Then commit suicide or quit or stop or something.

dreamspy 2015/04/26(Sun)15:55 No. 636469 ID: b84f67
File 143008894450.png - (100.07KB , 780x772 , dimitr 2.png )

You’ve been chained to this rusty wall hook for so long, you’re starting to get that rash. The one with the pustules that form all over your back.

Being old sucks, Dimitr, don’t do that.

We can tell you’ve had it up to -here- and are about to bust loose though, right? Or are you going to seriously stand there another two hours waiting for your captor(s)?


>commit suicide

You’re gonna pass. If you wanted dead, you'd have let yourself get (worse) caught long ago, Dimitr.

summon rash monsters

Use your legs to hoist yourself up using the wall that way you can unhook those chains.

>>636469
Can't you just sortof jostle the chain off the hook?

dreamspy 2015/04/26(Sun)17:29 No. 636510 ID: b84f67
File 143009454420.png - (202.42KB , 900x820 , dimitr 3.png )

>>636477

Dimitr, your English SUCKS

Someone has put an old nail through this chain and cuffed you to it.

dreamspy 2015/04/26(Sun)17:30 No. 636511 ID: b84f67
File 143009460703.png - (74.20KB , 674x591 , dimitr 4.png )

>>636474

Ah. To be forty again. Then maybe you could muster the will power to bring your knee to your chest or something.

Use the pus to lubricate your wrists and slip out of the cuffs.

Bloody your wrists, then use your blood to lube your way out of the chains.

Maybe you don't need to lift your legs up that high...
Just sorta brace yourself against the wall and then pull on the chains& nail. If it comes out, kudos! I'm sure at that point you know a thing or two about self-defence to get out of here...Right?

Tearing up your wrists is a bad idea. Instead, just grab the chain in your hands and lean back, then start taking small tiptoeing steps up the wall. You'll get into a position where weight, leverage, and every major muscle group in your body are all working together to pull the nail out of the wall.

Then, after falling on your ass, wait for captors to return in whatever part of the room will allow you to garrote the first one back. While the strangling proceeds, use human shield to buy time for further assessment of the situation.

dreamspy 2015/04/26(Sun)20:59 No. 636579 ID: b84f67
File 143010714668.gif - (65.08KB , 900x937 , dimitr-5.gif )

> You'll get into a position where weight, leverage, and every major muscle group in your body are all working together to pull the nail out of the wall.

dreamspy 2015/04/26(Sun)21:17 No. 636582 ID: b84f67
File 143010824283.gif - (242.70KB , 900x900 , dimitr-6.gif )

> Then, after falling on your ass

...You try to reach around and scratch your back!

dreamspy 2015/04/26(Sun)21:27 No. 636587 ID: b84f67
File 143010886070.gif - (32.69KB , 900x900 , dimitr-7.gif )

>>636586

You land on your back and feel many of the irritations catch fire. Good think you opted not to put a nice carpet in this room.

>>636587
What did you even pull out of the wall?

>>636589
the coat rack. try to roll over.

Are you bleeding?

dreamspy 2015/05/21(Thu)16:58 No. 641899 ID: d44ee5
File 143225270808.png - (100.07KB , 674x591 , dimitr 8.png )

>>636595

Well, it's MOSTLY blood.

Kind of feels good, though. You know. Not like it felt two hours ago.

Feel free to flash back to two hours ago, Dimitr. But only if the rest of us fucking care.

>>641899
No. Just escape.

Call the police for help!

dreamspy 2015/05/21(Thu)17:11 No. 641910 ID: d44ee5
File 143225350031.png - (143.72KB , 674x591 , dimitr 09.png )

>>641906

You're considering calling in for backup but you think that might piss off your capture and also it might be embarrassing to yourself.

How will you make your escape?

You have just sweat pants and socks on. You have no idea where the key to the handcuffs is.

Can't you just walk out?

dreamspy 2015/05/21(Thu)17:19 No. 641913 ID: d44ee5
File 143225399637.png - (160.64KB , 674x591 , dimitr 11.png )

>>641911
You suppose it's a nice enough day for that, Dimitr. It's an overcast day in late spring. The humidity is fucking prime as shit.

You grab the newspaper on your way out.

