his back. Though its form is simplified and stylized, you can tell his expression is neither furious, resigned nor pained--it seems almost to study it's own demise with a detached, dispassionate interest. You see the contour of the dragon on the flag's other side through the cloth. It looks different, perhaps he tells another story.

The second is a an image of an armored woman--sword to her chest--half enveloped within the maw of the same beast. Like the icon before, the woman face signifies no trace of concern or distress but has a demeanor of stern serenity, knowing the peace of a duty well served. In fact, it seems that she is not being consumed at all, but rather being born. A rising phoenix cloaked in a glory of wildfire like a voice of Victory, a fanfare of Freedom, a compassing clarion of Championship. You cannot make out the motto, but the her name you can see clearly emblazoned: Jean D'Drac.

The third display too speaks of dignity and duty, but has no such vibrancy or life. It is a design of Celtic knots arranged the model of the skull. It's deep eyes draw the warmth from you and fills you with a cold sense of destiny and fate. It is a force that knows your respect--your admiration, even. Though it holds your camaraderie, and it recognizes you as a it's confederate as you do it, it does not have your love. You hear a cry of exquisite misery and anguish in those eyes. Instinctively turn away. When your eyes return, it is silent as the grave.

Your eyes turn to the fourth and see the force that binds them all together. It is a gentle will, but a strong one. It is simple, unassuming and draws no tribute to itself. It embodies all three factions and more in it's renewing circuit. It is a plain, unadorned Triquetra, it's power manifest in it's uncomplicated elegance.
>>
No. 549611 ID: c91c51

There's really only one word you can use to describe it;

Unity.

You are stirred out of your trance by a painful pulling on your sore arm.

"..ay, I get it! Lemme go, Grendelle! lemmegolemmegolemmygolemmygole..."

You see Chip, both feet pressing your side and trying with all his puny might to yank himself free. It seems you've unconsciously tensed your grip around his wrist which, true to form, is squished and stretched ridiculously thin, like the knotted navel of a rubber balloon. You release, and rather than tumble to the floor again, he does a stupidly elaborate and irrealistic dive routine in the four and a half feet that separates him from the ground. By the time he lands and demonstrates an uncharacteristically inflexible split with a wince.

He looks up at your face and his own comic expression breaks and melts into concern. "Hey cuz, you alright?"

"Yeah... Yeah I'm fine."

"It's been fun and all, but if you're not up to it now maybe we can do this later? Maybe we should listen to my dad. Here, let me help you."

At first you refuse, but your fatigue out weighs your stubbornness and your arm is acting up again.

When he isn't acting like a fool Chip is very much a child. He's zany and thoughtless, but you perceive he is well meaning and sometimes sheepishly incapable of offering the help he wants to give. He does manage to get you to your seat a few steps away.

The worry on his face eases, but doesn't leave. He tries to give you a reassuring smile, but the clever young head on his old shoulders is still grappling with a puzzle it cannot comprehend. Faan is already at his side with his medical bag and Necessity gets up from her seat. "Fannie McCure, my boy, I want you to take care of this young lady's arm. Also, my pipe. Sissy, toss me an apple... and keep her talking. I need to speak to dad about... Something." His siblings obey, likely because they would have done so and would rather be here taking care of you.

Chip bites a chunk of apple, munches, swallows and blows bubbles and apple bits through the toy pipe. He then folds his arms behind his back and stalks away, hunched over like a chicken looking for feed.
>>
No. 549612 ID: c91c51

(Before I continue with moar wall of text, please remind me of any suggestions I seemed to have forgotten, ignored or failed to address.)
>>
No. 549614 ID: 36c336

Pickpocket watch: Chip has been near us. Double check that all possessions and items of clothing are still present and where they're supposed to be. Also make sure there's nothing extra--the dynamite likely was a fakeout and he has more toys still.
If he managed to do something anyway even with us being careful we should initiate plotting to put *him* in the peasant dress and pigtails he likes so much.

We may want to sit back down for the arrival of cousin party-pooper, just an idea.
>>
No. 549615 ID: 36c336

>>549612
We still haven't gotten started trying to find out if we really were born earlier today or not. Ref:

>>549027
>>
No. 549618 ID: fc937d

>>549556
Huh. Interesting set of symbology, but hardly enough for us to draw conclusions. Death is certainly one motif, and the connection between the concept of unity and the individual who greeted you should not go unnoticed.

>arm acting up again
Worrying. What is it you don't understand about your nature, and that they aren't telling you?

It seems to have something to do with your heritage, as they see to avoid the subject, and there have been several hints at a split or unusual parentage, starting with Unity's slip. (Pay attention to clues in that area).

Let them tend to your injury, but show a little more steel or strength. You're not going to let your first impression be letting... whatever this is get the better of you. Even if trying to put too much strength in before might have been the cause. Heh. Got to watch that, you suppose.

