3/4 Buckwheat 2024/07/21(Sun)17:59 No. 1094599 ID: 15a025
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The front door slams open, a very muscular bear with a mask is standing on my porch.

4/4 Buckwheat 2024/07/21(Sun)17:59 No. 1094600 ID: 15a025
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He has my ax.

Step 1: Ask him to put the ax down.
Step 2: Flash your tits.
Step 3: Bolt for Gretchen.
Step 4: Escape out the window.

That stew is scalding hot. You can probably just throw the stew at him, drench him in it

Did the other masked dude even react to injury? Burns might not work. You probably have other items you could use here, like throwing pots and pans at him.
The axe is a problem though; if he swings that at you, you need to either not get hit, or put something sturdy between you and him.

You should call for help from George, and look around for something to trip the masked man up, like some oil or something else he'd trip on like a bunch of marbles.

>>1094603
stew blinding is a good plan, but you'll need to wait till he approaches close enough.

>>1094603
This
.
Back away.
Let him get close,
then its dinner time!
And while hes reeling, beat him around the head with any pan you have.
Just imagine hes george in those angry fantasies you sometimes have thatd youd never really do.

He has your axe!

Hold a pan for defense, as it will probably make for a better shield than nothing, even if it is an axe.

Picture these weirdos as the football players and that awful, awful Patrick Stagg from that stinkin' ESDN that keeps your husband hooked to the boob tube.

Then grab the boiling pot.

He has your axe? Your axe, that you gave to Gretchen? How did he get it, where did she put it?

If he's that prime a specimen, you'll have to fight smarter, not harder. Scalding him might give you a second, but it won't stop him, especially if these maskers can shrug off things that would make most people recoil. You're burning the wood you recovered in that stove, right? Would it be worth it to try setting the intruder on fire?

>>1094708
And risk getting the house on fire? Not smart. Scalding him with the stew is a good way to get him to stop for a moment. After that, I don't know, shove a poker in his neck? The biggest knife we can find? Even if he's tough as shit, boiling stew is boiling stew.

1/5 Buckwheat 2024/07/31(Wed)18:21 No. 1095066 ID: 15a025
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>He has your axe? Your axe, that you gave to [Gretta]? How did he get it, where did she put it?

I needed it to chop wood for the stove! Must have left it outside when I was done.

>Hold a pan for defense, as it will probably make for a better shield than nothing, even if it is an axe.

I start slowly backing up to the stove. Pan…pan…where’s the pan!

The crazed bear roars and starts charging at me!

2/5 Buckwheat 2024/07/31(Wed)18:21 No. 1095067 ID: 15a025
File 172247531572.png - (5.59KB , 800x400 , 47.png )

>That stew is scalding hot. You can probably just throw the stew at him, drench him in it
>stew blinding is a good plan, but you'll need to wait till he approaches close enough.

I grab the pot of hot stew and toss the whole thing at him!

There’s a grizzly snarl of pain, but he’s still holding onto the ax.

3/5 Buckwheat 2024/07/31(Wed)18:22 No. 1095068 ID: 15a025
File 172247534099.png - (252.83KB , 500x500 , 48.png )

>Bolt for Gretta.
>Escape out of the window.

Crawling up and out the window is too slow and awkward. There’s the back door though!

I dash to the living room, grab Gretta by the arm, and exit out the back.

4/5 Buckwheat 2024/07/31(Wed)18:23 No. 1095069 ID: 15a025
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Gretchen: “George! George get down here we need to leave!”

George: “Damn straight we do! Some delinquent drug addict busted my antenna! Get in the truck, I’ll be right down.”

Gretchen: “Well hurry there’s-“

George: “Yeah I know! There’s not enough time to drive into town to catch the end of the game.”

HE'S STILL WORRIED ABOUT THAT F- You know what, as long as it gets him to drive us into town I won’t argue. I don't care.

5/5 Buckwheat 2024/07/31(Wed)18:27 No. 1095070 ID: 15a025
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We make a run for the truck.
Gretchen: “You’ll have to sit in the middle Gretta, It’s a bit too tight of a squeeze for me to sit next to George.”

We buckle in and hear another gun shot echo in the distance.

Gretchen: “George?!”

