May as well knock on your friends' door.

Hide under the bed.

examine door, just to be sure. then get bag

>that you have only one goal: ESCAPE SPOOPWICH MANSION.
I think groping Jennifer counts as a second goal.

>what do
Go pound on the door to your friends. See if they can unlock it from their side, or it you can at least talk to them to see if they're alright.

Enter attic. Find end level weapon. Take down the final boss in the basement.

SPOOPY MANSION QUEST Necro Curt 2015/05/21(Thu)12:29 No. 641853 ID: f4096e
File 143223655746.jpg - (157.04KB , 800x600 , SpoopyMansion (2).jpg )

>KNOCK DOOR
You knock politely on the door, noting that the only locks on the door seem to be on your side.
You knock once again.
"Guys? Guys, c'mon! I know you're in there!"
No response.
You bang on the door, shouting for your friends to answer.
No response. Just the hollow echo of what seems to be an empty room behind the door.

Necro Curt 2015/05/21(Thu)12:29 No. 641854 ID: f4096e
File 143223658936.jpg - (108.28KB , 800x600 , spoopymansion.jpg )

>GET BAG
You GET your BAG. It contains: two (2) cans of Mildred Light, warm. One (1) flashlight, with low charge in the batteries. One (1) roll of condoms, old, unused. And one (1) baggie of gummy snacks, lightly crushed. There is also a fine layer of crumbs, dirt, sand, and other general-purpose grit lining the bottom.

Necro Curt 2015/05/21(Thu)12:30 No. 641855 ID: f4096e
File 143223665098.jpg - (108.10KB , 800x600 , SpoopyMansion.jpg )

>HIDE UNDER BED
You're not nearly SPOOP'D enough to resort to such juvenile survival tactics, especially considering that you can't see anything in the room you should hide from!

>Side Quest Added: Grope Jenifer

>>641855
Search the dresser.

Empty out your bag and see if there are any paperclips that you missed.

Tap walls for hidden doors.

You must scare the ghosts before they scare you. Equip SpoOOOoky Sheet.

>>641856
This seems like a good plan.

>>641853
Where are your pants?

Curt+Pudd 2015/05/22(Fri)09:31 No. 642102 ID: b9cef6
File 143231227279.jpg - (69.69KB , 800x600 , SpoopMansion5.jpg )

>EQUIP SHEET
You strip the sheet from the bed and throw it over your head.
Equipped: Natty Sheet to Head slot
You can't see shit! You take it off.

CurtPudd 2015/05/22(Fri)09:32 No. 642103 ID: b9cef6
File 143231233653.jpg - (130.39KB , 800x600 , SpoopMansion6.jpg )

>Where are your pants
...this may have had something to do with you being made to sleep alone too.
Equipped: Natty Sheet to Pants slot
>TAP WALLS
Gasp! The walls sound like there are empty spaces on the other side of them! Perhaps because this room is on the interior of the house. You can't find any hidden entrances or exits in this room.
>DUMP PACK
You find one (1) old Receez Peceez wrapper. And get a bunch of dirt and tiny paper scraps and such on the floor.
>SEARCH DRESSER
Rifling through the dresser, you don't find much. Looks like children's clothing, motheaten to the point of uselessness. Some small toys, a ball-and-cup. A was of socks, densely packed.
Digging into the sockball, you find that it was actually molded around a diary.
You're not sure if you should open it. Who would you be to disobey the wishes of someone who writes "Do not read" in such a frilly way?

1. Read the DIE-ARY.

2. Equip SOCKS to HANDS and recruit the SOCK-PUPPETS as companions.

Look, the owner is dead and/or gone. It's safe to check the diary.

Assuming it's light enough to read in here. It's not worth using up your limited flashlight charge on. You might need light for an emergency.

Use sock to fap.

Read the diary just do it.

Pudd(ing) and Curtcumber 2015/05/23(Sat)11:59 No. 642385 ID: b9cef6
File 143240754544.jpg - (84.51KB , 800x600 , mGlmpKO.jpg )

>Defile a small dead girl's trust in man by reading her diary, even though it specifically says not to read it
It's not really pitch dark in here, and you have pretty decent night vision. You can read it fine.
There's only two pages. Not, like, the other pages are ripped out, this thing looks like it was only printed with the two pages.
The first looks like a normal diary entry.

Dear Diary, I'm sorry I haven't written to you in a while. Mother has had me so busy preparing me for my first act of witchery! She says we're going to perform the Ritual Of Key-Getting first, since it's so easy any schmuck could do it. I'm so excited!
The twins aren't doing well. They still have that dreadful cough. We're lucky it hasn't already to anyone else. The podiatrist came by recently, and Mother wouldn't let me talk to him, but I could tell, he didn't think there was much he could do.
Talk to you again soon, Diary!

There's small writing at the bottom, heavily crossed out, but you can still pretty much read it.

PS Saw that tall boy outside again yesterday, wish Mother would let me out to see him
Imagination will have to do

Pudd(ing) and Curtcumber 2015/05/23(Sat)11:59 No. 642386 ID: b9cef6
File 143240757846.jpg - (86.96KB , 800x600 , 7WgW0Ux.jpg )

You turn to the second page.
It looks like a small page of instructions on how to perform the Ritual Of Key-Getting! It says that the pentagram thing is already set up in the basement, and just needs some items to actually start the spell.

Huh. Not sure you want to try possibly dangerous possibly complete bunk witchcraft. Hold onto the book for now, though.

