Also first of anything plz don't kill me

Okay, first of all, you gotta kill yourself. Now there's not much to work with, so I'm afraid you'll have to choke yourself with your underwear. It's the only way. Just jam it in real deep so you don't spit it out again.

If you can't manage that though, look around I guess.

Take off your underwear. That's how every story begins.

Then look around.

call out into the void, see if there is a response or an echo.

Identify thyself. You're most probably Dennis.

Sink into the ground to cover your nakedness.

Freak out at the gravity of the situation.

Bunny 2017/11/02(Thu)08:39 No. 841898 ID: a8be48
File 150963719483.png - (144.98KB , 1000x1000 , 2.png )

>>841842
>>841845
>Your name is now Dennis, Your not a menace tho it seems
>Before you can appreciate your new name, a new urge emerges
>You promptly take off your panties to find that you have a vagina, you then stick them onto your head to be used as protection
>Looking around you see nothing but white void, then you look down again,some sort of albino midget holding a scythe has poofed into existence. He has no name?

Eat midget.

Steal midgets scythe

It's the reaper! Run!

Talk to the funny midget with black robe. Ask him where you are and how do you get out.

Bunny 2017/11/02(Thu)09:33 No. 841915 ID: a8be48
File 150964038074.png - (209.89KB , 1000x1000 , 3.png )

>>841899
>>841903
>>841908
>For a moment you think about eating the midget, its tempting but you doubt you could actually eat them
>The midget puts down their scythe and holds out their hands, 2 carrots appear floating above them, offering them to you, you also notice that you could possibly take his scythe now but thats probably a bad idea since they are staring right at you
>You ask the midget what the carrots are and if they will allow you to leave the void, the respond
T͢h́ę ̴Bl̢ue Ça̛r̕r͢o͘t w̢ill t҉ak̵e͟ ҉y̢o͜u ̵to ͟á p҉lac͘e ́b͏ey͟ond ̛y͝ou͢r ̸w͏i̸ldes͝t́ ̡drèąm͝s̢,̷ w̡here͢ n̢ig̴h͢t ̧n͢eve҉r e͡n̶d͏s̷ and̨ t̛h͏e ͜sḱy̡ g̵lǫẃs ̶b͞lue̷ w̵i̕th҉ fire͟f̡lys ̵a͢nd͟ stár҉s,́ ma̡ny͜ ̧ḿons̷t͢ers ̸aw͏a̧it҉ y͞o͏u̸ i̕n t̀he̡ f͘o̡re͢s̛t͝

̶T͡h̴e P̨in͜k̡ C̨a̶rr͜o͝t͢ ̸wi͢ll ͘t͏a̢k̛e͠ you to a ̡d͝es͘ola͡t̵e͏ an͘d̢ em̧ṕty ̛pla͝c͢ȩ, r̸èména̡n͏ts ͟o̵f̕ ẃh͟ąt o̡nce w҉as͞ a͏ gr͟e҉at͏ s̢o͘ciet̴y̡ ̷n̶o͞w d̴ųs͏t a͜nd t̀hos̀e͡ ͠who ͠l͏i̵v̶ed̕ ̴to s͘e̕e t̴ḩe nex͠t d͞a͏y t͡urne̛d sa͏vàge̕ a̛nd a̡re͠ c͢o̷nst͟a̶nt҉ly o͝n̴ t͟h͝e̡ h͡unt͝ ̡f̢o͞r̵ new̴ ̕m͞e͠a̶t

>>841915
Cool, take them both and only take one nibble of each at a time, when needed.

>>841915
Gee buddy do you think you could make my options any more dismal?

Both options seem great! But I'd go with the Pink Carrot, because we wouldn't be able to see anything at night in a forest with the other option.

Also, Dennis is a sucky name for a girl! Change your name to Dani.

