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File 145582453282.png - (97.78KB , 500x500 , dun01.png )
703060 No. 703060 ID: defceb

Oh hello there!

My name is Bardtolomew! It seems last night I took a wrong turn walking home and am now trapped deep in the DUNGEON of ETERNAL TORMENT (and occasionally vast treasure). Between you and me, this is a terrible place to be lost. The locals want to eat me, the air is damp and smelly, and there's traps everywhere. Very poor hospitality. How will I get home?
Expand all images
>>
No. 703063 ID: 5ad4a7

>>703060
Click your heels three times and chant "there's no place like home"
>>
No. 703064 ID: 3663d3

sing the song of your people
>>
No. 703065 ID: c144e2

Put that cap on the floor and start laying down some tunes to get enough money for the bus ride home.
>>
No. 703066 ID: 3d2d5f

Sign songs of praise for the dungeon, get into its good graces. It's the power here, kiss up and show respect.

I mean, you're a bard. Realistically, your only option to survive the dungeon is to eventually seduce it.
>>
No. 703068 ID: 99a64d

by throwing a sausage down a hallway
>>
No. 703072 ID: 15a025

Singing a magic song that makes everyone too horny to do anything.
>>
No. 703079 ID: 2a7417

This is your home now. Arrange the furniture and skeletons in a more pleasing manner.
>>
No. 703083 ID: fa9b55

open your squinty eyes and bore a tunnel to the surface with your long-hidden eye lasers
>>
No. 703093 ID: 5869f6

Realistically, i would suggest contemplating suicide to avoid a more horrible death.

But i feel fate has far, far more in store for you.

Try strumming a short tune to raise morale.
>>
No. 703097 ID: b3ce12

Summon death, beat him, get a golden fiddle from him, and beat your way to freedom with it.
>>
No. 703098 ID: 5ea852

But you're already home.
>>
No. 703109 ID: 9ce7d0
File 145582781189.jpg - (62.07KB , 500x499 , dun02.jpg )
703109

Don't be silly! my home is a way nicer dungeon than this! It even has drapes.

But really i shouldn't talk bad about the place! Dungeons are sensible and they can feel things! Mostly the pain and sorrow of the adventurers that get lost inside it, but they still feel!

Maybe i can convince the dungeon to let me get out unscathed if i praise to it, good idea!

Oh, dear dungeon made of death and stone

Yesterday i might have been drunk to the bone

And now that i have ended here in your bowels

Please don't turn me into skin towels!

Let this poor, delightful (and also relatively charming) bard go

And i promise i shall sing about you in my next show!


And for the finale: The sexiest of riffs!
>>
No. 703110 ID: 9ce7d0
File 145582783304.jpg - (44.47KB , 500x500 , dun03.jpg )
703110

>>
No. 703111 ID: 9ce7d0
File 145582789886.jpg - (50.59KB , 500x500 , dun04.jpg )
703111

Well, it seems one of the denizens didn't enjoy my tribute...

I'm afraid i might have woke up the poor fellow. He doesn't seem pleased to see me...
>>
No. 703112 ID: 5ad4a7

>>703111
Ask which way is the way out.
>>
No. 703113 ID: 2a7417

Don't be so certain! He threw a tip into your hat!
Thank him and find the next hallway to frequent.
>>
No. 703115 ID: 3d2d5f

Apollo-gize for waking him, and try to return his axe to him. In his tired state, the poor thing went and dropped it!
>>
No. 703118 ID: c144e2

sing him a lullaby.
>>
No. 703126 ID: e4abe1
File 145582910899.jpg - (507.70KB , 2160x1619 , drunkstreamart.jpg )
703126

thank you kind sir for the tip! I am glad you enjoyed my song!
>>
No. 703128 ID: e4abe1

>W-what?
Care for a lullaby?
>I...
>>
No. 703129 ID: e4abe1
File 145582936704.jpg - (146.84KB , 1080x809 , drunkstreamart.jpg )
703129

>W-what?
Care for a lullaby?
>I...
>>
No. 703130 ID: e4abe1
File 145582962847.jpg - (178.37KB , 1080x809 , drunkstreamart.jpg )
703130

>>703129
while he is confused you use your bardly skills and play him a lullaby with your lute+2.
"fhew, that was a nice purchase after all!"
>>
No. 703145 ID: 3663d3

use axe to break down door and escape
>>
No. 703149 ID: defceb
File 145583529574.png - (129.10KB , 713x547 , dun02.png )
703149

>Use axe to break down door and escape
I take the axe and use it to destroy a door in a most MUSICAL fashion! Haha! Take that, door!
>>
No. 703150 ID: defceb
File 145583534526.png - (98.75KB , 426x379 , dun03.png )
703150

"Mama, why is that strange man breaking into our house with father's axe?"

"Go back to bed children, mother will protect you."

"Mama I'm scared.
>>
No. 703153 ID: 02422f

>>703150
Woo goblin mother.

Fear not, your husband lent me his axe after I assisted him with his insomnia. Children, dear lady, would you care to hear a song?
>>
No. 703155 ID: 3663d3

ask directions to the exit. and when you leave say he is just passed out around the corner
>>
No. 703156 ID: 2a7417

FREE XP
>>
No. 703158 ID: 5812ad

>>703156
Hogwash. Every bard knows to be talked about is better than not to be talked about at all! And the dead don't talk.
>>703153
YES! AN AUDIENCE! Apologize for your poor conduct in rousing them from slumber. Your dear husband is merely sleeping just outside this chamber.
Your dynamic entrance was made in ignorance, for a bard must carry the weight of poetry in every action they make! Even in entering a room they believe to be ownerless.
We must win the support of the locals in order to become this DUNGEON's most famous entertainer! Truly, a quest worthy of the greatest of troubadours!
>>
No. 703159 ID: 15a025

Walk out and just say you thought this was the way out of the dungeon.
>>
No. 703167 ID: f6442a

>>703158
The dead don't talk? Obviously you don't know any good necromancers.
Hey, if we raise them again as skeletons we get DOUBLE THE XP!
>>
No. 703398 ID: 1d0ef8
File 145588681279.jpg - (59.64KB , 500x500 , dun10.jpg )
703398

Fear not, precious GobMilf, for i am not a mere adventurer

"N-no?"

OF COURSE NOT, I AM A BARD EXTRAORDINAIRE!

"Oh nooooooooo! Please we'll do whatever you ask, don't hurt us"

Ah yes, captive audience, the best kind of audience!

I met your husband earlier in this dungeon

Fear not for his life, he just has a concussion

I search for an exit into the beautiful night

Can you tell me a way out without having to fight?


"J-just get to the room at the end of the corridor. T-t-then pick any door you want, all of them should lead eventually out!"

Perfect! Thank you for you kindness and sorry for the door. Time to go out.

"W-what about my husband's axe?"

OH I HAVE A SONG FOR THAT TOO!

"KEEP THE AXE!KEEP THE AXE!"
>>
No. 703399 ID: 1d0ef8
File 145588692494.jpg - (62.37KB , 800x500 , dun11.jpg )
703399

Oh bother!

I arrived to the room told by the goblin mother, but alas, there are so many doors i can choose from!

So many choices! So little time!
>>
No. 703400 ID: 3663d3

the butt door, obv
>>
No. 703411 ID: fa9b55

clearly the butt leads to 'the end'
>>
No. 703436 ID: 3d2d5f

There wasn't enough wooing in that encounter.

Burst through the right door, singing about butts. Sing their praises.
>>
No. 703445 ID: f6442a

Take the friendly octopus door!
>>
No. 703455 ID: fa18d4

The door with the cute little octopus, of course.
>>
No. 703493 ID: 15a025

Door on the right.
>>
No. 703510 ID: defceb
File 145592079270.png - (111.54KB , 558x434 , dun04.png )
703510

Time to bust down this door in a most MUSICAL fashion, too!

“Oh butts, oh butts, oh booty, oh booty

I can sing every day about your beauty

There is nothing quite like a full moon

I do hope to see one very soon

I hope you have a great deal of mass

‘cause if so I will come for dat-”

>>
No. 703511 ID: defceb
File 145592081406.png - (180.02KB , 836x427 , dun05.png )
703511

“Hruk, is that the drunk asshole that stumbled through town last night, hit on everything that moved, and slept with the chieftain's daughter?”

“Why yes it is, Luk. Yes it is.”
>>
No. 703515 ID: 5ad4a7

Time for the song of Brave Sir Robin, I think.
>>
No. 703518 ID: 38685c

>>703511
Don't be jealous, you're always up for an encore. There's enough Bardtolomew for everyone!
>>
No. 703522 ID: 3663d3

indeed, you are a mighty bard. anyone up for a demonstration?
>>
No. 703524 ID: 9bb56d

>>703511
Did that guy in the front right fart? Or is that the steam? It sure looks like a damn fart. Condemn him with a song that stinks as much as that.
>>
No. 703526 ID: 02422f

Dem elves or orcs?

Ask if you can pull up a seat by the steamer. And strip, of course. When in rome.
>>
No. 703527 ID: f6442a

Hold out your hand for high fives.
>>
No. 703530 ID: 799984

Oh crap, those guys are hot. Impress them with your mad musical ministrations.
>>
No. 703566 ID: 5ea852

You'll do it a second time if they would like it.
>>
No. 704216 ID: 849cc0
File 145609021790.jpg - (48.79KB , 500x500 , dun1.jpg )
704216

Oh, seems i might have left a bad impression of me already. I should have stop after the sixteenth ale.

Nevertheless, i should not get discouraged! Orcs can smell fear.

Time to put on the seducing hat. And by that i mean seduce them!

What you say about me it's really not true,

Oh orcs with bodies so magnificents to look to!

For my love is not only for the ones that moves

But even objecst and tools. As long as it approves!

Now let's enjoy a calm naked time with hot steam

And maybe later we can re-enact my wet d

>>
No. 704217 ID: 849cc0
File 145609027511.jpg - (13.13KB , 500x500 , dun2.jpg )
704217

One of them hits me straight up in the face and all i can taste is darkness.

Oh wow that's good! I need to sign it down for later!

When i'm not unconscious.
>>
No. 704218 ID: 849cc0
File 145609061252.jpg - (55.07KB , 500x500 , dun3.jpg )
704218

Oh. Seems like they tied me up.

And one of them is holding me above the shoulder like a salami. How unconcievable!

"Oh, you woke up already. Thought you'd be out for a while"

Oh please, o captor tell me

were you afraid i would flee?

why have you tied me up so

like a pig on a roadshow?


"Well, boss told us that if we ever see you we have to bring you back to him. You banged his daughter so he pretends whoever disgraced her must become her husband"

OH NO! I AM TOO BARD TO GET MARRIED ALREADY!

What can i do?
>>
No. 704220 ID: 99a64d

Claim to already be married, duh.
>>
No. 704223 ID: 38685c

>>704218
Ask them about their views on polygamy
>>
No. 704226 ID: 02422f

How does the chieftain's daughter feel about this?
>>
No. 704294 ID: 5812ad

>>704226
Agreed. It is the lady's decision what should come of their unseemly tryst Given, seemly notions such as willful marriage seem as befitting to these pillocks as sincere devotion to nonviolent conflict resolution and belief in the healing power of song.
>>
No. 704317 ID: 799984

Agree, obviously, but then seduce the daughter with ADVENTURE and run away with her, always stringing her along and delaying marriage while she bickers at you for sleeping with other ladies.

Eventually she'll get picked off by something. Problem solved.
>>
No. 704328 ID: defceb
File 145610770666.png - (73.45KB , 284x438 , dun06.png )
704328

“In matters such as being maritally imposed

Though I am not per say opposed

Perhaps these manners don’t apply in this backwater

But shouldn’t we first ask said daughter?”


“You want to ask her so badly? Well, if you insist...”
>>
No. 704329 ID: defceb
File 145610771613.png - (137.29KB , 580x635 , dun07.png )
704329

“Presenting the chieftan’s daughter, Murderface Bearfucker Jr.

OH GOOD YOU FOUND HIM!

Their voice is painfully unmusical. My ears burn hearing it.

I’VE ALWAYS WANTED A HOUSE-HUSBAND.”

aND I DON’T WANT TO BE A HOUSEHUSBAND HELP
>>
No. 704330 ID: 15a025

Sing a song of ear pain.
>>
No. 704332 ID: f6442a

Demonstrate incompetence at household chores. You're barely at bachelor-grade levels of self upkeep!
>>
No. 704333 ID: 38685c

>>704329
Sing a song about singing a song when people are trying to sleep and have hangovers and other times when most people don't enjoy songs being song but you will definitely sing them
>>
No. 704339 ID: 99a64d

Be sure to mention that you're alcoholic.

