Buckwheat 2016/08/04(Thu)21:32 No. 740509 ID: 15a025
File 147037156882.png - (10.14KB , 800x600 , 1.png )

Oh is it morning already? Looks like another beautiful day to go and have some fun and cause some trouble! But what do I feel like doing today?

Go eat a bagel.

Take the "do not remove" label off your bed.

Learn to use stilts. Eat a bagel on stilts.

Make sure you have cream cheese on the bagel, and while you're eating it on stilts, check out your high up window and see if there is anything interesting outside today.

I think it's time to iron your lamp. It's getting too wrinkly.

Make something from various items in your fridge. Be creative.

1/6 Buckwheat 2016/08/04(Thu)22:17 No. 740519 ID: 15a025
File 147037427162.png - (10.54KB , 800x600 , 2_1.png )

>I think it's time to iron your lamp. It's getting too wrinkly.

Whoa! There's cute lil voices in my head now! The lamp isn't wrinkly, it's just really bent out of shape after the light bulb died.

> Take the "do not remove" label off your bed.

That's my couch, but there is one of those labels on it anyway. Who needs warranties these days anyway? Rest in pieces little label.

2/6 Buckwheat 2016/08/04(Thu)22:18 No. 740520 ID: 15a025
File 147037430503.png - (7.32KB , 800x600 , 2_0.png )

> Go eat a bagel.
> Learn to use stilts. Eat a bagel on stilts.
> Make sure you have cream cheese on the bagel, and while you're eating it on stilts.

I knew one of these days I'd find I use for those stilts! Let me just run and grab a bagel, butter it, and get on the stilts!

3/6 Buckwheat 2016/08/04(Thu)22:18 No. 740521 ID: 15a025
File 147037433348.png - (10.83KB , 800x600 , 2.png )

Aaaaand I'm back! This is a little hard to stay balanced thou

Buckwheat 2016/08/04(Thu)22:19 No. 740523 ID: 15a025
File 147037436145.png - (9.38KB , 800x600 , 4.png )

STUPID STILTS!!!

6/6 Buckwheat 2016/08/04(Thu)22:19 No. 740524 ID: 15a025
File 147037438271.png - (9.22KB , 800x600 , 5.png )

Well, now that that's out of the way what should we do?

That fall must have done some damage, you better get a super mushroom from your fridge. While you're at it get the bagel.

The stilts have betrayed you and caused you bodily harm. Burn them in your backyard. Toast marshmallows if available.

Also toast the bagel in said stilt fire.

Herb garden. Make some sauce for your ravioli.

Buckwheat 2016/08/04(Thu)23:08 No. 740532 ID: 15a025
File 147037730303.png - (13.09KB , 800x600 , 6.png )

>That fall must have done some damage, you better get a super mushroom from your fridge. While you're at it get the bagel.

Oh no, I've done shrooms before, too trippy for me. I'd get the bagel, but I ate it before I fell.

>The stilts have betrayed you and caused you bodily harm. Burn them in your backyard. Toast marshmallows if available.

Yes! These stilts must pay! Burning in the holy flames out back sounds like a great idea. Sadly, I don't have any marshmallows. Foods running low.
I head outside and- oh my gosh it's my boy friend Keith! What's he doing over here!

He doesn't look very interested to see you. He's probably here to just mooch food off you again. Tell him you already ate the last bagel.
But there is something else he can eat.

Ask if he would like to join you in the ritual sacrifice of your stilts. If not, proceed with >>>740533

Warn him about the many dangers of smoking, loitering, and being a bump on a log.

I'll tell you what he's NOT doing: GETTING A JOB.

who does he think he's fooling with that ear notch and his cigarette and his single earring that makes him look like either cold-war-era gay or a sailor or both.

