-man _804

It's the most annoying device in the world. Guaranteed to send its victim into a slow slide to the grave. And that's in its unfinished state no less!

bling blingle BLEEP.

Hello [User], please complete device activation by registering your name and your greatest desire.

>>860858
you cannot man_804. you are operational intelligence of _804.

>>860859
"Ah! It speaks."

"..."

Wow. That doesn't seem good. Sounds like really a really bad commercial.

The creature picks up the device.

"This looks like an odd dynamo. Gee, I hope this is not one of those stuff it mentioned."

contact with subject (host) detected. 1st notice of subject contact since activation; notifying OI : several functions achievable.

>>860863
Sorry. Yours was not there when I pressed reply.

"Ahh!"

"Uhm. My name is Erwin. Greatest desire?... set that at Pending."

Initiate diagnostic procedure.

list_functions

It's gizmo, not dynamo. Who mentioned what stuff? has someone been talking behind our backs?

>>860868
diagnostic procedures initiated.

Archive... DAMAGED
Mobility... FUNCTIONAL
Telecommunication_antenna... FUNCTIONAL
Output_card... NOT FOUND
Language_card... FUNCTIONAL
Technotrash... FUNCTIONAL
Biological_modifier... FUNCTIONAL
Transformer... NOT FOUND
OI_core... MAYBE
Energy_generator... STATUS UNKNOWN

Overall Status... Okay

>>860869
listing functions... done.

!puncture
!analyse
!move
!track
!speak
![DATA NOT FOUND]*

*data corruption has purged information on functions. discovered functions will be relisted.

-----
"Okay, gizmo. I'm just stating my opinions."

"Ugh. I can't believe I'm actually talking to a lump of space metal..."

"Oh... And I gave you my name. I guess that solidifies a pact between us. Now you're my responsibility."

And with great responsibility comes activate biological modifier.

Which might require
!analyse Biological_modifier
first.

>>860897
Also may want to !analyse our host first.

open_biological_modifier
enhance_knockers.exe

>>860897
a tool that allows modification of biological systems. enhancing, changing, or abating parts, systems, properties, and abilities; giving stimuli to get a certain reactions, and changes. requires intelligence charge to do successful modifications. requires physical contact with subject to modify.

'!modify' has been discovered as a usable function.

>>860912
name: Erwin
species: [REDACTED] Class-E Type-b<br>
traits: warm-blooded, grey-furred, lop-eared, male

for further analysis, a sample may provide more data.

>>860938
the folder 'Biological_modifier' not found. the executable 'enhance_knocker.exe' not found.

-----
"What are you doing? You're vibrating. I hope you're not planning something insidious like injecting your parasitic eggs into my hand."

Erwin stood up and pocketed the device. It was getting late. He held his axe at the bottom of its handle. Ge then started dragging it behind him as he went on his way. He clearly had trouble lifting or dragging the heavy headed axe.

Urgh. Why did I even bring this stupid axe? How did I even keep this stupid job?

!modify Enhance_strength Target: Host

!speak "Hello User Erwin! Would you like assistance carrying your stupid axe?"

If we modify him to be stronger that would be helpful. And purely for info:
!analyse Mobility
!analyse Technotrash

And to see if it works:
!analyse !puncture
!analyse !modify

!puncture host
!modify knockers add

Orange 2018/01/23(Tue)22:53 No. 861237 ID: cc5f4f
File 151677681478.jpg - (56.84KB , 1000x1000 , knocker.jpg )

>>861183
enhance_strength modification with 2 intelligence charge successful. Erwin is now stronger.

Erwin started to drag the axe behind faster, and soon is able to lift it up. It still gave a bit of resistance, but it was significantly lighter. Erwin noticed it, and found it really curious. He continued on his way, holding the axe instead of dragging it behind.

>>861184
"Ah. It's okay... I think I can handle it. It seems to have become lighter."

a system that allows the device to move from one place to another. it is made of six segmented legs on either side of the device's length. it ends with sharp tips so the device can easily climb.

several miscellaneous systems for manipulating, deconstructing, and creating technology.

!pucture - creates a hole on a surface so what's underneath can be accessed.

!modify - modifies the biological systems of a target, enchancing, changing, or abating parts systems, properties, and abilities; gives special stimuli to get certain reactions, and changes. uses intelligence charge.

>>861211
target punctured.