Time to take the other door out of this room, I think. You have missing friends to look for, and quests (and sidequests) to complete.

to adventure!

First you need to learn to dance in a manly fashion. But where are we going to find a moustache shoe?

Purt and Cudd 2015/05/25(Mon)11:17 No. 643093 ID: b9cef6
File 143257783445.jpg - (140.13KB , 800x600 , 3oTXBPg.jpg )

>GO
You head out the open door to the right, entering the UPPER FOYER.
You can't see any sources of light, but the place is lit up decently enough for you to see. A thick layer of dust coats everything evenly, although you remember everybody fooling around through the entire house just last night. There are no windows.
The UPPER FOYER is built like a large U around the lower; you stand in the hall that makes up the leftmost side, with the railing in front of you covering a fall into the lower floor. There are two doors to your left, the central staircase leading to the LOWER FOYER, and three doors on the right-hand side of the U.
The railing looks old and moldy - if you leaned on it, it's likely it would break.

Purt and Cudd 2015/05/25(Mon)11:17 No. 643094 ID: b9cef6
File 143257786075.jpg - (122.88KB , 800x600 , 8GCeNd3.jpg )

There is a large portrait of MADAME SPOOPWICH over the fireplace in front of the central staircase.
You can't quite remember which doors lead to where.

>A thick layer of dust coats everything evenly
Any footprints in the dust? Maybe you could follow a trail to your friends that way.

>>643094
What's that shiny thing on the left side of the mantel?

>>643094
Shiny! Shiny shiny shiny.

...I bet that painting's eyes will follow you around the room. Take the first door on the left after collecting the shiny.

Wave hello to the painting.

Take the painting, it might be worth something.

See if you can mark down which doors lead to where. You may want to draw on the doors to represent where they go.

Curt 2015/05/26(Tue)15:45 No. 643368 ID: b9cef6
File 143268031388.jpg - (127.54KB , 800x600 , mCpxfj6.jpg )

>Any footprints?
None at all! It's as if no one has been in here for weeks.
>WAVE
Hey there, painting!
It's either giving you the cold shoulder, or made of perfectly normal... paint stuff. Oils? Dyes? Paint. Whatever. It doesn't appear to react.

Curt 2015/05/26(Tue)15:46 No. 643369 ID: b9cef6
File 143268037724.jpg - (124.55KB , 800x600 , YcQaoDC.jpg )

>TAKE SHINY
You reach for the shiny thing in the mantle! It seems to be some kind of small, bejeweled button. You PUSH BUTTON.
The painting swings open, revealing a ladder heading up!
>TAKE PAINTING
It appears to be on heavy, mechanized hinges. Maybe if you had some tools and time you could pop it off, but it seems to be on there pretty solid. And it's not like you can just add a whole painting to your INVENTORY! It would totally be larger than you can hold.

>>643368
Are those claws?
My dear, YOU are the spoopwich!

First she gives you the cold shoulder, then she opens a passage to her innermost depths. Oh my.

Well, climb the ladder, I suppose. Might as well see where the secret passage goes.

ascend secret stairs.

Necro 2015/05/30(Sat)14:51 No. 644156 ID: f4096e
File 143302269067.jpg - (86.45KB , 800x600 , spoopy1.jpg )

>YOU ARE THE SPOOPWITCH, TOM
You fall to your knees, shocked by this revelation! You killed your friends! This is your mansion! Oh dear god, the horror! If you're the legendary Spoopwitch of Spoopwich Mansion, that means you haven't dusted your mansion in, like, a few weeks!
And that you got your tits removed!
The horror! A travesty!

Necro 2015/05/30(Sat)14:52 No. 644157 ID: f4096e
File 143302272113.jpg - (156.67KB , 800x600 , spoopy2.jpg )

Except you're not so you're totally fine.

Necro 2015/05/30(Sat)14:52 No. 644158 ID: f4096e
File 143302275094.jpg - (149.47KB , 800x600 , spoopykitty.jpg )

>CLIMB LADDER
You climb up the ladder.
This room seems to be in the attic, based on the curving roof-like-ness of the ceiling. There's a row of coffins lining the walls, going from largest to smallest. The two largest have "His 'n Hers: Spoopwich" embossed on their fronts. The smallest has "Mr. Whiskernubbins" on it.

>>644158
I advise you not disturb the dead. At least, not without a stake. Go back down and push the button again to seal up the room. Then check the next-left door.

>>644157
Showing us your girly hand isn't much of a counterargument.

>>644158
Nope. Nope the fuck out of there. We're not opening any coffins.

Go back down the ladder and close the secret passage up again.

Look behind you...

Nope your way back down.

HUG ALL COFFINS

Because your friends might be stuffed inside them

Curt 2015/06/03(Wed)16:10 No. 645087 ID: b9cef6
File 143337300922.jpg - (161.50KB , 800x600 , H2deFzh.jpg )

>Showing us your MANLY MAN HANDS is a GREAT counterargument for you not being the spoopwitch
I'm glad you think so, voices in my head.

Curt 2015/06/03(Wed)16:10 No. 645088 ID: b9cef6
File 143337304351.jpg - (153.83KB , 800x600 , 1rW6JbZ.jpg )

>Nope.
>Nope!
>Naaw mang
You nope back down and close the painting.

