Bored Max 2017/04/07(Fri)23:38 No. 794321 ID: cfe4f0
File 149163349575.png - (124.25KB , 1024x1024 , charselect.png )

Whatever the actual cause, the 'End of Nations' was 24 years ago. Current estimates put the population below a hundredth what it used to be and rising slowly, but humanity survived. Things are even looking comfortable, secure and prosperous where this story begins, in a little village called Fort Hippie. From past experience, you expect that when things look nice like this is when something goes really wrong.

Pick the starting character.
-sniper
-businessman
-scavenger

-Give me more information!

>>794321
Sniper. For hire. Strong moral principles; all the people you've taken out were evil to the core. You've had to refuse a job a couple of times because the target didn't deserve it, and on one memorable occasion, you ended up hired by the target.

Sniper. Redheaded, socially awkward math geek. You've been living a hillbilly existence with your Uncle, until the old man finally kicked off. You can shoot well enough to keep meat on the table all year. You've put down a couple poachers, too.

You've got 2 rifles. a bullpup .22 autoloader with a silencer for all god's rodentia, and a bolt-action .300 for out to a mile.

>>794321
Sniper.

Bored Max 2017/04/08(Sat)20:34 No. 794564 ID: cfe4f0
File 149170888617.png - (54.15KB , 1024x1024 , AliceStats1.png )

Alice Hildegard Weiss is twenty years old. She has a slim but athletic build, pale skin, shiny gray eyes, and a tragic past that helps lend her a mysterious air. She usually manages to deal with her social inexperience well, but her tendency to say nothing if she has nothing to say confuses people. Her bustline-length hair is generally wound up into a tightly braided hair-helmet. The best one word description of her is, "quiet."

Born in a resettled part of Newmarket, Ontario, Alice managed to live there peacefully for the first five and a quarter years of her life. Then, with little warning, raiders came and both her parents were killed trying to defend against the attack. Rescued from capture and slavery by, "Uncle Jim," they escaped north to a refugee camp that hadn't even been named yet when raiders attacked there too. Uncle Jim gave up on trying to have Alice live a normal life after it happened yet again at a third place. He decided it wasn't worth the risk to live in society anymore and took to the lands, using his JTF2 training and experience to live off the land while teaching Alice to be his spotter and co-sniper.

During those years, the closest Alice came to having a mother figure was one bandit that wisely avoided confrontation. She invited Alice and Jim to stay with her gang during the winters, which they mostly accepted. For the rest it was just her, Uncle Jim, trekking around in the wilderness, and a succession of laptops that they used up. The laptops were first and foremost used to look up maps, negotiate jobs and for Alice's education, but most of her recreation and social contact also came through those lifelines to the outside world. They went through fifteen different laptops as each died from the inescapable mud, water, and tumbling of Alice's life.

----

Alice begins play with a M24 that she has lovingly tended since taking it from the corpse of a stupid thug. There's also a Tac-50 A1-R2 in a locker with her name on it, but since there are no wild elephants in Canada to hunt she's only used that monster once. It exploded a moose's head on the second shot. Sadly, the hack-job, bullpup, .22 mess with integral suppressor she grew up using died a year and a half ago. She's still in mourning over her first gun.

What is her backup ranged weapon?
-Pistol, -Shotgun, -Rifle, or -Crossbow

Firearm options (add 2 if firearm):
-High Capacity Magazine
-Suppressor
-Scope
-Selectable Single/Burst/Full Auto
-Armour Piercing
-High Calibre
-Magnum

Crossbow options (add 2 if crossbow):
-Scope
-Adjustable Pull Weight
-Compound
-High Power Crank
-Full Frame Reinforcement (for ruggedness and use as a bludgeon)

How hazardous is Alice's Redhead Power?
-N/A, not a redhead.
-False alarm, thankfully only a dye job.
-Caution, a genuine auburn.
-Danger, she's got a visible red warning sign.
-Extreme danger, she's got a shiny, bright red warning sign!
--Hidden danger, dyed to avoid detection.

Quiet, socially awkward sniper. I like it, looks good.

>backup weapon
Let's say crossbow, adjustable pull, reinforced frame.

>redhead power
>-Caution, a genuine auburn.

Extreme danger!

Crossbow with a high power crank and reinforced frame. I like the idea of lugging around a monster of a crossbow.

Pistol with a high-cap mag and selective fire, for when shit gets too close for comfort. Dual primary weapons might be amusing to think about rolling with but...awkward to lug around and too damn slow to swap back and forth in emergencies. Plus ammo weight issues. A machine pistol offers a nice option for suppression at close range, with the mags and cartridges presenting less load and bulk than shotgun shells, crossbow bolts, or rifle magazines.

Also, auburn for hair.

Shotgun, high caliber, armor piercing.

N/A, not a redhead.

Extreme Red.

I'm not seeing a lot of superfluous muscle, so I'm thinking Revolver or Pistol. A .44 Dan Wesson with a low powered scope would be a capable combat weapon. [Revolver, scope, magnum]

>>794564
>What is her backup ranged weapon?
-Pistol
-High Calibre
-Selectable Single/Burst/Full Auto
Guess who found a fancy Stechkin! Guts of the APB Silent that accepts Parabellum (no scrabbling for Makarov casings), in the body of the APS so it can accept normal loaded rounds.


>How hazardous is Alice's Redhead Power?
-Extreme danger, she's got a shiny, bright red warning sign!
I thought green hair is the danger...

>>794626
The Stetchkin wouldn't be high caliber. but with a 20 round mag, it would be high capacity. Acceptable for me.

>>794626
>>794628
Point accurate, 9x18mm is not a high calibre round, but 20 rounds in a machine pistol definitely is high capacity. Do you want to change your vote to high capacity instead of calibre?

>>794581
i'm seconding all of this.

Bored Max 2017/04/10(Mon)18:45 No. 794927 ID: cfe4f0
File 149187514830.png - (58.27KB , 1024x1024 , AliceStats2.png )

Both the choices picked with three(-ish) votes are good choices, so I'll be generous and almost give both.

----

Alice loved her .22 rifle, even though the maintenance was as expensive as the ammo. It was fun and surprisingly useful against human opponents, but it was a luxury. The sad reality of post-crash economics is that replacing spent anything can be difficult. There are usually hard limits on how much ammo there is available to buy in any one place, if there's ammo for sale at all to a drifter.

Enter The Beast. It's a beat-up workhorse of a crossbow with a steel carry handle at the shooting end, and reinforced to be usable as a clubbing weapon at both ends. It also has a hand crank at the end of the firing groove for winching that string into place. This thing will continue shooting bolts accurately after being used for blunt force execution, if you don't damage the bow or string, or get too much blood and guts in the important parts. The biggest problem with it is that it's too awkward and heavy for most people to comfortably carry both it and a rifle, but that's what friends are for, right?

Alice lost her old one in the ambush where Uncle Joe died, unfortunately. The Replacement Beast matches the original very acceptably, except that it technically belongs to Lt. Snow. Alice borrows it often, but once in a while he gets bitchy about how she's bagged more with it than he has.

*

Shit happens, and Alice knows this as well as anyone. Two of the shittier problems a sniper can have are hostiles finding and sneaking up on her, and hostiles accidentally stumbling into her hiding spot. Varying and unforeseen combat hazards demand flexibility in how to respond to them, but thankfully the very nature of this threat suggests a useful solution: Short range, variable, easily-redirected firepower with decent capacity for total stopping power.

Alice isn't fully satisfied, but for now a machine pistol is her choice of a backup weapon. Finding ones in useful condition is a challenge, trying to test out and find one she actually likes has been the work of years. The one she has for now is this Nth-generation Stechkin sized for Luger, an unlicensed knockoff with stamping in Chinese, and a folding wire-stock. She kept that one because it works with the stock still folded, fits in an armpit holster, has surprisingly decent dirt tolerance, and came with these weird, overlength, 24-bullet mags. She wishes the calibre were higher and the accuracy better for more range, stopping power, and tactical flexibility, but there's only so much you can ask for that fits in an armpit holster. It works, and it won't break her arm like a shotgun if she can't brace it.

*

What is her custom hand-to-hand weapon?
-Staff, -Haft, -Handle, or -Chain

Main option (add 1 or choose 2 from next list):
-Multiple Blades
-Long Blade
-Heavy Blade

Smaller options (add 2 or choose 1 from prior list):
-Blunt
-Spiked
-Bladed
-Set of

(E.G. Handle + Heavy Blade = a dangerous kukri -- or -- Haft + Blunt + Set of = a pair of extendo-bars)

Alice's libido is best described with:
-Alice knows sex is stupid, and boring.
-Alice knows sex is stupid, but necessary.
-Alice is a pervert.

>What is her custom hand-to-hand weapon?
Staff + multiple blades = lajatang

>Alice's libido is best described with:
>-Alice knows sex is stupid, and boring.
Someone's gonna have to work at drawing out the socially awkward silent weirdo before they have a chance of getting into her pants.

Of course what she 'knows' isn't necessarily absolutely true, but it's what she believes, at least at first.

Haft + Heavy blade = Machete
Sex is stupid and boring. She's a quiet weirdo after all.

I see no reason to go for anything larger than a baton or a big knife.

Sex is stupid and boring, and Alice is probably a virgin.
I'm not sure how she'd feel about watching it through crosshairs, though...

handle, set of, blunt = rebar clubs.
easy to handle, easy to replace, easy to break an arm or a skull, ribbed for their pleasure.

like all redheads, alice is a pervert. any redhead who denies it is a terrible liar and the rest are too busy being perverts to have any additional commentary on the matter.

>>794927
>What is her custom hand-to-hand weapon?
-Staff
-Blunt
-Set of
Handy pry/crowbars, also good for giving others a good whack.

>Alice's libido is best described with:
-Alice knows sex is stupid, and boring.
-Alice is a pervert.
Alice's opinion is sex is something tat happens to other people. But watching it through a scope (whether on a rifle or the one she carries around in lieu of binocs)...

If allowable, handle + multiple blades = one of these babies here with its extra bit kits and driver extension. http://www.leatherman.com/surge-3.html

Might not be the best for dedicated combat, but the added utility will be a hell of a lot more useful for many different situations. Blade length is around 4"/10cm, and they're plenty fucking sharp right out of the box. ...Yeah, guess how I found that one out.

And I'll second these two on the libido aspect.
>>794967 >>794981

Suggestion 2017/04/11(Tue)17:16 No. 795118 ID: 5b93d3
File 149195621275.jpg - (59.98KB , 532x524 , targetinsight.jpg )

>>794321
Sorry not sorry.

>>795118
LOL! Anon44, is that you?

Workin' on update, shouldn't take too much longer.

Bored Max 2017/04/11(Tue)18:58 No. 795159 ID: cfe4f0
File 149196228695.png - (63.79KB , 1024x1024 , AliceStats3.png )

-Lajatang: Interesting, but too situation-specific for Alice. She is also more the type to bring a gun to a swordfight than the reverse.

-Machete: That's decently practical, but a little too big and heavy for standard kit. She'll have one but she won't usually carry it.

-Baton or big knife: Neither did I, which is why I asked the question hoping for awesome, hilarious, or unexpectedly good answers.

-Rebar clubs: Rebar is less common than you might expect. The fungus has been slowly digesting uninhabitable ruins with no loot worth taking in them. That includes ruined roads and compromised, reinforced concrete structures. Also, in a lot of cases the rebar in reinforced concrete has a lifetime of two or three decades before it's a rusty mess that starts splitting apart the concrete it's in. Two decades is an important number here because it has been longer than that since the world ended.

-Crowbar: You'd think that a nice and durable prybar of some kind would be a good general tool for navigating the post apocalypse, wouldn't you? Not so much unless you spend a lot of time cracking apart ruins for loot. A better choice for the scavenger class.

-Leatherman: Multitool in deerskin pouch get! *Zelda-style item acquisition riff*

*

Alice also has a machete, a pair of collapsible batons, a bunch of different knives including practical ones for hunting, skinning and butchering, a large, grooved and serrated intimidation-knife, and two different sizes of clawed prybar--0.61m and 1.02m--in the cache of loot in her room. There are other things in that cache, and in other caches: Alice is a bit of a packrat for things she thinks are useful but not useful enough to carry with her. These items will be available for equipping, but Alice must be convinced there's a good reason to carry them while she has access.

Starting libido trait determined. Starting character traits set, Alice Hildegard Weiss prepared. Let us begin this story.

----

Chapter 1: An Ordinary Day

You wake up before dawn, like you do in most of the year. You leave your room to use the facilities, and wash the sleep from your face and your consciousness while you're there. It takes a moment to redirect the habit of expecting to work the moment you wake up, and steer the impulse towards exercise.

You go back to your room and take a bottle from the case of bottled beer. After carefully breaking the wax seal on a bottle, you open it and quickly down it for the energy, along with a few sips of cool water from the thermos you filled last night. Then you quickly braid up your hair, change into sweatpants and a sportsbra, and do a basic yoga routine. Once you're all stretched and warmed up, you add socks, steeltoe boots, the Stechkin and your light jacket, then go for a three kilometer run on turf inside the perimeter of Fort Hippie. You have to open up the jacket slightly, but it is cool enough in the morning mist that you are in that wonderful place between too cold and sweaty-warm while running. Ten minutes later you finish off the thermos, feeling awake, alive, and pretty good.

Next is a shower. The sunrise starts to brighten the east horizon as you get to the showers, hoping there's nobody else there. Sadly, your wish isn't granted, just like it normally isn't. You have to endure being eyed up on the way in and out.

Back to your room to change once more, re-braiding your hair, then dressing in clean underwear, brown jeans, a t-shirt, your spring jacket left open, white socks, your brown leather hiking boots, and a brown baseball cap with neckflap. You then holster the Stechkin on your left side like normal, slide your Slate phone into your jacket's right inside pocket, add leather gloves, cloth workgloves, and two pairs of latex gloves to the buttoned pockets of your jacket, and finish equipping with your multitool on your belt front right, like normal.

Then it's time for breakfast at the common mess. Two apples, oatmeal with enough cinnamon and ginger it would hurt other people, and mint tea. While eating you plan out what to do with your day.

Alice's plan is:
-Find Snow, borrow my crossbow, go hunt.
-Blue Smoke has a little difficulty keeping his eyes off me, but the old geezer is harmless and I need to practice machine shop skills.
-It could be funny and a little bit useful to sit in on basic marksmanship drills, but MWO Singh would try to guilt trip me for not helping him run the class.
-Check in with the office, earning enough credit with the leadership could help me get my own Replacement Beast.
-Go to Gloria's bar and club, it's the place where idle people belong here and I've never really tried this "day off" thing before.
-___________ <----If you have a better idea not on the list, go ahead and write it in.

Alice hears people talking about her.
-She knows better than to listen in, yuck.
-She can't help it, they're talking about her.

Go to the office. Money makes the post-apocalyptic world go around. And listen in.

>>795159
>enough ginger it would hurt other people
giggity giggity giggity.

keep on top of your machine shop skills. better to get the practice while you can then wish you had it when you can't.

>Fort Hippie
So, given up on the loner thing, for the moment?

>what do
Let's check in with the office. If they don't have anything for you you can always try something else for the day, and you still earn some points for showing up and offering.

>-She can't help it, they're talking about her.
Advantage of being quiet is no one ever really notices you're listening. And tactical situational awareness is important.

Even if it is Yuck sometimes.

>>795166
>So, given up on the loner thing, for the moment?

I could give you a quick answer now, or we can reveal this in the narrative later. The two-to-three word answer is, "It's complicated."

Equipment check first. Go through weapons and the rest of the usual kit to make sure everything's cleaned and functioning smoothly to minimize chances of failure. If one takes care of one's gear, it'll always return the favor.

After that, check in with the office. Can't go about being unproductive.

No harm in listening in on the chatter, never know when something interesting might be mentioned. Head clear. Mouth shut. See much. Say little.

Watch out, Ted: I HAVE AN OPINION!

It's bad form to make our character socially avoidant and isolated and have her suddenly proactive with the first group that has something to say. Even if she WANTS to listen in, socializing is not our skill set.

I think Alice is likely to practice conservation of effort to get to her comfort zone, which is out in the woods with a lens. So FIND SNOW.

Every other option is interacting with multiple humans, which is best avoided unless we have no other options.

>>795204
Don't think of it as socializing. Think of it as seeing if your CO / landlord has anything for you to do. I mean, it's not like we're going there to talk. Any more than we have to.

>>795183
Narrative is fine. That was just a possible prompt to get her to reflect on it. Obviously stuff happened.

Bored Max 2017/04/12(Wed)15:22 No. 795306 ID: cfe4f0
File 149203577890.png - (74.08KB , 432x366 , eyes5.png )

As you continue eating oatmeal and build up that nice, pleasant, spicewarmth you listen to the people talking about you.

"That creepy girl that always covers herself up? Except for the way her ass fills those jeans, those man's jeans, she might as well be wearing a burka."
"Well I think she's red hot, and I mean so much more than her hair."
"Isn't she flat? Nice ass, but flat as an eight year old isn't my thing."
"You oblivious dickhead, she's wearing a sportsbra just like I am. Also, you two shouldn't be talking about her like this, she doesn't like that kind of attention."
"Don't you shush me, there's no way she's listening from there. I saw her hurrying into and out of the shower a couple times, putting on and taking off a terrycloth robe. She's got nice, perky Bs, they might even be Cs."
"Get out of here."
"You would pay to see her do a strip show, Brand. I definitely would."
"Is this a first lesbian crush I'm hearing about? Do I have to warn your boyfriend?"
"Second, and I'm pretty sure I'm doomed to unrequited love here, big dramatic sigh, and cue hopeless pining."
"Are you sure that's love you're feeling, instead of fear? Hot or not, that's an apex predator of the lethal kind. I'd be worried she'd devour me after sex."
"You two are lucky she doesn't actually seem to be paying attention, she gave me a death glare one time she caught me staring. I couldn't move, couldn't fucking breathe."

Annoyance level has increased to definitely annoyed. Yellow alert status.

Well, there goes your appetite. You decide to finish your breakfast anyway because you don't like to waste decent food, and you don't want to lose muscle either.

Trying to get a hold of your nerves you focus, stop listening in, and think of something else. You ponder your weapon and tool maintenance, you're probably due to replace the barrel on the M24 within a thousand shots. You don't want to re-sharpen the machete yet because it would mostly be a waste of blade longevity, but it was noticeably harder to cut things with it the last time you used it.
(Alice is conscientious about maintenance. Some disorganized slackers might say obsessed.)

After putting away your breakfast service you wander over to the bunker, and into the dispatch office. Before you can even open your mouth the psychic Splendor points at you and says, "Day off! If you absolutely need something productive to do then go drag Snow out hunting, he's been drinking too much lately and we could use more pelts for trade to Waterloo. Or go learn something and make friends by helping out somewhere, whatever." That was a pretty unequivocal dismissal.

Ugh... that's an awkward thought. You like Snow just fine to talk to him, and he hardly eyes you up at all. On the other hand, you're not keen on the idea of spending all day out in the bush with the town's biggest manslut. Maybe you're not giving him enough credit though: Lieutenant Snow is a full, two-star Lieutenant, and you're quite sure that Colonel Hellfire has low tolerance for incompetence.

You start wandering out of the bunker in the direction of Gloria's establishment. That's your best guess where to find Snow if he's awake, or other leads and advice on what to do around here. On the other hand, Splendor thinks you should have a day off, and she is a psychic.

Alice's *revised* plan is:
-Find Snow, borrow my crossbow, go hunt.
-Try to drag him out hunting too, while I'm at it.
-Go to Gloria's bar and club and just hang out, it's the place where idle people belong here and I've never really tried this "day off" thing before.
-Blue Smoke has a little difficulty keeping his eyes off me, but the old geezer is harmless and I need to practice machine shop skills.
-It could be funny and a little bit useful to sit in on basic marksmanship drills, but MWO Singh would try to guilt trip me for not helping him run the class.
-___________ <----If you have a better idea not on the list, go ahead and write it in.

There's someone staring at your ass!
-It's not worth it.
-I'm gonna glare right back!

>>795306
>Alice's *revised* plan is:
-Find Snow, borrow my crossbow, go hunt.
-Try to drag him out hunting too, while I'm at it.

Alice seems like the "yessir, day off as ordered sir" type.

>There's someone staring at your ass!
-I'm gonna glare right back!
Counter-battery fire!

>Except for the way her ass fills those jeans, those man's jeans
The world ended. Who can afford to be picky about the cut of their clothes? Availability and practicality trump everything else, and unless your survival plan is sleeping with someone in a position of power, fashionable isn't practical.

>actually a lot of interest in you in that conversation
>There's someone staring at your ass!
Ugh. Why? You can't be that hot, can you? Is it that you're new? Is disinterest an aphrodisiac?

Give em a glare, but telegraph it slightly so you catch them mid-stumble trying to act like they weren't when you catch em.

>Day off!
>-Go to Gloria's bar and club and just hang out, it's the place where idle people belong here and I've never really tried this "day off" thing before.
Well, orders, sort of. And if it goes badly, maybe they won't make you do it again. (Maybe there's a pool table or dart board or something sniper skills translates to).

>Alice's *revised* plan is:
Work work. Get crossbow, get Snow, bring both hunting. If feeling talkative, maybe teach the guy how to git gud with it a little so he doesn't bitch so much.

>There's someone staring at your ass!
Don't glare, just stare. Stare without blinking. Then slowly raise a hand, deploy tactical middle finger, and move on as though nothing out the ordinary occurred.

Bored Max 2017/04/13(Thu)21:06 No. 795702 ID: cfe4f0
File 149214278996.png - (41.39KB , 217x581 , meetGloria.png )

You spin around in the direction of the person who is stalking you, to catch him in the act and give him your best glare! It turns out he was only watching you out of the corner of his eye, at most. It's still suspicious that he's following you though, so you frown at him a little. He notices after a moment, and turns to look at you with a raised eyebrow that lowers back down into a sympathetic smile.

"Having a bad morning?" the stranger asks. He's a blond man only as tall as yourself, dressed in a purple T-shirt with a pattern of rainbow-coloured figures on it, black slacks, and a pair of sneakers. As you continue looking, you resolve the rainbow-coloured figures into a varied pattern of male and female sex symbols, in all possible combinations of three symbols together. You have to concentrate to read, "I love threesomes!" written across the chest in pink. You quickly look away.

"I know, isn't this a great shirt?" he asks, then adds, "Oh, uh, right, you might not remember me, but I'm Spade. Pleased to meet you again, Alice was it? We've gotta get you a proper name, we can work on that. If you're headed to Gloria's I'll buy you breakfast."

You can't even look at him, but that is where you're going. You awkwardly walk with him while not quite walking with him, but this doesn't seem to bother the man. It's not coming to you who this guy is: You're quite sure you've never seen this shirt before, and the man himself does not stick out in your memory. At least he doesn't seem to be too physically threatening.

As you approach the place, Spade speaks up and says, "Don't worry, I remember you're the shy type. Maybe a little social anxiety too? I'll make an entrance, and then while everyone is distracted by my flaming magnificence you can sneak in and do your damage."

You slow down in confusion, wondering what that even means. Spade forges ahead into a dramatic gesture, swings both doors open and proclaims, "Greetings fabulous people, and good morning! Rejoice, for I have arrived!"

You hear Snow's voice doing something halfway between an angry growl and a pained whine as he responds, "Be quiet, you horrible asshole. It is way too early for my hangover to take that noise, and you also need to turn down the gay on that shirt."

"I knew you'd like it. Usual for me would you please, Gloria?" Spade responds in a much quieter tone as he walks in and the doors swing shut. Ka-click, klack, the doors latch closed, and the inside of Gloria's place is blocked from view once more. At least you know what Spade meant now.

You creep up to the doors and try to muster some courage for entering. Peeking in you see Fluffy, the bouncer, wearing a silly, puffy, French chef hat as he delivers a steaming plate of eggs, bacon, tomato, hash and toast to one of the other customers sitting at the bar. Gloria is bending forward handing Snow his coffee, slowly, so that he has plenty of time to get a good look down her apron. People should be staring at Gloria, not me, you think as you pause in the doorway. Then you remember to stop staring at her yourself.

One of three lesbian crushes identified, Gloria the bartendress. One of two straight crushes identified, Lieutenant Snow.

What does Alice do to steady her nerves before entering?
-Grab my gun and take a couple deep breaths, then try to walk in like it's no big deal.
-Sneak in and inch my way along the wall until I arrive at the seat at the end of the bar against the wall, where I can watch everyone.
-Sneak away and hide for five minutes before coming back.
-Can't handle it, wait until Spade leaves to talk to him.
-__________ <---Go ahead and suggest something, but Alice has limits on what she's willing to try.

Alice aims to sit down:
-At the end of the bar against the wall, where I can watch everyone else. This is where I would prefer to sit, if I really have to go in.
-Beside Snow, talking to Snow is why I'm here.

>We've gotta get you a proper name, we can work on that
You've already got a name!

>"I love threesomes!" written across the chest in pink.
Terrible. Gross. Adding more people would makes it a bigger awkward mess. (Unless this allows one of them to hide or escape)?

Still I guess he can't be completely terrible if he volunteered to provide a tactical distraction to cover your insertion.

>Gloria is bending forward handing Snow his coffee, slowly, so that he has plenty of time to get a good look down her apron
You 100% sure that's for his benefit? There are exactly two people looking her way right now, and he's only one of them.

>what do
>-Grab my gun and take a couple deep breaths, then try to walk in like it's no big deal.
Your weapon centers you. And a proper infiltration means trying to act normal and low key. The point is to not do anything to draw undue attention once the distraction has draw it elsewhere. Overt sneaking would draw more attention.

-At the end of the bar against the wall, where I can watch everyone else. This is where I would prefer to sit, if I really have to go in.
Never sit with your back to a door.

...and hey, day off means you should be comfortable, right?

>Sneak in and inch my way along the wall until I arrive at the seat at the end of the bar against the wall, where I can watch everyone.
Yeh. You can't just walk up to Snow, he might try to talk to you.

Ambush him (with a request) as he gets up to go.

>Grab my gun and take a couple deep breaths, then try to walk in like it's no big deal.
>Beside Snow, talking to Snow is why I'm here.
The plan that cannot possibly go wrong! God himself could not sink this plan.

Spade needs to be spayed. That is all.


>-Sneak in and inch my way along the wall until I arrive at the seat at the end of the bar against the wall, where I can watch everyone.

Probably the best approach, also limits possibilities of unwanted personal contact or people trying to play pickpocket.


>-At the end of the bar against the wall, where I can watch everyone else. This is where I would prefer to sit, if I really have to go in.

Best to wait to approach Snow until the dude's headache has subsided a little. Give a little time for some room to open up at the bar proper, get a drink and open negotiations afterward. That'll let the man have some time to get his brain under control and keeps being bothered by others to a minimum. Also means being able to watch both Snow and Gloria without being noticed, but that's hardly the primary objective of keeping oneself under the radar, right?

Keeping your cool is most important right now, you can't afford to mess up this early.

-Sneak in and inch my way along the wall until I arrive at the seat at the end of the bar against the wall, where I can watch everyone.

-At the end of the bar against the wall, where I can watch everyone else. This is where I would prefer to sit, if I really have to go in.

Bored Max 2017/04/14(Fri)20:05 No. 795969 ID: cfe4f0
File 149222553687.png - (84.46KB , 374x496 , pencilnotepad.png )

>>795929 Nicely said. He would probably lose his energy and cheerfulness if he lost his nuts though, so medical science needs a less drastic alternative course of treatment.

----

Your right hand twitches towards the left side of your jacket, but you pause and put your hand back down. A bouncer's job is hard enough dealing with drunks, you don't want to add to Fluffy's problems by being excessively suspicious while sober. The thing that clinches it is that you don't want to either be kicked out or have the Stechkin taken away. Besides, slow and steady can win this race, you just have to finesse your way into it.

You sneak your way through the door, and carefully ease it closed and hold the latch so that it makes no sound as it latches. Then you slide your way across the wall on the left. Thankfully, at 1.7m tall you're short enough that you don't have to hunch to stay under the level of the windows that light the room. To minimize odds of detection you also keep your eyes mostly closed. You know they tend to shine silver in the darkness, and be quite striking to anyone looking your way. You've seen it in the mirror.

Slow and steady, slow and steady, you reach the corner, then open your eyes to peek. Unfortunately, Fluffy caught that. He looks your way... and blinks twice in confusion before just shaking his head and turning back to the grill and stovetop he's tending.

Embarrassment is rising but anxiety is falling, as you continue with the second leg of your journey. You do this part more quickly. You seem to arrive at your target unnoticed. Then it's just a matter of sliding onto the barstool, this is easy because it has been bolted right onto the floor and it can't squeak.

After two minutes of waiting and deep breath calming exercises, Fluffy turns around to scan things. He spots you again, then steps over to Gloria, taps her twice on the shoulder, and leans over to her ear. She immediately looks at you, then does a doubletake, and finishes up her reactions with a facepalm. Smooth self, very smooth. She tilts her her head back towards Fluffy, probably saying something, and then reaches under the counter. Standing back up, she walks towards you with a smile and puts a pencil and a lined notepad down in front of you.

"I didn't even notice you until Fluffy pointed you out. That has to be a record for the quietest entrance anybody has ever made here," Gloria says. She pulls a Slate phone out of her apron (that looks much less beat up than yours) and asks, "Do you have a Slate phone tied into the network here yet?"

You reach into your jacket with your left hand, pull yours out, and then say, "Uh, yes."