YOU DON'T COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND SIT ON MY LOG AND THEN DIRECT AN EXPRESSION OF POSEUR CYNICISM LIKE THAT TOWARDS ME MISTER, WHAT DO YOU THINK GIVES YOU THE RIGHT

MAYBE GET YOUR OWN HOUSE AND THEN WHEN I COME OVER YOU CAN ACT LIKE YOU'RE UNDER SOME TERRIBLE BURDEN

He's clearly smoking weed while plotting to steel your only jar of RARE LIMITED EDITION 1/200 WACKY DELI BRAND MAYONNAISE.

You should take a hit so you can read his thoughts.

Buckwheat 2016/08/05(Fri)12:21 No. 740558 ID: 15a025
File 147042487852.png - (11.09KB , 800x600 , 7.png )

>He doesn't look very interested to see you. He's probably here to just mooch food off you again. Tell him you already ate the last bagel.

"Keith if you're here for breakfast I already ate the last bagel!"
"Cheese Louise, why do you always assume I'm here to-"

>Ask if he would like to join you in the ritual sacrifice of your stilts

"Anyway, up for joining me in a ritual sacrifice of these lousy stilts this morning?"
"Sounds like something to save for tonight."

>I'll tell you what he's NOT doing: GETTING A JOB.

"So what's up Keith? Sitting around being a jobless bum again today?"
"Trying plan out tonight's little house call. Could use your help."
"Oh man who we messing up tonight?"
"Those rat bastards fucked up Jimmy last night with some weird drugs. All he's doing is staring at a wall all blank eyed like a moron. "
"Oh no not Jimmy! We gotta do something!"
"Me and Drew are planning on heading over to their terf and giving them a little payback. Wanna come help out and raise some hell?"

That's what the ritual sacrifice of the stilts are for! We're going to literally raise some hell by sacrificing these stilts in a ritual!

You don't feel like messing with people with weird drugs, you'd much rather burn the stilts into ash, and make Jimmy smoke them. That's sure to cure him.

>>740558
Depends on how much shit is gonna get lit on fire.

Time for some good old fashioned GANG VIOLENCE.

Buckwheat 2016/08/08(Mon)18:06 No. 741165 ID: 15a025
File 147070479316.png - (7.95KB , 800x600 , 8.png )

>Depends on how much shit is gonna get lit on fire.

"Well that depends now, how much shit we lighting on fire?"
"I'm already liking the way you're thinking Louise. We could totally burn some shit down."

>Time for some good old fashioned GANG VIOLENCE.

"Alright then, it sounds like it's time for some good old gang violence."
"Alright, we'll be here to pick you up at nine tonight."
Keith leaves with my sitting log in toll. So, right now it's 11:30 Am, what should we do while we wait for the action tonight?

Got any other friends to hang out with?

>>741165
set up the stilt-burning ritual so you don't need to worry about it later, maybe hit the shops for food and general incendiary supplies since tonight is apparently guest-starring our warm flickering friend so much

Get a lighter, some flammable liquid, your piece, and a switchblade just in case. Oh ,and a granola bar in case you get hungry.

Lets go buy chocolate bars, graham crackers, and marshmallows so we can make shmores after you burn things.

1/2 Buckwheat 2016/08/09(Tue)22:36 No. 741285 ID: 15a025
File 147080738350.png - (20.89KB , 800x600 , 9.png )

>Got any other friends to hang out with?

I've got tons of friends, though I doubt anyone is up this early in the day.

>set up the stilt-burning ritual so you don't need to worry about it later.

Not much to really set up for the ritual. All we need to do is say the speech, light the stupid stilts on fire and boom! Ritual.

>hit the shops for food and general incendiary supplies since tonight is apparently guest-starring our warm flickering friend so much

>Get a lighter, some flammable liquid, your piece, and a switchblade just in case. Oh ,and a granola bar in case you get hungry.

>Lets go buy chocolate bars, graham crackers, and marshmallows so we can make shmores after you burn things.

Time to go sho-oh wait I'm poor. I've only got $5 on me. Ah let's see what I already have out of this stuff so I don't waste money on junk I've already got.

1 switch blade (What gang member doesn't have one, like seriously?)
1 oz of gas for the lawnmower (That's flammable right?)
Keith's cigarette lighter.
1 half eaten candy bar I found in my purse.