Continue to pay attention to what's said (and what's not, and what's avoided), and how your arm is treated. We've still got a lot to learn about what's going on here, and being observant will help.
>>
No. 549622 ID: 36c336

>>549618

If we want to be metagaming about it: I applied one cheat, and our current cheating skill score is zero so we suffered a critical cheating failure. Apparently even cheating is hard.

If we want to treat this more seriously, I'd say we're not even fully sure where the heck that burst of strength we used earlier came from, or how much we were responsible for it. Was it seidr, and if so was it our seidr?
>>
No. 549626 ID: d90912

>>546923
>>546958
>>546998
>>547952
>>548051
>>548054
>>549019
>>549027
>>549200
>>549206
>>549225
>>549443
>>549466
>>549614
>>549615
>>549618
>>549622


"Here's the dirt you wanted to dig up, Mac. I suggest you lock the office and shut the windows when you open it; it ain't pretty."
>>
No. 549627 ID: fc937d

>>549622
Well, I was just trying to put what we've deduced, OOC, in character.

From other people's reactions and conversation, Tory should have recognized that the others recognize or understand what happened with her arm, and that they know her parentage (and their have also been subtle hints about her mixed heritage). She should also recognize that the others have so far been avoiding talking about these subjects.

So we should be paying attention to figure out both the missing information, and the reason that the others seem uncomfortable with it.
>>
No. 549629 ID: 36c336

>>549627

Fair, but there's a reason why I wasn't doing that:
If they're trying to lie to her or conceal her heritage then they're intentionally deceiving her. We have to give them opportunities to tie themselves into knots keeping up an indefensible deception rather than look like we know things they'd rather we didn't know. This is why we should be really forthright about the subject, because if they're lying about it those lies will eventually collapse. I mean really, trying to lie to a trickery goddess is just not going to work long term.
>>
No. 549630 ID: 097017

>>549626
Huuu boy I've got my work cut out for me.

Writing...
>>
No. 549644 ID: 36c336

>>549626
Your list is a little overzealous, a number of the posts you reference were indirectly responded to.
For example there was the one where I was writing banter about the nature of the explosive Chip had, which presumed that its nature was unspecified. It was revealed that this was dynamite.
>>
No. 549823 ID: 097017
File 138542422584.jpg - (374.35KB , 956x1300 , Nickstradamus.jpg )
549823

>>549622
> Whats that? Hot-served magical apple whiskey? Hey, that sounds delicious. I'd like a serving of Hard Apple Seiðr!

Seiðr? Like sorcery and stuff? You look as Faan starts pouring a some sort of foamy spiced oil on your arm. Well, you might have meant to inject a surge of strength, but there was no method or ritual to it; nothing you could formally recognize as magic. It was more instinctual, reflexive to the force of your will--if you forced to make a conclusion you'd say that your body is having a hard time interpreting your divine nature.

Already you can feel the cool salve sink into your pores. At first it tickles, and then the feeling in your arm dulls. You might worry, but you consider it's probably some sort of painkiller. Actually smells a bit like wintergreen toothpaste--Minty. It's kinda nice actually. His thin, bony fingers knead your knotted muscles. He starts gently at first, almost imperceptibly. As he continues however, he let's you know that it's going to be a little painful. His fingers sink deeper into your aching sinews and it strikes a nerve. Ouch! A little painful, he says? "I know it hurts, right now it's just... ya know.. one of those... uh," he looks over to his sister "Necessary Evils?." She scowls, but says nothing. She probably knows he didn't mean it maliciously because his face says he was drawing a blank. He continues the massage with practiced motion, somehow knowing and seeking out exactly where (and where not) to press.

Well, you wouldn't call it evil, but you wished he would have giving you a little more warning. Despite the painful sensory feedback (or perhaps because of it) it still happens to be an enjoyable experience. Everything sensation and experience is wondrous and new to you, even though your mind seems to already have been formed on some irrecoverable experiences in your past... even though you aren't supposed to have any. Besides, having everything handed to you with a silver spoon wouldn't be fun at all. It's things like the pleasure/pain contrast that makes life interesting.

You sit back and relax (for the second time) and decide to chill and maybe gather some information as you wait for the Proper, Parentally Prescribed Party-Pooper Patrol to arrive. You close your eyes and an absolute deluge of priorities and tasks surge in your mind, and you need to get them into order before they drown you. What bothers you most is your inexplicable situation with these amiable strangers. That's what they are, you remind yourself. Maybe some relation exists, but there's something behind the smiling faces that doesn't put you at ease. Something that triggers evasion from those seemingly 'in the know' and confusion and concern in those who are apparently out of the loop. You should probably start out with some small talk first. You keep your eyes closed to fully appreciate the tactile sensations. This Faan fellow may not be much to look at and is probably a terrible conversationalist, but he sure knows how to give a massage.