"The menu's nothing too fancy or unexpected, but if you go to..."
"I've seen it. I've already, uh, had breakfast, but, uh, I could go for a pear and something ice cold."
"Alcoholic? Do you like mint?"
"Yes, and definitely."
"I can make you a Canadian whiskey mint julep. Sound good?"
"Better give me, like, an entire jug of water on the side. I don't drink much except beer for energy."

Gloria gives you a dazzling smile, or maybe it's just a normal smile, and says something. You nod without paying attention to it, and she turns around and walks away. They should be staring at Gloria's ass, not mine, you think, and then remember to look away. Then you look up, away from Snow's shoulder and bicep, and stare up at the ceiling with your blush getting worse. You hate feeling this stupid.

What's next?
-Wait here, die of embarrassment. Continue as an undead horror, and... something.
-Bang my head against the bar, quietly. Do this until either I pass out, I start bleeding, or I can get my act together.
-There's nobody between me and Snow at the bar. I only have to slide over three seats undetected and then I'll be right next to my target, ready to strike.
-This is stupid, I'm stupid. I should just get up, walk over to Snow, say hello, and sit down like a normal person.
-__________ <---Alice isn't comfortable with any of the previous four ideas, try to give her a better one if you like.

People are staring at me!
-Who? Where? Are they armed!?
-No they aren't, they're too busy eating a greasy breakfast and nursing their hangovers.
-Try to look around like a normal person, instead of a paranoid freak.

>"Do you have a Slate phone tied into the network here yet?" [For the menu]
Oh geeze, I thought she was about to ask for your number.

>-Who? Where? Are they armed!?
Probably. I mean, if you were the only person in the fort's bar carrying a concealed weapon I'd be surprised. These are nominally your allies, right? If you were the only one armed here that would probably be bad for your long term survival. The fort has to be able to defend itself.

>-Try to look around like a normal person, instead of a paranoid freak.
First rule of paranoia: don't let them know you know they're out to get you. Play your cards close to the chest.

>-No they aren't, they're too busy eating a greasy breakfast and nursing their hangovers.
Probably. If anyone's looking in your direction it's because you were talking to Gloria a minute ago.

>What's next?
>-__________ <---Alice isn't comfortable with any of the previous four ideas, try to give her a better one if you like.
Well, first up, stop staring at the ceiling. That makes you stand out, and hurts your situational awareness. It's one thing to defy the horror trope and remember to look up, it's another to keep your eyes skyward.

It's a bar, right? All you're expected to do is sit there. Like getting ready for a shot. You can look around, take they lay of things, prepare.

Test Snow's survival instinct. See how long you can observe him without him getting itchy and looking around.

At this point, it's chicken. Whoever gets up first, loses.

Bored Max 2017/04/15(Sat)23:16 No. 796202 ID: cfe4f0
File 149232341521.png - (44.68KB , 271x392 , glass1.png )

So, you died... except you didn't actually die. It just feels like you're dying of embarrassment as your face goes a slightly pinker shade than your hair. You avoid ruining your stealth further by suppressing the impulse to bang your head against the bar. At a glance however, your embarrassment is a drama nobody else is watching.

Snow doesn't notice your gaze, at all. His hangover is obviously killing his awareness, and Spade chattering away on the other side of him is a pretty good distraction on top. You look away when you catch your gaze settling on his manly ass. The other people besides the staff in the bar are all having a greasy breakfast: Some look more alert, and are doing it for the energy to work. Most are obviously doing it to help tame their hangovers. The place is pretty quiet aside from Spade's babble, Snow's mostly-grunted responses, and the sounds of people pushing down food. Once in a while an errant slurp noise rises above the dim rumble.

You start observing what people are having idly now, as your embarrassment and blush fade. The food is mostly tea, eggs, sausage, porkchops, bacon, brown toast, hash, and various fruits and fruit preserves. Snow and one other guy are so hosed they've each got poutine and a bloody mary for breakfast. One weirdo is having a grilled cheese sandwich with bacon even. Scratch that, that is more yummy than weird, you want one later.

Gloria seems to have you pegged already; in silence the drink arrives on a coaster, and the pear is delivered on a tea saucer that gets put on another coaster. She's carefully leaning forward to do this and... oh dear. Gloria's cleavage is so much more distracting up close, and displayed with a wink aimed at you. As she leaves with a butt-wiggle, you take your first sip to cover your stare. You feel the flush intensify on your face again, but you're not even that embarrassed because Gloria obviously meant you to look. The drink is too-sweet, but enjoyably-minty, you'll ask if she can make it without sugar next time.

You continue watching as Snow stares resolutely down at his bowl, very slowly working on his breakfast one curd and fry at a time. A few other customers come in, but they mostly are grabbing smaller orders as takeout in lunchboxes. In a wave, nearly everybody leaves. As the door shuts, the remaining people here are you, Snow, Spade, Fluffy and Gloria.

The sound level has dropped down to a lot less, only some cleaning and eating sounds, dominated by Spade's voice. Your pear is finished, all of that sugary mint juice is in you, and you're sucking on mint candy now. Snow is dawdling over breakfast like he's got all the time in the world. He's actually chatting back with Spade in earnest as Gloria and Fluffy sit down and eat. "You would risk your baby for that?" is one of the decipherable snatches of response on Snow's end. You can make out the conversation better now that it isn't being obscured by as much noise, but it's still difficult because it's mumbled and drunk-slurred, and he's also turned away from you.

You feel your Slate wiggle. The gadget is set to minimum-buzz vibrate, so that nobody can hear it and only you can feel it. This is working acceptably. You retrieve it to see that Spade has sent you a text:

"Be my wingman. He not drunk enough yet."

Alice is sugar buzzed. Sugar and caffeine do a lot more to her, and a lot worse to her, than alcohol.

How do you respond?
-Don't. I don't want to encourage Spade to text me if this is the first message he sends. How'd he even get my number?
-"No."
-"Too woman for wingman."
-"Bribe me lots or no."
-"Mine bitch it is on."
-"Told to make him sober."
-____________ <---Alice is better at texting without anxiety than talking, but she'd only type proper sentences with an actual keyboard.

Is it time to do something else besides sit in our corner yet?
-There's an unused dartboard over there, going for it.
-Pool! I wanna play with balls and a stick.
-I should grab the deck of cards on that table over there, bring it back to my corner, and start shuffling. I could earn at poker, if I can get people to play.
-I should quietly sit down next to Snow, see how long it takes him to notice. Everyone else here is in on the secret of me being here, it could be funny.
-Let's not be a bitch to the guy with the hangover. I can walk over and say hello like a normal person now, I think.
-Nah, I like it here. Too close and I can't get a nice, all-over look at the pretty boy and the pretty girl.
-____________ <---Alice is finally a little more comfortable with this situation now that it's quieter. Silence helps her be more confident and adventurous, and so does the booze and the sugar.

That drink was nice, and I've got enough local credit to indulge.
-One is enough.
-More!
-No sugar this time, that stuff is terrible for my aim.

>That drink was nice, and I've got enough local credit to indulge.
>-One is enough.
You don't want to do more than get buzzed. It's still morning, and you might need to be able to shoot straight before the day is over. Can't trust that Murphy won't pull something later.

>How'd he even get my number?
You had to tie your phone into the local network, right? There's gotta be a registry or list of that somewhere, which would be accessible tot he tech-savvy or social-savvy. Or heck, he might have just asked someone.

>[Snow]'s actually chatting back with Spade in earnest
>"Be my wingman. He not drunk enough yet."
Spade is trying to pick up a hungover Snow? Hmm. That... might be kind of funny, whether it works or fails horribly.

I think we should just go along with it and see what happens. It's not like Alice needs to be a good wingman. Wingwoman. Or is even sure how to be.

>-Let's not be a bitch to the guy with the hangover. I can walk over and say hello like a normal person now, I think.

>darts
Proooobably a bad idea if you're already buzzed.

>>796202
>How do you respond?
-"No."

>Is it time to do something else besides sit in our corner yet?
-Pool! I wanna play with balls and a stick.
Alice could probably do decently as a pool shark with her Aim and Math scores.

>That drink was nice, and I've got enough local credit to indulge.
-No sugar this time, that stuff is terrible for my aim.
If sugar gives Alice the jitters, a little more alcohol should balance that out.

>>796278
I can support the pool at least, I almost voted for that originally.

Just respond to the text with ಠ_ಠ, nothing else needs to be said.

Head over to Snow and say hello normally afterward, no sense in pissing him off with sneaky games when the goal is to get the guy off his ass to go out innawoods. ...And that would be a better time to play the sneaky games anyway.

As for drinks, just get a fruit juice or water, something without booze in it. Save the alcohol for later in the evening when there's no more shit to do and it won't get in the way of being productive.

Bored Max 2017/04/16(Sun)21:23 No. 796403 ID: cfe4f0
File 149240302826.png - (39.13KB , 1038x592 , pooltable.png )

Spade's message doesn't deserve a real response, so you only send back a frowny face and continue sucking on your mint.
"Wont do or cant do?" he responds, while chatting with Snow at the same time.
"Dont know how," is what you text back to Spade, along with a tongue-out smiley.
Him sending, "Your perky butt is secret weapon," and a grin face annoys you enough to respond directly.

You lean back on your stool to look at Spade behind Snow, grab your crotch, give him the middle finger, and then kiss that middle finger. Spade grins and starts texting you back and forth again.

"Do want. Need BBD too bad. Please threesome or rain-check." "Rude gesture not offer pervert." "Proper date Saturday night?" "No date pervert." "Aww," and a crying face, gets quickly followed by, "How about you play a game with us?"
After thinking about it, you respond, "Never played pool. Want to learn."

"Hey Snow? It turns out that new girl Alice is coming to join us. I've invited her here, maybe play some pool. Are you up for that?"
"You always lose. Why would you want to play pool?"
"She wants to. Maybe she's never played before."
"When does she get here?"

Entrance stage left: You say, "Hi Snow," give him a hug from his left side, and sit down.
He just stares at you for a few seconds before asking, "How long ago did you get here?"
"Same time as Spade. Didn't notice at all, did you?" you answer. It's so good you almost giggle: Seing Snow look flustered is the good stuff.
"No. That is not good. I'll go chug a couple pitchers of water and splash my face with some more. Spade, show her how to play, and someone, please keep Spade from behaving too badly."
"Can do hon," Gloria says, and hands Snow the pitcher of water that was already sitting in front of him.

You take the opportunity to ask for another mint drink without any sugar. It would definitely be better to save having more sugar until after sundown, but more alcohol's not a bad idea. You take a healthy swig, and then take yourself and the glass over to the pool table with Spade.

You already know how the rules work from videogames, but you've never actually handled a cue before. You take off your jacket and hat, put them on a chair nearby, select the straightest cue from the rack on the wall, and get down to business. It hardly takes two minutes for Spade to describe all the kinds of shots skillful people can do, and for you to try them all in a practice game with him. Gloria calls out, "Nice guns!" to distract you from a shot, but with the extra booze you aren't so twitchy that screws you up. You keep going straight from the break, and win without Spade getting a single shot. The English shot is a little tricky and you want some more practice with those, but this really doesn't seem difficult. How do people miss these shots, at such a short range, indoors, and with nobody shooting back at them?

"I needed that!" Snow announces, looking a lot closer to normal. Water droplets sparkle on his face in the dim light, and the spill from chugging water and washing his face is now revealing that defined, dark, well-muscled chest he's got under his white T-shirt. He then complains, "Don't shoot like that! That's distracting!"

This leads to a small back and forth between you and Snow: "How else am I supposed to sight down the cue?" "Come on, no." "But...." "No!" "How?!?" "No!!"
Gloria interrupts to call out, "As long as it's not directly or specifically interfering with a shot, psychological warfare is fair game. Go on, show off that perky, spankable, rumpbubble! I could lend you a boobtube too!"

"If we're gonna have that in the game then we'd better have a bet that's worth it at least, eh? Here's what I want: I want you to take me out in the woods, and show me how you kill so damn much with that crossbow. Maybe teach me a little, or at least a couple pointers. What do you want if you win?"

You are smashed on sugar. You're not even slightly buzzed on alcohol.

High stakes betting, or not. What do you challenge Snow for?
-That's what he wants? I could go for that instead right now. *record scratch, scene change*
-No bet: This is my first real game. Let's make it a friendly game.
-Token bet: He picks up my tab here at Gloria's today.
-Modest bet: He has to let me borrow The Replacement Beast for multiple-day trips.
-More serious bet: He has to help me get my own Replacement Beast, in good working order, with two dozen acceptable bolts.
-____________ <---Alice is way to sugared-up to think straight, she could use a little help coming up with good things to shoot for.

Hahahahaha, Snow's distracted by my ass! Revenge, mister sexy arms!
-Fine, let's not be too flirty or nasty. I'll tie the jacket around my waist as a gesture of good faith and good sportswomanship.
-I'm warm, and nobody is here that I particularly mind staring at my ass except maybe Spade. I'm gonna play like this. If Snow has a problem then he shouldn't stare like a pervert.
-Sexy boobtube get! *Zelda-style item acquisition riff* T-shirt and sportsbra unequipped, sexy boobtube equipped. Level up distracting tits! Level up distracting abs!
-____________ <---What other tools, tricks, and techniques should Alice use to win?

>banter, flirting, hugs, 'psychological warfare'
>comfortable with all of the above
Wow, we get weird when we're high on pixie dust. From paranoid spook-butt to downright chipper.

(Also holy heck does no one in this fort ever get laid, the flirting is relentless and omnidirectional. Maybe something got in the water when the world ended?).

>betting
Well, you're going to win, but you'll probably end up showing snow how to shoot later anyways. I mean, that's a good thing, right? And you can probably get a favor in return for it.

I'd say the token bet. Maaaaybe the modest. Serious seems to be asking too much in one go for what this is.

Although if he's picking up the tab we're totally ordering a victory bacon sandwich or something after.

>dress code
>-I'm warm, and nobody is here that I particularly mind staring at my ass except maybe Spade. I'm gonna play like this. If Snow has a problem then he shouldn't stare like a pervert.
You can play with your coat off because you're comfortable like that. You don't need to go out of your way to show off past that.

Middle road also makes sense in that you're going to completely crush Snow at this anyways. Going all out cheating with distracting clothes is rubbing his face in it, but a little gives him a ability to save face and blame it on your butt and not lack of skill later.

>>796417
Gonna second this guy here. Especially on the sandwich. Mmmm. Bacon.

Bored Max 2017/04/17(Mon)21:38 No. 796614 ID: cfe4f0
File 149249030787.png - (8.20KB , 128x128 , 8ball.png )

>>796417 Flirting observed, received and performed very much has been well above norm. This has been for reasons that should mostly, or entirely, be something you can figure out yourself. :)

----

"We're betting now? Fine, let's keep it modest. You've gotta cover my tab, including one of those grilled cheese sandwiches with lots of bacon for lunch," you proclaim, thrusting one finger up into the air dramatically. You're nearly vibrating with excitement, and you can't hold in that huge grin.

"Does she look severely under the influence to you folks too?" Snow asks, looking towards Gloria.
"Plastered!" Spade answers with a grin to match your own.
"Completely hosed of some kind, not sure if it's all booze though," Fluffy considers out loud. He says this from over in the small kitchen area behind the bar, where he's already getting together the ingredients for your sandwich. Hey wait, you want that for lunch, not now! Oh good, he's only gathering it up in the fridge, taking off the gloves, and coming back.
"Far too alert, quick and steady for drunk to be my first guess. Definitely something," Gloria answers Snow, then turns to ask you, "Alice, sweetie, are you completely alright? You're not acting the way you did when you first arrived."

"Ssssssssugar!" you yell, literally bounce up and down (oh thank fuck that doesn't hurt your chest), and giggle a lot. You elaborate, "Don't worry, you don't have to ask me twice to go hunting. More arms for hauling back meat are always welcome, unless you scare everything away. But Snow's the one that's gonna lose I think. I don't need to play mind tricks, this game is eeeeeeasy."

Snow frowns at you, and says, "Alright. Show me. You get to break." He racks the balls up, packing them all into the top end of the triangle. He carefully lifts up the triangle without disturbing the arrangement, and turns back to look at you challengingly. "If you can make a good break from this, you deserve it," he states. He follows it up by actually smirking! Oh, the nerve!

Frowning with concentration, you know you have to get this shot aligned perfectly, make it as powerful as possible, and whip your cue out of the way for the bounce. This isn't complicated, and you know you can do it.
*crack* *thunk* *cr-r-r-r-r-r-ack!* The first hit only loosened the formation. The second hit wasn't as strong as you would have liked. The cue ball bounced back against your end again, to hit the formation on the tip again. It was enough to get four balls to make satisfying *plonk* noises falling into the pockets. Oh look, it's two stripes and two solids: You'll take stripes because it's harder.

"Un-fucking-believable, eh?" Spade cheers. Snow facepalms and murmurs, "Is she sharking me?" Fluffy rumbles, "For two drinks, a pear and a sandwich?" Gloria chuckles, and pats Snow on the shoulder comfortingly.

Bounce shots, bounce shots, wheee! *plonk* *plonk* *pla-plonk*
Just because it's harder that way you hit the cue ball with a spin against the side instead of aiming directly for your target. Everybody watches it spin along the edge to kiss the last stripe into a side pocket. *plonk* Ready for the eight-shot, wheee!

"Hey Snooooooow? This game is so hard, I really don't know what to do here. How should I go for this shot?"
"Win it already. You don't have to taunt me too, eh?"

How does Alice win?
-No risk: Fine, one bounce into the side pocket. Let's make this quick and far too easy, like that manwhore I'm beating.
-Slight risk: If I get the bounce right I can bounce a colour into it to knock it in the side pocket.
-Troll: Let's bounce a colour ball up against it, and hand over the cue. Snow won't be able to win with one of his balls right against the eight next to the side pocket.
-Full troll: English shot to kiss the eight without actually sinking it. Technically I'd be losing, but who cares?

Afterwards?
-We shall be dignified. Nothing must ruin our royal dignity.
-Dance, dance, dance!
-Invite everybody out on that hunting trip Snow wants. More people to haul back the meat and pelts, yesss!
-I think I can feel that sugar crash coming on, try to pass out somewhere safe.
-____________ <---This is perhaps the most suggestible moment Alice will have in a long time. Make it count?

>This has been for reasons that should mostly, or entirely, be something you can figure out yourself.
Poor spook-butt accidentally rolled near-max for charisma, and it's only amplified by the ginger radiation she's giving off.

>>796614
Well, points to the bartender / bouncer for quickly recognizing something off about the high and stopping to check if everything was all right. Fluffy's good at his job.

>how win
Slight risk. You want your sandwich, and trolling will backfire if Snow gets lucky. Better to rely on your own skill than other's fuckups.

>Afterwards?
Whooooo! Jump, twirl, grab Gloria and plant one on her, then lock up when your brain catches up on current events and tries to die of embarrassment. Wonder if your sandwich is big enough to hide behind.

Bored Max 2017/04/19(Wed)09:34 No. 796814 ID: cfe4f0
File 149261967769.png - (80.25KB , 1126x635 , strangebed.png )

d20 : 11 ---> Did not roll a 1.

----

"Five ball and eight, side pocket!" you declare. As long as you get the spin right this should be doable.
"You're calling a... forget it. Just do it," Snow grumbles, and flops back into a chair.
"Forget what?" you ask, looking him in the eye.
Snow looks you back in the eye, starts to chuckle, and his face cracks a big, dazzling smile you could get lost in. He goes on speaking, "It doesn't matter, I can see the easier bounce shot you aren't taking. But you're calling a solid, and you're stripes. The only legit ball for you to shoot is the eight. On the other hand, if you make it, you earned that sandwich. So please, make that shot, if you do it would make me feel less bad about getting beaten by someone playing pool for the very first time. Can you do that for me, fireball?"
"Done, and done," you say, then bend down and sight.

Off to your side, Spade comments, "Fireball works for a name on her right now, but probably not later. Hmm, gotta keep thinking."

Boom, the spin is good, and you get the double. You carefully return the cue to the rack on the wall, bounce a couple times (it doesn't hurt!), spin a pirouette, and race towards Gloria. She catches you in her arms and....

"Whoa there, are you feeling nauseous, wobbly, or otherwise strange?" she asks, holding you up against her. She's looking into your eyes, no, wait, darn. She's checking your eye movement, pupil dilation, and examining the rest of your blushing face.

Maybe you can talk her into it? "Victory kiss, sexy lips. I am the conquering hero, it's traditional for me to kiss a pretty girl, right? I am starting to feel the sugar crash coming on though. Before I pass out, please?"

Gloria smirks at you, then tilts your head to the side and gives you a peck on the ear. She whispers, "I've already got a girlfriend, and a boyfriend. If you're still interested, ask me on a date later, when you're sober."

*

You're lying down, on top of a neatly-made bed. You can faintly hear speech in the background, through the open door. This is an unfamiliar room to you, but it looks like a bedroom. Your jacket, hat, gun and knife are on a chair next to you. Your boots and socks are on the floor under the chair. The rest of your clothes are still on you.

As you start to move, you see a neatly-folded stack of clothing on the dresser, beside the chair, along with a towel and washcloth. On top of the stack is a small, lined sheet of paper, torn off from a notepad, with a message written in pencil. You can easily reach the note without getting up, so you do.

The writing is a lot neater than yours: "In case you need something to wear. Bathroom is down the hall on your left. Love G."

Your phone is visible inside your jacket, it's showing an indicator of two missed messages. It's been only 44 minutes since you first entered Gloria's bar, but it feels so... so... oh shit.

You remember everything. Oh fuck.

How does Alice handle this mess?
-Dress in normal clothes, check the messages. Once complete, I make a tactical retreat to more familiar, and secure, ground.
-Dress in normal clothes, check the messages. I need to apologize for being so weird. Dragging it out will only make things worse.
-Dress in normal clothes, check the messages. Go spend time in the bathroom and try to wash the embarrassment away, or at least splash myself with enough cold water I'm temporarily calm.
-Someone put me here. If I call out they'll come help me make sense of where I am and what the fuck I did. Oh fuck, I know what I did!
-____________ <---Alice is feeling more embarrassed than scared, for the moment, but ideas about how to salvage her situation are desired.

How curious is Alice about that stack of clothing?
-No. Absolutely no.
-That is a big stack. How much clothing does Gloria think I need?

>I've already got a girlfriend, and a boyfriend.
Geeze, Gloria.

>If you're still interested, ask me on a date later, when you're sober.
Geeze Gloria!

>Your [...] gun and knife are on a chair next to you.
You've been disarmed! Rearm.

>tactical retreat
You can't. You're still owed a sandwich. You're trapped. Trapped by your own greed!

>-Dress in normal clothes, check the messages. Go spend time in the bathroom and try to wash the embarrassment away, or at least splash myself with enough cold water I'm temporarily calm.
It's not... that bad, right? You weren't too terrible with Snow and Spade. And maybe they didn't hear what you said to Gloria after collapsing on her. Maybe they assumed the... Thing that Happened Next was just her.

>-That is a big stack. How much clothing does Gloria think I need?
Who can resist checking piles of loot? Even if you won't end up using it.

...wait. Is there anything wrong with normal clothes?

>How does Alice handle this mess?
-Dress in normal clothes, check the messages. Once complete, I make a tactical retreat to more familiar, and secure, ground.
Retreat, find the high ground and observe things from a safe distance!

>Clothes
-No. Absolutely no. We'll be too busy running.

Bored Max 2017/04/19(Wed)21:25 No. 796975 ID: cfe4f0
File 149266235552.png - (27.12KB , 960x842 , openwindow.png )

It is the work of moments to creep over the edge of the bed and onto your feet, to begin dressing yourself again. You weren't out for long, and everything seems to be exactly as you left it: The stechkin is fully loaded and on safety, the spare mag that you usually keep in your jacket looks the same as normal. You still have all your pairs of gloves, right where they were. The knife pouch looks to have been merely pulled off of your belt to keep you from hurting yourself with it in your sleep.

With your footwear back on you carefully sit back down on the bed, quietly. Time to check your messages. The first message is from Doc Marco. He wants you to send back a message if you wake up in less than an hour from when you passed out, or... a list of increasingly more drastic instructions about what to do depending on how long it would've taken for you to wake up. Apparently Gloria called him after you passed out, and they figured out it was the mint candy that did most of this to you. He then goes on to explain that those candies are mostly sugar with a bit of mint flavour, and no you can't have them. You don't like disappointing Doc, he's the first doctor you've met that you actually liked, so this means no more mint candies.

You fire off a quick apology, and go on to the other message. Oh... it's Gloria. The message tells you that you should call her, and that you're getting a free stay in one of the guest bedrooms upstairs. That makes things as bad as you were expecting for sneaking out: The stairway leads up and down beside the bar area, opposite the front door across the main floor. The two exits downstairs are the front double-doors, and the locked kitchen access. Maybe there's a fire exit from this upstairs area?

As you are about to go looking, you get another message. It's Doc again, telling you to set up an appointment if you have any of this one list of symptoms and conditions, or to come right over if you have something from this other list of more horrible symptoms and conditions. Also, at the end, he tells you not to worry about it if you have nothing in those lists, or anything else that is significantly unusual or problematic.

You respond with a thank-you message, and go creeping around as quietly as possible, looking outside the bedroom. There's an exterior fire door at the top of the stairs, connected to a fire alarm... shit. There's another one, with another alarm at the other end of the hall next to the bathroom. In the bathroom though, which is a nice bathroom with a shower and a bidet, there is a window you can climb out of.

A gust of fresh, cool air hits your face as you open it up, remove the screen, and look outside. This is the last moment to reassess what your actual plan is, if you're going to exfiltrate here and now.

What is the plan, Alice?
-Exfiltrate through window, complete the escape, retreat to bedroom, and re-plan what to do with the rest of this "day off." I have to mark down the sandwich as an acceptable loss.
-Checking out that pile of clothing is an excuse to avoid either facing my embarrassment or climbing out a window. Maybe if I hold out long enough headquarters will come through with a mission for me.
-I should confront my fears and failures. I shall advance under fire and claim my sandwich.
-____________ <---Alice's indecision here is mostly driven by a lack options she's really happy with.

Gloria wants me to call her! But... she already has... but she wants... but... this is so annoying!
-Scream in frustration!
-Wait, screaming in frustration would ruin my stealth. I shall reconsider the matter later, in a safer place.
-Nopenopenopenope! Complicated relationships always end badly, big nope.
-____________ <---Alice really doesn't know what to do about this, and would like to avoid the drama of having a complicated relationship again. But dem tits, and dat ass!

Emotional detachment is the name of the game.

-Checking out that pile of clothing is an excuse to avoid either facing my embarrassment or climbing out a window. Maybe if I hold out long enough headquarters will come through with a mission for me.

-Wait, screaming in frustration would ruin my stealth. I shall reconsider the matter later, in a safer place

>fire alarm, fire alarm
Who would have thought the world ending would make everyone so safety conscious.

>I have to mark down the sandwich as an acceptable loss.
Nope, this is clearly unacceptable. No man left behind. And you'll never hear the end of it from Snow.

>Checking out that pile of clothing is an excuse to avoid either facing my embarrassment or climbing out a window
Plus, you're something of a packrat yourself. Aren't you curious to see what's in this cache? (Maybe seeing what's inside will give you some insight into what she's thinking)?

>-I should confront my fears and failures. I shall advance under fire and claim my sandwich.
Eventually. In the end, survival trumps all, and you need to eat. It's just dumb to sacrifice a meal you already earned for something as trivial as your own dignity.

Plus if you break the quest chain with Snow that's gonna make it hard to borrow the Replacement Beast, or to eventually rope him into helping you get a New Beast. You know all about putting up with being uncomfortable for long stretches of time to get a shot. You can endure.

>what do, re: Gloria
>[Alice] would like to avoid the drama of having a complicated relationship again
Again?

I think, right now, you have to file this away under "insufficient information". It's not so charlie foxtrotted you have to retreat yet, but you sure need more intelligence before you advance. You don't really know what she wants, is offering, or you'd be getting into.

A normal person might be able to come by this information by just talking to her. You'll... have to do recon. Or something. Talking's hard.

>>796975
Recon time! Sneak out the window, get as good a look as you can at who's left in the bar from the outside, then develop a course of action.

Bored Max 2017/04/20(Thu)21:35 No. 797202 ID: cfe4f0
File 149274935006.png - (81.34KB , 406x492 , privacyscreen.png )

A thought strikes you: The situation downstairs is unknown. The number, allegiance, position and disposition of hostiles and non-hostiles could have changed since you passed out on Gloria's knockers. It has only been a few minutes but it's plausible that there have been troop movements in that time. A successful mission plan requires accurate intel, so it is time for recon.

You slide out of the window and creep onto the roof of the larger, downstairs, part of the building. You're not a horrible person, so you replace the screen before you continue. You have to be dead slow as you crawl because these solar panels can be as noisy as a steel sheet roof. Reaching the edge, you tilt your head down and take a look. As you suspect, the roof is not so high you couldn't finesse your way into a jump down. Attempted infiltration through roof access looks inadvisable however, climbing back up would require specialized equipment or risking the sheet-metal stairs that look like they'd make excessive noise.

Carefully, you roll over into position, get a good grip with one hand on the edge, and get out your Slate with the other. You set it to video mode, and lean down, panning and tilting the phone slowly so that the 3D imaging software has enough exposure to work with. Checking your intel after, well... it's not unexpected. The model is blurry because of the light differential, but it looks like Spade and Snow are still there, sitting at a table with Gloria and Fluffy, playing cards. This helps so much less than you hoped it would, but it is useful intel.