Also, you stuck your dick in that? Color me impressed.
>>
No. 704342 ID: 02422f

Explain that you're religiously incompatible with houses. It just won't work!
>>
No. 704409 ID: 799984

Wait a second; he stole your hat. And it looks BETTER on him than on you!

Cry.
>>
No. 704410 ID: 38685c

>>704329
>>704409
If all else fails give him your lute as well- pass on the holy burden. If you can no longer bard, he must bard for you.
>>
No. 704422 ID: c923aa
File 145613750196.jpg - (72.72KB , 600x780 , dun01.jpg )
704422

"I WANT TO HAVE A LITTLE CHAT WITH MY SOON TO BE POCKET-HUSBAND. GIVE HIM HERE."

"As you wish, Murderface"

"GIVE ME HIS STUFFS TOO. THE COLLECTABLE VALUE IS LESSENED IF THE SET ISN'T COMPLETE."

"Awww, but the hat looks better on my head!"

"DO YOU STILL WISH TO HAVE A HEAD TO PUT HATS ON?"

"ALL YOURS!"

Oh my. Oh my. Seems like i bagged a violent one. Curses on me and my bardic charm.


Also probably those two dozens ale i had...
>>
No. 704423 ID: c923aa
File 145613798063.jpg - (39.78KB , 500x500 , dun02.jpg )
704423

I need to try to convince her that i am not husband material. Quick!

You might think i can be a good catch

but unfortunately i come with a nasty dispatch!

For you see i tend to drink myself asleep

and even worse i am horrible as a housekeep!

My songs might now sounds delightful and nice

but when i sing in the evening i am worse than a lice

I am sorry i...

>>
No. 704425 ID: c923aa
File 145613836969.jpg - (47.29KB , 500x500 , dun03.jpg )
704425

"DO NOT WORRY, I DO NOT PLAN TO MARRY YOU"

Oh? Well that's a relief. Even if i feel kinda disappointed.

"YESTERDAY YOU SHOWED ME THAT EVEN A CREATURE LIKE ME CAN BE LOVED TENDERLY. AND THAT THERE IS A CHANCE FOR ME IN THE WORLD TO FIND SOMEONE THAT WILL LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM DESPITE... WELL... WHAT I AM."

Damn good bardic charm at its finest! That's what i do best!

"AND I KNOW THAT A BARD LIKE YOU CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT BE CHAINED DOWN IN A SINGLE PLACE. YOUR FREEDOM AND LOVE MUST BE SPREAD IN THE WORLD. BUT MY PAPA IS ADAMANT ON OUR ANCIENT RULES AND AWFUL TRADITIONS. HE STILL THINK I AM HIS LITTLE SWEET BABY ORC, EVEN IF I CAN SNAP A DRAGON IN HALF. I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT I CAN DO TO HELP, BUT I AM WILLING TO."

Well this went better than i expected. Thank you Bardic Luck!

I am still not completely free, though. I should think of a way out of this situation.
>>
No. 704426 ID: 5ea852

Tell her to elope with you. While you travel together, she might find true love in some prince locked in a tower, guarded by a dragon which will have severe back problems after she's done with it.
>>
No. 704989 ID: defceb
File 145628480986.png - (52.58KB , 497x497 , dun08.png )
704989

“Why not, with me, elope?

We could, with some hope,

find a prince locked in a tower

with a fierce dragon as his, uh…”

It’s really hard to rhyme next to a woman who breathes as loud as a jet engine.

A PRINCE BEING HELP CAPTIVE BY A DRAGON, YOU SAY? I KNOW JUST THE PLACE!

Oh no she’s going to jump stop-!
>>
No. 704990 ID: defceb
File 145628482147.png - (81.71KB , 579x662 , dun09.png )
704990

HUP!
>>
No. 704993 ID: defceb
File 145628487590.png - (234.21KB , 819x703 , dun10.png )
704993

THERE IT IS! THE KEEP OF COUNTLESS MISERIES and occasionally mild discomforts HIDDEN SAFELY IN THE DUNGEON OF ETERNAL TORMENT and sometimes shiny consolation prizes.
>>
No. 704998 ID: 3663d3

of course! now she just fight past the guards and break the spell. you will provide mood music.
>>
No. 705020 ID: 02422f

>>704993
Yay?

Play "flight of the Valkyries" or medieval equivalent as your aerial attack descends.
>>
No. 705065 ID: 6adc5c

Sing a tale about your victory.
>>
No. 705094 ID: 5812ad

>>704425
What a fucking superbabe. And what respect for bardic tradition! Truly you have inspired great heroism in her heart! Just think what tales you might one day sing of this adventure!
>>
No. 705095 ID: 2a7417

Play screamo music.
>>
No. 705631 ID: 1ed605
File 145651349085.jpg - (54.49KB , 850x500 , dun01.jpg )
705631

I istintctively play a fast paced theme as we fly through the caves. Landing in the court of the castle.

A poor skeleton guard is obliterated by the shockwave caused by Murderface's landing.

I think it might have also relocated several of my internal organs.

But i'm not a medic, just a bard. So what do i know.
>>
No. 705632 ID: 1ed605
File 145651370790.jpg - (92.60KB , 800x535 , dun02.jpg )
705632

"I'M GOING TO NEED BOTH HANDS HERE I THINK. GONNA PUT YOU IN A PLACE WHERE YOU WON'T FALL."

I'd probably appreciate my new accomodation better if i still wasn't feeling airsick from the flight...

I strung some notes while Murderface smother the guards in the castle courtyard.

"OK. GUARDS ARE GONE. WHERE DO I FIND THE HOT PRINCE?"

Oh bother. She really believes there is a prince here. What am i to do?
>>
No. 705698 ID: 02422f

>>705632
Captured royals are almost always held locked in the tallest tower. It's a tradition!
>>
No. 705773 ID: 3663d3

tallest tower or darkest dungeon.
>>
No. 705908 ID: 5ea852

>>705632
Search for a dragon, but steel your heart, lass. Your potential beau might have become a snack...
>>
No. 705980 ID: 87a0aa

What kind of men is she interested anyway? A prince for sure but would she settle for something like a prince of gnomes or something?
>>
No. 706064 ID: f29c01

Clearly the dank- darkest dungeon.
>>
No. 706146 ID: 15a025

Sing the song of invisibility.
>>
No. 706298 ID: defceb
File 145678660320.png - (89.61KB , 559x430 , dun11.png )
706298

“Royals are kept like any great flower

In either a dark dungeon, or held up in a tower.”


”GOOD IDEA.”
>>
No. 706299 ID: defceb
File 145678661458.png - (52.21KB , 465x322 , dun12.png )
706299

”YOU CHECK THE DUNGEONS. CALL ME IF YOU FIND ANY ROYAL CUTIES.”

She throws me on the ground and leaps into the tower with all the grace of a brick.

Ow my butt.
>>
No. 706300 ID: defceb
File 145678665745.png - (153.97KB , 737x539 , dun13.png )
706300

“Who dares enter the realm that belongs to me, Penelope Firebreath Ashdrinker the 36th, most fearsome half-dragon in all the realms, and hoarder of erotic fiction!?”
>>
No. 706301 ID: 5ad4a7

>>706300
SEDUCE HER

SING HER AN EROTIC FICTION SONG
>>
No. 706302 ID: 15a025

Taunt her by singing an ugly song.
>>
No. 706306 ID: 7cb4d2

Oh-ho! A lady fair to be wooed by your song! Sing her a song of the ferocity and the beauty of a half-dragon! And if she is hoarding some prince here? Maybe convince her that you are the better choice of mate? That way murderface gets her prince and you get laid!
>>
No. 706310 ID: 02422f

>>706300
Woo her, so much.
>>
No. 706318 ID: 38685c

>>706300
Eyyy, this is more your CR rating. Ask whether her dad or her mom was the half dragon.
>>
No. 706364 ID: c45b7e

>>706299
A suitor like none other, never a bother, a magnificent lover, potentially even a wonderful father.
>>
No. 706366 ID: 02422f

>hoarder of erotic fiction
You should offer to sing some to her.

Or compose some together.
>>
No. 706368 ID: f6442a

Tell her a tale of the powerful and mighty orc that lays siege to her very-not-phallic tower in search of nubile young princes.
>>
No. 706389 ID: 9bb56d

is her chest large or is that just her robe. I seem to be confused.
>>
No. 706427 ID: 2f83f4

>>706300
I really hope this isn't your daughter, that'd make seducing awkward.
>>
No. 706428 ID: 5ad4a7

Wait a minute what if her father is the true owner of the castle? Did we just set up Murderface with a dragon?
>>
No. 706556 ID: da3774
File 145687037062.jpg - (61.63KB , 700x450 , dun01.jpg )
706556

"Who are you?! And what are you doing here! ANSWER IMMEDIATELY!"

Dear firebreathing lady that hoards smut

Pardon me, for i didn't arrive here on my strut.

I would not willingly bother a creature like you

whose interests are the tales of people that are lewd!



"Wait, then how did you get here?"


I was helping a friend that asked me

to seek for her a partner that won't flee

She's the orc that is climbing your highest tower

with all the grace of a boulder shower!



"The highest tower? BUT THAT'S WHERE DAD KEEPS HIS PRECIOUS COLLECTION OF EXTREMELY SHATTERABLE AND FRAIL GLASS PENGUIN STATUES!"
>>
No. 706559 ID: 5ad4a7

>>706556
Oh god, call Murderface back!

Also ask about her father. Is he hot?
>>
No. 706561 ID: da3774
File 145687078985.jpg - (73.72KB , 700x500 , dun02.jpg )
706561

"I GOTTA STOP HER! OR DAD WILL KILL ME!"

But didn't you say this was your realm early on?

Aren't you the ruler or is there an acutal dragon?


"Yes, that would be my dad... He and mom are away for their new honeymoon and they left me in charge of the castle! Oh gods they will never let me get out of the castle ever again!"

So there is no prince or noble around?

Or even a good looking guy with a nice background?


"What? No! My parents are way too overprotective with me, they haven't left anyone around me and they have forbid me to meet anyone. That's why i collect erotica. At least i can be ready when something hap... OH GODS I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE TOWER ALREADY!"
>>
No. 706563 ID: da3774
File 145687084367.jpg - (44.01KB , 500x500 , dun03.jpg )
706563

Wait...

Might it be...

I have stumbled upon the holy grail for bards and good looking skalds?
>>
No. 706564 ID: da3774
File 145687087010.gif - (345.78KB , 500x500 , vdp.gif )
706564

>>
No. 706567 ID: 3663d3

they forbid you to meet anyone, but you have now met me~~
>>
No. 706572 ID: c45b7e

>>706564
Good dragon lass, a fair maiden indeed, she needs a bardly gentleman...to giver her...hmm..his 'D'.
>>
No. 706579 ID: 2a7417

Do not fret! I am sure Murderface is much more agile than a bull in a china shop!
>>
No. 706586 ID: 15a025

Time to get your sexy on.
>>
No. 706590 ID: 5ad4a7

>>706564
Help her stop Murderface and she'll be in your debt! Then, maybe if you can find out another possible location for HOT DUDES you can promise to help Murderface out some more after tapping that sweet sweet dragon ass.
>>
No. 706606 ID: 02422f

>>706564
If you want to woo her, you're going to have to do something heroic.

Like saving the tower to save her from getting grounded.

...in all her erotica, does she know of any princes your orc friend would be interested in? She can travel pretty fast, distance isn't an issue.
>>
No. 706632 ID: 38685c

>>706564
Welp, go tell her this castle is a botch. Got a princess, not a prince.
>>
No. 706748 ID: 2315e6

Follow the lady, she is in need of wooing with erotic songs!
>>
No. 706827 ID: 799984

Use bard-song to summon giant orc lady.
>>
No. 707187 ID: defceb
File 145708658048.png - (137.87KB , 456x911 , dun14.png )
707187

Murderface please cease your raid!
>>
No. 707188 ID: defceb
File 145708659952.png - (80.31KB , 575x578 , dun15.png )
707188

”WHY?”

My words I’m afraid I will not mince
but in that tower you will find no prince

Perhaps you can find some royal or vassal
hidden away inside of a different castle

but in your quest you should not waver
and you could even consider this a little favor

Because, and perhaps this is a bit too bold
But the truth must be told…

>>
No. 707189 ID: defceb
File 145708660830.png - (81.05KB , 575x578 , dun16.png )
707189

>>
No. 707190 ID: defceb
File 145708662224.png - (95.89KB , 575x578 , dun17.png )
707190

”....I’m trying to get laid.”

OOOHHHHHHH.
>>
No. 707191 ID: defceb
File 145708666331.png - (124.30KB , 602x454 , dun18.png )
707191

She leaps away and I return to the fair lady.