A small hole in Erwin's skin was punctured. Erwin flinched, almost dropping the axe. "Ow! Don't do that," he said. "What are you doing in there?"

precautionary system suggests against this idea for Erwin is not a door or any similar device that can benefit from gaining knockers. however, if you continue, template knockers can be attached anywhere on the host as desired. will require more than 1 intelligence charge.

!analyse intelligence charge
Tell him that we may have already started helping him with the axe before asking, then ask if he wants help to stop.

!speak "Performing calibrations, User Erwin!"
Would you like to know more?"

!analyse Erwin sample
We stabbed him, let's profit from it.

!analyse OI_core
I think this makes intelligence charge.

>>861244
a surge of energy that is released by an operational intelligence; drives biological modifier, and technotrash. when more OIs invest intelligence charge, the more powerful, or successful an action is.

>>861245
blood sample contains chemicals indicating masculinity, and sedentary lifestyle. immune system found mediocre. blood sugar levels normal. blood pressure normal. no diseases detected.

inquire for further data.

abbreviation for operational intelligence core. houses the OIs and process the data they provide and are provided. controls intelligence charge valves

>Tell him that we may have already started helping him with the axe before asking, then ask if he wants help to stop.
"Uhm, really? Thanks. Keep on going, I guess. What did you do?"

>!speak "Performing calibrations, User Erwin!"
Would you like to know more?"
"Calibrations? That doesn't sound to bode too well, but yes please."

Erwin continued to walk until a shack made of grey homogeneous material. The sun was setting, and the lights from within the shack was on. Erwin stood before the door, and twisted its handle, but to his surprise, it was locked. There also appears to be a sound of whining, and barking.

Huh? It's locked? I don't remember locking it.

Uhm, really? Thanks. Keep on going, I guess. What did you do?
Does the axe feel lighter to you or does everything?

the lights from within the shack was on
Do you often leave your lights on when your not home, if not someone is probably inside.
Huh? It's locked? I don't remember locking it.
Do yo have a key, maybe one hidden somewhere for emergencies.

>>861276
>>861278
fyi, just putting a > in front of a line of text turns it the shade of green you're trying to imitate.

!speak "This device is _804. It has many useful functions. Would you like assistance performing a manual override on this door?"

!analyse lock
I guess we just use the modify command on pieces of technology to use the Technotrash?

>>861276
>>861278
>>861282
If there is no key it's time for us to become a lock pick and open that door


>>861280
Thanks for that, I honestly didn't know.

> Does the axe feel lighter to you or does everything?
"Huh?" Erwin was confused, but he thought about it, and found it to be true. Everything felt slightly lighter, even his body. "Okay. What did you actually do? Kindly explain."

> Do you often leave your lights on when your not home, if not someone is probably inside.
"No, but it automatically turns on when the sun sets. Also, Ford is usually there, it's kinda their job."

> Do yo have a key, maybe one hidden somewhere for emergencies.
"No. I leave the door unlocked. I usually don&apos;t take too long in the woods."

> !speak "This device is _804. It has many useful functions. Would you like assistance performing a manual override on this door?"
"Err... No thanks... I can handle this."

Erwin banged at the door. The impacts he made shook the door. "Open up, Ford. It's me. Why&apos;d you lock the door?"

"<Not self. Not meant. No intruder. Trapped in.>*"

language identified: ʃℙ❈※ᶑ~β

"Okay... Could you open the door, please?"

"<No. Unable. Asking assistance.>"

"... Aw. Come on. Device, you have my permission to this lock."

> !analyse lock
it is a simple dull grey door lever. it has a pin tumbler lock, and is made brass. it contains no electronics and is all mechanical.

> I guess we just use the modify command on pieces of technology to use the Technotrash?
affirmative.

>>861576
!modify target lock: unlocked

>>861576
!speak “Can you not understand what Ford is saying? He’s telling you that he can’t open the door and needs your help to open it because he’s trapped inside!”

>>861579
Seconded

!analyze Technotrash
!analyze Transformer
!analyze Archive, how damaged is it? Is there any space left?
!Modify Diagnostic Procedure so that it includes all newly discovered commands.
!Analyze Internal Timer
if nothing is found
!Create_Program "Internal_Clock.exe" background software that tracks the current time using 24 hours. Time can be set by using !Modify Clock (enter time here)

Orange 2018/01/24(Wed)23:09 No. 861618 ID: cc5f4f
File 151686418233.jpg - (15.15KB , 284x398 , Class-Fred.jpg )

((Image for reference.))