Curt 2015/05/21(Thu)17:21 No. 641914 ID: b9cef6

Enlist the assistance of that cat to undo your cuffs.

dreamspy 2015/05/21(Thu)17:31 No. 641916 ID: d44ee5
File 143225467541.png - (186.32KB , 674x591 , dimitr 12.png )

She is just a stray. The less attention you give her, the more she gives you. You find this to be exemplary of what you'd expect of a decent human being as well.

Oh, Valdimir, you hum. Who do you think you're fooling. You flip to the business section.

What you wouldn't do for a hot coffee. You can talk about coffee for an hour but only if everyone else wants to. They won't want to, but you'll keep thinking about coffee.

>>641916
Of course we wanna hear about hot coffee.

dreamspy 2015/05/21(Thu)17:44 No. 641918 ID: d44ee5
File 143225547535.png - (133.81KB , 674x591 , dimitr 13.png )

>>641917

You of course are paid in coffee, or, rather, you get away with importing coffee through a check point it shouldn't be imported through.

You are sure you got into drinking it because of your mother. She would take you to the grocery store and get the beans from the coffee aisle while you would pick up random stray ones from the floor or shelves and just suck on them. When she drank it, it'd fuck her right up. You didn't inherit her ability to get high on it, though. Just the taste for it.

You sometimes wonder if your mother's thing with coffee was what kept her distant from the rest of her family. You were never very close with any of them. Did you mention you grind the beans yourself? Or sometimes you do. You'll drink instant, too, if you have to. Or a nice tea. Tea is nothing like coffee, granted. But the caffeine is still there. Maybe you are addicted to it but without the same benefits your mother enjoyed.

You talk yourself in circles like this while also reading the news paper. You must be pretty smart, Dimitr.

Anything interesting in the paper?

dreamspy 2015/05/21(Thu)18:49 No. 641942 ID: d44ee5
File 143225934326.gif - (687.78KB , 900x506 , dimitr-14.gif )

>>641919

You haven't been very scientific about it but you believe that every time something fantastical is on the front page, the financial report is more positive.

You mostly invest in foreign interests. Gotta think of the future.

Well, at least you won't look out of place running around without a shirt.

how's that back rash doing

dreamspy 2015/05/21(Thu)19:07 No. 641955 ID: d44ee5
File 143226042409.png - (79.64KB , 674x591 , dimitr 15.png )

>>641951

This thought makes you chuckle.

dreamspy 2015/05/21(Thu)19:10 No. 641959 ID: d44ee5
File 143226062991.png - (74.87KB , 674x591 , dimitr 16.png )

>>641953

Don't flatter yourself, Old Man. You are a sexually dysfunctional dust muffin and you're pretty sure everyone at the bureau knows.

The rash still hurts a bit. It will probably keep giving you trouble all day. You almost wish your capturer would come back and end this.

why were you chained to the wall in the first place

dreamspy 2015/05/21(Thu)20:06 No. 641985 ID: d44ee5
File 143226399472.png - (99.37KB , 674x591 , dimitr 17.png )

>>641963

Well, when you were a young man, you lived for adventure. You may have subconsciously been hoping to relive some of that.

Post script: it looks like the cat has detected the sound of someone approaching before you can even hear it yet.

Get in position to punch person in the face before they come around the corner. If it's your captor.

dreamspy 2015/05/21(Thu)20:16 No. 641991 ID: d44ee5
File 143226458953.png - (81.79KB , 674x591 , dimitr 18.png )

>>641988

WHICH corner?

>>641991
The one the cat was looking in the direction of, of course.

dreamspy 2015/05/21(Thu)20:36 No. 641999 ID: d44ee5
File 143226578143.png - (184.39KB , 674x591 , dimitr 19.png )

>>641992

You're just gonna go back inside. You are not just ready to face your captorerer yet.

Look for a weapon. Anything good in that umbrella stand?

Dimitr, is this your house?
Do you have anywhere you'd have set up to hide from your captor while you ready yourself?

dreamspy 2015/05/21(Thu)21:15 No. 642014 ID: d44ee5
File 143226812053.png - (146.17KB , 674x591 , dimitr 20.png )

>>642007

Yes.

Umbrellas.