George: “I’M COMING!”

a few moments later he gets in and starts the truck.

George: “What, are all the thieves coming out of the wood works today or something? First they steal my wood, then they try to steal the antenna, and then some bear is helping himself to our dinner. Shot him too by the way. Oh, and you forgot to put out the stove. Took care of that for ya too.”

Gretchen: “For the love- step on it George!”

George: “Yeah yeah, I’m going. Get the radio on, maybe I can at least listen to what happens.”

Gretta: “So…where are we go-“

George: “Quite!”

Radio: “-Slight delay in the game. Gerald D. Antler’s antlers punctured the last football on field. The team’s are currently waiting for the replacement ball to be delivered.”

George: “Oh yes! YES! We just might make it in town to catch the end after all.”

Gretchen: “George, don’t you think-“

George: “Oh right, it’s your turn to pick the bar or restaurant we go to. They gotta have a tv though!”

Oh for the love of- well, maybe at least we can get a meal or something out of this. It'll be nice to have someone else do the cooking for once. What kind of bar or restaurant should we go to?

How about that castle themed sports bar in the strip mall? The one with those ridiculous crenelations on top. And it's right next to the gun store too.

How about that one bar your friend Virgil works at? They sometimes has a band playing music over there, hopefully they'll have people playing after the game ends. Plus you havent seen virgil in awhile. Does he still work there?

Okay seriously I think your husband has brain damage
Maybe you can live at The Gretchens' for a while.

>Diner
The It's Al(an)-Wake Eggs
24-hour small cafe; egg breakfasts and breakfast burritos are always available, or you get a coupon for ice cream.

Is George always ignorantly unaware of things like this, or is he just that obsessed?

Does George maybe have some kind of mental or behavioral or neurological condition? ... Or with your luck, he does, but it's one doctors won't have a name for, for decades, probably?

>>1095070
Hes so invested in this game.

Say.

George hasnt got a bet riding on this, has he?

1/3 Buckwheat 2024/08/10(Sat)23:11 No. 1095686 ID: 15a025
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>Does George maybe have some kind of mental or behavioral or neurological condition?
No, normally he’s just a wonderful hard working husband. You’d never know that though if you sat with him for Sunday night football.

>How about that castle themed sports bar in the strip mall?
Gretchen: “How about we go to that castle themed sports bar at the strip mall? You know, the one with the really good crouton salads.”

My stomach is growling just thinking about it.

George: “Hey! For once I can agree. Mead there is pretty good.”

Gretta: “A-aren’t you the driver though?”

Gretchen: “Yeah George, or are you actually going to let me drive the truck for once.”

George: “Ah that’s what taxis are for!”

2/3 Buckwheat 2024/08/10(Sat)23:12 No. 1095687 ID: 15a025
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After narrowly escaping a speeding ticket, we arrive at the mall and head to Shattered Helmet Keep. Despite the old nerdy castle theme, they have a few tvs up on the wall with various sports channels playing. George’s attention snaps over to the one airing the home game.”

>Hes so invested in this game. Say. George hasnt got a bet riding on this, has he?
Gretchen: “Say George. You’re a little more invested in this football game than normal. Perhaps….financially invested?”

George: “What, like stocks in the team? I ain’t no wolf a wall street.”

My tone takes a stern shift.
Gretchen: “George, how much money is riding on this game?”

George: “I ain’t bet nothing.”

Gretchen: “Don’t lie to me George. How much did you bet?”

George: ”termemrhm- hundred.”

Gretchen: “Quit mumbling and spit it out!”

George: “THREE HUNDERED!”

Gretchen: “W- what. What were you thinking! That’s two house payments! H- how-could-you- I.”

George: “Now you’re the one mumbling.”

Gretchen: “George, we can’t recover from a loss like that! If you lose this bet, we’re going to lose our house!”

George: “Now you listen here! This is the home team playing on the home field against the second worst team of the season. It’s is the most guaranteed bet anyone could have ever made in their life.”

I cannot believe what I am hearing right now.

3/3 Buckwheat 2024/08/10(Sat)23:13 No. 1095688 ID: 15a025
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A server walks over and interrupts us.