Returning to the window, and going back inside, it becomes apparent that you've just served as a dustbroom for those roof panels. It would be suspicious for a person pretending to be asleep to suddenly be covered in outside dirt, so you need to fix this. After re-securing the screen and panes, and locking the door, you carefully shake out and wipe down your jeans, jacket, hat and t-shirt. You also clean up after yourself, obscuring your trail.

Cleanup is complete, but you still don't really know what to do, so you decide to return to that bedroom. Locking the door against unexpected intrusion, you breathe a sigh of relief and... frown in irritation. You creep back over to the bed, sit down, take off your boots again, and grumble. If you were expecting to do a stakeout you'd have cued a couple books.

With little else to do, you start looking through that stack of clothing. The jeans don't look that bad actually, too bad they're blue, a little too short, have no pockets, and would probably ride up your crotch and ass pretty far. On the other hand, women's jeans are supposed to do that, and having socially-appropriate clothing could be helpful. There's a red and brown, plaid, flannel shirt next, which has nothing wrong with it, and a good size. There's a selection of T-shirts here, with different Christian messages. They range from the inspirational to one that... no, you don't believe in Jesus, so why would you take it up the ass for him? With a soft giggle you fold those all back up and move on past the plain white bra and panties. Unexpectedly, the bra looks like it is nearly your size. These seem to be the intended matching underwear for the outfit.

Continuing with your investigation, next is a long, pleated, loose draping, dark gray skirt. It is far too impractical for the outdoors, but it looks like an excellent match for what it's paired with: This piece is a white blouse with imitation pearl buttons. The top two buttons on the blouse look like they have never been used. Oh my, the accompanying bra is a pale blue, padded, underwire and shoulder straps, boobshelf-squeezing model. You don't really want to show off nipple indentations in your shirt at the moment, or cleavage, so you move on. The matching panties are... where you draw the line at looking through all this clothing, at least for now.

Carefully, you re-fold and put everything back in the same order of a stack as when you started. Continuing to hide your tracks, you carefully fuss with, arrange, and re-fold the stack to make it look like it originally did. This complete, you lean back on the bed, put your hands up against your face, and take a deep breath.

As you start making progress banishing the stupid thoughts, you hear a soft knock at the door. It's Fluffy: "Psst, Alice is it? Yeah, sorry about how flirty Gloria was earlier. Would you like something or should I go back downstairs and tell everybody you're asleep still?"

In order to neutralize Fluffy it would require lethal measures, and it would decisively break stealth. Your current objectives don't include kills, but what choice do you have?

Aaaa! Stealth broken!
-Try to escape through the windows of this room, break a window if I have to!
-Ready weapon, advance into ambush position, counter-assault Fluffy as he enters the room!
-Counter-CQB, kick the door in his face and make a break for it!
-____________ <---It's pretty much always a bad idea to sneak up on Alice. She is too startled and paranoid to come up with a better response plan without your help.

Screaming is how loud?
-Full battlecry! No fear, no mercy!
-Stifled yelp, hostiles may not be fully alerted to your position and force readiness.

>Yeah, sorry about how flirty Gloria was earlier.
Success! He's blaming Stuff That Happened on Gloria, not you!

>should I go back downstairs and tell everybody you're asleep still?
>neutralize Fluffy, what choice do you have?
Between the previous point and this one, you now have a reason not to neutralize Fluffy: allowing him to disseminate misinformation. Stealth in this case is served by cunningly allowing him to protect your cover for you. Don't kill your counterintelligence asset!

Not only would neutralizing this scout draw hostiles and break stealth, but it would draw their attention back towards certain truths. You can't have that.

Plus if he's dead who will make your sandwich?

>what choice do you have?
Well, you could always pretend to still be asleep till her left. You are quiet, right?

>-Stifled yelp, hostiles may not be fully alerted to your position and force readiness.
Okay, nevermind, if he hear that, he knows you're awake.

>She needs *an immediate tactical recommendation* to deal with the problem that *her stealth has been compromised.*
Fortify your position and prepare to hold out! Barricade the door with clothes!

There's only one door to bottleneck attackers, you have the high ground, a water supply, and if they try to overwhelm your position you can retreat out the window. This is adequately defensible.

You can hold out till he leaves (he's going to leave, right?) or until reinforcements arrive or HQ calls in with new orders.

Bored Max 2017/04/22(Sat)02:05 No. 797416 ID: cfe4f0
File 149285195244.png - (28.17KB , 547x902 , dresser.png )

You choke off your yell of surprise, and get to work. Clothes... no, the pile of clothes won't block anything. Adrenaline fuels your strength as you pick up the dresser and slam it into place, covering the doorway. "Alice? Are you, is everything okay?" comes from the villager at the door as you re-secure your boots. How dare they taunt you like that after killing Uncle Joe! No time to be bothered by it though, you expect them to yank the door off its hinges and bust in soon.

The curtains are these thick, white cloth things, but they pull over out of the way on the curtain rod easily enough. The windows don't open on hinges, but using your knife to break the seal you pull this pane of glass out without breaking anything. Then you're off, running across the roof, damn the noise, and swinging around into a rolling landing on the turf. It's further down than the seven feet you were expecting from the roof of the cottage. You can still run though, and you don't think you broke or sprained anything.

Where is the palisade? You need to find the palisade, to exfiltrate the village through your trap trail, before the rest of the bandits can catch up. The layout is... strange. You remember everything being more cramped when you first came through on that day when they took away Joe. The recon you did after confirmed that the village is packed tight with a few larger buildings, and many smaller cottages, some as lean-tos against the larger structures. You didn't see any grass or gardens inside the palisade either, only dirt ground, and wooden construction, which you see none of here.

You're trying to keep a low profile against the next building over--so close it should buy you dinner first--when you spot a uniformed soldier. Oh shit, he's looking your way, and... waving hello. Why is there a uniformed soldier in a bandit village? Why isn't he or anyone else in his squad calling someone, or reaching for their guns, instead of walking away? Where am I?

Taking a couple deep breaths it comes back to you that you aren't in Groundhog Annex. You're in Fort Hippie. There are no bandits here yet. Hopefully there won't be bandits here for months at least. You've probably just scared people by being weird again. Shit, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck, shit!

Time to explain yourself. Normal people don't suddenly bug out and run across rooftops for no reason, so here comes more people that will always be scared of you. You call up Gloria on your Slate.

"Hello? Gloria speaking."
"Hi. Sorry about that."
"Uh, okay, this is Alice right? Was that noise on the roof you, is that what you're apologizing for?"
"Yes, and yeah, that was me. You also have to re-mount a window now."
"You were pelting across my roof like a close combat squaddie, what happened?"
"Panic attack, flashback, or call it being broken in the head. Whatever."
"Sounds like a case for Truth. Would you let me call her up for you?"
"Wait, Truth, as in the priestess of that sex cult?"
"And my best friend since I was ten years old. Pretty decent psychic too, which is why I'd be calling her."
"Oh great, that's exactly how I wanted to meet the prettiest redhead in town."
"Don't worry, she's nice. If you come on back here we'll fix you a cocoa and... wait, can't do the marshmallows or the sugar. We'll fix you something and I'll give you a hug though, you sound like you need it. Please come back, and hopefully see you soon."

The adrenaline crash hits, and you shift on your feet. Days off are harder than normal days, you think to yourself as you double check that you didn't lose anything (you didn't). This leaves you with the decision about where to go next, and what to do.

Should you call in to Splendor?
-No. With MWO Singh running drills, there's only her and Lt. Colonel Hellfire in charge at the office. I am still new to this chain of command thing, but I know I shouldn't kick every single little problem upstairs.
-Yes. I have failed this "day off" mission so very badly that I need fresh orders.

Where to?
-The bunker. If I'm lucky they've got a real mission for me now instead of this "day off" bullshit.
-My bedroom. Close the door, draw the curtains, hide.
-The mess/cafeteria. Maybe I can help, or wait for lunchtime somewhere people will mostly leave me alone.
-Gloria's Place, she did invite me back. Maybe she's trying to be nice to me from pity though. That's even worse than fearing me because I'm a crazy killer.
-____________ <---There's options, Alice doesn't hate all the options on this list, but maybe you can think of something else she isn't thinking of.

>>797416
>Should you call in to Splendor?
-No. With MWO Singh running drills, there's only her and Lt. Colonel Hellfire in charge at the office. I am still new to this chain of command thing, but I know I shouldn't kick every single little problem upstairs.

>Where to?
-Gloria's Place, she did invite me back. Maybe she's trying to be nice to me from pity though. That's even worse than fearing me because I'm a crazy killer.

Try and climb back in the window and re-set the dresser at least.

Hey, you had a somewhat normal conversation! With sentences and everything! That you initiated, even. Does the phone make it easier?

>sex cult
Well geeze, that might explain a thing or two. Still, not actually the worst thing to base a cult on. Better than you know, cannibalism, murder, demons, ending the word (again), etc.

>psychic
On the one hand, a fixed head tempting. On the other hand? Letting someone in your head is terrifying. Plus, um, if something's actually wrong in there and she goes and pokes it, isn't that when you snap and kill everyone around you? You don't want to kill everyone around you.

>Should you call in to Splendor?
>-No. With MWO Singh running drills, there's only her and Lt. Colonel Hellfire in charge at the office. I am still new to this chain of command thing, but I know I shouldn't kick every single little problem upstairs.
Your failings in the day off mission haven't escalated to the point where they've hurt you or the fort yet, so you're still clear to keep trying to finish the mission.

>Where to?
>-Gloria's Place, she did invite me back. Maybe she's trying to be nice to me from pity though. That's even worse than fearing me because I'm a crazy killer.
They still owe you saaaaaandwich.

They were nice to you before you did anything pitiable, right? Maybe they're just nice. Or perverts. Or want to know some shooting secrets. But those are better reasons than pity, right?

Bored Max 2017/04/23(Sun)04:08 No. 797573 ID: cfe4f0
File 149294573312.png - (71.14KB , 500x500 , back.png )

If at first you don't succeed, go back and try again. The damage toll isn't nearly high enough to justify quitting yet. So, time to try being sociable one more time.

You didn't get very far away from Gloria's place in your flight, so it's less than a minute's run back. You poke your head in the door, and say, "I'll go up there and put the furniture back." Before anyone can say anything you're vaulting up the stairs of the fire exit closest to the open roof, onto the roof, across, and then back in the room. Without the adrenaline it's hard to move that dresser, but you manage to shift it out of the way enough to open the door.

Fluffy finishes the job of moving the dresser. Gloria exclaims, 'Got ya!" and hugs you tight. Then she picks you up in a bridal-carry hold, and carries you downstairs. She's stronger than she looks, and the power of breasts compels you, so you let her.

"Hey boys, I found a cute redhead!" Gloria announces to Snow and Spade, as she carries you down the stairs.
"I was wondering where that one went, she likes to disappear," Spade comments.
"It's killing me that she doesn't recognize you, Spade. Can I let her in on the joke yet?" Snow asks, but you're not paying much attention because jiggly knockers are knocking.

Gloria approaches the table Snow and Spade are sitting at, and sits down. She turns you around in her arms, and arranges you in her lap, facing the table. Her bust is pressed against your back as she places her chin on your right shoulder, and asks, "Comfy?"
It takes a moment for you to concentrate on speaking. "Mostly, but this is really distracting, and moving way too fast for a first date that I didn't even agree to."
Gloria snickers and murmurs, "Sorry, would you prefer to sit in a chair, sweetie?"
You blush more, and answer, "Nnn-no, not yet. A few more minutes, please?"

Snow clears his throat, and asks, "Well, if this is about as calm as you're going to get, I'll be the fool who asks the burning question. What was that panic attack about earlier?"
You take a deep breath, and explain. "Social anxiety, I know I'm strange. Also, people looking at me or paying more attention to me than I'm ready for... it stresses me out, a lot."
Snow and Spade quickly stop looking at you, and you relax more, settling into Gloria's embrace.

Spade shakes his head and says, "This is a shame. You make great eye-candy around the office, you know?"
You glare at Spade and ask, "Okay, you keep talking like you know me. Who are you?"
Snow answers, "That's Captain Spade, chief of mobilized. Normally, just 'Captain.' He's picked you up and dropped you off on some of your scouting and overwatch trips."
Spade smiles, and says, "This man speaks the truth. I have quite enjoyed picking you up, hot stuff." After speaking he grins, points at you, and winks.
All you can say to that is, "¡Chinga tú madre, puto!" Boobs and arms restrain you from making a properly vigorous rude gesture, but you can still use Spanish at least.
Spade laughs. Fuck, what an asshole.

Fluffy comes back downstairs and says, "Of course I come back to my boss with a nervous girl in her lap, putting her hands all over the girl. Does it take a bucket of cold water to stop you from molesting her, Gloria?"

Speak up Alice, what do you want?
-"This helped calm me down, but I'm not sure I can handle going further anyway. Thank you Gloria."
-"I am a hopeless slave to big boobs. Please, Fluffy, rescue me!"
-"Fluffy, please don't demote me to 'girl.' I am a woman, and I can handle this. Gloria, would you please let me go before I end up lesbian-pregnant?"
-"So, this is foreplay for her? I don't even get dinner and dancing first? No class Gloria, no class. I wish I had enough class to say no."
-____________ <---Alice is a little distracted at the moment, maybe you can do a better job coming up with what she should say right now.

Oh hey, there's cards on the table.
-Cards, yay, I know how to win at Poker!
-Shuffling cards is a good substitute for breasts as a pacifier, time to shuffle.
-No, I should do this talking thing. Even if it kills me.

>actually explaining the problem with words
Boob therapy seems to be pretty effective.

>Captain Spade
Note to self: memorize officer's faces next time.

Also remember whatever he may suggest re: threesomes does not constitute an order.

>Speak up Alice, what do you want?
No buckets of cold water, please, I'm skinny and right in the path of friendly fire. (Friendly wet)?

>Oh hey, there's cards on the table.
>-Cards, yay, I know how to win at Poker!
Grab cards and start shuffling them, wait to see if anyone else goes for the non-verbal invitation.

-"Fluffy, please don't demote me to 'girl.' I am a woman, and I can handle this. Gloria, would you please let me go before I end up lesbian-pregnant?"

-Cards, yay, I know how to win at Poker!

No boob therapy for the moment, let's not be quite this easy.

-"So, this is foreplay for her? I don't even get dinner and dancing first? No class Gloria, no class. I wish I had enough class to say no."


-Cards, yay, I know how to win at Poker!

"I am a hopeless slave to big boobs."
Poker is always fun play strip.

Bored Max 2017/04/24(Mon)02:06 No. 797719 ID: cfe4f0
File 149302479718.png - (55.35KB , 377x308 , sandwich.png )

You don't want other people disturbing this for you, or making it seem more sexual than it is, so you speak up for yourself. "I am a hopeless slave to big boobs. Is the cold water entirely necessary?"

Everybody except Gloria is staring at you, and Spade has a sleazy, crooked grin on his face. No, that's not what you meant! The arms wrapped around you prevent you from running away or curling up in a little ball, so you can't retreat from that embarrassing line. With no other options left you try again, and explain yourself further, "It's mostly not sexual. My mom was really busty, and the last time I ever felt really safe I was sitting in her lap."

The stares all disappear again, and Gloria asks from your right shoulder, "Was?"
"Raiders killed my parents when I was five," you explain.
Gloria squeezes you tighter and says, "I'm sorry."
You frown, although Gloria can't see it, and say, "It was a long time ago. Right now, gimme that deck, I'm shuffling."
"Poker is what we were playing while you were passed out. You up for making it strip poker?" Spade asks.

Fluffy shakes his head and leaves the table, getting out tools and servicing the exhaust fan in the kitchen. Reluctantly you give up the boobs to sit in a chair, so that you can play. You're tempted by Spade's suggestion, but you don't know these people well enough for those stakes yet, and Fluffy shouts down the idea anyway. In the end, the betting is mostly credit in the storehouse accounts. The amounts are disappointingly low, but you did win more than you lost at least. The big loser is Spade, Snow is up a quarter as much as you, and Gloria is down one yellow onion overall, which is pretty close to negligible.

Then it is lunchtime. Usually people just eat that at the mess, but today Fluffy works grill and makes burgers for the group in addition to the sandwich. The grilled cheese sandwich overstuffed with back bacon was too decadent. You needed tomato slices, onion slices and a breadroll to do battle with all the mess, but in the end, victory is salty, greasy, and delicious. You gnaw some skinned ginger to finish up.

After lunch, you're sitting around the poker table which Fluffy has diligently cleared and cleaned. You're gnawing on more raw ginger when Snow asks you about it again:
"It's after lunch now, is it a decent time to ask you for that hunting trip?"
After a pause you respond, prompting him to elaborate, "Maybe. What details? Why do I agree?"
Spade suggests, "He is the rich man, he's got all of that big black dick to pay with. You should make him pay with his penis."
You respond with a classic, Italian, "Go fuck yourself," gesture to Spade, but you're starting to expect these filthy jokes from him now. Kinda like your time spent with raiders, except not as violent.

Fluffy, unexpectedly, turns the subject of hunting into a full discussion: He mentions that he'd be up for helping turn a moose into food while it's not breakfast or drinking hours here. This leads into talking about the various choices of what to hunt and trap in the area. Snow mentions the bounty on raccoon pelts for trade, and population control. From there the conversation drifts through discussion of bear meat and venison.

It's now a few minutes shy of thirteen hours (one o'clock), and it is as natural a point as any to get up from the poker table to do something different.

Is it time to hunt, Alice?
-Not really. I have succeeded enough at being sociable for today. I'm going to do another run, take another shower, and wander outside plinking game with Snow's my crossbow.
-No, I should talk with Truth like Gloria thinks I should. She probably already knows about my crush if she's psychic.
-No, I want boobs again. Maybe I should ask Gloria just how complicated her love life is, in case it's not as bad as I think.
-I bet I can shake out a richer offer to go hunting. I'm going to announce my intention to hang out computering in my room for the rest of the day, and then probably actually do it too.
-Oh fine, I was only teasing Snow earlier. Besides, he's a good slave to bring for dragging back meat.
-____________ <---There are other options for what to do in town, including ones that haven't been mentioned at all yet.

Do you want to ask Gloria about that pile of clothes?
-No! Talking about the racy stuff could imply too much romantic interest.
-Loot get, what's not to like about loot?
-I want to give in to the temptation to drag her into a little bedroom and discuss that lingerie, and the really slutty outfit. Fuck it, I haven't had sex in months, and she's hot.

>>797719
Steal all the hot loots. What kind of apocalypse survivor would you be if you didn't collect all the phat loots.

Take Fluffy hunting. He's big enough to drag meat (knowhumsayin') and his shooting skills might need some improvement.

There is also the fact that he fed you.
Go now, while there's daylight, discuss clothes later.

>lesbian pregnant
Hey for all you know that's a thing now, careful what you joke about.

>not sexual
Lying, and using Mom as cover! For shame. (Unless, you know, mom would have been proud of a tactical recovery, or your success (?) with Gloria so far).

>what do
>see Truth?
Maaaybe schedule something for that later? (Or ask Gloria to for you)? You'll be unwound after hunting, and if you're tired you'll have a harder time going excorcist and flipping out and killing everyone.

>Gloria?
Maybe you want more. Maybe. But you've moved fast enough for one day.

Go hunting with Snow.

>Loot?
Loot get, you're a unabashed packrat (well, as unabashed as you can be about anything, at least ). Plus again, maybe it gives you a better idea what she's thinking without actually talking about it?

Bored Max 2017/04/24(Mon)23:17 No. 797868 ID: cfe4f0
File 149310106002.png - (9.67KB , 552x132 , hrifle.png )

You're feeling unusually comfortable with this group, so talking is coming almost naturally to you now. You've made good progress getting to know some of these scary strangers, converting them to not-so-scary people you know a little. Better not do that too much, but a bit is good for your health and happiness in the here and now.

The newfound ease and familiarity inspires you to make an invitation. "Hey Fluffy, want to go out hunting with me?"
He raises an eyebrow at you, but it doesn't take him long to respond. "Me? Not Snow, Spade, or my boss?"
You use your best smile, and try to sell him on it. "Yeah, you. You're a sweetie, and I could totally go for a low-stress afternoon in the woods plinking raccoons with the crossbow. I'll teach you how to shoot, skin and gut those things if you don't already know. You've got a .22 rifle you can use, right?"
Fluffy doesn't respond immediately, instead he puts his left fist against his upper lip, and looks off to the left in concentration. After about three seconds he answers you. "I do have one, but I was planning on an afternoon nap before folks start coming in for drinking today. I would like to slow cook some raccoon though. Could we do that in the morning some time, later in the week, or next week?"
"Fiiiiine. They'll probably make me take another day off sometime soon, I'll ask again then if we haven't already planned it out by that point. Gloria has my local Slate ID."

That didn't go badly, so you try this spontaneous talking thing again. "Gloria, I have a question to ask you. It's about that stack of clothing. How do you happen to have clothes pretty close to my size?"
Gloria smirks, and answers, "Those are mine. I used to be less buxom when I was a teenager, finished growing upwards years before I finished growing outwards. Truth used to be pretty close to the same size for a couple years too, before she got taller than me."
Poker face, poker face, you try not to seem too interested as you ask about it. "I see. So, it's stuff that's taking up space in your closet then?"
She shakes her head and answers you, "No, those are treasures of my early adulthood that I'm saving for my daughters, nieces and cousins. But I might be persuaded to part with some of it, and to ask Truth to give up some of her part, to a lady that would wear it well."
You frown a little. You think you might have an idea where this is going, but you have to ask, "What does, 'a lady that would wear it well,' mean?"
Gloria smirks and elaborates, "I have to see the fit myself, and I have to have pictures. Get here early enough tomorrow, 1500 would be good, and me and Truth will dress you up for ladies' night. Maybe for other occasions too."

So, now your face has gone almost full tomato red, but the scowl you're aiming off at a wall is real enough to hopefully convince people you're not quite that easy.
As you're scowling off at nothing, Fluffy just sighs and murmurs, "Smooth Gloria, very smooth. I'm sure Truth's gonna be happy you said that too."
Spade snickers. Of course he does, your face gone full red and annoyed is probably pretty funny to someone that isn't in imminent danger.
You decide to try this talking thing one more time before you give up and take a run outside.
"So, Snow, after I take a shower or something to get all this flirting off of me, I'd like to hunt. You up for that trip?"
Spade claps, and says, "You're the life of the party, Red. Call me if you need help hauling meat, I'll drive."
Snow waits with an amused smirk for Spade to finish clapping, and says, "Yeah, could do. What do you want to go hunting for?"

Finally, a question you feel competent to answer!
-"Raccoon overpopulation is a problem. Let's walk and plink, I'll show you how easy it is. After dark with a flashlight and a .22 can be even easier, but let's not get too fancy."
-"There's bears in the area that are too curious, greedy, and fearless. Let's cull the threat a bit, try and get more than one if we bag the first one early enough."
-"Moose hunting is a rite of passage, let's see if we can make a man out of you. Also, moose biltong is a great thing to have lots of."
-"You aren't noisy, but your woodcraft and ecology sucks Snow. That's the real problem with your hunting, not your aim. We should start at the bottom of the difficulty curve with small game trapping."
-"I was only asking if you were up for it. Haven't decided if I'm doing it alone yet."
-____________ <---There's other choices. What do you want to hunt?

Do you need some alone time in the bathroom after getting away from Gloria?
-No, as soon as I get away from her I should calm down again.
-A normal shower should be enough to banish the lingering distraction.
-A cold shower might be overkill, but it pays to be thorough.
-Oh fuck it, yes.

>>797868
Hunting moose for a bit more meat sounds like a good idea and it needs a vehicle to get the meat back for the next thing.
Don't take that flirting lying down lets make this fun ask Spade and Snow to get the car running and all three of you could go hunting for some big game say you need to use the bathroom and will be out in a minute. Then make a run for the underwear grab as much as you can and make a run for the truck/car and once you are in tell Spade to "GO GO GO!"

>>797868
go coon hunting. splendor wanted more pelts for trade, not a mountain of greasy bear meat nor the logistical fuel drain of a truck to haul moose.

go to the bathroom before you leave, so as not to spook the wildlife. and also to buy you time to 'borrow' some panties. ideally laundry ones so they don't notice they're missing.

Geeze, if the clothes are for daughters, nieces and cousins, why's she need a sexy show?

Does get you an intro with Truth, at least. Weird opening for a therapy / psychic surgery session though. Or maybe not, by the standards of a sex cult. Dress up is downright mild in those circumstances.

>what hunt
Coons were mentioned as having bounty earlier. And there's lots of them. Makes them better practice if you're trying to teach Snow something than if he only got to shoot at a bear or moose once.

>bathroom
No, you'll be fine. You got hunting~ to distract you. (And you don't have nearly good enough stealth for such covert activities now).

>Coon Hunting
I may be a nuisance, but I'm the best tactician you've got.

You'd want a firearm for small game, and you want a shotgun for bear defense, so moose is most suited to a big crossbow. No reason you couldn't set ground snares while you're out there, though.

>Remember that Alice knows sex is stupid and boring. so we should avoid Truth and this fledgling pornomancy at all costs.

>>797868
>Finally, a question you feel competent to answer!
-"Moose hunting is a rite of passage, let's see if we can make a man out of you. Also, moose biltong is a great thing to have lots of."
Moooose. While we have the help to drag it back afterwards.

>Do you need some alone time in the bathroom after getting away from Gloria?
-No, as soon as I get away from her I should calm down again.
Business-mode, on!

Bored Max 2017/04/25(Tue)22:24 No. 798032 ID: cfe4f0
File 149318427492.png - (28.08KB , 501x391 , xbowhunter.png )

Gloria has gone too far, and you decide it's time to pull a little prank. You are a stealth hunter at your best however, so you're going to do it playing to your strengths.

First, the camouflage: "Alright, I've got it. Hunting moose is a rite of passage Snow hasn't done yet. He needs a shotgun with a tube of slugs for that and bear. Also, something small, and hopefully subsonic quiet, for picking off small stuff. It'll be heavy, but I'll sling the M24 on my back and carry that crossbow beast for my own small to medium stuff. Don't wanna be out there too long, more than half the day's gone already. Plan is start where the river goes underground, and head north along the west bank in and out of the woods looking for whatever's there to find, as slow as it takes to be quiet. Before that, I'm gonna go upstairs and use the nice bathroom here. Meet me by my dorm building?"
Snow blinks, and says, "Alright, can do."
Spade gives a silly salute and declares, "I shall drive your chariot, hunt commander!"

Next, it's time to go upstairs. You do quickly use the facilities as well like you said, but then it's time to go poking around.

Oh.

"What are you looking for Alice? I was just about to take that nap," Fluffy says. Maybe he should've locked the door.
Let's try honesty. "That stack of clothing Gloria left out for me. You know, the one with the slutty outfit at the bottom."
He opens his eyes, looks at you, and asks, "And what are you going to do with it?"
You continue with honesty. "Sneak as much out as I can hidden in my jacket, starting with the sleaziest parts. Also, I intend to leave an itemized IOU note." You hold up the pad of notepaper and the pencil to show him.
He lies back down and says, "She deserves that. It's still on the chair in that bedroom. Close the door, we never had this conversation."

*

Thankfully this riverbank isn't so bad, it's mostly muddy instead of mushy or outright marsh. You're barely out of Spade's truck when you hurry to crank the beast up and snap: There's a wild turkey in that juniper bush on the hillock, doing a poor job of hiding. *k-twayayaaaang* First kill, a hen. You reclaim the bolt for reuse, and pass off the carcass to Spade before he leaves. The mess kitchen better be able to handle that.

"I like how you didn't even have to scope the trajectory drop on that turkey. What was that, fifty-five metres? Sixty?" Snow asks, clearly not believing this bullshit. He's struggling with the ghillie a little, but at least he wears it without complaint.

So, now it's you, Snow, no dogs, no vehicles, a bunch of deadly weapons, and a plan to kill shit.

Gloria has already sent you a message.
-Of course I'm ignoring that, at least until we're back indoors. Hunting!
-Maybe when it's time for a break I should let Snow in on the joke.

How close to the water?
-Almost in it, we're after moose, or deer if I find one.
-Close enough, but I don't really want mud all over.
-I am pale redhead, I want to be in the canopy to minimize the painful burning of the daystar!
-Let's wander, trying to avoid getting our feet stuck in mud.
-____________ <---Special hunting instructions go here.

Suggest things we brought, or are making Snow carry for us, on this afternoon hunting trip.
-____________ <---Go for it. Alice does have a sense of humour, and isn't above a little hazing, but she isn't trying to be too mean to Snow.

>>798032
The best way of hazing someone is with a good joke at there expense. Drop one of the undies on Snows head when you guys are resting for a bit.

>Stealing the skimpy clothes for revenge
Loot get! (This is gonna backfire when she expects you to wear them).

>So, now it's you, Snow, no dogs, no vehicles, a bunch of deadly weapons, and a plan to kill shit.
Perfection.

>Gloria
>-Of course I'm ignoring that, at least until we're back indoors. Hunting!
Laser focus, here. And even ignoring hunting, you gotta leave her to stew over the prank instead of responding immediately.

>How close to the water?
Close enough? Gotta factor in that we're trying to teach Snow which means we need better range / conditions than Alice could likely bullshit through on her own.

