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File 149592132281.png - (127.55KB , 500x500 , Lotion Seller Quest1.png )
804730 No. 804730 ID: acd563

Beyond the dry mountains and salted lakes resides a small town, unmarked by many explorers’ maps. Not a place one would wish to visit for a happy meal, or even a quick dump, it's a real hellhole. On top of the burning sun that ignites the streets like lava coming out of a volcano, the town serves as a safe house for many bands of raiders (the worthless parasites). You’re Lotion Seller, a humble local seller of… lotions (lowercase). You make your stand at the market, on another sunny day in the town of Craneo Seco.
Expand all images
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No. 804731 ID: acd563
File 149592138630.png - (159.63KB , 500x500 , Lotion Seller Quest2.png )
804731

Lotion: -Mmh… I surely adore the aroma of putrid seafood and rotten vegetables… Another day I sit alone on this uncomfortable chair awaiting some wealthy fatzo with a pocket-full-o’-gold to buy my miraculous aphrodisiacs, but is such thing ever going to happen?- *sighs*

Lotion Seller spoke to herself by her stand, impatiently waiting for a client, a new opportunity, some sort of divine intervention, or just something to stop the boredom!
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No. 804732 ID: 3abd97

>>804731
Clearly you need to drum up demand for your lotions with some aggressive advertising. Get some scandalous romantic exploits going on the rumor mill to bring in business. Go do something racy!
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No. 804733 ID: a363ac

>>804731
attract customers by using your wares, and moaning loudly to attract attention.
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No. 804734 ID: 502f69

>>804733
Yeah do this! Show a little lotioned butt and seduce potential customers into buying!
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No. 804735 ID: 636dcb

>>804731
Apply aphrodisiacs. To get sales, you need to prove these products work.

There's nothing wrong with mixing business and pleasure.
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No. 804736 ID: 4063a3

>>804731
For new business: free samples coupled with IN-STORE specials.
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No. 804738 ID: 6f97db

"accidentally" spill one of your elixirs on a random passerby.
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No. 804739 ID: 2120ee

>>804731
You know any whores to sell your crap too?

Especially if you have stuff that takes care of "rashes".
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No. 804740 ID: cbadeb

shove a bottle right up your snatch. sex always attracts customers
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No. 804741 ID: 973861

who's your normal clientele?

Also do you have any competition in town?
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No. 804742 ID: 4fe424

Pour the Sell-more-lotions lotion on your lotions.
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No. 804747 ID: 3373e2

Maybe try to find a better spot near the entrance or something.
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No. 804753 ID: 094652

If you're looking for a connoisseur, this is not the place to advertise.

Use some of your cheap perfumes in combination, leave a trail of scents for the relic hunters to follow. Make it look like the start of an adventure, and the wannabe heroes with purses instead of sense will try to buy a lottery of relics from your humble potion stand.
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No. 804756 ID: 8d4593

Ho-Lee Shit. That guy over there sure is selling that bread hard. He's acting like it's the best thing since sliced... bread.
Hold up, write that down. Sliced bread could be a Great idea.

Aside from that though, I have an idea. Slither on over to that baker... and perhaps suggest he add one of your aphrodisiacs to his bread.
When his customers undoubtedly return for more of this new and wondrous product, You'll be there ready to rightfully take the credit and sell sell sell!
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No. 804818 ID: 103a6a

Lotion seller, I'm going into battle, and I need your strongest lotions!
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No. 804947 ID: f90e9a

>>804818
>Lotion seller, I'm going to the beach, and I need your strongest lotions!

Fix'd a bit
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No. 804948 ID: 103a6a

>>804947
Listen to me lotion seller, I am going into battle, and I need only your strongest lotions!
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No. 804958 ID: 0d1514

>>804731
Expose your gams
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No. 804962 ID: 3740b1

>>804734
Lotion butt -> ???? -> Profit
>>
No. 804968 ID: 41b5ca

>>804730
Up the concentration of the lotions to make them more powerful. Advertise them as the strongest lotions in the land. Who is your supplier?
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No. 804969 ID: 91ee5f

No one ever wants to buy lotions because they rather have potions! Which means that it's the potion seller that's stealing all your business!