Gallop: “Uh, hi I’m Gallop, I’ll be your server today. Is there anything I-“

Gretchen: “Nows really not a good time ma’am.“

Gallop: “Ah-that’s okay. I’ll check back in a few minutes then.”

Yes, and in a few minutes I’ll be finding out if we’re going to be homeless. What can I even say or do at this point? What if he is right though and the team does win?

I don’t know what to do.

tell your husband if his team loses, you're divorcing and moving back to mother's. you're tired of his shit.

this because he has to know how much of a stupid decision he is doing, and has to know for sure what he is losing so he doesn't pull this again.

Oh dear, for lots of reasons. Gambling, for one. But…

Second worst? He didn’t bet on the first worst, did he?

Also, he tried to lie to you. That’s the absolute most horrible part.

If it's that much of a sure bet then the odds must be terrible. Just how much would he make if he wins?

>>1095687
If he loses, you're getting a divorce and moving into Gretchen pad as her maid.

Nononono you're not angry! You're the angry deer wife! how could this happen this is a disaster!

>>1095688
Im sorry to be right.

It does explain a lot though.
Not the forest crazies but the, uh, im mentally gesturing in the vague direction of george.

Eat a salad.
You need energy whatever happens and you could check on greta.

Try not to get invested in the game.
He'll interpret it as support.
Distract yourself with gretta.
Win or lose, you have every reason to be angry about this but however it plays out, knowing the stakes, george and you wont be able to navigate those rapids just yet.
So, talk to gretta.
Ask if she wants to go home or does she have reasons to stay away.
Youre not going to make her do something she doesnt want to but youre not going to stop helping her now of all tines.

Thrte is a little self preservation here though.
Losing yourself in someone elses problems can help distract you from your own.
Not healthy to do long term but in this moment it might just stop you seeing if any of the decorative weapons in this medieval funpub are functional enough to geld a reckless husband.

>>1095688
That's a pretty shitty thing to do, innit? I'm not so sure about divorce, since that usually just ends...like a whole other mess. But uh, pretty bad, no?

>>1095692
>>1095696
Maybe not full on divorce if he's normally a good enough husband, but definitely stay at mothers (without him) until he gets the house back if he loses and we end up homeless.

I guess it's a weird comparison, but you know that one guy from Season 2 of Kaiji? He gambled away his house, so his wife and daughter basically just fucked off until he got it back and they resumed being a family.

>>1095703
yeah, good point. But yeah, you're still staying at mothers until he fixes things himself. Be prepared to have mother say things like "I told you so"

>>1095703

Separate bank accounts would be an idea. That and having only her name on the deed of whatever housing they can get. If he's got a gambling problem, setting boundaries is important, but it doesn't mean you have to leave him.

1/4 Buckwheat 2024/08/11(Sun)19:25 No. 1095713 ID: 15a025
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>Second worst? He didn’t bet on the first worst, did he?
I don’t even want to know.

>tell your husband if his team loses, you're divorcing
>If he loses, you're getting a divorce
Gretchen: “George I hope you realize the stakes in this game are about to get a lot higher.”

George: “Seeing the easy chance to make some cash yourself too eh?”

I take off my earrings.

George: “What are you doing with your wedding rings?”

Gretchen: “Now our marriage is on the line. If your team loses this game, I’m leaving. We’re getting divorced and I’ll- I don’t even know where I’ll go. I hope it was worth it George. Come on Gretta, lets go sit elsewhere and get something to eat.”

2/4 Buckwheat 2024/08/11(Sun)19:26 No. 1095714 ID: 15a025
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We find a booth and Gretta waves the server over.

Gallop: “Oh hello again! All set to order now?”

Gretchen: “Yeah, can I have one of those crouton salads and some of those little ranch dressing packets to go with it?”

Gallop: “Sure, and what about you Gre-uh…“

She worriedly looks at Gretta. She seems a bit distracted at first, but quickly shoves a menu at Gretta.

Gallop: “Uh, H-here, why don’t you take a look at our specials today?”

There’s an awkward moment of silence while she looks over the menu. The server has an obviously concerned look. What, is this her first day on the job or something? Wonder why only she was offered a menu.

Gretta: “Oh- no. Thank you miss, but she’s with me. You can just put our orders on my father’s tab.”

