spades 2015/01/04(Sun)16:06 No. 618028 ID: f74bb7
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I wake up sprawled out on a barrel, smelling of sweat and old cigars and probably missing at least one tooth. Lovely.

The hell am I even doing on this thing anyway? I can't remember any of last night, which means I probably drank enough to do something I'm gonna seriously regret in the morni-wait.
It's already morning, isn't it.

Well damn, now what do I do?

Take a look in the barrel.

Check hat for hidden goods.

Check your pockets too while you're at it.

Check the barrel, if there's nothing in it disassemble the barrel and take one of the wood bits as a makeshift bludgeon.

Check your teeth with your fingers. See if you're missing your tongue too.

spades 2015/01/04(Sun)18:10 No. 618091 ID: f74bb7
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>Take a look in the barrel

After some prying the lid pops off to reveal...gunpowder? Well, I'll be. A fifth of this thing would cost more than my entire life's savings, and I have a hard time believing I managed to steal a barrel of explosives while blackout drunk.

...I have a hunch I traded something important for this.

spades 2015/01/04(Sun)18:35 No. 618104 ID: f74bb7
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sorry for the inconsistent style, guys, I'm still learning how to tablet

>Check hat for hidden goods. Check your pockets too while you're at it.

I keep all my stuff in my hat since pickpockets and the like never think to check there. That or they're too short to reach.

TRUSTY HAT contains HOUSE KEY, BAG O' GOLD (40G), STALE-ASS BISCUIT (ew), and MYSTERY PAPER.

>Check your teeth with your fingers. See if you're missing your tongue too.

All there, thankfully. Well, minus the one molar I lost last month...but that's another story.

>>618104
So, who are you and where are you?

1/2 spades 2015/01/05(Mon)11:54 No. 618313 ID: f74bb7
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>who are you

Sir Evegard Digby, at your service. At least I would be, if my older brother hadn't gotten all the inheritance and left me with barely a penny to my name. So now I make do as a sword-for-hire, wandering listlessly from town to town in search of the next job.
It's dirty work, but at least it brings in a fairly steady flow of cash. Besides, it keeps my name and former title well under wraps and that is perfectly fine by me.

2/2 spades 2015/01/05(Mon)11:55 No. 618314 ID: f74bb7
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>where are you

As for where I am, it looks to be an alleyway of some sort.
Daylight streams in from the narrow gap between the buildings overhead, and I can hear the city's usual din of merchants, passers-by, and livestock from the opposite end.
I'd say it's about 10 AM, but being hungover tends to screw with my internal clock.

Speaking of which, I should really do something about this headache.

Read the mystery paper I guess!

What could you have traded that much gunpowder for? What's that on the back of your hand?

1/2 spades 2015/01/05(Mon)12:33 No. 618317 ID: f74bb7
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>Read the mystery paper I guess!

Alright, let's see what we have here...

Reed, des-what, destroy? I think? FIND DOCKS - well, okay then. Speed...peanuts?!

Nah, who am I kidding, I can't see shit when the letters are swimming this much.

Hope whoever wrote this doesn't need an instant reply, because if anyone's gonna read this anytime soon, it won't be me.

spades 2015/01/05(Mon)12:40 No. 618318 ID: f74bb7
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>What's that on the back of your hand?

...seriously? A tattoo on my goddamned hand? Only convicts and rich kids trying to be ironic get inked here, and fortunately I am neither.
Drunkenness be damned, there's no way I could have agreed to this.

And judging by how much this little bastard stings it was done fairly recently, too.

This day just keeps getting better and better.

I guess you'll want to reseal the barrel, first off. Do you think it'll be safe to leave it here for now? You should probably go get a drink of water from somewhere nearby.

3/4 spades 2015/01/05(Mon)14:52 No. 618362 ID: f74bb7
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>I guess you'll want to reseal the barrel, first off. Do you think it'll be safe to leave it here for now? You should probably go get a drink of water from somewhere nearby.

I'm pretty sure the barrel's safe where it is, and with the top back on no one would be the wiser.