Eh... I'm sure the dollar store will have all the rest of what I need.

2/2 Buckwheat 2016/08/09(Tue)22:36 No. 741286 ID: 15a025
File 147080741188.png - (21.93KB , 800x600 , 10.png )

I pull into the parking lot and aaaah shit. Today's a Friday. Dollar stores are a nightmare on Fridays. Everyone's always fighting over these stupid solar powered dancing things.

I rush in and head down to the food aisle and pick out look at the selection of snacks they have, looks kind of empty. What should I grab?

MYSTERY BOX GO! Also get some gut.
Why the hell don't you own a gun? Whatever, you can probably steal one from the guys you're fucking up.

Who's that to your right?

FUCK U'S

Buckwheat 2016/08/23(Tue)18:07 No. 744110 ID: 15a025
File 147200082388.png - (10.75KB , 800x600 , 11.png )

>MYSTERY BOX GO! Also get some gut.
>FUCK U'S

Sounds like a plan then! I go pick up the mystery box, some gut, and a box of Fuck U's.

>Why the hell don't you own a gun? Whatever, you can probably steal one from the guys you're fucking up.

I’m a horrible shot that’s why.

>Who's that to your right?

“Oh, hello! I’m not in your way am I?”
”Drop that shit and stick em up bitch.”
Oh shit it’s the rats! AH WHAT DO I DO

>>744110
Tell him he can't rob you here, this is a store. There's security cameras, he'll get caught.

>>744112
Nah, it's probably just got one of those big curved mirror things, this place is a dump.

USE THE MYSTERY BOX!
Or, y'know, drop the stuff. Horizontally. On to his face. Then beat his ass.

>I’m a horrible shot that’s why.
Then I guess we're bringing a knife to a gun fight.

...or maybe we find a flamethrower. Who cares about accuracy when everything is one fire!

>Oh shit it’s the rats! AH WHAT DO I DO
Distract him with shameless flirting.

Flash him
Use the power of all ten of them

1/2 Buckwheat 2016/09/03(Sat)22:34 No. 745973 ID: 15a025
File 147296725715.png - (24.11KB , 800x600 , 12.png )

>Tell him he can't rob you here, this is a store. There's security cameras, he'll get caught.

"What are you stupid or something? You can't rob me here, there's security cameras in here!"
"Ha nice try, we already shot those out months ago."

>Distract him with shameless flirting.

What no I can't do that! What would Keith think of me if did that?

>Drop the stuff.
>Horizontally.
>On to his face.
>Then beat his ass.

I fling a box of FUCK U'S at the rat but he just carelessly shoots it away with his gun.
"Nice try. I'm getting sick of your futile attempts at escaping now. You're coming with us."
Shit he grabs my arm and starts dragging me away!

>Then I guess we're bringing a knife to a gun fight.

Oh right duh. I whip out my knife stab this loser and start making a run for it!
"After her!"

2/2 Buckwheat 2016/09/03(Sat)22:34 No. 745974 ID: 15a025
File 147296729754.png - (16.67KB , 800x600 , 13.png )

I drop all the snacks and shit run outside to see...my precious motorcycle is on fire!!!
"Who in the hell did this to my precious baby!"
"Bitch we taking over this little section of town. You on our turf now."

A few more rats come out of a totally not suspicious van. They're also armed with guns... fuck. I wouldn't suppose you crazy voices have any ideas on how I could get out of this mess would you?

throw gas can in fire when the 3 rats up there get closer.

Drive the motorcycle into them, try to get off of it before you get hurt.

Unless you're real good at dodging bullets I'd suggest dropping the knife and putting your hands up.

>What no I can't do that! What would Keith think of me if did that?
That you used your dangerously sexy body to inflict harm on an enemy?

>I wouldn't suppose you crazy voices have any ideas on how I could get out of this mess would you?
You're surrounded and have no cover. And you didn't kill or disable the guy you stabbed before either.

Surrender is unfortunately starting to look pretty reasonable.