She’s looks over at George for a moment.

Gretchen: “That guy is paying for himself though. He can lick his own salt.”

Gallop: “Very well then. What can I get you?”

Gretta: “Whatever you can get out here the fastest please.”

Gallop: “Be back in just a moment then!”

True to her name, she gallops off into the kitchen with our order.

3/4 Buckwheat 2024/08/11(Sun)19:27 No. 1095715 ID: 15a025
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Gretchen: “What was that all about?”

Gretta: “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Gretchen: “Is your father really okay with putting our dinner on his tab?”

She lets out a little laugh.

Gretta: “I dunno now, that bowl of salad just might bankrupt the company. Might have to lay off a few employees to hide those losses.”

Gretchen: “Hey, last thing I need is to invoke is the wrath of an angry father tonight.”

Gretta: “Think of it as a treat for saving me today then.”

>Ask if she wants to go home or does she have reasons to stay away.
Gretchen: “Are you gonna be alright though Gretta? Do you want to go home after this, or…are you on good terms with your father?”

Gretta: “Sort of, I’d rather not talk about it though. I would like to get home and see him when I can, probably worried about me.”

4/4 Buckwheat 2024/08/11(Sun)19:28 No. 1095716 ID: 15a025
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Gretta: “Are…are you really going to get a divorce if he loses that bet?”

I let out a sigh.

>Maybe not full on divorce if he's normally a good enough husband,
>Separate bank accounts would be an idea. That and having only her name on the deed of whatever housing they can get. If he's got a gambling problem, setting boundaries is important, but it doesn't mean you have to leave him.
Gretchen: “Okay, maybe I’d consider giving him a second chance to fix things. Setting some stronger boundaries, So help me, marriage counseling if it comes to it. He’s done a few stupid things in the past, but this really is the cherry on top. If he loses, we’re probably going to lose our home!”

Gretta: “Well, I can’t exactly speak for my father on this one. He might be able to help you out if your husband loses his bet.”

Gretchen: “How so?”

Gretta: “There were lots of trees out on your property. Sell a chunk of them and I can put in a good word for you.”

Gretchen: “Gretta, that’s a tough call to make.”

What George did was awful, but could I really go behind his back and do something like this?

>>1095716
Maybe wait for the game to end to decide such a thing? Even if we agreed, we'd need to make a contract later.

The way i see it, wait for the game to end. If we win, then there's no need. If we lose, and George finally realizes the pit he's dug himself, we make it clear that the only way he's not getting promoted to bachelor is if he
- Agrees to some SERIOUS changes to his behaviour
- Agrees to the deal

The former is gonna happen even if he wins, of course, but if worst comes to pass, then let him know that if he doesn't fall in line, he's going to be jealous of the freaks he shot in the face.

Why would it be behind his back? Win or lose he's got a lot to make up for. If its sell the trees or lose the house he's not really in a position to object.

>>1095716
By the time youve finjshed eating youll know whether you need to or not.
Whatever the result let george stew a little while before throwing him a lifeline lime this.

Overboard? Maybe, considering we had to deal with a bunch of violent people today which added to our frustration, but something needs to be done about George after putting up with his antics for so long, and this is what came to mind out of the accumulated frustration.

>>1095716
Not behind his back. If he loses the bet then you can tell him about the proposed deal, then if he agrees you go along with the deal, taking out a loan to cover immediate expenses if the money doesn't come immediately.

Why would you need his permission? You didn't give yours for the bet.

why is EVERYONE after your WOOD

We won't need to do anything behind his back.

We need a house to live, and he certainly needs a house to watch the games. If he loses, we will be selling. Either wood or the land it grows from, but we cannot afford to let his pride run us out of house and home.


Now go up there with him and his beer belly for good luck! (And hoots and giggles)

1/2 Buckwheat 2024/08/18(Sun)19:27 No. 1096040 ID: 15a025
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>why is EVERYONE after your WOOD
It’s a cold, cold winter. Wood’s a hot commodity around this time of year.

>Maybe wait for the game to end to decide such a thing? Even if we agreed, we'd need to make a contract later.
>By the time youve finjshed eating youll know whether you need to or not.
>Whatever the result let george stew a little while before throwing him a lifeline
Gretchen: “I’ll wait and see how the game ends first. If he wins, we won’t have to sell.”