"So why can't the little shit have bombs? They can't hurt us, can they?" Necessity responds. "Not really, mostly because with them he can be like, three times as annoying as usual." You play devil's advocate for some reason you can't put your finger. "Maybe he's just trying to entertain? Probably just part of his shtick." You open one eye to look over at her. "And what do you mean by 'not really'?" She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, he does a great job entertaining himself at our expense. Not really just means nothing permanent. Most of that kind of damage is superficial, but it's kind of unsettling to look at until it heals. Mostly he just makes messes in other people's space that I have to clean up." You toggle your open eye closed and peer at Faan for confirmation through the other. "Yup." He says, still rubbing your arm. By the time he's finished your arm hangs loosely from your shoulder. It feels comfortably numb. You try to lift it but it just wobbles back to your side, like jelly. It's a bit funny and nice, like these other 'kids'. You can't be perfectly sure, but they seem to be as oblivious about whatever's going on behind the scenes as you are. Necessity is quick to move into the space Faan vacates with a tailoring kit. Faan is already opposite of the table to you working on the rest of his meal. You're going to want to get on Mr. GoodWithHisHands' good side, especially if you ever get in a scrap. You'll probably try your best to resolve issues by smooth talking, but you never know how things will turn out--especially until you get those whatever those are under control.

You look over to Faan and try to be as charming as seems appropriate considering your supposed relation to him. "Thank you for that, it was very sweet." He nods and mutters an "mmphhhmmph." He gulps down some drink, then points to your plate. "You should probably get started on your plate if you want you build up your strength." You look down and your eyes shine with delight! It's--uhmn, that kind of food--you know, your favorite! What's it called again? Oh come on, you should know this!

> What is your favorite food?
> What is your least favorite food?

You take a bite with your good arm (it seems you're ambidextrous) and hum with satisfaction. "Mmmmmhmmmm!"

You think about these three young people you've met so far. Faan with is plain yet becoming features and those clear hickory eyes; Chip with his man-childish good looks, his antics and silvery hair (which didn't strike you as unusual until now considering your supernatural company); and then you look over at Necessity and her hard set, boyish features and freezing blue eyes focused on fixing your sleeve to better fit your new muscles. Your creeping smile shrinks only a little on that last thought; you probably should workout that other arm to balance it out. Still, you find yourself surrounded by lively, talented and good looking people. A little part of you hopes the trend keeps up. You lift the cup and take a sip of what turns out to be a warm, lightly alcoholic apple beverage. Maybe you were adopted, you muse, or forcibly kidnapped from some awful tyranny or ugly smelly giants to live in this fantasy of superpowers and pretty people. "Supposed relations." you repeat to yourself as you take another sip.


Look likes I've caved; Relationship simulator activated. Just promise me you won't go Paris Hilton or Miley Cyrus on me.

Wait... You place the cup and pat yourself down. Where's the box?! You think back to all the times you were touched, picked up, put down and walked over. Then a smug, smiling face fills your head.

Chip.

Oooh that little bastard was going to get it. Not now, but soon. "So I'm getting a little tired of waiting. Who's going to introduce the safety patrol?" you ask aloud, more than a little ticked that your daydreaming was interrupted by these turn of events.

A grim sullen speaks from directly behind you with a intonation that's not quite urban and a drawl that isn't rustic. He drags his speech with every terminating syllable. "Uhh, that would be me, and I prefer to introduce myself." You turn around in your seat to see a man dressed in black with cobalt eyes stare back. He's hunched over you like a vulture, and almost looks like a vampire with the widows peak he's rocking. "I'm Paradameus, and don't 'freak out' or anything, but I'm a wizard."

You can't quite place it, but you have the nagging feeling that you should know this person.
>>
No. 549824 ID: 7ed0c9

because there's no awkward conflict you can't fix with Nick Cage.
>>
No. 549837 ID: beeca1

>>549828
I don't give a shit whether or not porn happens. I admit I haven't done anything beyond skim this quest, but I'll be damned if I let the irrelevancy of my opinions stop me from posting them.
>>
No. 549839 ID: 097017

>>549828
Normally I would write some witty retort here, but frankly I'm too impressed you managed to get the words 'baby' and 'candy' in your pony name. ARE YOU A WIZARD TOO?

>>
No. 549841 ID: beeca1

>>549839
I suspect he noticed his ponychan name, chuckled, and noted it in case he ever got a chance to use taking candy from a baby. Still pretty funny.
>>
No. 549856 ID: 36c336

"Well then, pleased to meet you Magus Paradameus. You wouldn't happen to know about how to track what happened to a little box that was given to me earlier that has mysteriously vanished, would you?"

Faan may be good with his hands but he's our nephew apparently, and I really wouldn't suggest hurrying to join the banjo-playing, toothless brigade.
What we should concentrate on now is finding what happened to our first 'birthday gift,' and dealing out appropriate retribution: Unless my suspicions are off we have a conspiracy to dress Chip in pigtails and a dress to launch.
>>
No. 549943 ID: 097017
File 138549833432.jpg - (186.33KB , 640x360 , Nic-Cage.jpg )
549943

>>549856
> What is this, Deliverance? It's a good thing for you that in all the ethnicity I've got, West Carolinian Scotch-Irish isn't one of them. ?:^P Tia was referring you as her 'sister' in a sort of formal welcomi sense (goddess of hospitality and all that)--I almost had her hand you a pineapple or something.

