Punk 2014/11/19(Wed)12:51 No. 603735 ID: ac3f4f
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I look to the ground, to see the result of the epic battle.

"Oooooohhh..... OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH........" The tanuki moans.

Punk 2014/11/19(Wed)12:51 No. 603736 ID: ac3f4f
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"MMMMMYYYYYY LEEEEEGGGGGGG! THE PAAAAAAAAAIIIN! THE PAIN IS UNBEEAAARAAABLLLEEEEE!!!" He whines, grasping his pierced limb as tears run down his furry face. I begin to feel a little bad.
"Did.. DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO GO AND DO THAAAT?! I WAS JUST MESSIN' WITH YOU, MAN! JEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZ.. THE PAAAAAAIIiiiinnnn...."

Punk 2014/11/19(Wed)12:51 No. 603737 ID: ac3f4f
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I glance around the room, immediately noticing a new ladder that seemingly appeared after defeating the tanuki. Perhaps he was concealing it. I also see that the Magical Medicine was released onto the ground from the pot. I appears to be some sort of herb. The tanuki writhes in pain..

retrieve kunai and help the tanuki. tell it that taking on a warrior form and not expecting battle is a bad idea.

Finish him off, take the kunaj and herb because looting is important. Proceed.

......or should we be moral and give him the herb?

I think you'd better find out where this tanuki's loyalties lie before deciding to help him or not. You're here for revenge, right? If it stands in the way of your revenge, should you not treat it like an enemy?

>>603737
>>603755
Yes.

Punk 2014/11/20(Thu)15:10 No. 603991 ID: ac3f4f
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>Do the morally correct thing.

I retrieve my kunai and proceed to give the tanuki the all healing herb. He looks at me, surprised. "But.. But I was trying to stop you.." He says.

"A true samurai knows when to help.. tanukis. I guess. The answer is sometimes. Maybe." I say wisely. "Also, taking on a warrior form and not expecting battle is a bad idea. Rascally Tanuki-kun."

Punk 2014/11/20(Thu)15:10 No. 603992 ID: ac3f4f
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I help him to his feet.. er, paws... hands? And he begins to speak. "Be warned, samurai. Though you have defeated me, ahead of you lies eight more generals, each mightier than the last. If you wish to reach Master Kitsokuyaku, you must defeat them all. And like.. I mean.. Like they're all my friends so if you could not like.. kill them, that would be great. Just something to think about."

Punk 2014/11/20(Thu)15:10 No. 603994 ID: ac3f4f
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He hands me something. A coin. "I want you to have this. It's a Torikku Coin. Trademarked. It will allow you to call for my help one time in any of your future battles. Use it wisely, for you face legendary trials." Torikku Coin added to inventory. One space remaining.

Punk 2014/11/20(Thu)15:11 No. 603995 ID: ac3f4f
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The tanuki's warning fresh in my mind, I proceed up the ladder. I find myself in a darkened room, surrounded by... massive vegetables..? I take a few steps before a shrill voice rings out from the darkness.. "I see you've defeated Torikku. A shame I'm sure.. I'm sure you're feeling confident.. But I have a question for you.. Do you like vegetables, samurai?"

>>603995
I would be a foolish warrior indeed to overlook the importance of a proper diet.

>>603995
Yes. Vegetables are an important part of japanese culture, even.

However... you prefer them to be... SLICED.

>>603995
I ENJOY PERFECTLY BALENCED MEALS FIEND!

Ignore him, but be ready for cooking-themed attacks! Carrot arrows, boiling oil, moving trees, whatever!

CHOP IT ALL, SALT THE POTATO.

But yeah, try not to kill any of the generals you face. These guys have not disgraced you, just Kitsokuyaku, and it's likely that they will surrender if defeated.

Punk 2014/11/28(Fri)01:18 No. 606230 ID: 23faf4
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>I would be a foolish warrior indeed to overlook the importance of a proper diet.