So, like, it's the apocalypse, but ethical kill standards means no animal at a watering hole. Going to, and from is fine, though.

Which serves your pale ass just fine.
You can shoot just fine. Snow needs practice, which is why you're here.

Bored Max 2017/04/26(Wed)20:46 No. 798260 ID: cfe4f0
File 149326479436.png - (273.94KB , 893x803 , Raccoon.png )

>>798037
You thought about bringing some of that slutty underwear to tease Snow with, but it struck you as a bad idea for multiple reasons: Mud cleaning laundry, potential ruining and destruction of the item, and the fact that you don't want to flirt with Snow, or anybody at all. No, you need a better idea than this.

>>798076
It's also obviously not time to engage with messages. When you come to a rest break you should probably be trying to answer Snow's stupid noob questions, and try to teach him things. Fuck, there's so much he needs to learn about the food web, botany, geology, and oh bloody fucking hell he is so ignorant. At current estimate it's gonna take months to get him tolerable, maybe years to make him passable. Here's hoping that's underestimating the guy and he's not that bad.

>>798100
Thinking about the way to go, it occurs to you that you don't know how little Snow knows. It doesn't seem to be too much, if he thinks your hunting skills are baffling. He might be so new at this he doesn't know to keep offal and blood from getting close to the water, never mind in. Screw it, well into the tree line you go, possibly getting closer to the water when you're sure he knows about it.

It's early April, and it's a little early in the year for good moose hunting without killing off a fawn or a doe prematurely, but you could get lucky and find a bull feeding. Actually, what you're really hoping for is to catch some deer because hauling a deer carcass back will be just the right amount of work. Well, that would be the right amount of work unless it's a large male from further north.

The springtime bloom is still a bright yellowy-green in most places, and provides little cover. If there were other hens along with that one turkey, they're long gone by now so it's time to start creeping northward. You spot things darting around, but you're not lucky enough to catch an oblivious raccoon digging for worms or anything. It strikes you as wasteful and stupid to ruin a bolt by splattering a squirrel, that's more of an airgun or a .22 kind of thing to shoot. Snow is the one holding a little .22 carbine popgun, but he doesn't seem to be trying for the squirrels. This is okay with you, but you make a note to suggest that he should go out on squirrel popping trips with an airgun and a .22, later. You don't want to bother with all the work of cleaning and gutting squirrels for what little you get out of it, so you'll keep quiet about it until you're going home.

After advancing for ten minutes you call a halt, practicing ambush stillness and observing the movement. Snow gets this right, going dead still against a tree trunk and looking decently hard to spot in his ghillie. Things start moving more after a minute, and you're sure Snow notices this now if he didn't get it before. After about four minutes of waiting, you're treated to the sight of a raccoon wandering on the ground, rolling over a lump of dead log to dig up bugs. You can make this shot. Should you make this shot though?

Go for it, or give Snow the opportunity?
-I need to see him operate if I'm going to do a decent critique, or work with him.
-He wants to see me do this, and he's at the stage he can probably learn more from a good example than having all his errors picked on. Plus, c'mon, it's right there and he hasn't already killed it.

Still hunting, or steady advance?
-Deer, raccoons, and everything else besides moose and bears needs you to wait for a while to see it. Most creatures have well-developed hiding behaviours for avoiding predators, including other predators.
-Moose is the meat we want, and those bears are a great secondary target since it's hazardous to let them be this close to town. Let's cover more ground looking for them.
-It's cheating, and won't teach Spade much, but I could ask base for suggestions about what to go for that's visible on the sensor network. Bleh, a cheat like that is better for hunting humans, but I want some moose.
-____________ <---Fourth option? Please, I can't be the person who has the most to say about hunting in Southern Ontario here. That would be sad.

Did we bring anything special with us?
-____________ <---Oh come on, not lacy panties. Those are a high-maintenance, indoor use tool for making sex easier to acquire and/or do. Try again plz.

>oh bloody fucking hell he is so ignorant
In his defense, you probably miss a lot when you're not a crazy forest person living almost alone in the forest.

>Go for it, or give Snow the opportunity?
Count to 3. If Snow doesn't take the shot by then, you do it.

Administer advice or explanations as necessary.

Save your ammo. Choke the raccoon to death with your bare hands.

Totems are more important than food.

Make Snow do it, its not a critical shot and you are ultimately out here to reduce the amount of suck that he does at shooting things.

You brought a little wilderness pocket manual, mostly information on where to find prey, how to set traps for them, and how to clean their carcasses. You intend to make him do all the dirty work, so it will be useful to slap him with while you recite your advice from memory.

You also brought weed.

>>798290
>Weed
>Sniping

Naw dawg.

>>798306
Honestly, given characterization so far, I'd think it would make more sense for her to be paranoid about drugs than a willing participant.

When you're a worthless fuck up with a broken brain, how can you trust that stuff not to make things worse?

Bored Max 2017/04/27(Thu)21:17 No. 798466 ID: cfe4f0
File 149335304178.png - (68.50KB , 1000x800 , aknife.png )

Bookmarks to stalking, skinning, gutting, trapping, and botany guides on your Slate is something you have by default, but good thinking. A couple bookmarks to lists of dad jokes, okay. :)
Sometimes some weed is exactly the right sort of thank you gesture or trade for a small favour. Like most hallucinogens it's useful for helping get psychic visions, but you don't do that much for many reasons. You were about to grab some loose out of your barter stash for handing out when you found the small clear bag you filled like that last week for the same reason, and never gave out. It went in an inside pocket.

----

You flick your eyes at Snow, down to the carbine, back at his eyes, and over to the raccoon. He gets it and brings it up for a shot. You slowly wind your crossbow for a backup or finishing shot, just in case, but Snow is good and lucky enough to sever the spine with a shot in the back.

Engaging the gear, you unwind the crossbow quickly, re-slot the bolt, and hurry over to smack the raccoon's skull to stun it. Then you take out a skinning knife and make sure it's dead with a minimum of suffering. Snow re-safeties his weapon, and comes over.

"First one?"
"No, but it is the easiest one."
"Did you hit where you aimed, or were you lucky?""
"Inside the cluster circle I'd expect on this toy, but high. I'd say at least slightly lucky, with the suppressor can I wasn't expecting to drop it in one shot at fifty metres, even with a still target."
"You know how to skin and gut one of these things?"
"Uhm, a bit. I need to look up a guide for a refresher."

It's not the best raccoon skinning job you've ever seen, but Snow obviously has done it before at least once and knows how. He hesitates a lot more with the gutting, and once or twice you take over because he is being way too slow. You bag it up, and the hide, and attach them to the frame pack on Snow's back. That's three pairs of gloves down and in need of decontamination. Alcohol on the knives and hands afterwards finishes up.

"I'm usually too impatient to wait like that unless I know I have to. I'm more of a DMR, and now squad leader, than a mud squatter."
"That was nothing. Keeping mostly still in a blind or on a stand for hours at a time is important for hunting."
"How does that work? I imagine the animals would notice the scent if nothing else, unless you keep moving across or against the wind."
"They get used to it if you're doing nothing and aren't making lots of sweat stink. It also helps to confuse your scent a little with a spice or something."
"Huh. That why you're always eating so much ginger?"
"One of the reasons. Also, laser removal of all body and pubic hair, because that stuff holds and makes human stink. I recommend that for scent detection minimization."
"Wait, what? Did I hear...."
"That's one kill. Hopefully we'll catch something better next."
"Catch something next? This skin needs to be cleaned and stretched, and that meat needs to be washed, sterilized, and either served or stored. I don't want this roundworm infested thing on my back a second longer than it has to be, eh?"

Oh Snow, you big baby, that's what the double bags are for. You disappoint me.
-Fuck it, I've confirmed nearly everything I thought about Snow's hunting trouble already, and if he's gonna be a big baby about it let's stop.
-Eh, if he's that dirt phobic I'm better off without him. I'm gonna go see what else I can bag.
-I have to drag this guy out of his comfort zone, even if it kills us both.

Dad joke?
-"Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?"
-"Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks."
-No, not yet.
-____________ <---Go on, impress me.

Special instructions?
-____________ <---I do this hoping for good and awesome suggestions.

>-I have to drag this guy out of his comfort zone, even if it kills us both.
He wanted you to teach him. That means he gets full on teacher mode. No mercy! Slacking off in school will earn you a ruler smack across the knuckles, and you'll make him whittle his own ruler first.

It's for his own good. He might not always have you or the fort to feed him.

Also one coon is way too poor a showing to drag back.

>Dad joke?
>-No, not yet.

Bored Max 2017/04/28(Fri)20:39 No. 798644 ID: cfe4f0
File 149343716894.png - (40.45KB , 745x1053 , deer.png )

Snow's whining is an embarrassment, the existence of a hunter is mud, blood, and death. He'll always be bad at it until he accepts the need to get messy. It's time to get him messy.

"Oh come on, even if you do get some hookworms or something from it that stuff isn't as dangerous as it was before the fungus. It would be an embarrassment to turn back with so little and so early, so keep going."
"You bagged a wild turkey with one shot near the end of the effective range of that crossbow. I'm not sure how much more of you showing off I can take."
"Hush, you dropped a raccoon with one .22 bullet on a suppressed gun. You can aim, your trouble is just that you don't know what you're hunting, where you're hunting, what all the complications are, and how to do it yet. You're following me out into the bush to learn about how many things in hunting you should know that you don't even know you should know yet. So quit whining and eyes open."
"Yes Captain."
"Captain?"
"I'm a Lieutenant, and you're giving me orders. That must mean you're a Captain."
"No. I have situational authority based on experience and competence. If you need to treat this as a military hierarchy thing, my superior rank and title is, 'Miss.' Now quiet, unless it's about hunting."
"Yes Miss, Alice, Miss." Snow gives a right-handed salute to the temple, and then readies the .22 carbine again.

You continue moving North for a good twenty minutes, to get away from the site of Snow's bloody battle and aftermath. Snow is struggling with the ghillie less, which is a good sign. Less of a good sign is that he looks annoyed now, but you expect he'll get over it when he gets more to bring home.

You come up on a nice hillock with a tree on it, plant the crossbow at the base and climb up. The tree is high enough that you get a little bit of view through the gaps and open spaces in the area around, and score. You spot nice, impressive, buck antlers bobbing around to the northwest.

You unceremoniously drop to the ground by Snow and say, "Nice looking buck antlers spotted. It's not a moose, but it'll do. .22 away, we've got a real target to chase now."
He silently salutes and tears down the carbine, handing parts for you to stow in his pack. Then he unslings the shotgun, double checks that everything is still good, and follows you on the hunt.

Spot and stalk chasing in this area requires you to climb trees to catch up with where the deer runs off to. This one is definitely stopping only in fairly open areas where it's hard for things to sneak up on it, though. You slowly catch up, despite having to change direction a couple times. Snow has long enough legs and good enough condition he's keeping up without difficulty at least, which is one less thing to worry about on this trip.

You get close enough that you're being silent for a reason, and take a look. This buck seems to have found a squirrel larder, which explains why it hasn't already run away yet.

It's ninety metres clear of everything except grass, low shrubs, and a couple tree trunks. That's well beyond what you would try with the crossbow. How do you use this opportunity?

Shit, deer move fast and run away for any reason, or no reason at all.
-It's inside the range Snow could do it with those steel sabot slugs, and particularly so if he can creep up a little first. Give him the shot.
-Try to give Snow first go on this, but get out the M24 and aim. It might start moving before he can get into a good shot, and even if he hits it may need a finisher to keep the buck from running off while dying.
-Screw it, this is outside of prime range for shotgun slugs, but my rifle treats this as short range. I'm taking the shot, because it's the right thing to do.
-____________ <---Other possibilities exist.

Dad joke when the shooting is over?
-"Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own?"
-"Two antennae got married."
-No, not yet.
-____________ <---Eh? Eh?

>Warrant officer sniper
Not bad, Miss Alice

-Try to give Snow first go on this, but get out the M24 and aim.
If it doesn't drop at the shot, put it down.

Whatever happens:
-"Two antennae got married."

>>798644
>Shit, deer move fast and run away for any reason, or no reason at all.
-Try to give Snow first go on this, but get out the M24 and aim. It might start moving before he can get into a good shot, and even if he hits it may need a finisher to keep the buck from running off while dying.
If anything else, you can act as spotter and help zero in that shotgun.

>Dad joke when the shooting is over?
-"Two antennae got married."

Aim in with the M24, but let him take a shot at it.

I've been addicted to cold turkey for 2 years. I keep telling people I'm trying to quit cold turkey but nobody is taking me seriously.

Without geometry life is pointless?

Two antennae got married.

>-Try to give Snow first go on this, but get out the M24 and aim.
You can handle a tougher shot, and the whole point of playing teacher is to teach.

>Dad joke
Yes.

Bored Max 2017/04/29(Sat)23:10 No. 798928 ID: cfe4f0
File 149353265284.png - (37.46KB , 314x479 , deerautomatic.png )

You hit the dirt, and gesture Snow down. Through signs and pointing you communicate the angle and distance, and order him forward. Then you put the crossbow down against the tree, and ready your M24.

Peeking out, the buck has leaped off to eat something else in a different place. This time it's 50m away from you and 45m away from Snow. You text him an update on the position and he sends you the two word response, "Damnit thanks." You're pointing at the thing with your rifle, safety off, when you see Snow's shotgun peak up out of the grass in your peripheral vision.

Boom. It's a pretty ugly shot, the slug snaps off the buck's left foreleg close to the belly line and carries on to thwack into a tree. The deer tries to stumble up into a run, but with your slightly higher position you're up now to pump a .30-06 bullet into the lungs, and the ground underneath. Digging that bullet out of the ground is going to suck, but it's time to put the safety on and finish with a knife. Now for the aftermath.

"So, two antennae got married."
"What? Two antennae got married? What are you...."
"The wedding was nothing special, but the reception's great."
Snow blinks at you, purses his lips and stares. It seems to take him an awfully long time to put the safety on his shotgun, but he eventually does it, and slings it up again.

With the weapons out of hands it's time for the post-mortem. "Was it you or the gun that missed your shot?"
Snow tells a story instead of giving you the brief answer you wanted. "I've never hit a deer before, those twitchy things are always running around. By the time I'm ready for a shot it's usually somewhere else, and I have to start over. So I rushed it. I'm lucky I didn't get a sore shoulder or ribcage out of it."
"At least you know where to aim, assuming you were aiming for the lungs, eh?"
"Yeah, I know I don't want to rupture the guts, yuck."
"Well, it looks like your slow aim is pretty good but you need practice shooting scattered skeet. Now, let's get to the field dressing, skinning and bleeding."

*

"So, I'm pretty much addicted to cold turkey, for years now. A lot of people think it's a little tasteless, but it's easy to fix that with the right preparation spicing, like making biltong out of it."
"I can see it being a pretty good field ration. If you cut it up and put in some vegetable ingredients that's a decent stew as well."
"The biggest problem is, I keep telling people I'm trying to quit cold turkey, but nobody takes me seriously."

This time Snow glares. He continues staring and glaring as Spade arrives driving one ATV, leading two more on auto behind him. The whine of the electric motors as they slow to a stop is the loudest sound as you get to work taking down the meat. The quiet continues as you finish bagging and securing the carcass, it's now tied to one of the two unoccupied ATVs. Looking back at Snow as you sterilize with alcohol, he's still glaring at you.

"Regretting making her more talkative yet, Snow? I'm not, you two are pretty good entertainment on the sensor net." Spade says, breaking the relative silence. He continues, "For instance, while you two were out here hunting for a moose, one wandered pretty close to the perimeter back at the fort. I dare you to do it as a driveby."

Now Snow laughs.

Bastards.
-Spade is offering you space behind him, or in front, for the drive back. He wants to see you take the shotgun and gun down that moose while he drives. Pervert might be trying to get a feel however.
-Fuck it, if you don't try you won't be able to brag about doing it. Snow's the one with enough muscle to try and control a shotgun for a driveby, though. You should be driving with him behind you taking the shots.
-Spade's idea is too stupid to dignify by taking it seriously. Get close enough and dismount to advance for a shot. Who cares about his dare?
-Maybe Snow's opinion should count here? That might disrupt your delicate mistress versus whiny bitch working dynamic, but it may be necessary to take that risk.
-____________ <---Some other plan?

Hold fire on the dad jokes, or keep gunning?
-We need to let Snow cool down before we do more damage.
-Maintain fire! "Without geometry, life is pointless."
-____________ <---I don't promise that I will use them, but I do promise to try to use all dad jokes that make the cut.

>M24 Rifle
>.30-06
No, Alice.

This is a teaching moment. Spade's got rank, but he's asking you to do something dangerous and stupid. Snow should learn not to do that.

>Hold fire on the dad jokes, or keep gunning?
-We need to let Snow cool down before we do more damage.

>>798932
She didn't want to keep firing .338 Lapua Magnum, so when it was due for the last barrel replacement she had the whole thing down-converted. She always preferred Springfield to 7.62x51mm NATO though, so it's now chambered and sized for 7.62x63mm Springfield .30-06.

>ATVs
So we're not making Snow carry the whole thing back on his back? I was almost looking forward to the whining.

>This is a teaching moment. Spade's got rank, but he's asking you to do something dangerous and stupid. Snow should learn not to do that.
Maxim 43: If it's stupid and it works, it's still stupid and you're lucky.

And then you have to un-teach everyone before they repeat it and get themselves killed.

>Hold fire on the dad jokes, or keep gunning?
>-We need to let Snow cool down before we do more damage.

Bored Max 2017/04/30(Sun)23:38 No. 799109 ID: cfe4f0
File 149362068859.png - (60.61KB , 975x1021 , moosesilhouette.png )

The foolish stupidity of the suggestion offends you. So, you say so.
"Is this a surprise idiocy test? At best that's a waste of ammo. It could easily become a dangerous waste of ammo which sends an angry moose on a rampage. I'm not the sort of person who takes unnecessary risks just for a dare."

Spade's response is immediate and vehement, "I need people qualified to ride shotgun when we're driving, damnit. Plus, it's fun!"
You give Spade the flat stare. He tries to stare back at you, but can't hold up under your stare. He keeps trying of course.
"You really don't see the value in practice at driveby shooting? People need to learn reflexes-deep how it's about keeping your weapon pointed in the right general direction and firing as fast as possible."
You keep staring.
"If you're really being the killjoy that stops this plan, I'm getting you a custom set of rank insignia made. They'll have glittery pink Venus symbols, and your rank of, 'Miss,' will be local gossip," Spade threatens.
You keep staring.
"Fine, yes Miss Alice, Miss. I'm bored, of course my idea was slightly stupid. Let's drive back, Miss."

You do a final check to make sure you aren't forgetting anything, but everything is dug up, bagged up, cleaned up, and packed up. Snow will have to carry the crossbow in his lap while you sling the M24 and the shotgun on your back. You remove his pack and put it on Spade.

*

"So, it's a bit over two hundred metres that way, in the dense mess of brush and trees there. Good luck with your moose calls, or whatever. I'll keep listening while I deliver this deer to Blue Smoke."
This brings you up short, why would Spade give your meat to the gadgets nerd? "You're giving it to Blue Smoke to handle? Did I hear that right?"
"When my mechanic asks for something, I give it to him. He wants to try out the biltong set you asked for. The turkey's gutted, plucked, cut up, and marinating in the mixture you suggested, in a fridge."
"The way I like it is too spicy and full of ginger for most people. Is he using my recipe or the reference one I pointed at online?"
Spade snickers and says, "Yours. Guess you'll have a bit more trouble quitting cold turkey, eh?" Then he drives off with Spade's pack and the deer carcass, leaving one ATV.

"What about the raccoon?" you mumble.
"Mess kitchen's taking it. Raccoon's great for stew, and they wanted to get started on using it for tomorrow's lunch. Come on hunt leader, let's do this."

This sucks. At least you know where the murderbeast is though, even if it is in the worst possible place.
-Let's get this over with: Sneak up, and check for a good angle before walking away. If there is a shot I'll put down the moose, and Snow is my backup in case of nonsense or failure.
-Shotguns are the weapon of choice if you have to fire through brush. I'll use the shotgun on this, because I trust myself to keep firing until it drops.
-It's his shotgun, so let's put Snow on point for this farce. If I can talk him through either finding a good angle or giving up, he will have officially learned something.
-No, not worth it. Moose have good hearing and a good sense of smell, and this thing isn't rut-addled. If it's starting out in cover it could run away or charge before we get a shot at it, and safety first.
-____________ <---To Kill a Moosingbird? That sounds nearly dumb enough for how Alice is feeling about this.

You've got all sorts of irritation to take out on other people now.
-Resume the dad joking. "Life without geometry is pointless."
-No, no, I am an ambush hunter. Save it for when they can't see it coming and are left defenseless.
-____________ <---Alice's vengeful streak is... storied.

Moose are big, and aggressive. Range is important here. Snow is overwatch,
-Let's get this over with: Sneak up, and check for a good angle

-Resume the dad joking. "Life without geometry is pointless."
But like, grumble it as you take the shot.

Being a remorseless killjoy is fun!

>-Let's get this over with: Sneak up, and check for a good angle before walking away. If there is a shot I'll put down the moose, and Snow is my backup in case of nonsense or failure.
You've let Snow show you what he can do twice now- this time, let's show him how it's done. Maybe he'll learn from example.

>You've got all sorts of irritation to take out on other people now.
>-No, no, I am an ambush hunter. Save it for when they can't see it coming and are left defenseless.

>>799109
>This sucks. At least you know where the murderbeast is though, even if it is in the worst possible place.
-____________ <---To Kill a Moosingbird? That sounds nearly dumb enough for how Alice is feeling about this.
Take the shot with the M24, have Snow at the ready with the shotgun in case the spoon-ear doesn't go straight down, and decides to charge towards the loud noise.

>You've got all sorts of irritation to take out on other people now.
-No, no, I am an ambush hunter. Save it for when they can't see it coming and are left defenseless.

Bored Max 2017/05/01(Mon)22:03 No. 799287 ID: cfe4f0
File 149370139794.png - (21.34KB , 420x420 , dwcheckyes.png )

Time to make sure Snow knows the stakes, you don't want to get hurt here because Snow wasn't taking it seriously.

"What we are attempting here is hazardous. The right season for newbies to hunt a moose is rut since they're all horny and dumb. Then the males do all sorts of stupid dominance display stuff, that makes them give you easy shots instead of running away from or through you. Hopefully this one understands that humans are dangerous, and doesn't come at us. Also, if I don't find a good shot our choices are wait for it to move somewhere we can shoot it, or walk away. If we don't have a place to do that stakeout which is far enough away, we are leaving. Your general instructions are to keep watch and be ready to fire as many shots as it takes, quickly, to drop the beast if he moves towards us."

Snow checks and readies his shotgun, and we don't start moving until I have seen that the tube is full. He confirms his instructions, "Keep firing until it's down if it turns at us or advances on us. Check."
With a silent nod it's on. Into the brush you go, warily, with the M24 at the ready. The crossbow has been left along with your backpack at the ATV.

The brush is too thick. You don't want to get that close to a moose outside of mating season. You and Snow cover each other backing out to the ATV.

Snow is the first to break the silence as you get back and sit on the ATV. "That felt like a combat encounter."
You smile grimly and say, "A charging moose can wreck a car and keep going if the car didn't total the moose at the same time. You've seen some of the damage they can do before, right?"
Snow's mouth turns down and he looks off in the direction the moose is, or was, before adding, "Yeah, it was a combat encounter. I've also seen moose walking by, and not giving a half a fuck about the people chattering away or staring at them."
"They are herbivores. As long as it doesn't think you're a threat it should charge or flee from they're often quite placid. They're known for their foul-temper and aggressiveness though, and are much safer to see from the side than the front. Dangerous beasts, and if that one doesn't leave the area someone should kill him before he tries to wreck the fence. Hopefully me or someone else who can gut the thing is on hand when that happens, but anyway, congratulations. You halfway bagged your first buck, don't get greedy. We can come back out another day."

You'd rather see something more than Snow's back on the way in, so you put your backpack on his back and hand him your rifle to hold, before sitting down in front with the crossbow.
He's not leaning up against you, but you can feel the heat from his groin as he sits down behind you.
"What the? Snow, did Splendor forget to give you a quickie today?"
"That happens when the adrenaline pumps and I'm not wearing a cup, eh? I get that you're not asking for that, let's just go."
"Right, sure, whatever. Moving."

You have now taken Snow out on a hunting trip, where he has faced actual hunting scenarios.
-I should get my stuff back, clean up, and start telling Snow the list of things he should read and know to become a better hunter. I can't compress many years of reading down into lessons that cover everything.
-It's possible that Blue Smoke knows exactly what he's doing with my turkey and deer. It's possible I need to throw out or try to salvage a mess made by a newbie. I don't know which it is until I go look.
-I have spent entirely too much time and effort on being sociable today, I need my alone time.
-____________ <---There's lots of things you can do, and lots of things you can attempt.

Fuck, bugger, bumfun! The stupid breeding instincts part of you wants that warm bulge a lot closer to your ass.
-Annoyed silence unless something else comes up that requires or deserves attention. You don't want to encourage Snow to manslut in your butt.
-Dad jokes! For great boner killing use terrible dad jokes. "Life without geometry is pointless."
-____________ <---Alice could use help with more dad jokes, her hands are on the handlebars of the ATV and she can't look up any right now. Or, y'know, you could give her a better idea.

It sounds like Snow just volunteered to drive.
Someone really needs to weld gun caddys to these ATVs.

Maintain present heading
-I have spent entirely too much time and effort on being sociable today, I need my alone time. And maybe a panic attack if there's time.
-Annoyed silence unless something else comes up that requires or deserves attention.

When you're about to leave, hit him with:
"What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto."

>-I should get my stuff back, clean up, and start telling Snow the list of things he should read and know to become a better hunter. I can't compress many years of reading down into lessons that cover everything.
Responsible hunter takes care of her gear, and the responsible and merciless teacher assigns homework.

Then you can go have a nice quiet panic attack by yourself.

>-Dad jokes! For great boner killing use terrible dad jokes. "Life without geometry is pointless."

clean up comes first, but afterwards, check on blue smoke's horrible mess.

in the interm, dad jokes are guaranteed to be a hit and make a long trip feel like a much longer one. remember; 50% of canada is A.

Bored Max 2017/05/03(Wed)02:29 No. 799482 ID: cfe4f0
File 149380379305.png - (69.14KB , 400x400 , QuarterPast4.png )

It takes a moment, but you decide not to show weakness or mercy: Changing seats to the back would send the signal that you care enough about Snow's warm bulge to be bothered by it. Instead, it's time for more dad jokes.
"Hey, Snow, what do you call a man with a rubber toe?"
His response is grumbling, and saying, "If he's from Texas I'd say Larrytex. What do you call a man with a rubber toe?"
You answer, "Roberto," and gun it. Snow has to hold on to you to keep balance, but it's worth it to toss him around as revenge for his driving.

*

Arriving back at the garage, you turn and confront Snow. "I can give you a reading list, things you need to know to be a better hunter, but it is long and will take time. Hand me your Slate if you want this reading list."
He hands you his slate wordlessly, and puts your backpack back on you. You give him the list as he connects the ATV to the charger, and hoses off the mud.
Snow takes a look immediately as you hand back his Slate. Shit, he's talking instead of shutting up and reading. "This is a long list. Traps and fortifications, anatomy, biology, zoology, food safety, botany, meteorology, probabilistic annual weather modeling, primers in biochemistry and pharmaceuticals, physics, geology... I guess I'll figure out why geology matters by the time I get to that. Geometry in the list confuses me. Why geometry?"
"There's all sorts of minor reasons, and two main ones. First, all combat is applied physics and geometry, angles of attack are important. I almost put in Sun Tzu there, along with my reading list about guns and ballistics, but I figured people would already be making you read that if you're a Lieutenant."
Snow frowns at you, he probably suspects the trap, but he's charging into it anyway. "I see. What is the other main reason?"
"Because life without geometry is pointless."

*

After your shower, you decide to put off further alone time to see what happened to the meat.
It turns out that Blue Smoke is hardcore OCD about food contamination. He recorded videos of him dismantling the turkey and deer in an operating theater. This hardcore nerding makes your commitment to prompt field dressing feel... comparatively lacking.
You turn back to Jay, to ask questions. She's one of the other mechanics and technicians who keep vehicles running, and she forwarded you the videos when you asked her about where Blue Smoke is. "If he's this OCD about food contamination why is he even touching my field kills?"
"He wants the remains for stuff, like pollution testing, and other projects. He also wants some of the turkey and venison biltong. He was impressed with your field dressing job on the deer by the way."
"Impressed? Just from the shape of the carcass when it got here?"
"I only know what he said, eh?"

Huh.

Time for alone time, until dinner, right?
-Yes, alone time now. Alone time until tomorrow, interrupted by dinner.
-Should I take that threat Spade made about the weird epaulets seriously?
-I could stop by Gloria's Place after supper, she'll be more busy and have less time to flirt so much with me.
-I am curious why that harmless old man knows so much about anatomy and cutting things up. It's not important, but I am curious.
-____________ <---Feel free to suggest things Alice can do in her room, or elsewhere.

Are you checking your messages yet?
-No, not yet, I want some alone time first.
-Let us see what fresh hells previously unimagined await us.
-____________ <---You can also send them.

>-Should I take that threat Spade made about the weird epaulets seriously?
Spade doesn't strike me as a guy with the patience to take the trouble of following through on a joke like that with detailed props. Although I guess he has rank and he's... sociable (???), so he might be able to get someone else to make them for him.