There's gotta be a way to make everyone see that lotions are superior to potions!
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No. 805029 ID: acd563
File 149609199114.png - (92.00KB , 500x500 , Lotion Seller Quest3.png )
805029

Lotion Seller flusters at the arousing thoughts floating inside her mind. Self-degradation, doing such a thing in public would make her look like nothing more than a common street whore.
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No. 805030 ID: acd563
File 149609203091.png - (99.92KB , 500x500 , Lotion Seller Quest4.png )
805030

Speaking of whores… selling her merchandise to those dirty rag scratchers surely doesn’t seem like a bad idea, perhaps a story for another day she has to cover her time on the market after all… Having the merit of being the only lotion seller on town brings the benefit of not having any competition, however that’s only because no one seems to understand the importance of having healthy hydrated skin which means NO BUYERS! Of any kind!
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No. 805031 ID: acd563
File 149609208126.png - (146.50KB , 500x500 , Lotion Seller Quest5.png )
805031

What about better spots you say? All the other sellers, corrupted and wicked as they are, would stab her guts out if she took their beloved spots… spots, spot what about that…Bread Seller’s spot? That troglodyte! He’s been luring her buyers away!
>>
No. 805038 ID: a363ac

>>805031
"spill" lotions on his filthy bread selling skin then apologize and go back to your stand and let the lotions work their magic on him and use him as "free" advertising once he become infatuated with smooth non-sandy skin.
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No. 805040 ID: 636dcb

>>805031
How can his bread stand be more popular than your lotions? More importantly, how is he possibly more deserving of a spot than you? What has bread ever done for anyone?

Go talk with him. Buy a loaf of bread. He must be pulling some trickery, and we must try to expose him for his bread fraud?
>>
No. 805049 ID: 143250

Well, people do love the smell of bread... perhaps you should make a lotion that smells like bread? might lure people over to you!
>>
No. 805052 ID: 094652

Convince the baker to start a small guild, look out for the other, less fortunate merchants on the block. He'll still make the majority of profits and gain control of the local area, allowing him to build larger advertisements and get even more profit, but at benefit to luring in wealthier customers who want the full avenue of services. Call it a Super-Market.
>>
No. 805053 ID: a363ac

>>805040
wait a sexond... bread fraud! He must be baking metal rods into his breads to increase the weight and make them more desirable.
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No. 805061 ID: 6f97db

March forth and tell them. Tell them that bread may fill their stomach, but your ointments will fill their heart. Tell them that if they really wanted to please themselves, then they could only really do so with nothing other than what you're offering. Love in its purest form. Self-atonement and salvation mixed together to produce a miracle. Also, free samples.
>>
No. 805066 ID: 094652

>>805053
I doubt that VERY much. Metal rods would be more valuable than bread, never mind the risk of a lynch mob if they find dirt or bugs or diseased flesh inside those loaves.
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No. 805187 ID: 4e9a6d

>>805031

Set his shop on fire.
>>
No. 805188 ID: 3abd97

>>805187
Molatov cocktail with an oil based lotion would work.

Or if we want to do something subtler: pour some lotion in his next batch of bread so it tastes terrible and he loses a ton of business.
>>
No. 805203 ID: 3373e2

This might not be the best town to sell Lotion, I mean everyone's poor and either a thief or a begger. Are you sure you wouldn't be better off going on the road or at least to a more wealthy town?
>>
No. 805211 ID: 8d4593

Realize suddenly that everyone around here is covered in fur and therefore needs no lotion.