>>642014
Please tell me those are the cool spy kind of umbrella with a gun or sword built into it.

dreamspy 2015/05/21(Thu)21:29 No. 642020 ID: d44ee5
File 143226897704.png - (127.30KB , 674x591 , dimitr 21.png )

>>642018
No, but it didn't need to be.

Your pursuer just walked right past you. You can't believe it worked, even on him.

He moves past you to the kitchen, laden with what smells to be fresh coffee.

DAMN him.

Review what you know about your captor. If nada, perform some reconnaissance while their attention is captured by caffeine.

dreamspy 2015/05/22(Fri)08:59 No. 642100 ID: d44ee5
File 143231038976.png - (88.62KB , 600x526 , dimitr 22.png )

>>642095
He's taller than you at 5'11 to your measly 5'8
He's 36 years old, birthday in April. Seven years junior to you.
Dirty blond hair that seems to be naturally so
Married, no kids.
Code name: Wheel

Descended from Sweden, you think, and several other nations. Most notably (and least documented) he hails from genetic stock that was very nearly wiped out in the second world war. The things you know about this race are things you only know because you aren't supposed to know them. Most government records have been purged of their origin. All that remains is hearsay and folklore and some documents you managed to steal before they could be destroyed.

He works for an organization opposing yours as a handler for an informant who you suspect works in the organization YOU work for. You're on a need-to-know basis on all that. You, likewise, work as a handler for an informant situated in the organization HE works for. You have one contact you answer to within the organization and you know very little about operations other than what they tell you through her. You're discrete and like to pay bills on time.

Discretion is not always your pursuer's strong suit. You happen to know he's good with a firearm but getting caught with one in these times would risk his position.

So, making this guy not alive anymore would be something your employer approves of? Walk over quietly and strangle him from behind using the chain part of your handcuffs, then drag the corpse out to the garden before he shits all over the floor. Finally, search his pockets for the handcuff key.

>>642112
He has a container of hot liquid in his hands. Hold the umbrella in front of you as a liquid shield, then when you're right behind him strangle him with your cuffs.

dreamspy 2015/05/22(Fri)11:27 No. 642116 ID: d44ee5
File 143231925641.png - (262.29KB , 900x789 , dimitr 23.png )

He calls you, mispronouncing your name as though it were endearing.

'Dimi-dear.'

He doesn't know you've escaped, yet.

Look out for boiling coffee attack!

dreamspy 2015/05/22(Fri)11:58 No. 642118 ID: d44ee5
File 143232108099.gif - (234.43KB , 900x789 , dimitr-24.gif )

'Hey, honey, how was work.'

He doesn't even drop the coffee.

Pour victory coffee on his pants. The justice, it burnnns!

dreamspy 2015/05/22(Fri)14:41 No. 642145 ID: d44ee5
File 143233086338.png - (128.41KB , 600x526 , dimitr 25.png )

>>642136
You snatch the precious coffee away from him and cradle it in your arms like the child you never had then threaten to douse the front of his pants with it in a way that makes it obvious how jealous you are of his junk.

'I'm sorry, Daddy, I was - detoured!'

Excuses excuses.

>I'm sorry, Daddy
This just kind of weird, here.

Stomp his nuts and face till he's out and get the key.

dreamspy 2015/05/22(Fri)16:38 No. 642186 ID: d44ee5
File 143233791805.png - (105.63KB , 600x526 , dimitr 26.png )

>>642179
Yeah, you hate all his pet names.

You're not gonna step on his balls, though. Let's get real.

You're the sub and he's a really. Just really.. truly irresponsible dom.

dreamspy 2015/05/22(Fri)21:56 No. 642252 ID: d44ee5
File 143235701542.png - (145.30KB , 600x526 , dimitr 28.png )

>>642112
You drag him out back to the garden and calmly explain to him over coffee that you and you wife are trying very, very hard right now to have a baby while you, especially, are still young. You describe to him at length, in an even tone, that today is your day off. This has the desired effect of making him squirm.

dreamspy 2015/05/23(Sat)09:18 No. 642326 ID: d44ee5
File 143239788772.png - (147.37KB , 600x526 , dimitr 29.png )

'Oh god, this is it. You're going to kill me.'

You could totally kill him and get away with it. Everyone already thinks you're crazy and murdering your best buddy of ten years would probably just circulate further rumors about you rather than becoming the crown jewel in your list of crazy.

