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>>964179
>message your "bro"
Deuces Daggers (D&D) messaged Cardiac Assault (C&A) at 3:00 AM
D&D: hey, me and C&C have started playing
C&A: Nice! Whats it like? U fight any crazy monsters yet?
D&D: not really, i guess i have to wait longer for something to load on C&C's end but until then all i have is this gross fetus thing chilling in my cupboard
C&A: Huh????
D&D: yeah i dont know either
C&A: Wait!
C&A: Yo man this is gonna be just like the fucking jar baby game
D&D: you know what its called by now! youre doing this to spite me
C&A: Yeah I am, but cmon dude u got a fuckin fetus in a jar
D&D: its not in a jar its in one of my worthless trophies
C&A: You gotta get like
C&A: A glass jar and strap it to ur chest and walk around with that thing like Norman Reedus. Speak in low grunts n shit too with all the actin range of a wet sock. Stack some fuckin boxes on ur back too like the poor man's UPS worker. U got all the makings of a cosplay outfit here. Blast some indie music from your phone while you do it for atmosphere like, we get it Kojima u wanted everyone to hear ur playlist but just get a Spotify like all the other humans where doin, but no u gotta make a whole ass game to boost ur favorite band
C&A: Wait, I'm beginnin to realize this isn't the appropriate reaction to what u just said
C&A: What the hell's the fetus for?
D&D: its more like an embryo really
C&A: Gross
C&A: but what's it for?
D&D: i dont know, neither does C&C but we're assuming its for the game
D&D: speaking of which there are teams apparently
C&A: Oh that’s sorta neat. So what are u and me teamin up to crush G&M and C&C? i'm fuckin' down. Team work is the game my man let's strategize.
D&D: no shut we aren't on the same team. i teamed with G&M
C&A: HUH????????????
C&A: I cannot believe my fuckin eye. Did u actually just type that to me? Ur kidding right? What, did C&C pick me first and you had to take G&M?
D&D: no i got first pick and chose G&M myself
C&A: HHHUUUUUUUHHHHHHH???????
C&A: I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I AM READING! U HAD A CHANCE FOR THE BRO TEAM TO WRECK FACE AND THRASH THE PLACE AND U DIDN'T TAKE IT?
D&D: nope, sorry C&A, we simply aren't bros anymore ive grown bored of you
C&A: Is this because I made fun of the Norman Reedus game? I can CHANGE Cyle!
D&D: too late, youll have to settle for C&C's team instead
C&A: I've truly never felt such heart break. This is the worst news to befall my ears in years, y'know what Cyle wait right there.
D&D: ???
C&A: Here! I've forged for u a new knife Cyle, now allow me to turn around so my back is facing right toward u. Actually I'll save u the trouble and walk into the knife myself! Let this be the cherry on top of the little betrayal party ur throwin over there with G&M. Is there cake at the betrayal party Cyle? I wouldn't know, I am face down on the floor dead and betrayed.
D&D: yeah but its mushroom cake cuz G&M made it
D&D: anyway are you done crying about our break up? cuz if this whole team thing sticks you know you have plenty of time to get back at me
C&A: True I guess. I get the feelin these teams are goin to basically be arbitrary but I am kinda bummed we won't be doin bro squad.
D&D: even when im scheming against you and plotting your lose youll be my bro in my heart
C&A: Bro…
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