Gobble Gobble

Friptag 2015/11/26(Thu)10:07 No. 685813 ID: e22c39
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Hello. I am Friptag.
As you can see it's Thanksgiving and I have no turkey.
>_

Friptag 2015/11/26(Thu)10:18 No. 685819 ID: e22c39
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What ever should i do?
>[Insert Command]

flip the table

You should go to the store and just buy one.

>get gun
>go forest
>use gun on turkey
>get dead turkey
>go home
>cook turkey
>eat turkey

Frip yourself until you're in a good mood and you don't care about the turkey so much?

1. Strip
2. Gobble gobble
3. Curl up on the table
4. You are the turkey
5. ???
6. Profit

Google it.

purchase a turkey

Why eat turkey on thanksgiving? The pilgrims ate deer, not turkey. Celebrate the true thanksgiving by finding natives to eat venison with then proceed to kill them all whilst taking their land, driving them further and further to the west.

>>685819
take a giant dump and mold it into the vague shape of a turkey, plasticwrap it, and swap it for one at the supermarket

performance art AND free turkey

>>685819
Capture someone, roast them alive in place of a turkey.

If you wait till they've already eaten thanksgiving diner they'll even come pre-stuffed.

Jump through the ceiling and intercept an air squadron of turkeys mid-flight.

Friptag 2015/11/28(Sat)11:06 No. 686043 ID: e22c39
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>>685832
I Don't own nor can i afford a guy

>>685821
Great idea! let me get to my car.

Friptag 2015/11/28(Sat)11:09 No. 686044 ID: e22c39
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>>686043
...

Friptag 2015/11/28(Sat)11:11 No. 686045 ID: e22c39
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>>686044
Nothing happened.

Friptag 2015/11/28(Sat)11:23 No. 686046 ID: e22c39
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>>686045
Well my car is missing.
Worst, my insurance doesn't cover theft.

Welp, time to steal one of your neighbor's cars, then. We're playing musical vehicle theft.

Oooooor we could just walk. Either way. Also, report your vehicle stolen (unless you yourself are going to steal a car, in which case, probably not a great idea).

>I Don't own nor can i afford a guy
Freudian slip?

Well your either calling a taxi now or going on foot like a real man.