You're kind of annoyed the author tried to M. Night Shyamalan this mess and consider watching the whole movie again from the top to try and get your bearings.

Kill him anyways and move to Paris.

dreamspy 2015/05/23(Sat)09:32 No. 642330 ID: d44ee5
File 143239873813.png - (72.74KB , 600x526 , dimitr 30.png )

>>642327
Oh, he's right, you're loosing your grip. Seen too much shit, probably. Oh man. Oh god. OH man. OH god.

How will you do it. How are you going to fucking kill your goddamn life partner.

No dont kill him, he has huge junk. Are you seriously thinking of wasting such a magnificent piece of epquipment?

Stuff your dick into his mouth and make him choke on it, like he did to you so many times.

dreamspy 2015/05/23(Sat)10:20 No. 642339 ID: d44ee5
File 143240165464.png - (83.94KB , 600x526 , dimitr 31.png )

>>642333
>>642334

'Apologize for leaving me chained to a wall without the key for two hours.'

'Um. You can have my coffee.'

'Apologize.'

'Um.'

'Apologize or I'll kill you.'

'!!!!'

'APOLPGIZE, ALEXI.'

'How about a nice blow job?' He offers.

He knows you hate getting blowjobs. Unbelievable.

>He knows you hate getting blowjobs. Unbelievable.
Maybe you wouldn't have reason to object if he didn't have those pointy shark teeth.

Well, that's it. You'll have to punish him, now.

dreamspy 2015/05/23(Sat)10:42 No. 642349 ID: d44ee5
File 143240295630.png - (69.44KB , 600x526 , dimitr 32.png )

>>642342
You both have fucked up teeth. It's a genetic thing having to do with that 'lost race' you mentioned earlier. The witch doctor told you so.

And if by 'punish' you mean 'be passive aggressive' then:

'I'm taking a cold shower,' you say, turning around slowly to reveal the gross shit that happens to your skin when you stay hot and bothered too long and can't touch it.

Spank his ass and fuck him.

dreamspy 2015/05/23(Sat)11:01 No. 642358 ID: d44ee5
File 143240408738.png - (97.64KB , 600x526 , dimitr 33.png )

>>642350

DAMNIT, Alexi, they weren't talking to you!

He could tell you wanted him to do something but apparently couldn't tell what it was.

What was it you wanted him to do, anyway? Nibble your back blood?

Ya nasty.

dreamspy 2015/05/23(Sat)21:15 No. 642533 ID: d44ee5
File 143244091865.png - (82.71KB , 600x526 , dimitr 34.png )

You transport to the mind of Alexi a few minutes into the past.

You just got done picking up some sensitive materials from a secret position used as an information drop off point for a woman you handle within a certain organization whose name and objectives you are not a liberty to address.

There were delays and mix-ups and as a result you are running very late for a really important operation back home. You have just purchased apology coffee, even though this has made you even later getting back than you would have already been. But what's fifteen minutes in the grand scheme of things, right?

Dimitr probably had another key, right? He's probably escaped by now. Or maybe like four hours chained to a wall isn't so bad, right?

He is going to be so pissed, Alexi.

New objective: don't let your husband be so pissed he kills you in you sleep and no one ever finds the body

Kiss up to him and take care of his back rash.

Yus. Be using the medicines to fix the gross-ass bloody pustules (of love) all over his back.
Love is two parts fun to twenty parts toil.

dreamspy 2015/05/23(Sat)23:39 No. 642572 ID: d44ee5
File 143244957501.png - (112.53KB , 600x526 , dimitr 35.png )

>>642014
You come home to find the front door still open. Did you leave in that much of a hurry when you got the call? Probably. You're a little absent minded lol.

>>642116
You call out to him in the sweetest voice you can muster:ignoring the fact that he hates the whole pomp and circumstance of lovey dovey baby cutesy names. It's just not his deal.

>>642118
What's that sound from behind AH it's Dimitr Dozmorov. He's got CHAINS on his HANDS and now they're on your NECK! A BEAR trap! You shimmy away, barely alive, blood oozing from your stump leg.

Disclaimer, Dimitr's not a bear. He's more of what they call a otter but like if the otter had no hair.

(current panel) He drags you out to the garden, you begging, pleading with him.

You can already tell you're in for a stern, quasi-fatherly lecture.

