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Fire Cream
317977
>didn't we hate Lin
Lin's... my relationship with her is complicated but I want to at the very least have a very long conversation with her about my dissatisfaction with how she's been doing things lately.
I don't really want her dead, as fucked up as it, is she is the closest thing to family I have.
She was always very cold, distant and impassive but it was the little things that broke through that facade. That's kind of what it felt like. A facade. There was genuine care underneath that frosty unimpressed expression. Which... I'm having a hard time reconciling with what I've just learned.
I'm pretty sure there's been a misunderstanding somewhere. We just need to find out what it was and who's really at fault here.
>odds are she's dead anyway
Until I see a body for either of them, Lin and Larity are just holed up somewhere. Don't take away my few remaining hopes.
I don't even really know why I care so much about Larity, I feel like that's more obligation than anything else. Yeah, she was cute, but we only just met.
Besides I have tons of other friends to worry about! ...Tons!
Okay so I might not have had many actual friends. ...So I might have had too much to drink one night and managed to get myself barred from the only bar this station has.
Let's not get into that right now.
>let her decide
"Well, when you're ready, just let us know and that's your new name, okay?"
She nods, still in tears.
"Also, Mire." I turn towards her. "I'm sorry to hear your life wasn't great either."
"Stow it, jannie," she mutters. "Big surprise, big megacorp runs research station on the frontier of feckin' nowhere and has morals looser than a gardener on hornythorn."
"A what on what--"
"Weren't you talkin' to little miss tentacles about somethin'?"
"I didn't want to be this freak," says our nameless acquaintance, sobbing a little harder. "I ended up being violated anyway! It crawled into my tube and I watched it, pierced through with every pipe and wire going, couldn't move, couldn't scream, couldn't even look away, as it worked its way into one of the IV tubes and... and then the voices, and then they panicked, and then I was so distraught and furious I just... I don't remember what I did, but I was free, and now the voices sometimes try to tell me what to do and most of them are really dumb ideas I ignore, and others are sympathetic, but I don't... I don't know if I'm even me anymore!"
Wow, I can't imagine what it would be like to be controlled by a bunch of voices that have a diverse spread of good ideas, bad ideas and crosstalk regarding my situation. That sounds like it'd be terrible. Good thing I'm just flying by with my wits alone and all these oddly intrusive ideas that are completely mine!
"Well, it looked like it saved your life," I offer.
"I guess," she whimpers. "I guess. What does my life matter, though?"
"You could do anything, be anything. Revenge isn't worth dedicating your life to. Really, the best revenge is a life well lived. Also I mean I'm kind of a little, uh, well, I dunno... I wouldn't mind having that sort of shapeshifty power thing, but... Sorry. Sorry, getting off track. Point is, your life matters. All our lives matter. Yes, you killed some people, but if you're this torn up about it, then you kind of at least owe it to them to keep on going, yeah?"
She sobs a little more strongly, but pulls herself together faster. I can almost taste the catharsis. She nods more vigorously.
"We really should stick as a group, though. We need to get off this station. Something I think we all want right now. And if we run into survivors, it'll look less odd to others if you show up as part of a group than as a single survivor without a scratch. And also, uh, you can help us out if we run into, uh, trouble."
"I don't want to keep hurting people. I've done enough of it. I'm done. I'm done with it, Soto."
"That's fine. That's fine too. Either way if we split up we're going to be putting ourselves into greater danger than if we team up. Alright?"
I stand up and lean against the wall, breathing a sigh of relief. She stands slowly too, still shaking, wiping tears from her face. Mire says nothing, but looks at the vent, lost in thought.
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