k0bold 2016/09/09(Fri)17:31 No. 747200 ID: e0f785
File 147346750676.png - (326.88KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-1.png )

Well that's my story and I'm done with this shit.
I could use some help getting out of this auction house.

k0bold 2016/09/09(Fri)17:32 No. 747201 ID: e0f785
File 147346755050.png - (474.80KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-2.png )

I might be a bit rusty at this but I'm pretty sure if you help with fight planning, describing what I should do to who and overall strategy, I can manage the rest.
So who gets the 'bold fist first?

Guy at the podium has the keys- I'd say that's a good place to start. When the auctioneer comes close, head-butt to the side to knock the wind out of him, grab the keys and free your self. Hope you're ready to commit some more war crimes because this place is about to become a battle zone.

Get the barker at the podium first, snatch the keys now in the moment of confusion. Use your deadliest flips and spinniest kicks.

Before we begin we need to know what we are working with. Are you flexible enough to quickly get your arms under your feet? Did they clip your claws? Are there any weapons in the immediate vicinity? The auctioneer's gavel does not look too promising. Any farm implements? Heavy metal objects?

I see keys in that podium. Use fist on the auctioneer so you can grab the keys. Once you have the keys, toss them to anyone else who can unlock themselves and keep punching. Go for the gavel as it could make for a decent weapon and then take out whoever seems likely to be a threat.

Submit yourself for sale

Also what about the other prisoners? Do they look like they'd be ready to fight their way out too?

You're too high profile to just steal the keys. You need to make a distraction.

Look to the other prisoners in the auction. Point your snot directly at the keys and instruct them to "Free Me", which should shift the auctioneer's attention to you. Then, go straight for the richest-looking bastard in the audience and attempt a lethal strike with your jaws. They'll be fine, seeing as they have enough money for health care. Thrash around with your teeth while you focus your senses towards returning to the podium. Get back to the other prisoners, free yourself with the keys, and unlock as many prisoners as you can.

From there, instruct each of your accomplices to take a rich hostage - NOT THE ESCORTS OR HOOKERS, THEY'RE EXPENDABLE - and scatter in various directions. They'll likely focus their security and police instructions towards the prisoner with the highest-priority client, so that client should induce a single wound and focus on hostage exchange while the others should either (A) takedown their hostage or (B) bind their hostage as an asset and take them along.

Scout out your accomplices. Do they look like they'd last in a fight? Can you talk to them in your native Draconic tongue and maybe tip them off that shit is about to go down?

k0bold 2016/09/10(Sat)08:14 No. 747271 ID: e0f785
File 147352044561.png - (263.77KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-4.png )

>Are you flexible enough to quickly get your arms under your feet?
It's not really a question of flexibility; thanks to kobold anatomy there's just no way to fit my legs past. I might be able to get my tail under but what's the point?
>Did they clip your claws?
No need, they're already dulled from working in the mines.
>Are there any weapons in the immediate vicinity?
Yeah, but they're locked up or ground down right now.
>Can you talk to them in your native Draconic tongue
>instruct them to "Free Me"
>attempt a lethal strike with your jaws
Hard to use my mouth for anything when it's bound shut.

k0bold 2016/09/10(Sat)08:22 No. 747272 ID: e0f785
File 147352093120.png - (291.54KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-5.png )

>what about the other prisoners? Do they look like they'd be ready to fight their way out too?
>Look to the other prisoners in the auction.
> Scout out your accomplices. Do they look like they'd last in a fight?
My auction buddy seems to be enjoying the attention she's getting. I don't think she'd be down to fight anything.
The slumpy one in the back seems deep in thought but relatively unbound. Maybe they'd be able to help?
The crying one doesn't seem to happy with their situation, maybe if they suck it up and get over being sold as a slave they'd be able to do something about it.
Now the feisty one in the back seems ready to bite stuff. Unless they're just playing? I don't know why their snout is unbound.

k0bold 2016/09/10(Sat)08:32 No. 747274 ID: e0f785
File 147352152637.png - (352.73KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-3.png )

>Submit yourself for sale
I've been submitting for too long.

>When the auctioneer comes close, head-butt to the side to knock the wind out of him
>Get the barker at the podium first
>Use fist on the auctioneer so you can grab the keys
Hell yeah about time.
Well he is the closest and those shiny keys do look helpful.

He sees me coming but it's a little too late. He does manage to get out an exasperated
"Oh not again"

Take the keys and quickly free your limbs. Go straight for the guy in the armor, as he's probably your biggest threat. You won't be able to do much to him without a weapon, but you can at least knock him down. Wrap your arms around his thigh and twist him off balance. If he has a weapon, take it.

He looks more annoyed than hurt. I think you're a little more rusty than you thought. You may have to just grab the keys and run.

Keys and run- you're a hardened war vet so you should know you're not gonna want to go up against armored guards when you're naked and bound.

That remark doesn't bode well for your short term plans.
Let's hope you can release yourself and improvise a weapon really fast. Is there any hard object bigger than that little hammer? Let's start small if needed.
Unless you want to trust miss pretty you will need to fight to reach the other prisoners. Shark dude seem as dangerous as armor guy, more so if they are disarmed, but much less protected. Why don't we start by clubbing his cartilaginous skull?

>>747274
This guy seems used to escape attempts, crowd seems like a dangerous path to take.
Which way back to the holding areas? those keys might do some damage there and get you a distraction.

>>747274
Once you free yourself, toss the keys to weepanbold. They'll be very grateful and will try to help you escape somehow probably.

Snatch the keys and free your-self, if you've got time, go free the feisty one as well.

>>747274
So how are you going to grab those keys, untie yourself, and get out of here before security or that whole audience of would-be buyers in front of you do something about it?

Keep headbutting him to the ground

Yeah, you're not going to be able to free YOURSELF with your hands bound tightly and in such an awkward position. You might be able to get them to somebody else, though. Weepy looks like he's upset AND he has his hands in a not-entirely-unhelpful position.

Only unlock one manacle, no point wasting time on both of them.

k0bold 2016/09/11(Sun)07:04 No. 747433 ID: e0f785
File 147360266375.png - (440.95KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-6.png )

>He looks more annoyed than hurt. I think you're a little more rusty than you thought.
Maybe. Or maybe it's pretty hard to get much force behind a headbutt when your ankles are tied together.
It bought a few seconds at least.