Curt 2015/06/03(Wed)16:11 No. 645089 ID: b9cef6
File 143337306699.jpg - (149.79KB , 800x600 , jbLOqJP.jpg )

>Check Left Door
You check the room directly to the left of the room you woke in.
There's a pair of cribs pushed against the wall. There's a variety of small toys scattered around the floor, and a tiny bookshelf full of old, moldy children's books. There's another door to the ATTIC in the ceiling.
It looks like there's a little bundle in each crib.
This room is just as dusty as the UPPER FOYER.
You have entered the TWIN'S ROOM.

>>645089
Take a closer look at the bundles.

Poke around for a secret book-lever in the bookshelf.

Fap using rings from toy.

Re-arrange the rings, see what video games the kids had; they might be collector's items...

What's up with all the paintings changing?

>>645089
equip any sizable toy rings to your wrist slot(s).

I thought you were a girl. shit

Curt 2015/06/07(Sun)13:19 No. 646941 ID: b9cef6
File 143370839190.jpg - (141.24KB , 800x600 , 7x9EBfn.jpg )

>Shit, I thought you were a girl
Well then you must be blind, voice in my head! I'm clearly a red-blooded, manly man! I do manly things! I don't wear girly things, or look girly in any way!
Or. Well. I usually don't! This bedsheet dress is the exception to the rule.
But I'm generally manly! Like, really, really manly!

Curt 2015/06/07(Sun)13:20 No. 646942 ID: b9cef6
File 143370843494.jpg - (112.57KB , 800x600 , fRXu2Zl.jpg )

>FAP
You're not nearly DRUNK and HORNY enough to do that! You fucking perverts.
>Equip RING(s)
You equip the largest ring to your WRIST. The rest are too small to wear, but not small enough to be worn as rings.
>CHECK FOR HIDDEN LEVERS
>What games they got?
Let's see... uh, "Flock," looks like some kind of horror title set in a lab or something. Characters are kinda cute little animals though.
"Super Action Zombie Spy Adventure Go," uh, exactly what it sounds like.
"Gnoll's Reign," looks like the sequel to some other game. Nice graphics on the screenshots, though.
None of the books or video games seem to be hidden levers.

Curt 2015/06/07(Sun)13:27 No. 646947 ID: b9cef6
File 143370882378.jpg - (138.49KB , 800x600 , vXEmVNR.jpg )

>CHECK BUNDLES
You walk up to one of the bundles in the cribs. You can see that there's something inside it, wrapped in the thick swaddle.
You reach down to peel back the blanket. As you do so, the wrapping flings into the air, and begins to give off an eerie glow! As it does so, you hear a faint click, and a whir, as if a long string on a spool was being unwound swiftly.
"WOOoOOOooO-kzrrkk-oaaaaAaooohh! Hooow daaAAA-ktz-aAAA-ktz-aAAA-ktz-aare you disturb our resting plaaaAAAAAce! OoOoooOOOOOH!!"

Curt 2015/06/07(Sun)13:27 No. 646948 ID: b9cef6
File 143370887142.jpg - (108.42KB , 800x600 , 6yY9RIR.jpg )

Your Spoopometer rises from AVERAGE SPOOPS to MILDLY SPOOP'D.
Apologies for technical difficulties

...you're being pranked by your friends. They have some sort of CLEVER MECHANISMS set up in this place. Yank the sheet free to see what's under it- probably some sort of light bulb in a ball.

Or maybe this used to be an amusement park sort of haunted house?

>>646941
>protests about being manly
Nice eyelashes.

>>646947
Smack that stupid floating thing out of the air. This has to be a prank.

Wave your hand above the sheet, while making spoopy noises back at it.

Curt 2015/06/11(Thu)12:58 No. 647829 ID: b9cef6
File 143405272418.jpg - (128.77KB , 800x600 , 143405018289.jpg )

>WHAT A LOAD OF SHEET
You tear the small blanket off. It's... just a lightbulb on a hook?
What?
>Your friends have set up DASTARDLY MECHANISMS
No! Impossible! They wouldn't know how to set up a wire on some kind of motorized spring or coil connected to a proximity sensor attached to a lightbulb covered by a blanket, ever! Even if they pooled all their engineering know-how together!
They're kind a stupid, honestly.
>Wave your hand above it
You slap the wire, knocking the lightbulb off the hook. It shatters on the ground.
A tug on the wire brings it down to about two meters, before it stops. Presumably, it's reached the end of it's spool.
It's being fed through a small hole in the ceiling. It's thin and dark and semi-clear; that must be why you didn't notice it approaching the crib.
It's anchored too firmly to just tear down. If you wanted to bring it with you, you'd need something to cut it down with.

Curt 2015/06/11(Thu)12:59 No. 647830 ID: b9cef6
File 143405277043.jpg - (100.14KB , 800x600 , 143405230176.jpg )

There doesn't seem to be anything else noteworthy in the room, unless you want to trigger the same jumpscare in the other bundle.
>Maybe this is some kind of old amusement park or haunted house?
No, you're certain that this is Spoopwich manor, supposed home of the legendary SpoopWitch. Built in 1807 here on your hometown of...
...
built here in 1807 in Massachusetts.

check mirror/window over crib.

Check under crib for stuff!

>your friends couldn't have done this, no skills
Could you have done this? Is it possible you rigged stuff to prank your friends with, only you got blackout drunk and can't remember?

Would kind of serve you right if they left you to deal with your own stupid tricks.

