kill a man and eat his brain to absorb his skills

PeevedPossum 2016/06/16(Thu)02:54 No. 729968 ID: 5ce416
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You weren't planning on engaging in the art of dining upon the flesh of your fellow man, but you have pretty much nothing else to do. As it stands currently, your only weapon that could be useful in this situation is your cheaply made kitchen knife.
Also, who's grey matter do you wish to ingest? Theirs a whole range of possibilities, from scientists to just random strangers on the street.

Your own. You are the smartest person you know.

PeevedPossum 2016/06/16(Thu)03:48 No. 729971 ID: 5ce416
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Despite how this seemed like a brilliant idea at first, you soon realize that this concept of eating ones own brain is not all its cracked up to be. You managed to wedge the knife into your skull, but stopped due to the splitting headache it induced.
Medical attention to this grievous wound would be recommended, as well as selecting a different target once you manage to staunch the blood flow.

This has progressed amazingly. Call 911, unless you feel up to walking to the hospital.

PeevedPossum 2016/06/16(Thu)05:06 No. 729976 ID: 5ce416
File 146607876896.jpg - (143.91KB , 500x500 , 911.jpg )

You stumble your way over to the corded phone and snatch it up in your shaking, pale hands. Just like someone trying to solve a rubix cube with fingers made from the entrails of a goat, your hands flail across the objects surface until you input the right combination of numbers. After a few seconds of buzzing you get a response on the other end.
The 911 operator inquires about the situation. Using a combination of words and noises originating from your mouth you convey the message that you have a knife sticking out of your head.
The voice on the other end of the phone assures you that an ambulance will be arriving at your residence shortly. After you hang up you you feel a sudden rush of dizziness hit you like a ton of bricks smashing into your skull. As you fight through the fog that is slowly clouding your mind, you wonder if theirs anything you wish to do before the paramedics arrive.

Perhaps sit down if you can, and try as carefully as you can to staunch the bleeding around your head wound without disturbing the knife

Eat some cereal maybe? Something with marshmallows?

PeevedPossum 2016/06/16(Thu)06:10 No. 729979 ID: 5ce416
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You attempt to stumble over to the cereal you were eating earlier this morning, thinking you can grab a bowl and sit down in the ancient armchair in the corner. Alas, on your way to the counter you stumble and fall onto the floor with an undignified thump. A darkness gathers around the edge of your vision while you lay there on the floor, listening to the distant sirens. Your eyelids begin to droop as blood loss and brain trauma cause you to pass out.
Due to these traumatic injuries, you will be passed out for the next couple hours.

Dream about the many awards you will receive for your creative and original plan to eat your own brain.

PeevedPossum 2016/06/16(Thu)14:52 No. 730020 ID: 5ce416
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Your mind puts forth images of the future, and how you will be showered in praise and awards for your revolutionary idea of self cannibalism. Speeches will be made to the loving masses as you rise in popularity among the scientific community until you are considered one of the brightest people in the world. No longer will you have to live off of marshmallow based cereal or live in a less then stellar apartment building for the rest of your life.
While these images dance upon your brain, you can hear distant sounds. Sirens, shouting, and a very rhythmic beeping all come together in an interesting symphony of moderately annoying noises.
After what seems like a lifetime of living in this dream state, you feel it's hold on your mind slowly begin to release its thorny grip, gently loosening it's hold on your skull.

Releasing it's grip? Sounds like the perfect time to grab hold and eat it then! Now that it's trapped

>>730020
Write a book about seeing god, make mad dollar despite not actually being a religious man

PeevedPossum 2016/06/16(Thu)16:22 No. 730035 ID: 5ce416
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Your head pounds with a horrid migraine as you gently squint up at the radiant light that fills the room. Multiple thoughts race through your mind, but most of them involve eating things and somehow turning this situation into a way to make a quick buck. From the nearby noises, it seems you are in the local hospital, and also that you are indeed still alive.

It is another person who is envious of your plans for glory, eat your arm to show you aren't going to be intimidated

>>730035
Call for help

PeevedPossum 2016/06/16(Thu)18:00 No. 730066 ID: 5ce416
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As the light clears, you can get a better look at your surroundings. You appear to be in a hospital room that contains very little scenery, and is coated in drab, saddening colors. A doctor stands with a clip board a couple feet away from you bed, hastily taking notes. As a gut reflex you immediately start chewing on your hand, attempting to ingest your arm with a very disappointing amount of success, so you inevitably stop because frankly someone can only take so much self maiming in one day. While you engage in your shenanigans, the doctor clears his throat.
???: "Excuse me sir, you are in safe hands now. If it wouldn't be too bothersome, I'm going to be going over some brief memory tests to make sure your major mental functions are all in order. First off, can you remember your name?"
[PLEASE ENTER NAME]

>First off, can you remember your name?
Gumfort Humphreys.

Ask what happened to the knife they removed from your head. You'd like to keep it, if possible.

>>730074
Gumfort Humphries may not have been our original name, but it certainly is after the incident.