>keys
Snatchin'

>Which way back to the holding areas?
This is a pretty small auction house, the holding areas are that stand in the back and the side of the auction platform.

k0bold 2016/09/11(Sun)07:09 No. 747435 ID: e0f785
File 147360298476.png - (276.34KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-7.png )

>free your limbs
>Use your deadliest flips
>Run
Let's try combine some of these.

>you're not going to be able to free YOURSELF with your hands bound tightly and in such an awkward position.
You underestimate average kobold dexterity.

>Only unlock one manacle, no point wasting time on both of them.
They might hurt more than a bare fist too, if not awkward to use.

>Is there any hard object bigger than that little hammer? Let's start small if needed.
Oh yeah, that pen looked pretty pointy.

k0bold 2016/09/11(Sun)07:15 No. 747437 ID: e0f785
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"This happens all the time, folks. Nothing to worry about. Just let me handle it"

>So how are you going to ... get out of here before security or that whole audience of would-be buyers in front of you do something about it
Well isn't that handy?

>>747437
Okay so even after that display he's confident you're not a threat, we might be able to use that, how are your escape routes looking right now.
also, does it look like you could get your legs free in the time it takes for him to try anything?

Id suggest that freeing your feet take priority over much else. Then maybe we should merk this auctioneer and take his hammer/calligraphy pen. Also, hes got something in his *left* hand. Looks like it could be a weapon, but its probably just the hammer. Don't underestimate this guy like he has done for you.

(Edited some stuff)

>>747437
Call him a deal-breaker. Then break him, piece by piece. Start with his hands or arms so he can't fight back as effectively. Then get his legs so he can't run.

Maybe you can use the gavel to hammer the pen in somewhere unfortunate.

Look at it this way: if he's a pushover and you dispatch him without trouble, then the armed guards get involved. If he's bad-ass and whoops you, then you're dead. Staring a brawl here doesn't do you much good. Unbind yourself, toss the keys to a nearby slave, grab the pen and go. You don't want to be running around out on the street with slave manacles on, its kind of a giveaway

be nice to this kind man

k0bold 2016/09/11(Sun)17:04 No. 747532 ID: e0f785
File 147363865066.png - (410.53KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-9.png )

"Whoa calm down there, friend. I don't want to hurt you, I just want to find you a nice new home. Now have a sit down and we'll get on with it."

>free legs
Already done when I landed.

>Starting a brawl here doesn't do you much good.
The alternative seems to be trying to get through all the rest of the slavers at once. I want to think that getting one out of the way is making some progress.

>then the armed guards get involved.
This place seems pretty low class, what with the low slave stock, tiny auction room, and questionable clients. I doubt they pay for any guards.

>key passing
Well, she was closest. I can get them back later if needed and I doubt a bidder would bother to subdue something so docile.

>You don't want to be running around out on the street with slave manacles on, its kind of a giveaway
Oops

>be nice to this kind man
While your calm words and forgiving manner might have convinced other kobolds, I am not.

I can finally talk too, so if you can think of anything that would help for me to say, speak up.

Since he was so kind as to keep the audience away from the fight I suggest you make good use of this opportunity to neutralize this opponent before he gather reinforcements. Try to focus on his face and that thing he is holding, it might be a weapon.
As for talking, I can't really imagine a good subterfuge that will help your situation. If you want to make use of the opportunity just declare that your sentence is over.

>>747532
Tell him you had a deal. 20 years for your freedom. SLAVERY IS NOT FREEDOM!

>>747532
"I've already got a home, one I've been away from for far too long and I'm not worth the trouble i'd cause to get back."

>I doubt they pay for any guards.
Of course they pay for guards. They have money, and they have product. If it's not guarded, they're just asking for someone else to walk in and take that stuff of their hands.

"I spent twenty years in jail, waiting, holding back, taking the blows as they came, all so I could take back what was left of my life. Now you're using convict reassignments so you can legally purchase us as your holiday dinner.

Well @#$% you and @#$% your entire family! I'd rather walk out a criminal than be eaten alive by you braindead fatasses!

This guy doesn't seem to want to cause a ruckus- wants to keep the auctioneers nice and happy. And I'd say whatever this guy wants is directly opposed to what we want. Do you think you could get a weapon and a hostage?
The other option is to just go for the kill on our friend in front of us. If you brutalize him hopefully no one will stand in your way. Seems like a fight might be more your style, I'm just not sure about committing to that when he seems so unconcerned. Don't know what he's got in the way of preventative measures. If you can though, a pen to the eye would be a good start, followed up by ripping out is throat with your jaws. Just be wary of whatever's making him so confident

Screw this jerk. We're not letting him sell us off to a "nice home" of more slavery. Knock his lights out.

Dont completly trust your fellow prisoners either. They might back stab you for a number of reasons. Maybe they prefer their odds with the slavers and would rather try and take you down to get it a little easier. Im not saying dont work with them if they appear cooperative, just watch out a bit after you kick this guy's ass.

k0bold 2016/09/12(Mon)19:56 No. 747792 ID: e0f785
File 147373539887.png - (434.10KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-10.png )

>that thing he is holding
An auctioneer's gavel. Normally harmless, but this one carries the weight of my enslavement behind it.

>Of course they pay for guards.
But pay for skilled guards or more for protection from their sheer existence?

>Don't completely trust your fellow prisoners either. They might back stab you for a number of reasons. Maybe they prefer their odds with the slavers and would rather try and take you down to get it a little easier.
That's their mistake, but I will not seriously harm another kobold. We have to look out for each other, the world is out to enslave us.

>can legally purchase us as your holiday dinner.
I don't think modern society has changed that much in my absence.

>Just be wary of whatever's making him so confident
>I'm just not sure about committing to that when he seems so unconcerned
We kobolds weren't held in the highest regards and I doubt that's changed. We sure didn't win that battle, thanks for reminding me I really wasn't angry enough before.
There are only two ways to understand the true heart of a man: drinking and

>neutralize this opponent before he gather reinforcements.
>Knock his lights out.
>Seems like a fight might be more your style
fighting

"Twenty years..."