>>861579
>>861587
> !modify target lock: unlocked
You crawled on Erwin's body to his hand. He reached out to the door lever so you may interact with it.

door successfully unlocked with 2 intelligence charge.

The lock clicked open.

>>861582
> !speak “Can you not understand what Ford is saying? He’s telling you that he can’t open the door and needs your help to open it because he’s trapped inside!”
"Yes... Actually, no. He speaks a different language that accommodates better to the physiology of Class-Fs, and I don't know it."

"<You lied? Beginning and now?... Self not like.>"

"Sorry, pal. I don't actually understand you. I just guess."

The door was swung wide open, revealing a brown creature resembling a labrador with whiskers that ended with tufts of feathery hair, and two small dark orifices on the upper corner of their eyes. It looked around and wore a confused look.

"Hey, Ford. I'm home."

"<Where friend? You speak. No other here.>" the dog-like creature, whom is known as Ford, spoke.

"Uhm..."

new subject detected. mental link can be established. awaiting queries, commands, before further actions is done.

>>861612
several miscellaneous systems for manipulating, deconstructing, and creating technology.

a part that multiplies intelligence charge, allowing one OI to be able to invest more intelligence charge into an action.

archive is currently usable. 78.4% of archives were purged due to data corruption. 90.1% of archive is free and ready to be used.

here are the commands, including newly discovered ones:
!puncture
!analyse
!move
!track
!speak
!modify

Internal_Timer is currently at update8.

You threw me off. I was gonna post this new update and suddenly, there's you.

>>861618
!speak “Before you opened the door he said that he didn’t like how you’ve been lying to him about how you understood what he’s been saying. After opening the door, he’s asking where your friend is. He heard you speaking to someone, but he doesn’t see anyone other than you here.”

>>861618
!speak Hello Ford. Erwin, would you like to understand Ford? We can make that happen.

>>861622
"!!!"

"<!!?>"

"You can understand him? That... is fantastic."

"<Voice from? Also, you hold axe?!>"

"Sorry pal, still can't understand you."

>>861623
"You can do that?! That'll be great."

"<Yes, please. Where you?>"

"I can finally order a pizza without Ford whining."

"<You not afford pizza. Self pay.>"

"I can dream, Ford."

Erwin reached out to you, and takes you off the door lever. He showed you in front of Ford.

"<That friend?... You mad?>"

"<You in. Out cold.>"

Ford turned around and went into the shack, beckoning Erwin to follow him in. Erwin followed suit.

Ford sat down and faced Erwin. He tried to wear a serious face.

"<You explain, please. Brain numb.>"

>>861646
!modify Erwin: understands ʃℙ❈※ᶑ~β

!speak We don't have much knowledge to explain, but I will state what we know. This tiny device contains many individual intelligences. The intelligences can combine strength of thought to modify things around the device. We do not know of any restrictions on the ability to modify things. It seems to be capable of anything, but the device is also damaged, and we have lost access to most of its data archive. Most pressingly, we cannot quite tell the status of the power supply.
!analyze !track
!analyze Energy_generator

>>861646
!speak “Hahahaha! Sorry, it’s just, when you showed us to Ford, he said that he doesn’t believe you when you told him that we were the other person that was speaking. In fact, he says that you’ve been out in the cold for too long and you’ve gone mad from your brain being numb! Hahaha! Hey, Ford, Erwin is telling you the truth, he’s not crazy!”

>>861732
Also add
!modify Erwin: able to speak ʃℙ❈※ᶑ~β

!analyse Telecommunication_antenna
!analyse Output_card
Activate Telecommunication_antenna
Scan for signals and radio chatter and listen.

>>861732
tracks the position, and/or condition of a selected object or entity.

generates and contains energy for intelligence charge. status of part currently unknown.

>>862903
allows communication to organic and technological entities. currently functional, and in use.

allows information to be relayed to OIs in a graphic manner other than text. part currently missing, presumably lost, destroyed, or discarded without notifying system.

scanning for frequencies...
scan complete. background white noise filtered out. there are no frequencies of note. most are utilitarian in nature, relaying instructions between autonomous machines. some have indications of having a domestic appliance source, some of which are within the shack. no interstellar or extraterrestrial frequencies being sent to or received from space.

-----
You moved from Erwin's hand to somewhere near his neck. You insert a wires into his neck. Erwin and Ford appeared nervous. Erwin felt a little buzzing in his head.