Curt 2015/06/14(Sun)18:43 No. 648525 ID: b9cef6
File 143433262772.jpg - (56.49KB , 800x600 , zZ3VdYT.jpg )

>You set up traps?
Nah, no way. They don't offer practical courses in schools anymore. You couldn't learn shop, or construction, or engineering, or anything like that in school. Insurance for "idiots who stick their hands into powerdrills" is too high. And none of the jobs you've taken have given you that kind of experience.
>Under the crib?
Not much except some dust bunnies and LEGOs.

Curt 2015/06/14(Sun)18:44 No. 648526 ID: b9cef6
File 143433265745.jpg - (75.32KB , 800x600 , gQXo0x2.jpg )

>CHECK MIRROR
Boy howdy, that sure is a mirror. A piece of reflective glass. You can see stuff behind you in it. And yourself. Particularly, you can see your definetely not girly face. With these short, sharp locks of hair and clearly not impossibly long eyelashes. And your nose, which is not cute and button-like in any way. And your squared, rigid, sharp, not soft and rounded chin.
Manly.
Maaan-lee.
Anyway, more about the mirror. It has some small scratches and corrosion on the edges.
There's another mirror over the second crib, with the same properties.

>>648526
NEXT ROOM.

remove mirrors. also tame dust bunnies.

>>648525
Oh man, get the legos. How can you ignore legos?

Wear bunny slippers.

Curt 2015/06/20(Sat)10:25 No. 649620 ID: b9cef6
File 143482112001.jpg - (75.63KB , 800x600 , 18J1ll2.jpg )

>TAME BUNNIES
>WEAR BUNNIES
This goes about as well as could possibly be expected, considering you have no ranks in bunny taming, nor any in cleaning or cobbling.
Your feet are now covered in dust, lint, and other assorted floor bits. The few dust bunnies you didn't try to mold around your feet have fled against the far wall underneath the crib.

Curt 2015/06/20(Sat)10:26 No. 649621 ID: b9cef6
File 143482116897.jpg - (117.37KB , 800x600 , V6XSlNN.jpg )

>TAKE LEGO
One FISTFULL OF LEGOS taken.

>REMOVE MIRRORS
They're set into the wall, and you can't just pry them out with your hands.

>NEXT ROOM
You head into the next room down the hall; two to the left of the room you woke in.

Curt 2015/06/20(Sat)10:27 No. 649622 ID: b9cef6
File 143482122123.jpg - (112.11KB , 800x600 , Kg14TuG.jpg )

You have entered the MUSIC ROOM. This room looks even more disused than the others; the everpresent layer of dust covers the wide assortment of instruments piled in the room, and this layer of dust is accentuated by large, wispy cobwebs draping themselves just about everywhere. There is a mirror against the far wall. There's a grand piano in the center of the room, flanked on either side by a large harp and some kind of fancy lookin' Neil Peart giant fuckoff drumset on a rotating platform. The harp seems to be strangely designed; first off, it's massive, far bigger than you'd think a harp should need to be. There are also small hooks imbedded in the frame of the instrument.

get sheet music, play song on all instruments.

Become a one man band.

Play Toccata and Fugue in D Minor on the piano.

Sage Curt 2015/06/22(Mon)15:20 No. 650150 ID: b9cef6
File 143501163934.jpg - (193.12KB , 800x600 , 143498552339.jpg )

>GET SHEETS
You head over to the piano and take a look at the sheet music propped up on it.
...it's Sex Machine.
Unfortunately, the sheet is ripped. It would seem the bottom half of the page is missing.
There's also a small diary on the piano you didn't notice from the distance. You go ahead and read it.
Be sure that the piano is ready to play whenever Maggie wants to dance to her favorite song! Remember to keep your balance when you play the drums!
>PLAY CLASSICAL MUSIC
>BECOME THE BAND
Unfortunately, the piano seems to be locked. You can't pry the key's cover up, no matter how hard you strain! You take a brief rest in an entirely gender-neutral position on top of the locked keyboard.
>PLAY ALL INSTRUMENTS
Alright. To the harp!

Sage Curt 2015/06/22(Mon)15:21 No. 650151 ID: b9cef6
File 143501168649.jpg - (312.74KB , 1200x900 , S6k82Fo.jpg )

You actually know how to play this thing. You've been cast in some commercials where you dressed up like an angel and had to play the harp while the main actor talked about soap or diapers or whatever it was.
However, you can't play this thing! The strings are incredibly stiff, they have almost no give. You can thump them and the vibrate a small tone, but you can't play it at all.
To the drum!

>putting sage in the subject line Curt 2015/06/22(Mon)15:24 No. 650152 ID: b9cef6
File 143501186384.jpg - (184.68KB , 900x675 , byu97UF.jpg )

You got no idea how to play these. You just... hit them with the sticks? You've never actually messed around with a drum kit.
You take a seat on the small stool behind the drum kit, and feel the seat sink down a little bit. With a jerk, you're almost knocked from the seat, as the drum kit suddenly spins and raises! You hop down to investigate.
Hm! It looks like as the stage raised, it revealed a small compartment in the side! You grab a small key from the compartment.

Screw it

WREAK HAVOK UPON THESE INSTRUMENTS, FOR THEY HAVE FAILED THE CONCERT OF SPOOPWICH, AND FROM THE SCRAP AND FLAMES OF THE OLD, CONSTRUCT AN AXE OF ROCK AND METAL!

Or just scavenge the instruments for parts.

>>650152
There's a diary on top of the piano, read it. Also see if you can use the key to unlock the piano.

tune the harp. also maybe just play the song without it working? perhaps the harp is a secret key device instead of an actual harp.

>You've been cast in some commercials
Wait, you're an actor?