If you insist on making a stand, I suggest taking the gun-rat behind you hostage and using him as a rodent shield.

Buckwheat 2016/09/17(Sat)20:32 No. 748375 ID: 15a025
File 147416953062.png - (15.60KB , 800x600 , 14.png )

>throw gas can in fire when the 3 rats up there get closer.

I left the gas can back at home.

>You're surrounded and have no cover. And you didn't kill or disable the guy you stabbed before either.
>Surrender is unfortunately starting to look pretty reasonable.
>Unless you're real good at dodging bullets I'd suggest dropping the knife and putting your hands up.

Yeah...not really liking my odds here. Becoming Swiss Cheese Louise isn't something I really feel like becoming today. I try to hide the knife in my back pocket and then stick my arms up to surrender to these punks.

"That's what I thought bitch. Louey go get the rope and throw her in the van with the others."

One of the filthy rats ties my hands behind my back and blind folds me. After that they barbarically toss me into their van and off we go. So uh...this really threw a wrench in my plans. Now what?

>>748375
Start chewing and wiggling. Time to get free.

Maybe make your way to the other sap in here. It might be easier to work on each others bonds than your own.

There's somebody with you. Collaborate to get free.

>>748375
Strongly consider embracing nyarlhotep as your lord and saviour

YOU CAN BREAK THESE CUFFS

HHHHRRRRNNNNNNGHHHHHH

>>748375
they didn't take the knife did they?

1/2 Buckwheat 2016/09/18(Sun)17:08 No. 748487 ID: 15a025
File 147424373805.png - (11.62KB , 800x600 , 15.png )

>YOU CAN BREAK THESE CUFFS

I try to break free from the cuffs, but I am too weak to do so.

>There's somebody with you. Collaborate to get free.
>Maybe make your way to the other sap in here. It might be easier to work on each other's bonds than your own.

"Hey someone else in here?"
"Shhh!" They'll hear you!"
"Sorry! Can you come over here and help me get out of these ropes?"
"I'd like to, but I myself am also tied up. Can't really use my hands well with them being all tied up."
"Then use your teeth to bite off the ropes, or come over here and I'll try and bite yours off first?"
"Gross, rope tastes awful. I'll pass on your offer to bite my ropes off as well, for all I know you could be a cat or something that wants to eat me up."
"I'm pretty sure a cat wouldn't fit in this van."

>they didn't take the knife did they?

Nope I can still feel it in my pocket. They stole my purse though, assholes.
"Anyway, I've got a knife in pocket. Think you can pull it out for me? We could use that break free as well."
"That sounds risky. What if I cut myself trying to pull it out? No thanks."
Yeesh, tough one to please here.

>Start chewing and wiggling. Time to get free.

Well at least I can probably chew the rope off my legs. I start chewing away at them while I try to wiggle off the binding on my arms.

2/2 Buckwheat 2016/09/18(Sun)17:09 No. 748489 ID: 15a025
File 147424377328.png - (11.43KB , 800x600 , 16.png )

It takes a few minutes, but I'm able to free my legs. Arms are still tied up pretty- owch! I fall over as the van hits a bump. Something also sounds like it just busted? Any ideas on what, crazy voices in my head who can somehow see while I'm blind folded?

>>748489
The lightbulb shattered. Don't walk anywhere if you're barefoot. You could try using one of the glass shards to cut the ropes on your hands though.

>or all I know you could be a cat or something that wants to eat me up
My mouth isn't covered. If I was a cat who wanted to eat you, there's nothing stopping me from wiggling over there and doing it anyways.

>what can you see
The lightbulb fell from the ceiling and broke on the floor between you and the other dweeb. Don't ask me why there was a lightbulb hanging in the back of a van.

the lightbulb broke. Try to lightly step over to the other mouse in the car, being careful to avoid the glass, then use your mouth to take off the other mouse's blindfold. Once they trust you, bite off their ropes and then ask them to use their freed hands to grab your knife and cut her and yourself free.