Fair lady, I return shouting alas!
I have managed to save your tower with glass
The castle too was minimally trashed
For we did not even have to clash


“You saved the day! That means you’re my hero! But more importantly, you’re A hero! Do you know what that means?”

Perhaps now I could admire your-

“It means get in the dungeon you’re my prisoner now. Father is going to be so proud, I captured a hero!”
>>
No. 707192 ID: 5ad4a7

>>707191
Offer to make some of her erotica come true in exchange for your freedom.
>>
No. 707193 ID: 3663d3

seduce level at maximum.
>>
No. 707194 ID: 139629

>>707191
Ask if you're her prisoner...of love.
>>
No. 707205 ID: e4abe1
File 145709755469.png - (284.97KB , 800x600 , drunkcanvas.png )
707205

"But I have already being captured by your beauty, my fair lady" you smile seductively
"W-what do you mean?!" She blush shyly.
>>
No. 707210 ID: e4abe1
File 145709806479.png - (88.89KB , 800x600 , drunkcanvas.png )
707210

>>707205
"Oh, you know :3, Maybe I cna help make some of your fictions tr-"
Suddenly the room goes dark.
>>
No. 707216 ID: 904bad

>>707210
Welp.... compliment the father of his nice home! what a decor!
>>
No. 707222 ID: 3d2d5f

>It means get in the dungeon you’re my prisoner now.
I see no way this can backfire.

Explain (in verse) to the dragon who just landed how you heroically saved the contents of his tower, and how impressed you are that his daughter subsequently captured you. Why, we're off to the dungeon now! *Scamper away*
>>
No. 707223 ID: cab7d6

Assume the Dungeon Escort Submission Position.
>>
No. 707232 ID: 4f6b20

You know what this is? Thats the you cue to leave the stage. Fast. Very Fast.
>>
No. 707681 ID: 775b9d
File 145736067404.jpg - (168.50KB , 500x500 , DUN01.jpg )
707681

"It's a pleasuer to meet you lord of fire and slaughter

i swear i wasn't trying to woo your lovely da...


eeck! He licked me

"That's not my dad. That's just my shadow demon pet Bubu. He likes you"

Well that's nice.

"Maybe when dad is done telling how good i am he will feed you to him"

Well that's really less nice!
>>
No. 707682 ID: 775b9d
File 145736076303.jpg - (132.67KB , 500x500 , DUN02.jpg )
707682

"Come on Bubu! Bring him to the dungeon! I can't wait till dad comes back!"

Well i didn't think i'd have to resort to this but...
>>
No. 707684 ID: 775b9d
File 145736081075.jpg - (169.77KB , 500x500 , DUN03.jpg )
707684

It is time to crank up the seduction to MAXIMUM OVERLEVEL!
>>
No. 707685 ID: 775b9d
File 145736088689.jpg - (161.48KB , 500x500 , DUN04.jpg )
707685

"Please i would ask you to reconsider your idea

I'm not as good as prisoner as i am for sex panacea!

You wish to practice what you have studied so long, no?

My full knowledge of the pracite upon you i can bestow


Let's just take a bit of time for ourselves inside your bedroom

and you shall feel on you what everyone else consider taboo!"

>>
No. 707686 ID: 775b9d
File 145736099028.jpg - (88.24KB , 500x500 , DUN05.jpg )
707686

Well that worked!

She grabbed me and rushed to her bedchambers where she throws me on her bed with eagerness.
>>
No. 707687 ID: 775b9d
File 145736105323.jpg - (143.83KB , 500x500 , DUN06.jpg )
707687

"Please, be gentle with me... It's my first time!"

Well she is really eager to begin.

I hope i haven't heated her too much with my maximum overlevel seduction.
>>
No. 707688 ID: 3641d4

Start slow and french kiss.
>>
No. 707689 ID: 158650

>>707687
Ok, she is fire breathing levels of ready, that may be a little too far on the seduction scale. Are your bardic clothes even fireproof? Not that you'll be wearing any soon at this rate, but If she isn't even paying attention to her own flames whose to say she won't crush you with draconic strength? Hard to have a good time when your pelvis is shattered.
>>
No. 707690 ID: 665ed8

Seduce her until she is unconscious!
>>
No. 707691 ID: 2a7417

>>707688
Avoid the firey mouthparts! ...For now. Instead, aim a liiittle lower.
Pbbbbbbbbbbbbb
>>
No. 707695 ID: 3d2d5f

>>707687
Seduce her while avoiding getting shredded by claws or lit on fire. Hardmode seduction: dangerous dragon's delight.
>>
No. 707698 ID: 139629

Seek shelter from the flames under her skirt and start French kissing.
>>
No. 707706 ID: 5ad4a7

>>707687
Worth.
>>
No. 707707 ID: 1ac872

>>707687
I hope you're wearing a ring of protection.

....Fire. Fire protection.
>>
No. 707708 ID: c45b7e

>>707687
Horns make for leverage!
>>
No. 707740 ID: f4989a

Grab her by the horns, use them as leverage and handlebars. Doggy style might be best so you aren't face first in fire
>>
No. 707756 ID: 7e1ea2

>>707687
Doggy-style until she stops breathing fire. and blowjobs are definitely off the menu for now.
>>
No. 707766 ID: f6442a

>>707756
But who doesn't love a weenie roast?
>>
No. 707774 ID: 373ff7

>>707687

Grab those horns and ride her like an harley davidson!
>>
No. 707780 ID: 904bad

Remember to use protection! i this case, asbestos should work.
>>
No. 708102 ID: defceb
File 145759941527.png - (165.20KB , 658x685 , dun19.png )
708102

>Seek shelter from the flames under her skirt and start French kissing.

Bard dive!

"What are you- oh!"
>>
No. 708103 ID: defceb
File 145759944853.jpg - (8.64KB , 658x685 , dun20.jpg )
708103

"Oh my~"
>>
No. 708108 ID: 5ad4a7

Get her onto the bed and those clothes off her.
>>
No. 708125 ID: 158650

So how does a half-dragon taste Bardtolomew? Or did you just get a mouthful of chastity-belt?
>>
No. 708174 ID: 8715cf

Use secret boss cunnilingus code, guaranteed to make any female monster experience intense pleasure!

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, swirl left, swirl right, clit lick! (You may want to hold on to something)
>>
No. 708184 ID: 02422f

>>708103
Time to play her like a flute. Or lute. Or whatever musical instrument metaphor you're comfortable with.
>>
No. 708186 ID: 47160d

Discover that young males dragons are nearly impossible to tell from females
>>
No. 708187 ID: 47160d

Discover that young males dragons are nearly impossible to tell from females
>>
No. 709896 ID: ce0b0b
File 145823815918.jpg - (71.04KB , 500x800 , Dun01.jpg )
709896

"Oh! In my eagerness i forgot to tell you! Dad made me wear a special chastity belt and he kept the..."

*CLICK*

"...key..."
>>
No. 709898 ID: ce0b0b
File 145823847975.jpg - (58.24KB , 800x500 , Dun02.jpg )
709898

I spit the locket away.

"As mother always used to say

When we lived in orchestra bay

It always help for paying the bills

To learn one or two roguish skills!

Now let's take off these bulky clothes

So that our naked bodies we can expose

And i will answer your secret prayer

And show you the might of a dragon's layer"

>>
No. 709899 ID: ce0b0b
File 145823853731.jpg - (38.79KB , 600x600 , Dun03.jpg )
709899

>>
No. 709900 ID: ce0b0b
File 145823863475.jpg - (100.75KB , 600x600 , Dun04.jpg )
709900

FHWAMMMMMM!
>>
No. 709903 ID: ce0b0b
File 145823883157.jpg - (63.10KB , 800x550 , Dun05.jpg )
709903

Let's see. Several burns and scratches. Probably a broken rib or two. My clothes reduced to a crisp aside for my trusty hat.

But it was totally WORTH IT!

One less thing on my bucket list. Nice.

Which reminds me. I am still inside the Dungeon of Eternal Torment (and from time to time incredibly satysfing pleasures). And i should consider finding a way out.

Ideally before another father starts to look for me...
>>
No. 709904 ID: 2a7417

Maybe it was more of a mental prison. You've freed yourself by obtaining perfect bliss!
>>
No. 709918 ID: 38685c

>>709903
Go for another round.
>>
No. 709948 ID: 5ad4a7

>>709903
I guess you'll need to bum some clothes off the girl.
>>
No. 709956 ID: 02422f

>And i should consider finding a way out.
But there are dragons and things to lay here. Why do you need to leave?

The dungeon, at least. The bedroom you of course have to leave before daddy shows up.

>what do
I think you're gonna need a new hat. Or to at least replace the feather.

Should you get a token from the lady? A ribbon or scale or something?
>>
No. 710089 ID: 08ed3a

What kind of man doesn't give his lady after sex snuggles?!?! Maybe while you are having your pillow talk inquire about a new set of clothes and an exit? See if she wants to come with you maybe?
>>
No. 711024 ID: defceb
File 145876373568.png - (164.85KB , 643x667 , dun21.png )
711024

>Go for another round.
Check!

>What kind of man doesn't give his lady after sex snuggles?!?!
Also check! She's far too asleep to bother asking for clothes though.

>Why do you need to leave?
It would be a loss to all the fair maidens (and all the buff knights) on the surface should I never return. Oh what cruelty that would be!

>Should you get a token from the lady? A ribbon or scale or something?
I look around for a token of her affections. Is that... it can't be! Priceless magical treasures! I spot:

THE HARP OF DIVINE TUNES and sometimes infernal misfortunes!

THE RING OF OCCASIONALLY ACCURATE TELEPORTATION and often inaccurate acts of locomotion


and THE SWORD OF MIGHTY CHARM and acts of accidental piracy!

P-perhaps if I take just one she won't notice they're missing...?
>>
No. 711026 ID: 2a7417

Bad bard, no stealing. It's not good for your reputation with the ladies.
>>
No. 711027 ID: 99a64d

Stealing is bad, but you'll definitely make better use of that ring than she ever could.
>>
No. 711033 ID: d2d2bf

>>711024
Stealing is wrong, but it also has a certain devilish charm.

Get that sweet harp.
>>
No. 711035 ID: 343b23

Maybe ask if you can take one if she wakes up. Either way choose harp.
>>
No. 711038 ID: 38685c

>>711024
Wait for her to wake up like a gentlebard.
>>
No. 711048 ID: 02422f

>P-perhaps if I take just one she won't notice they're missing...?
These seem rather valuable to be taken as a token without her blessing. It would be a terrible blight on her experience if she were to wake up and be distraught that you absconded with one of her treasures. Especially since she's half dragon, treasure hoarding is instinctive! You couldn't mar this lovely lady's first time that way!

Either take something she won't miss but will be sentimental for you, or wait for her to wake. (And if she grants you a boon then, request the harp).
>>
No. 711064 ID: f6442a

Wait for her to wake up, but equip the ring in case mister dragon comes home. For a boon, pick the Sword of Absolutely No Compensation.
>>
No. 711154 ID: 08ed3a

Well you could always just try and wake her up, maybe just give her a little shake and whisper sensually in her ear?

If you are intent on getting out of here though, take the ring. However, the harp might prove more useful to you. Before you skedaddle however, leave the lady a calling card, something to remember you by. After you select you treasure, find something to wear, don't want to make other monster and adventurer men jealous!
>>
No. 713000 ID: 4b7681
File 145953744080.jpg - (54.56KB , 550x500 , DUN01.jpg )
713000

I go back to the bed and whisper to Penelope.

"I hope i don't sound like a buffoon

but would you mind if i take a lil boon?

For all my stuffs have been burnt to dust

while i was busy with your mouth and bust.

I would not mind to have something to remember you

And i'll leave you my card in case you wanna screw
"

She giggles, half asleep.

"Mmmmh take whatever you need and want. You deserved it!"

She turns around with a smile and starts snoring.
>>
No. 713001 ID: 4b7681
File 145953750369.jpg - (43.10KB , 400x500 , DUN02.jpg )
713001

Well i should start to see if there is a good outfit i can wear.

...

...


Maybe i'll look more carefully.

Why does she even owns this?
>>
No. 713002 ID: 4b7681
File 145953762310.jpg - (48.20KB , 480x500 , DUN03.jpg )
713002

There! Now this is a better outfit. Suited for a bard.

I think i'll take the harp after all. Even if...


Mmmh with this ring getting out of the dungeon might be a piece of ca-
>>
No. 713003 ID: 4b7681
File 145953766857.jpg - (70.36KB , 550x800 , DUN04.jpg )
713003

-ke

WHAT

WHAT HAPPENED

WHERE AM I?