Charging your badass level?
Your claws may be bull but I trust your teeth are sharp. Show everyone why you were condemned for war crimes.

k0bold 2016/09/13(Tue)15:59 No. 747884 ID: e0f785
File 147380757819.png - (476.88KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-11.png )

"for home!"
Oh he's faster at reacting to actions than he is at reading intentions.
Hopefully that punch'll daze him.

>I trust your teeth are sharp
>ripping out his throat with your jaws
Unfortunately they aren't as sharp you seem to think they are. They're more for gripping and pulling than shredding, we're scavengers. I could bite a limb or neck and hang on or crush it pretty good, but that takes longer than the quick take down I thought we were aiming for.

Still want to try for the old "pen in eye" trick while he might be staggered?

>>747884
Clobber him with his own gavel. Use the tool of subjugation for freedom and vengeance.

>>747886
Yes. If you get a good grip on those iron shackles you can use them as a knuckleduster.

KICK HIM IN THE JIMMY!

>>747884
You've already proved you're really fast so before committing to a move that might get you grappled,; follow up the current punch with a kick and tail slap, all the the head.
If he manages to deal with all that without being dazed or staggered, you'll know using the pen would have been a bad idea.

>>747893
This.

k0bold 2016/09/14(Wed)18:41 No. 747997 ID: e0f785
File 147390366345.png - (552.23KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-12.png )

>Clobber him with his own gavel. Use the tool of subjugation for freedom and vengeance.
The symbolism is not lost on me, but I doubt anyone else would understand the significance. Plus, that gavel looks useless in a fight. I'm not sure why he's still keeping his grip on it.

>If you get a good grip on those iron shackles you can use them as a knuckleduster.
I have slightly less regret about tossing those keys so early.

> KICK HIM IN THE JIMMY!
That might have less effect than you think it would, we reptiles are pretty internal.

>before committing to a move that might get you grappled,; follow up the current punch with a kick and tail slap, all the the head.
I'm not sure if you realize how small I am compared to him. Attacks that high up take a jump, time to commit to, and give a short window for attack.

>>747997
Well he's definitely stunned NOW. Grab the pen, stab away.

Trip him over, then grab the keys.

>>747997
Apply leverage, knock him over.

Trip him! His face will be in the perfect punching position!

Obtain the pen and get stabey.

Try stomping on his neck maybe?

k0bold 2016/09/15(Thu)18:58 No. 748118 ID: e0f785
File 147399113839.png - (448.67KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-13.png )

>Trip him over
>Apply leverage, knock him over.
>Trip him! His face will be in the perfect punching position!
The ol' tail pull (with added leverage).

>Grab the pen, stab away.
>Obtain the pen and get stabey.
I'll see if I can nab it. What to aim for though?

>Try stomping on his neck maybe?
Your lack of confidence isn't very comforting, what are your reservations?

Aim for the eyes! Blind them!

>>748118
Stab the back of his knee then get outta there, no point kicking this guy's ass without doing the escape part.

The reservation is probable related to your lack of mass. Stomping his neck is only worth if you can crush his trachea. If you can pull this off it's a good disabling move.
As for the pen: don't trust too much on it's penetration capacity. The eyes will be easy to stab, but everything else will be protected by his hide.

Stab him in the kidney.

>>748118

he clearly isn't taking you seriously enough. Pen to eye. Some screams will teach him. Or at least leave him thrashing on the floor a bit. See who's feeling fighty after that.

Cutscene k0bold 2016/09/16(Fri)19:53 No. 748225 ID: e0f785
File 147408082369.png - (330.69KB , 1024x668 , kbu-14.png )

He's down and the pen is en route to eye.

What could go wrong?

How about EVERY OTHER SLAVER / SLAVEOWNER IN THE HOUSE?!

Spin around with the pen and if you don't jam it into someone, end with an elbow drop to the auctioneer's neck.

>>748225
Be careful, he still has the gavel in hand.

He might try to Retaliate by trying to knock you over.

Animated k0bold 2016/09/17(Sat)08:19 No. 748270 ID: e0f785
File 147412559332.gif - (524.17KB , 512x512 , kbu-15.gif )

Uh oh

Tear the gavel from their hands and stab them in the eye with the handle, or just beat the shit out of him and run.

>>748270
Left fist on gavel. Now. "stop hitting yourself!" optional.

>>748270
Haha, I ruined your shirt.

Stomp or bash the gavel so he's hammering himself in the eye.

I guess those birds circling above his head were there for no reason.

Fuck it, just start punching him in the face repeatedly while he's prone.

>>748270
you could probably just get out of here while he's prone, either you win and someone else steps in or he wins and you go back on display

>>748344
While still wearing a prison shackle? No, first things first we smash this guy's head in. Slavers get what's coming to them and anyone who wants to join in is welcome to meet the same fate. After he's delt with we get the keys again. No doubt news of excuses Kobolds will travel fast, but hopefully not fast enough to prevent you from disappearing so long as there's no real indication youre involved in all this.

k0bold 2016/09/18(Sun)11:21 No. 748427 ID: e0f785
File 147422287050.png - (284.93KB , 1024x729 , kbu-16.png )

>How about EVERY OTHER SLAVER / SLAVEOWNER IN THE HOUSE?!
Based on not being attacked by any of them, I assume they're watching this like some sort of show. I'm entirely focused on this one on one combat.

>Tear the gavel from their hands
So much attention on this gavel, let's figure out this fascination.

>I guess those birds circling above his head were there for no reason.
Come on, it was my first punch in years and at least it let me get him off his feet.

>Stomp or bash the gavel so he's hammering himself in the eye.
Wouldn't it be more effective to just hit him directly? Why introduce something he has leverage on?

>you could probably just get out of here while he's prone, either you win and someone else steps in or he wins and you go back on display
I know that we kobolds have a reputation for running away, but this man was my breaking point. I'm not leaving while he can still sell other's lives.

>>748379
I like your attitude.

>>748427
Grab that podium or whatever it is he's lying next to and slam it into him. Repeatedly.

>>748437
YES! Crush this fool with the podium stand.

Cutscene (1/3) k0bold 2016/09/18(Sun)17:54 No. 748502 ID: e0f785
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>Grab that podium or whatever it is he's lying next to and slam it into him. Repeatedly.
>YES! Crush this fool with the podium stand.
So indecisive. First gavel this, gavel that. Now the podium. Oh well, he had a pretty tight grip on that anyway.