...wait, you've been paid to look girly on tv?

>>650152
Hold keys aloft and make zelda item collection noise.

>>650153
Let's not make more of a mess out of this place.

Use key on locked door from the first room.

Curt 2015/06/25(Thu)17:00 No. 650733 ID: b9cef6
File 143527679973.jpg - (126.60KB , 1350x1012 , vwlPzF6.jpg )

>KEY GET
"Nah nah nah naaaa!"
That feels really rewarding.

>use KEY on DOOR FROM BEFORE
You quickly run off screen, back into the first room, and try the key on the door. Doesn't seem to work. The lock on that door looks like one of those giant, important kinds of locks. You'd probably need an important-looking key for it. Like, some kind of Final Boss key, that's like the size of your hand, and has a big eye on the end, or something.
You run back onscreen.

Curt 2015/06/25(Thu)17:00 No. 650734 ID: b9cef6
File 143527684420.jpg - (167.41KB , 1350x1012 , srJEUBX.jpg )

>You're an actor?
No, no. You got it through one of those flyers people nail to phone poles, with little tear-off-able strips on the bottom with an address and phone number. Just showed up because you needed some extra cash.
>You've been paid to look girly on TV?
NO! They obviously just needed a male angel! Male angels are a thing! They're called cherubs! Like, cupid is a cherub! You were totally a cherub! They just... they needed five angels and a cherub!
To insinuate otherwise is both ridiculous and unacceptable, voices in my head.
>READ DIARY
What, again?
>TUNE HARP
It actually doesn't look like there are any of the little knobs you twist to tune it.
>PLAY IT ANYWAY
You can barely pull the strings! You can kind of... thump them, maybe.
Slowly thumping out the first half of Sex Machine doesn't seem to do anything.

Curt 2015/06/25(Thu)17:01 No. 650735 ID: b9cef6
File 143527691524.jpg - (151.35KB , 1350x1012 , NlKKX4y.jpg )

>BREAK SHIT
Fuck you, harp!
You punch the harp!
Oh, uh, wow. You expected it to be a lot heavier than that. Your punch knocks it over and away. As a quick test, you try to lift it upright again; you can pick this thing up no problem.
>UNLOCK PIANO KEYBOARD
The key fits! Finally, you can play classical music.
No noise comes from the thing beyond the small bump of the keys themselves being played.

>used a key
Did it magically crumble away to dust?

>No noise comes from the thing beyond the small bump of the keys themselves being played.
Open the back. Is there something wrong with the strings, or hammers? Does it look like there are parts missing?

>hard is easy to move
I wonder if we'll need it in a puzzle, elsewhere.

That's not a harp, It's the piano's string's frame. Put it inside the piano

>>650741
...you're right.

>>650741
And then proceed to play THE LOUDEST SONG YOU KNOW.

so you know chopsticks or whatever.

Curt 2015/07/01(Wed)11:21 No. 652234 ID: b9cef6
File 143577489399.jpg - (135.04KB , 1147x860 , MyAwkL1.jpg )

>Did the key shatter?
What? No. Why would it? That would be stupid. You could probably open any amount of pianos with this key. I mean, you doubt there will be any more pianos in this place so you might as well throw it away, but no. Why would it just dissolve?


>SOLVE PUZZLE
You pick up the harp with your MANLY!^tm strength. You carefully open up the piano's back and slide the harp in, the hooks on it's edges catching on something inside. A quick test on the keys confirms that it's fixed! Woo!
>PLAY LOUDLY

Curt 2015/07/01(Wed)11:22 No. 652235 ID: b9cef6
File 143577494530.jpg - (173.83KB , 1147x860 , DgDmR5x.jpg )

CAMPTOWN LADIES SING THIS SONG, DO DA, DO DA, CAMPTOWN LADIES SING THIS SONG, ALL THE DO DA okay this doesn't seem to be doing much.
And neither does playing the first half of Sex Machine.

>>652235
You probably need the second half of the song. I think we're done here until we find the rest of the sheet music. Try the next room?

So... you're a camptown lady? Is that what you're saying? (You really make this too easy).

leave room, to next room for more puzzles.

Curt 2015/07/03(Fri)16:11 No. 652879 ID: b9cef6
File 143596507669.jpg - (103.67KB , 1147x860 , V7EhZYa.jpg )

>So, you're a camptown lady?
You were only singing that song for like twenty seconds, not all the do da day!

Curt 2015/07/03(Fri)16:12 No. 652880 ID: b9cef6
File 143596513655.jpg - (184.68KB , 1147x860 , lll7FXZ.jpg )

>NEXT ROOM
You head across the hall to the room directly across from this one.
This room is pretty large; probably the size of the music room. The floor is covered in bright hardwood, coated with dust just like everywhere else. There's a large locker set against the wall, about closet sized. The far wall is a single large mirror, with a metal bar across it. The mirror is scratched and corroded around the edges. A part of the floor in the corner looks fairly rotten, and there's a steady drip and drizzle falling into that spot from a small crack in the ceiling.
You have entered the DANCE ROOM.

Any footprints in the dust?

Go check the locker.

Dubstep your way across the dance floor!

Stay away from the rotten spot. Wouldn't want to fall through the floor.