>>642252
>Love is two parts fun to twenty parts toil.
He takes the time to remind you that relationships don't just happen. They take work and participation from everyone involved. He implies, however gently, you are not meeting him halfway then reminds you that you had like five mothers and they all got along fine and do you know why Alexi it's because they all worked at it five moms and six daughters and you, Alexi, do you think they had issues like this yes every relationship does but you work on them. He then takes a moment to segue this topic into how this is supposed to be both your days off to work out your weird inherited biologies together.

>>642326
This conversation is getting uncomfortably intimate for you and you feel and intense need to strange it up. You distract him.

dreamspy 2015/05/24(Sun)09:22 No. 642651 ID: d44ee5
File 143248454986.png - (117.77KB , 600x526 , dimitr 36.png )

He gets up to go back inside and take a shower, ending the conversation abruptly after you offer him an apology blow job. But then as he turns, looking pointedly over his shoulder towards you, he presents a magnificent array of improperly exalted bodily fluid. It is nasty. You like the sight of blood as much as the next creepazoid, but this looks like a job for that witch doctor you keep seeing. You're sure he wants YOU to do something about it, though. Something grody that he'll almost certainly be getting off on.

>spank his taught little butt, disinteresting him from getting a back job
>just ravage him without any build up at all, even though he is a man who needs about 99% build up and 1% pay off and you knew this when you married him and there's really no excuse for that kind of overture
>just clean up the back problem in an unsexy way
>give the man what he wants

Clean up his back. He'll appreciate it.

dreamspy 2015/05/24(Sun)09:48 No. 642656 ID: d44ee5
File 143248612377.png - (135.67KB , 600x526 , dimitr 37.png )

>>642653
>>642534

You're not in the mood for make-up sex. Work was stressful and the mood is ruined.

You offer to join him in the restroom and he seems to accept. Pretty sure he's pouting though.

The next order of business is to hand off the documents to him so he can do HIS job. But maybe you should procrastinate some.

dreamspy 2015/05/24(Sun)11:11 No. 642663 ID: d44ee5
File 143249107810.png - (105.42KB , 600x526 , dimitr 38.png )

He comes out of the shower a little later looking much better but he is clearly pissed he's having to go to work on a Sunday. He snatches the materials from you. You didn't open them or peruse their context and neither shall he.

dreamspy 2015/05/24(Sun)11:12 No. 642665 ID: d44ee5
File 143249113456.png - (95.28KB , 600x526 , dimitr 39.png )

He takes a different car out from the one you drove and pulls into the drive way. You see him off and find it hard to muster waving goodbye when he's gritting his teeth like that.

>change character
>stay being Alexi and come up with plans to cheer up Dimitr
>talk about cars for an hour

dreamspy 2015/05/24(Sun)12:05 No. 642683 ID: d44ee5
File 143249432539.png - (153.98KB , 600x526 , dimitr 40.png )

You're just gonna be Dimitr now.

….
...
...
Maybe you were too hard on the kid.

>y
>n
>focus on your work, dumbass

focus on your work and on driving, you dont wanna end up crashing from overthinking

dreamspy 2015/05/24(Sun)14:40 No. 642714 ID: d44ee5
File 143250360583.png - (94.85KB , 600x526 , dimitr 42.png )

>>642684
You've got no traffic violations on your record.

Your objective is to drive two hours to the second-nearest city. You are to park a 40 minute or longer walk away from a particular parking garage where you will hide the documents in a crack between two buildings and pick up any new materials that might be there. Alternatively you may stop in a particular women's shoe store where you will look inside a particular pay phone to make sure the drop of point has not changed. It hasn't changed in almost two years and you've gotten lazy about this point. You still go to the store though, but just shop for men's shoes so it looks like you were just shopping in the big city. You may then have your partner return the shoes at a later date, giving the impression you have shopping addiction.

You have no time frame for how many extra steps should be taken to cover your trail. You may stop at a country store or gas station somewhere out of the way or visit a farm or what ever you'd like to do to waste the time of people who might be following you. You like to draw out these things and often visit a certain park every month like clock work just to mess with them, if they are there. And you have sources who imply you are very good at wasting the time of those tasked with tracking you.

You'd like to get this thing done quickly, though, so you can get home.