>>841917
Theres always a twist, he's an albino midget, everything is too good to be true

>>841915
take scythe

Shove one in your ass and one in your vag

Bunny 2017/11/02(Thu)10:19 No. 841934 ID: a8be48
File 150964318174.png - (172.44KB , 1000x1000 , 4.png )

>>841916
>>841922
>>841924
>You take one carrot, stick it in your mouth, then QUICKLY GRAB THE SCYTHE AND OTHER CARROT BEFORE CHOMPING DOWN
>WOOOO STEALING!!!

Test if the second carrot works if used anally

put the blue carrot in your mouth and eat them at the same time.

Bunny 2017/11/02(Thu)10:51 No. 841940 ID: a8be48
File 150964508171.png - (181.06KB , 1000x1000 , 5.png )

>After biting the carrot you blink to find that your suddenly elsewhere
>Your a little soggy now but otherwise fine
>In your rush to escape the albino midget death you bit a lot off the carrot
>You take a moment to look around to see your in a field, the...moon? is spewing what looks to be flames or something and theres a city in the distance
>Tech half buried in the ground is scattered about and you remembered what the midget said
>"Savages hang around here looking for meat", better find a place to hide

>>841940

Avoid the city for now. Look around for anything usefull.

Looks like it could get cold out here. Better find some shelter. And clothes.

You don't want to lose that blue carrot in case you need it later. Putt it in your but for safe keeping

Whoa. You're in color now! Walk to the city. You ain't afraid of no savages!

Find the shiniest bit of tekkyology and claim it as your own.

Bunny 2017/11/02(Thu)11:55 No. 841952 ID: a8be48
File 150964890045.png - (175.78KB , 1000x1000 , 6.png )

>>841943
>>841944
>Your not too excited about such an idea, but your also not gonna turn it down
>You stuff the carrot in your pussy and pull your panties up, you then stick the half-eaten carrot in your panties as well for safe keeping, kinda awkward feeling
>You pick up the scythe and plan out a direction to go, maybe you'll find a nice hole in the ground to stay in

Go towards the city. Lots of places to hide there.

Bunny 2017/11/02(Thu)14:12 No. 841978 ID: a8be48
File 150965713893.png - (145.67KB , 1000x1000 , 7.png )

>>841955
>Sounds good to me!
>LETS GO!

Bunny 2017/11/02(Thu)14:12 No. 841979 ID: a8be48
File 150965715457.png - (142.88KB , 1000x1000 , 8.png )

>>841955
>Fuck

Quick, catch the scythe. With your face.

Stay calm and use the force of gravity to your advantage by tumbling down the hill in an elaborate manner.

(try not to land on your crotch too much)

Don't land on the carrot.

>>841979
Duck and roll.

And don't land on the scythe.

Don't fall on the one sharp object in miles. That would be a highly embarrassing way to die.

Bunny 2017/11/02(Thu)15:51 No. 842005 ID: a8be48
File 150966307867.png - (123.88KB , 1000x1000 , 9.png )

>>841987
>>841993
>Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow

Bunny 2017/11/02(Thu)15:53 No. 842006 ID: a8be48
File 150966318961.png - (234.23KB , 1000x1000 , 10.png )

>Ow, after finally stopping you regain yourself and find you've landed in the middle of some camp
>Theres a fire burning and an unhappy fox who looks more than happy to beat the hell out of you for whatever you have
>Fuck

>>842006
Grab scythe, get up, prepare to defend self.

Pick the Scythe, show that you can defend yourself.

>>842006
pick up the scythe and reveal your incredible hidden fighting style: 'swing the sharp thing like a lunatic' as an intimidation tactic.

Offer favors and/or a pussy carrot for your life

Wave around that scythe and he may believe you can actually inflict harm with it.

Yell 'it's all I have' and throw the blue carrot at him. With any luck he'll be hungry enough to eat it and be teleported away leaving you all his stuff.

>>842076
This.

Bunny 2017/11/02(Thu)21:11 No. 842130 ID: a8be48
File 150968231721.png - (154.96KB , 1000x1000 , 11.png )

>>842007
>>842008
>pokemonbattlestart.wav
>Oh shit oh shit oh shit
>You have no idea how to fight against someone twice your size

Use Tackle!

