Chapter 2 Tavron 2014/09/16(Tue)18:47 No. 594407 ID: 189a54
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Now I'm here, staring at him,
And he's here, staring at me,
And cray *BOOOP* is like "Picked up the biscuits,
"Does anyone want me to make them some tea?"

And the husband's like "Not now babe,
"That's just a little too late."
Turns to me like "I'll just ask you once
"What the *BOOOOP* are you doing in my house with a gun?"

Listen: I just wanna get back to my wife, not her, someone else. I can't tell you why I'm here because I sure don't remember what happened to me before! All I know is this woman said something about giving me drugs, at best!
then...And this will be scary...but put the gun down. this is crazy but if everyone calms down maybe we can figure out what happened and how you're gonna get back to your wife.

Dude your wife drugged me, I don't remember how I got here.

It is never too late for biscuits and tea. Also your husband probably has a gay lover on the side. I'm just say'n.

The quest where we cant do the one thing that the quest implies is gonna happen. Also shoot him in the balls.

For your own safety of course.

Tavron 2014/09/17(Wed)13:03 No. 594502 ID: 189a54
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I inch so I'm closer to him,
And I'm like "*BOOOOOP* I'll just tell the truth,
"I don't know how I even got here,
"Your wife *BOOOOOP*ing drugged me, dude."

And then I gather my courage,
To say what I need to say,
Saying "Look why don't we put these guns down,
"Don't wanna have to shoot someone in the balls today--"

But the husband's just laughing,
Pulls back the hammer like "*BOOOOP* cut the bull*BOOOOOP*!"
"My wife's never touched a drug,
"And you're trying to say that she deals it?"

And now my mind's racing,
His trigger finger's looking tight!
Cray *BOOOOOP* is now scooting out what's she doing,
Trying to sneak out and dodge this fight?!

"To be honest? I don't remember any of last night, that's the story I heard, maybe that's a cover for something worse, I don't know. I DO know if either of us start shooting, we'll both regret it, I'm sure. I don't want to play that game, I'm pretty sure I'm going to lose no matter what happens next after that."

Let's all get at those BISCUITS!

>"My wife's never touched a drug,
>"And you're trying to say that she deals it?"
Hell if I know what's going on. Maybe she's covering something up, defending somebody, or maybe she didn't know what she was doing, and it was an accident. What I do know is what she told me, and that she seemed afraid that I was going to cause trouble.
Screw that shit. You think I want to be here? I don't. I don't even give a shit what you two have going on here or what you do after this, I just want to get back home to my girl.

Tavron 2014/09/18(Thu)13:48 No. 594648 ID: 189a54
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And I'm up in his face now!
All like "Look I don't give a *BOOOOOP*!"
"I don't know what the *BOOOP*'s going on here,
"I just want my wife and some mother*BOOOOOP*ing BISCUITS!"

And he's like "You feel lucky?
"'Cause you're like fixing to get shot!"
And I'm like "*BOOOOP let's just do this,
"I want to go home so your *BOOOOP*'s getting dropped!"

"I Just wanted to go home,
"And go drink up some tea!
"I just wanted to see my damn boo--"

"That's right he wanted to see me!"

Chapter 3 Tavron 2014/09/18(Thu)13:54 No. 594650 ID: 189a54
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The gun just drops from his hand,
And he slowly turns to his wife
Like "Boo did you just say something?
"Did...did I just hear you right?"

Cray *BOOOOP* sort of smirks with her biscuits
Like "*BOOOP* what did you expect?
"I don't care if you are a deacon,
"The facts of it are you're just awful in bed!"

And he's reeling from that pack,
Half-crying to me he chokes out,
"Man the *BOOOP* like is this true or what,
"The *BOOOP* are you playing, what's this all about?!"

"...Really.
You apparently bring me here despite having a man already, fine.
We bust out the guns and you don't want to be around for that, I can understand that, I don't wanna get popped either. And you want to break up with your man? Fine.
But I've got my own girl at my own home and I'd like to get back to both of those so if you don't mind I'm out!"
And take a biscuit but don't eat it. Dat chick's not just cray-cray, she straight up drinking the cray juice!