As for water, it ain't ideal but this drainage pipe will have to do for now.

>What could you have traded that much gunpowder for?
Well, considering my house key is still on me and I'm not missing any organs (I hope) it must have been my sword.

Welp, that would explain where my belt went.

Shit.

4/4 spades 2015/01/05(Mon)20:03 No. 618406 ID: f74bb7
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numbering got way out whack, what says 1/2 ought to be 1/4, then 2/4 and so on

The fu-

Now wait just a damn minute.

Is that your sword? Ask him how he got it. Maybe the fucker stole it from you while you were unconscious, in which case you should steal it back.

After him?

spades 2015/01/08(Thu)17:54 No. 618971 ID: f74bb7
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>Maybe the fucker stole it from you while you were unconscious, in which case you should steal it back.

>After him?

This asshole's pretty fast and he's armed (with my sword), but I've got one thing over him: height.

With how fast I'm gaining on him, I can try to loop around in front and cut him off, or trip him with something.
Hell, I could even go for a flying tackle or something ballsy like that.

Whatever I do though, it's gotta be quick or he'll escape through another alleyway, or worse yet, out into the docks.

>>618971
Don't forget about the expensive barrel behind you

That's worth a pretty penny, no?

Well, if you think you traded your sword to him, him might know you, try calling out to him- that is, after cutting him off.

dramatic tackle go

>>618971
Don't forget your cowboy hat!

1/2 spades 2015/01/17(Sat)13:54 No. 620720 ID: f74bb7
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>dramatic tackle go
Way too close for that now, I'd end up impaling myself on my own sword or worse.

Either I suddenly gain a foot of height, or -

>Don't forget about the expensive barrel behind you

Eu-fuckin-reka.

2/2 spades 2015/01/17(Sat)14:00 No. 620724 ID: f74bb7
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I really didn't think this one through, did I

drop kick the fucker

>>620724
Bury your knees in that bitch and scream "YEET"

>>620724
Land in front of him and politely ask where he got that sword.

spades 2015/01/18(Sun)18:28 No. 621022 ID: f74bb7
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>drop kick the fucker

SCORE

>>621022
Recover fast, try to wrestle the sword off of this punk before they try to draw it on you!

Hold them down for questioning.

hold down thief, take sword, make sure it's yours, ask thief why he had your sword if it is yours, have an awkward silence moment if it isn't.

spades 2015/01/18(Sun)19:51 No. 621062 ID: f74bb7
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>Recover fast, try to wrestle the sword off of this punk before they try to draw it on you!

In an unprecedented feat of drunken agility, I not only stick the landing but also steal back my sword off his(?) surprisingly shapely hips.

..hang on.

it is your sword right? we didn't just beat this guy(?) and rob him(?) because of a misunderstanding, did we?

>>621062
Is that a girl? Hold them up with the sword and demand an explanation.

Yeah, and she's got decent cans too. Doesn't change the fact that she had your sword. Plus she's wearing a mask, that's always bad news. Never feel bad about the sneaky ones. Don't let her get away.

'hey baby is that my sword in your belt or what the fuck are you doing with my sword'

spades 2015/01/18(Sun)21:37 No. 621084 ID: f74bb7
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>Is that a girl? Hold them up with the sword and demand an explanation.

I decide to take the diplomatic approach:

>"hey baby is that my sword in your belt or what the fuck are you doing with my sword"

« enculé »

...I have no idea what that means but it cannot be good.

Witchcraft, quick through salt at it!

>I have no idea what that means but it cannot be good.
It's french for motherfucker.

Unsurprisingly, she's apparently less than thrilled to be drop kicked from behind and held at sword-point.

> enculé

the bitch just insulted your mother.

English motherfucker, do you speak it?

If further attempts at communication fail, take off that mask.

spades 2015/01/19(Mon)15:16 No. 621190 ID: f74bb7
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> the bitch just insulted your mother.
Eh, not like it's the first time a girl's called me a bastard or anything, although usually the circumstances are a bit, uh, different. Ahem.

>English motherfucker, do you speak it? If further attempts at communication fail, take off that mask.

