First things first you need to chase the children off your lawn. Then since your assets lack food items it is time to go grocery shopping, while wearing the bunny slippers.

>>622327
Investigate your fridge.

>>622328
Land-mines. That'll teach them ornery whippersnappers what's what!

>>622327
Check texts/emails?

ArtisanBubblegum 2015/01/27(Tue)00:29 No. 622431 ID: 8625c4
File 142234737267.jpg - (442.39KB , 1200x1200 , Old Quest 002.jpg )

>>622328
You already chased the Children off your lawn on your way in.

>>622334
You think about going to the store, buy realize that your fridge is closer and you are pretty lazy.

>>622344
You've tried that before, and would rather not hire a new gardener...

>>622369
You check for any messages:
Bills
Bills
Bills
You May Have Already Won!
Bills
New Bounties
Mysterious Package Labeled, "18+"

Open up the mysterious package. Nothing bad could ever happen!

Are you sure it's not "+81"? :3 You might need to wait a few years. Or maybe it'll add 81 years to your age.

>You May Have Already Won!
Ooh! Ooh! What may you have already won? That sounds promising.

Wait what were we doing again, I forgot.

ArtisanBubblegum 2015/01/27(Tue)16:31 No. 622524 ID: 8625c4
File 142240510174.jpg - (879.92KB , 1200x1200 , Old Quest 003.jpg )

>>622469
You Try, but the darn adhesive is too strong!

>>622492
You'll have to open the package somehow if you want to find out!

>>622497
You can't seem to read most of the Letter, but you think you've got the important stuff looked at...

>>622518
You're too tired and hungry to have those kinds of thoughts right now.

>>622431
Are those eggs and milk expired? Do you have an icepick to retrieve those frozen dinners?

>>622524
Do you have scissors to open the package?

>>622524
shoot package with grappling hook. that'll definitally open the package.

That's odd why would they need a credit card number to give you money, you usually only use a credit card if you're paying them.

>>622541
Well it's a scam, obviously.

>>622524
no no, don't SHOOT the package, use the sharp parts of the hook on the grapple hook to cut open the package!

>>622562
What no, how could it be a scam. See, there's a number there, for money. Money isn't a scam, even if it you trust it a little less since the gold standard went away.

ArtisanBubblegum 2015/01/30(Fri)16:24 No. 622907 ID: 8625c4
File 142266387191.gif - (259.74KB , 1200x1200 , Old Quest 004.gif )

>>622525
The expiration dates are too small to read,
You'll have to check the old fashion way!

ArtisanBubblegum 2015/01/30(Fri)16:26 No. 622908 ID: 8625c4
File 142266395919.gif - (560.72KB , 1200x1200 , Old Quest 005.gif )

>>622539
>>622606
You can't remember where you left your scissors and the grappling hook has points but no edges...
No other choice!
(Animated)

>>622907
Animated, btw...

>>622541
>>622562
>>622616
You'll debated this in the morning, after you sleep.

You can check if the eggs are bad by seeing if they float, but you need to go to the store anyway. Put together a shopping list.

>>622908
Well. Found the scissors.

Check remains of the package. What was it?

ArtisanBubblegum 2015/01/31(Sat)21:05 No. 623061 ID: 8625c4
File 142276713678.jpg - (100.20KB , 1200x1200 , Old Quest 005 Frame 2.jpg )

>>622952
Remains?
The blasted thing is near indestructible!

ArtisanBubblegum 2015/01/31(Sat)21:19 No. 623066 ID: 8625c4
File 142276797255.jpg - (134.03KB , 1200x1200 , Old Quest 007.jpg )

>>622912
The eggs sink,
"That means they're good right?"

You You start a shopping list:
Milk Half Gal.

Third times the charm, Please work...

ArtisanBubblegum 2015/01/31(Sat)23:51 No. 623086 ID: 8625c4
File 142277707151.jpg - (786.65KB , 1200x1200 , Old Quest 008.jpg )

>>622525
You use the scissors to open the package.

plug that dank-ass shit in, old man

>>623066
Eggs that sink are good, yes. Boil them to be sure, and wash your hands after handling them.