Bunny 2017/11/02(Thu)21:14 No. 842132 ID: a8be48
File 150968244868.png - (175.82KB , 1000x1000 , 12.png )

>>842076
>>842009
>>842037
>In your panic you actually throw the scythe at him, I don't think he was ready for it

Odd dubs decides if he blocks
Even dubs decides if he doesn't block and gets hit

Throw your panties at him also as a combo.

>>842140
...are you asking us to roll dice? Tgchan doesn't move fast enough for post numbers to be anywhere close to random.

>>842142
Oh alright, i'll just use random number generator until I get dubs

rolled 1 = 1

---

Yeah, either we get even dubs now or it takes a day to have a go at odd dubs. How about a nice game of dice instead?

Bunny 2017/11/02(Thu)22:42 No. 842150 ID: a8be48
File 150968774606.png - (140.51KB , 1000x1000 , 13.png )

>Oh shit he "blocked" it
>You did 1 damage
>You're in a complete state of shock and can't move
>His turn

DOOOOOODGE!

Remove your panties and use them to block his attack

Grab his weapon by your weapon's handle.

Be in a state of shock.

Use Cowertech Beginner Player Trick: Run like you've seen a ghost.

Bunny 2017/11/03(Fri)10:37 No. 842227 ID: a8be48
File 150973065729.png - (141.86KB , 1000x1000 , 14.png )

>>842161
>You physically can't run away due to the rules of battle
>Its his turn, not yours

Bunny 2017/11/03(Fri)10:40 No. 842228 ID: a8be48
File 150973080517.png - (137.85KB , 1000x1000 , 15.png )

>>842152
>You duck quickly
>HE MISSED!!!!
>Your turn now!

Pull down his pants and try to push him!

>>842228
Before he gets back to his space, kick to the taint!

Use the deadly double nipple twister attack!

>>842228
Pull down his pants and push him over!!

Crotch bash!

>>842231
Seconded.

Bunny 2017/11/03(Fri)17:12 No. 842314 ID: a8be48
File 150975432678.gif - (277.15KB , 1000x1000 , 16.gif )

>>842231
>>842232
>>842277
>>842292
>You slide your way over to him nervously
>You pull down his pants
>You stare intently at his sheat and balls
>You then bash his nuts in with your foot
>He's out for the count, time to run

Your weapon leveled up! Take SCYTHECLUB with you.

Take his pants with you, and wear them. It may not fit, but it will have to do for now.

Give him a hand job. It's the least you can do after crushing his balls.

TAKETH YE PHAT LOOTS
SYTHCLUB AND PANTS ARE YOURS!

>>842314
Take his weapon and your weapon and his pants!

And also take one of his tents!

>>842322
Its only fair at this point. See if you can take Sytheclub as it will probably be very heavy. See if the pants will fit, if not then roll up the pants legs and prepare to hold em up.

>>842314
Wear pants as a cape.

Proudly equip your new Scythe-club and pose as you reach level 2.

>>842314
yes, be sure to loot your downed foe

kick him in the nuts again just to be sure he wont follow us (though really a nuke from orbit is the only true wat to be sure we don't have the resources to do that, and even then he could be superman you never know)

Suggestion 2017/11/03(Fri)18:34 No. 842348 ID: c31aac
File 150975929954.png - (227.51KB , 483x463 , z8eexhgztzsz.png )

>>842314
His pants are now your backpack! GRAB EVERYTHING AND BOOK IT!

Use Craftytech Noob Player Trick: Loot and Run

assert dominance through terror/pain by grinding your foot of his pelvis.

Grab his balls- I mean, pants. Grab his pants and use them as a cape and run.

Gonna bump the thread for now cause i'll be out most of the day

Bunny 2017/11/04(Sat)22:02 No. 842631 ID: a8be48
File 150985814895.png - (218.20KB , 1000x1000 , 17.png )

>>842344
>YES! LEVEL 2!!!!
>You feel literally no different than before
>But your only level 2 so lets keep leveling up!