Sit down. Eat biscuits. Let's eat the damn biscuits. EAT THEM! EAT THEM ALL!

Also I'd just like to point out that most issues in the bedroom can be solved through compromise and communication. He's not a mind reader, she needs to tell him what she wants. If she's not willing to do that, you two go exchange notes. Unless you were too drugged to remember anything.

Why don't we see if we can calm things down.

(Things are gonna go wrong, and this is gonna be groundhog day all over I just know it. Also, biscuit quest!)

Tavron 2014/09/21(Sun)04:23 No. 595041 ID: 189a54
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I fire two shots in the air, and
I'm just like "*BOOOOOP* just calm down!
"I got my own girl in my own *BOOOP* house,
"And I'm needing them, so I swear I'm out!"

"Man I didn't sleep with your *BOOOOOOP* wife,
"If I did it was 'cause of her drug!
"Now Imma leave you two to work it out,
"'Cause I'm almost goin' off like a mo*BOOOOP*ing thug!"

Then I walk to THE BISCUITS
Looking down at THE BISCUITS
And I pick up A BISCUIT
But god*BOOOOOP* it they're probably drugged as *BOOOOOP*!

Tavron 2014/09/21(Sun)04:26 No. 595042 ID: 189a54
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And now I'm almost out the door with a biscuit,
And husband calls from far in the room like "Wait,
"If you're gonna break a home like this,
"You can't at least stay for something I wanna say?"

''No, I got what I came for.'' And just leave.

"Assuming it isn't you about to shoot me, alright."

Isn't someone's cell supposed to ring revealing they've been hitting it on the down low? Also, eat biscuit. Also, give hubby biscuit. Then hug hubby. He needs it.

This could all be resolved if some mother*BOOP*ers would calm the fuck down and eat some biscuits.

Tavron 2014/09/25(Thu)19:47 No. 595867 ID: 189a54
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I toss the man a biscuit,
But I ain't going for no hug!
And I'm like "Man if you won't shoot me,
"Go on then and talk to me bruh!"

"Look I got something important,
"But first I just gotta use my phone!"
Man am I really gonna wait for this fool?!
I've already been here way to *BOOOOOOP*ing long!

Well crap.
"Fine...But make it quick, my boo's prolly missing me too!"

"Fine, but I swear to shit if you call the cops on my ass I am suing both you and your cray-ass wife for kidnapping and emotional damages."

This is bullshit. Leave. Persue normalcy and tasty biscuit eating.

Tavron 2014/09/27(Sat)11:00 No. 596120 ID: 189a54
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Against my better judgment,
I'm like "You got two minutes, tops!
"Go ahead, use that *BOOOOOP* phone,
"But you'd best not be calling no cops!"

And he dials like fast, and
He tells me "Wait one second,"
And I swear this is what happened,

Tavron 2014/09/27(Sat)11:02 No. 596122 ID: 189a54
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A MAN JUMPS OUT THE CABINET,
Cabinet,
cabinet

Dawg, don't tell me I was on canidid camera extreme edition. This is...This is just too much. How many busicuits did I have!?

>>596122
...Lady, just how the hell many men did you bring to this place?

It's the dude he's hitt'n on the down-low. I bet the red-head's the bottom.

There is some serious echo whenever I hear CABINET Cabinet cabinet. Also who in the fuck is he?

Chapter 4 Tavron 2014/10/04(Sat)08:47 No. 597266 ID: 189a54
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And I say "Cray bitch,
"I know this man's here for you,
"'Cause if I'm right with what I'm thinkin
"I don't know what I'm gonna do..."

And the dude says "Please,
"I know it's hard to understand,
"But look, my name is Frank,
"And for real sir, I am this dude's man!

And I'm like "Bullshit dude,
"This is some heavy frickin' stuff!
And then I point my gun at him like
"And you better just duck your head nigga,
"'Cause I'm about to blow up!"