If we did take the threat seriously, I'm not sure what preemptive action we could take to mitigate it. Assasinating Spade or whoever makes rank pips would probably not go over well.

>Time for alone time, until dinner, right?
For now, yes. You can decide on if you're keeping it up till dinner or tomorrow depending on how many panic attacks you have now, and how bad.

>-____________ <---Feel free to suggest things Alice can do in her room, or elsewhere.
At least a few minutes of face down yelling in pillow time sounds appealing. People!

>Are you checking your messages yet?
>-Let us see what fresh hells previously unimagined await us.
If we're going to have a panic attack alone in our room, might as well see if we've got anything new to panic about.

(Or if anything she says makes you feel better. That... can happen. Right? Theoretically)?

>>799489
This is pretty accurate, and any improvements I'd make would be minor ones.

While there is a fine line between dysfunctional and nonfunctional, we have decidedly not crossed it, and will get to our messages and evening repast in due time.

For now, a few drops oil on the magazine and bolt, and maybe adding another wing to our emergent graph paper dungeon.
Pillowyelling comes first, naturally.

Bored Max 2017/05/03(Wed)23:06 No. 799647 ID: cfe4f0
File 149387796466.png - (23.66KB , 800x252 , Gaze.png )

You go back to your room. It takes a minute to double check the cleaning and maintenance work you did earlier, which needs no more attention now. The silence and privacy works wonders, and you don't even have to do meditative breathing exercises to calm down when all those people aren't looking at you and talking to you.
Calm and in control, you're ready to face the other stupid mess of the day besides your desire for Snow's warm bulge. Deciding that you might as well get this over with, you check your messages.

The first one from Gloria is making you feel stupid again. Did she type this one-handed? Probably not:
"Sorry if I was teasing you too much. I'm usually a little more flirty on Monday mornings, for bad reasons that should be fixed. Truth's used to me being a bit of a slut though, and as long as she approves we can totally bang. Maybe I can talk her into some threesome action and I get to live the dream of two sexy redheads at once. Would you like that?"

The second message from Gloria is an invitation, a normal invitation thankfully:
"Truth wants to talk to you before agreeing to my dress up plan for tomorrow. Please, come sit with us at dinner. She probably doesn't need much convincing as long as she gets to know you a bit."

The third message, and the pictures that come with it, pushes you into being completely stupid:
"I found your IOU. Naughty, naughty, you know you're not allowed to keep any of that unless I see you wearing it well, and have the pictures, right? To encourage you to start sending me the pictures, here's some of me wearing my replacement optical illusion panties. I'll reward you with more pics when you send me pics."

Oh bugger! Gloria is spicy hot, and those red panties are lascivious. Up close they're so see-through that....

*

You're slightly late for dinner, but at least you're not feeling stupid right now. You avoided checking the rest of your messages because you were already late.
You are feeling embarrassed, but it isn't as bad as you expected. You take off the burka you were using for sun protection, and fold it into a belt pouch. You're getting more looks than you normally do, but they aren't as suspicious as normal, and the staring is only at the predictable places below your neckline. Perverts. Somehow it's less stressful being eyed up like this, maybe because you're ready for them to look. It's a welcome surprise that this is less bad than it could be.

There, at one table, are Truth, Gloria and Fluffy. Gloria smiles and waves you over. Oh fuck, are you supposed to walk up to them, sit down, and ask, "Hey, your girlfriend's hot, mind if I bang her?" You have no idea what to say there.

At another table, Snow, Spade, Splendor and Blue Smoke are talking, and haven't noticed your arrival. There's a conspicuously empty seat between Snow and Blue Smoke. You're probably invited to sit there, judging by the placement of other people around the room and the fact that you're late.

So far so good. The blouse and skirt you borrowed from Gloria seem to be working as social tools.
-I'm as prepared as I can be for talking with two hot ladies I have crushes on at the same time. I'm invited, I should sit with Truth and Gloria.
-I could ask Snow if they were reserving that seat for me. If they were I have a legitimate conflict of invitation, and I don't have to confront too unbearably hot women that make me feel stupid just by looking at them.
-No, I'm not ready for more conversation and being social yet. I tried, I'm sorry Gloria, but I'm sitting by myself again this evening.
-____________ <---Use your imagination to figure out what other options there are for where/how you have dinner.

How prepared are you underneath the outer clothes?
-Look, I hate flirting, come-ons, make-outs, feel-ups, and foreplay. Why would I ever want to wear underwear that doesn't hide my tits?
-I'm wearing the normal bra, because this blouse doesn't fit right without my tits sticking out. Stupid women's clothing.
-I'm wearing the blue push-up bra and the matching g-string. This is so stupid, and a little uncomfortable. Who cares what my underwear looks like if people see me wearing it for seconds at a time, at most?
-____________ <---Alice understands that she's trying to appeal to women that are into dressed-up, sexy women, judging from the fact that Gloria and Truth like each other.

When you were having stupid, private, alone-time, did you merely take the dirty pictures, or send them?
-I thought about sending them, but they're still on my Slate.
-Oh bumfuck, I totally sent dirty pictures of myself to Gloria. At least it's not much worse than what she already sent to me.

Man, I hope you got some good pillow panicking time in before dinner.

>Oh fuck, are you supposed to walk up to them, sit down, and ask, "Hey, your girlfriend's hot, mind if I bang her?" You have no idea what to say there.
Um. She's psychic, right? Maybe you don't have to say anything at all! I mean, sure, maybe-creepy mental invasion. But having someone know what you mean without having to go through all that horrible talking? Priceless.

>The blouse and skirt you borrowed from Gloria seem to be working as social tools.
You've successfully camouflaged yourself as one of these strange social animals!

>-I'm as prepared as I can be for talking with two hot ladies I have crushes on at the same time. I'm invited, I should sit with Truth and Gloria.
Infiltration mission. Can't break cover. You can't let the ones that noticed you know anything is wrong by snubbing them. And you don't want to break stealth to the ones who haven't noticed you yet.

>-Oh bumfuck, I totally sent dirty pictures of myself to Gloria. At least it's not much worse than what she already sent to me.
>-I'm wearing the blue push-up bra and the matching g-string. This is so stupid, and a little uncomfortable. Who cares what my underwear looks like if people see me wearing it for seconds at a time, at most?
You spent so long dithering over whether or not you were going to actually send her the pictures and then you noticed you were late and you panicked and hit send (why did you do that) and there was no time to change out of them when you were throwing other clothes on top and now you're here and you're still wearing them.

Why is everything that's not shooting things so hard.

Normal bra
No pics sent
Spend entire meal talking to Fluffy about Jurassic Park.
Final destination; let's do this.

We do not negotiate with hot terrorists.

go big or go home.

sit with truth and gloria

wear the blue push up and g string

take photos but don't send them, then take extras during the meal from under the table, and send them all. to truth.

>>799647
NO you are too scared to send dirty pictures on the first date!
wear comfortable underclothes because this is the post-apocolypse if you aren't prepared for a zombie attack then you are doing it wrong.
Go sit down with them.
You are pathetic at social situations scream "Can I bang you and your girlfriend?!" in the panic after sitting down.

Bored Max 2017/05/05(Fri)00:02 No. 799790 ID: cfe4f0
File 149396772481.png - (37.59KB , 525x386 , dinner.png )

AC_writing: I need an excuse to do something that amuses me. Heads (1) yes, tails (2) no. AC_writing: .dice 1d2 feepbot: AC_writing: d2 : 1 AC_writing: Thank you feepbot.
----

When you're this late the buffet line looks sort of disastrous, but somehow you scrounge up a couple decent looking plates. You affirm your resolve to face your fears and distractions, and turn back to Gloria's table. It's a round one, and the open seat is across from Gloria, with Truth to the left and Fluffy to the right.

As you make your way there, a stray thought hits you about zombie attacks. Zombies wouldn't attack, that makes no sense whatsoever, so you shake it off and think instead about surprise raider attacks. You're doing alright, except for the blouse, the skirt, and the underwear. The underwear is the least of the problems: The padded, push-up bra gives unexpectedly good support, and the g-string is only uncomfortably bare and clingy when you notice it. The skirt is the real problem, you have pins to fold up that skirt to mini if you have to run and climb. Stupid women's jeans you can't actually move and climb in.
This normal women's clothing is horrifyingly deficient in pockets, so right now you've got your multitool, spare magazines, gloves, Slate, spool of wire, safety pins, a package of mint leaves, some skinned pieces of ginger root, the burka, and a combat knife on a police duty belt. The belt is highlighting your waist, hips, and perky rear, you get it: Not showing off your figure is weird, unless you do it by dressing in a 'normal' way. It's too warm for a jacket, so your armpit holster with the Chinese Stechkin is plainly visible. You are hatless, and your hair is wound into double-buns secured with alligator clips, detached from the spool of wire. You didn't have time to braid your hair.

You sit down and say hello, carefully trying not to think about how large Gloria's knockers are, or that Truth's funboulders are even bigger. Instead you ponder a mystery: How the fuck are women supposed to carry things? They should at least let you wear combat webbing, bandoliers, or a fishing vest if normal women's clothes does not have pockets. Anybody who mentions a purse deserves to be strangled with one. You don't get it.

Truth suddenly giggles for no apparent reason. Gloria asks, "What is it? Is it the alligator clips? Please, do something, that's a crime against her hair."
Truth shakes her head, but gets up behind you and undoes your hair buns, deftly replacing them with... pigtails, and sitting back down. Oh great, at least you were able to salvage the clips and put them back with the spool of wire. You slip the pigtails behind your back, out of the way, but now Gloria is watching you. She's eying you up like a pervert, hard, and looking animal stupid. Gross, we're at the dinner table, Gloria.

Oh fuck, huge wobbly headlights are talking to you, er, Truth is talking to you. "That answers that, I think. Next question then, is this dress-up thing entirely Gloria's idea or does it actually interest you?"
You struggle, and look up at Truth's blue eyes, and get lost in those because of course they're beautiful too. You struggle more, to successfully find your voice and activate it. "Uhm. People look at me weird when I dress the way I want to. Now they're just incidentally looking at me or staring at me like perverts. Apparently I need herd camouflage to avoid being treated as a dangerous, interloping predator."
"Except you are a dangerous, interloping predator," Truth says, plainly. She follows it up with, "We need to open your third eye hon. I can see the potential, you can do it, and you already do peek out through it a little. You need to face and come to terms with the huge aura of death and murder swirling around you."
Gloria snaps out of her daze to ask a question, "This cutie has a big aura of murder and death? How, isn't she younger than we were when we took our first assault missions?"
Truth turns back to Gloria and rebuffs her, "I'm psychic, not magical Gloria. I don't know. What I can see is that she has more death on her than we do, combined. It's kinda hard not to see. Maybe when you get her naked you should take a few hours to count up the scars on her skin and ask her for stories?"
Fluffy comments, "Great. I already knew this pretty lady is about as dangerous as they come. You do like to keep things exciting, don't you Gloria?"

Spade is smiling and waving at me from the other table. That seat is still empty.
-People with manners can excuse themselves to go talk to someone else. Maybe I can try it. It might even be a good idea, or at least less bad than letting Truth pick at me.
-On second thought, no. Probably as much awkward, and none of the promise of clothing and milk-pillows.
-I could try to say I'm going there, and then never arrive. Hmm.
-Maybe I should check the rest of my messages.
-____________ <---The usual preferred move for the pursued stealth hunter is to return to the safety of stealth, and then plan their retreat or counterattack.

Oh shit. Truth's a priestess, and a psychic. She's going to make you talk about Groundhog Annex.
-As soon as I finish eating, I shall pass out. I have that level of control over my breathing and consciousness, and then maybe Doctor Daddy... er... Marco might rescue me.
-If I quietly wait for the right moment and I can walk away. I knew getting involved with Gloria was too much trouble.
-I can try to avoid the subject and not talk about it. Maybe that will work?
-If she won't let the topic lie I'll give a pointedly brief explanation and firmly change the subject.
-____________ <---Wallowing in her traumatic past is weakness, Alice won't willingly do that. The key to survival is awareness, and anyone telling her to shove her head up her ass like that is trying to cripple her.

Go to Spade and keep thinking about boobers! It's the only way to keep Truth out of your head!!!

>Truth suddenly giggles for no apparent reason.
I think she was laughing at your searing appraisal of purses. You don't have to talk for her to get things!

You'd probably be paranoid about that if it wasn't such a relief.

>"Except you are a dangerous, interloping predator,"
Yes and you worked hard to be one, thank you very much.

Also, hey, the psychic can see in your head and doesn't think you're a horrible brokwn monster that needs to be put down, cool. She even implied she was okay with her girlfriend getting you naked!

>We need to open your third eye hon
She can see you're crazy, why would she think it's a good idea to give your brain access to bullshit magic superpowers? Last thing anyone needs is for you to be able to make heads explode without a rifle. Or to find out your crazy is contagious if you give it a psychic vector.

>Spade is smiling and waving at me from the other table. That seat is still empty.
If you excused yourself to go say hi, that would allow you to escape the conversation, and Spade will probably irritate you enough to give you the resolve to get through the rest of the evening. (If he asks how things are going with Gloria and co: "I have no idea what I'm doing.")

Don't think you should bail on dinner, or these three, though. There's, um, intelligence to be gathered.

>Oh shit. Truth's a priestess, and a psychic. She's going to make you talk about Groundhog Annex.
>-I can try to avoid the subject and not talk about it. Maybe that will work?
She's psychic. If anyone can take a hint... surely she can hear the panic and you yelling no no no nononononono in your head, right?

We've opened lots of people's third eyes, often at 300 meters or so. It usually doesn't go so well for them after that. Say so.

You've got to assert yourself. Truth touching your hair and gettting all her fingers back only encouraged her.

That said, these are creatures of social convention. If you got far enough in a nerdy recounting of dinosaur amusements with Fluffy, they'd be powerless to change the topic, for awhile, anyway.

Bored Max 2017/05/06(Sat)02:27 No. 799945 ID: cfe4f0
File 149406282306.png - (50.29KB , 368x368 , danger.png )

"I can't be that dangerous, Truth survived putting me in pigtails without a scratch," you complain. Everyone else at the table giggles, or chuckles.
Gently smirking, Truth responds, "You're here to bang my B-F-F-W-B, aren't you? I guarantee you, she likes pigtails. We both do."
You frown to show your displeasure with talking about sex and fetishes, even as the filthy flirting makes you blush a little.
"She even scowls pretty. Be still my heart, I may not make it through dinner," Gloria murmurs in a low, flirty voice, her eyes fixed on yours. Stop staring!
"You'd better, and for all the evening afterwards. We've got the after dinner drink rush, same as always, unless you want to abandon all those thirsty drunks, eh?" Fluffy's rumbling bass is a glorious relief, it completely interrupts Gloria's full intensity perv-stare.
Gloria's answering whine is odd. "Well, nuts. Walnuts, peanuts, and big, dangly testicles. I don't want to choose, and I have to choose the drunks."

As you continue to eat, Truth asks, "What do you do for fun? I heard about the fact that you're surprisingly good at poker, and dizzyingly good at pool."
Oh thank fuck Truth is asking a question that isn't awkward. "When I'm not taking care of my gear or trying to learn new cooking and craft skills, I web surf, read stuff, try to continue my education, and every so often I play videogames or help, uhm, develop videogames, or, uhm... yeah." Why did you start to think about that? Stupid flirting.
You get to work on eating, gotta get all these tasty greens inside, when Gloria asks, "I'm interested in more details, would you please tell me more about that last, 'uhm yeah?' Sounds juicy."
Turning to Fluffy, you change the subject, "So, goose recipes. Have you ever made goose-neck sausage? You can make all sorts of amusing things out of geese."
His eyes open wide enough you can actually see them, and he asks you, "Please, tell me more. What can you make out of those birds?"

*

"Maybe some chef somewhere came up with a brilliant method I don't know about. Until I do, I'll do the sensible thing and cook each part in its particular right way instead. Same goes for turkey, and chicken too."
Fluffy is a dedicated student, asking questions, taking notes, and bookmarking URLs that you give him. Gloria is frowning and pouting slightly, and Truth's small smile seems fairly amused.
An alarm bell sound starts coming from Gloria's cleavage, and she says, "Saved by the bell. Come on, we've got a bar to tend." She hauls Fluffy up by the arm and drags him off.
Truth gathers up the dinner service, and leaves to put it away. She's not wearing the most scandalous of dresses--the hemline goes down to just above the knees--yet you find yourself staring at her ass as she walks.
The spell is broken by her going through a doorway. You look for the other group, but they're already gone. Time to check your messages.

First, it's from Truth:
"Hello, at last we are acquainted. I know Gloria's enthusiasm sometimes gets ahead of her, and I can help. If you're not actually interested in her please say so, and I'll try to let her down for you."
Despite all the lewd behaviour you still somehow like Gloria. You hope that isn't your stupidity making decisions for you.

The next message is from Splendor:
"Hello, would you like to sit with us at dinner? Don't worry, I'm sure I can keep Spade and Blue Smoke on their best behaviour if you're worried about that."
You're conflicted. You mostly like Splendor, but she's a psychic, and not at all shy or quiet. Thankfully she's flat, graceful, and considerate, enough that....

"Waiting for me to invite you back to my church? I think tea and quiet conversation would be lovely." What? There's a heaving pair of jigglings demanding your attention? Oh, Truth is talking to you again.
Fuck it, you are the predator, not prey. "I'm not sure about the choice of topics. I have some experience opening people's third eyes myself, at range, and the results tend to be... messy."
"My goddess did warn me you're an earthy one. Well, I caught you staring at my ass. If you're not ready to search for your hidden third eye, you could try talking me into a search for something else."

You're sure it's some kind of trick or ambush. Nobody's that easy unless they're drunk or high, unfortunately.
-"Bugger all, we only just met! I'm not saying not ever, but no, absolutely not yet. I'm going home, and I'll... I'll talk to you later."
-"No, I don't know who you are. I don't know who Gloria is. If I'm going to be involved with you, we need to talk first, and get to know each other."
-"Try that one again. Your goddess warned you of what, exactly?"
-"How do you know mine's not brown? There's a more important question though, are you fucking serious?"
-____________ <---Alice is way out of her comfort zone, Truth intimidates her. She's got enough spine to stare death in the eye and go for the jugular, though.

You:
-I am terrified.
-I want that ass, now.
-I am terrified, and I want that ass, now. Oh ginger-oiled, burning, pain in the ass, bumfun hell.

>dinner rush at the bar
Hah! Perfect timing. Gloria isn't in a position to drag you away right after the meal. Wait is that a good thing.

>I web surf
There's still a web?

>sit with Splendor and co
Geeze how many psychics are there. Little late though, you already ate. Might just have to apologize for missing the message, rain check?

>You're sure it's some kind of trick or ambush. Nobody's that easy unless they're drunk or high, unfortunately.
Her behavior seems odd. Especially if bullshit psychic and/or priest powers let her see exactly how fucked up in the head you are, and how bad the shit you've been though was. You'd really think she'd take a softer approach instead of an aggressive confrontational one.

Maybe... she's trying to keep you off balance? Hard to turtle up in a defensive position if she keeps coming at you from unexpected angles. And I mean, priestess of a sex cult. She wouldn't be above using flirting as a weapon. Maybe she's doing that to figure you out. Or keep you from locking up. Or because she wants to make sure you won't explode into a crazy murder-person before she lets Gloria get inside the blast range.

Letting her seduce you seems like a bad idea. You don't know if you'd have been okay with Gloria doing that, and she's been flirting with you all day. You just met Truth! And she has an agenda, clearly.

But maybe you should go to hear what else she has to say. It would be nice to be... not crazy. Not that you have much faith she can fix that. And maybe you could get her to understand just how bad an idea you with magic powers is so she drops it. (And I mean, psychic. You won't have to talk much, hopefully. Just think. Thinking's easy. Uh, you think).

>You:
-I am terrified. And I'm curious to know what the hell game Truth thinks she's playing.

For better or for worse, we have the character we created.
So Alice
*Thinks sex is stupid and boring
*Is possibly a pervert.
We shouldn't be tempted here, because none of this is in our wheelhouse.

All of the responses have too many words.
Get up, retreat to safer ground, let them polish their approach and try again later.

I'm not denying that Truth is attractive, but Alice wouldn't respond to that in any conventional way.

Bored Max 2017/05/07(Sun)01:06 No. 800229 ID: cfe4f0
File 149414440384.png - (13.92KB , 351x351 , question.png )

This woman is creepy. You don't know what she's thinking, and you doubt you'd get a straight answer if you ask. You're tempted to just leave, but that would make Truth into a big, scary thing you're avoiding. Eh, go for broke and try some direct and simple questioning. If you're walking away in disgust, that's at least not running away like a coward. You retreat because you need to or you want to, not because you're scared.

"What do you want?"
Truth pauses, blinks, and sits at the table across from you. "I'd like to ask that of you, and here you're asking me first. Okay. Alice, I was given a warning that you are dangerous, and that you need my help, badly. I have a religious mission here. On top of that, my best friend has been curious about you since you first showed up. She goes for the dangerous ones, and always has. So, I'm worried about you, and what you might do."

That was unexpectedly clear and straightforward, if creepy. Let's try again. "What is your religious mission?"
Her smile is gentle this time. "I am a priestess of She Gives. She is a goddess of peace, love, and plenty. I was empowered as a priestess to protect this town. Lieutenant Colonel Hellfire does such a good job of it, without my help, that I mostly focus on the second and third parts of that."

What? This creepy sex-cultist is... what? You frown slightly, as much in confusion as suspicion. Press the attack? "So, what do you have to say about the rumours that you're a creepy sex-cultist?"
Oh good, she grins. This creep is supposed to be a priestess of peace and love? "I need a little more to go on, to respond with something else beyond, 'Mind your own business.' If you're asking me to explain myself, alright, for you I will share that much. It's not like it's fair for me to ask you to explain yourself if I'm unwilling to rise to the same challenge, eh?
"Most followers of She Gives don't practice... communion... the way we do. I see how what we do may seem odd or bizarre to outsiders. It's for a purpose, to invoke the wisdom and power of the goddess ritually. Because I'm not some creep who would fuck people for personal and religious gratification, without love, that means I have more boyfriends and girlfriends than most people do. It's a challenge, there are mistakes made, but I try and I love them."

So she admits she's a creepy sex-cultist with a harem and a reverse-harem. How does that... no, you don't need to know. You're only trying to get one wife and one husband. "Is Gloria one of your cultists?"
Truth's expression twitches towards a frown, then evens out again, and she says, "No. If you want more than that, would you please have the tact to ask her about it? Preferably, please ask it somewhere that such private business is unlikely to be overheard."

You look around. There's nobody else left in the mess hall, but you take the point that you're talking about private business in a public place. It's interesting that Truth would answer all those other questions in a public place though.

This time Truth and her bounce-castles don't catch you by surprise when she starts talking again. "For trust and full-disclosure, I'm willing to show you a written copy of the warning my goddess gave. I am going to turn that, 'What do you want,' question around on you though. My first choice would be tea and privacy at the church for that, or if you would feel safer in your room we could go there instead. If you want people to know I'm dragging you off somewhere, we could also go to my and Gloria's bedroom. With that last option, Gloria's going to make assumptions, and maybe try to push things towards... something... if you're still there past closing time."

Wow, creepy much Truth? Why has every other redhead you've met been some kind of crazy?
-Not yet. I want a night to think about it at least, make sure Truth didn't psychic-juju me. I should see Splendor first thing in the morning, ask her what kinds of things Truth might have done to me.
-I'm morbidly curious what the inside of a sex-cult church is like.
-I've only got my stuff and a bed in my bedroom. It is my place though, and if I want to have control of the conversation maybe I should just give in to the awkward of bringing her there.
-Well fuck. I don't want to want it, and my stupidity is interested in that all-girl threesome. On the other hand, a known, coming interruption might be what I need to manage whatever load of crazy Truth's on.
-____________ <---Other possibilities may exist, including trying to get a witness you trust on hand in case Truth tries something. Do you trust anyone else that much with your private business?

"What do you want?' No, the real question is what to admit wanting. You know it's pretty useless to lie to a psychic that's paying attention.
-The burning desire to end bandits, raiders, and slavers with bullets where necessary or deserved. That's most of them.
-Somewhere safe to live, get married, and have kids. Right now that looks to only be possible so far in the wilderness the raiders don't go there, and not here.
-Marital aspirations for a husband, a wife, four redhead daughters, two blond daughters, a boy, and about five of your wife's children for a nice, even dozen.
-My fucking privacy!
-Something to fill the empty hole that Uncle Joe's death left in my life.
-None of it is that sensitive or weird, except the story about Uncle Joe and Groundhog Annex. If she really wants to know the rest I can bore Truth with all the details. That might even be a good idea?

>>800229
>Wow, creepy much Truth? Why has every other redhead you've met been some kind of crazy?
-Well fuck. I don't want to want it, and my stupidity is interested in that all-girl threesome. On the other hand, a known, coming interruption might be what I need to manage whatever load of crazy Truth's on.
Having Gloria present would probably temper at least some of Truth's creepyness.
Come to think of it, Gloria said some of the clothes she gave Alice were Truth's, but they still fit Alice without the huge... tracts of land?

>"What do you want?' No, the real question is what to admit wanting. You know it's pretty useless to lie to a psychic that's paying attention.
-Something to fill the empty hole that Uncle Joe's death left in my life.
-None of it is that sensitive or weird, except the story about Uncle Joe and Groundhog Annex. If she really wants to know the rest I can bore Truth with all the details. That might even be a good idea?
I think Alice wants to be the Uncle Joe to someone.

>This woman is creepy
Is she really that creepy? She's confronting a danger (and you know you're dangerous) because she's concerned about her friend (slash lover). That's a positive, and it's good that someone in this fort has the sense to be properly paranoid over you.

And she has a harem. So what? It's not any of your business what a bunch of consenting adults do for fun. Or if they're calling out "oh goddess!" while they fuck. That's weird but not really creepy unless they try to rope you into it.

>It's interesting that Truth would answer all those other questions in a public place though.
Well, maybe it is a little rude to ask who participates in cult group sex? Especially since she's their priest and shouldn't be breaking confidence.

>tact
Has she... not picked up on how bad you are at this? I thought she was psychic!

>Why has every other redhead you've met been some kind of crazy?
To be fair, you're crazy too, and you know it.

>-I'm morbidly curious what the inside of a sex-cult church is like.
Although checking in with Splendor tomorrow for a mind-fuckery consult isn't the worst idea.

You're also morbidly curious just how fucked up a god thinks you are, but you're not sure you can face that tonight. (Don't read note yet).

>"What do you want?' No, the real question is what to admit wanting. You know it's pretty useless to lie to a psychic that's paying attention.
>-Something to fill the empty hole that Uncle Joe's death left in my life.
The big one. You know that broke you, on the days you can bear to face it.

>-My fucking privacy!
More like the opposite. You can barely be around people, much less talk to them. ...and you have no idea how you explain you'd like to still be able to have your privacy and solitude without having to have it.

>-The burning desire to end bandits, raiders, and slavers with bullets where necessary or deserved. That's most of them.
Is that a want? It's more like... you're in a state of war with them. And as long as you are, you'll keep killing them. That's not personal though, that's being a soldier. It's not about you, like the other stuff.

>-None of it is that sensitive or weird, except the story about Uncle Joe and Groundhog Annex. If she really wants to know the rest I can bore Truth with all the details. That might even be a good idea?

>>800229
>-I'm morbidly curious what the inside of a sex-cult church is like.
Infiltrate the enemy(?) complex! This is the best way to fully decide if you can trust her or not. Find out what she stands for.

>-None of it is that sensitive or weird, except the story about Uncle Joe and Groundhog Annex. If she really wants to know the rest I can bore Truth with all the details. That might even be a good idea?
This is "all of the above", right? You don't have much to hide, so just tell her a bunch of stuff. If you want to focus on anything, I agree that your uncle is important.

We do not negotiate with terrorists.
Walk away, end this shit now.

No one gives a shit about what you want, Alice. Truth is just looking for an angle.

Bored Max 2017/05/08(Mon)00:56 No. 800449 ID: cfe4f0
File 149423020466.png - (37.08KB , 506x556 , smartphone.png )

"Make assumptions, and push things towards something?" you ask. You can make guesses, stupid guesses, what that means. Maybe you're wrong?
Truth smirks and says, "I'm not explaining that out loud. If you can't figure it out, get close enough and I'll whisper in your ear."
Frowning and blushing a little you say, "Then, I have to admit my curiosity about what the inside of your church is like. I'm not sure I'll be staying long, but the question of what I want mostly isn't that sensitive."
Truth's smirk widens out into a smile and she says, "Alright, let's go. I hope you're not expecting too much of a, 'sex cult,' church. It's not very impressive or weird, if that's what you're hoping for."
She stands up, pushes her chair in, and walks over. Fuck she's megahuge-tall, no, she's wearing heels on top of being taller and it makes her seem that tall. Oh, she's holding out a hand.
You take it.