Not that this is much easier to get a hold of.

Cutscene (2/3) k0bold 2016/09/18(Sun)17:58 No. 748506 ID: e0f785
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"Ruin my flannel? Now I'm ang..."

Cutscene (3/3) k0bold 2016/09/18(Sun)17:59 No. 748507 ID: e0f785
File 147424677408.png - (338.65KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-19.png )

skrunch

Damn! Did they really just stop that with their knee? I'm starting to think this auctioneer isn't just your regular wimp off the streets.

Ouch.

RIP in peas.

>>748508
scrunch is not so much a 'stopping' noise as it is a 'moving through cartilage and bone' noise.

>>748507
got another swing in you or do we ditch the podium in favour of getting his face reacquainted with your fists?

I'd say it's time to liberate your comrades and book it.

Run onto the podium and dropkick his face!

Jump on the podium! Add your weight to the podium's weight and whatever body part made that skrunch noise is going to end up getting broken! Hopefully it was his leg, that way he can't chase after you!

>>748507
Again! Again!

k0bold 2016/09/19(Mon)16:44 No. 748623 ID: e0f785
File 147432866192.png - (340.48KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-20.png )

>I'm starting to think this auctioneer isn't just your regular wimp off the streets.
I don't know what fighting skills the average punk has nowadays.

>got another swing in you or do we ditch the podium
>Again! Again!
It would take a bit of time to get it swinging again, it was a bit unwieldy.

>I'd say it's time to liberate your comrades and book it.
This guy's not staying down yet.

>Run onto the podium and dropkick his face!
>Jump on the podium! Add your weight to the podium's weight and whatever body part made that skrunch noise is going to end up getting broken!
Seems like a nice follow through.

OOH! The idiot forgot to throw the podium aside! Change of plans, hit the podium and smash it into his face!

k0bold 2016/09/19(Mon)17:12 No. 748628 ID: e0f785
File 147433035988.png - (342.15KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-21.png )

>OOH! The idiot forgot to throw the podium aside! Change of plans, hit the podium and smash it into his face!
Or I'm just too fast

Thought I'd split my attention between the face and podium.

Stomp on the podium! It's a smooth surface and it has weight, so jumping up and down on it will allow you to exert maximized force over his ribcage with a solid footing!

Wait if you kill him they will just throw you back into slavery he is sufficiently damaged get out of there

>>748642
I believe they will try to reenslave him whether the person below the podium survives or not. Might as well take your revenge while you have the upper hand.

>>748628
Continue stomping on his face.

>>748628
Follow up with a spinning crack of tail to face, while grinding in your foot.

Continue beating the shit out of trout--uh I mean the auctioneer. Probably shouldn't kill, but you should break a few bones so there's no way in hell he can follow up.

Cutscene (1/3) k0bold 2016/09/20(Tue)16:51 No. 748815 ID: e0f785
File 147441547578.png - (320.65KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-22.png )

>Wait if you kill him they will just throw you back into slavery
>I believe they will try to reenslave him whether the person below the podium survives or not.
Well what did you think they were gonna do?

>Stomp on the podium!
>Continue stomping on his face.
>Follow up with a spinning crack of tail to face, while grinding in your foot.
Well he is still conscious after all.

>Continue beating the shit out of trout--uh I mean the auctioneer. Probably shouldn't kill, but you should break a few bones so there's no way in hell he can follow up.
He clearly isn't a fish, but why not kill? I guess it would take longer at this rate.


uh

Cutscene (2/3) k0bold 2016/09/20(Tue)16:53 No. 748816 ID: e0f785
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

Cutscene (3/3) k0bold 2016/09/20(Tue)16:53 No. 748818 ID: e0f785
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...AAAAAAAAAA
smash

Well okay we're over by the three layabouts. Tell them to get up and help you. They want to escape, right?

Geeze, he must be pretty strong to have made that throw. From his position he didn't exactly have much leverage, and he should have been dazed by all the hits to the head.

Demand your brethren rise up and join you in righteous rebellion against the disgusting slaver!

Listen up maggots! It's time to rise up and fight for our freedom!

>>748818
well that sucks, how you holding up?

k0bold 2016/09/21(Wed)17:44 No. 748956 ID: e0f785
File 147450509789.png - (340.45KB , 1024x794 , kbu-25.png )

>well that sucks, how you holding up?
It was just wood, nothing compared to the rocks from the mines. That grip was pretty tight though.

>Geeze, he must be pretty strong to have made that throw. From his position he didn't exactly have much leverage, and he should have been dazed by all the hits to the head.
He did seem like a bit of a pushover until now, maybe he was just playing with me? It's not like I'm a tenth of his weight or anything...

>Tell them to get up and help you. They want to escape, right?
>Demand your brethren rise up and join you in righteous rebellion against the disgusting slaver!
>Listen up maggots! It's time to rise up and fight for our freedom!
"Hey, you guys wanna get outta here?"

The angry one says "Hey that was pretty tight. I'll kick him!"

The sad one is either impressed at my quick recovery, frightened by the auctioneer's strength, shocked at the sudden freedom opportunity, or something else?

The other one is just lying on the floor.

>>748956
Alright grab a piece of broken wood so you have a weapon. Whoever doesn't want to fight can start opening the door so everyone can run for it once the auctioneer is down.

>>748956
Start breaking them out of their bonds, then.

Bust those bonds, and bust some ass!

Where are the keys? Vanity evidently didn't throw them to the other prisoners after using, if she used them at all. If she is holding them, demand the keys to be passed.
Now you should find yourself behind the audience, assuming they didn't bother to move. Fortunately you finally have access to reasonable blunt weapons. I don't believe they will remain indifferent if you just pass at arms reach, so why don't you collapse the shark skull before returning to the auctioneer?

Keys or no keys, the other prisoners want to fight! Just charge at the auctioneer and dog pile him!

1/3 k0bold 2016/09/22(Thu)16:46 No. 749183 ID: e0f785
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>Start breaking them out of their bonds, then.
>Bust those bonds, and bust some ass!
>Keys or no keys, the other prisoners want to fight!
Maybe this'll be easier than I thought?

>Vanity evidently didn't throw them to the other prisoners after using, if she used them at all. If she is holding them, demand the keys to be passed.
I don't see where she went actually.

