Blow on your nipples until they get super hard, then use them to file down the bars.

what do you know of the prison, what do you know of the guards, what do you know of the other inmates, and do you have a cell mate or do you at least have the cell to yourself?

Fellate a guard.

Wait, escape plan? Find someone more knowledgeable about the prison.

List assets.

No, not the ones on your chest. What stuff do you have to work with?

Uh, how much of those 20 years have you spent in there to modify your prison uniform so? Do you think you're some tough shit in the hierarchy? You don't even have tattoos to recount your criminal life.

Plebest of plebeians.

Question 1: How many explosives did you smuggle in?

BREAK THEM.

Well, first. What sort of prison are we in? What does the room look like?

Where the hell are we and what can you do?

Nako 2015/01/20(Tue)20:19 No. 621393 ID: 265534
File 142181395568.png - (204.44KB , 800x600 , 2.png )

>>621385
Like a week and fuck you, man. You expect a goblin to dedicate to one design? If I want something different a few minutes later? Because I would. I'll just paint smiley faces on my tits and put on a god damn puppet show when the mood strikes me.

>>621387
They search prisoners a lot more than when I was a kid. Can't even sneak in grenades way up in your butthole.

>>621383
Fuck, you stupid. Like, holy shit. If I want something, I'll need to sneak it and hide it somehow.

>>621381
"Hey, new guy! Ever been sucked off by a felon? C'mon, I don't bite. Well, I mean, they have magic to grow it back, right? Worth it, if you ask me. I've been sucking dick since your grandma was in diapers, probably pretty good..."

Hahaha! Fucker's thinking about it now.

Xula and Ragi are in here too, so I can use them if I need them in whatever I figure out.

>Look around cell and bedframe for loose screws to fashion into shivs

>>621393
We will need information about the prison. Do they use magic in any ways? Was the prison actually designed to hold a goblin? You almost look like you could struggle between the bars if you had enough time and some butter.

Where is the prison located? On an island? Near or even inside a city?

And lastly: how disposable are Xula and Ragi?

pick pocket guard

Can we have a look at your entire cell and whatever you can see out the cells? We need a good idea of what we're working with, here.

Keep seducing your way out, or alternately, just enough to get him close enough to steal his keys or something. You may have to show some skin to make it work though, and that is if every guard in the prison isn't already used to this kind of shenanigans coming from you.

Focus on finding and building tools that you can use to break out. The guards are going to search you thoroughly, so do not seduce them or they'll get sketchy during routine inspections. Instead, get crazy - it might hurt, but if you stab yourself with stuff - pins, lockpicks, shivs - you can hide them in your arms and the guards will be too busy looking "elsewhere".

Thou vexed? Confirmed for babby's first time doing prison time. Doesn't even know that prison tats aren't about designs.

Enough roasting for now. Is this a unisex prison or not? In either case, the warden is an idiot. And most importantly - who and what are Xula and Ragi?

Are you let out of your cages at any point? How sturdy are the walls?

Nako 2015/01/21(Wed)14:11 No. 621486 ID: 265534
File 142187829225.png - (100.34KB , 800x600 , 3.png )

Meh... It's a prison, with cells and areas with cells in them. It's enough outside of Belja that you're going to be walking through the wild for a long while.

>>621410
Guards don't like walking right up against the bars and my arms aren't that long for some reason. Otherwise this would be a great plan.

>>621468
Most of the day we can move around the common areas, go to the cafeteria for meals.

>>621450
Splitting up men and women wouldn't stop prisoners from fucking each other, if that's what you're worried about. They keep cellmates same sex, though. It wouldn't be punishment if I was bunking with some big muscular dude.

>>621427
My preferences are firmly on hurting people who aren't me. Maybe I could stab them into someone else...

Xula and Ragi are the two goblins from the bank job. I'm in charge and I guess I could stand to throw them under the wagon if I need to. There's never a shortage of goblins.

who the hell is in the bottom bunk?

eh I say wait for now and when they let you out to mingle find your old henchmen and see what they know about this place and then see what the other cons in here are like. Depending on what we find we could either start a riot or see if we can't find someone to give us enough ingredients to make a bomb and escape with a bang. Or you know whatever else happens to pop up when we're looking for bodies to help us escape.