Bunny 2017/11/04(Sat)22:05 No. 842633 ID: a8be48
File 150985830062.png - (257.70KB , 1000x1000 , 18.png )

>>842316
>>842317
>>842326
>>842335
>>842337
>>842345
>>842442
>You would loot your stuff back but now its too heavy and the pants won't fit
>He does have a book on him tho? You could fit it in the backside of your panties for safe keeping

>>842633
Tie the pants around your neck. Pull the Scythe out of the club. You threw it overhand WITH ENOUGH FORCE TO PUNCH THROUGH IT, you're clearly strong as fuck.

Separate club and scythe. Take book. Seriously. Books are always more valuable than they appear around here.

Separate the club and scythe. Carry the scythe in your hand.

equip pants and scytheclub, store book in new pants slot.

Is that his wallet? take that wallet.
as for the scythe, You'll have to wiggle and work it out of the club slowly. If he starts to wake up in the middle of the process, just kick him in the head a few times.

Also your level up seems to have given you extremely firm nipples.

Did that level-up enhance knockers? Take wallet, equip scytheclub so it isn't taking inventory space.

>>842633
Why aren't your hands equipment slots.

You could use the scythe to cut up the pant if they won't fit. Make yourself a belt, or a sash or something you can hang stuff on.

Take the book and continue towards the city. Read the book while walking. Surely that wouldn't cause you to trip the second time, would it?

Do this
>>842348
then duel wield club and scythe.

Or you could wait for the Asshole to come to and ask him to join your party, you could offer him loot and sex as payment.

When was the last time you ate besides the magic carrot? Cut off his dick balls and eat them for protein

Suggestion 2017/11/06(Mon)09:58 No. 842920 ID: a8be48
File 150999109045.gif - (353.39KB , 1000x1000 , 19.gif )

>>842636
>>842637
>>842734
>You put the book in the back of your panties, your panties are gonna start sagging from all this shit you keep putting in them
>You drag the scythebat out in the open and begin trying to pry the scythe from the bat
>The handle of the scythe snaps and you fall over
>Well fuck
>You think of a new plan that might involve the asshole you just nut-kicked but he's out for the count and probably doesn't like you at all for that
>You might as well read the book to see what it is

Read book.

>>842920
Take off the asshole's pants, and use them to tie him up in case he wakes up.

Put either the scythe club or the former scythe handle in your butt slot. You need a weapon for later. (Handle side end of the club obviously, safety first)
Put the other in the asshole's asshole.

throw pants in campfire to be sure it doesn't go out, then read the book.

>>842951
This.

Throw the asshole on the fire, then pee on him to put it out

You can read the book later, once you've found a place to hide. For now I think the priority is expanding your inventory space. If this >>842348 won't work, search the camp for a proper backpack or some other purpose-built container. Failing anything else, fold up the tent into a big bag and drag it behind you.

Bunny 2017/11/08(Wed)11:29 No. 843501 ID: a8be48
File 151016939593.png - (211.78KB , 1000x1000 , 20.png )

>>842921
>>842951
>You open the book, and its uhhh?
>>842348
>This?
>You look back at the pants and start to think of making a nice backpack
>You also think of shoving the bat or scythe handle up your butt but they are both too big and would probably hurt a lot so you don't

What a useless book! Throw it away. Leave the pants behind also because we don't have a rope to tie them into a backpack like on the picture. Then continue on your journey!

Then shove scythe handle up Assholes asshole!
Make pantspack.
Take new spiky club.
Search area for food.

Suggestion 2017/11/08(Wed)16:12 No. 843586 ID: 64dbb8

Use the scythe blade to reduce the scythe handle's size. Insert into butt slot. Shove scytheclub into asshole's asshole.

Search his tent for rope

Make the backpack and put everything you can't carry in it plus the book so your panties don't get damaged.

ride his dick and then dismantle his tent for supplies

Do something

Cover his modesty with the tent so he isn't set upon by the first scavenger that sees him, unlike you were.

>>843501
toss him on the fire and consume his flesh