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Diamond Bud
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You feel like a wreck.
"Terrible," you say.
You fall back onto the bed with a sigh. You know you're going to have to get up sooner or later, just... You just need a few more minutes.
"I feel... lost," you say dully. "Like walking through a mist, so cold, corporeal, like hands grasping..Like looking for something so long you can't even remember what it looked like, until you aren't even sure it was really ever there..." You trail off. "You said 'again', but... I don't want to do this again, I- I'm not even sure I can- I remember...I remember something." You pause again, mouth dry. "I remember death."
If this was a good story, you think, the silence now would be deafening, utter, infinite. Outside, you can hear the first birds waking to greet the sun.
"I am afraid of death." The light from the window is beginning to warm on your face. "I am... I am afraid of suffering." You press the palms of your hands against your face. "There are echoes, in my mind.. Shades of shades, memories of memories- I am sacred of losing myself in them."
You open your eyes, slowly, watch the ceiling above you come into focus, prepare yourself. You look down. The crystals snaking up your chest glitter like greatest depths of the sea, more beautiful than they could ever deserve to be. (you saw the sea once, long before all this) You sit up. "You've spread again, Yojimbo," you say.
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