His grim expression lifts and brightens.

"Magus? Hohohoho!"
>>
No. 549955 ID: 097017
File 138551085505.jpg - (119.80KB , 500x375 , bangkokdangerousb.jpg )
549955

"Magi are those fancy-pansy stargazing fire-worshipers from the middle east. Vitki or Druid would be a more accurate term. No, I'm just your average run-of-the-mill manwitch. However, such formalities are not necessary with me. In a ritual, maybe, but right now you may Paradameus, but there are those who call me... 'RAD'." He strikes a dramatic pose and wiggles his fingers with eldritch purpose.

You wrinkle your nose with amusement. Why were the other two so put out? This guy is great! Wait, whats that on his hand? Some sort of engraved gauntlet? "Oh, so you've noticed my latest trinket, eh? I had help from this little brainiac here." He playfully shoves Nessie, his face maintains the resumed stoic deadpan. She keeps working on your sleeve as she makes a dour un-smirk, but says nothing. He proceeds; "I call it the RuneGlove. I love it cause it's so... bad." You continue to give a wry smile.

He looks into your eyes past his half closed lids. "Oh, I see. I didn't mean to interrupt anything. Please, go ahead with your planned 'family fun time'. Who knows you may be adopted after all."

It dawns on you--Now you understand why the other two were so bothered by the idea of Rad the Wizard dropping by for a visit; he's a mind reader.

You need to shut him up, or change the subject or something... But he does it for you, and the others didn't seem to notice. "But what kind of box are we talking about?"

You describe it to him, the approximate dimensions, the color, and the designs etched into it, all the while conjuring the image in your head. He puts a metallic finger on his chin. "Hmmm..." he says. He reaches under his cloak and produces...

:BOX:

"My box! Oh thank--"

"This is my box."

"Pardon?"

"I think you might have been given one of these. This is a pact chest. Do you know what these do?"
"No." you say, giving him a shining stare of wonder. "What?" He widens his eyes and leans in close to your ear, and you turn your head to accommodate him. "Magic!" he whispers enigmatically. He gets the stink eye from you. He looks over the table at Faan. "Hey kid. Got the records you were asking for. Took forever to copy properly." He opens the box and pulls out a scroll of parchment much larger than it should be able to contain. "Keep up the better end of the bargain, eh?" Paradameus then pulls out another and hands it to you. "I'd be thinking you'd want one to."

"I don't know," you say, "What is it?"
>>
No. 549956 ID: 097017

(open it! open it!)
>>
No. 549959 ID: fd6ae9

>Supposed relations
Not necessarily a bad thing though. Just because there's the chance that these people aren't exactly what they claim, doesn't mean you necessarily oppose them.

>open box?
Now, you're sure that one isn't mine? You wouldn't be trying to trick me into opening it early? Or sneaking in the first gift?

Assuming he passes our scheming check, I don't see why we can't peek.

>missed getting pick-pocketed
Really gotta work on slight of hand and that kind of thing. Should be able to avoid that.
>>
No. 549968 ID: d7b500

I'm thinking let's play by wispy voice's rules, and stay safe. It's not that we don't have power-we just don't know what we can even DO yet-let's not mess with that box early-there could be a reason, an important one, that we were told not to open that box right away.
>>
No. 549989 ID: 36c336

If I had to guess what's up with the box, it's a method of storage and/or sending and that is why we were told not to open it until it was time for the birthday gifts.
With that hypothesized: We weren't given a user manual or even the two sentence nutshell so I could be very wrong. Even if I'm right about *a* thing it can do that may not be all.

If we're being deliberately informal here I've got some things to ask: Hey Vitki non-specific-relation-person named P, I heard a nasty rumour that seidr is supposed to be a woman thing. S'up with that?

I'm also confused by the 'family' declarations here, a pantheon is usually strictly blood relatives unless you have a corporate merger or mortals promoted from mortality involved. Even in those cases everyone's still usually an in-law at least I figured. How does it work here?
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No. 550107 ID: 097017
File 138560227576.jpg - (252.95KB , 853x480 , noshitshwarlock.jpg )
550107

> Sorry for the lateness, been working in thanksgiving dinner for tomorrow. Fudgebunnying tamales are going to take all fudgebunnying night and empanadas are going to take all fudgeblugeoning morning.

>>549989
>>549968
>>549959

>Now, you're sure that one isn't mine? You wouldn't be trying to trick me into opening it early? Or sneaking in the first gift?

"Clever gel. I suppose I should have expected as much. I guess you'll never find out the thrilling mystery of the UNOPENED BOX." You pout a little. "Well, If you opened it and let me peek..." He wags a finger at you. "Tut tut tut, this isn't a peepshow little girl; you either stay or go all the way. I suppose I just ought to save this for another time." He puts the box back in the box and the box somewhere under his cloak.



> Hey Vitki non-specific-relation-person named P, I heard a nasty rumour that seidr is supposed to be a woman thing. S'up with that?