>>652880
oh look a thing, lets go open it

>>652880
walk close enough to the mirror to see your spoopy distorted reflection. or THAT THING BEHIND YOU

Curt 2015/07/06(Mon)18:19 No. 653564 ID: b9cef6
File 143623195362.jpg - (92.62KB , 1147x860 , 4ZbuD3A.jpg )

>Footprints?
Nope.
>OPEN LOCKER
Okay, you'll just walk on over, and
>DUBSTEP YOUR WAY THERE
I... what? Is there a dance that goes with dubstep? Like, uh... do you... kind of, just...
Well... you'll try.

You shuffle awkwardly over to the locker.

You finally arrive at the locker, and open it up. There's a small little dancer's outfit in here, hanging on a rack, and a note taped to the bottom.
>LOOK, YOU KNOW WE'RE JUST GOING TO WANT TO READ THE NOTE
Maggie, you keep leaving your shoes lying around. I've put them in a locked box in your room, you can get them when you're ready to dance again.

Use dancer's outfit as pants.

Look at mirror. Be ready to smash mirror.

>>653564
I guess we gotta open the box to get the dancing shoes and then wear the completed outfit and dance in here to activate something? You can fit in that, right?

Next room.

>>653564
Just give in already. Pretend it's kilts. Better than being naked.

>>653564
We could probably use that as a set of "underwear" until we find something more decent.

>>653564
Why oh why does it look like a perfect fit?

Curt+Pudd 2015/07/08(Wed)14:30 No. 654014 ID: b9cef6
File 143639103017.jpg - (169.08KB , 1147x860 , PKV7fXK.jpg )

>It's a perfect fit!
>They might make good pants.
>You can fit in that, right?
>Pretend it's a kilt.
I... No! I mean, it's a dress! For girls! Little girls! You would never, ever wear this! What if someone saw you? What is the matter with you people?! Or, me, I guess, if you're voices in my head. What is the matter with me-slash-you-slash-I?!
>GIVE IN
You begrudgingly begin to equip the tutu, and connected leggings. As you pull on the first leg, you examine your life, and the choices that have led up to wearing a tutu. Do you really want to do this? Do you really want to wear a tutu?
You begin to pull on the second leg.


...no.
No, you do not really want to wear a tutu.
Noooooo.
You tear off the tutu. Wearing a tutu should be a last resort! You would never willingly wear one, unless it was the absolute, last option.
I mean, your clothing is perfectly good right now! You've got a... dress made out of old bedsheets.
But it's not a tutu!
You throw it in your backpack just in case, but do not equip it.

Curt Pudd 2015/07/08(Wed)14:31 No. 654015 ID: b9cef6
File 143639107301.jpg - (213.21KB , 1147x860 , RMxBzjK.jpg )

>LOOK MIRROR
You stare at the MANLY man in the mirror. Not much seems to happen.
>NEXT ROOM
Next room! The door has "Maggie" stenciled into it in flowing lettering.

This looks like a little girl's room. There's a small mirror set into the wall above a little dresser, faded pink. Assorted makeups and hair products lie on it. There's a small bed against the wall, much like the one you woke in. The sheets on it are motheaten to the point of uselessness.
There's a bookshelf against the far wall, empty except for a small shoebox.

examine shoebox.

Grab items on desk.

Flip bed.

>Assorted makeups and hair products lie on it.
Well, I guess you're prepared if you really do give in.

>what do
Check shoebox, check under the bed, check the drawers on the dresser.

Use piano key on shoebox.

Curt 2015/07/15(Wed)08:30 No. 656050 ID: b9cef6
File 143697420804.jpg - (106.06KB , 1147x860 , 0Df2rTt.jpg )

>FLIP BED
You brace yourself, and then flip the bed onto its side, against the wall! With the bed out of the way, you can spot some cleverly hidden lint, dust, and loose change!
>GRAB STUFF
One (1) periwinkle blue Darling's Lil' Makeup Kit^tm lipstick and two (2) silver heart-shaped earings added to your inventory.
>CHECK UNDER BED
Well, since you flipped it, now just the floor is under it.
>CHECK DRESSER
More beauty products! Some hair brushes and stuff.
>CHECK BOX
It's a small wooden shoebox. Looking closer at it, you see that the lid is held on tightly by some kind of... strange, advanced lock. It looks like there's a microphone attached to it on one side.
>APPLY KEY
There's no keyhole on the box! And besides, you doubt a key made to unlock a piano would unlock anything other than more pianos. Might as well just forget about it.

Take the box back to the piano. See if playing sex machine unlocks it.

ay lady boy can you break any walls nstuff or sumfin or is it too magical for you? as far as I know you aren't a chump in my eyes yet homeboi

>>656059
wtf are you smoking?

>>656050
play the song of your people to the box.

>>656050
You probably have to bring it to the piano and play the song to unlock it. Might as well try the sheet music we have, but it's quite likely we need the other half.

THROW IT ON THE GROUND

Curt 2015/07/27(Mon)14:08 No. 658571 ID: b9cef6
File 143803130369.jpg - (155.82KB , 1147x860 , XPsHLMA.jpg )

>AY LADYBOY
Excuse me?
>HOMEBOI
>>BREAK WALLS NSTUFF
>>>TOO MAGICAL FOR YOU?
I... What? I'm sorry? My, uh, my bro-eese is a little rusty. It's been a long time since you took that class on how to speak bro. Took remedial flower arraignment instead. Would you mind repeating that in English?
>PLAY MUSIC TO BOX
You head back to the music room, setting the box on the piano. Playing Sex Machine elicits a few unlocky-sounding clunks from the lock as the lid appears to loosen just a bit, but when you stop at the end of the incomplete sheet, it closes up firmly again. It seems like playing the full song would unlock it, but just half doesn't do the trick.
>PLAY SONG OF YOUR PEOPLE
You crack your knuckles, preparing yourself to play the song all true men should know. A song written by the manliest composer to ever live; Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Seriously, dude was fucking nuts. And he wrote one of your favorite party songs.
You play, from memory, Leck Mich Im Arsch. A beautiful, and funny, piece; you know it by heart.