Oh, you adorable little thing. Dividing by sex is done because of the guards, not prisoners, in order to prevent stupid rookies like the one from just a minute ago from getting into temptation to connoisseur greenskin orifices. Which is why your warden is evidently an idiot.

If Xula and Ragi are anything like you, don't trust them farther than you can throw them. Which, depending on your physical strength and their mass, might either be a very good or a very bad metaphor.

That being said, milk the fact that you've got Johnsons around as your guards for all its money and do try to not piss someone off until you know who you should piss off.

Do the guards ever let you out of the cell?
o get some exercise in the yard, get some food, do some hard labor... anything?

>>621486
Evaluate cellmate for usefulness.

Also: do Xula or Ragi know you well enough that they could blab to the law and get you screwed over again? I suspect its best to escape with them, or eliminate them.

>>621486
you could start pretending to do something to escape, a guard would notice, come into the cell and then you just kinda punch him. I mean, how powerful are you? These guys probably have some sort of weapon on them.

Hm. Look out the window, figure out where you are?

Nako 2015/01/22(Thu)08:04 No. 621590 ID: 265534
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>>621490
You already said either way was stupid anyway, ya dumb shit.

>>621505
Out in the boonies. I already said this.

>>621493
My cellmate's useless and lazy. No potential here.

What items do you have on you? And what race is your cellmate.

>>621590
The only way for you to get something in the cell is to ingest it, then? or manage to get back in your cell during some revolt?

any idea what she's in for?

But yeah I think I might have and idea on how to get out of here but I need to see more of the prison to be sure. When they let you move around next try to explore as much as you can.

>My cellmate's useless and lazy. No potential here.
Well, uh, she's big. Meaning she's got potential use as a meatshield to hide behind. Or you could always drop her on someone. Or fuck, maybe the guard will be more susceptible to furry tits than green tits.

What's she in for?

>how get out
Well, there a few routes to power and/or escape in prison.

You could try to curry favor with guards, but that one didn't seem terribly interested in you. You could try to build up a power base, people loyal to you, but that's a lot of work, and not only will you have to motivate lazy assholes like your roommate, you'll have to deal with other bosses upset you're horning in.

Easiest and fastest thing to do might be contraband. Steal something from the kitchen or common area to make a weapon. It's a start.

You're a woman, she's a woman, you have hiding places. Seeing as you have no tools currently on hand, you should get tools during chow or some other time. Hide them away, but be redundant. Try not to hide stolen forks/spoons in the obvious orifices. If you do, hide an extra, elsewhere.

>>621590
And yet you managed to misunderstand what I said twice in a row, tits-for-brains. And you're probably going to go for the third strike. I'm starting to get how you got yourself caught.

What is your cellmate? A gnoll? Don't gnoll females have pseudo-mansticks? Congratulations, you probably found a use for her.

>>621616
examine gnoll crotch to clarify that those rumors are dumb, stupid and wrong

>>621616
That is bad, but yes confirm this, with pants off, facing the guard. honeypot that guard.

First rule of prison breaks: check the hinges on the cell door. Sometimes, with a bit of power, you can just lift them right off. Then your cellmate will be good for something.

Also, are you sure you can't just squeeze through the bars?

Hrrm...
First things first, what kind of security is on you beyond those bars and that gaurd?
If you're gonna blast out, we'll need to know what you're up against.
How many different gaurds have you seen so far? How long are their shifts?
And once you pop out, any ideas where you can go?

Nako 2015/01/23(Fri)00:02 No. 621725 ID: 265534
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"Why should I get up? I'm just going to lay here until I get out of here, then I guess I'll get knocked up by some roving pack of bandits and die in a ditch at the age of twenty five. It's the best I can hope for."