He gives you an extremely sardonic look. "Really? I haven't heard that one, not at all. I mean, I grew up practicing my mother's craft in a very open-minded, liberal and supportive community. It's not like I got beat up everyday for being argr until the village burned down or anything like that." Like a rubber band, the elasticity of his face springs itself to it's neutral expression with the force that he held taut. "But seriously, that tends to be the case. I mean everybody expects you to have a beard an a woolly chest by the time you're thirteen where I came from. Anything more intellectual than raping, pillaging and eating the toes of your fallen victims' children makes you a girly-man. I did not think that was 'best in life', so I decided to learn how to take those fighting words into a holmgang. I worked out, developed mad skillz and learned how to fry a dude's eggs and sausage from thirty paces. It's a little move I like to call 'breakfast in your pants'. Everyone pretty much left me alone after that."

>>549615
>>549027

You decide that you want answers, but you don't want to ruffle anyone's feathers or cause undue alarm for your younger friends. After some thought, you realize that thought itself is the best way to ask your question. You look at Paradameus and you think your question. //So what's really going on? I mean with the exception of Faan these kids barely look older than I am, and somehow I'm their younger cousin? I don't even remember yesterday and yet Faan here has been around long enough to be a proper god in his own right. How does that add up? Am I really part of this 'family', or was I a kidnapped infant who traded places with some changeling? // He just stares back. "What, is there something on my face?"

Odd. You think harder at him. "This is a staring contest? 'Cause if it is you don't have a chance; I haven't blinked for the last thirty years." You frown with frustration. You almost give up and shout your question at his face before he stops you; "Now I see what you're getting at. I suggest you pay close attention to Faan's pet project over there."

You look over at the scroll that he's now unfurled in front of him. You see a bunch of words that have lines pointing to other words... Oh, It's a family tree!
>>
No. 550112 ID: fd6ae9

>Kidnapped changing?
I'll reiterate that's not necessarily a bad thing. It certainly changes things, of course, but doesn't mean say, we need to turn on them, or run, or owe allegiance to someone else. It's not as if anyone has a choice in their family, after all.

>Oh, It's a family tree!
Well, time to pay attention.
>>
No. 550115 ID: 36c336

"Thank you kindly for your patience then Paradameus. At some point when I'm sufficiently less exasperated I'll try to return the favour. Is there anything you'd like to talk about, or would that just be a bad joke thanks to a certain talent of yours?"

Don't crowd cousin Faan too much, but if that is a genealogy chart I would be fairly interested in a copy.
>>
No. 550118 ID: d7b500

Remember-a good wizard isn't just powerful, but he can be subtle when he wants to be. Pay that guy close attention in his actions, and be wary of him.
Soooo for now? Check out dat family tree!
>>
No. 550213 ID: d90912

>>549556
> Being Born In Maw of the Beast

I guess that would make her a... DRAGON-BORN.
*shades and you know the rest*

>>550107
Hmm. Maybe he cant quite read minds, but uses some other power to mimic the ability and make people think that.
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No. 550217 ID: 097017
File 138570280121.jpg - (547.65KB , 3703x1359 , Góðrsveit Family Tree.jpg )
550217

>>550118
> But he's not a good wizard, he's a bad wizard.

>>550115
"Aah, don't mind me, I just like like being a dick. for a girl who wasn't even born yesterday, you did manage to learn a lot." You're not convinced. You think about asking him to elaborate and address your doubts. "Well, it's a term we use for a new whatever we are. Sometimes its a proper birth; they pop out of momma's loins in nasty, fleshy, purple cabbage leaves only to be peeled out and plucked from the vine. Some of us, however, are born a little differently. Like me and you, apparently, some of us had a sort of life before. It's either reincarnation, apotheosis or both."

>>550115
>>549856
>>/questdis/78043
> It was argued so diligently that now she's got the idea stuck in her head--which means she's going to perceive information through that paradigm filter. You'll find her focusing on events that she could rationalize supports such a theory and will likely misinterpret people's motivations and get her messages mixed as a result. still you can make decisions that move away and minimize that train of thought in hopes that it will wither and die without her continued attention.

Nessie has finished with your sleeve and has just bitten off the thread. She looks over her handiwork. "Well, its not my best, but it should serve well enough as a rough patch-job so long as nobody looks too close at it." You can hardly tell it had ever been ripped, no matter how close you look at it. You sense she would not favor what she would consider undue praise, so after moving your arm about and flexing its impressive yet shapely fibers (which gives you quite a bit of satisfaction, especially when the corner of her mouth and one of full eyebrows perk up) you simply say, "Thank you! It works wonderfully." You decide to walk over to the other side of the table and peer over Faan's shoulder at the documents he's reviewing. There are several smaller scrolls, parchments and books he's assorted in front of himself, cross-referencing them between mouthfuls--but it's the large family map that has your attention. You make a point of not crowding him to Paradameus and yourself, but you can't help but feel a little flutter of excitement and... a less pleasant sensation. It's like the soft wing beats of a butterfly stirring in your chest while a stone sits heavily just beneath, churning uncomfortably within you. You tell yourself the whole idea is something silly, only to be indulged in your spare time if ever. If Paradameus knows your thoughts, he's choosing not to show it; he's busying himself by filing the nails of his naked hand. You look back at the chart which, by the measure of the unopened roll kept at bay by a coastered cup, must be immense, but it seems the trunk of the tree and it's lower limbs is what interests you and Faan.
>>
No. 550218 ID: 097017