>>748489
don't think too hard about how we work, we certainly don't

Buckwheat 2016/09/21(Wed)10:10 No. 748893 ID: 15a025
File 147447782795.png - (11.42KB , 800x600 , 17.png )

>don't think too hard about how we work, we certainly don't

Haha nice one!

>The lightbulb shattered. Don't walk anywhere if you're barefoot. You could try using one of the glass shards to cut the ropes on your hands though.

Thanks for letting me know about the broken bulb, wouldn't want to hurt my little tootsies. Wait, why was-

>Don't ask me why there was a lightbulb hanging in the back of a van.

Okay never mind then! I'll just carefully turn around and bend over to pick a piece up. Hurt my hand a little bit in the process but I'm able to cut free from the ropes! After that I rip off the blind fold and...it's pitch black in here! Guess that was what the light bulb was for?

"Hey, that crash was a light bulb or something. I managed to get free using one of the shards to cut the ropes but it's all dark and stuff now."
"That's fine. I'm kind of use to getting around in the dark anyway."

This is going to be a little tough. I'd like to go and help this other person out and free them, but I can't see in the dark all that well and don't feel like having my little feet get sliced up on a broken light bulb trying to move around. Got any ideas or see anything else in here?

Is the door locked? It might be a bit dangerous to open it while the van is moving, but it can give you light. Try opening it carefully.

Leap as hard as you can directly backwards.

There's some kind of box like inches from your face right now

Grab that box in front of you, then push it through the glass to make a pathway.

>>748903
Yeah!

(1/2) Buckwheat 2016/09/21(Wed)17:59 No. 748958 ID: 15a025
File 147450599350.png - (11.57KB , 800x600 , 18.png )

>There's some kind of box like inches from your face right now

>Grab that box in front of you, then push it through the glass to make a pathway.

Oh so that's what this thing is? Alright let's try moving it then. Ugh this thing is pretty heavy!

"What's that noise?"
"Moving this box to clear a path over to you. I'm going to help get you out of here."

(2/2) Buckwheat 2016/09/21(Wed)18:01 No. 748959 ID: 15a025
File 147450607060.png - (9.95KB , 800x600 , 19.png )

After accidently bumping the box into the person in here I pull out my knife and free their arms and take off their blind fold.
"Thanks. So uh...now what? "

>Is the door locked? It might be a bit dangerous to open it while the van is moving, but it can give you light. Try opening it carefully.

I carefully maneuver myself to the back of the van and try to open up the doors, feels like they're locked. Also feels like we're coming onto some pretty bumpy roads now as well, van's starting to jitter a lot. Anything else I should do, or should I just wait with our mystery friend for the van to stop?

Find out what's in the boxes.

>>748959
You want to arm yourselves and be ready to ambush your captors when they unlock that door to retrieve you.

Better would be if we could get the door open and just jump out the next time they come to a stoplight, but I'm not sure you have the tools to pick or force that lock from the inside. Improvised glass shivs, those you have.

Buckwheat 2016/10/09(Sun)18:07 No. 752073 ID: 15a025
File 147606167482.png - (10.20KB , 800x600 , 20.png )

>You want to arm yourselves and be ready to ambush your captors when they unlock that door to retrieve you.

Well I've got my knife still so that's something. Mystery friend over there probably isn't well armed though.

>Find out what's in the boxes.

Hopefully something more dangerous than my knife. Let me just pop the lid off and oh what the fuck! There's packing peanuts everywhere in this thing! All that was inside where a couple of these weird bricks or whatever.

>Improvised glass shivs, those you have.

"Hey mystery friend! You should probably arm yourself with one of those pieces of broken glass. Maybe grab one of these bricks to throw as well?"
"Oh...okay."

Suddenly the vehicle halts and hear some gun shots go off. A small click sound comes from somewhere as well.

Is the door open? Bust out of there.

>>752073
Oooooooh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shiiiiiit! Those bricks might actually be C4, which is highly explosive! And there's gunfire outside! Hopefully you can get out before a random bullet comes in here and hits the C4, causing a big explosion with you right next to it!

