RANCH QUEST 1 R4N 2020/05/30(Sat)16:36 No. 968550 ID: 9a6f5a
File 159088180596.png - (8.77KB , 250x250 , 1.png )

R4N ran across the desert, and a desire for ranch dressing followed.

You are R4N, a gunslinger. An older bot. You used to make a thing called “ranch dressing”, back when you had a Purpose. But now you wander, looking for something, which is obviously NOT ranch dressing, as going on a quest for ranch dressing, which also hypothetically is the only thing you could acquire to make yourself happy, would be entirely ridiculous- just you and an old gun, and your metal, sexy body. Today, you wander the Rust Desert. The dunes stretch out before you like a particularly chunky mixture of ranch dressing. (Note to self- remove “BAD RANCH DRESSING METAPHORS” programming at nearest available opportunity.)

RANCH QUEST 2 R4N 2020/05/30(Sat)16:37 No. 968551 ID: 9a6f5a
File 159088183356.png - (2.05KB , 250x250 , 2.png )

You walk further, and see a crudely made sign. “RuSTin” is scratched into it, and an arrow pointing the direction you were coincidentally walking. Must be a town. “Might be interesting.” You say to yourself, working your vocal processing unit, trying to lie yourself into thinking that you will check out the town out of mere curiosity, and not a programmed, internal and eternal, undeniable, desire to find “ranch dressing.”

RANCH QUEST 3 R4N 2020/05/30(Sat)16:37 No. 968552 ID: 9a6f5a
File 159088186126.png - (2.56KB , 250x250 , 3.png )

In the distance, you see the town, after yet more walking. You programming dictates several appropriate responses:
>Walk into town calmly, like a normal robot.
>Run into town hootin’ and hollerin’ like a wild yokel.
> ACQUIRE RANCH DRESSING

Just walk into town. But make sure you've got that swag to your walk

>>968552
ACQUIRE RANCH DRESSING

RANCH QUEST 4 R4N 2020/05/31(Sun)22:39 No. 968661 ID: 9a6f5a
File 159098999732.png - (3.41KB , 250x250 , 4.png )

You try to deny it, you really do, but your programming, your soul, your inner desire, only knows one thing- to find the ranch dressing, and if it’s not in Rustin, then Rustin is to be passed through like a vinaigrette passes through a funnel. (Note to self- vinaigrette metaphors are not better than ranch-based ones.)

You willingly search your code, and activate your alternate walk option- SWAGGER POSITION. Everyone in town will definitely think you are cool and a mysterious stranger who does things like get into shootouts, and not a robot who only desires condiments and stares at the ceiling a lot, you’re pretty sure. Your knees out and your arms at the ready, you start walking towards Rustin.

By the time you make it into town, it’s dark. There’s only two bots out- a big, green, apathetic looking one out for a stroll as far as you can reckon, and a tiny blue camdrone, out doing what camdrones do best, which is probably crime these days. Your belt is heavy around your steel plating. You can feel your gun at your side, waiting to be fired, probably at that camdrone, the little bastard. There’s also several buildings- one that says MAYOR in garish yellow that you immediately take the “garish” descriptor from as it’s the same shade as on your face, and oe that says “BAR and LAUNDRY- We do NOT change tires- OPEN.” on the door. There’s other ones, but they're likely either closed or you will be in trouble for “trespassing”. Yet again.

Your programming does not define what to do in such a situation with so many possibilities. What is the best place to go to see about ranch dressing in this likely condimentless hell/shithole, you wonder?

Closest one. Check the bar.

RANCH QUEST 6 R4N 2020/06/02(Tue)21:45 No. 968839 ID: 9a6f5a
File 159115954895.png - (2.49KB , 250x250 , 6.png )

You decide to interrogate the closest biot,the shitty little camdrone. You approach it, your arm pointed out accusingly, body still in SWAGGER. “You there! Ya’ better darn tell me where the ranch dressin’ in this place is!”

The camdrone looks at you, boops, and then casually backs away, like one would from a landmine that was going to go off. It’s gone before you can question it further. You narrow your eyes. One day, you bastard, one day.

RANCH QUEST 7 R4N 2020/06/02(Tue)21:45 No. 968840 ID: 9a6f5a
File 159115955203.png - (2.21KB , 250x250 , 7.png )

You decide that, having failed to consider the camdrone’s cowardice, to head inside the bar. After all, bars are where all questions can be answered/and or wiped from your memory chip by drinking way too much headlight fluid.

The bar is packed when you get in. Strange, but not unusual- robots don’t tend to sleep, so it’s this or walk in the dark until you need to recharge. Unfamiliar robots beep and boop, filling the air with an overbearing sound of conversation. You hurryingly make your way past them and to the counter- you’ll check with the bartender bot first.

As you approach, you see a small little bot sitting on a stool, wearing a tattered cloak. The vestments of a priest, you think. You look over the counter, but no tender is around. Probably busy elsewhere, with the place this packed, you suppose. You know how it is- you worked in the service industry once too. In the meantime, you look over the menu, which contains items such as-
>Diet Anti-Freeze (half the anti, with the same great freeze you love!”)
.Artisanal Power Steering Fluid
>Sugar Oil
>Decaffeinated Headlight Fluid
among other refreshing drinks. You run a diagnostics check and check your belt- you definitely need a tune-up with a drink, but you only have the spare parts for one. Your programming doesn’t dictate a particular need for anything in particular, so what should you order? And what else should you do while you wait for the tender bot?

Power steering fluid.