>Alright grab a piece of broken wood so you have a weapon.
>Fortunately you finally have access to reasonable blunt weapons.
Yeah, I'll grab a hunk.

2/3 k0bold 2016/09/22(Thu)16:48 No. 749186 ID: e0f785
File 147458810057.png - (374.94KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-26.png )

"You dumb lizard. You probably thought you had me beat, didn't you? Ha. Well now you'll get a taste of my..."

3/3 k0bold 2016/09/22(Thu)16:51 No. 749187 ID: e0f785
File 147458829630.png - (496.05KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-27.png )

"Subjugator's Sledge"

>>749187
It... has an extendible rubber hammer?

Dude, that is the lamest secret weapon in a weapon ever.

... Are those rubber spikes?

Okay, time to run. No sense losing your squad to a half-wit with a whipsaw.

... lol pun.

>>749187
Let the other kobolds distract him then bash him in the legs. Break his knees and you can just escape.

>>749190
Don't underestimate it: Flails are hard to predict and impossible to parry.

k0bold 2016/09/23(Fri)15:48 No. 749384 ID: e0f785
File 147467090297.png - (450.96KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-29.png )

>It... has an extendible rubber hammer?
>... Are those rubber spikes?
That is clearly some sort of magic hammer or maul.

>Let the other kobolds distract him then bash him in the legs. Break his knees and you can just escape.
Still working on getting these bonds off.
Panicky looks like they might be distracting, having run off already.

Angry says "You wanna hurry up? He's menacingly getting closer"

The floor one finally sat up. Looks like they don't even have cuffs on at all?

You heard the man, speed it up!!!

I don't care how you do it, but put the ANGRY back into the unchained kobold. Let's see WHY they HAD to break HIM!

Ha, menacingly is just another word for slowly. You've got some time if he's playing his approach up like that.

Unlock angry and double team this guy. Angry feints a charge and slips off the the left at the last second, going after his legs. You duck to the right and break his arm on your knee while he's distracted. he drops the hammer, you arm yourself and finish the job

k0bold 2016/09/24(Sat)16:10 No. 749627 ID: e0f785
File 147475860169.png - (406.21KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-30.png )

>You heard the man, speed it up!!!
A few more whacks at the shackle broke it, not the highest quality.

>I don't care how you do it, but put the ANGRY back into the unchained kobold. Let's see WHY they HAD to break HIM!
I'm not sure what to say, I mean if an actual uprising doesn't get them immediately involved, what good would words do?
And anger isn't some universal motivating emotion.

>Ha, menacingly is just another word for slowly. You've got some time if he's playing his approach up like that.
While he may be taking it rather slow, it did take a bit of time for me to recover and break those cuffs.

>Unlock angry and double team this guy. Angry feints a charge and slips off the the left at the last second, going after his legs. You duck to the right and break his arm on your knee while he's distracted. he drops the hammer, you arm yourself and finish the job
Sounds like a plan! I hope it's not too complicated.
Oh Angry just went left already. And the auctioneer seems to be focused on me.
I hope that bird doesn't do anything when I pass by it.


"Come on, you seriously think you have a better chance with more 'friends'?"

Useless, ungrateful lizards.

If any of them are still standing around, grab one and toss them at the auctioneer to distract him so you can get inside his reach and start pummeling him again.

Also don't be afraid to run away if you get the chance.

And you think having some oversized croquet mallet is going to help you? Stick to that plan and shove it up his ass.

>>749627
Nice of him to make his weapon even worse-suited to dealing with small, fast enemies. Probably going for intimidation points.
but yeah get inside his reach, abuse knee if possible and try to knock him the hell out.

1/3 k0bold 2016/09/26(Mon)12:06 No. 749853 ID: e0f785
File 147491680446.png - (377.84KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-31.png )

He took the bait! I hope Angry is fast enough.

2/3 k0bold 2016/09/26(Mon)12:08 No. 749854 ID: e0f785
File 147491691141.png - (412.82KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-32.png )

I think he was able to dodge, it's getting a bit busy in here.

I don't like the way that birds looking at me.

3/3 k0bold 2016/09/26(Mon)12:13 No. 749855 ID: e0f785
File 147491721364.png - (392.22KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-33.png )

>Useless, ungrateful lizards.
Rude. I'm actually fairly surprised that so many are fighting back. Slaves are supposed to be trained to be complacent.

Some sort of knee and elbow combination seems popular.

Crunkle

>And you think having some oversized croquet mallet is going to help you?
I like hammers, probably in my top 3 weapons. And this one looks like it could even shrink to my size.

>>749855
oooh that looks satisfying, think you can snatch the hammer while he reels from that?

Grab hammer. Watch your back to make sure the bird doesn't get the drop on you.

>>749855
Grab hammer from broken arm, use it to break his skull.

k0bold 2016/09/27(Tue)19:02 No. 750142 ID: e0f785
File 147502815658.png - (382.30KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-34.png )

I've discovered an issue with grabbing the hammer.

He has longer arms than I do.

>>750142
You're in the perfect spot to strangle him! Wrap your legs or your arms around his neck and squeeze as hard as you can! He can't grab you with his broken arm, he can't effectively hit you with his hammer, and he can't drop it to grab you with his other arm because if he does, then someone else will grab it and hit him with it!

>>750142
punch him in his enormous eyes

Fuck it. Grab your shackle and strangle him with the chain.

>>750142
Well then break his other arm. He's already down one.

Or claw his eyes out or something.

Yup. Time to break another arm.

k0bold 2016/09/28(Wed)19:17 No. 750256 ID: e0f785
File 147511543419.png - (429.54KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-35.png )

I'm not sure how I would get enough force to break the other arm from up here.

I like the eye punching, but that won't put this guy down.

Strangling sounds nice, I hope his lungs aren't huge from all the auction screaming.

Here's a strange trick: vomit up his throat and THEN strangle hiM!

That honestly doesn't matter a whole lot. Kick his free arm with your foot to keep him from grabbing you.

His lungs aren't going to be huge from auction screaming, they're going to be huge because he's that much bigger than you.

Also, he's trying to grab you with his broken arm like a complete dumbass. Kick his arm in the spot you broke it to make him stop.

Oh right that's the broken arm. I can do one better than kicking it awkwardly. BITE THE BREAK POINT.

