Brom 2016/01/25(Mon)21:10 No. 697234 ID: 2a2f8a
File 145378504623.png - (507.26KB , 960x560 , 2.png )

But lo, Young Handharp! Cease your prancing!
You have little time for dancing!
For what did our young Goblin see
Winding through the Goblin Lees?

An INTERLOPER LOPING THROUGH
With pauldron bone and leather shoe!
Who dared invade the goblin land
With a whopping longsword in his hand!

Brom 2016/01/25(Mon)21:10 No. 697235 ID: 2a2f8a
File 145378505440.png - (514.40KB , 960x560 , 3.png )

A HOBGOBLIN this thing proved to be,
And GOBLIN's greatest enemy!
For when in ways Hob and Gob meet,
There's scarce a moment aft they greet

Before a head or arm is chopped!
With 50 thousand million mops
You could not clean the gory tide
That has been shed by either side.

And on this Hob's great scaly back,
There was a little canvas sack,
Which squirmed and bounced and shook and jived,
As though within was one alive.

Handharp took in this eerie sight,
And thought to himself, fight or flight?
The big Hob had not seen him yet,
And there'd be trouble when he did; you bet!

>>697235
"Yo hob, want to join this gob in fucking with the pinkies?"
This will be a tale of unification against a common foe

>>697235
FUCK HIM UP

Play the saddest song you know and while the hob is busy bawling his eyes out slit his throat.

>>697236
This is the best week to say fuck the norm and do whatever

Handharp, stand down, desist, and pause,
to harm this man, you have no cause.

For you are neither thick of arm,
nor ample armed to do him harm.

The minstrel's life is sundry grand,
to love and dream across the land.

But now's no time to strum the lute,
HANDHARP HIDE YOURSELF FROM THIS BRUTE

Brom 2016/01/25(Mon)22:34 No. 697253 ID: 2a2f8a
File 145379004013.png - (540.85KB , 960x560 , 5.png )

Quashing the urge to rush his foe
(Or, madder still, to say hello!)
Handharp did smartly hide away
There to his beefy foe survey.

He watched the Hob sit him a spell,
And sigh, and scratch his biceps fell,
And pick his nose, and crack his back,
And then to open up his sack.

And what was in that canvas shroud,
But a GOBLIN GIRL, nose turned up proud!
Her hands all bound with velvet rope,
And in the clutches of this dope!

"Soon, my sweet, we shall away!"
These words the Hob was heard to say.
"To where our love need never hide,
And I your groom! And you my bride!"

"Again, I object heartily,"
The Gob girl says, but "Joyous Be!"
Her proud fiancee interrupts.
"What joy must lie in wait for us!

"And must it not be through that joy
The blood feud 'twixt our tribe destroy,
And must not our highest holy vows
A reigning time of peace allow?"

"OK," she says, "but here's the thing.
Hobgoblins suck. So do their rings.
And their wedding parties doubly suck.
And you would look shit in a Tux.

"So untie this shit and let me go."
The Hobgoblin laughs. "O, my love, no!
For in Kingdom Hob, at wane of light,
We two shall be as one! Tonight!"

>>697253
sneak up and bite his dick

>>697254
Stab him in the privates.

Sneak up and stick that Hob rat!

While my first instinct is to carve this scum into itty pieces it might be wiser to wait for an opportunity to kill him sneaky like.

Filled with strength of righteous rage,
you'll free the lass from her (metaphorical) cage,
The path of greatest strength you'll pick,
you'll simply kick him in the dick.

Some ugly Hob filth.
Trying to shag a Gob lass.
Slit his nasty throat.

He's like twice your size, the time honored goblin tradition of sneak attack is the only option. How far is the hob village? If it's far enough we could wait until he makes camp and kill him in his sleep.

SNEAK ATTACK DICKPUNCH FU

Brom 2016/01/27(Wed)13:19 No. 697592 ID: 2a2f8a
File 145392955352.png - (541.24KB , 960x560 , 6.png )

Full of righteous indignation,
Bent on the girl's emancipation,
Handharp crept from brushwood thick
To stab the Huge Hob in the dick!

But no sooner were the privates near
Enough for him to try and spear
When a mighty mitt descended down
And plucked poor Handharp off the ground!

"Who are you," quoth bulky foe,
"Who from the shadows sneaking go
To try to sever off my tool?
Just who are you, ill-fated fool?"

Handharp's throat was very dry
His limbs all shook; his eyes were wide.
For he knew with his next breath
What he said meant life or death.

But in the Hobgob's other fist,
The girl was also thinking this.
SUNCAST was she, and she did ponder
How to save this kinsman yonder.

>You may now give Suncast commands too!

>>697592
Husband and wife!

He cannot marry her, she is already taken!

Suncast: Say he's your brother and that you'll never forgive the Hob if he harms him.

"Hi there! Name's Handharp, discount mohel. Sorry about that! Got a little too enthusiastic."

!! >>697598

>>697598
Okay, being serious! This.

Claiming that they're friends or relatives and that Suncast will be proper sore if Handharp is hurt seems like the best bet.

Then again, the Hob may just kill Handharp for funsies.