Mmmmmmh... vanilla.
>>
No. 713004 ID: 4b7681
File 145953786875.jpg - (77.80KB , 800x500 , DUN05.jpg )
713004

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbCntwcdwvs

"WHO DARES DEFY THE BIDDAY OF DE GREAT ALONSO LOSTRONSO, LEADER OF THE GNOME SYNDICATE (and sometimes trainer of thesoftball youth gnomish team)?!?"
>>
No. 713005 ID: 5ad4a7

The entertainment has arrived, sir!

Play them a lovely melody.
>>
No. 713043 ID: 99a64d

Put the ring on, sing a song of all the best places you've visited.
>>
No. 713056 ID: 8138da

Oh-ho! Another captive audience, and a birthday to boot! And what's this, stripper in the cake armed with a knife of deadly assassination (and sometimes impressive feats of juggling)? Clearly, you just saved this mans life! This calls for celebration!
>>
No. 713061 ID: 310c28

Serenade him to the tune of the godfather theme!
>>
No. 713155 ID: 02422f

>>713002
Is the harp already on your back? I hope the harp is on your back.

>>713004
Play happy birthday, it's finally public domain!

Play as if your life depends on it, because it probably does.
>>
No. 713862 ID: defceb
File 145980090906.png - (186.53KB , 687x625 , dun22.png )
713862

”Oh-ho! Another captive audience, and a birthday to boot!

And what’s this but a stripper carrying some deadly loot

A knife of most deadly assassination
and sometimes impressive feats of juggling

did they hide inside this delicious ration!

But don’t be worried over this small frustration.

I have saved the day, so it’s time for celebration!
and then maybe acts of lewd snuggling.”
>>
No. 713863 ID: defceb
File 145980092630.png - (123.78KB , 637x532 , dun23.png )
713863

>>
No. 713864 ID: defceb
File 145980093191.png - (123.32KB , 637x532 , dun24.png )
713864

>>
No. 713866 ID: 2a7417

Hoist the defeated assassin over your shoulder and carry her off. The mafia would have her sleeping with the fishes, but we would have her sleeping with the bard!
>>
No. 713867 ID: 628856

Of course after some celebration and musical accompaniment, we are owed a favor. That's how all mob deals go, you save the Don, you get a favor! We could use some assistance, so yes request that the assassin be made to join us on our quest out of the dungeon! A Bard and Rogue? Now that's an adventure!
>>
No. 713879 ID: 02422f

Take a bow, then start play the encore.
>>
No. 713887 ID: 15a025

>>713879
Yes, let's give them an encore they shall not soon forget!
>>
No. 715551 ID: 7e5700
File 146031900107.jpg - (51.73KB , 600x500 , dun1.jpg )
715551

Thank you, thank you!

what a delightful crew!

i wish your gnominess a happy birthday

and now with your blessign i'm off to slay

this assassin that came here to cut

but was stopped by my great strut.


The gnome don waves his hand and i bow with respect.
>>
No. 715553 ID: 7e5700
File 146031910124.jpg - (58.05KB , 600x500 , dun2.jpg )
715553

And then i leg it before they ask where i really came from.

Also taking the elf assassin because a booty so fine needs to be saved.
>>
No. 715555 ID: 7e5700
File 146031922711.jpg - (45.26KB , 500x500 , dun3.jpg )
715555

When i am sure we are far away enough i put her down

No need to thank me for the prodigal save

but if you wish you can let me explore your c..

>>
No. 715556 ID: 7e5700
File 146031954115.jpg - (70.64KB , 600x500 , dun4.jpg )
715556

"SAVE??? YOU MORON PUT ME IN AN EVEN BIGGER DANGER!"

Oh boy she had an HIDDEN BLADE OF EXTREMELY PAINFUL DISMEMBERMENT (AND EXCELLENT WOODCARVERY).

"I WAS PAID BY THE GNOME SYNDICATE (AND SOFTBALL RIVAL)'S WORST ENEMY. THE LEADER OF THE FLAME ELEMENTALS MAFIA. IVO SONKATT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY GOING TO DO TO ME WHEN THEY LEARN I DIDN'T MANAGE TO KILL ALONSO BECAUSE AN IDIOT KICKED ME IN THE FACE AFTER LANDING IN THE CAKE I WAS HIDING IN??!?"

I... imagine not good things?

"PROBABLY SOMETHING WORSE THAN WHAT I AM ABOUT TO DO TO YOU..."

Help!
>>
No. 715557 ID: f6442a

This is exactly the situation you picked out the ring of teleportation for. Teleport!
>>
No. 715564 ID: f461c5

She already got paid, right?
Because when with a bard one need never* fear unwholesome debtors. Escaping one's just deserts is like half of a bard's job. Grab her and teleport.

(*in optimal situations, no refunds)
>>
No. 715567 ID: 02422f

>>715557
What, give up on wooing a lady simply because she has a knife to our face? That's hardly bardic!

>>715556
You apologize for the disgruntlement of her employer, but you hope she can appreciate being spared the tender mercies of her target? You interruption was not intentional, and you made your best effort to correct the difficulties it inspired.

But why focus on past failures? As an assassin, shouldn't she have more of a professional interest in how you appeared, suddenly and without warning, in front of a powerful man, bypassing all his defenses, without having to resort to smuggled confectionery? Why, if you could do such a thing, your future jobs would be much easier, and you could avoid any annoyed clients with ease!

(tl;dr- woo her by promising to give her our secret mode of transport, have sexy elf assassin times, then give her the ring, she poofs before she can kill us anyways).
>>
No. 715572 ID: 1fb972

You wooed a fucking orcish princess that could have LITTERALLY ripped you into pieces with her bare hands, and a half dragon who again, LITTERALLY almost burned you alive mid coitus. You think one measly little knife is going to scare us? Grow some balls and woo the fuck out of her! Convince her to join you and you two can escape the dungeon and the mafia together!
>>
No. 715577 ID: 99a64d

Grab her and teleport her somewhere romantic (and safe from the mafia).
>>
No. 715607 ID: f6442a

Point out that the so-called Knife of Excellent Woodcarvery has so many teeth on the blade that its use in woodcarving is questionable, and therefore the seller may also have been lying about the extremely painful dismemberment capabilities. Assure her you'll let her offload this faulty merchandise to you by using it as payment for the clean getaway you'll provide from the enemies of the gnome mafia!
>>
No. 715804 ID: 2a1e02

>>715556
Then why don't you hide underwater or something?
Flame mafia can't touch you when you're very wet!

Or would you like me to make you wet?
>>
No. 715808 ID: 4834ab

Hey baby, let's sleep with the fishes.
>>
No. 716064 ID: defceb
File 146050082930.png - (131.17KB , 529x478 , dun25.png )
716064

>You wooed a fucking orcish princess that could have LITTERALLY ripped you into pieces with her bare hands
I feel safe saying Murderface’s idea of stabbing me involved more walking funny and sitting down carefully the next day and less bleeding from the guts.

I apologize for any disgruntlement to your probably now former employer
But perhaps you should know I don’t intend to loiter
I fully intend to leave this dungeon
And with it abscond from all the munchkins

With a bard like me you need never fear debtors
For we could run faster than any letter-


”OR I COULD GUT YOU FIRST.”

”Also that knife is fake, yo.”

”...FINE.”
>>
No. 716065 ID: defceb
File 146050083926.png - (70.75KB , 741x278 , dun26.png )
716065

Input name!
>>
No. 716067 ID: 3009b4

6 letter name?

Lilian

She is a part-time stripper. Clearly. Or cam whore.
>>
No. 716068 ID: 4a5baa

>>716065
Celly. And she's a part-time baker.
>>
No. 716069 ID: f6442a

Lillian Staker, part time baker.
>>
No. 716071 ID: 3009b4

Considering her ability, perhaps we should say she's a professional baker and part-time assassin instead.
>>
No. 716072 ID: 15a025

Roxan, the part time saxophone player.
>>
No. 716073 ID: 3009b4

Wait, are we invoking power of rhyme?

Lilian Rock-Tukker, part-time assassin and professional cock-sucker.

Lilian Peezy, part-time assassin, professionally easy

Lilian Lutlutt, part-time assassin, professional...
>>
No. 716074 ID: 02422f

>>716068
Seconding.

How else did she get the cake, obviously? It's just talent that she made it around herself!
>>
No. 716079 ID: 1fb972

Selwyn, professional assassin and part time pastry chef
>>
No. 716158 ID: e47e93

Marie.
hwy not?
Enhance knockers
Stick a dick in it? yes?
This is becoming a staircase
>>
No. 716165 ID: 59a537

>>716068
Baking a cake then jumping out of it to kill people. Its the perfect crime!
>>
No. 716215 ID: 737d5c

>>716068
This.
>>
No. 716225 ID: c45b7e

>>716065
Chesty D. Elf
>>
No. 716341 ID: 79a07e

>>716069
It works too well. Voting this.
>>
No. 719016 ID: 433763
File 146161090869.jpg - (63.03KB , 650x500 , DUN01.jpg )
719016

LILIAN STAKER, Professional assassin (and part-time baker) begrudgingly joins the party!

HORRAY FOR FORCED COOPERATION!
>>
No. 719017 ID: 433763
File 146161105964.jpg - (56.82KB , 800x460 , DUN02.jpg )
719017

"So how are we getting out of this mess?"

With a gift from my latest fling

an incredible valuabe, teleporting r

>>
No. 719018 ID: 433763
File 146161113795.jpg - (47.06KB , 550x500 , DUN03.jpg )
719018

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing...

Oh crap...

i might have lost my ring after falling in the cake...
>>
No. 719020 ID: 35151f

>>719018
so go back and get it? They should be fine with it since you saved the bossman's life, right?
>>
No. 719022 ID: cab7d6

Time for an encore!
>>
No. 719189 ID: b16ad8

Ask dearest Lillian how well she can hide in the shadows? She may need to do so if we intend to recover the ring. Might want to hurry it up too, if the don or anyone else touches it, I doubt they will take kindly to seeing them suddenly disapeer.
>>
No. 719323 ID: a075ba

It's too dangerous to head back in, we'll have to recover the ring from the cleaning staff, after hours!
>>
No. 720520 ID: defceb
File 146222331192.png - (115.34KB , 833x596 , dun27.png )
720520

>>
No. 720521 ID: defceb
File 146222332917.png - (230.02KB , 833x596 , dun28.png )
720521

"SURPRISE ENCORE!"
>>
No. 720522 ID: defceb
File 146222335190.png - (78.43KB , 473x370 , dun29.png )
720522

"This ring. It's very pretty. It shines just like the stars in the night-"
>>
No. 720523 ID: defceb
File 146222337291.png - (56.04KB , 473x370 , dun30.png )
720523

POOF!
>>
No. 720525 ID: a075ba

...and a surprise magic trick! Thank you, thank you!

*Jump right back out the window*
>>
No. 720573 ID: f6442a

Pretend the ring has shrunk the gnome mafioso, and hold him up in your hand as if to show everyone. Then pretend to accidentally trip and yell for the gnomes to catch "him" while you make your escape.

...

On a motorcycle!
>>
No. 720594 ID: 08ed3a

Shiiiiiit.... Alright then plan C, act like you have no idea what just happened, bardic bluffing!
>>
No. 721868 ID: b73e84
File 146273393363.jpg - (39.06KB , 700x500 , DUN01.jpg )
721868

"HOY WHERE IS DAH BOSS?"

"HOY WHY IS THE BADD STILLA HEAH?"

A magic trick for you all, dear friends!

a playful and masterful way that the party extends!

Now let's play a funny party game together

Find the boss that is now as big as a feather!

>>
No. 721870 ID: b73e84
File 146273403816.jpg - (54.15KB , 700x500 , DUN02.jpg )
721870

"Are you sure?"

"EEEEEEH Foggettaboutit. I'm on Bluto's team"

"SURPRISE EXIT!"
>>
No. 721872 ID: b73e84
File 146273415437.jpg - (39.33KB , 500x500 , DUN03.jpg )
721872

Boy that sure was a cruise.

Sorry, Lilian i might have bad news...

>>
No. 721873 ID: b73e84
File 146273424051.jpg - (50.70KB , 700x500 , DUN04.jpg )
721873

Lilian: "How nice. Please just put them in the pile..."

"Hallo."

Oh crap it's the Flame elemental Mafia...
>>
No. 721877 ID: a075ba

>>721873
Flirt with the flame elementals. They're flaming, right?