(It's huge for some reason, just open it in another page/tab.)
>>
No. 550230 ID: 36c336

Countless, eh? I guess they don't like to do it the 'Greek' way then.
So we're an isolated, unconnected island somewhere on that chart? Scary, and interesting if so. I'm also wondering how far back the John that Avid Johnson comes from is.

Be careful what you're thinking even when it isn't being read Ms. Tory. Love at first sight generally means awkward fumbling until crash as people fail to communicate adequately and establish common understanding of what their relationship means to each other. Start with hello and asking him what he likes to do for fun at some point when he's not obsessively busy with something else, and find out if he even likes girls before you start fantasizing too deeply eh?

I'm sure that Paradameus is wondering why we seem to have as much of a concept of what to do and what is going on as we do here. Hopefully this explanation should work for him:
"I hear many whispers of past and future troublemakers. Once in a while they whisper something that isn't completely daft and I pay attention. If Chip has this same power I think it would explain much."
>>
No. 550236 ID: fd6ae9

Well, if Tia's our sister, and her children are our cousins, that at least clues us in to which branch of that tree we're supposed to be tied into.

Somewhat a small grouping to fit the size of the hall and crowd described here, though.

>flutter, silly
Very silly. You hardly know anyone here, and we have so many things to learn, and figure out, and manipulate. Such games will have to wait till later, if we decide to act on them at all. We can ill afford to let ourself be so distracted or manipulated at this time.

>mindreading
I don't really see it as a problem. It's another interesting game to play, a thing to work with. We're already playing with word, and nuance and action, adding thought to the mix doesn't change the nature of the dance, it just makes it more complex.
>>
No. 550429 ID: 097017

>>550230
> By 'Greek way' do you mean "taps everything that moves?"

>>550236
> Looks like the questers' true opinions are to put ol' Fluttersly down. (queue montage of all the good times we've had with Fluttersly.) *tears flow from eyes obscured by a red poké-baseball cap.* This weeks episode: Goodbye, Fluttersly!

> Still, be careful what you wish for and what you say in the story thread, the wrong ears are always listening! Next time put fun comments in spoilers or green-quotes or anything that clearly marks it as a comment rather than a suggestion.

>>/questdis/78121
> A Cow says: What I'm left with is a responsibility to provide useful relationship advice to a woman that hears voices in her head. (Which is likely to be a whole lot of no, no, never, no, you're too irresponsible to be a mother, no, and no.)

> My response: Isn't that a lot like life, though? Thoughts just pop in your head and eventually you have to sit down beside yourself and help your brain with filing the inbox; telling it which ones are important, which ones are bills and which ones are ads to throw in the trash.

>>550236
> see: >>549943 and >>550217. First link explains relation with Tia, second explains that the family tree is actually much, much larger. I only showed you this bit of the tree because (1) the online service limits how many objects can be in any given chart unless you pay the subscription, (2) The resulting image would be huger-er and (3) it's the bottom of the tree and the only part with people you would recognize therefore it is the most relevant section. Also note that not all the people here are family; some are servants, messengers, angels, followers, disciples, friends and a few co-workers.
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No. 550433 ID: fd6ae9

>spitting image of your father
A father who doesn't seem in any particular hurry to introduce himself, it would seem.

(Might as well push lightly on the question of parentage, since he gave us such an easy opening).

>you need to tweak your thoughts to suggest you're about to speak aloud before he appears to recognize them
Interesting. I wonder if that's actually a limitation of his abilities, or if he's choosing to only acknowledged thoughts that reach a certain level. (It could quickly get overwhelming paying attention to every chaotic noise in everyone's head- let alone respond to all of it. People might also be more comfortable with a mind reader who appears limited, or who only responds when you want him to).

>just part of being human
Interesting. I wasn't sure that we were.
>>
No. 550437 ID: 36c336


>>550425
One of the simpler, effective methods of birth control. Fairly common slang. http://uk.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=greek


>"Can't say I know for fact if you are blood related to us, but I'll tell you right now you are the spitting image of you're father right down to the dimples on your cheeks."

My's father? My's?! My... is!?!
"Okay, that does it. The next person to talk about my is father without supplying necessary details will be grabbed by the neck and shaken severely. I can handle people waving my family history that I should know about like a red flag in front of me, I can handle bad grammar, but both at once is too far!"

>"That's called a conscience, hun. Whether it's a good or a bad one I can't say, but it's standard issue; just part of being human."