"Hey, uh listen, so I must've been super drunk last night because about ten minutes ago I woke up with a barrel instead of my belt and then you run by an-"

"Idiot! You do not remember? The docks! There was an exchange!

Exchange?

Goddamnit, seriously?

Welp, then that solves the great gunpowder mystery. One drunken enigma down, two to go.

Er no scratch that, counting her in makes three. Fuck.

>Idiot! You do not remember? The docks! There was an exchange!

I repeat, I was drunk and didn't even remember my name until about an hour ago. Please explain, and if you wish to use small words and speak as though you are speaking to a slow child I will not complain.

Maybe you are now part of some gang or contracted to some daemon. That would explain the mark on your hand, so ask her to refresh your memory a bit.

>Exchange? Goddamnit, seriously?
Wait, didn't you know this already? You assumed you traded your sword for the gunpowder. You just wanted your sword back because that was dumb.

...although that doesn't tell us how to resolve this now. Not sure she'll do take backsies.

spades 2015/02/25(Wed)20:31 No. 626634 ID: f74bb7
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sorry for the unplanned hiatus, life took over

>Maybe you are now part of some gang or contracted to some daemon. That would explain the mark on your hand, so ask her to refresh your memory a bit.

Right, let's just start from the beginning:

>"I repeat, I was drunk and didn't even remember my name until about an hour ago. Please explain, and if you wish to use small words and speak as though you are speaking to a slow child I will not complain."

"Also can you explain just what this is and what it's doing on my hand all of a sudden?"

2/2 Suggestion 2015/02/25(Wed)20:33 No. 626635 ID: f74bb7
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The second I show her the mark on my hand, she recoils with a loud gasp - honestly, with that kind of reaction you'd think I'd just presented her with a severed head or something.

"Do you have any idea what that is? What it does?"

"Well obviously not sugartits, that's why I'm asking."

"Must it be spelled out? It's a seal, and it's much stronger than anything anyone here could make-"

She pauses and looks me up and down.

"-especially a drunk. You had to have been bound to someone, or to something."

what's this, colour? the plot thickens

So we are someone's slave now? Damn I hope we got some something out of this, other the promise of adventure.

Fuck. Ask how you can find out who or what the seal is binding you to.

We're still waiting on that explanation of the deal, miss. First things first. And then an explanation about this seal.

spades 2015/02/27(Fri)20:04 No. 626948 ID: f74bb7
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>We're still waiting on that explanation of the deal, miss. First things first. And then an explanation about this seal.

"Alright, crazy demon seal or not, I still have zero idea what even happened last night."

"All I know is this: I was at the docks, waiting for the rest of the crew to come back to load this shipment of gunpowder and head out to sea."

"Then you showed up and offered me the sword in exchange for the powder, then left me the sword and went off on your way with the barrel like we agreed. "

"Then why did I see you run past like you stole the damn thing?"

"I traded cargo off, didn't I? Gunpowder smugglers take their cargo very seriously, you know. Business as usual, as you might say."

"Please don't tell me that means what I think it means."

"That we are now both equally in the shit? Probably."

Oh joy.

...did I have this seal on me last night? And are you usually in the business of trading explosives to people drunk off their asses? I means, I know I was the drunk idiot in question, but you were the one dumb enough to hand that drunk idiot explosives.

spades 2015/03/05(Thu)10:01 No. 627830 ID: f74bb7
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Out of nowhere she grabs my arm and starts dragging me deeper into the alleys, hastily throwing explanations over her shoulder along the way.

"It's like this, you see. Seals like that are pretty common where I am from, but I never expected to see one like that here. Or really anything from my country but that's another story."

"Well aight, but what's it do?"

"Was about to tell you. In essence it's a contract between you and whoever cast it on you. Kind of like a signature on paper, only this time you are the paper and the signature belongs to the other guy. What each one does depends on what it looks like, and considering yours is a blood-red eye I would be worried."

"And by worried do you mean mild concern worried or oh-shit-I'm-gonna-die worried?"