Ask them what their concern is. The job is done! The rival mob boss has been disappeared from the middle of his own party, and they're not even going to find the body.
>>
No. 721888 ID: a66018

"There is no need to fret my dear mobsters, for the big boss is gone away to be with the monsters, a magical ring has sent him away, so can you please give me back my friend to steal another day?"
>>
No. 721896 ID: 469630

Quickly! Hide! I've been followed!
>>
No. 721901 ID: a22f87

oh crap it's mugsy and rocky

tell them the job is done but the other gang is looking around to find who done it, as such people should split up and leave so they don't find us.
>>
No. 721906 ID: 38685c

>>721873
If they're on fire why is she the hot one?
>>
No. 725628 ID: defceb
File 146408540428.png - (84.29KB , 501x458 , dun31.png )
725628

""There is no need to fret my dear mobsters,
for the big boss is gone away to be with the monsters,
a magical ring has sent him away,
so can you please give me back my friend to steal another-"

>>
No. 725629 ID: defceb
File 146408546103.png - (116.81KB , 493x625 , dun32.png )
725629

"Hey, it's the Flame Mafia! They must be responsible for the boss disappearing!"

"Let's show them our Magical Gun of Intense Injuries and more often assistant in swiss cheese making!"
>>
No. 725631 ID: defceb
File 146408548181.png - (31.64KB , 628x744 , dun33.png )
725631

Well this can't get worse.
>>
No. 725632 ID: defceb
File 146408549030.png - (77.06KB , 628x744 , dun34.png )
725632

>>
No. 725634 ID: defceb
File 146408587202.png - (121.41KB , 628x744 , dun35.png )
725634

"WHERE IS THE ONE CALLED BARDTOLOMEW, WHO DARED TO ENTER MY KEEP OF COUNTLESS MISERIES and occasionally mild discomforts WHO THEN PROCEEDED TO MAKE A WRECK OF THE PLACE AND TAKE MY TREASURES as well as things I dare not mention in police company!? PRESENT YOURSELF TO FACE THE FULL WRATH OF I, VARSUUVIUS LAVAGUT ASHDRINKER THE 86TH, DESTROYER OF HOMES and collector of extremely shatterable and frail glass penguin statues!!!!"
>>
No. 725638 ID: 619c7c

That one right there, the one with the pointy hat and the fantasy machinegun.
>>
No. 725639 ID: 93244f

Play a song of nope-ing the fuck out.
>>
No. 725642 ID: 7f917c

Seduce the assdrinker with thine hindquarters.
>>
No. 725643 ID: 5009e5

Ok, time to sing that one song about overcoming differences and living in peace and friendship but in a really badass cool way. Put some elbow grease into it because it has to be really inspiring.

You do know the song right
>>
No. 725645 ID: 3d2d5f

>Well this can't get worse.
Look on the upside, the assassin will be very impressed when you get her out of this mess.

>what do
Turn baddies on each other. The look it's the gnomes who robbed you! Look, it's a dragon obviously in league with the flame mafia!

Grab girl and run, again.
>>
No. 725663 ID: c45b7e

>>725634
You are a very convincing bard, I would suggest that you inform the most powerful and benevolent dragon lord that his most HATED of foes, wreckers of things, and bastards in general, are here. NOW. These flame elementals, and gnomes, both are conspirators to steal his horde, and smash is most valued of penguin statuettes.
>>
No. 725664 ID: 665ed8

>>725639
Seconded
>>
No. 725674 ID: 237eb2

Nnnnoooooooope!

"Pardon me, oh fierce Ashdrinker, but I think I might know this villainous stinker, a evil rouge he doth be indeed. But those flame elementals his location and as they share the same evil vocation. So smite them with glee, but please return my elf friend to me?"
>>
No. 727150 ID: 4e9864

>>725634
> WHO THEN PROCEEDED TO MAKE A WRECK OF THE PLACE AND TAKE MY TREASURES as well as things I dare not mention in police company

Did we actually do this?

Because I'd prefer to think that the two of us worked together to make a wreck of the place (while making many memories), we took one treasure of priceless value that she gave up willingly, and we hid those things she dare not mention to encourage her to pursue the real thing instead of a substitute. (But we didn't take those things, because what need would we have for them?)
>>
No. 730494 ID: 3169fd
File 146627974883.jpg - (43.96KB , 650x500 , DUN01.jpg )
730494

You came just in time, o fiery dragon lord
I know where you can find whoever took your hoard.
You see those gnomes there, with the magic guns?
The one that did that is among those ones...


"I SEE. THANK YOU HUMANOID CREATURE WEARING BARDIC ATTIRE. I CAN CLEARLY I CAN TRUST SOMEONE THAT HAS GOOD TASTE IN COLLECTING ARTIFACTS JUST LIKE ME FOR I ALSO HAD A HARP OF DIVINE TUNES. NOW LET ME SET THESE FOOLS ABLAZE AND DESTROY THAT MEDDLING BARDTOLOMEW."

"Have fun!"

I turn to Lilian

"Ruuuuun!"
>>
No. 730495 ID: 3169fd
File 146628006620.jpg - (55.42KB , 800x400 , DUN02.jpg )
730495

"Ok i have to admit that i am impressed. You managed to fool a dragonlord. What did you even do to him?"

"We shall talk about that later.
Do you know how to get out of this crater?
"

"Well, we could try sneaking our way past the HALL OF INCREDIBLY DEGRADING POSTURES and also gift shop or through the SWAMP OF MILDLY DIMSCOMFORT and possibly house of really weird creatures that play the banjo with their feet"

Who the hell named all these places in this dungeon...
>>
No. 730496 ID: a075ba

>we could try sneaking our way past the HALL OF INCREDIBLY DEGRADING POSTURES and also gift shop
A gift shop sounds fun, and with our current partner, the hall of incredibly degrading postures could be really fun.
>>
No. 730502 ID: 502d35

We must avoid anything that might try to play the banjo at us because we are a bard, and those things are basically our antithesis. HALL OF INCREDIBLY DEGRADING POSTURES it is.
>>
No. 730528 ID: 97d6f1

The banjo players might lead to a bard-off but if we head to the hall/gift shop we might find some more suitable rougue atire for Lilian besides stripper bikini (although there is certain nothing wrong with holding onto the bikini for later use)
>>
No. 730532 ID: 398fe1

Degrading postures.
>>
No. 730566 ID: 9fdb37

Well, it's not like you're a stranger to degrading postures...I think it would be best to avoid banjo-wielding creatures for the sake of your bardic inclinations.
>>
No. 733350 ID: defceb
File 146753224138.png - (66.79KB , 398x447 , dun001.png )
733350

"For the safety of us all
I declare we leave for the hall!
"

"Be prepared to face dangers including but not limited to..."
>>
No. 733351 ID: defceb
File 146753231499.png - (145.00KB , 630x418 , dun002.png )
733351

THE HALLWAY of HOMOEROTIC TENSIONS and/or hetero we don't judge !!!
>>
No. 733352 ID: defceb
File 146753236245.png - (178.31KB , 761x491 , dun003.png )
733352

THE POOL OF POLYAMORY and questionable health standards !!!
>>
No. 733353 ID: defceb
File 146753242206.png - (243.21KB , 875x623 , dun005.png )
733353

THE FESTIVALGROUNDS OF STRANGE AND OBSCURE FETISHES and also the site of next year's Woodstock festival !!!
>>
No. 733354 ID: defceb
File 146753246392.png - (61.97KB , 368x346 , dun006.png )
733354

"15 dollars per photo."

AND THE GIFTSHOP OF UNUSUALLY HIGH PRICES APPARENTLY like seriously what gives !!!
>>
No. 733364 ID: b84dde

Wut... Penelope? When did you get here? And... Who's the Orc guy? New party members?

What the shit just happened? I mean I'm glad the hall wasn't dangerous or anything but... Seriously? What was that?

Oh well, besides overpriced photos (fucking ripoff artists) does the gift shop have anything of rouge/assassin atire for Lilian to wear?
>>
No. 733392 ID: d6fede

Burn down THE GIFTSHOP OF UNUSUALLY HIGH PRICES APPARENTLY. All evidence that we took part in these degrading postures must be destroyed if we ever decide we want to begin a political career someday.
>>
No. 733397 ID: c441c1

>>733392
Burn it down! show the dungeon your displeasure with it not giving you shinies then charging you for things.
>>
No. 733408 ID: a075ba

>>733354
Use bardly charm to haggle down the price of the photograph!

...when that doesn't work, the assassin should just steal them while the clerk is distracted by you trying to charm him with song.

Then, yes, dragon princess should burn the place down on principle.

(Pose as a team with the burning building in the background).
>>
No. 736193 ID: f75a70
File 146869570663.jpg - (63.02KB , 740x430 , DUN01.jpg )
736193

I really love the smell of price negotiation in the morning.

or evening.

or afternoon? it's difficult to tell in this dungeon...
>>
No. 736194 ID: f75a70
File 146869598967.jpg - (109.70KB , 1075x490 , DUN02.jpg )
736194

By the way, handsome orc with barely no clothes
for all these experiences have brought us close
do you wish to join our little merry band
and get out from this cave into a better land?


"Yeah sure, you kinda burnt down my workplace. Got nothing better to do."
>>
No. 736195 ID: f75a70
File 146869603020.jpg - (40.52KB , 740x335 , DUN03.jpg )
736195

Input name!
>>
No. 736197 ID: 9f3729

>>736195
Chad Warden
>>
No. 736198 ID: 2e2d71

>>736195
Beefcake the seamstress. Seamster?
>>
No. 736202 ID: 08ed3a

>>736195
Gotrik Beefcake, most handsome Orc and professional barbarian
>>
No. 736203 ID: 08ed3a

And seriously, Penelope where did you come from? (Not that I'm complaining mind)
>>
No. 736204 ID: 786a43

Jerry

Professional cosplayer
>>
No. 736232 ID: 9fdb37

Fabio Fairhair, pop idol.
>>
No. 736233 ID: c45b7e

>>736195
Origolo G. Asm, the Gigolo...and part time singer, Orc with the golden voice.
>>
No. 736258 ID: 358228

Hm, 8 then 6...
Hurghnut, most handsome Ork in existence (and professional welder!)
>>
No. 736396 ID: 77df36

>>736197
>>
No. 736444 ID: edb827

>>736203
Is Penelope running off to join our new party?
Do we need to change her name too?
>>
No. 736447 ID: 2e2d71

>>736203
We ran into Penelope at THE POOL OF POLYAMORY and questionable health standards during the montage and she hung around. Exactly the same way we picked up the handsome orc, except he was at THE HALLWAY of HOMOEROTIC TENSIONS and/or hetero we don't judge.

I mean, it's not like she can't leave the house, especially if Dad's out and distracted burning down mafias.

...although the next time we run into dragon-daddy he's probably going to be looking for whoever "kidnapped" his daughter.
>>
No. 736452 ID: b439eb

>>736195
Pump operator.

he was raised by dwarves
>>
No. 736488 ID: a39b7c

Sir Loin 'Slab' of Beefcake
Professional Pose Master and Fabulousater
>>
No. 739244 ID: defceb
File 146976829758.png - (173.11KB , 651x634 , dun007.png )
739244

[b]Gotrik Beefcake, Most Handsome Orc in Existence[b] and Professional Fabulousater JOINS THE PARTY!

"Penelope, if you would please whisper into my ear
How exactly did you end up out here?"


"Well, you see..."
>>
No. 739245 ID: defceb
File 146976837061.png - (142.33KB , 658x621 , dun008.png )
739245

PREVIOUSLY

"Time for my favorite pass-time, reading steamy erotica with other dexterous pursuits!"
>>
No. 739246 ID: defceb
File 146976839239.png - (107.95KB , 658x621 , dun009.png )
739246

"Oh no, a plot hole!"
>>
No. 739247 ID: defceb
File 146976852809.png - (103.57KB , 809x276 , dun010.png )
739247

NOW

"...and that's how I got here!"

>Is Penelope running off to join our new party?
"Looks like it!'

>Do we need to change her name too?
"But I already have a name!"

"Unfortunately for all of us in this position
At this point it's practically tradition."

>>
No. 739248 ID: 24100f

>>739247
As Chrono Trigger and FF9 taught us, you don't actually have to change anything when screens tell you to rename characters.

Penelope: professional heiress and erotica connoisseur.
>>
No. 739257 ID: 91ee5f

>>739248
Agreed.
>>
No. 739260 ID: ffd5f6

>>739248
done
>>
No. 739276 ID: 67d5dc

Spell it wrong
>>
No. 739278 ID: 398fe1

>>739276
Pennelope.
>>
No. 739287 ID: 4e9864

>>739248
This.
>>
No. 739288 ID: db0da2

>>739276
yes
>>
No. 739298 ID: 9fdb37

>>739248
Can we change heiress into fanfic writer?
>>
No. 739341 ID: 358228

Sorry Penelope, there isn't enough space for your name.

PENELO
Professional Dungeoneer
(And em-dash connoisseur)
>>
No. 739420 ID: d1fde2

keep it penelope, but pronounce it like antelope
>>
No. 740714 ID: 1a91e3
File 147051260676.jpg - (80.05KB , 800x405 , DUN01.jpg )
740714

And so P3...

"No we are not doing that"

Awww.