The server comes back with water and a bowl of berries, nuts, and corn,

Gallop: “Here’s a little appetizer for you two. It’ll be about five minutes for the salads.”

Gretta is already shoveling mouthfuls of food. She tries to talk but I can’t understand a word she says. In mere moments the bowl is empty and mess of food is scattered about the table.

Gretchen: “I think you got more on the table than in your mouth somehow.”

Gretta: “Oh, sorry. I- I couldn’t help myself. At the uh, “doctors” all I got was a stale tasting food bars. It felt like forever between them too.”

Poor thing, sounds like they were starving her.

2/2 Buckwheat 2024/08/18(Sun)19:28 No. 1096041 ID: 15a025
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She gets a worried look on her face.

Gretta: “What if they followed us back to town though Gretchen? T-they came back to your house for me. What if they try to take me again?”

Well there's more people here that can help, and you can call the police while doing your best to delay them so that the police can handle it. Shooting dangerous-looking things is one thing we can count on police to do.

They wouldnt dare come and pull something here in public. Also, We could probably get the police involved. Worse comes to worst, she may have to go into a witness protection program. Gonna be a pain yes, but better than having stalkers trying to kidnap her again

They followed a wheelbarrow trail through the snow, following a car on roads will be much harder.
And if worst comes at least we are somewhere with food, fuel, and a castle themed roof you hold up in.

>>1096041
Well...I probably wouldn't stay alone for a while, but I imagine that with three witnesses, we can probably contact the police.

Let's just hope this isn't one of those horror movies where the police is also in on it.

"Your dad has mercenary guards, right? If we can get to them, we'll survive."

>>1096041
Point out the solid doors, staff, any other customers.
Remind her youre at a central, public location.

Its understandable to be wary.
Afraid even.
Her mind is probably only just starting to catch up with her body thats been running on instinct and short term survival thinking for too long.
Situations like the one she was in dont leave much room for anything else.
Now shes got enough quiet to afford some mental energy to worry.
So, reassure he.
Shes been through a lot and it will catch up with her a bit at a time, but youre out of the woods now.
Literally and figuratively.

1/2 Buckwheat 2024/08/26(Mon)17:41 No. 1096530 ID: 15a025
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>They followed a wheelbarrow trail through the snow, following a car on roads will be much harder.
Gretchen: “Wheelbarrow tracks in the snow are a lot easier than trying to follow a car. Not to mention, we’re in a ‘castle’ with lots of food and eyes around. No one is busting in to take you away here.”

Gretta: “Well… what about after we leave? What if they’ve got someone waiting for us in the parking lot?”

> you can call the police while doing your best to delay them
> I imagine that with three witnesses, we can probably contact the police.
Gretchen: “We should probably call the police and report what happened. Come on Gretta, lets get to the payphone.”

I dig a dime out of my purse and make a call. I explain the situation to the operator; they assure us an escort and lookouts will be dispatched.

Gretchen: “Right, okay then. We'll watch for them to come in then, thank you.”

As I hang up the phone, I hear an cacophony of cheering, chanting, and booing at the bar. Guess it’s time to face the music.

2/2 Buckwheat 2024/08/26(Mon)17:46 No. 1096531 ID: 15a025
File 172471960549.png - (318.09KB , 500x500 , 61.png )

I squeeze my way around the crowd and sit next to George at the bar. He’s sure cheering up a storm.

George: “YES! YES!!! WE WON! WE WOON! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!"

Gretchen: “I take it someone's happy now?”

George: “You bet! Ah, the ol home team always puts on a good- oh, it’s you.”

Gretchen: “What do you mean ‘Oh it’s you’?”

George: “So you’ve come crawling back for me now that I just won my big bet. I see how it is.”

I grab my wedding earrings from him and put them back on. Part of me has hard time looking him in the face still, but I still end up shooting a dirty look his way.

I don't even know what to say or tell him.

>>1096531
Tell him you meant what you said. You're not going to leave him but that doesn't mean you're happy about what he did. He cannot do it again, and whatever winnings he made were not worth the risk of losing everything.