>>752083
c4 requires both compression heat and pressure to detonate, probably just bricks of cocaine, slice one open, and eat it. gain super strength, rip doors off with your bare whiskers

>weird bricks
Cocaine, maybe?

>what do
See if the door is open now, but don't throw it open, since then you're standing in an open doorway in a gun fight.

If it's open, we wait for the right moment to make an escape. If it's closed, you hope no one shoots through the walls and wait in ambush position by the doors.

>>752083
C4 is remarkably stable without a detonator. Even if that is what we've found, and even if it does take a bullet, there's very little chance it's going to go off.

...if bullets start passing through the walls of the truck, a much bigger concern is going to be if one hits us.

Buckwheat 2016/10/14(Fri)21:26 No. 753071 ID: 15a025
File 147650560773.png - (9.48KB , 800x600 , 21.png )

>Those bricks might actually be C4, which is highly explosive! And there's gunfire outside! Hopefully you can get out before a random bullet comes in here and hits the C4, causing a big explosion with you right next to it!

Thank you random paranoia! Now I want to get out of here just a little bit more.

>See if the door is open now, but don't throw it open, since then you're standing in an open doorway in a gun fight.

I move closer to the door and try turning the handle. The door budges open just a tiny bit and I peep through the crack. All I see is just road. Should I take a step outside or continue peeping the door open a bit?

Go out.

>>753071
Can you tell which direction the sound of the gunshots are coming from? If there's a shooter looking right at this door, opening it now might not be smart.

Buckwheat 2016/10/22(Sat)21:00 No. 754824 ID: 15a025
File 147719524902.png - (7.38KB , 800x600 , 22.png )

>Go out.

I open up the door all the way and take a step outside, I don't see anything out here.

sage Buckwheat 2016/10/22(Sat)21:01 No. 754825 ID: 15a025
File 147719527483.png - (14.01KB , 800x600 , 23.png )

>Can you tell which direction the sound of the gunshots are coming from?

It sounds like the gun shots are coming from in front of the truck. Let me take a quick peak around the corner of the truck and...

Buckwheat 2016/10/22(Sat)21:01 No. 754826 ID: 15a025
File 147719529265.png - (10.75KB , 800x600 , 24.png )

Holy fuck these guys are nuts if they think they're killing that thing. You'd have to be suicidal to take on a fucking mob cat. I don't know why, but I feel like I can handle this situation and get out of here somehow. Any wild and crazy ideas?

Steal the truck and drive away from the mob cat!

>>754829
Do this and also tell your new friend to come sit up in the front of the truck with you cause you're stealing it to make a getaway!

Actually, you might need your new friend to drive the truck for you cause I don't think you can reschedule the pedals!

Steal Truck and Runover the Cat!

Light up the c4 and chuck it at the mob cat.

Buckwheat 2016/11/27(Sun)17:13 No. 761968 ID: 15a025
File 148029559593.png - (8.34KB , 800x600 , 25.png )

>Steal the truck and drive away from the mob cat!
>also tell your new friend to come sit up in the front of the truck with you cause you're stealing it to make a getaway!
"Yo! Get out and help me out over here!"
"What are you doing you need my help with?"
"Making our get away. Follow me to the front!"
We manage to perfectly sneak into the front of the van except shoot, I can't reach the pedals.

>you might need your new friend to drive the truck for you cause I don't think you can reschedule the pedals!
"Alright new friend get on the floor over here, you're on pedal duty!"
"O...okay."
"Vroom vroom mother fuckers we are out of here!"
We blast this truck outta this mess and start roaring down the high way at full speed. Looking at the clock on the radio...Cheese Louise! It's already three in the afternoon! Where did the time go?
"I found someone's wallet down he-."
"Hah! Ours now! How much money is in there?"
"Too much, at least a thousand dollars."

Well this day got a little better. Scored me a new big ass van, a new friend, and a load of money. New problem, where the hell are we going to go with all this stuff?

to the casino. Make even more money!

Blow it all on drugs. No regerts.

Keep it so you can replace your bike, or get party favors for tonight.