One 2016/01/16(Sat)19:13 No. 694541 ID: 9b7db4
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And so our quest begins in the Sanctum of the Tablet. Being an inanimate stone tablet, there isn't much to do... or so you'd think, if you weren't the living blob of spiritual energy imprisoned within the stone. Fortunately, thousands of years without maintenance, climate control, or UV filters have corroded the seals on the Tablet.

Before you erupt into existence, however, it's time to make some decisions...

One 2016/01/16(Sat)19:16 No. 694543 ID: 9b7db4
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>>694541
What in heaven is your gender?

THE FUCK ARE THE GENDERS?!

Suggestion 2016/01/16(Sat)19:19 No. 694545 ID: 32e79c
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This.

Whatever this is, anyways.

>>694544
I HAVE NO IDEA.

>>694545
>>694544
no no, you want West and Northwest for gender, so we get both sperm and kite powers

Dick Kite plz

The one on the left.

Obviously male. All other genders are not the same.

>>694549
Sperm Kite>Dick Kite

dick kite i guess whatever the fuck

Suggestion 2016/01/16(Sat)19:42 No. 694556 ID: aedc16
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>>694544
its one of these things I think. Personally I like "Genderfluid: Intergender and Neutrois" even though i have no idea what it means.

>>694556
Oh dear god no.

>>694545
Yes, gender-west.

I change my vote to kite.

>>694556
you made this just to watch the world burn didn't you

uh, gender fluid: demigirl and third gender just because I want to know what the hell a demigirl is and what the fuck the third gender is.

>>694568

Demigirl is 'not like the other girls'

>>694543
our gender is Elder Scrote, characterized by masculinity so potent that it collapses into itself, forming the unknowable Bishie pit that gives all effeminate anime men their powers

One 2016/01/16(Sat)20:16 No. 694583 ID: 9b7db4
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Okay, you want THIS? You ASKED for this. Now, let's see.... What is your basic race? There are many races to choose from.

A.) Reptilians

B.) Kobolds

C.) Knoll

D.) Rended Ones

E.) Starsoul

F.) Poncy Elvish Gits

G.) Lodestars

H.) Wargs

I.) Phages

I

Virus

Suggestion 2016/01/16(Sat)20:22 No. 694590 ID: 32e79c
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>>694583
Rended Ones

As a note, all of these races are between 3-8 feet tall. Including phages.

D.

>>694583
Starsoul go go go

we cthulhu now

Rended

>>694583

I

All power to the crystals, Rended Ones

One 2016/01/16(Sat)20:51 No. 694607 ID: 9b7db4
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Okay, so! You have chosen to be 'born' as one of the Rended Ones! Your gender is PROJECTILE COMMENSALIST REPRODUCTION.

Should you choose to go through with this, you will grow from a crystal shard embedded in the flesh of a living creature. As you grow to adolescence, you will gain the ability to splinter yourself and fire chunks of your body into living creatures to create children without causing (much) harm.

In addition, as a RENDED ONE you have the power to LEVITATE on the aetheric vapors, and are COMPLETELY IMMUNE TO MAGIC thanks to your dead-god progenitor. You also have NO HANDS and are forced to rely on FPS TELEKINESIS to manipulate the world around you. You're PRETTY DAMN TOUGH, NOT VERY STRONG and have REGENERATIVE ABILITIES. Your voice is provided by resonance, making you pretty good at mimicking others.

Are you SURE this is what you want?

YES.

I'm positive, I love dick kite crystal

Yup.

Yes!

Do we get extra bonuses for being dick kited from a different species?

>>694607
I see no downsides whatsoever.

Parasitic crystal us!

Do we get special benefits from shooting our dick-crystals into certain creatures?

>>694614
>>694616
*sigh* Yes, and yes. Do you desire to pick a special Host? You can choose the runner up, Phage, or select from a list of animals.

Yes

This is the most amazing character creation sequence I have seen in a long time.

Let's have our host be Phage.

I VOTE WE DICK KITE INJECT PHAGE

>>694619
Let's go with dick-crystal-viruses.

>>694619
Phage host go

One 2016/01/16(Sat)21:11 No. 694638 ID: 9b7db4
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>>694627
>>694626
>>694625
>>694623
This is the worst idea ever. Okay.... Once upon a time there was a Rended One floating about his business. He spotted one of the dreaded Phages, the deadly, quick, all-consuming, sapient super-predators that occasionally drift down from the Dead Wastes. Thinking quickly, noticing it had not spotted him, he immediately fired a shard of his crystalline flesh into it, impregnating it immediately.