Why the HELL did you forget the five golden rules of gambling?!

-Don’t forget that if you play, you can also lose.
-Don’t spend more money than you can afford
-Set yourself a budget and don’t exceed it.
-Never borrow money to be able to gamble.
-Do not gamble to win back money you have already lost by gambling.

>>1096531
"Next time you think about betting on a game without telling me then atleast don't bet enough to screw us both over"

>>1096531
Tell him to look you in the eye and stop being an idiot for a singular second and really, really think about these events. I mean *really* think about how he's treated us.

Is he drunk?

>>1096531
There is something seriously wrong with your husband's mind.
Stay with Gretchen for now. When the time comes, have him knocked out and use Gretchen's money to scan an MRI of his brain.
I suspect these woods are cursed - with lead and mercury.

A bet's a bet. You said you wouldn't leave him if they won, and they won. You and him are going to have a talk about betting other people's lives away, but you two need each other together more than ever now, with all those masked lunatics on the loose.

Since he bet the house, he better be getting two houses out of this, in his winnings.

Buckwheat 2024/08/27(Tue)19:26 No. 1096586 ID: 15a025
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>A bet's a bet. You said you wouldn't leave him if they won, and they won.
>Tell him you meant what you said. You're not going to leave him but that doesn't mean you're happy about what he did.
Gretchen: “I meant what I said earlier with that beat. Don’t think I’m going to be happy about what you pulled though George!”

George: “What part of sure fire bet do you not get? The home team creamed those losers!”

Gretchen: “What if their quarterback got injured? What if the fastest runner on the team broke their leg? Literally anything could have happened.”

>Tell him to look you in the eye and stop being an idiot for a singular second
I give him the most wretched Gretchen look I can possibly muster up.
Gretchen: “I want you to stop and think, and I mean THINK, for a moment. Do you even realize how you’ve been treating me tonight?”

He slams his fist on the table,
George: “How about you shush woman! I’d say shooting off two robbers in our house and taking you out to the bar is quite the treat.”

I can’t tell if he’s trying to dance around his gambling issue here or what. I hate to say he isn’t making a bad point, but that doesn’t excuse risking our livelihood and home on a football game of all things, or disrespecting me like that! Treating me like I’m just being an annoyance to him instead of taking this more seriously. It’s just making my blood boil but maybe this isn’t a good time or place for an intervention. Maybe I shouldn't even bother pressing it further for now.

Great, now I'm tearing myself up about it. What should I do? Is it better to keep pressing him or should I walk away from it for now and try to find out what happened to my order?

>>1096586
If you let up on it, he won't learn...this is serious here. Maybe see if he's not just being awkward in public, but if you're in private enough, just...try to really get through to him? I wouldn't know your full history, but really try to make him understand how many years of marriage he almost ruined. For serious. And i don't just mean "be angry". I mean summon every ounce of depth and history.

Unless he's drunk. If he's drunk, there's no use.

There's no use talking if he's not in a headspace to listen. More immediate concerns, like weather a cult is targeting you, or where your salad is.

But you should be planning what you can do to support yourself, because this relationship is not looking healthy.

Time to put this anger to good use. Let it flow through you.

Does he worship his friends?
I'm worried he might worship his friends and treat their 'advice' as gospel.
In the late stages, God is his friend. Who he worships.

>>1096586
Are you really sure hes a good guy underneath or is that something you started telling yourself more and more as the years went on?
What was the last thing he did that reminded you that you love him?
Maybe...
Maybe its just been a crazy night.
Maybe hes a good guy like you say but youll need a drilling team to dig deep enough through the compacted asshole layer and fossilised totalfuckingdickheadium to reach the good right now.

Give yourself space from him and any sharp objects that might just end up planted in his forehead.

There are thousand, dare I say a million better ways to adress the issue, and we likely should do it at a much less pressing time, especially with the police on the way.

But publicly emasculating your big meanie husband might still teach him a lasting lesson is way funnier.
KICK HIM IN THE UNDERBELLY!

You have a counterpoint about saving his wood. Without you, you'd be going back to a cold house with no way to stay warm. Actually, will you be returning to a warm house? Having run off to town, there's nothing stopping the harvesters from harvesting your wood again.

