The Whisper 2013/01/08(Tue)16:27 No. 483688 ID: b3ca75
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>We don't necessarily go in guns-a-blazing ourselves.
Indeed, stealth and deception have destroyed far more empires than just the sword alone.
>Seems legit.
And so we sign away our souls…
“Ah… good, good. Now, don’t worry, I have taken good care of your body while we negotiated. Not only will you will find yourself quite refreshed when you wake up, but I’ve also seen to it so the city guards think of you as dead… at least, they think the air elemental that killed lord Markelhay is dead.
”If you can do stuff like that, why don’t you take care of this problem yourself?”
“Because this way is funnier!”
”See you soon!”

---

…And I wake up in terrible pain… Ow… oh, and there’s and ugly earth elemental leaning over me…
“Oh, good, you’re awake, cutie.” He says, ”Please, darling, do not try any sudden moments, you’re still healing from the beautiful wounds…”

Why can’t I ever wake up to a beautiful lean air elemental leaning over me… or at least a water one with a nice tail… is it really that much to ask?

All bandaged up?

Ask where you are. Take inventory, you got any stuff left?

Oh gods, its Hans! Run!

The Whisper 2013/01/09(Wed)09:26 No. 483836 ID: b3ca75
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>All bandaged up?
Either that or this guy’s taste in clothing is as bad as his looks.
>Oh gods, its Hans! Run!
You mean Hans, the Mad Mage? Didn’t he drown in the blood of his enemies hundreds of years ago?
>Take inventory, you got any stuff left?
Let’s see… I got lots of bandages, pain and the need to sleep. But the rest, no, it’s all gone.

>Ask where you are.
“Why, honey, you’re in my fabulous little alchemy shop down at Drury Lane. Some people clad in all black came by a few hours ago, wanted you patched up and I can’t just say no to someone as handsome as you sweetie. But now it just you and me, cutie… all alone… together…I got a table in the other room if want to cut directly to… you know~”

…I don’t know if I should be afraid, disgusted or just confused…
Good news is that I know where we are and it not far from home, bad news is that… thing…

>You mean Hans, the Mad Mage? Didn’t he drown in the blood of his enemies hundreds of years ago?
...well, at least he died happy, then.

>No stuff!
Dangit.

>too forward earth elemental
Politely and delicately decline, in light of your injures.

"As much as I'd like to erode with you I've got dire business to attend to. Like -not- spending eons being used as a stone buffer."

Darn, now where will we get rent?

The Whisper 2013/01/09(Wed)11:42 No. 483855 ID: b3ca75
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”I am sorry, um…beautiful, but have to decline for now. You did say I should take it easy on the wounds.”
“Oh, but we can take it nice and easy~”
”And leave you unsatisfied? Not on my honor! Besides, as much as I'd like to erode with you I've got dire business to attend to… like running away screaming from you…”
“What was that last part?”
”Oh, I just bemoan that we can’t spend time together, my fair maiden, but alas I have to leave! Farwell for now, but let us meet again in our dreams! …more like nightmares…”
“Oh, how should I ever live without someo-

…And I’m out… wait, I should have asked about who brought me here… but, eh, it’s not worth going back there for that.

The Whisper 2013/01/09(Wed)11:42 No. 483856 ID: b3ca75
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>Darn, now where will we get rent?
Why, by pawning off the belt I just stole from the alchemist. The buckle is made of real silver, if I’m not mistaken. It’s probably not worth enough for the whole rent, but should be enough to satisfice the landlord for a few more days.

Well, welcome to the city… and the dawn of a new day. Let’s see, where should we go?

1. Home (I really need a good day of sleep.)
2. The Fence (Sell’s and buy’s pretty much everything.)
3. Shop (The owner still owns me some stuff, can probably get a new crossbow from him.)
4. The alchemist (Why would I ever want to go back there? Why is this thing even listed?)
5. The execution square (The place where they remove the competition. They’ve even put out the one who will bite it tonight, poor bast- wait, isn’t that the guard from the mansion? The water one with the really nice tail that guarded the front gate? Why are they going to kill her?)