Curt 2015/07/27(Mon)14:09 No. 658572 ID: b9cef6
File 143803136542.jpg - (162.81KB , 1147x860 , WN8btu4.jpg )

The box seems unamused, it's flat, sterile faces somehow conveying the fact that it hates both your taste in music, as well as your ability to play whatever shitty music you happen to drudge up from the corners of your memory.
>THROW IT ON THE GROUND
You throw the shoebox at the ground! What a jerk! That's the song of a generation! You have no taste, box!

Curt 2015/07/27(Mon)14:09 No. 658573 ID: b9cef6
File 143803139341.jpg - (103.99KB , 1147x860 , eaTIdEW.jpg )

It is just as unimpressed with your throwing force as it is with your musical talent. Perhaps if you were stronger you could shatter the box, but it just bounces harmlessly off the ground. Mockingly, almost.

There's still one unexplored room on this floor, the stairway downstairs, and the room full of coffins behind the painting you nope'd out on.

To the unexplored room. Still looking for the sheet music I guess.

check last room, gather things into music room, as in, empty inventory near piano of unneeded objects.

Vehemently promote your self-manliness to the mansion as you walk slowly towards the unchecked room. As in, scream that you're a guy until your vocal chords give out.

>>658573
Let's try the unexplored door first.

If you can hear the box starting to unlock, and distinguish that from the sound of it re-locking, that should be sufficient to incrementally reconstruct the second half of Sex Machine by trial and error. Just find something you can write notes on, to save your progress.

Curt 2015/08/02(Sun)15:06 No. 659890 ID: b9cef6
File 143855316189.jpg - (116.26KB , 1147x860 , cqcmln.jpg )

>REVERSE ENGINEER THE SECOND HALF OF SEX MACHINE
What, do you look like some kind of computer? You just heard the box unlocking slowly as you played, and then it clicked loudly back to fully locked. If you wanted to figure out the rest of the song just by seeing when it resets every time, that'd take forever!

Curt 2015/08/02(Sun)15:08 No. 659891 ID: b9cef6
File 143855332209.jpg - (131.74KB , 1147x860 , habhcz.jpg )

>EXPLORE ROOM
You head out of the music room and towards the last unopened door in the hall.
>EXPLORE WHILE PROMOTING YOUR MANLYNESS
Well, that just kind of happens. Because you're so manly.
>PROMOTE MANHOOD BY SCREAMING YOUR LUNGS OUT
...how about not.

Curt 2015/08/02(Sun)15:09 No. 659892 ID: b9cef6
File 143855338523.jpg - (73.73KB , 1147x860 , ffD0xoA.jpg )

You open up the door, revealing what seems to be a bathroom. There's a sink against the wall, with a small medicine cabinet above it. There's also a toilet, one of those old ones with the tank set high up. There's a bathtub and shower against the far wall, the showerhead dripping slowly. The tub has overflowed, covering the tile floor in a cold, wet puddle. The water drains out steadily into a small crack at the bottom of the wall.

check medicine cabinet. and look into the water.

Yellow water is never a good sign.

>>659893
Pretty much.

I bet there's something hidden in the raised water tank, but there's no way you're wading through that in bare feet to check.

>>659892
Oh god, the water damage. Can you turn the water off?

>>658571
>remedial flower arraignment
So you're training to be a flower lawyer? Cool.

>>659892
Eugh, looks like the toilet is overflowing too. Gross. Maybe see if you can turn off the water from OUTSIDE this room.

Curt 2015/08/08(Sat)11:42 No. 661068 ID: b9cef6
File 143905933785.jpg - (66.46KB , 1147x860 , l32F4ZJ.jpg )

>CHECK CABINET
You carefully step around the filthy water, coming up to the sink.
The medicine cabinet is pretty bare, but for a single enormous pill. Like, seriously, you don't know how anyone would ever swallow this thing. Or want to; it tastes like licking a stick of chalk mixed with pennies.

Curt 2015/08/08(Sat)11:43 No. 661069 ID: b9cef6
File 143905939850.jpg - (96.21KB , 1147x860 , ULCQZ5p.jpg )

I mean, look! You can barely get it in your mouth! Surely a pill of this size is impractical at best, and useless at worst.

Curt 2015/08/08(Sat)11:44 No. 661070 ID: b9cef6
File 143905945096.jpg - (81.07KB , 1147x860 , KN3KPKe.jpg )

At least it's not a suppository, though! Only have to struggle with it in your mouth.
It's large enough that the pill itself is engraved with a label; Fast Acting Health Supplement. On the back are dozens of warnings, too small to be properly read. The cabinet has a mirror set into it's back.