But you can totally make a loud, emasculating joke about this. "Yeah? Well, if I hadn't spent all that time looking for it, I wouldn't think you had any wood at all!"

This isn't about me George. You have a problem. I need you to help me fix it, so we can get past this and maybe survive the night. Just think about it! We can talk later.

1/3 Buckwheat 2024/10/30(Wed)19:23 No. 1099223 ID: b6ea64
File 173034143164.png - (453.09KB , 500x500 , 63.png )

>What was the last thing he did that reminded you that you love him?
Well, he bought me the very ax I use to chop wood for my birthday. He’s a very thoughtful gift giver when he uses that thick skull of his. Wait, no that’s a bit materialistic…

Okay, I’m not sure it was the ‘last’ thing he’s done to stoke our feelings for each other; it certainly is a fond memory.

Last spring, George invited me out for a walk one night. It was dark and chilly, but he insisted. He led me all the way up this hill about a mile away from the house. When we reached the top he laid down onto his back and asked me to join him for some stargazing. It was stunning; the stars were so bright and beautiful. I wish I could describe it better but it felt like we were the only couple left on the whole planet. Just the two of us admiring the vast beauty of the outdoors.

2/3 Buckwheat 2024/10/30(Wed)19:24 No. 1099224 ID: b6ea64
File 173034145615.png - (7.03KB , 800x800 , 64.png )

Gallop: “Sorry for the wait, here’s your salad Gretta and…friend?”

Gretchen: “Oh thanks!”

I think to myself while I chew on my salad…

>Does he worship his friends?
No, at least not like he worships football.

>More immediate concerns, like weather a cult is targeting you.
That’s a concerning thought. Seems like they’re after Gretta, but now that I’ve interfered they might be coming for me too!

>Having run off to town, there's nothing stopping the harvesters from harvesting your wood again.
That’s the least of my concerns now! They know where I live, instead of wood, it’s me or George that could be harvested next! We might have to move into my mother or sister’s house after all.

3/3 Buckwheat 2024/10/30(Wed)19:25 No. 1099225 ID: b6ea64
File 173034150642.png - (263.69KB , 500x500 , 65.png )

I don’t have time to worry though, not even enough to finish my salad! A group of officers escort us to the parking lot. Gretta and I sit in the back of the cop car and George stays behind to wait for a cab.

At least he’s being responsible in some form tonight.

It’s a long drive and I lose track of time. I’m knocked out of my daze as a loud crash thunders through the night and the car comes to a screeching halt.

Gretchen: “Huh?! What’s going on???”

Gretta: “There’s a big tree in the road blocking the way!”

Gretchen: “What?! Ah shit!”

Nope nope nope get the fuck out of there this is an ambush for sure.

"This is an ambush. Back up and stop wayyyyy becore the tree, see if we can spot where it will come from "

>>1099228

Under no circumstances do we get close to that tree, that's the killzone for sure. Are there binoculars in here?

Well, let's make a U-turn and let's look for a different road. Do you know any that is more in the open and not through the woods?

>>1099223
A sweet moment.
Proof he still has a hart.
There's hope for the buck yet.

>>1099225
Oh hell.
Eyes on swivel deer.
If the officer tries to step out, tell him you can see things in the treeline, moving into position.
Whether you do or not.

Spare a glance for gretta.
Where is she looking?
How is she reacting?

2/2 Buckwheat 2024/11/01(Fri)19:00 No. 1099271 ID: b6ea64
File 173051282324.png - (7.53KB , 800x800 , 66.png )

>If the officer tries to step out, tell him you can see things in the treeline, moving into position.
Gretchen: “Don’t get out of the car!”

The front seats are empty.

Gretta: “Should have said that before they got out to move the tree.”

This isn’t good.
>Are there binoculars in here?
I can’t reach for the front to look. There’s a partition blocking our access.

>get the fuck out of there this is an ambush for sure.
>make a U-turn and let's look for a different road.
I reach for the door handle aaand of course there isn’t one. I slam my hoof against the window in frustration.
Gretchen: ”Fuck…

Gretta: “W-what’s wrong?”

Gretchen: “There’s no way to open the door, we’re stuck inside!”