Well, I would really like to go home and crash...

But that water elemental is kind of getting killed tonight. And it may be your fault. We might have to do something about that.

If there's time, go home, quickly get some replacement clothes and backup supplies, and then visit the shop for a new crossbow. Then we need to investigate the execution (and quite possibly put a stop to it). If there's no time, head strait to the square, and we'll improvise.

Go back to the alchemists shop to have seks. NO! Horrible! Get a new crossbow in case the alchemist comes after you.

>>483859
We should have time to prepare since it is dawn now and the execution is at night, but I agree we should rescue the guard. Every proper mastermind needs a naive sidekick to order around.

The Whisper 2013/01/09(Wed)15:12 No. 483886 ID: b3ca75
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>we should rescue the guard.
While I’ve never been one to risk my life for charity work, I do feel a little guilty. Then again, she did have a nice tail… But what am I supposed to do with her after I set her free? I can’t just let her run out into the city, the guards will probably just catch her… or worse.
>We should have time to prepare since it is dawn now and the execution is at night.
True, she will be killed at sun down and it’s just about sun rise now. Though, the longer we wait, the more people will wake up, making it more difficult to set her free.

>go home, quickly get some replacement clothes and backup supplies.
New clothes, a black jack and some bolts. It’s always something…
>visit the shop for a new crossbow.
”Good morning, Mr. Scintill, everything going well?”
”…morning, Mr. Whisper. If you’re here to buy something then we’re still closed. Come back in an hour... And I’ve already told you, that poker bet was about a favor not money, so no, I’m not going to pay your rent.”
”Actually, I was wondering if you can spare one of your crossbows?”
”…Son, why on earth would I give you a crossbow just like that?”

fence that belt.

>>483886
Don't we have gold?

Because borrowing a crossbow is a favor. We'll return it(probably) when we can get a new one.

The Whisper 2013/01/09(Wed)16:57 No. 483910 ID: b3ca75
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>fence that belt.
As soon as I get the crossbow.
>Don't we have gold?
Not being able to pay the rent and having gold is kind of opposite off each other.

>Because borrowing a crossbow is a favor. We'll return it(probably) when we can get a new one.
”Why, because it’s a favor. Don’t you want me to stop bugging you about that? And I promise to return it, you have my word, my oath and everything else on that.”
”I can still not just give it to you, no matter how much I want you to stop bugging my about that favor. Do you know how much paperwork I have to do to sell any kind of weapon? The city guard is going crazy about weapon trade lately. They are almost in here once a week to check that I don’t sell them under the table. Sure, I can help you fill out the paper work, but it will still be at least a week before you get your hands on one.”

He wouldn't technically be selling the weapon under the table. Anyone else have any ideas?

You should actually fill the paperwork out at some point. Then use a different crossbow/file off its identification. Then if you are stopped/frisked by a city guard, you could claim to use it legally.

He gives us the crossbow and calls the guards to report a break in.

The Whisper 2013/01/09(Wed)18:08 No. 483915 ID: b3ca75
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”Well, how about if someone steals one?”
”Then I’ll have to fill out the paper work for that instead.”
”What if it got stolen before it got here? They can’t blame you for that.”
”…fine, I’ll write one off on the next shipment. Just remember, I’ll get it back the next poker night.”
”Dream on, bud. And thanks for the crossbow.

>fence that belt.
Got 2 gold for it. Only need 10 more to pay the whole rent.

>we should rescue the guard.
Welp… here I am. I doubt she’ll recognize me… so… how do I do this? And what do I do with sexy tails afterwards? I can’t just leave her here.

Hmm. We'll have to move fast. The longer we wait, the more likely you are to be observed breaking her out. And that's a tough situation to talk your way out of.