>I ENJOY PERFECTLY BALENCED MEALS FIEND!

>Ignore him, but be ready for cooking-themed attacks! Carrot arrows, boiling oil, moving trees, whatever!

I shout into the darkness, stating my stance on a proper diet and the fact that vegetables are popular in Japan as it is. I also prepare my sword for defense...

Punk 2014/11/28(Fri)01:18 No. 606231 ID: 23faf4
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"WELL HOW ABOUT THESE VEGETABLES!! 'ICE' TO MEET YOU, SAMURAI!!" Shout the same shrill voice as my enemy reveals himself in a surprise attack, unleashing a volley of carrots from his palm. He also says what I'm pretty sure is a pun, but it's oddly not vegetable related.

Punk 2014/11/28(Fri)01:19 No. 606232 ID: 23faf4
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Having prepared my sword earlier, I narrowly manage to deflect and chop the incoming barrage. It would no doubt be really impressive if they weren't all carrots.

Punk 2014/11/28(Fri)01:19 No. 606233 ID: 23faf4
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But while I was parrying, it seems Yasai prepared a follow up attack and is coming down towards me with a large eggplant-club. "LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE 'TROUT' OF LUCK, SAMURAI!!" He yells, yet another not vegetable related pun at me. He's too close for me to counter or dodge! At this rate I'll be struck! If only I could think of some way to distract him.. Maybe something I could say..

"is that a bug?"

"Well, what say we get to the "root" of the problem?"
Then sweep him off his feet with a kick or the flat end of your blade

>'ICE' TO MEET YOU, SAMURAI!
You, you do know that's not a vegetable pun, right? You're a veggie based opponent, not a cold based one.

>LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE 'TROUT' OF LUCK, SAMURAI!!" He yells, yet another not vegetable related pun at me.
Wow, he's terrible at this. Best distraction would be to point out how terrible he is at this. What kind of villain can't stick to a theme?

We'll have to overpower him with proper puns.

I don't carrot for your lack of style.
You've left me rather cress fallen.
I don't relish listening to this for much longer.
How long dill you produce a proper pun.
You're making my brain leek.
I will squash you.

>you prefer your vegetables... sliced
This one is the finisher, obviously.

Try and not kill the guy, though. Veggie-warrior is kind of harmless, and the tankuni did as us to spare his friends, if we could.

Vegetable-themed general starts making puns about ice and fish...!

He's talking about a recipe!

Keep dodging his attacks, listen to his puns, and then answer with the correct recipe related to those ingredients and/or cooking methods declared in the puns! It might be the true test!

Punk 2014/12/02(Tue)03:46 No. 607727 ID: 23faf4
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>"Well, what say we get to the "root" of the problem?"

"WH-WHAT?!"

Punk 2014/12/02(Tue)03:46 No. 607728 ID: 23faf4
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>Then sweep him off his feet with a kick or the flat end of your blade

"GYEAAHHHH!"

>"I don't carrot for your lack of style."

Punk 2014/12/02(Tue)03:47 No. 607729 ID: 23faf4
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>"You've left me rather cress fallen. "

"DOOF!"

*Tumble*

>"I don't relish listening to this for much longer. "

"D-DAMN YOU, SAMURAI! I WILL SEE THAT YOU ARE MADE-"

Punk 2014/12/02(Tue)03:47 No. 607730 ID: 23faf4
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>"How long dill you produce a proper pun. "

*UPPERCUT*

"GNFF!"

>"You're making my brain leek. "

"OOUUAAHHHH!!"

"GAHH! I.. I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU LIKED VEGETABLES!!!"

"I do.. But I prefer them to be..."

Punk 2014/12/02(Tue)03:47 No. 607731 ID: 23faf4
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"SLICED!!!"

"EEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!"

"S..SAAMURAI.. YOU... BASTARD.. I'LL... I'll... 'krill'.. you...."

And with that, Yasai falls into unconsciousness, and I continue through the door cleverly disguised as a turnip.