And then he says "Wait, wait!
"Don't you want to know the truth of this man's spouse?!"
Bitch I don't! Am I really not going?!
Not gatting this nig and getting out this house?!

Just fucking leave. Don't even say anything just turn and leave. Fuck this house, fuck those guys, fuck those bisc- okay well grab a biscuit but FUCK everything else.

Oh fine, maybe this will be funny enough to be worth waiting further for. But frankly, this I hope will be the craziest thing I ever experience!

Tavron 2014/10/05(Sun)05:58 No. 597348 ID: 189a54
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Now I've had far enough shit!
And I'm all like, "This is fucked as hell!
"Now I'm gonna just leave, right now,
"Before I do somethin' stupid and go to jail!"

And I look at THE BISCUITS
Untrusting of THE BISCUITS
But I grab up THE BISCUITS
Then I leave with SOME BISCUITS

Tavron 2014/10/05(Sun)06:04 No. 597349 ID: 189a54
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And now I'm on the road,
Still shaken by all the shit I just heard!
I just wanted to get up and just chill,
Instead I caught up in something absurd!

Now I'm sort of pondering,
Just where did I want to go now?
My buddy Quan just got out of jail today,
But boo's probably home having a cow...

Best to be easing your boo's worries.

Go see Quan, you need a bro to talk to about all this cray BOOPing shiz goin on, maybe offer a biscuit but let him know the broad who baked em is like totally cray tho.

BOOO! We missed story time :(

Tavron 2014/10/11(Sat)14:35 No. 597913 ID: 189a54
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So I head to the bus stop,
And Quan's already waiting outside,
He's like "Bruh, what's been keeping you?"
I say "You won't believe what I survived!"

Frank 2014/10/11(Sat)14:40 No. 597915 ID: 189a54
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Meanwhile cut back to the room
While I tell Quan what just happened,
Cray bitch scoffs, and says,
"Someone had better explain, and real quick, my friend..."

we should have stayed around, shouldn't we.
[Hubby]...What? You mean to tell me that was all made up or something?
[Wife]Tell me why you putting up with me when you's really the type to swing for other guys!?

Frank 2014/10/12(Sun)16:31 No. 598033 ID: 189a54
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And then Steve and cray bitch,
They start to chew each other out,
Frank's like "Can't we talk about it--"
Cray bitch says "I don't wanna hear your bitch mouth!"

Now Frank is all confused,
What could he add to this?
Turn it around, drop dirt on cray bitch,
Or should he just go and explain what he did?

a thought: Why does she care? Wasn't she trying to drop this guy for that other dude for a bit there?
And ASSUMING this guy isn't bi and trying to get the best of both worlds, we could probably explain what we ACTUALLY did, instead of jumping to conclusions like Frank here was doing earlier.

EAT BISCUITS.

Also this is about as far as the song that I know if. I know there's something about a dude comes home, big confrontation, and then guy calls up and it's revealed he's hitting it on the down low.

So eat biscuits, group hug, talk about relationships. Then call up a talk show.

Stress will be removed if biscats are crammed into thy face.

EAT THE BISCUTS. (I wanna see what happens.)

Frank 2014/10/24(Fri)16:55 No. 599291 ID: 189a54
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But Frank ain't very good with pressure,
And he starts shaking and stepping back!
And as the camera cuts back to Tavron,
It looks like he's having some panic attack!

Tavron 2014/10/24(Fri)17:03 No. 599292 ID: 189a54
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Now back to Tavron and Quan,
Who's all caught up to what went down today!
And Quan says "Shit, bruh that's heavy,
"I didn't know no deacons could swing that way--"

But uh oh here comes part two,
Part two of this day's crazy shit!
WOOOOWOOOOWOOOOO
Up behind Tavron and Quan,
A policeman drives up like "HALT,
"YOU'RE BUSTED YOU BITCH!"
bitch
bitch

Offer biscuits.

Cops are after your biscuits! Run for it!

Quick, distraction plan alpha-sigma! POP THE TRUNK AND LET LOOSE THE DONGS OF WAR