Do we even have any tools that could get that lock open, or do we need to get our hands on the key?

I don't suppose there's a poster or something that says what crimes she's accused somehow already convicted of?

You could conscript her into that resistance you're supposed to be a part of now that she's a victim of the corrupt system.

look around. no witnesses? pick that lock. only dumb peasants around? pretend to be cursing at the prisoner while you pick the lock. guards or smart people nearby? go pickpocket a guard for the keys and discreetly give it to her. the keys, I mean.

The Whisper 2013/01/10(Thu)08:31 No. 484059 ID: b3ca75
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>Do we even have any tools that could get that lock open, or do we need to get our hands on the key?
Tools are for complete tools. My hands are made of air, making it quite easy to pick a lock if you know how.
>I don't suppose there's a poster or something that says what crimes she's somehow already convicted of?
There should be one here somewhere… ah, here we go… wait, there’s a letter here too… addressed to “the whisper”? The hell?

…It only says “We know” under a weird shaped blot of ink…

Anyway, as for the poster about the crimes... “Eluvia of the Pulsher water clan has been convicted for aiding the dangerous assassin that inerted Lord Markelhay. Her verdict is to be liquefied at sun down. Please, do not feed, help or otherwise be nice to this criminal scum. Throwing rotten fruit and taunting is encouraged. If you want to have “Fun” with the criminal, please do so at night and clean up after your romp. Love and kisses – the executioner.”

>look around. no witnesses? pick that lock.
Well there is a guy that setting up his booth on the other side of the square, but his too busy to notice anything. Lock picking ti-

“…wha- what?” Oh, she’s waking up, “…are you here to laugh at the s-show? Wait… What are you doing!?”

…Maybe I should talk to her before I set her free, just to make sure she isn’t hostile or something…

>My hands are made of air, making it quite easy to pick a lock if you know how.
Silly me, assuming that a society of elementals might have designed locks that, yanno, elementals can open bare handed.

>What are you doing?!
Saving your life? If you're opposed to that, speak up now, because it would certainly make my life easier.

Inform her of your affiliation with the resistance and that you know she was uninvolved in any assassination plot. She is being executed as a scapegoat to save face since they failed to locate the real killer and you want to offer her the chance to join to avoid execution.

>>484059
If she asks why you're doing this for her, tell her she has a nice tail. Save for later that she got in trouble because you fooled her into letting you in so you're sortof responsible. If you told her that now she'd probably yell at you and that'd attract attention.

tell her you're saving her for reasons completely other than getting her to want to have sex with you.

>Silly me, assuming that a society of elementals might have designed locks that, yanno, elementals can open bare handed
And if they haven't done that, how did they manage to make a stockade that can hold hands made of water?

The Whisper 2013/01/10(Thu)12:23 No. 484108 ID: b3ca75
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>Silly me, assuming that a society of elementals might have designed locks that, yanno, elementals can’t open bare handed.
Well, most locks are designed to be pretty immune against anything water, fire and earth elementals can do. They just keep forgetting us air guys, those speciesist bastards. Besides, took me years just to figure out how to do it, even longer to master it.
>how did they manage to make a stockade that can hold hands made of water?
See, speciesists! I bet they don’t have stockades for air elementals, but water? Sure thing.

>If she asks why you're doing this for her, tell her she has a nice tail.
While amusing, I think I’ll use some better words than that. There is still a chance I might get some reward for this.

”Why I’m saving your life, miss.”
“W-what? Why?”
”I can’t just let them destroy such a perfect form of beauty, now can I? But really, do you really need a reason to do something good? Now, shush, I almost got you free…” …Chicks dig chivalrous guys, right?
“W-where are going to take me? Are you going to r-ravish me?”
”Well, maybe if you insist later… but as for where to take you… you see, I work for the resistance a-”
“You’re with the resistance? I find t-that hard to believe. Oh, and there is a guard coming…”

Wait, what? Well, crap, I didn’t see her coming… I kind of was too distracted by that sex-… other things.