*

You don't know what you were expecting, but this isn't it. Better and worse than you imagined. It's most similar to a large living room, with a bunch of comfy, upholstered seating all covered in lace. There's a small, open, kitchenette in one corner with a sink, counter, minifridge, kettle, microwave and cupboards. There's a nice washroom with a shower and a bidet in the other far corner from the door, enclosed of course. Between those two is the 'altar.' The altar is a mattress on a base to raise it up, with a variety of pillows in a drawer cavity inside the base.
You're beside Truth in the comfy chairs part of the room, which are arranged in a semi-circle around the 'altar.' You're sitting in the pair of armchairs, with a coffee table in front of you and Truth to your right. Truth is sending a couple quick messages to people while the kettle heats up. You're sending a quick apology to Splendor.
After another moment the water is boiled, and you're trying not to stare at Truth's distractingly bouncing features as she fetches it. You start whittling a ginger piece into your teacup for tea.

As you take care of the ginger for tea, and Truth pours, you start talking. "I'm not that complicated, I just want my privacy, a safe place to get married and have kids, a nice husband and wife, four redhead daughters, two blonds and a boy of my own, and maybe five of my wife's children would be good to make it an even dozen."
"One husband and one wife?" Truth asks with an amused smile.
Without a pause you continue, "Yeah, one of each should be fine. Why would I need more as long as we're healthy and we're in love? I have vague aspirations of getting educated enough to earn a spot in Waterloo, but I love the outdoors too much to spend all my time there probably. It's more of an idle desire. The safe place to keep my wife, husband and kids is more of a need, and while Waterloo would probably work for that, I'd have concerns about them sending off any of our kids that don't make the PhD grade."
"Makes sense. What else?"
"My privacy. Did Gloria mention to you how much it bothers me when people watch me or pay too much attention to me?"
"Those are things a normal person, a person that isn't as dangerous as you, wants. What else, Alice?"
You glare off at the altar, and grumble, "The bandits, the raiders, the slavers, all dead or defeated. As many bullets as I have to shoot to make it happen. I'm never forgiving them for taking my family away."

After a pause, Truth gets out her Slate, flicks a few commands and holds it out to you. She says, "That's interesting. We didn't really know what your feelings on bandits might be. Are you sure those feelings aren't a little bit more complicated than that, Red Sonja?"

What is your reaction to seeing one of the sex videos of you, Thistle and Dragonfly on Truth's Slate?
-Restrain myself from slapping this bitch. She's testing me.
-Slap the bitch, carefully aiming for pain and surprise without injury. If Truth is so rude as to provoke a reaction like this, she needs correction.
-If she's already seen everything there's no point in covering it up, is there? Take off the skirt, wearing it feels weird anyway.
-Fucking leave. My mind and my emotions are not for this manipulative twat to toy with.
-____________ <---Wary, horny, angry, lonely, disgusted. Those are the big five Alice is feeling most right now. Which ones dominate?

Fucking classy, Truth. She really wants to know your feelings on scum of the earth thugs that badly, eh?
-"I did add in defeated, didn't I? If they surrender or they get taken alive, and people successfully make them stop, not all of them have to die. If everybody got everything they deserved I'd be dead and buried."
-"That was before they killed Uncle Joe. My parents was bad enough, but they broke their own rules. If I didn't stop them nobody would have. The others haven't been stopped yet."
-"Crazy bitch, pissing off a killer like that seems smart to you? How do you even know that name? I didn't ask for it, I don't want it, it's fucking stupid, and I'm still pissed I had to accept it to stay alive! Is that what you wanted to know about me being a named bandit chief?"
-Glare. Truth crossed a line springing this on me like this.
-____________ <---Alice knows a testing provocation when she sees one, and this is it.

Hmmm. Left unsaid were the two most important wants: recovering from losing uncle Joe, and not wanting to be fucking crazy.

Also, wow, I guess we know what the previous complicated relationship was. (There's enough of an internet left for personally scandalous sex videos? Really)?

Also so much for fucking considering letting Truth help you with your issues or anything else. She might have achieved objective "test how unstable the crazy killer is" (you can respect that, objectively. Barely. At a distance) but she just torpedoed any chance of trust or you opening up. You were already way out of your comfort zone when you chanced this.

>Wary, horny, angry, lonely, disgusted. Those are the big five Alice is feeling most right now. Which ones dominate?
Disgusted (mostly at herself), angry (at herself, Truth and the fucking bitches) and lonely, in that order. Warypain.

>What is your reaction
Close your eyes, enunciate "fuck you" as clearly as you can, and start shutting down and going non-verbal. Truth is gonna have to get answers to further questions from being psychic.

Don't hit her. (You want to). Don't get violent. If you let her make you start, you're not sure when you'll be able to stop.

>Fucking classy, Truth. She really wants to know your feelings on scum of the earth thugs that badly, eh?
>-Glare. Truth crossed a line springing this on me like this.
Again, you're in no state to be verbal or explain yourself, even if it is a testing provocation she's judging you on.

Potential therapy session just got smacked down to BSOD session.

"Defeated isnt only dead."

Leave or shut down, we already know you can go unconscious, but this may not be the right place to fall asleep.

Wait, one of? How did anyone talk you into that, let alone more than once?

>Red Sonja
Bonus creepy muttering: "I killed her." (Yes, talking about yourself / your bandit name).

Ask her to read your mind.

Imagine the biggest middle finger possible.

Bored Max 2017/05/09(Tue)01:35 No. 800655 ID: cfe4f0
File 149431893182.png - (37.08KB , 506x556 , smartphone.png )

You glare hard at Truth and growl, "Defeated isn't only dead. Also, I killed her. Go ahead and read my mind if you dare." You imagine the biggest middle finger possible, smushing Truth into the floor.

Truth looks down at her knees and teacup to avoid your glare. "I'm sorry. The login and password to your private blog comes from the messages. I didn't share this with anyone else here, but my goddess told someone else about you too, in case me trying to verify your allegiances goes badly enough I don't survive it."
You just glare, and snort disdainfully. You are a killer, not a mad dog or a psycho.

Truth looks over at the kitchenette, looking oh so pitiful with that downturned mouth and droopy eye. "It's there, close or minimize the browser window to see it. It says things about you that are private, besides who your first boyfriend and girlfriend are."
You flick your eyes around the room, but then back to glaring at Truth.

"I'm not recording this. I respect privacy enough that I feel bad about this much, and my goddess gave me the message."
You shake your head slightly, continuing to glare.

She tries looking back at you but she flinches away from your glare again. "It's important because we know that the raiders are going to come through the area to attack here. We need your help."
You tilt your head to the right and raise your left eyebrow.

This time she turns away looking annoyed. "No, I'm not crazy. Prettyface has failed to subjugate this town for too long, that means it's time for his overchief to step in and do it."
Now you're just staring at her, not believing this shit. What does she think you're going to do about that?

Oh, now she's turning those sad eyes on you. "The defenses, they can already repulse a jeep and truck raid. That raid would have trouble getting through the road here even. It's how long we can keep it up, or if they can bring tanks, that's the problem."
No shit that's a problem. If you can defeat one raider wave that makes beating you into a contest or a rallying call. You're not glaring anymore, you're looking at the crazy.

"So, that's why the question of what you want matters so much to me. We need your help to make this a safe enough place we can raise our children and grandchildren here."
Okay, this deserves a glare for how stupid she seems to think you are. Maybe she's just crazy? If she's not lying then she's trapped between an impossible task and a goddess. That might do it if she wasn't already.

After a pause just glaring at her pretty blue eyes, Truth turns away again. "Please, say something."
You don't believe this shit.

"Or do something. Read the message, slap me for being such a bitch, grab my tits, whatever." She turns away, and grumbles, "This town is probably doomed anyway, but I have to try."

Amazing, fucking amazing. She springs your private sex blog on you to provoke you, and she wants, HA!
-Facepalm. Too much crazy and stupid. At least it isn't my craziness and stupidity.
-Laughter. The only reasonable response is laughter.
-Sure, I'll read. Let's see what a fucking goddess has to say about me.
-Leave. You have nothing to say to this lunatic, certainly not now at least.
-Explain to this crazy the lesson of hunting season for moose. You're not a prude, you're just smart.
-____________ <---Those are nice knockers, but you have doubts about surviving the crazy they're a part of.

Are you even still mad anymore?
-Nah, what's the use in being angry at someone this crazy?
-Sure I am, this nutjob and her goddess are trying to make me commit suicide.
-I need to talk to Gloria, maybe she can help me make sense of this weirdo.
-Fuck this, I don't trust a thing I see or hear from this crazy. Try to make an appointment with Splendor in the morning,
-____________ <---Go for it.

Honestly I expected that to go worse.

Now I feel bad for Truth, because she's terrible at this. She tried to combine the offer of opening up / therapy with a stress-test allegiance check with a desperate recruitment pitch. Those are not compatible!

How does a psychic priest end up with such terrible social skills? (Is she under that much pressure)?

I'm not even sure she recognizes that Alice locking up and going quiet is as much defense mechanism as it is a fuck you. (Fuck, Gloria and Fluffy recognized it almost immediately).

>what do
Facepalm and laugh. You chanced actually letting someone talk to you and she slaps you in the face with the worst shit in your life and looming death. Ain't that perfect?

"Fuck you. ...and I thought I was fucking terrible at talking to people."

"If there's a next time, ask your girlfriend for advice. She's better at this, even without the psy and god 'helping'."

Stop the video. Don't read anything. If her god makes her this fucked up, you don't want to know what it'll do to you. You're already crazy.

I wouldn't worry about not trusting what you see and hear, either. If she was mindfucking you, this wouldn't be going so badly.

>Are you even still mad anymore?
You extended trust and followed her to a safe space and she tromped all over that. Yes, you're mad about that.

And your own fuck up, getting close to people who betrayed you, took away the one person you cared most about, then what you had to do to survive? You don't know how to stop hating yourself for that.

>If you can defeat one raider wave that makes beating you into a contest or a rallying call.
Misinformation? Gotta make it look different. Like they fucked up hard, or different raiders turned on them, or something. Have to avoid looking like someplace actually stood up to them.

>>800655
>Amazing, fucking amazing. She springs your private sex blog on you to provoke you, and she wants, HA!
-Facepalm. Too much crazy and stupid. At least it isn't my craziness and stupidity.
I'm not sure Alice could manage much more than a "You are bad at this" right now. 'We need you help, to convince you my goddess hacked your sex tape' is not the opening line. At least lead with the damn messages!

>Are you even still mad anymore?
-I need to talk to Gloria, maybe she can help me make sense of this weirdo.
"Gloria, why is Truth so dumb?"

>>800732
I have to concede that stopping to text and/or call her girlfriend right in front of her (on her own slate) to complain about the stupid is a far more satisfying response / putting her in her place than holding onto anger.

Bored Max 2017/05/10(Wed)04:53 No. 800852 ID: cfe4f0
File 149441722148.png - (71.70KB , 506x573 , telephone.png )

"Fuck you, and I thought I was terrible at talking to people."

Truth's head flops back against the headrest of the armchair and she laughs. "I guess I earned that. Would you please, at least, read the messages?" Truth asks, still facing away from you.

You grab the Slate she's holding out and access the telephone mode. There's an awful lot of numbers here, but it doesn't take you that long to call up Gloria.

After a few rings she answers. "Hello? Hey! Not up the skirt!" and there's a muffled whimper sound from the other end. "Sorry about that. Hello hon, why are you calling, did you strike out that badly with Alice? I could've told you that your slut skills aren't good enough for that. I'm pretty sure I did tell you that mine maybe aren't, it's why I'm trying to slow down a little with her."

You weren't quite expecting that, but you press on.
"This is Alice."
"Oh, hello Alice, nice to hear from you. What's up?"
"I'm calling to ask a question."
"Uh huh, on Truth's phone? Did she actually get you naked in that church of hers?"
"No. Gloria, I need to know: Why is Truth so dumb?"
"She's not that much more of a fool than the rest of us. Actually, she's pretty smart, which is what makes her so much more of a fool sometimes. She gets too clever, and believe me that has made it difficult to keep her pretty head in one piece and attached to her. What did she do?"
"Pissed me off before asking for something."
"That doesn't sound like something Truth would do on her own, she's usually got a pretty good handle on what pisses people off and how to avoid it. Is she there? Can you put us on speakerphone?"
"Yes, and sure, hold on."

"Truth, what the fuck did you do?"
Truth jumps slightly at Gloria's question and she evades, "It's... private, and religious, and even Alice doesn't have the full story yet because she hasn't read the message She Gives left for her."
"That wasn't an answer. What the fuck did you do, Truth?"
"I tried to do a shock awakening to her. Of course it didn't work, so I look like a stupid bitch now."
"Uh huh. And that other part, the excuse you gave, was that straight up bullshit or is there more that you're not saying?"
"Of course there is more, which I'm not saying because it is private and religious."
"Alice, if you come over for it, I will delay rhumba-bumbum time after closing to shake the full story out of my bobblehead. This sounds like more than only her stupidity here, eh?"
"The secrets involved are Alice's, Gloria."
"Yes, I figured that out. That's why I'm asking her. Also, Alice, if I believe she deserves a punishment, would you like to have afternookie with me, while she has to watch?"

You knew you liked Gloria for a reason, even if she is too lewd and lascivious. Maybe you could grow to like it, or calm her down in future.
-"It's a little too early in our relationship for sex, but I appreciate you asking me without flirting first. The rest sounds good."
-"You've talked me into it. Thank you for just asking, instead of flirting with me or fondling me first."
-"Can you do that without me there? This sounds like it might get a little personal, private, and, uh, intimate."
-"I'm sorry, but it's too early in our relationship for a sexual torture threesome. I'll... I'll talk to you later."
-____________ <---Alice has little choice but to speak here.

What do you do?
-Go back to my room (for supplies and nerve-refresher, or chapter end, depending).
-Drag Gloria's bobblehead back to her bedroom.
-Go for a short run and another shower. Sure it's after dark, but that's the only time I can run without sunburn.
-Go start packing my stuff, to leave town. Fuck this, I planned to move on sooner or later anyway.
-____________ <---Alice has the initiative, for what that's worth.

Gloria wins all the brownie points.

Truth wins one point for apparently having the sense to ask Gloria's advice in advance, but she looses it for ignoring her.

>Maybe you could grow to like it
Maybe you are starting to like it.

>what do
Thanking Gloria for getting it, offering to help, and you know, asking, is a must no matter what else we do.

As much as it turns her on, it's probably to fast for Alice to agree to the threesome, plus the baggage Truth drug up probably isn't helping.

Letting her shake answers out of the bobblehead isn't the worst idea? (Glossing over the details and the video it means Gloria finds out you went bandit to survive after you trusted / slept with the wrong people who betrayed you by killing your family. Until you had a chance to go psycho killer on them, I assume).

A run to clear your head before Gloria is free isn't the worst idea either.

>shock awakening
She... wasn't just trying to piss off a crazy girl with a gun, she was trying to make your brain mad enough to kill her? Truth deserves a Darwin award.

Also if a bad day was all it took to get bullshit magic superpowers you'd be a space wizard by now.

Might be something to (carefully?) ask Splendor about later. Get a non-Truth's opinion on how that works.

Alice is cryptic. Reply to Gloria with a dad-joke, then hang up, leaving her to ponder the implications. Then Leave.

-Go for a short run and another shower.
Then go to sleep, hoping for less pink sparkles and more pink mist in the future.

You should probably read those messages. It's just text, what harm could it do?

>>800951
Reading would probably be consistent with letting Gloria shake more info out of Truth than obstinantly refusing.

>It's just text, what harm could it do?
It could be more stress awakening bullshit provocation, written deliberately to hit us where it hurts the most. Truth could have prepared a backup terrible plan.

...probably the only way to be sure it's not is to ask Truth while Gloria's still on speaker. Truth can lie to us, but I don't think she can fool Gloria, or that Gloria would let her get away with it right now.

Additional snark: "God has email?"

Bored Max 2017/05/11(Thu)14:40 No. 801159 ID: cfe4f0
File 149453880953.png - (18.93KB , 225x375 , droplet.png )

"So one of these messages is a message for me?" you ask.
"Yes, and the second one is a message for me. Both have things that you probably want kept private, and that I wouldn't know if my goddess hadn't sent these messages."
"God has email?" you ask, mostly just to snark. Truth pouts.

Surprisingly, it's Gloria who answers and says, "The way Christians do it is a mass. That invokes one of the angels of the holy spirit into a choir, and then the angel speaks through them. Depending on luck, preparation, and the capability of the priest, they do a better or worse job of invoking lesser or greater servants of The Lord to speak. Truth, is there more bullshit in these messages?"
Truth answers, "No, absolutely no bullshit, but there is private stuff about her sad past. I need to know Alice's reactions to reading the messages, but I promise that the one shock planned for the evening has already come and gone. Which, of course, went as badly as expected."
Gloria grumps, "There had better be a great fucking reason for playing with Alice's head Truth, she's a fragile sweetie. She's not like us iron hellbitches."
Truth sighs and says, "She's a dangerous, fragile sweetie. Careful hon."

You decide to interject before this can get off-topic into some other private argument or, worse, more flirting. "Thank you Gloria, I appreciate the help and the offer, but I think both parts of it might be premature."
Gloria's answer is definitely flirty sounding, "So, you like that offer, eh?"
Time to shut that down, "Yep, I like being asked a lot better than fondling, flirting and teasing. I'll talk to you later."
Gloria gasps, and whines, "That's teasing yourself, you know. But please do, soon. Now I can't enjoy getting felt up by sweetie drunks without worrying about you two." *click*

If you don't ask, you don't know what to prepare for, so you ask. "How bad is it?"
She answers, "It's a lot of the big stuff, maybe most, maybe all. We don't fully understand it or understand you."
You grumble, "And you have a religious mission to keep harassing me until you do, or something like that?"
She lifts her shoulder in a shrug, "It might not be quite that bad, but it also might be no different. Read the message to me if you want to know how bad it is exactly."

You can already tell you're going to hate this. You read the messages.

*

Well jagged glass assfucking. Why not reach in there, shove a hand all the way up, and grab your tongue? Sure there's a few organs in the way and it'd be lethal, but this is a situation beyond your capacity for cursing.

Truth looks back at you, tears are coming out of her eyes too. She pats her lap and you're pretty sure that's an offer of the hug you both need right now. You're really unhappy with her dredging up the past and crippling you with grief though. If she was along for the ride as you read, then at least she understands how much she has to make up for, for pulling this shit.

Do you say something to Truth?
-"Fuck off Truth. I can see you're not happy about this either, but fuck off. I'm leaving."
-No. Mindreading bitch better have got what she needs by now.
-"I accepted the name and spent the winter with Prettyface because I decided I didn't want to die yet. Fuck bandit murderer pricks, and fuck you for making me remember all that."
-"Your paranoia is crushing, Truth. Red Sonja is dead, and you better keep that name quiet or the rest of me will die with it."
-____________ <---Alice understands why Truth thought otherwise, but this mess was stupid and unnecessary.

What next?
-No time, I have to pack my truck and leave town. At least it has a full charge.
-I'll be out of it and shaky until I've had a long cry. Truth's pillows are on offer.
-I'll be out of it and shaky until I've had a long cry. Maybe I am getting naked and crawling in bed with Gloria tonight, although it's very unlikely to be sexy.
-I'm going home to cry myself to sleep. When I see Splendor in the morning she will know at a glance I need some time.
-____________ <---Well now, someone knows more about you than either of you likes. To her credit, she doesn't like it any more than you do and she's sympathetic.

Bored Max 2017/05/11(Thu)14:40 No. 801160 ID: cfe4f0
File 149453885524.png - (9.70KB , 560x400 , mail.png )

Dear Alice,
I am known as She Gives, and I am sorry to have to contact you like this.

When you killed Prettyface's scouting team it was the final straw for his overchief about failing to conquer Fort Hippie. It took a little while to get organized, but much less time than expected for Ogre to intervene. He is now sending his son Nice to lead an advance party ahead of a mobilization call. Nice is too smart to attempt more than cutting off Fort Hippie's access road with blockades, and sending scouting patrols to find the edge of the defenses and perimeter. By the time you read this message you will have seventy-two hours at most to leave before they begin this, perhaps much less.

I would not command you, or otherwise compel you, even if I could. I am a goddess of peace and I respect the desire to avoid the coming conflict. Instead, I ask that you turn your back on your bandit loyalties and help defend the town. You know their ways well enough that your knowledge and guidance itself can make a difference in whether the conflict ends in victory, retreat, or defeat for the people of Fort Hippie. Your skills and experience in the field would also be a great help, if you are willing to lend them too.

Beyond that, this conflict matters on the larger scale. The plan is not yet fully in place, but it is time for the age of raiders to end. This is the best hope I have for the start of the turning point in the next year. I don't have to tell you how much violence and misery the madness of the slavers, raiders, and bandits will inflict in an extra, and unnecessary, year.

Thank you, and best wishes no matter what you choose to do, S.G.


Dear Truth,
the stranger Alice is known to me and may be key to the defense of Fort Hippie. This matter has unfortunately become urgent, and I give you a message to give to her. We must verify her loyalties with full haste and certainty, even at the cost of alienating her from our cause, because I don't know if she is a vital asset for or an enemy agent against the defenses of Fort Hippie. I don't have an exact timetable when it will happen, but Prettyface's overchief Ogre has already sent his most diligent and shrewd chief, Nice. Nice's mission is to secure the area around Fort Hippie to prepare for the coming attack. The estimate I give for Alice is my best guess assuming you get the message to her on Monday, but obviously I don't know everything that might happen until it does.

Alice's parents were killed by raiders, her uncle was killed by a bandit, and she has killed many bandits herself. I don't have an exact number because there are so many, easily hundreds. The upper bound is probably less than a thousand, but I don't know how many less.

Despite having deep reasons to hate the thug scum her loyalties are unclear. She accepted the title of chief from Prettyface, who was the overchief of her uncle's killer. She spent this past winter with Prettyface before taking missions from him early in the spring, leading to the incident where she apparently turned on them and joined Fort Hippie. Since she was eight years old she and her uncle Joe spent their winters with bandits, except for the past one. Her first two lovers are bandits, and the three perhaps are still romantically entangled.

She is an accomplished and seasoned hunter of men and beasts. Her mind's eye already peeks out to note those who see her. She is very quiet, reclusive, and often prefers to observe the actions and conversations of others to being socially involved. None of this helps me to know her mind and heart, and perhaps she doesn't know it herself. To follow at the end are links to her game development blog, her private sexual blog, and a summary of her general education record. From those the rest of her public network presence can be found, aside from her North America hunternet account. Her presence in the internet is illuminating about her capabilities, but not her heart.

Use whatever methods you need to be certain she is not a spy. If she overpowers you one of my other followers will sound the alarm. This person is also familiar with the reasons her loyalty cannot be relied upon, and the timetable for the attack. If the worst happens, Alice won't have much opportunity to do more damage before her retreat or capture.

Good luck, and I am sorry to ask this of you. I'm sure you'll agree that an unidentified enemy agent of her capabilities during a siege is an outcome we cannot permit.

>She pats her lap and you're pretty sure that's an offer of the hug you both need right now.
Haha, fuck no. You're not going to her for comfort now.

>this mess was stupid and unnecessary
Okay, you know what. This continues to be so stupid you have to talk to address it. Focus on the military tactics, because you know how to talk about those, unlike your emotions. Dress her down.

"Does <person at the top of your command chain / in charge of the fort> know?"

Truth will probably respond in the negative, with something about privacy and faith. Cut her off.

"Well he should. If you have intelligence of an imminent attack and a traitor in your midst, you report it to your superiors. You get help confronting and detaining her, have her CO order her to report somewhere before she knows, where she can be secured. You don't isolate yourself and question her alone while she's armed. You don't try to give her superpowers before you know her loyalties. You made this fail-deadly when you didn't have to. If I was an enemy agent you'd be dead, Truth.

"Your god is right you need my help, if this sorry example is how you plan your operations."

>If she overpowers you one of my other followers will sound the alarm. This person is also familiar with the reasons her loyalty cannot be relied upon
Fuck. Someone else knows. And you can't even ask who because they're the contingency in case you killed Truth and this church at least understands OpSec and compartmentalization of information even if they abjectly fail at basic tactics and planning an interrogation.

How the fuck are you supposed to talk to anyone when it could be any of them? (Well, not anyone. Pool of candidates is limited to those who could kill you in an ambush. Probably waiting outside right now).

>-I'm going home to cry myself to sleep. When I see Splendor in the morning she will know at a glance I need some time.
You don't feel like dumping this shit on anyone else, or sharing anymore. And Gloria will only need one look at Truth to know she fucked up, if seeing the inside of your head wasn't enough punishment.

Also, we should really ask a non-Truth source about this "awakening" bullshit, because she's not been the best source for anything. (Don't ask specifically about hers, don't make as if you want it either. "Truth pulled something" is enough of an explanation).

I vote that Alice rightly rejects that lap, but does go to Gloria for comfort. Being stupid will dull the pain won't it?

Also maybe think about the third eye thing. Alice does have a strong feeling attached to being seen by others, maybe there's something to that?

Bored Max 2017/05/13(Sat)07:55 No. 801527 ID: cfe4f0
File 149468731206.png - (17.83KB , 357x221 , conversation.png )

It takes you a moment to get through the sniffles, and get your voice under control enough to speak. "Does Colonel Hellfire know about all this?" you ask, managing to keep your voice even.

With a loud snort Truth gets her tears under control for a moment and says, in a shaky voice, "Mostly. None of the unnecessary detail about your past and private life. I left the message for her with Splendor yesterday and discussed it this morning. She thought I'm grasping at straws with you, and doesn't get it."

You facepalm and grumble, "If I was an enemy agent you'd be dead. Maybe I'd have used those psychic powers you tried to give me to do it. Who the hell planned this mess?"

Truth folds up, legs up in front of her held tightly in her arms, and rests her forehead against her knees, squishing her breast out to the side. Her answer is just over a whisper, "Psychic powers don't really work like that. They're sensory, even the ones that are more than sensory. I was hoping that the moment of openness that comes with the psychic power I tried to awaken would let me skip the worst part." After a loud sniff she adds, "And I'm desperate. Many Crows boasted about his agent inside the walls of Fort Hippie. I confronted you alone in case you're a priest of Many Crows."

"Who is Many Crows?"

This time Truth's voice is a whisper, "Many Crows is a different god. A god of leadership, death, and pain. His followers are mostly violent people like bandits and raiders who seek his favour in battle, but he appeals broadly to people with big grudges or ambitions, particularly grudges. He tried to make you his. You resisted."

"Why do Hellfire and the staff not take you seriously?"

"The staff here has been dealing with Prettyface for years now, and they say he wouldn't sacrifice two dozen people to your sniper rifle to try and insert you as a spy. The ones who understand the spiritual element to this think I was grasping at straws with you because you're shy and withdrawn. Some of them can glimpse it, but none of them can fully see the aura of death on you, because they're not priests. My best guess why the agent hasn't been found yet is they're someone who developed a murder level grudge and nobody around them knows."

"Sounds fishy to me. Psychic powers is one thing, and thank you so much for trying to get me barred from all future games of poker by the way, but if this god and priest stuff were really important there wouldn't be as many people that aren't in on it."

"For you, at some point the psychic powers will come spontaneously if nothing develops or triggers it before that. Now come on, you need a hug, and if you're too upset with me to give me one when we both need it, that means I have to refer you to Gloria."

"I'm, um, not the type to spend the night yet with someone I only met today."

"Neither of us would take advantage of someone overcome with grief. Besides, a hug isn't spending the night."

Cheap move Truth, trying to make up for her blunder with her girlfriend's tits.
-I could use a good cry. and Gloria said she's worried about us.
-On second thought, I don't want everyone to think I'm a pervert whose life revolves around big knockers. I'll call Gloria, tell her we survived, and go to bed.
-I'll see if Splendor's busy, I could use some of her time.
-____________ <---Blank left here in case people go for something more interesting and appropriate than these options.

Are you packing up to leave town tonight, or are you staying to help with fucking Nice and his first wave? He's another prick that wants to do you in the wrong hole.
-Leave. This town is doomed and I want no part of a fight that might get me raped by that fucker, on top of dying.
-With a little luck I may get to put a bullet in his head. Red Sonja's already got a death sentence, let's expand on that.

>Many Crows boasted about his agent inside the walls of Fort Hippie
If you have a spy, you don't boast about it. Are all gods idiots? That's 2 for 2 so far. Unless he doesn't have a spy and he was trying to trick Truth into starting a paranoid witch hunt, cause that worked.

Great. Not only do you get to be paranoid that anyone here being She Gives' failsafe who knows all your secrets, you have to worry that anyone could be a secret murder priest. How the hell are you supposed to talk to anyone?

>He tried to make you his. You resisted.
And... you didn't notice? What is with people trying to do shit to your brain without your permission?

>someone I only met today
Really? Read more like you'd been aware of / met Gloria before but hadn't, you know, flirted back with her games or really engaged her yet.

>Cheap move Truth, trying to make up for her blunder with her girlfriend's tits.
Especially since her suggesting it now makes me want to say no.
>-I could use a good cry. and Gloria said she's worried about us.
Fuck it. You dragged Gloria into this by calling her already, and if Truth made you cry it's only fair you steal pillows from her to cry in.

>He's another prick that wants to do you in the wrong hole
I assume we're talking about bullet holes.
>-With a little luck I may get to put a bullet in his head. Red Sonja's already got a death sentence, let's expand on that.
Sonja's fucking dead and more bandits are going to join her.