After viciously mauling your ancestor to death, the Phage wandered off, none the wiser to the new life growing inside it. Now you have come to awareness.... Inside a Phage. Shit. Well, at least it's not absorbing you. Unfortunately, you're linked directly to its freaky little mind.

"PLAY! FUCK! EAT?" Ugh. This is problematic, but hey, it doesn't affect any of your abilities!

MIND BATTLE FOR CONTROL OF THE PHAGE!

>>694638
So. What do? You've just gained awareness, have only a few fragmentary memories of the world around you, and you're no longer a tablet.

>>694638
try to hijack the phage's sensory input so you can see what's going on

TALK?

Can phages fly or jump? If we become dislodged we might be able to float upwards away from it.

>PLAY! FUCK! EAT?
Sounds good to me. Find us someone to play with, fuck, and eat.

Explode the phage from the inside.

>>694640
Hahaha, well for one, you don't know how to do that. Worse, you're pretty sure its predator mind would cut through your newborn thoughts like a blowtorch.

>>694664
Phage Cores are rather transparent, even if they are goo filled. Aside from the difficulty hearing, your senses are unimpaired. You seem to be in a cold northern forest, heading towards the tell-tale unending smoke clouds of the Waste. Uhoh.

>>694667
Attempting to dislodge would likely kill the Phage, unfortunately. You're stuck at a mere eight feet off the ground. The Phage's mind is stupid, but self-aware. "WHO?" it asks cheerfully. Phages can't fly, though they can swim quite well and jump at extreme velocities.

>>694669
"YAY! WHO?"

> Find nearest fat woman, consume.

>Attempting to dislodge would likely kill the Phage, unfortunately.
Do we dislodge on our own as we grow, or will we eventually end up killing the host or waiting for it to otherwise die?

>WHO?
SOUTH. OUT OF WASTE.

>>694673
>>694675
[Quest will continue tomorrow when I wake up!]

One 2016/01/17(Sun)10:32 No. 694752 ID: 9b7db4
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>>694675
Actually, you should have detached as soon as you developed sapience, painlessly and without causing impairment of function. It appears the absorbing qualities of Phages are keeping you from leaving.
"OUT OF HOME?" Asks the phage, sounding slightly concerned as it turns to examine the south.


>>694673
"NOT HUNGRY! BORED!"

well there's a city in the distance... not sure how good of an idea it would be to go there though.

So in short we're basically being held prisoner by this Phage with only a minor ability to direct it? Well this should be interesting if nothing else.

>"NOT HUNGRY! BORED!"
CURE FOR BORED IS LEAVE HOME.

>So in short we're basically being held prisoner by this Phage with only a minor ability to direct it?
(Well we might be able to leave by killing the Phage. The Phage did kill our parent, but on the other hand our parent shot first and on the third hand the Phage might sort of count as our other parent.)

Time to cut the umbilical. Kill the phage.

One 2016/01/18(Mon)09:58 No. 695026 ID: 9b7db4
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>>694817
Actually, there's nothing 'minor' about your ability to direct it. When you said your abilities were unaffected, you meant it, as you demonstrate by levitating to the left while dragging the Phage along.
"WOAH! WEIRD!"

>>694835
"OKAY, GOING! HOME NOISY TODAY ANYWAY."

>>694929
Well, that might be difficult since you're entirely unarmed, but potentially possible. The greater danger is that the Phage decides to retaliate and develops an enzyme capable of digesting crystal.

neat, so where are we now and what the hell just exploded in the background?

No reason to kill the phage. For now, it's convenient ablative armor if we run into trouble.

KEEP GOING, SEE WHAT CAN FIND.

One 2016/01/19(Tue)17:59 No. 695577 ID: 9b7db4
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>>695038
"HOME NOISY."
Faintly, recalling the memories of your ancestor, you remember that the Wastes are a waste because of the devastating and self-destructive civil war waged there for the past nine and a half thousand years. Likely the former occupants are all dead at the hands of their creations at this point, though some of the more lucid Phages claim to have been made recently.

>>695236
"FOUND DISC~!" The Phage stands proudly next to its discovery, a runic hatchcover made of some impossibly durable material. It glows cherry red, the rock it sits upon plinking quietly as it cools. Up ahead, one of the mountains appears to have been split, as though by some great, fiery sword, lava still running in little rivulets down its broken interior.

>>695577
That's neat. Anything else nearby? Can't touch the disk right now, it's too hot.

Or do Phages have resistance to heat?

What properties do phages have, anyway? Are they generally dangerous one at a time, or just in large numbers?