Oh man, is Paradameus picking fights with Quest? Gutsy.
>>
No. 550751 ID: 097017

You decide to clarify you're situation and interest in the subject in your mind, expecting him to pick up the message. As before, you need to tweak your thoughts to suggest you're about to speak aloud before he appears to recognize them.

> There are voices in my head and they tell me to do things... bad things.

"That's called a conscience, hun. Whether it's a good or a bad one I can't say, but it's standard issue; just part of being human." He pauses to scratch his soul patch with a metal fingernail. "Although, that is an attractive way to describe it--it has an appeal...Actually," his brow furrows, "That would explain a lot about people if that were the case. Hold on a sec..." He pulls out a stone tablet and etches a few notes on it with a steel fingernail.

"Human?" you query. "Didn't realize we were." Paradameus shrugs as he returns the slab back into the bag with the box. "Well, I'm not saying gods are just powerful mortals, or that mortals are infant gods or anything like that. But there's too many similarities we share that many beings like us choose to ignore or pretend aren't there. I mean, we wouldn't be able to interbreed if there weren't some key elements in both groups." You cock your head and process the information. "I see."

"Well, speaking of breeding, I'm still having trouble finding myself here. I suppose if Tia is my sister and her children are my cousins, that should at least clue me in to which branch I belong to." You pause then attach a mental note. 'Somewhat a small grouping for the crowd gathered here.' you almost say.

"Tia was being formal, the way she used 'sister' was something of an honorific rather than a literal hereditary relation. It's kind of like how Christians call each other 'brother' and 'sister'." You lift your brow in surprise. "Christians? I didn't imagine they would even be in the picture here. It's weird that I even know what you're talking about, actually. What year is it?" He shrugs. "We're not too diligent in that regard. We get up a little after the sun does, party a little into the night after sundown then hit the sack and start again. Somebody's job here is to watch the clock, but I keep forgetting who." You are baffled. "Gods believing in... other gods? Weird." Paradameus nods sagely. "Yeah. You might not believe it, but some of the people here actually subscribe to the idea there is something bigger than themselves, though I think Unity's the only Christian here. Catholic, if memory serves." You are still in disbelief. "Really? That's... I find that insurmountably odd." His head continues to bob in agreement. "Oh yeah, he was a die-hard Jacobite too--even fought on Culloden's field. Died there too, I think..."

You shake your head slowly. "That doesn't seem right. It makes me a little uncomfortable, actually." he is quick to reassure you. "Oh, nonono, he's a great guy and he's never pushy about it. The topic actually makes him a little more than 'a little uncomfortable', truth be told. He'd rather talk about what people have in common than what makes him weird."

"I'll say." you respond. 'Rad continues: "Anyway he just likes to be really Scottish more than anything. Most the time he runs around naked just cause it's faster for him to get stuff done. I mean you should see him when he's properly dressed; big, burly, furry, ruby-chested highlander with a dagger in his socks, claymore at his back and nothing to hide under his kilt."
>>
No. 550753 ID: 30187e

>>550751
Comment [Whaaat. Soemthing's wrong with this picture. First off Augustave is apparently Italian (and we all know how much the ancient celts loved the Roman empire walking allover them) but I figured due to his description he was a half-breed, so I let it slide. But now they have a Catholic in their group, apparently in a position of influence if we give that banner any thought. That's like, two symbols of opression sitting across the table. Why aren't they at each-other's throats? Somethings not right... this is too... IDK. Smells really fishy to me.]
>>
No. 550756 ID: 097017

> Okay, merged missing post with the one right after and then split them into three. That makes this officially the second-to-last post of the year. Gives you some time to puzzle on the apparent weirdness and seemingly inconsistent quirks of this storyline.

> Also on my misuse of your/you're: They're speaking here, silly. It's not like you can vocalize the nuances that separate them phonetically; there are no differences in how they are pronounced! (not to my knowledge, anyway.)
--

As much as you can appreciate the imagery, you would rather turn the topic to something else. You return to the original topic of your heritage as you make steps to leave that unsettling topic behind.

"Well we're just looking at the bottom of the tree," he responds, "the section that has the most relevance to us it seems. Faan here is interested to learn about hereditary traits and diseases that are passed down; he's trying to re-discover DNA and reinvent the wheel under different circumstances. Kind of an exercise in redundancy if you ask me. With respect to the size of the group and your interest in where you fit in this tangled mess... you can see here," he points to the massive furled coil on one end of the chart, "we aren't looking at the whole thing. Most of the people here are servants, co-workers, stooges or our 'friendly' neighbors. We pretty much invited everybody that would have been offended, crashed the party and tried to curse you otherwise."

"I appreciate the forethought, but you said 'most relevant to us'. You know me and Faan's interest in this document; what's yours?" He shifts his eyes around for a bit and his metal fingernail starts raking his little tuft of fur with a passion... but he answers you with some fraction of honesty. "I go over this stuff for... sentimental reasons." You don't press him further, but you make a note there might be a trail of dirt he might have left for you to dig into. "So, here you are," you point to his name (which he evidently changed after birth.) "Where am I? Would I even be on this chart considering my... (special?) circumstances?"