”Stop pestering the scum, peasant. It’s time for the morning force feeding. Not even the pigs would eat this, hah ha ha.”

Well, you can act natural and let this happen, but that would probably take a while and people might show up to throw things at her.
Since there's a person setting up a booth, blackjacking the guard probably isn't an option.

Can you maybe convince him to let you do the force feeding? With luck, he'd leave and you could carry on your business.

Maybe we can spare her the feeding?

Why are you even bother to feed her that? She'll be dead anyways, tonight, and if they're liquifying her, that slop will just mean the execution will leave a worse mess to clean up.

The Whisper 2013/01/10(Thu)13:27 No. 484126 ID: b3ca75
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>Why are you even bother to feed her that?
”I have to ask, why feed her? Isn’t she going to be liquefied tonight anyway?”
”It’s either that or go all the way to the scrap heap to dump it, and frankly, this is way more fun.”
”But won’t it make the cleanup worse?”
”You do now that she will be in a pot when we boil away her skin, right? We simple use the leftovers as the base to make food for the next prisoner.”
”What!? Are you telling you just cast away something like elemental water? Earth one loves to use it in their drinks, so you’ll probably get at least 50 gold a bottle on the black market. If you’re smart, that is.”
”Really? Hah ha, you’re lucky this time, scum. No force feeding for you, instead we will sell your filthy remains like the trash it is. Thank you for the tip, stranger.”
”No problem.”
…
Well, I just stole the key to the stockade, so I can free her as soon as the guard is out of sight… Of course, I still haven’t figured out what to do with her after I free her. Any ideas?
“Y-you made that up, r-right? About the e-earth drinks?”
”Probably.”

>>484126
Well, we could always use a minion. She just needs a little training and experience.

Well, immediately following her escape, you're going to need to hide or disguise her. They'll likely be looking for the escaped prisoner, after all.

>>484126
Since she owes us her life, she can help us in our quest. You've clearly demonstrated your lack of ability in straightforward combat, so an easy way to compensate for that is to have help.

Maybe out of pure coincidence(haha it's not coincidence) she'll turn out to be the love of your life that you signed the contract for!

The Whisper 2013/01/10(Thu)14:54 No. 484158 ID: b3ca75
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>Maybe out of pure coincidence (haha it's not a coincidence) she'll turn out to be the love of your life that you signed the contract for!
You really think so? I don’t know… she is nice looking, sure, but she is a little bit too timid for my taste.
>Well, immediately following her escape, you're going to need to hide or disguise her.
I guess I can take her home. I think I got some clothes and make up that would disguise her nicely…

“Um… where are you taking me?”
”Home, sweet home. It’s not much, but it’s ho- um…
”Ah, I see you was able to rescue agent Eluvia without any problem. You have completed the test and are now an official member of the “Fools”, agent Masil. Well done.”

…what?

>…what?
Obviously this is your contact and/or recruiter with the rebels you retroactively joined thanks to the reality warping meddling of the light-being.

Use your savy, here. Roll with it. Of course you knew she was a rebel agent, and you were rescuing her for the cause. Not a problem at all.

>>484158
Wait, I thought we were already a member due to the thing in the afterlife? MAYBE THIS GUY IS A SPY!

Or well, ask him what your membership benefits are.

cool, cool. so who are you again?

The Whisper 2013/01/10(Thu)16:28 No. 484229 ID: b3ca75
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>Wait, I thought we were already a member due to the thing in the afterlife?
…I don’t know. Did that light thing actually change anything or did he just set me up so I would become a member?

>so who are you again?
Um… Thanks you… miss…?
Oh, how rude of me. I am Salvador. Corporal Salvador of the Ethereal clan.
Also known as the ass kisser.
I heard that.