Don't mind her. Her name's R'sarri or something. She's just depressed because some local yokels gave her 'we don't like yer kind 'round here' treatment and I guess she got a little too excessive in defending herself and got nailed with six months for it.

"Get over it. They had it comin' for being dicks."


"I ripped one of their arms off," she grumbles.


"Well, probably still deserved it."


"With my teeth, now I'll just be the dog monster that eats people. They'll never give me that scholarship now. They'll probably decide gnolls are too dangerous to live in civilized society and round us up into camps, then genocide our entire race and it'll be all my fault."

"That's a bit excessive..."

"Then other races like the goblins will go to war, because it might happen to them too, since they're considered violent, stupid, ignorant halfwits."

"Hey!"

"The entire world will be reduced to a blasted hellscape because I lost my temper."


So this is what I have to deal with, and no, there's nothing flopping around anywhere. God damn.

Someone needs a slap, or a splash of cold water to the face.

>>621725
...Fuckin smack her. The fucking world doesn't revolve around her.

>>621725
Tell her she can join your gang. You promise you don't get caught very often!

>>621725

recruit/befriend her. She can tear people's arms off. You can always make use of a skill like that.

Also what's with going topless?

i dont think beating hers gonna help, besides she doesnt seem that intersted in escape at the moment. Do you know anything about her that could help convince her to help

>>621725
Tell her she won't get knocked up if she goes lesbian
Tell her to embrace her gnoll heritage and take the scholarship anyway. Fuck what people think, get what YOU want, don't let what you think about them in the way.

She's a fucking teenager or young adult, not lazy and useless. Give her a little direction and hope and she'll do fine. She's clearly a sociopath like you that just doesn't know how to use her sociopath. Stop making her whole thing about being a gnoll and about being her. You're violent and love it because you're you. I mean, come on, explosions create adrenaline no matter what race you are, so you love violence and sex.

Now, I'm sure she'll love violence and gore if she just takes to it and makes it a part of her self instead of her race. And college is bullshit. Learn what you need on your own, bitch! Spells? Threaten some mage to teach you? Maths? A poindexter instead. Cooking? A chef! Then cook the chef!

Tell her that it couldn't have been so bad if she only got six months for it. Or is the system really that lax that grievous bodily harm is not a big deal?

And what are you getting upset over? She described you pretty well. Stereotypes are at the very least somewhat grounded in reality and at this time, you did nothing but perpetuate said stereotype.

>>621725

Tell her she should have told them the violence was part of her cultural heritage. If she'd heard talk like that and NOT attacked them, she would have been insulting them! Ripping an arm off was her way of saying they were respectable people and worthy of her time.

Seriously though, if she's bemoaning her scholarship then maybe you can convince her with money.

DOES SHE HAVE A LADY DICK!! THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT!

>>621743
COMMON, MOTHERFUCKER! CAN YOU READ IT?

She already commented there is no dong in that general area.

Tell her a world that allows that deserves it anyway.

>>621725
God is she self important, ask her why she thinks the universe revolves around her so heavily that one mistake by her will apparently lead to the apocalypse. It takes a lot of stupid actions by a lot of stupid people to cause the kind of dooms days she's predicting.

>>621751
I don't think she's stupid, just probably naive and having a panic attack or something.

>>621743
Read, numbnuts. No she doesn't.
Okay so webe established that shes a very depressed gnoll, who can rip arms off. Which means shes pretty damn strong. So either you can work on that depression with some good old improper behavior or try and get the guards to make a slip-up.

uh, do they do military scholarships here? You know that thing where they pay for you collage schooling if you join the military for a certain amount of time. Maybe if you bring that up she'll stop being mopey long enough for you to plan your escape.

Also how long are you in for and do you have any soap in your cell? with the right ingredients soup can make a decent size boom.

Okay, she's morose and depressed. That's useful in the sense that if you wanted a minion, she's ripe for being exploited or given a new purpose. Someone's already gone through the trouble of breaking her down for you.

...although a schoolgirl who got into a fight doesn't really strike me as the best minion, or muscle.