>>750256
Chew on him, claw him, kick him, scratch him. Basically make as much a mess of his flesh as you can.

While strangling, have a bite to eat.

k0bold 2016/09/30(Fri)17:16 No. 750466 ID: e0f785
File 147528097969.png - (488.18KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-36.png )

Well I went for the flailing floppy arm but his immense mass has foiled the strangle plan.

Well you could just keep going but instead evade his good arm and grab the hammer before he can recover it.

He dropped the hammer, kick it away and go for the eyes!

Yeah, people tend to fall over when they're struggling to breathe. The fact that he dropped the hammer to try and pull the chain away proves that you are strangling him. So don't you dare let up! Keep going until he goes limp and stops moving! Call out to the other prisoners to grab his hammer or tell them to start wailing on him while he's down or at least do something other than stand around and watch!

>>750466
wouldn't this be the ideal time for any remaining brobolds to rush in and swarm this dude?
if it's not ideal to hold position and you can get out, make for that hammer and we can put this thing to rest

Suggestion AverageWolf 2016/10/01(Sat)16:32 No. 750634 ID: 860921
File 147536475458.png - (488.18KB , 1024x1024 , 147528097969.png )

1. You can use the momentum to roll-kick him away(this will get him off of you)
2. You can force him to bite off his own tongue(without treatment he'll bleed to death)
3. You can tear out one/both of his eyes(being blind makes him less of a threat)

Take out one eye, hold something sharp to the other. Your freedom for his sight, let's see if he surrenders. If he does ANYTHING, blind him for good.

>>750634
The tongue.

k0bold 2016/10/03(Mon)14:03 No. 750939 ID: e0f785
File 147552858245.png - (561.18KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-37.png )

I couldn't continue the strangling since the fall forced my arm away and he's covering his neck with his big ol' ham.

I'm hearing a lot about eyes and getting away. Handy that pushing myself out with my legs puts them in prime eye scraping position.

Angry looks like they can't lift the hammer. Mmmm, I haven't felt the heft of a nice weapon in far too long.

You guys got yourselves in a strange position.
Say, even if your teeth aren't all that, if you were to bite his neck would he bleed? He is very exposed and this would be a quick finishing move.

>>750939
Jump over him since both his arms are busy and grab the hammer. +style points if you grab it mid-roll after the jump.

Then smash his head like a melon.

Stick your toes in his eyes!

And tell Angry to, "Forget the hammer and kick this guy in the balls or something! I don't know, just wail on him!"

>>750939
go for the eye and while he's reeling tag Angry out, nab the hammer and do what comes naturally

k0bold 2016/10/04(Tue)18:04 No. 751281 ID: e0f785
File 147562948164.png - (546.69KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-38.png )

Eyes and hammer, right.

If I bite him, then what? Leave my poor vulnerable face open to his hand?

"Hey Angry, leave the lifting to me!"

They look angry.

If you were to bite his throat your hands would be free to immobilize his good arm and possible his snout. But I trust your judgment, after all I never fought someone twice my size.
I'm sure the auctioneer and the clients will not continue to underestimate you with after removing his eye ball. You need to find something to finish him faster than what you have been doing, if there is nothing to cut use the crapy magical hammer.

>>751281
I can't tell what's happening in this image.

>>751289
He's kicking the guy in the eye.

>>751291
Okay but something's in the background too.

>>751294
That's the hammer.

1/4 k0bold 2016/10/06(Thu)16:48 No. 751676 ID: e0f785
File 147579770317.png - (294.90KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-39.png )

>If you were to bite his throat your hands would be free to immobilize his good arm and possible his snout. But I trust your judgment, after all I never fought someone twice my size.
I'm not sure I could overpower his one arm. Not sure what I would accomplish by snout immobilization.
And wow, you're pretty trusting of an ex-con kobold.

2/4 k0bold 2016/10/06(Thu)16:51 No. 751677 ID: e0f785
File 147579788968.png - (346.11KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-40.png )

>I'm sure the auctioneer and the clients will not continue to underestimate you with after removing his eye ball. You need to find something to finish him faster than what you have been doing, if there is nothing to cut use the crapy magical hammer.
Yeah, this guy overstayed his welcome.
I'm not a weapon appraiser, but hammer. The blunt power.

3/4 k0bold 2016/10/06(Thu)16:52 No. 751678 ID: e0f785
File 147579797537.png - (344.18KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-41.png )

Oh maybe I should figure out where to aim at.

4/4 k0bold 2016/10/06(Thu)16:53 No. 751679 ID: e0f785
File 147579800388.png - (179.47KB , 856x771 , kbu-42.png )

There's still a little time.

The head is the most obvious target, but I suggest his good arm. With two broken limbs he will be incapable of fighting or defending against your next strike.

>>751679
Secret Technique: Nutcracker Suite
really though the pelvis is chock full of vital squishy bits, good place to hit

>>751681
Let's go with this, but only if kobolds have external genitalia. If he's got a lizard-slit protecting his junk, break his knee.

>>751689
This.

>>751679
eh, go for pelvis.
basically anything in that area that goes snap or squish will cripple.
y'know, more than the pain already will.

1/3 k0bold 2016/10/09(Sun)14:32 No. 752033 ID: e0f785
File 147604873529.png - (394.20KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-43.png )

Overwhelming support for the pelvis? Can't say I blame you.

Ouch.

2/3 k0bold 2016/10/09(Sun)14:36 No. 752034 ID: e0f785
File 147604901460.png - (283.96KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-44.png )

"Let's see if you can take it, as well as you can dish it out"
I hope the onlookers appreciate the irony of the situation.

...Maybe I could use one liner help in the future.

Anyway, I think he's out of the picture. Doubt it killed him though.

3/3 k0bold 2016/10/09(Sun)14:45 No. 752035 ID: e0f785
File 147604955648.png - (423.73KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-45.png )

Angry doesn't seem happy that I took "his" hammer.

Apathetic seems amused? Maybe?

Hold up, is that bird really burning a disintegrate on me already?
Its been a long time since I've had to deal with magic.

>>752034
So, you think we could sell his ass into slavery now in exchange for your freedom?

>>752035
Well smack his hand to the side so he disintegrates someone or something that's not you! Preferably the guy you just knocked out.

Whack his hand.