> Of course you knew she was a rebel agent, and you were rescuing her for the cause. Not a problem at all.
Well then, I completed the mission you gave me… with splendor, if I have to say so myself…
…Wait, did you actually figure it out before you came here? Outstanding! You’re even better than Eluvia gave you credit for.
Um… yes, of course… I figured it out…
I told you he was perfect for the rebellion.

>ask him what your membership benefits are.
So… do I get dental, or what?
Dental? …wait, you mean benefits, right? Well, you have our protection, our aid and the honor to fight for freedom and equality!
I rather have bread on the table and a roof over my head.
Of course, those who aid the cause will be rewarded generously, and besides, if you don’t join we’ll just give you over to the City Guard, Mr. “Assassin”… And you do have a life debt to pay back to Eluvia, she did save you after you crashed through that window, after all.
But I did just pay it back, didn’t I?
That was faked, pretty boy. The only danger I was in was getting feed gruel by Aqulon overplaying his part… that jerk.
Well, if Eluvia here is done talking about her love life, then I’m leaving. Be prepared to get you first assignment at nightfall, it will be a prison break, if I remember correctly… Oh, and say hi to your new partner, Eluvia, she’ll be staying here with you for a while.
Wait, what? Are you just going to leave me here? At least give me my clothes back you… YOU ASS KISSER! …damn it!

>>484229
And you thought she was timid.

Well, at least the guard won't be looking for her, then. Still, if that was staged, she should be perfectly free to go back to her place. Especially if that's where her clothes and gear is (although it might be gentlemanly to lend her something in the meantime).

And I guess it's time to rest up then, if we got a mission tonight. You're still pretty beat after last night.

So I'm guessing she was playing security for Lord Markelhay's party to set him up for something and we just stumbled in and saved whoever she was actually there to let through the trouble.

...well hello there, miss Eluvia. how you doin'?

>Wait, did you actually figure it out before you came here? Outstanding!

Well, the poster really gave it away. Hell, the only thing we didn't know was that it was fake, just that it was a mission.

Do they know what happened to the real assassin though? Seeing as he was the one who brought us to near death.

The Whisper 2013/01/11(Fri)11:39 No. 484481 ID: b3ca75
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>And you thought she was timid.
Well, she was… I’m going to guess I was an act. After all, who suspects the timid one with low self-esteem?
>So I'm guessing she was playing security for Lord Markelhay's party to set him up for something.
So… why were you at the party?
To spy on the Lord. We thought he was a potential ally to the enemy, though they apparently thought the opposite. No real loss.
>Do they know what happened to the real assassin though?
Our cart lost a wheel so that joker got away. Though we do know who he is now thanks to your little screw up, so that always something.

>Still, if that was staged, she should be perfectly free to go back to her place.
Well, you are welcome to stay, but feel free to go back to your own place anytime you want.
My “place” is several miles away and was on fire last time I saw it. It’s probably not an “is” anymore, more of a “was”. So, yes, I apparently stuck here with you, pretty boy.
>And I guess it's time to rest up then, if we got a mission tonight.
…Well, if you’re going to stay then I’ll have to warn you, I only have one bed.
…I rather sleep on the cold floor.
Oh, you wound me. Can’t you trust little old me to sleep next to you, I mean, it’s a pretty big bed.
Of course I don’t trust you, we just met!

>it might be gentlemanly to lend her something.
Of course, though it’s a shame to cover up something with such beautiful curves…
H-hey, stop staring at me l-like that!
My apologies, but I’m just trying to measure you up so I know which of my clothes would fit you. Besides, it doesn’t hurt to just stop for a while and enjoy the beauty nature have bestowed on us.
…j-just stop, okay.


Also, Happy birthday to me, I guess...

>>484481
Well, go looking for something she can wear, while asking her about Aqulon. Are they together or was Ass Kisser messing with her about that too?

Alright, alright, a clothesless piece of tail is sharing your apartment. We get it. Lay off the cheap lines.

Point her towards the closet, and go collapse in bed.

ask her about the enemy she mentioned.