Punk 2014/12/02(Tue)03:48 No. 607732 ID: 23faf4
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Stepping through the chamber I look around for the usual mysterious surroundings and- O.. Oh. I am taken aback at the large beefy wolfman in front of me. He looks at me with about the same amount of surprise.

"ARREAH.. ARREH YEHH ANNEH GENRAH?" He.. says. In the best way a fellow with a canine mouth can. I believe from the tone, he was asking a question, and appears to be awaiting an answer but.. I'm not entirely sure what he said..

"Are you a general?"

I guess this guy is climbing the temple, just as you are. Tell him about the other generals, and ask how many generals he has defeated. Then either join up or go your separate ways.

>ARREH YEHH ANNEH GENRAH?
I'm tempted to apply ghostbusters logic, but I'm pretty sure saying yes just nets us an unnecessary fight.

No, I'm not a general.

>>607732
"Are you a new general?" I think is what he said. Repeat the question at him, to be sure.

Politely ask him to clarify whether he asked "are you another general" or "are you a new general" Say that you are a bit hard of hearing to avoid offending him.

I don't trust that plant in the background.
>>607732
Keep your eye on it. (Or maybe our tanuki "friend" is hiding in places like that each floor in case we need help.)

Punk 2014/12/03(Wed)10:13 No. 608166 ID: 23faf4
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>Politely ask him to clarify whether he asked "are you another general" or "are you a new general" Say that you are a bit hard of hearing to avoid offending him.

"Excuse me, but I'm a bit hard of hearing. Did you say, 'are you another general' or 'are you a new general'?"

Punk 2014/12/03(Wed)10:13 No. 608168 ID: 23faf4
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"Arreh. Uouh. Aaa. Gnngew. Renral." He says slowly, trying to enunciate as much as he can. I'm pretty sure that he's asking if I'm a new general. What should I say?

...YES. YES I AM.

I'm applying for the position, I'm here to see master kitsokuyaka.

Nope.

This guy might pick fights with other generals, hence the question. Otherwise, if you lie and he finds out later, he might get angry - really angry.

Just ask if he's a general, or if he has business with one of the other madmen in this twisted slapstick carnival.

And keep your sword unsheathed, he might be fast either way.

>>608356
yeah, you are here to sign up, take some tests. that sort of thing.

>Lying
>samurai honor
pick one.
If you chose lying you are wrong, try again.

>>608168
No, I am not. I am here to see Master Kitsokuyaka.

No.

Punk 2014/12/04(Thu)09:05 No. 608688 ID: 23faf4
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I have a brief internal struggle before coming to a resolution that it would be against my samurai honor to deceive this.. wolf.. fellow.

"No, I am not a general. I am here to see Master Kitsokuyaku."

The room goes silent, the air stagnant with anticipation and the smell of wolfman.

"Uoo reealish. Eeat ee ouw aah ou ight." He steps back, and takes a combative stance. Dammit. This guy looks tough.. yet.. he appears to be sniffing feverishly. In fact, he's been doing so since we first met, now that I think of it. Perhaps he smells something on me? But what..

>master of being a wolfman
Yeah, well you're a master of being a manman, so you'll be fine.

>Perhaps he smells something on me? But what..
Probably the delicious dried meat.

Punch his jaw until he stops speaking funny.

or just use a kunai to attack from a distance.

Wait, don't you have some dried meat in your inventory? Why not distract him with it?

>>608688
"You realise that we all hate you, right?"
I THINK that's what he said.
Also, maybe the veggie juice is on you?
Could also be smelling that tanuki token. Maybe he thinks you're the tanuki in disguise?

>>608688
The dried meat. Offer to trade the dried meat if he doesn't fight or stop you.

>>608688
"Uoo reealish. Eeat ee ouw aah ou ight."
I think that translates to "You realize... that we now have to fight."

Yeah, take out the jerky. Dangle it tantalizingly. Ask him who's a good boy.