If you can disrupt the spell before it goes off, do so. If not, dodge behind Angry so it hits him instead.

>>752035
well someone knows flashy magic.

any chance you can bap his hand into raying himself? it'd be perfect for a cheeky "it's rude to point" quip
otherwise fling hammer at birb and get into punching distance.

By disintegrate do you mean disintegrate equipment or everything? The difference should determine if you should hit him with claws or hammer.
I have to assume this creature is extremely confident on his magical abilities. You've been blunting a big lizard all this time and it seem unwise for someone with hollow bones to get so close. Even the shark would be less vulnerable to your fighting style than this bird.

1/3 k0bold 2016/10/12(Wed)14:46 No. 752730 ID: e0f785
File 147630880848.png - (420.69KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-46.png )

>hand whack
Seems like the best option, gotta get to it fast though. Feet are lighter than hammers.

>dodge behind Angry so it hits him instead.
I'd be more insulted by your disregard for kobold life if I had more time.

>well someone knows flashy magic.
>By disintegrate do you mean disintegrate equipment or everything
Everything. At least its one of the few spells I can recognize off-hand, you don't want soldiers getting close to those. Generally.

>assume this creature is extremely confident on his magical abilities
What wizards aren't? Sorcerers more so.

2/3 k0bold 2016/10/12(Wed)14:49 No. 752731 ID: e0f785
File 147630897998.png - (438.87KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-47.png )

While I did dodge the dust destiny, I didn't get a good hit off on the bird. Just ruffled his finger feather things a bit.

3/3 k0bold 2016/10/12(Wed)14:53 No. 752732 ID: e0f785
File 147630918137.png - (567.19KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-48.png )

It's raining.

Now that the bird doesn't have me by surprise there's a bit more time for action, but I'm not sure if I can recognize many more spells.

>>752732
casters tend not to work too well in a grapple, get in his face and see if you can't disintegrate his beak the old-fashioned way.

>>752732
Let's go with operation "hit him in the head till he can't cast". And/or operation "break his damn fingers".

So let's break this glass cannon before he can fire. Since you are already close just swing that hammer in his general direction.

>>752732
Slam the hammer into his hands. Break them and he can't cast, right?

k0bold 2016/10/15(Sat)06:53 No. 753095 ID: e0f785
File 147653960840.png - (493.47KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-49.png )

I'm not sure how breaking feathers works, I haven't fought birds very much.

Most things have easy to understand heads though, I can get behind that.

This guy is pretty quick on the magic barrier draw! This magic hammer seems to have cracked it up pretty good at least.

I think another hit will shatter it. Or I could take advantage of him needing to keep his arms up to maintain the wall.

Keeping him on the defensive stops him from hurting you, but you'll need something more to actually get out of there.

He could probably just take down the barrier at a moments notice. That hammer looks pretty flexible though, maybe try psyching them out and break their back with a heavy blow.

The barrier only shows up where his arms are, right? That leaves his legs and backside wide open for attack!

The moment you stop hitting him he will drop this barrier and do something else. I say you should keep trying to hammer his face and move around to force the bird to leave his back expose to Angry. Hopefully Angry will take advantage of the opportunity, and maybe the mage won't react quick enough to save his beak when the barrier break.

1/2 k0bold 2016/10/20(Thu)17:13 No. 754109 ID: e0f785
File 147700882393.png - (403.59KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-50.png )

>Keeping him on the defensive stops him from hurting you, but you'll need something more to actually get out of there.
I'm sure he's just a weakling hiding behind magic.

>He could probably just take down the barrier at a moments notice. That hammer looks pretty flexible though, maybe try psyching them out and break their back with a heavy blow.
It's actually very heavy, it just seems bendy because of how fast I'm swinging.

>The barrier only shows up where his arms are, right? That leaves his legs and backside wide open for attack!
>I say you should keep trying to hammer his face and move around to force the bird to leave his back expose to Angry. Hopefully Angry will take advantage of the opportunity, and maybe the mage won't react quick enough to save his beak when the barrier break.
When in doubt try both.

2/2 k0bold 2016/10/20(Thu)17:15 No. 754112 ID: e0f785
File 147700890560.png - (433.07KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-51.png )

Well, the barrier is broken and he's tripped.
Right on top of me unfortunately.

Grab his wings, break his fingers, pull his feathers, anything to prevent more spells.

>>754112
roll between his legs?

>>754112
Kick your feet up into him and roll so that you'll end up kicking him over your head and he won't land on you. This should work because the momentum of his falling body adds power to the throw and requires comparatively little strength from you! See link to better understand what I'm talking about: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomoe_nage

k0bold 2016/10/23(Sun)21:08 No. 754990 ID: e0f785
File 147728211247.png - (413.80KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-53.png )

>Grab his wings, break his fingers, pull his feathers, anything to prevent more spells.
Damage, right. I doubt he'll be able to pronounce spells correctly anymore. Or aim without those wing finger things.

>roll between his legs?
I need confidence here, not some maybe action. What do I look like, someone to carefully approach problems with more questions?

>Kick your feet up into him and roll so that you'll end up kicking him over your head and he won't land on you. This should work because the momentum of his falling body adds power to the throw and requires comparatively little strength from you!
Neat.

That maneuver was a astonish success. Now grab the hammer, go for the fishing move and be ready for the next opponent.

>>754990
Now finish him with the hammer!

>>754990
>I need confidence here, not some maybe action.
Go team kobold!
but yeah, kick this bird into dreamland

k0bold 2016/10/28(Fri)19:01 No. 755899 ID: e0f785
File 147770647502.png - (427.38KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-54.png )

>That maneuver was an astonishing success.
The bird was much lighter than I expected which probably helped. It was mostly my rusty fighting skill though.

>Now grab the hammer, go for the fishing move and be ready for the next opponent.
>Now finish him with the hammer!
>Go team kobold!
I think I'm losing confidence in my fellow kobolds. Angry wants the hammer. Might have to put the bird smashing plans on hold for a bit.

Should I try to reason with Angry or let them get the boot? What would I say?
Look, I know I said before how I wouldn't every seriously injure another bold but I mean it's just an armored boot? It'd probably dislodge them from the hammer...

Is that guy behind Angry the knight? You won't be able to face him without a weapon and we know Angry can't swing that thing.
If possible, try to convince Angry to finish the bird while you fight sir canned. Promises to find a less cumbersome weapon for him after that.