>todo list for tomorrow
-Ask Spendor about this awakening bullshit, because you need a non-Truth source.
-Tell Hellfire or someone else in the brass you trust to take Truth's warning seriously. She's demonstrated access to ridiculous information gathering capabilities, if nothing else.
-Leave a contextless "fuck you" online for the all seeing eye who's apparently watching everything you do. Fucking She Gives will get the message.
-Oh god why am I in these ridiculous date clothes still I need something practical

>>801527
>Cheap move Truth, trying to make up for her blunder with her girlfriend's tits.
-I could use a good cry. and Gloria said she's worried about us.
Gloria seems like she can tell a need for Sexual Healing from regular healing. Plus she already know what makes Alice comfortable: >>797719
[spoiler]Plus Alice needs to not fall into the habit of thinking all sexy redheads are nuts.[/spoiler[

>Are you packing up to leave town tonight, or are you staying to help with fucking Nice and his first wave? He's another prick that wants to do you in the wrong hole.
-With a little luck I may get to put a bullet in his head. Red Sonja's already got a death sentence, let's expand on that.
If there is about 3 days before Nice starts probing attacks and positioning for a siege, then that's about 2 days to prepare and mount an expeditionary force to strike Prettyface's encampment. If Ogre sent Nice to get a scouting report and to hold Fort Hippie under siege, getting back a report of "they come out and fucked us" will at least delay him, and at best require a decision of whether it's even worth a full force mobilisation to crack Fort Hippie. Even better if Nice never gets off a report at all. If Nice arrived along with some medium/heavy equipment, taking that while they are still in depot would be an excellent bonus.

Fight! Fight for everlasting peace!

Bored Max 2017/05/13(Sat)21:46 No. 801699 ID: cfe4f0
File 149473720793.png - (55.87KB , 470x465 , pillows.png )

"It's not good for you to try and throw your girlfriend at me to cover your problems," you grump, but you accept her reasoning and start pulling out your Slate.
"Throwing? Letting slip the leash is more like it. The way you've been eyefucking her and she's been responding, she probably feels a week overdue for the biblical knowing," Truth comments, and then coughs.
A sick feeling in your stomach, adding to the achey and weak you already were, is the shit cherry on top of the bullshit cake. Putting that out of mind you dial Gloria, and it takes four rings for her to pick up.

"This better... wait... hello, Alice?"
"Hi. The bullshit happened, we both survived. I'm convinced your girlfriend is paranoid now. She says I should go to you for a hug since I'm too annoyed with her to accept hers."
"A hug? Well, tell her that if I'm busy giving hugs for her she has to put on the frilly apron and take over for me."

"Hey, Truth, your girlfriend says that you have to...."
"Yes, I know. I'll be the one grinding my ass on people instead of her. At least I'm a better drink mixer than she is."

"Uhm, okay, I'll be dragging your temp-worker when I get there, maybe?"
"Please don't do any unnecessary damage to my girlfriend, I have to clean up the mess. See you soon, Alice."
*click*

*

"Sorry, Truth's gotta cover for me, guys."
There's a chorus of whines, groans, and shouted orders for mixed drinks as Gloria carries you upstairs, again in a bridal carry. It's comforting, but you're worried this might become a habit for her. At least she's strong enough she can do it without bumping you into things, which is worth noting since she is maybe slightly shorter than you.
With a click, click, clunk, and another click, she unlocks her bedroom door and carries you in. She sits you down on the edge of the bed, arranges a stack of pillows large enough to hold her up, leans back against it and pulls you into her lap. After arrangement, you're straddling her, face first against the swell of her chest, and her arms are wrapped around you, holding you there. You awkwardly slide your arms around her waist and start to relax.

After a moment, Gloria asks, "How bad is it?"
You mumble into her chest, "Grief dredged up, don't wanna talk about it."
She sighs, and then asks, "And how bad is Truth's paranoia?"
You actually have to pull out of your new favourite pillow a little to answer, "If she's telling the truth she's worried about a real problem, but what she's doing about it is kinda... stupid. The problem itself also seems kinda stupid to me. Are all gods morons?"
Gloria chuckles, jiggling your pillow enjoyably, and says, "Don't think so, but they mostly focus more on the long-term and large-scale than we do. Truth's been grumbling about She Gives being paranoid, but the new gods mostly focus on each other in rivalry, and that's definitely a concern for someone who's a priestess of one. Now relax, and let it out hon."

Nobody's looking, and the tears are flowing.
-Thank Gloria when I finish and wish her goodnight.
-Enjoy a nap when I'm done, this is surprisingly comfy.
-____________ <---Other ideas about what to do with Gloria go here.

Afterwards?
-Go home, maybe take a run first before going to sleep.
-Call on Splendor if it isn't too late, or failing that leave a message asking to see her in the morning.
-Send a message to Splendor that I want to talk in the morning.
-Send the naughty pics Gloria asked for.
-____________ <---Other ideas about what to do with the rest of your night go here.

Should you be weirded by how casual they are about the whole you-fucking-the-other's-girlfriend thing, or just roll with how convenient it is?

>Nobody's looking, and the tears are flowing.
"Sorry. I know this isn't..."

>-Enjoy a nap when I'm done, this is surprisingly comfy.
Pass out. Too much talking to people followed by an unexpected emotional sprinting session, today.


>Afterwards?
>-Go home, maybe take a run first before going to sleep.
You want to be too tired to think about this shit anymore or have nightmares about what got dredged back up.

>-Send a message to Splendor that I want to talk in the morning.
We really need to ask a non-Truth about this awakening nonsense. (And reassure yourself there are less-insane redheads out there).

>-Send the naughty pics Gloria asked for.
Fuck it. You might be killed by bandits tomorrow, and she earned em.

>Other ideas about what to do with the rest of your night go here.
>-Leave a contextless "fuck you" online for the all seeing eye who's apparently watching everything you do. Fucking She Gives will get the message.

(I mean it's basically doing one thing and then texting a few times before collapsing, we can handle that).

>>801699
>Nobody's looking, and the tears are flowing.
-Enjoy a nap when I'm done, this is surprisingly comfy.
-____________ <---Other ideas about what to do with Gloria go here.
If Alice is going to crash anyway, maybe it's a reasonable time for a dose of sugar. Gloria has been kind of getting the short end of the stick.

>Afterwards?
Seconding >>801718

Bored Max 2017/05/15(Mon)03:28 No. 801877 ID: cfe4f0
File 149484409558.png - (36.71KB , 904x524 , Kiss-Lips.png )

Time passes, and sleep comes without you being fully aware of it. You wake up on your back, and uncertain where you are for a moment until the bedroom door opens again.
The silhouette seems like Gloria, and sounds like her when she speaks up. "Oh I see, so they have a tranquilizer effect on you. Do you need another dose?"
You blush and try to figure out what to say. While you fail to do that, Gloria kneels straddling you, wraps her arms around your head, and presses your face into her bosom again.

After a while, something about your new situation inspires you to speak up, "Uhm, this position is making me confused about something."
"What's that?" Gloria asks.
"Would it be more rude to reach up your skirt, or to not reach up your skirt? I feel like I'm in the opening scenes of a girl-on-girl porn."

Gloria immediately lets go of you, straightens up, and apologizes... while still straddling you, sitting on your pelvis. "I'm sorry, you're trying to get your head back in working order here, not the parts lower down."
"Speaking of that, it's a bit odd that you and your girlfriend are so open about, uh, dating other people. Should I be worried about that?"
"We've never really done the couple thing. Originally, when we were ten years old, we were BFFs without the extra WB on the end. Later, I was the straight girl, and she was the jealous dyke who was hot for my ass. So, I got my first boyfriend, Peter, to help me try to turn her straight. We ended up meeting halfway, and became a threesome. Then, he didn't follow us into bandit control, so we needed to find other people to fill the gaps. That was not too stable, so we got used to having guest stars. Truth having an extra six ladies and six men that are her lovers is a new one on us though. It's only been five months and we haven't fully adjusted yet."
"Where does your boyfriend fit in?"
"Let me be clear on this, Gloria's Place has a strict, no-masturbation policy in keeping with my Christian roots. After Fluffy's last girlfriend broke up with him, I caught him masturbating. So, I told him he had to either use my mouth, drill my bubble, let me do that, or take it outside. To my great joy, he took me up on the offer to plow me, and now he's my regular source of vitamin D. I think he'd be happier with a more normal relationship though, and I'm dreading the day that some other woman steals him away."

Blushing furiously, you grab one of the pillows on the bed and put it on your face to hide it. Underneath the pillow you say, "You keep straddling me and I keep having dirty thoughts about it Gloria. I'm not sure if I should be asking you to stop or keep going, but I should probably make a visit to the bathroom first if it's the second."
She dismounts, stretches out on your right side, and hugs you from there, apologizing again, "Sorry Alice, you're cute, in my bed, and you've stopped crying. That gives a woman ideas, you know. If you do want to put your hands somewhere interesting, you should either pack an overnight bag and join me and Truth as tonight's guest star after rumba-bumbum time, or drag me upstairs after tomorrow's breakfast rush. Ideally, please do both."
"Uhm, uh, I have an early morning appointment, and I might be busy working tomorrow."
Gloria giggles, "Don't worry, no pressure. I've extended the invitation, it's now up to you whether you want to RSVP, just show up, or take it slow. For now, I'd better go salvage the mess Truth's making of my business."

Gloria pulls the pillow out of the way with her right hand to peck you on the cheek. After following that up with a brief nibble of your ear she lets go, springs up off of the bed, opens the door--letting in the sounds of a tenor saxophone--and leaves. As the door closes again you are left in quiet and darkness.

First, a few deep breaths. After trying to calm down you're still feeling noticeably stupid, but you can concentrate on things again. You get out your Slate and update your private blog with today's pics, then send the ones that don't violate the policies of Gloria's place to Gloria. Lastly, you send a message to Splendor that you need at least an appointment in the morning, and possibly a full meeting as well. With all that done, this leaves you with some unresolved questions.

Gloria makes you feel so stupid! You're thinking really stupid thoughts, and quite annoyed about that.
-Send Gloria the other pics from today's photo session.
-I'll send Gloria a login to my private blog, Truth's seen it already.
-Decide that you need a better plan than taunting the weirdo who hates masturbation.
-____________ <---Alice hates it when people turn her on and it's not time for sex. Sometimes she's quite expressive about this.

You're not sure you're ready to make up with Truth. You're not sure it's safe to make up with Truth.
-Run, running is good. Running is not being so easy that I fall into bed with two women I spoke to for the first time today.
-Try talking to Truth again. Can suggest topics.
-Accept Gloria's invitation, I can't hold out against the offer of all that T&A.
-____________ <---Try suggesting a cold shower if you like, for some reason it's not an idea Alice has thought of. Or suggest some other thing to do.

>I'll send Gloria a login to my private blog
The one with video of the exes you might have to shoot? Yeah, that's fucking sexy. No.

>-Decide that you need a better plan than taunting the weirdo who hates masturbation.
Christian roots my ass. It's a ploy. It ups the pressure so people squirm more when she flirts with them, or it nets her action in bed.

Taunting might not be the worst idea if you wanted her to punish you, but we're not escalating this any further tonight.

>Alice hates it when people turn her on and it's not time for sex. Sometimes she's quite expressive about this.
But if they don't turn you on when it's not time for sex, how will time for sex ever happen? (Also, let's face it, you're already doomed with that easy a button for Gloria to press. And everyone else for that matter).

Gloria will be spared any expressions of your wrath for her services today. Today. No promises about the future.

>You're not sure you're ready to make up with Truth. You're not sure it's safe to make up with Truth.
Come on, it was like an hour ago, tops. That's way too soon to make up over the emotional mess that confrontation was, let alone anything else. Gonna have to sleep on it, at least.
>-Run, running is good.

>>801877
>Gloria makes you feel so stupid! You're thinking really stupid thoughts, and quite annoyed about that.
-____________ <---Alice hates it when people turn her on and it's not time for sex. Sometimes she's quite expressive about this.
Revenge on Gloria can be had tomorrow.

>You're not sure you're ready to make up with Truth. You're not sure it's safe to make up with Truth.
-Run, running is good. Running is not being so easy that I fall into bed with two women I spoke to for the first time today.
After what she pulled, Truth doesn't get rumba-bumbum time with Alice. She doesn't even get to watch rumba-bumbum time with Alice and Gloria. Met Gloria tomorrow morning, but the rest of the day is for running around and avoiding Truth.

I remember when we shot things, maybe we can do that instead.

Bored Max 2017/05/15(Mon)20:02 No. 802044 ID: cfe4f0
File 149490375201.png - (124.25KB , 1024x1024 , charselect.png )

>I remember when we shot things, maybe we can do that instead.
We need to know who these people are, so that I can enjoy the delicious anguish when incompetence gets them killed.
----

You take another deep breath and get up, noticing the jingle of a set of keys as it slides off of you to the floor, followed by a small note. In the dark it's hard to read the note, but with the aid of the crude doodle of a bustline with cleavage and an arrow you decode that it's an invitation to give Gloria back her keys by putting them 'where they belong.' You suspect this is a lie, since keys have points and hard edges you wouldn't want against your breasts.

Brushing off that weird idea, you exit the room, lock the door, and creep downstairs silently, in complete contrast to the sounds of drunks laughing and chattering. You find Gloria sitting in the lap of one of the patrons, put her keys back in her hand and wave goodnight silently. Before she speaks or does anything else you dodge through the boozy crowd seated at tables, and escape the loud noises and peering eyes in Gloria's Place.

Returning home is uneventful, going to the washroom is uneventful, posting a message to your private blog requesting that the uninvited guests perform a number of odd and anatomically focused acts is uneventful, and putting away the outfit in the laundry to be washed is uneventful.

Gearing up to run, you decide to make it a six kilometre run this time. It takes a bit to get into it, but you finish your running in a tolerably-acceptable twenty-two minutes. The following late-night shower is thankfully free from uninvited observers, and you make it back to your room unmolested.

It only takes a little bit of time spent working on the ecology modeling code to drain what's left of your mental energy, and you settle into sleep according to plan.


Chapter 1 Score
-Enemy kills and wounded: 0/0
-Enemy materiel damage and capture: 0/0
-Enemy otherwise defeated: 0/0
-Victories and losses: 0/0

-Sexy men and women fucked: 0/0
-Oral sex given and received: 0/0
-Handjobs given and received: 0/0
-Other fucking and masturbation: 0/6

-Big game hunted/assisted: 1/0
-Small game hunted/assisted: 1/1
-Loot acquired: Vegetables in the Fort Hippie storage, women's clothing, partial batches of turkey and venison biltong begun, deer hide, deer antlers.
-Ammo spent: 1 good quality .30-06 bullet.
-Ginger eaten: 1 large root nibbled or otherwise consumed over the course of the day.

Per chapter violence assessment: No enemy, good thing Alice's PTSD nonsense didn't kill any non-targets.
Per chapter sexuality: Chronic masturbation. Achievement: Successfully masturbated at Gloria's Place undetected.
Per chapter wealth change assessment: Pretty good for a day off, need more resources to fund your hidden bunker network and lavish wedding plans.
Final verdict: A quiet, mildly-productive day spent mostly focused on large knockers, jilling yourself, and getting seduced by the local bartendress. Good call on avoiding the moose, those things are dangerous.


Chapter two begins soon. Vote for continuing with sniper Alice Hildegaard Weiss versus beginning character generation for the businessman or the scavenger.

>You suspect this is a lie, since keys have points and hard edges you wouldn't want against your breasts.
Well, then you have one stupid revenge idea if you ever need to get back against Gloria. Take the invitation literally.

>put her keys back in her hand
Or not.

>Score
>No enemy, good thing Alice's PTSD nonsense didn't kill any non-targets.
Allied kills: 0/N. Whoo!

>Chronic masturbation. Achievement: Successfully masturbated at Gloria's Place undetected.
>-Other fucking and masturbation: 0/6
Error, 0 does not equal 1.

Also didn't we take the pictures in our own place, before even showing up for diner? We were just to chicken to send them till later. I don't think we did anything unsanctioned at Gloria's place.

>Chapter two begins soon. Vote for continuing with sniper Alice Hildegaard Weiss versus beginning character generation for the businessman or the scavenger.
We're just starting to get somewhere, and we have bandits that need killing! Hardly the time to be rolling up new characters.

>>802055
6 = 6 though, that isn't a fraction, that's a slash separating two different numbers in the score. Go ahead and figure out when the other five times were, or don't.

Self note: Alter score display next chapter to not be mistaken as fractional display.

Not enough Ginger, all told. We gotta step it up.
That moose will grow stronger, and it's a grudge we will remember.

Overall, playing Alice as a socially avoidant loser is made harder by people throwing themselves at her, and even her own backstory. I feel like we had ample opportunity to flirt/fuck, but not enough to be a creepy pervert. Could be improved.

But I'm down for another day with her.

>>802076
Honestly, I found it sorta adorable that the hippies were so willing to apparently try and heal the creepy weirdo with flirting and/or sex. And stoically trying to maintain aloof weirdness balanced with flirting back where it made sense was an interesting social challenge.

>I feel like we had ample opportunity to flirt/fuck, but not enough to be a creepy pervert. Could be improved.

Alice had no 'deserving victims' in this chapter. Nobody suggested peeking on Snow getting a quickie from Splendor either. Don't worry, you'll get your chance.
Regarding ginger intake: That's passive ginger-dosage. You can totally suggest increasing the ginger dosage at appropriate times, that's another one of the reasons I try to leave blanks for write-ins. The default suggestions under headings with a blank are mostly there to present default ideas Alice would think of if there's no better suggestions, and implicitly describe the character's current mindset (I.E. the PTSD episode).

Another pair of missed chances to be a creepy voyeur: Could've tried to peek at Gloria with Fluffy after closing time, or the action following when Gloria goes back to her own bedroom with Truth.

>>802082
There is some honesty to the fact that we're not doing our part, fershure.

>>802243
I agree. With all the... overstimulation Alice is getting, she should be on peeping overdrive.

Honestly, if the narrator got off 6 times and didn't consider it noteworthy enough to mention directly in her narration, and if Gloria banged Fluffy and then went immediately home for a second round with Truth... I'm going back to my earlier position of "there's something in the water."

She Gives has to be fucking with these people somehow for everyone to be this horny.

Bored Max 2017/05/17(Wed)19:28 No. 802651 ID: cfe4f0
File 149507449330.png - (28.38KB , 621x467 , briefing.png )

You wake up before dawn, like normal. You leave your room to use the facilities, and wash the sleep from your face and your consciousness while you're there. Checking your messages while you do this is where your rhythm is interrupted.
You're summoned to an early morning meeting, first thing, with no time to run and shower first. Bugger.
Making your way to the bunker, you go directly to the briefing room. Upon arrival you see Lt. Col Hellfire at the front working on a sandwich and coffee. Abnormally, there is a treadmill exercise machine in the room with a bottle of beer on the control panel, and the other people here are eating breakfast. Splendor sleepily directs you to the treadmill, and you sip the beer as you make use of it at an even jogging pace.

The last to arrive is Blue Smoke, and as soon as he sits down with green tea, the Colonel starts speaking.
"So, to make sure everyone's on the same page, the first stage of what we've been planning for is coming. We have it from multiple sources that Ogre is beginning a full muster, and has sent his son Nice to pin us down and cut us off for the main assault. They're probably also supposed to figure out our retreat routes if they can.
"We can't let them do that. The measures we already have installed are useful, but we need to plant some fresher stuff in the most likely places that Nice's forces will use as a base, as well as planting more sensors at the possible points of local supply.
"Blue Smoke will be issuing packages to groups. Snow, Captain, Overkill and Golder will be in the field delivering those to the designated points on the map. We need to try to have this done by noon, which is the early part of the estimate spread for when Nice may be arriving in the area.
"Alice, your duty is to watch the area of the entrance to our access road, since Nice will probably try to put a bandit ambush crew on it as soon as possible. I'm sorry we don't have any good spotters to send with you, but we'll leave two CQB troopers under you to watch your back. Try not to tip off the enemy that we have spread the sensor network out that far, but risk it if necessary to allow our safe return. Once we are returned, avoid giving up any intel, and make the enemy pay steeply for trying to suppress our main road.
"Now that you've passed She Gives' paranoia check," and at this point she rolls her eyes and Blue Smoke chuckles, "Please, advise us about what disrupts Nice's plans."

This is something you know, so it isn't hard to speak up. "Stop them from thinking it'll be cheap and profitable, take their stuff and drive them off. We want them to give up before they get angry and committed enough to bring artillery and start using it. In the first two or three days, sending them back to base naked would hurt their morale and supply the most. In a longer battle, it would be strictly better to kill or capture them to limit enemy intel and personnel, but enemy casualties increases their anger. If they're angry or wary enough they'll use artillery on us instead of trying to capture the town whole.
"That initial time limit depends on their first supply convoy. If we don't finish the job in that time or stop them, the convoys will be adding reinforcements to the problem, and adding to the chance they'll use artillery instead of just leaving. There may already be multiple convoys on their way, from different places.
"This all sucks in the long term, because if we win against Ogre and Nice, it will either convince them to barrage Fort Hippie with artillery anyway, or draw in their overchief."

Captain grumps, "We know. Hey Blue Smoke, please tell me we're putting some mines or remote explosives in good places with these drops."
Blue Smoke snaps back, "Of course not, crazy gwailo. Simple mines are bad because we could hurt neutrals or our own people with them, and it's too much area. Complicated ones with sensors and network connections are too easy to find. Either one convinces them to use more explosives, so no fireworks."

The colonel interrupts, "Anyway, most of us are leaving promptly. Splendor's on HQ and dispatch, Doc's handling administration issues, Blue Smoke is their backup until some of us get back, and I am on alerts. Alice, you'll be relieved by 1800, and reinforced possibly as soon as noon. Be ready for a long day when you leave. Set up a couple good blinds if you can while you're there. Up and at 'em folks, dismissed."

Hot breakfast or rations in position?
-Full breakfast, it doesn't take that long.
-What's not to like about an apple, some jerky, some bread blocks, and a couple ginger roots while you're watching things?

Get a little pre-sortie something-something?
-No. It might help me be less distracted in the field, but it's not like this is a difficult assignment.
-Splendor will have her hands full womaning HQ dispatch, a perfect time to get it from her the way I prefer.
-____________ <---Other plans for Alice to manage her stupidity go here.

What else do you get or do before leaving?
-____________ <---Special equipment requests that aren't too dumb go here. Don't overload Alice's electric pickup truck, it's gotta go through rough terrain.

>>802641
Fluffy's room is right next to Gloria and Truth's room. I'm not commenting on Gloria's sex drive yet. Alice, however, was voted maximum redhead. This gives her maximum temper, and maximum sex drive according to the stereotypes. And then everyone decided it would be a good idea for her to dislike sex. So....

>Abnormally, there is a treadmill exercise machine in the room with a bottle of beer on the control panel
They disrupt your routine, and then accommodate it in the same breath. (Hippies too nice). Someone likes you. (And knows your habits). Splendor, I'm guessing.

>Hot breakfast or rations in position?
>-What's not to like about an apple, some jerky, some bread blocks, and a couple ginger roots while you're watching things?
You're in your element, here. You're not about to miss anything or waste time on a frivolity.

>Get a little pre-sortie something-something?
>-No. It might help me be less distracted in the field, but it's not like this is a difficult assignment.
No time for stupidity, it's time to be a badass sniper and break these bandits. Screw sex and all the emotional issues you had dragged up- putting bullets in people is a perfectly effective way to cope.

>-Splendor will have her hands full womaning HQ dispatch, a perfect time to get it from her the way I prefer.
So out of curiosity, this confirms we have a preexisting way of getting with Splendor? Good to know I guess.

>What else do you get or do before leaving?
I'd like to ask Splendor about awakenings, but it looks like we're both gonna be a little busy to talk about how scary mind powers work. More pressing issues. Worry about what your brain might be doing once you'v made sure it's not going to be blown out.

>>802654
So, maximum repression. No wonder the hippies are all so eager to help her.

Bring tranqs and camo. Zip ties.

>>802744
Good call, we need something less lethal than a rile if we want sending people home naked instead of dead to even be an option.

Bored Max 2017/05/18(Thu)22:14 No. 802847 ID: cfe4f0
File 149517088309.png - (11.26KB , 500x500 , tac1.png )

You start packing. The easy choices go first: A few different ghillie suits, a few packed blind netting sets, the M24 and a box of 30-06, the stechkin is already on you, your multitool, a couple field latrine pouches, a couple water tanks, your current "field ruggedized" portable computer with full keyboard and touchpad, two tents, enough trail mix to cover for other people who didn't bring an acceptable lunch.
The question of non-lethal is a tough one, so you pack a set of strip-ties, a couple old pairs of police duty handcuffs, and grab a couple hundred feet of rope. How you're actually going to take down people non-lethally is a good question, aside from gunpoint intimidation. So, you bring this problem to the resident alpha nerd, since he also serves as the chief armoury technician.

"So, Blue Smoke, I need something like tranquilizer darts for non-lethal."
"Do you want tranquilizer guns or something effective and genuinely non-lethal for use on humans?"
"The latter. What have you got?"
"Pepper spray cans, and paintball guns with pepper-loaded balls. Your reinforcements will be bringing grenade launchers with teargas."
"That's... probably a lot better than tranq darts, what can you give me?"
"A dozen full-auto paintball guns, and here's jars of pepperballs, I'll give you ten thousand. Don't mess with the electrics."
"How strong is the pepper mix?"
"Try it, I dare you. Squish one, put it on your tongue. You maybe not black out from it."

You fetch the Tac-50 and some ammo while you're here, since you might get to kill some trucks, and then take your shower.

The shower is bliss, but all too soon you have to go round up your Cpl. and MCpl. troopers. You find Chatty and Evil Eye in the mess, staring at oatmeal and not eating.
These are your troopers so you give them orders. "If you're not having any more breakfast come and follow me, we've gotta grab some field-lunch."
They both give you salutes and rattle off, "Miss. Yes Miss." Fuck!

Trying not to decide this is a terrible day too early, you lead your ducklings off.

*

The sun is now fully risen, and it's 0644. You had Cpl. "Chatty" Cooper, and MCpl. "Evil Eye," Freeman help you push your truck up a small hill, positioned for a quick getaway takeoff. Now it is time to start deploying blinds. One goes on the top of the hill at the West corner of where the access road begins because it's got a "commanding view" of the whole area. One goes in the brush at the end of the first bend in the access road, facing South down it towards the main road from where the really hilly parts start. One goes in the brush on the East side of the road. One goes in the brush at the south of the T-junction where the access road to Fort Hippie meets the East-West main road. The real question is, which one do you use, if any?

Are the blinds all bluffs, or are you going to use one?
-I am using the one on the East side of the road, it's the only sensible choice for a view, with retreat options and the least likelihood of being hosed with bullets as a precaution.
-The mess of brush south of the T-junction is pretty impassable, and good to conceal myself in while still affording a good view and fair shots at any attempts to block the road. Retreat may be a problem.
-I'm going to settle in ghillie on the hill on the northwest corner of the intersection, trusting in the decoy blind to attract fire if they're actually smart enough to look up.
-____________ <---The whole area is covered in medium to heavy woods. The bandits are expected to come from the West unless they take the long way around.

Position your troopers where?
-They're here to watch my back, plus it's a lot easier to coordinate a plan if they're starting from my position.
-The woods in the North-East corner of the intersection. They're CQB, they want all the cover they can get near the enemy approach, and I don't know if these two have stakeout discipline problems.
-____________ <---Note: The main road is pinkish because of xenofungus which ate the pavement and then stayed there.

Nap, or vigilance to start?
-Switch up napping with my troopers, we don't even know if these wannabe-raider bandits are going to arrive today or not.
-Eh, I'll keep one eye open.
-____________ <---Other activities to pass the time go here.

I think I know what I'm doing. I'll also assume we're using the TAC-50 for our opening shots.
>I'm going to settle in ghillie on the hill on the northwest corner of the intersection, trusting in the decoy blind to attract fire if they're actually smart enough to look up.
Backup:
>-The woods in the North-East corner of the intersection. They're CQB, they want all the cover they can get near the enemy approach, and I don't know if these two have stakeout discipline problems.
>-Eh, I'll keep one eye open. For awhile. May be time to reconsider after a few hours.
>Alice writes a song about allosaurus , improving it as the day goes on.

>Pepper paint gun
Vicious.

If you aren't already familiar with that weapon, you might want a test fire to check the range.

>Are the blinds all bluffs, or are you going to use one?
>-I'm going to settle in ghillie on the hill on the northwest corner of the intersection, trusting in the decoy blind to attract fire if they're actually smart enough to look up.
I like the idea of bluffs everywhere and this looks like a good spot.


>Position your troopers where?
>-They're here to watch my back, plus it's a lot easier to coordinate a plan if they're starting from my position.

>xenofungus
Convenient. Infrastructure without maintenance. Although in this case, you might be better off if the roads had gone to shit to limit enemy vehicle (and artillery) movement.

>Nap, or vigilance to start?
No need for a nap yet!

>pass time
Do something math related in your head? Maybe run ideas you were thinking of for the game dev stuff.

Bored Max 2017/05/19(Fri)22:07 No. 803141 ID: cfe4f0
File 149525685785.png - (12.99KB , 500x500 , tac2.png )

The roadway xenofungus has a consistency like springy, well-mowed turf. This gives it a lower safe top speed than asphalt thanks to the lower traction, but the regularity makes it better than a dirt road.
----

You decide it's smarter to stay away from the two troopers, since their ability to remain motionless for hours is unproven. You station Evil Eye and Chatty in the brush at the North-East corner of the intersection, with instructions to stay quiet, hidden, and as close to motionless as possible. You take position on the hill away from the blind.
To their credit, Chatty and Evil Eye are wearing ghillie for this, but it takes more than that to impress you. These two are carrying automatic shotguns and all, which is not a weapon for the quiet and subtle. You make sure each one has a pain-ball gun in case the first thing that shows up is a single truck of bandits. Now, time to start reading for one of your projects.