I pound on the window and start shouting,
Gretchen: “Get back! Get back in the car and turn around! It’s an ambush!”
Gretchen: “Hey! AMBUSH! WATCH OUT!!”

Gretta: “G-gretchen!”

Gretchen: “Gretta, we’re getting out of this. Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out.”

Gretta: “Gretchen they’re gone! It’s gone!”

Gretchen: “What?”

2/2 Buckwheat 2024/11/01(Fri)19:00 No. 1099272 ID: b6ea64
File 173051285416.png - (158.15KB , 500x500 , 67.png )

We need to get to the front seat and pull out of here NOW.

>>1099272
Um... well, you can try kicking the window out?

>>1099274
Arent cop cars specifically designed against that?

Seems simple enough. Get in the front seat and pull out of here NOW.

>>1099278
Well if we can't open the doors and we can't get past the barrier and we can't kick out the window, then we're completely trapped.

George's taxi would have to take the same route though wouldn't it? So eventually someone else will arrive. Or the cultists will attack the cop car.

Do we have any tools with which we can break the glass? Anything sharp, that can be used as a weapon or anything?

>>1099283

In general it's the non laminated side windows which are easiest to break. Use a car key at the corner of the window.

>>1099272
Cop cars are resistant to escape but not intended for holding.
Resistant enough that you could not get out quickly enough to cause trouble without your escort noticing. Not so resistant the cop could fuck off for donuts or WALKING INTO AN OBVIOUS TRAP...
Sorry.
Anyway...
Persistance and applied fury will eventually work, but before tapping your anger, take a look and see if theres anything you can jimmy or work free or reach through.
A little unsecured speaking grill perhaps.
Even if its too small its a starting point for breaking out.

1/3 Buckwheat 2024/11/03(Sun)18:03 No. 1099329 ID: b6ea64
File 173068581590.png - (8.08KB , 800x800 , 68.png )

>Do we have any tools with which we can break the glass? Anything sharp, that can be used as a weapon or anything?
>In general it's the non laminated side windows which are easiest to break. Use a car key at the corner of the window.
I dig around my pockets and I find my house key!
Gretchen: “Turn around and cover your eyes Gretta, I’m busting the window open!”

I smash the key into the corner of the window. Each strike with more anger and desperation than the last. When it finally gives in and shatters, the car alarm starts blaring. I fling the door open and rush for the front seat. Keys are thankfully still in the ignition.

2/3 Buckwheat 2024/11/03(Sun)18:04 No. 1099330 ID: b6ea64
File 173068584663.png - (4.12KB , 800x400 , 69.png )

I glance and see one of those masked freaks in the rearview mirror.

Gretchen: “You’re messing with the wrong deer, assholes!”

I shift into reverse and run’em over! Afterwards I swing around and u-turn out of this death trap.

3/3 Buckwheat 2024/11/03(Sun)18:08 No. 1099331 ID: b6ea64
File 173068611354.png - (154.38KB , 500x500 , 70.png )

Gretchen: “Gretta, is there some other way to get home?”

Gretta: “We could go off-road and down the hill. There’s another route that way.”

Gretchen: “Anything that doesn’t involve driving down a dangerously steep hill?”

Gretta: “Well if we go back to town and drive out through the paper mill, there’s a long bridge over Broken Rods River we can take.”

Rubbish options, both. Find the nearest commercial area and make a scene, you can paper over the scandal with money later.

If they set up an ambush here, then they definitely did on the bridge too. But they couldn't cover the whole forest, so I think you're gonna need to go down that hill.

...drive to the police office? It's probably more fortified than your cabin. Might not have any firewood though.

You’re in the front seat now? You should be able to radio in that the situation has escalated, and that multiple officers are down from walking into an obvious ambush. Whether that’s effective or not, down the hill seems like the best option.

>>1099338
No firewood, but maybe firearms.
Lets go.

>>1099339
That could work, but only if none of the police are in it. If they are, we'll be hunted by them too. It doesn't even need to be all of them, since that's clearly not the case. But just a few in the right place would really complicate things.

Probably better than nothing, though.

Don't a bunch of gas stations have firewood to buy? Aren't there probably gas stations near where the police station is?