ArtisanBubblegum 2015/02/01(Sun)05:26 No. 623098 ID: 8625c4
File 142279720961.jpg - (173.50KB , 1200x1200 , Old Quest 009.jpg )

>>623090
You start the eggs boiling.
You washed your hands before and after handling the eggs

ArtisanBubblegum 2015/02/01(Sun)05:30 No. 623099 ID: 8625c4
File 142279744115.gif - (2.42MB , 1200x1200 , Old Quest 010.gif )

While the eggs are boiling,

>>623087
You plug that Dank-Ass Shit in, Dawg.
(Animated)

ArtisanBubblegum 2015/02/01(Sun)05:52 No. 623101 ID: 8625c4
File 142279874409.jpg - (64.87KB , 1200x1200 , Old Quest 011.jpg )

>>623098
Items Acquired!
Two Boiled Eggs

>>623101
Delicious. That video looked like it was referencing the scam letter. Read more of it to see if there's a hidden message in it or something.

>>623099
What is this nonsense. Someone taped over the good bits of the game!

ArtisanBubblegum 2015/02/04(Wed)06:27 No. 623486 ID: 8625c4
File 142306005056.gif - (903.87KB , 1200x1200 , Old Quest 012ver2.gif )

You eat the boiled Eggs,

------------------------
Active Mission: Got Home
Objectives:
[x] Hungry
[ ] Tired
------------------------

>>623231
Yeah! You didn't go to all that trouble to get some kind of cryptic message!
All though that game looks kinda familiar...

>>623135
You begin to read the Terms of Entry, but they are so boring and you're so tired...
(Animated)

ArtisanBubblegum 2015/02/04(Wed)06:36 No. 623487 ID: 8625c4
File 142306061895.jpg - (258.08KB , 1200x1200 , Old Quest 013.jpg )

You can spend your points in a few ways:

1 point = Chose/Advance Primary Class
2 points = Chose/Advance Secondary Class (Requires A Primary Class be chosen)
3 Points = Advance a Skill by +20 (Mas Skill: 200)
5 Points = Something Crazy

If Choosing a Class, make a suggestion.
Remember A class isn't a profession.
Here's a few examples: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ArchetypalCharacter

Hahaha, I kinda wanna save the point until next level just to find out what "something crazy" is.

Agreed, save up for potentially crazy stuff.

Hell, who knows, might get an extra yolk in an egg or something.

ArtisanBubblegum 2015/02/05(Thu)21:07 No. 623719 ID: 8625c4
File 142319923871.jpg - (2.06MB , 1200x1200 , Old Quest 014.jpg )

"leveling up is too complicated!"
You chose to skip past the level up screen without spending any points.

You /wake up/ feeling a little weird.
You are now having a dream.
While in the dream world you can give suggestions to the environment and any character you come across, along with giving Gerald Suggestions like normal.

Do a sweet backflip.

Wave to the crowd.

Secrete a baseball from your facial pores, grab a hammer, and hit a homerun!

ArtisanBubblegum 2015/02/06(Fri)01:14 No. 623736 ID: 8625c4
File 142321407320.gif - (12.61MB , 1200x1200 , Old Quest 015.gif )

>>623724
I'll try.

>>623725
The fans always go nuts over that kind of thing.

>>623729
1. I'm not sure how I would draw that.
2. Thank god, I'm not sure how I would draw that.
(Animated)

ArtisanBubblegum 2015/02/06(Fri)01:20 No. 623738 ID: 8625c4
File 142321442648.jpg - (1.17MB , 1200x1200 , Old Quest 012 Frame 34.jpg )

You start to feel dismayed.

Bases are loaded, just knock this one out of the park. Batter up!

>>623738
You're about to change that, I'm not sure how, but you are!

>>623743
Yeah! All 19 of them!

Rather than hit the ball with your bat, catch it in your iron choppers and spit that shit outta the park!

>>623777
Precisely!

And if that doesn't work, hit 19 home runs, one after the other, no breaks!