THE ONLY ANSWER IS TO DEFUR EVERYONE!
>>
No. 805731 ID: acd563
File 149652491175.png - (163.69KB , 500x500 , Lotion Seller Quest6.png )
805731

As thoughts of chaos and destruction raged inside Lotion Seller, she began to set a plan to stop the bread seller’s business by fire, force, fury or whatever is malicious and starts with F. The breaking point was at hand no more alliances and devious convincing methods between neighbor merchants one way or another she was going to take down that smooth talking weaver and once she did, she’ll make sure to get all that sweet LOOT! And I’m not just talking about the patty cakes.
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No. 805732 ID: acd563
File 149652494688.png - (126.22KB , 500x500 , Lotion Seller Quest7.png )
805732

With dead bugs and old roots the pestilent plague tenuously crafted by Lotion Seller was beginning to take shape, as more grotesque ingredients she mixed made their way into the cauldron, a brown greyish formula that can only be described as the mother of all stenches it would only take one tear of such nightmare to make the most fearless and bravest army live run away to the nearest communal showers. It was a masterpiece of arcane work, chemical warfare at its finest! As her delicate claws finish the last touches a cork seals the monster from leaking away. Now… she needs to plan her next move, patience, chaos is at work…
>>
No. 805733 ID: 143250

ACHOOO! *drops bottle*
>>
No. 805734 ID: be0718

Better test it first.
>>
No. 805735 ID: b88e47

Who the fuck is staring at you?
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No. 805737 ID: 6f97db

Now that we have the satanic essence, we need to satisfy the following contitions:
-We need to deliver it unnoticed
-We need to apply it in such a way that it won't be easily removed.

For instance, if we simply smeared it on a loaf of bread, the bread could easily be discarded. And if we'd be noticed smearing it all over the place, we'd get stigma from other city dwellers, which would hurt our own sales.

So yeah, for a maximum effect, the essence needs to be smeared on the Bread Seller's skin indirectly by us or something else.

Any ideas?
>>
No. 805738 ID: 094652

NO WITNESSES

Use it on the old beggar next to you
>>
No. 805739 ID: dd4df2

>>805732

Someone has borne witness to your concoction's creation. Shock! Dismay! How will you deal with this unexpected circumstance? What will you do about this wildcard witness?

No! Restrain yourself! Do not splash this poor fool in a panic with your unconventional unction! Maybe... maybe he can be used? He's been sitting beside you. Is he a neighboring merchant, or perhaps a vagrant, a street-beggar?
If he is a fellow merchant, perhaps he, too, can be convinced to see the benefit in making a move to remove a harsh competitor.

If he is a beggar in need, you could give him some coin and a promise of a lotion to make him more desirous than the bread seller's hot buns - if but he'll help you with this loathsome lotion's 'delivery'.
>>
No. 805746 ID: 3abd97

>>805732
Wait why is he staring at you, do you have a customer?!

Revenge will have to wait, put your sales face on, pronto.
>>
No. 805784 ID: a363ac

>>805732
A SPY! Throw a drop of the weapon in his face!
>>
No. 805842 ID: 493949

>>805732
Looks like your neighbor has become alarmed at your plan. Lets try to strike up a deal so he doesnt alert the athorities (if there is such a thing in this town), once the bread seller is out of the picture, well take over his stand and he can have our spot.
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No. 805861 ID: 6f97db

Wait, if Lotion Seller is a master at creating lotions, doesn't that mean she's also a master at dispensing them? That means, she should be able to do the following:

Lotion Seller should eject few drops of the stinky substance high into the air, the drops being elegantly carried by the wind, and landing right on the Bread Seller's face.

Yeah, that sounds reasonable. Well, in case we don't have such a skill, then go with >>805842
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No. 807870 ID: acd563

Dead quest, I'm not going to keep on with it, sorry
>>
No. 807873 ID: 91ee5f

>>807870
Awww.....
>>
No. 807910 ID: 8d4593

That was fast. Too bad, your art style was neat!
Thanks for letting us know, however.
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