Yeah, just slap her. Idiot. Did people genocide all the minotaurs the first time they gored someone with their horns? Or the goblins the first time we built a bomb? Or the fucking kobolds the first time they pulled that trap shit? No one gives a shit.

We live in a medieval world where they literally put bounties on the wall encouraging people to go beat each other to pieces. For money. Sanctioned by our no-good government. No one's going to give a shit about one brawl.

>>621725
Hold on.. Scholarship?
She's smart enough that someone might have been willing to pay for her to go to school?

She might have some useful skills knocking around in that depressed doglike brain of hers.

>>621725
Slap some sense into her tits and tell her it'll be fine, this'll blow over. The great thing about racism is they think you all look alike, so they'll assume you're a different gnoll if you, I dunno, cut your hair or something and you'll have a clean slate.

>>621759
this

>>621759
She ripped off someone's arm with her teeth. I'm sure she'll do great as muscle.

Let's not slap the lady who can tear off an arm at a moment's notice.

Ask what her scholarship was going to be for

We could always bug her about NOT having a lady-stick. That might work to at least stop her from acting all emo.

Tell her to stop being such a selfish cunt and get some motivation in life.
Gods, I hate people who make everything about them.

>>621725
She is adorbs, even when moping. You must keep her.

That is probably the least motivated gnoll in the history of gnolls. Depression is a hell of a thing. Explain to her that with the right attitude she can get knocked up at least a half dozen times and die in a more comfortable ditch at twice that age.

Also looting and plunder between then and now. Gnolls are excessively good at both.

Sounds like R'sarri or whatever her name is needs some motivation. Inform her that she is now your bitch and will be doing all your work for you until both of you escape.

Nako 2015/01/28(Wed)09:49 No. 622664 ID: 265534
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>>621774
Normally, I'm all for slapping someone's shit when they don't do what I want, but this is different, because gnolls are fucking huge, if you didn't know. Even if she's a big, whiny baby, I'm not putting my valuable body parts near that mouth.

>>621833
I'm not sure how useful a depressed hairball will be and she's not in for long enough to be desperate to escape. Probably kind of useless, actually.

I might even have to keep things on the downlow, 'cuz I might get ratted out if she's some goody-goody.

Back to planning and not worrying about fuzztits.

right well if we're going to plan things it helps to know what we have to work with, so when they let you out of your cell for the day see if you can't find your minions and look around the prison. Once we know what's what we can grab something to blow a hole in the wall and escape.

>>622664
Possible assets:
The Table: A place you can hide yourself, or future things. It might be the first place they look, but making them look is a way of controlling them.

Toilet: Another possible hiding spot and means of making people open your cell? If it has moving parts, you can break it, and nobody's going to abide a leak for long. Hell, check the tank in the back for parts you could use. Nobody's going to want to get stabbed with a toilet shank.

>I'm not sure how useful a depressed hairball will be
...you could us her as a scapegoat? Or depending on what she went to school for, she might be a source of resources. (Can she make stuff?). Also, desperate and naive people can be manipulated.

Still, I think you should start by trying to steal something from a common area to make a weapon or tool.

>>622664
I want to hug her... you want to hug her too.....deep down inside

>>622666
You've got 85% of a good idea here. Create two stashes for your resources: a real one and a fake one. Make the fake one really obvious so the guards think you're too dumb to pull off an actual escape plan while keeping the real stash away from prying eyes. Hiding in plain sight in a way is a pretty good strategy overall.

>>622664

Ask her what she was trying to get a scholarship in?

1. Start having lesbiansex
2. Invite guard
3. ?
4. Profit/escape

hug fluffy gnoll

>>622859
upvote hugging fluffy gnoll

>>622664
>>622847
Absolutely brilliant. How could a prison guard possibly resist lesbian sex?
This plan is sure to work.

Prison guard: spear prisoners to death.

Hug fluffy gnoll. This will be a lot easier with her help.

>>622917
Don't you mean 'spear' prisoners to 'la petite mort'?

hug fluffy gnoll

>>623105
Agree, do le French Orgasm.