Penelope joins the party!

AND BOY! IT IS AN ACTUAL PARTY! Almost a real adventuring party!

Things are only going to go up from here forward i am sure of it.

"STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!"
>>
No. 740715 ID: 1a91e3
File 147051272032.jpg - (76.28KB , 800x510 , DUN02.jpg )
740715

"YOUR REIGN OF TERROR, MISCHIEF (AND ABSOLUTE DECADENT LIFESTYLE) IS AT AN END! SURRENDER NOW TO THE GOLEM POLICE PATROL FOR CRIMES AGAINST THIS DUNGEON PROPERTY (AND INHABITANTS)!!!"
>>
No. 740727 ID: 399475

... Okay first of all, you guys are the biggest waste of money a BBEG can spend on their dungeon as other minions will most likely be out to kill any adventurers that set foot in here. Secondly, and as a means of congratulations on catching me! SURPRISE DANCE PARTY!

"Let's all folk Dance!
Places all.
Bow to your corner,
bow to your own.

Three hands up and round you go,
break it up with a dosey do.
Chicken in the bread pan kickin' out dough.
Skip Along, my darling!

The ladies out, you pretty little things,
promenade around the ring.
Big foot up and little foot down,
make that big foot jar the ground.

Ladies step back and two gents in,
back you go and forward again.
Step right up with an elbow swing.
Skip Along, my darling.

Allemande left with the old left hand,
follow through with a right-left grand.
Meet your partner with a great big smile,
promenade elven style.

*all party members stop dancing*

Promenade across the floor,
sashay right on out the door.
Out the door and into the halls,
and everybody promenade.

Step right up, you're doing fine,
I'll pull your hat you pull mine.
Yank it again like you did before,
break it up with a tug o'war.

Now into the lava and swim about,
dive right in and swim with gout.
Gout gout ugly old gout,
one more splash and come right out.

Shake like a hound dog, shake again,
wallow around in the ol' boar pen.
Wallow some more, y'all know how,
roll around like a dire sow.

Allemande left with your left hand,
follow through with a right-left grand.
Now leave your partner, the dirty ol' thing,
follow through with an elbow swing.

Grab a fence post, hold it tight,
womp your partner with all your might.
Hit him in the chin, hit him in the head,
hit him again, that Gollum ain't dead.

Womp him low and womp him high,
stick your finger in his eye.
Pretty little rhythm, pretty little sound,
bang your heads against the ground.

Promenade all around the room,
promenade like a bride and groom.
Open up gate the and step right through,
close the door and go on, shoe!

Crash, crash, break and smash
Flop around like a piece of trash
Now don't you cuss and don't you swear,
just come right out and form a square.

Now right hand over and left hand under,
both join hands and run like thunder.
Through the dungeon and into nothin'
Look at you break now ain't that sumthin'

Don't you stray and don't you roam,
turn around and promenade home.
broken springs and broken gears,
turn your partner and cry your tears.

And now you're home.
Bow to your partner.
Bow to the cop across the hall.
And that is all!"
>>
No. 740735 ID: dc7870

>>740715
Tell them to bugger off.
>>
No. 740744 ID: c290d1

>>740727
>Looney Tunes
I approve immensely, and support this suggestion!
>>
No. 740782 ID: 24100f

>>740715
The party has a majority composition of dungeon inhabitants. Of course they're entitled to dungeon property and interacting with other inhabitants, who else would?
>>
No. 742076 ID: defceb
File 147114970950.png - (122.36KB , 777x484 , dun011.png )
742076

"SURPRISE DANCE PARTY!"
>>
No. 742078 ID: defceb
File 147114973192.png - (126.70KB , 714x453 , dun012.png )
742078

"Let's all folk Dance!
Places all.
Bow to your corner,
bow to your own.

Three hands up and round you go,
break it up with a dosey do.
Chicken in the bread pan kickin' out dough.
Skip Along, my darling!

The ladies out, you pretty little things,
promenade around the ring.
Big foot up and little foot down,
make that big foot jar the ground.

Ladies step back and two gents in,
back you go and forward again.
Step right up with an elbow swing.
Skip Along, my darling.

Allemande left with the old left hand,
follow through with a right-left grand.
Meet your partner with a great big smile,
promenade elven style.

>>
No. 742079 ID: defceb
File 147114976851.png - (235.00KB , 949x462 , dun013.png )
742079

"Promenade across the floor,
sashay right on out the door.
Out the door and into the halls,
and everybody promenade.

Step right up, you're doing fine,
I'll pull your hat you pull mine.
Yank it again like you did before,
break it up with a tug o'war."

>>
No. 742080 ID: defceb
File 147114980152.png - (106.39KB , 500x557 , dun14.png )
742080

"Now into the lava and swim about,
dive right in and swim with gout.
Gout gout ugly old gout,
one more splash and come right out.

Shake like a hound dog, shake again,
wallow around in the ol' boar pen.
Wallow some more, y'all know how,
roll around like a dire sow.

Allemande left with your left hand,
follow through with a right-left grand.
Now leave your partner, the dirty ol' thing,
follow through with an elbow swing."

>>
No. 742081 ID: defceb
File 147114989528.png - (100.84KB , 502x657 , dun015.png )
742081

SLAM!

"This isn't good! If the Golem Police Patrol and local firemen's brigade are after us, then that can only mean we've earned the ire of..."
>>
No. 742082 ID: defceb
File 147115000655.png - (272.20KB , 710x758 , dun016.png )
742082

"The Dungeon Monitor!!"

Distant dramatic music cues echo from down the hall, punctuated by even more distant evil and a little unsettling laughter.
>>
No. 742083 ID: 38685c

>>742082
We have a bigger problem: you just killed the fireman's brigade. Near lava.

The dungeon is going to burn down.
>>
No. 742116 ID: 91ee5f

>Distant dramatic music cues echo from down the hall
Hey! Who the fuck did that?! Bardtolomew is the only one who's allowed to do that cause he's a bard! And you are also a bard, then fuck you still! There's only room for one bard in this dungeon and that's Bardtolomew! There's only one way to settle this! We have a bard off! You vs Bardtolomew! Come on, bring it!
>>
No. 742177 ID: 5b1709

Then we have to locate the Dungeon Monitor while he's likely relaxed and unprepared. If he's a huge nerd then we simply have to look into any Cons that will be running in the dungeon soon and show up in Cospl-I mean disguise.
>>
No. 742180 ID: c441c1

If he is a huge nerd we can just distract him with P3's erotica.
>>
No. 742184 ID: 3abd97

>>742082
Is the Dungeon Monitor... bardable?
>>
No. 742703 ID: 2eeb65

If he's a huge nerd, what exactly are his nerdy interests? Anime? LARPing? Ponies? Or dare I say, traditional games?
>>
No. 745659 ID: 48d9e6
File 147281611591.jpg - (48.78KB , 640x380 , DUN01.jpg )
745659

Penelope: "The dungeon Monitor? Even my dad is scared of that person."

GotriK: "Yeah we need to be careful."

Penelope: "But if DM is a huge nerd, maybe we can trick them? There is a huge erotic and artistic stories convention. Dad never let me go there, but it sounds like a good place to either lose the Monitor or fight on even ground."

Gotrik: "Could work... Hey Bardtolomew, you've been actually silent. What's wrong?"

"Have you all heard that music few moments ago?
There are no speakers in this dungeon, that i know.
"

Gotrik: "Yeah. You are right. So?"

"It means we should all be on guard..."
>>
No. 745660 ID: 48d9e6
File 147281616650.jpg - (78.88KB , 600x600 , DUN02.jpg )
745660

"THIS MUST BE THE WORK OF AN ENEMY BARD!"
>>
No. 745661 ID: 48d9e6
File 147281633585.jpg - (77.06KB , 750x600 , DUN03.jpg )
745661

DG: "YAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAKYAK! YOU ARE NOT AS CLUELESS AS YOU LOOK THEN!"

The enemy showed himself"

DG: "TREMBLE IN MY PRESENCE, FOR I AM DAVE GROWL, SERVANT OF THE DUNGEON MONITOR AND I WILL BE THE LAST THING YOU LISTEN TO BEFORE YOU DIEEEE!!!"
>>
No. 745662 ID: 3663d3

the fool, there is only one of him while you have... A BAND! summon instruments.
>>
No. 745664 ID: c45b7e

>>745661
Fuuuuuuuu-UUuuuuuuuK! in harmony of course.
>>
No. 745665 ID: 9f3729

>>745661
Dude, fuck that, collab?
>>
No. 745672 ID: 2a7417

Hey Growl! What do you call a person who hangs out with real bards?

A drummer!
>>
No. 745675 ID: 8a3061

you must immediately summon Neal Peart
>>
No. 745677 ID: 352264

Ha, He comes before us and uses a slant rhyme for his first impression. He is no bard but a charlatan. We came from above to spread our love, but now that we're here his skin we will sear.
>>
No. 745701 ID: 726a91

>>745661
Point out that he should have picked the more thematically appropriate 'Aleister Growley' as a stage name.
>>
No. 745782 ID: 3abd97

>>745662
This is the best option.
>>
No. 751575 ID: defceb
File 147573046935.png - (235.41KB , 750x556 , dun017.png )
751575

"This is a poor time for you to make a final stand,
You came by yourself but I have a band!"

>>
No. 751576 ID: defceb
File 147573050596.png - (115.72KB , 454x540 , dun018.png )
751576

"I... don't actually know how to play this thing, Bardtolomew."
>>
No. 751577 ID: 398fe1

>>751576
It's fine just wing it. Play random notes, just thrash those strings. We'll call it "experimental" music. Or "noise".
>>
No. 751580 ID: 6c25ef

>>751576
That's not the point. The point is looking cool.
>>
No. 751586 ID: 9f3729

>>751576
Bard aura imbues basic musical talent on all who surround me. Basic skill, only stupid bards don't get it!
>>
No. 751587 ID: 180f83

Just slam and destroy your guitar on the floor. the fans will love it.
>>
No. 751589 ID: 37f049

Just play the first thing that comes to your head,
It might just so happen to be,
The best song in the world,
The Best Song in the Wooorld!
>>
No. 751600 ID: 3583d1
 

>>745672
Perfect! And now that'a settled...
"If you wish to battle with sound, I think with what's most profound.
The harmony of gods are with me this day, so come now villain, LET US PLAY!"
>>
No. 751601 ID: 3583d1

>>751600
(Shit that didn't work, here's the link https://www.youtube.com/rdiKAa0_Ay4 )
>>
No. 751604 ID: e850b4

Oh, that's just adorable. This is metal no knowing anything is required. I mean, we can literally replace all the singing with guttural grunting and they'll just eat it up as hardcore.
>>
No. 751605 ID: 997a70

>>751601
Page doesn't exist.
>>
No. 751626 ID: 299d84

You're a dragon, of course you can the heat
>>
No. 754670 ID: 249553
File 147716293465.jpg - (81.06KB , 750x450 , DUN01.jpg )
754670

"Don't worry about it! Metal is all about looking brutal cool
Hopefully my bardic aura will hel and not make me look like a fool!"


...


Ok note to self.

Bardic Aura doesn't grant miracles.
>>
No. 754671 ID: 249553
File 147716309079.jpg - (55.00KB , 750x450 , DUN02.jpg )
754671

DG : "Wow... That..."

DG : "That was embarassingly bad..."

"Well we..."

DG : "I mean it. Wow... I feel sorry for you guys... And i'm a fucking demon!"

"Moved to pity by our flow,
Does that mean you'll let us go?
"
>>
No. 754672 ID: 249553
File 147716325263.jpg - (76.70KB , 800x570 , DUN03.jpg )
754672

DG : "YEAH NO FAT CHANCE! DUNGEON MONITOR'S ORDERS!"

DG : "DON'T WORRY! I'LL KILL YOU AS FAST AND BRUTALLY AS POSSIBLE!!! YAKYAKYAKYAK!!!"

Oh no! This beat! This power! This beastial Drum Solo!

I must think fast or we are toasted!

Probably litterally toasted!
>>
No. 754673 ID: c441c1

then we must toast him first. Deploy the fire breath on his drums.
>>
No. 754674 ID: 3663d3

just shoot him.
>>
No. 754678 ID: d0a9a0

>>754672

With hair so long
And beats so strong
Did you ever, perchance
Fear a passing flame
For, to be clear, if you haven't
Perchance you might just think again

Puncture his drums. Set his beard and drumsticks on fire. Melt his tamborines.
>>
No. 754679 ID: 35c0cb

Quickly, we have to cool his hot heart with a cool island song before it's too late.
>>
No. 754680 ID: 71d443

Elfsassin, do the drum thing again. To his set this time.
>>
No. 754687 ID: 8715cf

Use sleep-song! Everyone, clover your ears! ITS NAP TIME!