"As best as I can guess you'd be right here in this lower section, but since you haven't been fully initiated yet we keep you off the books. Can't say I know for fact if you are blood related to us, but I'll tell you right now you are the spitting image of you're father right down to the dimples on your cheeks. For a while there I was tempted to believe you were just him dressed in drag. Even up close, it's still hard to put the thought completely to rest. I mean, it's not like it would have been the first time, either..."

> A father who doesn't seem in any particular hurry to introduce himself, it would seem. (Might as well push lightly on the question of parentage, since he gave us such an easy opening).

> My's father? My's?! My... is!?! "Okay, that does it. The next person to talk about my is father without supplying necessary details will be grabbed by the neck and shaken severely. I can handle people waving my family history that I should know about like a red flag in front of me, I can handle bad grammar, but both at once is too far!"

You make a face. "Again? Again with the 'Imma talk about chour daddy' right in front of me but not actually tell me about him? I swear, the next person who so much as enunciates the first syllable of 'father', 'dad' or 'papa' without actually saying anything important is going to get his neck wrung and plucked bare of both kinds of hair. I'm serious! If I'm going to have to play 'ignorant housewife' you better pray you aren't the chicken I'm making for dinner.
>>
No. 550763 ID: 097017
File 138619994198.jpg - (50.61KB , 295x168 , hahahaButseriously.jpg )
550763

> Last post of the the year.
--


It seems Paradameus is almost as easily amused as Chip is. But now it isn't about indulging other's sense of humor, now is the time for indulging your sense of revenge. You perk your head up, lift your arms in a questioning gesture and look side to side. "Where is the old goat anyway? Deadbeat sires a girl and doesn't even bother enough to show up at her birthday party?" You sink your claws into the woodwork of the table in front of you. "Point him out when you see him so I can do worse than just break his neck, pluck his feathers and roast him alive." Paradameus chuckles and shakes his head. "Nails almost as sharp as your wit, just like--" You stare at him twice as wide eyed and manically as he did in response to your quip about chicks having all the magic. You lift one and and stretch it in his direction. "Go ahead," you taunt. "Say it. See what happens!" He stops himself, chortles again and addresses you frankly. "Well, you're welcome to do that and more to him if you find him, but you'd have to dig him out from under six feet." Again, his face resumes a very serious posture. "You see, he's dead."

You pull back your razor-tipped hand and timidly lay it in your lap. "oh. I-... I didn't realize... I should have guessed that..." Your posture droops after hearing the news. That's why he hasn't shown up yet, and that's why he never will.

No wait--these are gods we're talking about. Isn't there some sort of afterlife? Paradameus shakes his head and points to the pendant hanging around his neck. It's the man in the moon, but instead of it's craters representing the fleshed eyes and mouth, they're the open chambers of eye sockets and a gaping skeletal mouth. "See, that's my side of the family's forte. We serve death, not the other way around. We get glimpses of what leads us and others to that fate, not what happens after. I'm afraid, like mortals, we are as in the dark about that as they are."
>>
No. 550799 ID: 36c336

"Interesting that my paternal parentage is revealed but not my maternal somehow. You'd tend to think that the question of my mother would be more definitely known, all things being relatively normal. Is that what you were talking about with your vague murmuring about my father wearing a wig?
"Also, please, I could use a thumbnail sketch just how much unfinished business will be ambushing me in a dark alleyway, a well lit social milieu, a quiet little law-office, or wherever else from either side of my background."

"I'm also interested in whether the reference floats or sinks were I to ask Master P here to say, 'Unnh.' Really, it's like I have an incredibly expansive encyclopedia filled mostly with daft time-wasting just behind my consciousness."
>>
No. 550832 ID: fd6ae9

>He's dead
...I should still know of him, though.

Although perhaps now isn't the best time to learn who your one time father was. That'll be on the to-do list.
>>
No. 554693 ID: ec84e4
File 138864199259.png - (261.84KB , 1050x840 , mBXIZVF.png )
554693

--
...Much Time Passes...
--

I'm in a bed in a place I don't recognize. Although my temperate posture doesn't show it feels like someones playing pinball full tilt in my head. I was woken up by a vibration under my shirt, which ended up being that box... It shakes every half minute or so like it's trying to remind me of something. The relative position of the sun outside tells me its mid-morning or mid-afternoon. I know there was some sort of party last night, but everything is a complete blur. Also I think I was born yesterday but nobody knows who my mother is and that doesn't make any sense.
>>
No. 554704 ID: 379075

Nice bedhead.
Seriously, the last time we heard anything about that box we weren't supposed to open it until a particular time, so perhaps we're better off pulling ourself together and investigating where we are, perhaps finding some breakfast if that seems like a fair idea.
>>
No. 554741 ID: 1e9bd6

Well, that was jarring.

Looks like you may have to work on your alcohol tolerance, among other things.

And we somehow got the box back from Chip, too. You aren't supposed to open the box till someone else had the chance of giving you the first gift. Can you remember if that happened, yet?
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