"Eh, not quite deadly, but definitely not something you want on you any longer than necessary. And since you were probably incredibly drunk when you got it, necessary stopped some time ago. This one especially, since it's basically long-distance surveillance for whoever put it on you. "

"WHAT."

"Not to worry, where we're going it won't be much of a problem any longer."

Speaking of going places, just where the fuck are we going?
Do I
a) demand even more explanation
b) try and break free from the crazy bitch
c) show her the paper
d) ask her about the gunpowder
e) something else?

E) Honk her tits.

E) ask her if covering the eye does anything or if it's a AOE-kind of thing.

>Not to worry, where we're going it won't be much of a problem any longer.
Uh, I hope that isn't a thinly veiled hint it won't be able to see me on account of my being killed, or having my hand cut off.

If she isn't planning something that drastic, shut your gob and wait for her to do whatever she's gonna do. No reason to provide more information before the mysterious watcher is cut off.

Wait wait. All this implies you were supposed to do something for someone very powerful and the mark is there to make sure you do what you're supposed to do. You need to read that note properly before you decide if you're going to get rid of the mark or not.

>>627830
>show her the paper

also, we're blatantly looking in through the eye

>>627830
c) show her the paper
d) ask her about the gunpowder
she knows more about this then us so the paper could help. And with the gun powder... we're more use to a sword then a barrel so maybe we can trade back?

spades 2015/06/08(Mon)13:40 No. 647156 ID: f74bb7
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still alive

Before I can even think to ask her about the paper or the gunpowder or anything else, she stops abruptly in front of a boarded-up window marked by a suspicious symbol.

She knocks three times, then utters the code word.

« ouvrez »

Aaaand nothing happens.

« j'ai dit, ouvrez »

An uncomfortably long minute goes by.

« MAIS OUVREZ SÉSAME, BORDEL DE MERDE »

Faintly, as if from a great distance away, something begins creaking and groaning from behind the boards and gradually crescendoes into a cacophony of scraping bricks and grinding gears.

That must be one hell of a trapdoor system they've got behind there.

spades 2015/06/08(Mon)14:09 No. 647166 ID: f74bb7
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...orrr maybe not.

"What. The hell. Is that."

" That, my friend, is our ticket out of this mess. "

"And you expect me to just hop right into a a giant flaming demon eye?! Have you lost your mind??!!"

" Well of course, since interdimensional demon portals tend to be ah, how you say, one size fits all. Now get in. "

I feel her vicegrip clamp down on my arm again seconds before she vaults into the portal, dragging me along with her.

YOU BIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-

spades 2015/06/08(Mon)14:25 No. 647171 ID: f74bb7
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"You know, there are much worse things out there than blood contracts, and you just ran blindly into one of them. Thanks for ruining my fun so early, you bumbling killjoys."

Oh man, a fate worse than death.

We took a portal to a world where everyone speaks french!

>>/questdis/91775

questions/complaints thisaway

It occurs to me that whoever put that mark on you could be expecting you to bring along that barrel of gunpowder. Maybe you should?

Chapter II spades 2015/06/09(Tue)11:10 No. 647391 ID: f74bb7
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"You had one job, Evegard. And you couldn't even finish that."

>>647391
Maybe if we knew what our job was we could have done it.

spades 2015/06/09(Tue)14:39 No. 647416 ID: f74bb7
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After a particularly long fall, you find yourself in a cave. As your vision adjusts, you begin to notice the rock formations towering above you on all sides. No sign of the halfwit with the hat yet, however.

The place is deceptively silent, aside from the faint sound of running water somewhere far off. The Inbetweens have always been quiet, too quiet for your liking.

From what you remember of your brief journeys through this dimension to the one beyond it, there should be an exit of some sort close to this drop-point. You don't remember exactly how far it is from here, but you do know that to get to it, you have to follow a river to its source deeper into the cave. Beyond that, your memories of this place start to blend with those of all the other In Betweens.

Can you see, are there hazards to watch out for? Any chance the dude whose sword you were wearing is nearby?
Also, just to make sure I understood that, the source of a river is deeper in the cave instead of higher?! That's some trippy stuff.