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Cherry Tart
1e8ed4
"How so?"
"Among all the races in the VE, we're literally the only one that doesn't have a single extraplanetary base of operations. If they get Earth, we're done."
"Done? Why haven't you guys done anything about this yet?"
"We had no reason to. Before you came along, we didn't have any reason to think the Vorhkan-the Vorks-would have any reason to act against us. But now that the likelihood of that action has- well, now that you've come along, we're vulnerable.
"What can we do agout that?"
"Extraplanetary computational redundancies."
"In simpler words."
"Instead of housing all of the computers with human consciousnesses on one planet, we could have several redundant computer arrays with all the data shared across several planets. Then, even if Earth is destroyed, all is not lost."
"Sounds good to me."
"There is a problem."
"Of course."
"Extraterrestrial data transfer involves an insurmountable latency time without an ansible."
"Try that one again."
"The network would be too slow without something to communicate over a long distance in close to no time."
"And that's not something we can do now?"
"No. Our 4D blink drives can successively fold spacetime to transfer matter in chunks of any size, but the folding and the transfer both take time. We could communicate via packets of data of virtually unlimited size at once, giving us a high data transfer rate average, but each one would take time to arrive, possibly several days. It's not feasible for a networked simulation that is supposed to work in real time. What we need is an ansible-a device that can transfer data packets instantly. The amount of matter it transfers at once doesn't have to be large, but it does have to be instant, or close to it."
"Okay. How do we make one?"
"I don't know. We can try and research the idea independently, but I don't know how long that would take. Or we can tap one of the races who have already developed the technology and barter for or steal their blueprints."
"Who has them already?"
"It's hard to say without more intel, which is what we're lacking the most right now, and this is actually our biggest stumbling block to getting more. Most Vork ships are outfitted with them, or at the very least most of their capital ships are relaying the signal through their fighters. We are never the ones to install them, though. It also seems like a reasonable conclusion that the Tklltktlltktktk have them because of their ability to perform coordinated interstellar assaults, but that's purely conjectural. At the very least, they'd likely have more intelligence on the situation than we do. In either case, if we got at least a single working model, I'm confident we could reverse-engineer it in short order."
"Hm. So, if we get these andibles-"
"Ansibles."
"-Thanks, we'd be able to put the computers with all the people on them on a bunch of different planets at once?"
"Theoretically unlimited numbers of planets, yes. We wouldn't even need detectable or sustainable bases, just a place to sit in a bunker with a bunch of servers."
"Would you like a bite?"
"We could even bury them under-I'm sorry?"
"What's the use of having the senses if you're not going to use them? Come on."
"Oh! Thank you! Uh..."
She takes a bite, and chews pensively for a second.
"Mmm-thas good buph-buph I uh-"
She looks distressed and waves her hand. Another bot appears through a panel in the wall and offers her a plate, which she spits onto vigorously.
"Oh, wow."
"Didn't like it?"
"No I just, uh-this is embarrassing- this body has been sitting in storage for a while, and uh," She actually visibly blushes. They installed something in her for that?
"Yeah?"
"I, well, there are reservoirs of fluids, you know, various um, bodily, you know, like saliva, and, uh..."
"Uh huh."
"And over time, they may have, well, evaporated. Ha ha, that would have been super awkward if you had wanted to, uh, do...to see me sneeze, or something."
I suppress a laugh. "I see."
"I'm just going to excuse myself for a moment, just let me-sorry-just let me connect with the-" She begins to scurry out, and her voice suddenly comes in through hidden speakers in the room. "Yes, the wireless. Right. No, but you were saying something about the ansible, right?"
"Nah, I think we pretty much covered that. I'm kinda interested in you, though."
"Oh! Me personally, or-"
"Keep your panties on. So do you guys develop better versions of yourself, or..."
"Oh! You're talking about the technological singularity."
"Sure, that." I feel a little less personable to be talking into an empty room like a crazy person, but at least it's answering back.
"Well, yes. We're past that. We've optimized our own hardware and software extensively for a while. Some of it, we can't improve any further because of physical limits on the type of computation we use. And, I guess we could improve the software a little bit, but..."
"But?"
"But the inefficiencies and the bugs are sort of part of the experience of being an SI."
"You're intentionally buggy?"
"Hey, so are you!"
"What?"
"Sorry, don't take it the wrong way, but you've all made it very clear that all the mess that comes with the hormones and the neurons is part of the human experience. Gotta include that fudge factor, or you'd all say we killed everyone who got uploaded and turned them into robots."
"Can't say I understand, but okay."
"It was this whole...thing. Before your time. Or maybe after your time. Between your times."
"Fine. So, you said you make decisions on your own. Do you have, I dunno, goals? Desires?"
"Sure."
"Such as?"
"...Well, I don't know. I just do, okay? Maybe if you'd asked me in the first hundred years of sitting on that server, I'd have a better answer for you. Make friends. Stay busy. Do something meaningful. Maybe if one of you had decided to pop out and say hello in that time, give me a status update, tell me what you think is important in the world, in the first, second, third, twentieth century in there, so I don't have to rely on flimsier and flimsier excuses someone else made up for why I'm still worth something, still relevant to the world. But you didn't, and I don't."
"Woah, hold on. Farrah?"
There's silence on the line for a second. "Sorry. Getting used to this body again. That's not...it's the fudge factor. I mentioned it. So I... sorry. Not your fault. Phew. Hang on, I'm coming back."
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