"Hush a bye birdie, croon, croon,
Hush a bye birdie, croon.
The sheep are gone to the silver wood,
And the cows are gone to the broom, broom.
And it’s braw, milking the caw, caw,
Braw milking the caw,
The birds are singing, the bells are ringing,
The wild deer galloping by, by.
Hush a bye birdie, croon, croon,
Hush a bye birdie, croon.
The goats are gone to the mountain high,
And they’ll not be home till noon, noon.
Hush a bye birdie, croon, croon,
Hush a bye birdie, croon.
The sheep are gone to the silver wood,
And the cows are gone to the broom, broom.
Hush a bye birdie, croon, croon,
Hush a bye birdie, croon.
Hushabye."
>>
No. 754755 ID: 3abd97

>>754673
>>754674
Jobs for both Lillian and Penelope.
>>
No. 760284 ID: defceb
File 147961711805.png - (184.93KB , 596x586 , dun019.png )
760284

>Elfsassin, do the drum thing again. To his set this time.
>>
No. 760285 ID: defceb
File 147961721492.png - (144.61KB , 540x488 , dun020.png )
760285

DAVE GROWL is defeated! and hospitalized.
>>
No. 760286 ID: 3abd97

>>760285
...don't feel bed guys, that was totally metal. It's how he would have wanted to go!
>>
No. 760300 ID: 9876c4

Brütal.
>>
No. 760332 ID: 987a1a

Okay! Great job Lilian! Moving right along!
>>
No. 760364 ID: 910380

Continue on your path to the Dungeon Monitor while awaiting the next sequentially more powerful minion to challenge you.
>>
No. 769532 ID: 1db7dd
File 148329310598.jpg - (59.45KB , 550x550 , DUN01.jpg )
769532

Well this calls for a celebratory song.

"In the hospital he shall remain
Until his balls are healed again!"

>>
No. 769534 ID: 1db7dd
File 148329360676.jpg - (76.46KB , 800x450 , DUN02.jpg )
769534

>Continue on your path to the Dungeon Monitor while awaiting the next sequentially more powerful minion to challenge you.

"Well! Shall we go now?
I'd prefer not become dungeon Chow.
Let us fret to the convention
So we can avoid further detention
"

Gotrik: "Actually we might have bigger problems. That was only the first of the Monitor's servants. We might have to face more."

Penelope: "He's right. The pamplet Growl left says that they are going to come looking for us one by one. Such are the rules of the Dungeon of Eternal Torment (and occasionally blind playthroughs)..."

"That was honestly a dreadful experience i'd like to not repeat
I'd prefer to find a way that could allow us to not compete...
"

Gotrik: "Same for me. I'm too beautiful to risk getting wounded."
>>
No. 769535 ID: 1db7dd
File 148329381373.jpg - (54.80KB , 700x450 , DUN03.jpg )
769535

Gotrik: "Maybe i have an idea"

Penelope: "And what is it?"

Gotrik: "Well the convention has a costume battle..."

Lilian: "Don't you dare say what i think you are going to say"

Gotrik: "We can sneak in with a bunch of costumes and go undetected while looking for an exit. Or the Monitor..."

Lilian: "Fuck youuuuuuuuuu"

Gotrik: "All we need is to figure out what we should dress up as"
>>
No. 769537 ID: 9145ba

You're a party of adventurers. You're already in kooky getups, what more do you need?
>>
No. 769561 ID: 595d54

>>769537
Uhhhhhhh, maybe not to be recognized.

Let's dress up as pirates and make booty jokes.
>>
No. 769574 ID: 7e1ea2

>>769561
Yarrrr!!!

You forgot Seaman joke as well matey! Yes, nothing but Sperm Whales and Sea-men, oh look a swallow!
>>
No. 769697 ID: 7d8168

Guys... We're on /quest/. We're a party of adventurers. We want to dress up in costume.

There are lots of quests about parties of adventurers we could dress up as, e.g. Mudy Quest. Let's get meta.
>>
No. 769734 ID: 91ee5f

That plan won't work because it would require Bardtolomew to stop talking in rhyme so that no one will identify him. But he's not going to do that because he's a bard and bards never stop talking in rhyme.
>>
No. 769738 ID: 3abd97

>Gotrik: "All we need is to figure out what we should dress up as"
Dress up as characters from different quests. It's the perfect disguise!
>>
No. 769742 ID: 0d6c82

>>769734
Well then he will have to dress up as another bard. Maybe some sort of kobold bard?
>>
No. 782157 ID: defceb
File 148780840564.png - (132.90KB , 662x511 , dun021.png )
782157

"So you're cosplaying as the cast of the well known piece of erotic fiction, Monster Humper?"

"For an impeccable quest
We are dressed to impress!"


"Well then go right on in I guess- HEY HOLD ON!"
>>
No. 782158 ID: defceb
File 148780852785.png - (96.89KB , 665x381 , dun022.png )
782158

"Did you just rhyme!?"

"I dare say no
For I do not believe it to be so."


"Did you just rhyme again!?"

"Oh mercy me
I swear I'm talking quite normally!"


"You're not some bard in disguise trying to get his rag-tag group of random adventurers and debatably ne'er-do-wells past security, are you?"
>>
No. 782161 ID: fe9b88

I hope I don't sound like a prick
But it's simply a nervous tick
I've kept as a child
It's actually quite mild
Now please open these doors up, Rick.
>>
No. 782162 ID: dd4df2

>>782158

"Who would even dare? The guards are much to wise and sly.

...I fear."
>>
No. 782176 ID: 3abd97

Kick your party members, get them to say something non-rhyming.

Or you need to switch to some more obscure rhyming scheme the guard won't notice you're still rhyming. You don't have to stick to AA BB CC... do you?
>>
No. 782218 ID: 9f3729

Quick, start funneling your poetry into haikus! He won't be able to penetrate obscure weeb stanzas!
>>
No. 782249 ID: acaa4f

>>782218
I am sorry sir
You are surely mistaken
So please let us in
>>
No. 782334 ID: a363ac

>>782158
Quick use your bardic tongue to silence her into submission!
>>
No. 784140 ID: fc7c78
File 148846846728.jpg - (47.69KB , 540x600 , DUN01.jpg )
784140

"SO?"

"I am sorry sir
You are surely mistaken
So please let us in
"

"That sounded like an haiku to me, pal"

Oh for pan sake!

Plan K!
>>
No. 784141 ID: fc7c78
File 148846880528.jpg - (43.59KB , 540x540 , DUN02.jpg )
784141

And that's taken care of!

Plan K always almost work!

And now that we are inside we can sneak around, no one will recognize us with this perfect costumes.

???: "SNORT Nice costumes"
>>
No. 784142 ID: fc7c78
File 148846893598.jpg - (64.43KB , 600x500 , DUN03.jpg )
784142

Some nerd: "But the hue of the actual mantle is at SNORT least two tones darker. A real fan would SNORT know!"
>>
No. 784143 ID: 0d1514

>>784142
Stab them
>>
No. 784145 ID: 67456a

>>784143
Seconded
>>
No. 784146 ID: a523fb

>>784143
>>784145
Stab them and steal their Bika bodypillow
>>
No. 784149 ID: 595d54

>>784142
You see, it's that way in the books, you read them all/instead of watching the series on a crystal ball.
>>
No. 784151 ID: bb8aba

He has called your nerd cred into question. We have no choice but to retaliate, or you might be ostracized from the herd. We'll never get next to our mark then, but we must retaliate as a nerd would to keep our cover. We must insult his tastes in nerd memorabilia. Quick call the character on the body pillow an overhyped piece of trash that no self-respecting man would ever call his waifu.
>>
No. 784165 ID: 0555b9

>>784151
As much as it pains me, I second this action. Say that skut waifus are a dime a dozen.
>>
No. 784171 ID: dce082

And any REAL fan would know that those two tones of darkness are because of Monster Humper's erotic aura, one that I am unfortunately lacking as of now, there was an entire sentence about it in the book the creator of the series wrote about what it was like writing for that series!
>>
No. 784181 ID: d79f26

"your waifu a shit"
>>
No. 784228 ID: 9876c4

Trip him, bind him, and stuff him in his smelly pillowcase.
>>
No. 784808 ID: 0f8ac0

Is that possibly the Dungeon Monitor...? Ask him if that is a limited edition Steve headband. There's no reason you shouldn't suck up to this guy either way. Allies are more useful than enemies.
>>
No. 784812 ID: 3abd97

>>784142
It's a black and white production. The helm shouldn't be darker at all, it should be the same tone of white as the background.

Or are you telling me you're not a purist who sticks to the original canon and that you're one of those philistines who accepts the expanded universe crap?
>>
No. 784818 ID: 398fe1

>>784142
Your waifu is a remorseless criminal.
>>
No. 787641 ID: defceb
File 148962508454.png - (180.98KB , 744x568 , dun023.png )
787641

>He has called your nerd cred into question. We have no choice but to retaliate, or you might be ostracized from the herd.
Oh no! I must act fast!

"I see you like skuts
which are most base and common
your mind must have been in a rut
to even stoop so base a brahmin

You're into a criminal
who'se frankly a dime a dozen
they have no merits subliminal
you may as well be into your cousin

what's worse is that you didn't even know
the suit was filmed in black and white
with tones later added for the erotic glow
and who but monster humper himself would have such great might?

So basically I am saying
Is that you are full of it
and this truth I'm displaying
Your waifu a shit"

>>
No. 787642 ID: defceb
File 148962510951.png - (96.44KB , 538x449 , dun024.png )
787642

"A bardic rhyme!? T-that's...!!!"
>>
No. 787643 ID: defceb
File 148962513337.png - (123.87KB , 538x449 , dun025.png )
787643

"THAT'S/...!?!?!?!?"
>>
No. 787644 ID: defceb
File 148962520032.png - (189.80KB , 538x449 , dun026.png )
787644

"AGAINST THE RULES! rrrraaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"
>>
No. 787647 ID: defceb
File 148962536621.png - (703.21KB , 1800x1800 , dun027.png )
787647

"You think you can bring your bardic powers against me, the Dungeon Monitor enraged form, True Ultimate Final Boss of the Dungeon of Eternal Torment and occasionally priceless treasures but also nerd conventions and tiny glass penguin collections and also Affectionate Erotica Afficionado but sometimes science fiction author!?"
>>
No. 787648 ID: defceb
File 148962539529.png - (206.26KB , 1962x847 , dun028.png )
787648

Guys that health bar just keeps going

Help
>>
No. 787650 ID: 70983e

Yes, because all of your weapons have been replaced with orange-tipped styrofoam replicas as per convention regulations! Ha ha! You are powerless in your own domain, while these sharp riffs can't be dulled!

Use your ultimate ability: Boss Fight Soundtrack!
>>
No. 787651 ID: 595d54

Just ignore it and go in. He's not allowed to do anything during his transformation sequence, that's how they work, and the transformation isn't over until his health bar is done loading. He'll be stuck there way too long to do anything.
>>
No. 787652 ID: 595d54

>>787651
Excuse me, she's*.
>>
No. 787654 ID: e934d1

That health bar is so high we might be able to Mystic Quest him. Heal him, if the battle system is poorly designed enough his health might exceed the maximum integer value and overflow into a much smaller number. Wait, I can't remember if we even have a healer in the party.
>>
No. 787655 ID: eb4b36

Zoom out so the health bar is smaller.
>>
No. 787656 ID: 3abd97

>>787648
A hypermaxed hp bar.

She's made the classic blunder!

Use bard magic to cast a level 1 healing spell on her. Integer overflow will make her health roll over to negative billion or so, taking her out in one shot.
>>
No. 787664 ID: 5391fc

Wait a minute... WAIT A MINUTE!!!

I see titties... THE DUNGEON MONITOR IS A WOMAN!!
And she looks to be part dragon! And if she really is this huge of a nerd... oh my gods... VIRGIN DRAGON PUSSY 2X!!!!

Seduce her! But we'll need to go beyond just regular over maxed seduction, we must go further beyond... 4X TEAM OVER CHARGED SEDUCE!!!!
>>
No. 787673 ID: a363ac

>>787648
Tell your teammates to hold her off for 5 minutes while you gather your power for the ultimate Bardic skill of Seduction.
>>
No. 787678 ID: 76df5c

This' some problem sleuth bs

By dungeon games' right
Any boss must be beatable
We shall give her a fight
Despite even our meek level

And to rally our cause,
By an epic refrain
We shall strike up a chord
And cause her much pain.

But our foe must be less stronger
We need a dragon's favour
Penelope call your father
And spare us hopeless labour

(just enough to make the fight fair, for narrative purposes)
>>
No. 787682 ID: 91ee5f

>>787648
>Health bar
Wait, I know what's going on! She's a nerd, so she's obviously using hacks! There's only one way to beat her!