>!modify Erwin: understands ʃℙ❈※ᶑ~β
Erwin: understands ʃℙ❈※ᶑ~β with 1 intelligence charge successful. Erwin can now understand a small bit of Ford's language.

Erwin's mind was shaped to understand and comprehend Ford's speech. He now knows how each sound accompanied by other sounds would mean when used together in language Ford's

>!modify Erwin: able to speak ʃℙ❈※ᶑ~β
this modification with 1 intelligence charge mostly successful. Erwin can now speak a little bit of Ford's language.

Information buzzed into Erwin's mind. How words sounded and what they would mean next to each other.

-----
subsystems has implemented a new speechtext color system.

>!speak We don't have much knowledge to explain, but I will state what we know. This tiny device contains many individual intelligences. The intelligences can combine strength of thought to modify things around the device. We do not know of any restrictions on the ability to modify things. It seems to be capable of anything, but the device is also damaged, and we have lost access to most of its data archive. Most pressingly, we cannot quite tell the status of the power supply.

"<Too bad.>"

"Indeed. It's a dang shame. You are pretty impressive though."

>!speak “Hahahaha! Sorry, it’s just, when you showed us to Ford, he said that he doesn’t believe you when you told him that we were the other person that was speaking. In fact, he says that you’ve been out in the cold for too long and you’ve gone mad from your brain being numb! Hahaha! Hey, Ford, Erwin is telling you the truth, he’s not crazy!”
"<Not what self meant! Self meant say out was cold. You must in because in is not cold. Brain of self was numb, not of Erwin. But, you skull-opening.>"

"That is a bit lengthy rant there, bud, but I guess Class-F language can be confusing."

"Anyway, while we're at it, what's for dinner."

Erwin went to a chamber which could be assumed to be a kitchen. He opened a cold box. Inside were multiple featureless boxes with a shiny cover. He reaches for one.

"<Usually, rations.>"

[color==#9B870C]"When will they send us better rations? I mean, I love this stuff, but can't they send more variety."[/color]

"<They expect you earning. They send more for little-earners.>"

>>862979
!speak I expect we could earn you money. What jobs could involve modification of objects? Or perhaps we could change the rations to other types of food? Make a request.
(guys you need to support other actions if you want them to have greater effect, we probably could've gotten her to understand more of the language)

>>862981
"... I don't know."

"<Unlikely. All recorded citizens work and paid. No outsiders imported yet.>"

"Yeah. And I don't think the government is gonna be too thrilled with an alien machine among it's ranks."

Erwin opened the box, revealing a dull grey mush.

"I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I don't think you can earn money for us other than modifying us, and as your first mission into earning something, turn this awfully cheesy, buttery, and meaty flavored rations into something that tastes like bananas," Erwin said loudly and he pounded the table.

"<Uncivilized. Class-D in town can help.>" Ford rolled his eyes.

Oh right. Her... Dawson can help. We should talk to her tomorrow. They don't keep the laboratory open too late.

!modify Rations: Flavor_Banana

>>863226
supporting. Tasty food incoming.

>>863226
Let's do it! And while we're at it:

!modify rations: optimise nutritional value

Turn all that wasted grease and filler material into something useful.

>>863228
good idea

>>863226
>>863227
Rations: Flavor_Banana modification with 3 intelligence charge succesful. rations now tasty and banana-flavoured.

>>863228
>>863229
parsing error! please define "nutritional value." 2 intelligence charge are stored for this action until errors are resolved.

-----
Erwin, now with the tasty treat of banana-flavoured, dug into the box of goodness. He tasted it it and thought about it.

"This is awesome. The mushiness and greasiness does leave a strange feel."

Ford helped himself and took a box of rations for himself. He set it down on the floor and took some bites.

"<Good for you.>"

Erwin and Ford were eating. Do you want to do any actions, or do you want to wait until they are finished.

>>864188
Okay I guess the device doesn't automatically know what vitamins and minerals and such are useful for these species. I vote we cancel the action, since we don't know either.

!analyze Ford

>>864188
>parsing error! please define "nutritional value." 2 intelligence charge are stored for this action until errors are resolved.

Nutritional value is Vitamins, Minerals, Proteins, Salts and Fats necessary for sustaining life, function and bodily growth.

!analyze Ford
!analyze Erwin
Use data collected on Ford and Erwin to maximise nutritional value of food.

!speak "If item texture is not to your liking please input requested texture. Requesting information, Is the item you are ingesting meeting your nutritional needs."