Curt 2015/08/08(Sat)11:44 No. 661071 ID: b9cef6
File 143905949452.jpg - (91.26KB , 1147x860 , 0WHA71K.jpg )

>LOOK IN WATER
You peer into the toilet bowl. Doesn't seem like there's much in here; just some scummy water.
You go ahead and close the toilet seat and climb up, looking into the toilet's reservoir. There is something in here! A small plastic baggie, with a piece of paper in it. You reach in and grab it. It's the second half of the song!
You can't see what's in the murky water of the tub from here. The water is almost opaque, it's so dirty and stagnant. You could feel around in the tub of you went up to it, but you're reluctant to step through the water barefoot.
>TURN OFF WATER
You don't see any way to turn off the shower's drip from here, and a quick fiddle with the various bits in the toilet shows that they're mostly stuck.

well, hold on to it, maybe the pill is actually a really weird key?

lets combine the two "sex machine music sheet(half)" into a "sex machine music sheet(full)" and play that song to the box.

Play song to box!

...why did you try to cram the strange, unknown pill in your mouth? You don't know what it does.

Go back and play that song, do da.

Soak the pill in water to dissolve it, maybe there's something hidden inside.

>>661526
don't forget to drink it afterwards. it's a health supplement after all. gotta stay healthy to maintain your manly physique.

Curt 2015/08/25(Tue)13:45 No. 665028 ID: b9cef6
File 144053552340.jpg - (62.15KB , 1147x860 , H5JLCu0.jpg )

>Why did you just try to cram an unknown pill in your mouth?
I...
...
That's, uh...
You don't really know, honestly. You didn't swallow it though, so it's fine. Right? Right.
>COMBINE SHEETS
>PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC, WHITE BOY
You return to the music room, and line up the sheets on the piano.

Curt 2015/08/25(Tue)13:46 No. 665029 ID: b9cef6
File 144053556048.jpg - (52.95KB , 1147x860 , Me8ouQh.jpg )

[House-rocking jams]
[Getting up, feeling like a sex machine]
[Funky beats]


The box pops open as you play the last note, the electronic lock falling off of the lid. You open up the shoebox, revealing a small pair of dancing shoes.
1/3 necessary trinkets acquired!

>>665029
Equip dancing shoes. Show us your moves.

check for newly unlocked rooms now that puzzle 1 is done.

Rip out your hair and stuff it in the shoes!

I guess we may as well check the coffins now that we know this is a puzzle house.

Equip shoes, do a manly dance.

Curt 2015/09/06(Sun)09:10 No. 667746 ID: b9cef6
File 144155585329.png - (132.40KB , 1147x860 , lQlvtFu.png )

>PUT ON THE SHOES
>SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT
You try your best, but there's no way that you'll be able to actually fit these onto your feet. They were made for a little girl; your feet are far too large.
And, you know what they say about guys with large feet.
They need shoes that are larger than a little girl's.
However, lack of shoes does not prevent you from BUSTING A MOVE.
You get ready, and-
>TEAR YOUR HAIR OUT AND STUFF IT IN THE SHOES
...what? How... What purpose does that serve? Why would you, or anyone else, do that? That's just... Why?
Wait, what were you doing again? You got distracted pondering the practicality of tearing your hair out.

Curt 2015/09/06(Sun)09:13 No. 667747 ID: b9cef6
File 144155600944.png - (124.74KB , 1147x860 , 4M6PuKy.png )

>CHECK FOR MORE ROOMS
You still haven't headed downstairs, and the secret room with the coffins remains unexplored.
>HEAD TO THE COFFINS
You EPON your way up the ladder, back in the coffins room. It would appear that nothing has changed while you were away.

open coffins. be ready for spoopy jumpscares.

Open the littlest coffin.

Style your hair into manly pigtails.

Knock the coffins over with disdain.

Curt 2015/09/20(Sun)12:53 No. 670916 ID: b9cef6
File 144277878686.jpg - (86.46KB , 1147x860 , MBAv18r.jpg )

>DO PIGTAILS
Yeah! Pigtails could be cool. Lots of awesome manly guys have had ponytails and pigtails and stuff. Like samurai! You're pretty sure you saw a picture of one of them with a ponytail once, and pigtails are just double pony tails, so you'd be, like, a double samurai. But, you don't have anything to tie your hair off with. Hm.
After a bit of critical thinking, you tear off a strip from the bottom of your dress temporary bedsheet covering. You consider tearing a second off, but that would make your dress kilt far too short. Unfortunately, you'll only be able to give yourself a pony tail, but you are more then manly enough that this should suffice.


>OPEN TINY COFFIN
>PREP FOR JUMPSCARES
You steel yourself. You've played enough scary games to know where this is going. You open the coffin on the far end; it has a small cat face engraved on it, and there's a bronzed plaque on the bottom which reads "Mr. Higglesbottom."
You inch open the coffin, and

Curt 2015/09/20(Sun)12:53 No. 670917 ID: b9cef6
File 144277883972.jpg - (104.91KB , 1147x860 , BaR4Yki.jpg )

AAAGH OW OW AAAH GET OFF
Something small, furry, and putrid smelling jumps at you, scratching at your face and screeching. You stumble about, knocking into the coffins as you attempt to tear the creature off your face, before it leaps off, clambering down the ladder. You can hear it tear down the stairs, down below.
In your panic, it looks like you knocked over the coffins, in a domino reaction. Most of them are still closed, but it looks as if the lock on one of them broke when it fell to the floor. The coffin isn't even hollow; it's a solid block of some lightweight wood. A quick knock on the others confirms that the only coffin with a hollow space inside was the one containing the beast that scratched up your face.

Go back down to a room with a mirror, check how badly cut up you are.

That cat might make a good pet... or might be infected. Find some disinfectant or alcohol, and plan a way to capture the cat.

>>670917
poor thing was probably trapped in there a while, no wonder it freaked out.