*

The hours pass. You nibble, keep your bodily functions addressed in the most stealthy and low-impact way you can, and occasionally answer questions that Evil Eye has. Chatty, thankfully, lives up to his name about as much as Fluffy and his shaved dome lives up to his. You make some progress on your ecology sim code, Jurassic composition, but at this point it involves an awful lot of dry reading about animals that don't exist anymore:

Allosaurus (/ˌæləˈsɔːrəs/[1][2]) is a genus of large theropod dinosaur that lived 155 to 150 million years ago during the late Jurassic period (Kimmeridgian to early Tithonian[3]). The name "Allosaurus" means "different lizard". It is derived from the Greek ἄλλος/allos ("different, other") and σαῦρος/sauros ("lizard / generic reptile").

Eh, what would an allohuman be? Would that just be some other kind of primate like a monkey? You get stuck on this weird thought for a few minutes as the first of the trucks comes roaring through on its way back to base. Only Captain dares move that recklessly fast on mud or fungus roads. He stops a few bends North along the road and comes walking through, leading a trooper with a carbine, and carrying something that looks like the love child of a P90 and a Steyr-Aug. They circle and wander around looking for you for a good five minutes before giving up. Captain turns to Evil Eye and Chatty and calls out, "If it weren't for the network I wouldn't know where you guys are, good stuff!" and returns to his vehicle.

*

Another hour later two more of the trucks have come back through, leaving only the one with Overkill, which is still on its way back.
To kill time, you've taken selfie-shots of yourself positioned like this to make sure you're hard to spot from all the angles, including aerial. There's only so much you can do about IR, but you've done what you can short of digging a hole in the hill to bury yourself. With little else to do, you lift your ghillie and snap a couple rump pics to send to Gloria. You plug your Slate into the network to send them, to minimize detectable signals. The response you get back from her, a few minutes later, is, "Looking good. Need more boyfriend, want to see that ass get filled."

As you're about to unplug the Slate from the network relay, you get another message:
"Current ETA for enemy arrival at chosen base site is after 1400. Expecting ambush crew at road entrance 1500 earliest. Plan to add ten troops to your deployment. Please advise about loadout and position."

Hellfire's beautifully terse dispatches always fill you with joy. Too bad you're about to get sent enough troopers to include a sergeant or one of the lieutenants, and now you have to figure out a plan of deployment for them all. Maybe you don't, the Lt. Col. is good at this.

What do you ask for?
-2 with grenade launchers, the other 8 with standard weapons, and everyone has a pain-ball gun. Handcuffs and rope would be good too.
-2 with grenade launchers, 2 with LMGs, the other 6 with standard weapons, and everybody has a pain-ball gun. Handcuffs and rope would be good too.
-Eh, Hellfire has tangled with raider vehicle problems a lot more than I ever will.
-____________ <---Hellfire's armoury and training is pretty good for conventional stuff.

Where do you put them?
-A group south of the road entrance, another group North of my hill on the West side, the third group further up the road on the East side. All groups should have a clear shot to the entrance to the road.
-One group relaxing in a vehicle North of the action area, one group on the East side of the road North of the blind, and one group West of my hill along the main road.
-Eh, Hellfire has tangled with raider vehicle problems a lot more than I ever will.
-____________ <---The answers to this likely depend on the answers to the first part.

>-Eh, Hellfire has tangled with raider vehicle problems a lot more than I ever will.
This is probably true, but you've also probably had more direct contact with raiders than Hellfire has. Does that give you any insight to what you think they'll be packing? Knowing the enemy is a good step towards countering them effectively.

(Have you even done squad planning before? Sniping is a lot different when you're solo than if you're supporting a team).

I have never specifically NOT wanted light machine guns. There are few, if any, problems they can't solve.

Not just on a tactical scale, either.

Bored Max 2017/05/21(Sun)20:44 No. 803548 ID: cfe4f0
File 149542465291.png - (15.18KB , 500x500 , tac3.png )

It took a moment to think about it, but you send back, "Want 2x of RPG, LMG, and threat update. Handcuffs, strip ties, rope, teargas, gasmasks, and painball good for capture."
You have to wait a quarter hour for a response. The waiting seems to be geting to Evil Eye and Chatty a little, but the silence is golden to you.

"Updated threat assessment: 20 loud bandit diesel technicals, loaded with electric bikes, weapons, and other supplies. Best estimate 6-10 technicals for initial attempt to lockdown road. Sending 3x LMG, 3x RPG, 10x regular arms to make 3 units of 6, and 2 technicals with .50cal for air defense and decoy force."

That is a sizable deployment of Fort Hippie's professional soldiers. Almost every adult is part of the 'militia' but the vast majority are folks that neither you nor the command staff expects to actually fight in a battle. They've only got about 60-70 full-time soldiers, depending on if you count the commanders, and most of them are usually either training or monitoring the defenses and responding to issues. Also, you're confused by the mention of, "air defense." Nobody has an air force worth speaking of except Waterloo, and theirs is all unmanned. What can the enemy fly? You ask about it.

"Light UAVs. It's a mix of small scale RC helicopters and prop-planes with visual and IR cameras. Expect them less than 100m above canopy altitude."

Enemy recon is an important target. During the nightmare days your solution to that problem was to dig a lot of traps before you started firing, and add another wherever you saw the enemy survive a trap so that they were never sure where they were. That whittled down the ones brave enough to chase you, and scared everyone else into hiding. That won't work here, and it's far too slow and deadly if it did. The perils of living in a place nice enough to be a target for artillery fire. You sign off on the deployment proposal to put everyone else in three groups hidden in the brush at least 20 meters back from the roads.

*

The reinforcements are all here and in place by 1300. These people sure do trust their sensors, more than you would. Someone handed you a gasmask pouch, but you figure shit has probably gone wrong enough to merit retreat if you want to use that. You tested it anyway, adjusted it, and put it back in the pouch. The pouch goes on your belt, it's resting on your back in case you actually do need or want it.

The current arrangement puts the crossfire just inside of the dirt, with one unit South of the road entrance, one North-East of the intersection, and the backup unit on the West side North of your position. Captain's driving one of the pickup trucks with .50cal guns, and some Sergeant is driving the other one. The guns can be driver-operated, or remote-operated by someone back at the base, but there are guys doing it manual, crewing the gun turrets welded in the bed of each truck. These people take giving zero intel to the enemy seriously.

*

At 1358 you get another update. "Enemy ETA revision, expect arrival at 1505 or later." You ask for a clarification, and get, "Depends on their use of UAVs and positioning. May be later than 1600 if they decide to move in from East and West simultaneously. Will advise as new developments noted."

This is pissing you off a bit. At least your truck should have recharged its batteries by now. A buzz from the West-South-West starts grabbing your attention for a moment, then a burst of fire from the second technical silences whatever it was. An alert goes out, "First enemy damage, Cpl. Blindsight. Good shooting."
Waiting all day to watch some girl with a .50cal machine gun smack down a little toy airplane has started getting boring. War is long periods of boredom broken up by moments of terror and destruction.

What part are you going to try for?
-I'm one ingredient in an ambush soup, I should leave that decision to the chefs.
-My Tac-50 has Raufoss 211s, perfect for shooting enemy trucks dead so they can't retreat.
-Never mind enemy material damage, I'm gonna hit leaders, turret gunners and people that look competent with my M24.
-____________ <---What is your mark, sniper?

You're going devices off, so the enemy can't find you with an antenna. When are you taking the shot?
-Tell command I am waiting 2-3 hours after enemy arrival, until at least an hour after their guard should have relaxed. Stay buried until then, no matter what happens.
-Tell command I am waiting for someone else to start the fun. I intend to join the fun when the enemy is most distracted.

>These people take giving zero intel to the enemy seriously.
A damn fine attitude you whole heatedly approve of.

...hopefully Many Crows isn't as good at bullshit intelligence gathering as She Gives.

>What part are you going to try for?
>-Never mind enemy material damage, I'm gonna hit leaders, turret gunners and people that look competent with my M24.
This seems the right attitude to me. We're more interested in embarrassing these chumps then making sure they can't run, which means we put a priority on shutting down anyone competent before they fight back. Plus, this hopefully bodes better for chances of allied casualties.

Plus, you're the best shot here, and trucks are a big target. Surely someone else is better tasked killing those?

>-I'm one ingredient in an ambush soup, I should leave that decision to the chefs.
But you could, you know, confirm your orders. Say what you're designating your targets as and see if they give you a good reason to do something else.

>You're going devices off, so the enemy can't find you with an antenna. When are you taking the shot?
>-Tell command I am waiting for someone else to start the fun. I intend to join the fun when the enemy is most distracted.
If the opening shot is from a sniper up on high, the enemy knows you're up there. If you're firing at distracted people, no one will realize you have overwatch till it's too damn late.

Bonus points if you shoot anyone you know knew somewhere painful and uncomfortable.

Shooting personnel seems like the wrong attitude to me. If we cause material damage, we stymie this approach, and send them off packing, lacking the means for a next time. And more survivors puts greater strain on their food.

Too many kills and it becomes a matter of vengeance to hit us later.
But strategically, these bandits might be unlikely to abandon taking fort Hippie, which would change things.

Bored Max 2017/05/23(Tue)16:44 No. 803973 ID: cfe4f0
File 149558306980.png - (39.79KB , 750x367 , technical-pickup1.png )

You're indecisive about your target, because you aren't sure whether you should be trying to kill these bandits or their vehicles. On the one hand, enemy kills are people who can't shoot back. On the other hand, you know very well that an immobile enemy easily becomes a defeated enemy. So, you check up the line.
"Going devices off to avoid scan. Will wait for enemy busy with you to act. Top priority trucks or pricks?"

It takes a minute to get your answer. "Kill the truck engine on any that can retreat, then kill any enemy that still are threats under teargas." You get pictures of the eight trucks that are coming inbound.
This plan strikes you as bold, and may even be too bold. You don't have to aim for the trucks if it turns out the enemy isn't as easy as the Fort Hippie people think it will be, though.

*

It has been two hours since they got here, and fuck these raider trucks are loud. Two of the eight already left, leaving six behind. Guessing by the backup beeping noises you heard while they were parking, two are pointed up the road towards Fort Hippie, and the other four are facing the main road.

The would-be raiders deployed a shitty, radio-networked set of sensors that don't detect much. According to their chatter, their sensor network is mostly intended to watch the roadway. The enemy sound far more worried about Children of God or Waterloo coming to intervene than the forces of Fort Hippie, which you find interesting. You guess they are relying on Slates for their long-range communications, which must make them easy to track to the people watching back at the fort.

You are surprised that the enemy can't detect the wired sensor network that was installed long before they got here. What you're not surprised about is that the sensors they're using aren't good and numerous enough to spot you buried in dirt and vegetation. You are deep enough that you will have to dig out to see, and your breathing hole opens up behind a thick enough tree they can't find the heat plume from that either.

It's bothering you that you're hearing people fucking and you can't watch. Guessing by the angle, in one of the two trucks pointed up the road is a couple going at it. This leaves you with listening, and they are loud.

Someone else starts screaming her head off, yelling about her ass being on fire. You're amused that this seems to cause the fucking moron couple to stop.
"You shit yourself, dumbass! You must have had too much hot sauce!"
"Fuck aaaaarragh!"
More dumbasses open up their car doors, probably going out to get a look at the first thing to happen since they got here. Maybe some of them are going to help Miss shit herself?

The stupidity comes to an abrupt halt when the grenadiers shoot a lot of flashbangs and teargas grenades at the enemy truck arrangement. When the bangs stop you take that as your cue to dig out and take a look. The bandits out in the open are getting hosed with paintballs, and screaming in pain. The smartest pair of bandits, two that were watching the road, close shut their sunroof and try to make a break for it. They gun the engine, but their truck is the first to have its engine go pop due to action from on high. They drift forward two meters before they come to a stop, not even close to the main road.
The Tac-50 is a heavy beast, and it's too big to easily position here, but you shoot the engines of the trucks at the ends. With the last shot, you break a HMG whose operator has more bravery than sense. Switching to your M24, you go on overwatch, but by this point the enemy is incapacitated or terrified into surrender except for one. You hit him in the right side.

Everybody that isn't already retching and writhing on the ground in pain has their hands up. The regular armed people from all three teams are there, pointing six combat shotguns and six assault rifles around. Three more soldiers in gasmasks arrive, to start tying up people, and you're embarrassed just by watching this. You put on your gasmask to avoid being hit too badly by the teargas fumes, and continue keeping overwatch as the bandits are all captured.

You're pretty sure this was too stupid to count as combat.
-I need to go back to base and hit something.
-I need to go back to base and eat something.
-I have to know what these maniacs are doing for an encore.
-____________ <---Alice is feeling dirty, tired, and a bit pissed off.

Do you even want to know what happened?
-I suspect it would damage my mind to find out.
-It was effective, somehow, so I need to know what these nutjobs did.

>You're pretty sure this was too stupid to count as combat.
Well at least they took your "humiliate them till they leave us alone" analysis seriously. It's good to be listened to?

Were the bandits worth carrying any loot worth making eyes over?

>-____________ <---Alice is feeling dirty, tired, and a bit pissed off.
These bandits are probably sufficiently miserable and humiliated we can't find any fun in humiliating them further.

A shower (or a swim?) would address 2, possibly 3 of those problems. And you can always find something (someone) to eat or something (someone) to hit afterwards if you still feel you need to.

>Do you even want to know what happened?
They shot someone up the butt, or got to her food when the bandits weren't paying attention. What's to know?

Well, you know you're not getting in a prank war with any of these maniacs anytime soon, that's for sure.

Bored Max 2017/05/25(Thu)17:15 No. 804451 ID: 95aee2
File 149575770886.png - (42.28KB , 798x698 , warning.png )

You start packing up your stuff. As you're almost done, Lieutenant Overkill walks over. She puts her hands on her hips, frowns at you, and starts talking.
"Congratulations, once again you make me feel like we need a lot more target practice. The guy you shot is going to live, with no brain damage even."
"I tried to put him down, but not six feet under. I chose the right lung to take the fight out of him, but also be survivable with medical attention."
"'Chose the right lung' you say, and the worst part about it is I'd bet on you telling me the truth. Well thank you, someone else doing it would've made a corpse, and apparently we want these ones alive for some dumb thing. The main reason I came here to talk to you is about their reinforcements. We don't need you for it, but do you want to go on to the bonus round?"
"If you don't need me yet you're better off without. I'm stiff, hungry, dirty, and have too much unspent physical energy and tension to deal with before I can do a good stalk again. Should I leave up the blinds?"
"May as well take 'em down. These fools didn't notice any of your decoy camo without heat and EMF behind it to catch on the sensors. Need anything or should I go back to dressing prisoners in prison overalls?"
"What's my share of the loot?"
"We'll have to see what's left after we get done killing all the bugs and doing triage on the captured stuff. We don't hope for much that's useful besides the HMGs."
"Most of it is usually crap or common stuff, but bandit loot can have all kinds of unexpected treasures mixed in. I'd like to take a look through it, searching for cool things."
"You and everyone else, but maybe you earned it. I'll put a note in my report about it. Please let us know when you're ready for more, with all these prisoners to watch we will need you out in the field on missions."

*

The shower was long, and it helped. Late dinner in the mess is solitary for you, because you're not in a fit state for conversation right now. This does not stop you from being the object of conversation, however.

"It's not a long story, the teargas and flashbangs worked, and everybody else was in too much pain and confusion to do anything except this one guy. His eyes were swollen shut and running with tears, and he was swinging around a chain gun towards us. It looked like he was going to spray and pray with it, and he may have hit some of us. But nope, creepy sniper girl stopped him with one bullet."
"I saw the video of her job audition. Twenty four people, twenty four bullets. Her idea of a missed shot is when it's outside 1 MOA off. It's unreal."
"No, no, it's very real. I'm sure those skills are the result of more live fire, live target, full shit shooting experience than I will ever get. It makes me wonder how such a young'un got so experienced."
"Creepy sniper girl is owed I say. The tenacious asshole could've hit us if nobody got him in time, he could have even killed someone. There's little I wouldn't do for her right now."
"Would you let her fuck your girlfriend? She has been known to spend 'quality time' with Splendor if you know what I mean."
"I might not still be alive without her, and my life for my girlfriend is a fair price. She scares me too much so I might need help to get it up for her, but I'd even let her fuck me."
"Oh sure, you'd 'let' her. After seeing her dressed up nice yesterday I'd pay for the chance to treat her to drinks, dancing, and a massage, eh? Am I right?"
"She also has good hearing, and doesn't seem to like people talking about sex at the dinner table. Try keeping your fantasies a bit more private if you sluts want to have a smidge of a chance."

You're not sure if it is nice to be appreciated. For starters, not even your stupidity is interested in the people discussing lewd hypotheticals about you. The men are all at least one of too short, weak or flabby, and while some of the women look strong enough none of them have the generous front and rear bumpers you want. It says something that your inflamed, animal, breeding lust is beyond the point self-service can help without taking hours, and you're still not interested.
All this excess physical energy has got to be spent somehow though. You need to do something.

What are you doing with your pent-up energy and tension?
-Run half a marathon. I need the exercise.
-Heavy bag for over an hour, until my arms and legs finally are all slowed down.
-Exercise later: Track down Splendor as soon as possible.
-Exercise later: It's ladies night at Gloria's place, and as their angel on high people will be buying me all the drinks. What do I wear?
-____________ <---Alice is clean and fed, and has too much physical energy to sit around.

Are you planning to meet with Splendor this evening?
-Only for conversation. I'm trying for two whole days without giving in to my *her* lust.
-Fuck it, and fuck her. If she's going to tell me she likes my fetishes, I'm going to do some of them with her again.
-Perhaps later, it depends what happens next.

>Creepy sniper girl
Sounds like Spade really needs to up his game for sticking you with a nickname.

>What are you doing with your pent-up energy and tension?
>-Heavy bag for over an hour, until my arms and legs finally are all slowed down.
Sure, let's hit something. Without air quotes or an implied meaning, even.

>Are you planning to meet with Splendor this evening?
I really want to talk to someone we can trust about all the awakening nonsense Truth dropped in our lap. Moniker aside, she hasn't been your most reliable source. Or at least, a source who's judgement you really trust.

As for stupid stuff, I guess we'll see.

Bored Max 2017/05/27(Sat)19:52 No. 804780 ID: 95aee2
File 149593995424.png - (55.36KB , 745x1053 , bgloves.png )

With dinner finished, you clean up after yourself and send a message to Splendor asking about her schedule this evening. Next, you go back to your room to get together a good outfit for exercise and stuff it in a gym bag. The plan now is to go release some pent up energy and aggression at the gym.

As you arrive at the gym, you get Splendor's response on your Slate: "Processing prisoners. Will make time for you before Snow. Current est. 2 hours or less."
Your mission is clear: You have to commit as much violence as you can on the 91kg bag, and be ready to visit Splendor inside of two hours. Time to get serious. In the changing room you quickly strip down to your sportsbra, socks and panties, then add tight shorts and running shoes. Next you add the boxing-gloves, elbow pads and kneepads from the locker with your name on it. Those are important, because you don't want to have to stop because of excess damage to you or the bag.

As you exit the change room, the object of your desire awaits you. There it swings, suspended from a frame of four heavy log towing chains, stitched together from cured hide with more leather. There's someone else hitting it, but when you enter the part of the gym with weights and boxing equipment people turn to look at you, including him. The man obligingly gets out of your way with a smile, and goes over towards an unused fixed weight set. You tell him, "Thank you," and get to work.

*

"People are calling this one 'creepy sniper girl?' Shit, she isn't creepy. She is flat out terrifying, that's what she is. She looks so happy doing violence that would kill somebody twice her size, ten times over."
"Definitely punching above her weight class, yeah. She looks like she'd be out of skin on her knees, elbows and knuckles by now without the protection. Is she practicing to try and kill a bear with her bare hands?"
"Don't stare. Go back to your own workout, now, or else I'm putting you in the ring and inviting her to give you some motivation."
"Oh fuck no. But that gives me an idea. For her nickname, I think she earns the name 'Firepower.'"
"Not bad, I'll send that one to the Captain for the list."

*

You had to pace yourself to avoid cramping, but you feel great. The use of the facilities and the latest shower had you humming to yourself, and you haven't been in this good a mood since... yeah, not dwelling on that now. You also arrive in front of the door to Splendor's office ten minutes early.
She gets there two minutes after you do, obviously fresh from a shower herself. "Hi Alice!" She hugs you, engulfing you in the black cloak of her loose hair. Your awkwardness with hugging her back isn't entirely due to the sluggishness of your muscle response, but you like trying to re-learn to hug people with her help. You think you're getting better at it.
After giving you a peck on each cheek, she lets go of you and unlocks the door to her office, bringing you to the facing couches and sitting down. As usual when she's having a private meeting with you, she's wearing high heels, thigh-stockings, and a dress that is too short to fully conceal her pubic area. This time the high heels are pink sandals with straps that go partially up her calves, the stockings are shimmering white and go about halfway up her thighs, and the dress matches her stockings but doesn't make it more than halfway down her ass standing up. Is that even still called a dress when it's that short, or is it a shirt with a flared hemline? The thong she's wearing is this pink, lace thing with as much patterned gaps in the stitching as thread, giving you a partial view of... somewhere you're trying not to stare.
As usual she waits until you know she has seen you looking between her legs to do it: She leans back and hugs one of her knees to her chest so you get a better view. Then she asks, "So, what's new?"

Splendor knows pretty much everything about you that you're willing to say. She's been helping you get a handle on PTSD and your other difficulties.
-Talk about yesterday's panic episode at Gloria's Place. Splendor needs to know about the difficulties I've been having to help me.
-Psychic powers! I need to talk about those because I don't trust what Truth has to say, or did say.
-Ask what the deal is about these gods. Hellfire knows something about Truth being a dumb bitch last night, and the upper staff here must understand what she's up to better than I do.
-It's important to find out what she got from the prisoners during interrogation, including whether they know that Red Sonja is still alive.
-____________ <---Anything else on your mind?

Splendor is also a retired whore. You respect that for her sex and sexuality is professional skill and experience more than dumb, animal appetite.
-I have more important things to discuss than my filthy, stupid, desires. At least for now I do.
-I should talk to her about clothing, and behaviour, for handling social expectations better. And dating, I don't know much about dating.
-I need to talk about Gloria... and Truth, I need advice.
-I should talk about how to date men, and maybe Lieutenant Snow. I was lucky to get my first boyfriend without any dating at all.
-____________ <---Splendor isn't charging. It's her job as counsellor and security to help you keep your mind and libido together. You're very sure she likes you, and loves doing this part of the job.

>Will make time for you before Snow.
Does Alice know Spendor is sleeping with Snow? It was mentioned, but OOC. >>802081

>Firepower
Literally what you do, plus redhead pun. There's a keeper, I think.

>Spendor's appearance
Well, she's sure putting on a show for you. Not sure how much of that is because she likes you, versus a calculated effort to make you comfortable / amenable for the therapy angle (I mean it's almost certainly both, it's the ratio in question).
>It's her job as [counselor] and security to help you keep your mind and libido together. You're very sure she likes you, and loves doing this part of the job.
Asked and answered, then.

>Splendor knows pretty much everything about you that you're willing to say. She's been helping you get a handle on PTSD and your other difficulties.
Hearing you have someone to actually talk to about stuff is a lot more positive and healthy than I was expecting. Go sex-hippies?

>-Talk about yesterday's panic episode at Gloria's Place.
>-Psychic powers! I need to talk about those because I don't trust what Truth has to say, or did say.
>-Ask what the deal is about these gods. Hellfire knows something about Truth being a dumb bitch last night, and the upper staff here must understand what she's up to better than I do.
>-It's important to find out what she got from the prisoners during interrogation, including whether they know that Red Sonja is still alive.
...can we just go all of the above? Asking Spendor about psy stuff seems the most pressing thing personally, followed by getting another opinion on this god business being pretty important to the tactical situation (and also people poking into your personal business).

We can mention we had a panic attack (and that they helped handle it) for full disclosure, but I don't really want to focus on it. We can probably find out the tactical distillation of the interrogations later, but it would be nice to know if they were talking about Red Sonja.

>Splendor is also a retired whore. You respect that for her sex and sexuality is professional skill and experience more than dumb, animal appetite.
So... following that chain of logic, would you feel better about yourself if you harnessed your sex drive by selling your body for money, instead of continuing being at the mercy of animal instincts as a time wasting inconvenience?

As for the actual options for discussion: punt, and see how much time we burn on the other stuff first?

Bored Max 2017/05/29(Mon)03:11 No. 804974 ID: 95aee2
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You choke down the dirty ideas Splendor arouses, and begin talking with her. She quickly settles down to merely keeping her legs wide enough apart so you can look at the pink lace.

First you talk about how you were halfway to shooting Fluffy yesterday. Splendor tells you not to worry over it, because worrying is the worst thing you can do. Getting stressed and afraid without clear and present reasons to be makes it more likely to happen. Then she repeats her advice to get it under control better: That you should manage your stress more proactively, get more familiar with your environment, make friends, and get to know people so they startle you less.
It would be great advice if you were planning to stay here in Fort Hippie with these people. On the other hand, friends and lovers to hug could help improve your quality of life.

You saved the most stressful topic for after you're warmed up to talking: You tell a short version of the story of Truth's weird meeting with you last night. Splendor facepalms and grumbles as you tell it, mumbling she is tempted to bend Truth over her knee and spank her. She assures you there can't be a secret murder cult in Fort Hippie. She doesn't know much about spontaneous power development besides knowing that it is a thing that can happen, which is pretty rare. She's never heard of your tendency to notice people looking at you being a kind of psychic thing. Splendor suggests Truth could be telling the truth, since she is the most capable psychic in Fort Hippie, trained by the Children of God special forces, and she can do everything she can plus more.
Splendor explains what she does know: Psychic powers are mostly sensory, and they operate on one other person at a time the psychic is focusing on. There are psychic powers which can be used to command and influence someone, or even hurt them, but the effects are mostly focused, limited, and temporary. Some of them need physical intimacy to work, which requires a lot of time or the psychic grabbing someone using a violation glove. The power Truth tried to awaken is the one psychics are most known for. It lets her look inside someone's head and know if you're telling the truth, what you're feeling, learn some of your intentions, and what you want from her.
Splendor spreads her legs a little wider and winks after the last part, so you hurry on to the next subject before you can blush full tomato red... or worse.

You ask what Splendor can tell you about gods. It's not her specialty, but she hears that most of them are in a constant battle to exist. They act to gain followers and adherents, and through followers to influence the world mostly to gain a larger following. They also act to achieve other goals, which usually have something to do with their meaning and area of focus, or supporting their followers.
She isn't very frightened of Many Crows because she thinks he has a single, serious follower hidden in Fort Hippie, and that he or she is one of the non-key personnel. She's pretty sure there's no secret murder priest around because priests can't do the whole invoking their deity thing without a cult to do the rituals. She thinks he is boasting of his follower to mess with people and get them chasing a non-issue. The Colonel, Doctor Marco, Blue Smoke, and Truth are people who would know more about it than she does, and she suggests you ask Blue Smoke or Truth for more information.
When you complain how Truth seems crazy at best, she tells you Truth has never been known to lie during the half a year she's lived here in Fort Hippie. She thinks Truth just got off on the wrong foot with you because she was worried you were a secret murder priest here to kill everybody, and after saying so she facepalms again. Still holding her face, Splendor adds that Truth is surprisingly awkward for a priestess.

Your curiosity leads you to ask about the interrogations and the other ops. According to Splendor, these bandits don't know much of interest except for one thing: Nice dragged along a doctor who isn't loyal or happy to be stuck helping out the bandits. You're amused by the story of how Snow's group used painted claw strips across the road and an ambush to take all four bandit trucks sent as reinforcements. There were more wounded than in your sneak attack though, two gunners were thrown from their turrets, and the lead truck spun off the road and crashed into a tree, tearing up its driver and shotgun rider pretty badly. The day's tally for enemy captures is twenty five in the jail, and five more restrained in the hospital, with no kills. They also got two intact and eight destroyed technicals. Half the initial force is captured with only minor friendly casualties.

The talk winds down from there. You start to complain about how sex is a big, unwelcome distraction for you most of the time when your conversation is interrupted by Snow's knock on the door.
Splendor calls out, "Sorry, the prior session is running late, give me a couple minutes." She whispers to you, "So, are you going to watch today? Also, would you like a little, temporary, psychic help with your panic issues? If you want the help, there's the quick and disturbing way, or if you can wait until Snow's gone there's the slow and fun way."

Are you going to watch?
-Why wouldn't I watch Snow being a filthy animal? I like seeing him grunting and sweating as he tries to squirt his slime in Splendor. The way she plays with that is fun too.
-Eh, not today. That slut is always putting his dong in the wrong hole, and I've seen that already.
-____________ <---Go ahead and make a specific suggestion what to do besides watching Snow and Splendor go at it.

Do you want the psychic help?
-Hit me with that violator glove thing you were talking about, Splendor. It's not even a guess that 'the slow and fun way' means she's talking about extended physical intimacy, probably of the sexual kind.
-At least it's a good excuse to give in to my urges. Why not get my head fucked in the same appointment as some physical fucking with a skilled practitioner?
-No. No, no, absolutely no.