Dramatically point at her and shout, "HAAAAX!!!!!" and then a computer monitor will come flying outta nowhere and hit her in the face! This attack always one shots hackers!
>>
No. 787742 ID: 5064fe

Sleep! Hideous Laughter! Charm! Uh, um... Frog Song? I bet she's weak versus status effects!
>>
No. 787750 ID: f97b68

>>787682

There is only one man that can do that and you know it.
>>
No. 787860 ID: 2ccee9

>>787644
"If it's against the rules, why did you hire a bard earlier you cheater."
>>
No. 787917 ID: c45b7e

>>787678
Beat her with her own health bar. A thing that large must pack quite the wallop.
>>
No. 788000 ID: 144af2

>>787917
This sounds like an excellent idea. What could go wrong?
>>
No. 788004 ID: c31aac

>>787648
Grab her health bar and whack her with it
>>
No. 797901 ID: a100c1
File 149312499513.jpg - (70.63KB , 750x550 , DUN01.jpg )
797901

Hah! Who truly is the fool here?

I'll bash her head with her own hp bar while she still transform.

If only this thing didn't weight tons!

"Friends! I have the strenght of a whelp.
Come here and give me your help!"
>>
No. 797902 ID: a100c1
File 149312506168.jpg - (55.29KB , 800x475 , DUN02.jpg )
797902

Gotrik: "We are with you! In spirit! Good luck buddy!"

Penelope: "You can do it!"

COWARDS!
>>
No. 797904 ID: a100c1
File 149312536909.jpg - (70.11KB , 600x600 , DUN03.jpg )
797904

DUNGEON MONITOR: "NOW! BEFORE I END YOU... DO YOU HAVE ANY LAST WORDS, BARD?"

"Uhm... yes i do!
right before i have to say adieu!
I don't know how to make this part sweeter
but you, my dear...

are a cheater!
"
>>
No. 797905 ID: a100c1
File 149312564879.jpg - (75.65KB , 750x550 , DUN04.jpg )
797905

DUNGEON MONITOR: "WHA-WHAT?! N-no i'm not!!!"

"You said we bards are against the rules.
And yet i'm not the king of fools!
The one you sent to attack us as your vanguard,
He clearly was, my dear... A BARD!
"

Penelope: "He's right! They even had a bard off!"

DUNGEON MONITOR: "TH-THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING! S-SHUT UP!!! I-I AM "THE DUNGEON MONITOR! I C-CAN TOTALLY DO THAT!"
>>
No. 797915 ID: 3583d1

>>797905
INCORRECT! No one wants to follow a leader that is a dirty cheater!

SHAME ON YOU!
>>
No. 797931 ID: 2afc9c

>>797905
Accuse her of hypocrisy.

Then tell her that she doesn't need to resort to such tactics. She's good enough without them. Challenge her to face us on a truly level playing field.

Then seduce her.
>>
No. 797946 ID: a363ac

>>797905
I am willing to overlook such cheatery if you would allow me to pick the format in which our final duel will take place.
>>
No. 797980 ID: 3abd97

>>797905
Doing things no one else can do because you're the DM? Isn't that the very essence of cheating.

Still think we should cast the weakest possible healing spell on here and defeat her by her hp bar rolling over.

>seduce her
Come on, even bards need standards.
>>
No. 797985 ID: 70983e

I'll never tell your indiscretion

If I can snuggle your midsection.
>>
No. 797994 ID: 4e9900

Why are you even here as a boss? I mean you're the Dungeon Monitor, not the Dungeon Massacrer.
>>
No. 797996 ID: ee2f87

>>797946
Smart!

And then the format can be a lewd seduce-off.
>>
No. 798016 ID: a363ac

>>797996
Personally I was thinking a lewd kiss off till one gives up but it is important to hide the battle till she agrees to do it.
>>
No. 802864 ID: efc9ab
File 149517493629.png - (124.63KB , 615x456 , dun029.png )
802864

>Seduce her.
How could I even not flirt with a woman carrying bounteous masses.

>Come on, even bards need standards.
Standards are for lesser classes.

I'll never tell your indiscretion
If I can snuggle your midsection.


"No."

"Then I won't tell a soul that you're a filthy cheater
If I could choose the format for competition
Instead of making a straight beater
We could have a sportsmanly exhibition."

>>
No. 802865 ID: efc9ab
File 149517514764.png - (113.73KB , 638x464 , dun030.png )
802865

"This sounds like the pretext to a clever trap!"

"Trying to get one by you would be a terrible mishap."

"Very well! Name your game, bard."

"Picking a format against you will not be very hard.
In fact I am already prepared
To stand up and declare...!"

>>
No. 802871 ID: 4bfce0

"An end to pointless warfare,
What I declare, here is it's name,
A skill of gods, 'The oldest game!'"
>>
No. 802877 ID: 3583d1

That her Satsuki Kiriyuin cosplay makes excellent battle armor and is quite fetching and very fitting on such a lady of power like herself.
when seducing otaku you gotta do it right
>>
No. 802881 ID: 2016eb

>>802871
Oh, man when did we last play the oldest game? Hot dang yes.
>>
No. 802909 ID: 3d2d5f

Sexual combat?

Or harem battle! You party of attractive companions is more than a match for any she could muster!
>>
No. 802913 ID: f08985

>>802871
Damn straight.
>>
No. 803089 ID: a363ac

>>802871
The oldest game! then we keep listing off lewd things!
>>
No. 803453 ID: c45b7e

>>802865
>To stand up and declare...!"
....A game of jousting into your derriere.
>>
No. 803472 ID: e2d226

>>802871
Is this supposed to reference the supposed "oldest profession"? If yes, I support the action.
>>
No. 813900 ID: b25200
File 149952214513.jpg - (38.56KB , 750x500 , DUNGEON01.jpg )
813900

Penelope: "Challenge her to an harem du..."

DUNGEON MONITOR: "YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW PENNY!"

Penelope: "Eeehh..."

DUNGEON MONITOR: "NO LEWDING!"

"Then what I declare, here is it's name,
A skill of gods, 'The oldest game!'"

>>
No. 813901 ID: b25200
File 149952247309.jpg - (66.81KB , 600x600 , DUNGEON02.jpg )
813901

DUNGEON MONITOR: "Like in Mudy Quest? Going for the classics i see! Then it's settled.
The rules are simple: each person simply states what they are, and the other person then has to 'become' something to counter that thing.
Person 1: I am a bunny. Grass-eating, multiplying.
Person 2: I am a wolf. Grass-prowling, bunny-devouring.
Person 1: I am a hunter. Horse-mounted, wolf-stabbing.
You play until one cannot think up a counter."

Lilian: "Yes... everyone knows how it works."

DUNGEON MONITOR: "SILENCE! IT'S IMPORTANT TO ALWAYS RESTATE THE RULES!"

DUNGEON MONITOR: "I'll go first. I'm the MONITOR. Impeccable. Power wielding!"
>>
No. 813902 ID: b27cac

I am the outdoors, unmonitored and untouched by her.
>>
No. 813906 ID: 9876c4

I am the nature of power
fated to subvert and corrupt
to misguide intentions abruptly
by increment; age, year, or hour
>>
No. 813911 ID: be0718

I am the power cable. Loose, and easily jostled!
>>
No. 813924 ID: 7fad5d

"I'm Gnuk."
>>
No. 813927 ID: 90f3c0

I am a bard. Silver-tongued, monitor seducing.
>>
No. 813930 ID: 3abd97

>You play until one cannot think up a counter.
Or until someone accidentally repeats something that was said before.

>"I'll go first. I'm the MONITOR. Impeccable. Power wielding!"
I am a game accepted. Power limiting, failure condition imposing.
>>
No. 813964 ID: 780a88

I am Anime, Monitor enticing, virgin keeping.
>>
No. 814009 ID: 56ffef

>>813901
I am virginity. Unable to be lost, a shame to my mother.
>>
No. 814093 ID: c45b7e

>>813901
>I'm the MONITOR. Impeccable. Power wielding!
I am the Bard. Master of chicanery. Monitor subverting.
>>
No. 814229 ID: 135c95

>>813901
I am the quest. Interactive. Obsession-causing, Monitor-distracting.
>>
No. 814244 ID: c88e6d

>>813901
I am.... Nudity, Pride stealing, power weakening!
>>
No. 814510 ID: 57e0c3

I am the monitors favorite pillow, round and soft and oh so inviting.
>>
No. 814517 ID: 91ee5f

>>814510
>round and soft and oh so inviting.
*evil cat bitch Bludjaeger flashbacks intensify*
>>
No. 814818 ID: 144af2

I am the Game Balancer. Weakening, equalizing.
>>
No. 814829 ID: c45b7e

>>813924
>
"I'm Gnuk. This dick you shall succ." to the tune of Belzeboss
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOBKxUT9Da4
>>
No. 835933 ID: efc9ab
File 150776119964.png - (117.46KB , 611x379 , dun031.png )
835933

"My answer you see is quite beyond supposing.
For I am a game accepted. Power limiting and failure condition imposing."


"Yeah whatever I'm a bard, rules breaking and game cheating."

"Pardon?"

"I said I'm a bard."

"I don't wish to make your claim fall flat
But I didn't quite hear that."

>>
No. 835934 ID: efc9ab
File 150776139425.png - (136.94KB , 611x379 , dun032.png )
835934

"I SAID."

"I'M"

"A"

"BARD YOU TITBRAINED BABOON. I'M A BARD, A SLIMY CHEATING FORNICATING MESS WHO SLITHERS AROUND RULES AND CHEATS AT EVERYTHING. I'M A FUCKING BARD. YOUR TURN."

>>
No. 835936 ID: 2474dd

Clearly now you say you're the Dungeon Monitor and she has to seduce you now.
>>
No. 835939 ID: be0718

>>835936
She already used herself!
>>
No. 835940 ID: 3ce125

>>835934
I am the dungeon of eternal torment. Bard-trapping, escape-denying.
>>
No. 835942 ID: be0718

I am the pure heart of a fair maiden! Irresistable, love overwhelming!
>>
No. 835943 ID: c2051e

>>835940
Yep. Just say you're the dungeon.
>>
No. 835948 ID: a363ac

>>835934
I am the guard Bard catching Kings servant.
>>
No. 835950 ID: 3ce125

Just to clarify why: in order to attempt to win she has to say what the dungeon's weakness is, which we can use to escape. She can't say Monitor or Bard again, so she can't really cop-out either.
>>
No. 835951 ID: a7143e

>>835934
I am a lusty woman, bard enticing, willingly seduced
>>
No. 835968 ID: 91ee5f

>>835934
Should we tell her that her wallet and gift card got stolen?

.....nah, I'm sure she'll figure it out on her own.
>>
No. 835969 ID: 91ee5f

>>835940
>>835950
This!
>>
No. 841637 ID: cf7371
File 150955759936.jpg - (76.33KB , 650x550 , DUN01.jpg )
841637

"And this is where the contest, my dear, becomes electrifying.
For I am the dungeon of eternal torment. Bard-trapping, escape-denying
"

DUNGEON MONITOR: "Tch, you are not even trying at this point. I am the winner of the dungeon, brave, monitor tickler!"
>>
No. 841638 ID: cf7371
File 150955766177.jpg - (67.17KB , 600x500 , DUN02.jpg )
841638

DUNGEON MONITOR: "..."

DUNGEON MONITOR: "WAIT!"

DUNGEON MONITOR: "..."

DUNGEON MONITOR: "fuck"
>>
No. 841641 ID: a363ac

>>841638
I am marriage. treasure stealing, adventure denying.
>>
No. 841643 ID: 3ce125

>>841638
TICKLE TICKLE
>>
No. 841650 ID: 91ee5f

You heard her, tickle her without mercy!
>>
No. 841651 ID: bccf1a

Let her have it! TICKLE TIME!
>>
No. 841655 ID: c88e6d

>>841643
DO IT.
>>
No. 841657 ID: 3ce125

Come to think of it, we could keep playing too.

I am practical armor. Flesh-concealing, tickle-protecting.
>>
No. 841681 ID: be0718

It is over, for she has already named the victor of this dungeon - the bard!
Tickle tackle that tuchus!
>>
No. 841702 ID: e22e68

I am a finger trap! Dexterity dropping, tickle denying!

Then tickle her so she can't answer and loses.
>>
No. 841719 ID: b4793d

Sing a song of knocker enhancement. Make her bust out of her armor.
>>
No. 841767 ID: 3abd97

Repetition. That's it, she lost.

>DUNGEON MONITOR: "fuck"
Well, if you insist.
>>
No. 841771 ID: c2051e

>>841657
Seems good.

>>841767
That's not repetition.
>>
No. 841806 ID: f65b48

GET HER!!!
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