>>755899
Since he's pulling on it, shove the hammer straight up and over Angry's head so that he ends up pulling it the rest of the way over his head and it hits the guy right behind him.

Then start wailing on the bird guy before he tries to do anything.

>>755899
struggling with Angry is a waste of time and a dangerous distraction. He may be better with a weapon than unarmed, which would explain why he's pulling this bullshit in the middle of a fight.

Let go of the hammer at just the right time for Angry to "accidentally" swing it into his adversary. Then double-team the motherfucker.

k0bold 2016/11/03(Thu)18:31 No. 756882 ID: e0f785
File 147822309821.png - (654.73KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-55.png )

>Is that guy behind Angry the knight?
I don't remember seeing any other heavily armored things around.

>You won't be able to face him without a weapon and we know Angry can't swing that thing.
I mean weapons help sure. And I think he might be more comfortable with a small dagger.

>If possible, try to convince Angry to finish the bird while you fight sir canned.
I'm not sure he even noticed the bird, he seemed pretty focused on the magic hammer.

>Promises to find a less cumbersome weapon for him after that.
"Hey, I'll scrounge up some weapon you can actually handle, just give me a minute and the hammer."

>Since he's pulling on it, shove the hammer straight up and over Angry's head so that he ends up pulling it the rest of the way over his head and it hits the guy right behind him.
>Let go of the hammer at just the right time for Angry to "accidentally" swing it into his adversary.
The loud ringing clang seems to signal some success.

>struggling with Angry is a waste of time and a dangerous distraction. He may be better with a weapon than unarmed, which would explain why he's pulling this bullshit in the middle of a fight.
Patience with kobolds is a required skill.

>Then start wailing on the bird guy before he tries to do anything.
>Then double-team the motherfucker.
So bird beatdown while this armor guy is hopefully still ringing?

Angry just says "But this is a magic hammer! Don't let go so fast! What're you tryin' to hurt me or something?"

What if we make a deal? If Angry kill the mage we will give him the hammer.

Now focusing on the metal man. I assume his helmet is sturdy enough to remain functional after that hit, but every part of his armor that doesn't have a large plate will offer no protection against your hammer beside the padding beneath. So a good strike at his upper arms should incapacitate his limb. Let's see how precise you can be.
Just for curiosity: Is he using chain or scale armor?

>What're you tryin' to hurt me or something?
Nah, I was trying to hurt the other guy there.

k0bold 2016/11/26(Sat)17:18 No. 761697 ID: e0f785
File 148020953046.png - (588.50KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-56.png )

The knight bellows "Ha, I laugh at your weak attack. It's not even the correct end. Let's see how you fight without your puny friend or stolen hammer."

>>I assume his helmet is sturdy enough to remain functional after that hit
Yeah, it looks a bit dented up at least.

>>...every part of his armor that doesn't have a large plate will offer no protection against your hammer beside the padding beneath. So a good strike at his upper arms should incapacitate his limb. Let's see how precise you can be.
He seems to be quite smartly keeping the hammer away from me, now that Angry has it held onto tightly. And he's holding Angry.

>>Is he using chain or scale armor?
Chain. The gloves are sort of scale-looking though.

"Nah, I was trying to hurt the man who's holding you by your snout. What if we make a deal? If you kill the mage, you can have the hammer." I say to Angry. Of course there is a hand in his mouth and he already has the hammer, he'll probably like the part about killing the mage though.

So what's the plan? Run straight at him? I do still have those cuffs to punch a bit harder with. Try to wrestle the hammer away from right under the knight? Go kick the bird? See if I can grab that chunk of wood I had earlier? Take a quick look around the room to see if there are better choices?

I would hate to give the mage a chance to strike while you are distracted with the knight, but if you leave Angry he will probable die.
For now you can focus on punching the least padded part of his armor, but Angry need to understand that you can't punch metal for long. The best target will be his neck, but it's also the easier area to defend. You can also kick his shin. Alternatively you can try to steal his weapon, if he is caring any.

k0bold 2016/12/04(Sun)00:01 No. 763437 ID: e0f785
File 148083846568.png - (1.31MB , 1024x2048 , kbu-57.png )

>I would hate to give the mage a chance to strike while you are distracted with the knight, but if you leave Angry he will probable die.
The mage should be pretty out of it, how would he aim without pointer finger/feathers?
The knight doesn't seem to be treating Angry as anything more than an annoyance, I don't think their life is in immediate danger.

>Angry need to understand that you can't punch metal for long
I have no idea what their mental capacity is at this point.

>The best target will be his neck, but it's also the easier area to defend.
Yup, defended.

>You can also kick his shin.
I don't think that's doing much.

>Alternatively you can try to steal his weapon, if he is caring any.
At least he appears to be unarmed. I can see both hands!

He is decided to not release Angry. Use that to your advantage: your claws may be dull but his eyes are soft. While he is busy defending his throat pierce his eyes with your free hand.

>>763437
his defences might be better but you have more limbs than he does, and more of them available to boot.
Overwhelm him with attacks to his eyes and neck.

Get that helmet off him so you can go to town on those soft easily breakable face bits

Spit in his eye(s), and then knock his legs out from underneath him.

k0bold 2016/12/24(Sat)11:38 No. 767968 ID: 81395e
File 148260827924.png - (482.11KB , 1024x1024 , kbu-58.png )

> He is decided to not release Angry. Use that to your advantage: your claws may be dull but his eyes are soft. While he is busy defending his throat pierce his eyes with your free hand.
>his defences might be better but you have more limbs than he does, and more of them available to boot.
>Overwhelm him with attacks to his eyes and neck.
>Get that helmet off him so you can go to town on those soft easily breakable face bits
He does seem to have put himself at an odd disadvantage. Might as well make use of it.
I didn't really pierce his eye, more of a scrape since I'm going for the helmet removal. Why do you want to see a gross monkey face beyond punching it is beyond me.

>Spit in his eye(s), and then knock his legs out from underneath him.
We don't have the small soft supple lips of some races, accurate spitting is hard. Knocking over large, heavily weighted down armor men is harder.

>>767968
Once you've relieved that buffoon of their helmet, use it as an improvised club to crush their face into a bloody pulp

Great. Now: claw, face, go!